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Burning Desire #2



@PicPerfectMichaels has posted a status update:

"Just landed here at JFK, and the moment the wheels touched down I felt a tingling sensation running up and down my spine. Because the moment the plane landed I knew that countdown was officially on, and that my time to finally capture gold here in EAW was now. Now time to shut the mouths of every head in the sand hater like Lucas Johnson and Anthony Leonhart. Now is the time to stick it to every last doubter who said that I would never be more than a preliminary match player. Now is the time to cement my name in the record books of not only a of this company, but of the entire sport of Professional Wrestling. I was born to do great things, and this Friday night will be a preview of things to come. When it is all said and done I will go down as the greatest competitor to ever step in the ring. Titles wins, five star classic matches, leaving a lasting legacy and impact upon the entire industry, that is what you can expect from me. The start of a new golden age in professional wrestling begins the moment my hand is raised at Burning Desire and I am crowned the Elite Answers Wrestling New Breed Champion.

And to me, no better way to kick that golden age off than with that New Breed title. Because even though it has been marred by being passed off from one mediocre talent to the next (especially in the case of our current so called Champion), that belt is the symbol for those who will lead the way in within the next generation of top guys here in EAW. It has been the Championship that has brought national awareness to men like CM Banks, Devan Dubian, Brian Daniels, and even TLA. This title is one that should be celebrated and cherished, because to hold it is a sign that you are a legend in the making. Instead because of men like JJ Silva, Maxwell Dacsh, and our dear Lucas Johnson, and this once gleaming torch that lights the way for the future of this company, has died down and dimmed to just the faintest of embers. But that will all change after Burning Desire, because once that title is placed around the waist of the brightest burning star, the New Breed Championship shall shine like never before. I am coming to restore pride to that title by being a champion who is actually deserving to hold it. I am here to uplift it from the gutter of the B minus bastards who have soiled it with their grubby hands. I am coming to save the New Breed Championship!


And to do so I am gonna have to kick the ever loving shit out of two of Dynasty's biggest jackasses.


First off we have the roaring pussycat Anthony Leonhart (you know, the guy who is outclassed and has no business being in this match). Don't ask me how the hell this dumb fuck tripped over his own feet and fell into a title match, don't ask me how after getting his ass handed to him by both myself and Lucas Johnson he somehow wound up back in the ring with both of us, he'll don't even ask me if he'll bother to speak coherently this time around. I can't answer a damn question about Anthony Leonhart save for one thing, he is gonna walk into the Barclay Center having lost his last match to Mark Michaels, and he's gonna walk out the exact same way.

You know it really is something the way that Anthony went into the world for months to better himself both professionally and personally. How he studied in some of the finest dojos, under some of the best teachers in all of Japan, and at the end of the day it did all of jack shit for him. In fact if anything he's worst than when he left because now he's duped some of the lower I.Q.s in the crowd into expecting a modicum of excellence out of him. It takes more than a quick make over and a copy of samurai speak for dummies to achieve true excellence. It takes a lifetime of dedication to a craft, and years of hard work to earn the right to challenge for Championship gold. Anthony you simply can't compare to me. You are to short to measure up to the best professional athlete across the board. You don't have snowflake's chance in hell of getting the better of me, because there is absolutely nothing better than perfect.

It might be hard to swallow, but it's better to accept the fact that I'm gonna beat your ass quicker than last time. I'm doing so for your own good. I'm doing this so that you'll learn your proper place in the food chain here in EAW. You might think you're the king of the jungle, but right now you are dealing with the big game hunter who is gonna mount your head on his wall. Get those pipe dreams of you becoming the New Breed Champion out of your head right now, because there is no way that I will allow either you or Lucas to walk out the Barclay Center with what should rightfully belong to me. I am the future of this company no ifs, ands, or buts about it. You, you won't even be a footnote in the ultimate history of EAW. So now that I've told you exactly what's gonna happen this Friday (kinda like how I told you what would happen last Friday) go ahead and soak up all the glitz and glamor that you can, because once I hit that screen Cracker, it's all going bye-bye for you pal #sayonaraShithead.

And now that I've analyzed Anthony, that just leaves that bloated, cream puff looking mother fucker who has my belt.

You know something talk a lot about guys who are overrated, but there is not a man in EAW today who is more so than Lucas Johnson. You know everyone likes to talk about how Lucas has dominated... well the fleas of EAW when you look at it realistically. He's beaten low ceiling talent such as Chris Paradise and our own Anthony Leonhart, but when it comes to true top tier talent, he simply can't cut it. I mean take for example the fact that he lost to Scott Oasis just a few weeks ago. I myself on the other hand beat Scotty in less than a minute #Fact.

Maybe that's why this supposed NCAA Badass lost all his balls when it came to accepting my challenge. Maybe that's why he couldn't look me in the eye when I came out and stared him down a few weeks ago. And maybe it's why he waited till the last minute and had to blindside me before agreeing to put up that belt. When it comes down to it everything I've seen out of Lucas this past two months plus screams that he fears Mark Michaels.

That's right Luke, we all know it already that you start shaking in your boots the moment you hear that you might have to step into the ring with me again. You know that no one ever gets one over on Mark Michaels and doesn't get the ass kicking of a lifetime the next go around. I'm about to send you right back to that lower mid-card hell you were stuck in before picking up the biggest fluke win the world has ever seen.

I am fixing to expose you for the fraud you are Lucas, because we both know you're not a conqueror, we both know you're not a bad ass who takes on all comers, and we both know that come hell or high water there is not a goddamn thing that can stop me from planting your skull into the mat with a Picture Perfect. Come at me bro, and I'll be more than happy to show you that he moment you think everything is going your way, is the exact same moment my knee hits your face and leaves you laid out and staring at the lights! In the blink of an eye you go from being on top of the world, to being on the bottom of my boot while I'm standing over your unconscious body taking a selfie.

There is a saying in Brooklyn, Unity Makes Strength, and with over 18,000 of my friends, followers, and subscribers packing filling the Barclay Center, you will be going toe to toe, face to face with the strongest man in EAW. Test me Lucas, and you'll see first hand that I possess the Perfect combination of speed, strength, and technique, all wrapped together by months of frustration at having been jerked around when it came time to get a title match. Months of being passed along in favors of your dumb ass getting kicked over and over again simply because Sebastian Monroe must have gotten a good laugh every time he saw you bouncing off the canvas. Months of having to wait behind pathetic putzes who must have gotten down on their knees and blown of Monroe's yes men in New Jersey. This Friday I am coming at you like a raging inferno, they call this one Burning Desire, well I have the greatest desire to become the New Breed Champion, so I guess that means your ass is gonna get burned in that ring.

But look on the bright side, when your old and grey you can tell your grandchildren all about how you got your ass handed to you by THE Mark Michaels.


Burning Desire, you two assholes are gonna find out just why I am the Twitter Trendsetter, the Instagram Icon, the #Hero millions upon millions around the world who recognize me for all my absolute Perfection. You boys are in for the fight of your lives because I am the Destiny of Dynasty, the Brightest burning star in EAW, the future face of this company, and hands down the single greatest professional athlete to ever lace up a pair of boots. This Friday I am going to stand tall over both of you halfwit hacks, while I raise that New Breed Championship over my head. You boys are about to become famous because my victory will be the most shared, retweeted, and liked moment on the face of the earth! Anthony, Lucas, both of you had better start Picturing THAT!


#EAW #Dynasty #BurningDesire #Friday"


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FADE TO BLACK

Dynasty promo #2


@PicPerfectMichaels has posted a status update:

"Well here we are again, another week gone by and another no name chump whose the equivalent of a piece of dog dung that I have to scrape off the bottom of my shoe. Gambit sure has been quite this week, maybe it's because he's knows he's about to get torched from bell to bell in just a few short minutes? Who am I kidding? Of course that's the reason why. And it's for good reason, because I am gonna tear right thru that son of a bitch like a hot knife thru butter. I can't wait for this match to start, because as soon as it does it'll be over.

Once that bell rings, I am gonna run over that crackhead cowboy like a fright train. And once I'm done with him, I'll be on to much bigger things (literally when you consider the size of Lucas Johnson's fat ass). That right Luke, one way or another I'll be seeing you real soon.

Because with Burning Desire the next major stop on the road to Pain For Pride, you better believe that I am looking to punch my ticket straight to MetLife Stadium. So my dear friends, followers, and subscribers, keep your eyes peeled, because I promise you that big things are coming.

This is the time of year when legends are born, this is the season when history is made, and this is when the all time greats etch their names in immortality with heart stopping performances and amazing victories. This is Pain For Pride season, and I have been waiting for this for what has seemed like an eternity now. I am anxiously awaiting to my make grand entrance at the biggest event the world has ever seen.

I'll say it right now, she I make my Pain For Pride debut the world will never forget it #Promise


But for right now, I am gonna go out tonight and in front of this sold out crowd of my followers here at the Mississippi Coast Coliseum, and beat the three brain cells Gambit has left, out of his otherwise empty head. And hopefully after I plant his fucking skull into the mat with a Picture Perfect, Sebastian Monroe will start to wise up and hand me real competition (a term I use for a lack of a better word because there is not a man alive who could ever compare to me).

Now I would go on, but I can hear them queuing up my music, so get ready Biloxi, because you are about to be graced with the presence of the Twitter Trendsetter, the Instagram Icon, the #Hero to millions upon millions from each and every corner of the globe. The man who with his combination of speed, strength, and technique has proven him self to the absolute picture of perfection. The undisputed Social Media Champion and hands down the single greatest professional athlete to ever step into the ring. So Gambit, and anyone else who might be listening, go on a picture That.

#EAW #Dynasty"


43,000,000 + users liked this.

FADE TO BLACK.

Dynasty Promo #3


@PicPerfectMichaels has posted a status update:


"You know something followers, as I sit here moments away from making my triumphal entry on the stage here on Dynasty. I have a moment to reflect on everything that has brought me to this moment. From the first Social Media site I signed up with, to the first time I worked out with Don Hibson, to seeing my first wrestling match on television that fateful Saturday morning, to one of my earliest memories. One where I heard someone say the words 'L'Etoile du Nord'. I remember asking my father what those funny words meant, he told me that it meant the star of the north. The motto of Minnesota ended up being a sort of prophetic word, because here I stand now today as not just the star of the north, but of the east, west, south, and every space in between. I have become the biggest thing to hit since... well since ever. I have become a crossover superstar that commands an army of followers on social media. I am the most popular superstar on Dynasty, the one who sells the boat loads of tickets and merchandise that keep this overbloated brand out of the red. I don't need to hide my identity, because as I've said time and again I have nothing to hide. You hear my Smiles, not a goddamn thing.

Every Friday night I step into the ring and make this company money hand over fist. Enough to keep bottom feeder talents like you with food on the table. But if you want to keep acting like an ungrateful bastard, that's fine. I'll do to you what I do to each and every other gimmick loving freak whose ever crossed my path. See I've told you already about how I've gone toe to toe with guys like Mr.DeDeDe and Y2Impact, but in your case Smiles I feel like I should talk about the other side of the coin. Like for instance remember RedRum the clown? Of course you don't because in his first match in the company I kicked his ass back to the side show tent. Or perhaps you might recall The Riddler, you know the guy who just a month ago everyone was wetting their panties over because he was dark and mysterious and spoke about his struggles or whatever. One screen cracker sent him back to whatever hole he crawled out of. He came in one week, got a shot at the new Breed Championship that he didn't earn, and Mark Michaels kicked his overrated ass right out of EAW (sounds kinda familiar doesn't it). See every time one of you goofy, gimmick guys act like you're the biggest thing since sliced bread, I right here to remind you that there's a big difference between the shit, and just being shitty.

See while you like to act like you're the only one who ever worked in bingo halls and swap meets, I'd like to remind you that there is a mega mart worth of guys just like you who I chew up and spit out faster than a fucking machine gun! You're nothing special Target, you're just another bargain bin gimmick whose head gets a little too big from his flavor of the month pop. But the sad thing with you is that while the other no names I've kicked to the curb at least were able to make something of splash (no matter how small it actually was) you Smiles, you aren't even a fucking blip on the goddamn radar. Believe you me pal, the only reason anybody half remembers your name, is because you have shared the ring with the single greatest professional athlete to ever step between the ropes.

Target, you sad, strange, Michaels envy suffering son of a bitch, You say I only put up the highlights on my social media post, well in a way your correct because my entire life is a highlight reel. From the moment I open my eyes, till I settle in for the night, every single solitary moment is must watch when it's me! That is why I deserve to be placed on those billboards and tv ads. I know what I am worth, and that is exactly why it pisses my right the fuck off that I'm being saddled with you Target. I deserve to be in the ring with the best of the best, it's the exactly reason I signed with EAW in the first place. Instead my talents are being squandered in a throw away squash match with some joker who no one will remember when he's gone.


You talked about it how you worked in shit holes with no A/C, well get ready because once I'm thru with you, those buildings will seem like Madison Square Garden compared to the places you'll have to take bookings at just to pay the light bill.

Target get ready, because you are in for an A-List ass kicking. One that you'll be feeling for weeks. I am about to smack you upside the head and send that mask of yours into the third row. I am fixing to walk out to that ring, in front of every last one of the doubters who said I'd never amount to anything in this business, and show them exactly how my combination of speed, strength, technique, and charisma, have earned me the title of Perfection incarnate. So Target why don't you just sit back, relax, and enjoy your first class seat on the end of my boot all the way across Lake Superior!

After I am done with you tonight Target, there won't be a single doubt in anyone's mind as to why I am the Twitter Trendsetter, the Instagram Icon, the #Hero to millions upon millions of followers from St. Paul to St. Ives. Followers who recognize my greatness. Followers who know that I am the future face of not just Elite Answers Wrestling, but of this great sport that I have dedicated my life to. They know that I am the the brightest burning star that this company will ever know, and thats it's all because I am hands down the single greatest professional wrestler to lace up a pair of boots. That is why I command this army of friends, followers, and subscribers, my skills in the ring have translated to me becoming their undisputed Social Media Champion. I am the unquestioned picture of perfection, and with Pain For Pride just over the horizon, I am going to prove to every last one of you head in the sand haters that there is no such thing as being better than Perfect! Target, you're gonna learn that lesson well in just a few minutes, so while you can go ahead and Picture THAT! #Dynasty #EAW #PicturePerfectHomecoming"


44,000,000 users liked this.

Dynasty Promo #1


@PicPerfectMichaels has posted a status update:

"You know something, there's a reason why I hate matches like the Grand Rampage. That's right I hate these random entry battle royals where the only way to win is to stay in the ring, that's all. How does that make for a worthy challenger for world champion at the biggest event of the year? Everyone and their mother is going on and on a about how the Pizza Boy showed so much heart and determination and passion, all the while forgetting that I hit him with the Screen Cracker and dropped him on his ass! Had this been any other match (or at least any match where the objective is to beat your opponent) nobody would be giving a shit about that dough baking bastard. One. Two. Three. There is not a single shred of doubt in my mind it would have happened had this been an actual wrestling match. Instead I got denied my destiny by some jackass from Jersey whose image at the top when you google choke artist. That blind squirrel may have stumbled onto a nut at Grand Rampage when he sucker punched me on the apron, but like always he fell short of even the smallest of goals, when he got tossed out on his ass.

So now as My driver is delivering me to the airport, I am leaving all the bull crap that occurred in the Grand Rampage match in Barcelona, and I turn my gaze towards the U.S., and the future. The very near future to be specific, because the countdown is on, and Pain For Pride just keeps getting closer and closer, but before we get there, we have a few stops to make, like for instance The Burning Desire supershow, or sooner than that the Grand Rampage fallout show for Dynasty. And between the shocking returns, and results that we all just saw and tweeted about, this Friday night will be one that is sure to be the one that sets the tone as we ride along the road to Pain for Pride.


Now that road is long and hard and there are many who cannot walk it, one such individual is man by the name of Mongoose McQueen. Now everybody reading this knows I've made no bones about how disgusted I was that this man was essentially handed a golden opportunity for LOSING his match against TLA just a few weeks ago. And I think the world saw just why I was when he was one of the first 5-6 guys eliminated in the match. That's the problem with handing out chances like this to bums like him, they always end up being squandered on a pathetic peon who doesn't appreciate it because he didn't have to work to get it. And now after the smoke has cleared and the dust has settled and Grand Rampage is in the rear view mirror, we see just how much of a worm Moonjuice or whatever the hell he calls himself actually is. In a matter of a day he's gone from a man who though he could conquer the world, to a mopey little bitch who can't even be lift his head up long enough to do his own whining.


But what can you expect from a man like McQueer, he has been handed opportunities for nothing since the day he walked in thru the door. And each and every time he's been in a position to be handed the world on a sliver platter, he has managed to stumble over his own feet and fall flat on his face. And yet here he is again being handed another opportunity that most men would give their right arms for, he has been handed the opportunity to face the single most popular athlete in EAW today, live on worldwide television.

Me, the man who has stood toe to toe with hall of famers like Zack Crash, Methuselah, And Y2Impact. The man who took their best shots and came back for more. The Man who wrestled circles around them.

And Has he earned it? Of course not. But for some reason Sebastian Monroe keeps throwing life vests at the talent that can't swim in the ocean we call Dynasty. He does this in spite of seeing how well it worked with Lucian Black. He does this because he thinks that a lowlife like McQueen can hold the weight of this brand on his shoulders. Let me ask something, how can a man uphold the standards of a major brand, when he has no standards himself? When there is nothing about him that reaches to be tossed in with the lowest of talent on the Dynasty roster? Moon... you know what, it's easier to just call him asshole.


So asshole over there, he's nothing more than a D minus player that is getting handed more money, more marquee match ups, and more title shots, than the man whose followers across all social media have made this brand a ratings juggernaut. Where is my reward just for showing up? Where is the title opportunities without having to slog thru a dozen Michaels envy suffering jackasses? Where is the heaping mountains of praise for knocking TLA upside the head Pele style? Why is it that chumps get all the main events, while I'm stuck with mid card for life losers like Finnegan Wakefield and Momfuck McDouchbag. Well I will be damned if I allow this trend to continue. I will no longer allow the mediocre talent to pass up the greatest professional athlete to ever grace step into a wrestling ring. This Friday night, I am going to give Moonshine McQueen a bigger ass kicking than the Green Bay Packers give the Chicago Bears.

I am more than pissed at how often I've been overlooked in favor for the flavor of the month. I'm sick of getting held back behind the riddlers, Lucas Johnsons, and Goonmoose McFuckfaces of the world, and I amfixing to put an end to all the overrated, overhyped, underdeveloped, rat bastard, sons of bitches, who think that they can waltz in and steal my spotlight, and not get a right proper A-list ass whipping courtesy of the future face of not just this company, but the entire industry. I'm going to cut thru every last one of these small time schlubs like a hot knife thru butter. Maybe then some of those stiffs back at EAW headquarters will recognize me for everything I am, and if they don't, then I'll just have to send every last unfortunate bastard in the back straight to the injured reserve list till they do.


I am making it my mission to rise up above each and every piece of the dead weight I've been chained to, starting with McNugget this week on Dynasty. And as I make my way towards Pain For Pride, I'll be using every head I plant into the mat with a picture perfect as a stepping stone. There will be nothing, and nobody who can stop me from attaining every last ounce of greatness and glory that I am due, and I will receive it all of it at the biggest show of the year.

I promise that by Pain For Pride, I will make sure that each and every last jackass from the locker room to the board room knows exactly why I am the Twitter Trendsetter, the Instagram icon, the #Hero to millions upon millions of followers the whole world round. And these followers recognize that I alone possess the Perfect combination of speed, strength, and technical prowess. My followers aren't like these head in the sand haters who try to deny that I am everything I claim to be. Those haters better start preparing for the Mark Michaels era of EAW because there is not a man in that locker room, not a single solidarity one, who can ever claim to be better than Perfect.
and what an era it will be. When I am crowned the face of EAW, when I am the embodiment of this company, this sport that I have devoted my life to, will see higher hights and greater gains, truly it will be the perfect era. And it will all be courtesy of the brightest burning star EAW will ever know. The single greatest professional athlete to ever lace up a pair of boots and step into the ring. The man who is the unquestioned Destiny of Dynasty, and most importantly the man who will be blazing a golden path to Pain For Pride, so GoneNoose (or whatever the fuck his name is) better start bucking up, wiping up his tears, and Picturing THAT! #EAW #Dynasty."


43,000,000 users liked this.

Dynasty promo #4


@PicPerfectMichaels has posted an image:

(An image of white letters against a black background that read 'Sorry that you're just a pussy.')





@PicPerfectMichaels left a comment:

"Nothing makes me feel better than getting a good set in the gym, and putting little birches like Lucas Johnson in their place. So as of right now I can say that it's a good day today. You know someone showed me a video of this little jerk off running his mouth about how he deserved to have a title shot handed to him. How he should have won the young Lion's cup, and about how he's somehow better than actually having to earn title matches. Let me tell you something Lucas, only winners get championships. Not whinny little jackasses who fall flat on their faces each and every time they step up to the plate. Let me ask you something Lucas, what's the difference between now and a month ago? Or even the month before that? I'll tell you right now that there is no difference. Your still the same over privileged asshole, a bully who peaked in high school and longs for his glory days when his buddies would kiss his ass for giving swirlees to the nerds. I dare you to Just try and stuff me, or anybody else on the roster for that matter, into a locker and I guarantee that you'll get smacked so hard that double chin will come flying off your neck.

You wanna talk about lockers, and cars, and tables, and guns, bring all that crap to the ring this Friday and you'd still find a way choke. You'd still find a way to fuck up and watch the number one contenders spot slip thru your fingers... again! Because you are not a big match player, you're not man who excels when the spotlight is cast on him like I do. You're not the main event, you're what they throw out there when the crowd needs a bathroom break. Lucas it's time for you to wake up and take a good look around, because your about to step in the ring with the man who never gets out done in a big match situation. The man who stands center stage and elevates his performance when all eyes are on him. And you my friend are about the find out firsthand just what a true contender to a championship looks like.

Lucas, you need to start setting your sights on attainable goals. You want a clothing line even though you have no since of style. You want a private jet even though nobody would book your ass, except maybe Sebastian Monroe or one of his puppets. You want to hold something as prestigious as the Interwire championship even though you are just simply not up to snuff. What a man of your skills should be focusing on is trying to reach Lettuce washer at McDonalds.


Face it Lucas, you're just not Championship material. That's why you have spent months on end digging, and clawing, and whining, and bitching about wanting a title match, instead of actually you know earning one. You're totally pathetic, thinking you're amongst the true elite of this company because you catch a fluke win every once in a great while. Because anyone can catch a lucky break on any given night, but true greats are the ones who night in and night out put on the show stopping performances. Who go out and pull off a win in convincing fashion just about every time out. The true greats are the men who can actually get the job done when they get their opportunities. That's what separates a chump like you from a an all star like me.

Come on down Luke, lock up with me one more time and let's see if you can go two for two against absolute perfection. Go ahead and lock me in that Machine Break bullcrap, broken arm or not, nothing is going to stop me from getting that Interwire title match. Because bones will heal, but holding a championship, that will last forever.

Oh and in case you thought I forgot about the other two unfortunate bastards who I'm gonna torch from the moment the bell ring, think again.


I keep hearing about how much of a tough guy this Atiliano Castillos is. But for the life of me, I haven't heard a peep out of him since this match was announced. I bet you he's shaking in his shoes wishing he could back out of this match. That he could find a rock to hide under so that he doesn't have to be outright embarrassed by the unequaled ass kicking he's about to receive. Atiliano is about to learn that it doesn't matter how hard you hit, or how fast you can strike, when you get your head planted into the mat via a Picture Perfect, all that you're gonna be able to do is stare up at the lights while I'm getting my hand raised in Victory.

That's what happens to a no talent punk when he steps in the ring with the unquestioned greatest professional wrestler this company has ever seen! He becomes a mop, because I'm gonna wipe the floor up with him. After this Friday Atiliano will wish he had just stuck to trading crack for blowjobs, or vice versa, I'm not entirely sure with him. After that final bell has is finished ringing, Castillos will forever be known as overrated, overhyped, underdeveloped son of a bitch who got exposed as such because he thought he could hang with Mark Michaels.


Speaking of guys who think they could hang, let's talk about Methuselah for a moment. The guy who's a pediphile one moment, a granny fucker the next, and by this time next month a tranny hooker connoisseur, and even then no one would lay the guy. How is it that this joker thinks he can still try and run that hokey mystic crap anymore? Has he been drinking his own goddamn kool-aid? He must be if he keeps running his mouth about some kind of God of flies. Live on Dynasty, I'm gonna do him a favor and wake him up and get him to quit yammering on and on about this bullshit he's been taking, by beating his ass from bell to bell.


Because when you step into the ring with Mark Michaels, all the fantasies you dream up in your playtime get kicked right out the door. And all that's left is is the undeniable truth that Mark Michaels stands head and shoulders over each and every bastard who is dumb enough to even think about trying to best me in the ring.

Let's see these so called powers that you have been granted. Let your creepy hentai monster God just try to wrap his tenticles around me, if he even has enough balls to even try. Come at me bro, or as you would put it, test me brethren. Prove you can still go when it's all on the line, prove that after all the bullShit you spout off about that you still have what it takes to be relevant in the ring. Or at the very least try to die with a little dignity before you are turned into the next meal for the new top of the food chain here in EAW.

Enough with the games. Enough with the amulets, enough with the whining over bitches you were never gonna get with. Man the fuck up, and get your head on straight, becuase I'm not gonna stand from any of your spilt personality crap after I pin you one, two, three in the middle of the ring.

And that more or less goes for the rest of you as well, because after this Friday, I don't want to hear anybody bitching about the best man in the fight winning. I don't want to hear any lame excuses, like how you stubbed your toe in training, or you just plum forgot you had a match this week. You are all about to step into the ring with the only man In this match who's not only worthy of facing Drake Jager, but beating him and taking possession of the EAW Interwire Championship. The man who is a new dawn in Elite Answers Wrestling. The man who is leading the way to a new and better era of EAW. You are stepping into the ring with the twitter Trendsetter, the Instagram Icon, the #Hero who is about to take his rightful place in the pantheon of greatness, starting by winning this fourway match and going on to take that championship belt off of Drake Jager.

The biggest and brightest burning star that this company has seen, or ever will see. The man who is the personification of greatness, and the embodiment of Perfection. Simply put the greatest professional athlete to ever grace an EAW ring with his presence, who is done with waiting and ready to take what is due to him. The reigning, defending, and undisputed Champion of all social media, "Picture Perfect" Mark Michaels.

And when I'm done with the three of you, I'm on my way to terminate the T-1000, so everybody better start falling in line, and start Picturing THAT! #EAW #Dynasty #MainEvent #Friday"



44,000,000+ users liked this.

Dynasty promo # 1


@PicPerfectMichaels has uploaded a status update:


"You know a lot of people have been posting comments and wondering why I've been a bit quiet this week. First I just wanted everyone to know I'm fine, second as to why I've been on the #DL it's because I've been working overtime in the gym to get ready for my upcoming bout against Lucas Jackass, or jerkoff, or whatever the hell his name is.

Now I say that knowing that Lucas is a hell of a wrestler. A damn fine mat general with this nice little intensity that he's added, it makes him a threat. But this Friday in the Hampton Colosseum, he better be prepared To match up against The guy who gonna match him move for move, the guy who just when luke thinks thinks he has me just where he wants me, WHAM #ScreenCracker #1-2-3

Now before all the haters out there say I'm being an arrogant asshole, understand that I'm saying what I'm saying because after that loss to Kelly Hackenschmidt, it's more than motivated me. It's lit a fire under me the likes of which have never been seen. Everybody better be prepared for a hungrier, more motivated Mark Michaels, because 2017 is the Perfect year to add some gold around my waist, and now that Lucas Johnson, who just happened to be in that fatal four way for the number one contendership has been place right in my sights, there's no better time than right now to toss my name right back into the hat as far as getting a title shot in the near future.

This Friday night, in front of the good people of Hampton, Virginia, the Wrestling Machine is gonna get shut down, courtesy of Dynasty's own Twitter Trendsetter, Instagram Icon, and #Hero to every single soul who helped us sell out Coliseum (thank you all from the bottom of my heart). People who whether they will be celebrating the inauguration of our president elect, or lamenting it. Whether they were saying make America great again, or that it always has been. This Friday night, I will be more than happy to represent both the left and the right, liberals and conservatives, reds blues blacks whites and other person in everywhere they allow me to, as THIER social media champion.

So come on down this Friday Lucas, because this Friday even though you have the freedom to, you won't have to choose between black or blue when I plant my boot directly up your ass. Go in ahead and Picture That. #EAW #Dynasty."


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Dynasty Promo #1




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@PicPerfectMichaels: “Never have these words had so much meaning.  See over the past week, hell over the past year really, we as a nation have been divided over ideals, over our past, present, and most definitely our future.  Not that we haven’t been, but over the course of the past 12 + months, We’ve been divided seemingly more than ever, to the point of where it might tear us all apart for good! I’ve kept silent about these issues till now, mostly because I felt it was not my place to speak.  There have already been enough people who have either shouted for joy at the results of what happened last Tuesday, or have shouted in anger over the same result.  I wasn’t going to speak at all, until I found out that this week’s episode of Dynasty will take place in Louisville, Kentucky.  It was then That I recalled Kentucky’s state motto. That Perfect Motto of United we stand, Divide we fall. Why you might be asking?  Because it is a motto that I live my life by.

 
See I have said it before, and I will say it again, I am YOUR social media champion, and Every week I go out there and give my all to do each and every one of you proud!  I do my damnedest to represent each and every man, woman, and child that may  be watching Dynasty live in an arena, or catching the show as it airs on tv, or even reading a transcript of the show online, I go out there every week to entertain each and every one of you.  So this Friday night, whether you’ve voted red or blue, regardless of who you are, or where you’re from, or where you work, or where you pray, or who you love.  Whether it be sitting in the front row of the Freedom Arena, or your laying down on the couch, I am asking that you would all stand with me, because our unity is our greatest strength!
 
Together there is nothing we cannot accomplish!  We can move mountains together, we can part seas. And as long as we all stand as one, nothing, not even the darkest depths can ever hope to overcome us!  No, not even the pits of hell, are stronger than all of us combined.  That is why this Friday night I ask that you all stand with me when I go one on one with Hades.
 
Now I know a few people are out there saying ‘Mark there’s no way you could ever hope to stand against a foe like Hades.’  And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it would be easy to.  Hades is one of the strongest forces in EAW has ever known.  Just take a look at his resume (go ahead and look it up, I’ll wait) And it’s plain to see that Hades has earned every last bit of his reputation.  He’s won countless titles, and he’s been a nightmare that still haunts some elitist to this vary day.  SURRIVING against Hades is a hard enough challenge, let alone winning the actual match.  Make no mistake about it, I don’t dare underestimate Hades, but by the same token, Hades should not underestimate me.  He may have the strength and size, But he sure as hell can’t match me in determination.  The same determination that drove me since I was a kid to become a professional wrestler.  The same determination that has brought me to the biggest wrestling promotion in the world, Elite Answers Wrestling!  The same determination that has inspired me ask everyone, from every side of the spectrum, to let me prove myself as their Social Media Champion. 
 
Hades has done it all in this business, but he has never faced anyone who was more willing to walk to hell and back to get a win.  Friday night I’m asking Hades to bring his A-Game, because you know I’m bringing mine, and when the people of Louisville start cheering at the top of their lungs, and I’m talking feeling the ring shake from just how loud they’re gonna get, I am gonna be feeding off of every last one of them.  Soaking up every last ounce of energy they send my way, I know that they will give me all the strength I need to get my hand raised. 
 
And Hades if you happen to be reading this, just know that even though I respect you and everything you’ve accomplished here in EAW, this Friday night you are gonna see first hand just why so many people have gotten behind me on social media, turning me into a twitter trendsetter, and Instagram icon.  You get to know why so many people the #Hero when mentioning me.  It is because from bell to bell there is nobody who can go quite like Mark Michaels.  No one will ever take everything you have to dish out, and still be standing wanting to go quite like me.  No one will ever bring you to your absolute limit the way that I can.  And whether you believe me or not, no one will ever make you wonder, what is it that I have to do to actually put this guy away like me. 
 
So this Friday night, I want you to give me everything you got, because WE’LL be doing just that!  #Dynasty #EAW #ThisFriday #InDaBag #PictureTHAT
 
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Dynasty Promo #4



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Michaels: “I tell you , after a long day of training Akio Inoue (the greatest short term trainer I’ve ever met), there’s nothing better than sipping overpriced champagne, in an overpriced Suite at a five star hotel, while posting status updates via an overpriced smartphone.  It seem like the only thing I keep that isn’t exorbitantly priced is @DustinBrach’s mother.  You give her a dollar, and you can do whatever you want, wherever you want.  Is that personal enough Dustin?  Have you ever stopped to ask why I didn’t elaborate more on why I think you’re a total waste of space in this match?  It’s because much like rest of Dynasty’s audience, I can help but to get this irresistible urge to change the channel whenever I see that crime against humanity that you call a face.  But that was until I heard your little rambling press conference.  Now don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t give half a shit about what an uneducated, Michaels’ envy suffering, hater like you would have to say about me, or anyone else in this match, but at least you can respect that we’re are actually trying to accomplish something other than making a horse’s ass out of themselves.  But I have no respect for you Dustin.  You see I heard your foolish words regarding the New Breed Championship.  See it might just be some leather and gold fastened together to you, but to everyone who has more than two brain cells it represents so much more.  It represents a milestone, a first step if you will, on a path towards greatness (that thing that waved bye bye to you long ago) just think of all the great competitors who haveheld that title, and how it propelled them to even bigger and better things.   But there’s more than that,  you see when you disrespect a championship, you disrespect the company it belongs to.  And seeing as how EAW is the largest promotion of its kind you’ve essentially pissed all over the sport of professional wrestling.  And I will not stand for professional wrestling’s equivalent to a kid who ate worms in school, disrespecting this great sport! 
So congratulations pal, you got my attention.  And as reward you’re now my number one target in this match.  Me winning this one is just a shred more important than making sure as hell that you don’t.   So get ready, because at Rising Tide you get to see what’s so intimidating about the socialite that took men like Y2Impact, Ryan Savage, Mister DEDEDE, Tig Kelly, and Zack Crash to their absolute limit! 
 
And that goes for the rest of so called competition as well.
 
It goes for scrubs like Kevin Hunter, who are better suited for detailing my cars than stepping into the ring.  Tell me Kevin, what type of chance does a no talent, piece of white trash like you, stand against a superior athlete like myself?  What makes you think that riding around on a motorcycle with a bunch of other half-witted morons, makes you qualified to compete for a shot at the New Breed Championship in any way, shape or form?  Yes you can take a punch, but simply being able to have your ass handed to you wasn’t enough to beat that good for nothing prick Dustin Brasch, and it sure as hell will not be enough  when you stand against best EAW has to offer, ME!
 
And Warbeard, I would have called you losing your debut match a disappointment, but that would imply that I had any sort of expectations of you.  You proved last week that you’re nothing more than a giant oaf, who would be more respectable as a side show freak, than as a wrestler.  You’re pathetic Josh, plain and simple.  You have neat limitless strength, but you lack the tiniest sliver of talent to apply it in the ring.  You are one of the tallest, and heaviest competitors in the ring, But you’re so unskilled that all it adds up to is you being slow and clumsy.  That’s why you got your three hundred pound ass kicked!  And don’t expect this week to fare any better, because Live in the Tokyo Dome, in front of all my followers, you will get the privilege of seeing my in ring skill, up close and personal!
 
@DennisCaffrey why are you even bothering to show up?  We all know that you don’t have what it takes to win in this one.  Because This isn’t just another wrestling match.  There won’t be any chinlocks, armbars, or rear amateur take downs.  This is a war, and if you think that any of those ‘Collegiate level skills’ will save you, then you can bet your ass that you will be the first causality.  And even if you could somehow survive this match, how in their right mind would want to see a bland, dull, boring, individual who is avoid of any type of charisma, or personality,  like you compete for a championship?  Hell not even that old geezer grandfather of yours would want to see you wearing the New Breed Title around your waist. 
 
And to Keith Bathory , yes I know you’re following me, all my haters do ;-) , I would just like to say that you should probably try and get back together with you cousin, because he was always the more talented between the two of you.  Maybe if you get down on your hand and knees, grovel a little, and kiss his ass, he might just agree to carry your ass to watchable matches.  Or at the very least, make you look semi-credible when when you step into a wrestling ring.
 
Now I know there has some misinformed dunce out there who’s probably about to type up something about how Caine Kronin is going to kick ass, take names, raise hell, and walk out with his hand raised this Friday.  Now let me state for the record that while Caine has an intensity that few others possess, that intensity will only get you so far.  Yes you might have been able to psych out and overwhelm a single overmatched foe.  But let’s see how you do when you have nine men who’ve all placed a target on your back, because the true measure of greatness isn’t what you do when you’re the hunter, it what you do when you are the hunted!  And when you’re in a wrestling ring, I am the ultimate predator.  The top of the food chain, and if you just happen to be unfortunate enough to be in the ring with me Caine, I will devourer you (no homo)
 
@JunNobunaga could you do us all a big favor, and cut it out with this overly pretentious crap.  It’s starting to wear a bit thin.  Watching you wrestle isn’t art, it more like a child’s drawing that you put up on the refrigerator.  You know it’s as ugly as a dog’s ass, but you sit, and smile so as not to break the kid’s feelings.   That’s kinda how it is with you, a few well-meaning people said something along the lines of ‘oh my Jun, that’s such a good headlock, It’s so pretty.’  And you being too feeble minded to know better, took their words at face value.   Well at Rising Tide, you will be going toe to toe with a true Rembrandt of the ring.  A master of the squared circle, whose prowess in the ring, is matched by only by his amazing looks, incredible personality, and endless charisma!  And after I’m done with you, the world will rightfully cast you aside like those cheap, knock off paintings that starving artist sell out of a truck.
 
Which leaves me with two good for nothing, Michaels envy suffering, over hyped, under developed sacks of worm excrement.
 
@MarcusCreedMX-13 when will you ever learn that anything you could do, I can do better?  You can strike, well so can I.  You can grapple, well so can I.  Now granted, you can do it better than most, but at the end of the day, I will always do it better.  And you know that don’t you?  That’s why you’re not all over the place running your mouth about how you consider yourself to be supremacy, when all you are is a waste of the psychical gifts you possess.  That’s why you’re not trying to brag about any of your past accomplishments (not that you had any but still) and most of all, that is why you’re not trying to do something as idiotic as claim that you would ever stand a chance of beating me!  We’ll guess what, you’re absolutely right.  You aren’t even in my league.  I’ve battled it out with the biggest stars that EAW has, and you know what they will tell you?   That Mark Michaels is everything he claims to be!  So when I say that I can whip Marcus Creed’s ass all over the Tokyo Dome, with one arm tied behind my back, you better believe that I can, and will guaranteed!
 
@DonnyDiamond  I would say I was saving the best for last, but that would be a lie that no one who isn’t suffering from brain damage would ever believe.  You know something Don, I’ve talked a lot about how you’re too old, and washed up, and broken down, but I only say that because it’s true.  You’re not a wrestler, you’re a charity case that EAW can use as a tax write off.  I mean do you know how much better the hard working men and women of the ring crew would have it if we didn’t have to pay your salary of a two dollar cigar, and a go with Dustin’s mom?  That’s why I’ll make you a deal, you announce your retirement from professional wrestling before Friday, and I won’t have to dominate, and embarrass you.  Sound good Don?  Of course it does, so why don’t you just go ahead and make it official, before I have to go and plant my boot right up your asshole.  Again!
 
Now before any of you start with that “Mark Michaels is just an over privileged S.O.B. who can’t wrestle” garbage, first could you be any less original? I mean at this point that seems to be the only thing that anyone ever seems to say.   And you would think that after the ass whipping I laid on the last few guys who said that would serve as an example to all of you  haters in the locker room.  Second, You all should know by now, that my skills in the ring are unmatched by any other, not by Tig Kelly, not by Zack Crash, not by anybody.  In fact it is The same technical ability I showcase week after week,  that is the same one that has brought me a legion of followers.  It is the same never give up brand of toughness that I display in every single match, is the same one has led those followers elect me as their undisputed Social Media Champion.  They recognize me for how great I truly am.  They know that I am the Destiny of Dynasty, The Brightest Burning Star that EAW will ever know, the #Hero to millions upon millions of people from every corner of the globe.  And even if you haters can’t see it right in front of you,  the man who will win this Hell’s Warpath match, and go on to become the next EAW New Breed Champion!
And for your sakes, I hope you boys have prepared yourselves for the fight of your lives.  Because in just three days, Live on Dynasty, in front of a sold out crowd of my followers, in a match where there are no rules, in a match where young career’s will be shortened, and possibly ended, we are all going to Hell, So Picture That!  #Dynasty #HellsWarpath #InTheBag"
 
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Dynasty Promo #4


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"For those of you who don't know, Esse Quam Videri is the state motto of North Carolina.  And what a fitting motto it is, because this Friday night, we separate what is, from what seems to be.  See to a lot of my haters out there, BTW nice to see you checking out my profile ;-),  will tend to say things like; I can't wrestle, I'm not on their level, they beat off guys who were world champions yadda yadda yadda.  But the fact is whenever those bastards find enough balls to step in the ring with me, they get their asses kicked!  Don't believe me, just ask everyone who watched Dynasty two weeks ago.  They'll tell you that I'm not just some joker who strolled in off the street (that's Angelo Brando), and whats more, they'll tell you that I should rightfully be the National Elite Champion.  But for whatever reason, one hater in particular has just chosen to be blinded by his sudden, onset, case of Michaels envy, that he thinks that I'm just going to lay down and die after he sucker punches me.  Well guess what Zacky, I'm still standing.  Just like I was after dealing with Angelo, Regulator, Tig, and so many others.  I'm more than what I seem (I know, I thought it was impossible too) so just try to come at me bro!
 
But after I heard you ranting, and raving about me, with all that B.S. about how my status updates pointless, and my videos are crap, I know that you won't because it's become painfully clear; that you're a man who can only seem ,because he could never be.  You like to seem like a bad ass who ran thru the so called 'best that Dynasty had to offer', but make no mistake about it; if it wasn't for guys like Alex Anderson, or those dozen idiots in BDSM gear who used to follow you around, you would've been jockeying a register at McDonald's where you belong (I mean all that grease in your hair just makes me think deep fryer).   After hearing This whole pot and kettle routine of yours, I guess 'Jackass of the week' just wasn't enough for you huh? Well then I 'm sure you'll be pleased to know, that you're already  nominated for 'biggest jackass of 2016'.
 
 
You have no respect for me huh?  Well that's fine because no one could give two shits about what you think.  You say I'm nothing more than a clown, well I say you're nothing more than a joke that goes; who has two thumbs and is going to get Mark Michaels' boot rammed up his ass?  Zack Crash!  Oh and about wanting to make out with me, I don't usually kiss jackasses, but if you take a number, and get in line, then you can go right ahead and kiss my ass! Now I will give you one thing, I do think Dynasty would be better off being called the Mark Michaels show, but that's a discussion better left for the people who actually have the power to do so (in other words, not you).
 
 
Live on Dynasty, you are in store for an A-list ass whipping, the likes of which you will never forget.  Courtesy of The Instagram Icon, The Twitter Trendsetter, the #Hero whose millions, upon millions of followers are going to be tweeting pics of you staring up at the lights for days.  Hell Zack, you might even get turned into a MEME and become slightly relevant in EAW again. 
 

It all goes down in 48 hours (kinda like your mom), live at the Time Warner cable arena, I prove just why I am the Brightest burning star that EAW will ever know, I prove that I am the Perfect Athlete, and Entertainer rolled into one, and most of all, I will once again prove that no matter how hard you hate, no matter who you've beaten, or how much of bad ass you pretend to be, there's is no such thing as better than Perfect, and that my friend is real! So you better start Picturing That Zacky."  #Dynasty #EAW #BurningCrash #InTheBag

PicPerfectMichaels posted an image:



Not Sweating @Jaden Zaxaria one bit #Dynasty #Friday #JustWin


Later That Day...




We open on the swimming pool of the Royal Palms Hotel and Spa, an up-tempo Jazz tune (which must have come from the Best of elevator Muzac vol. 3) plays in the background.  it's a very busy day out by the pool as almost all the hotel's patrons decide a swim is the best way to beat the intense, dry, Arizona heat.  The camera pans across the lounge chair area where several beautiful women are laying down, having deciding to catch a tan instead.  The Camera continues to pan over to a buxom blonde in a one piece bikini (Which perfectly shows off her best curves) using the side ladder to exit the pool.  After a quick dry off, the camera follows her until she walk past an umbrella shaded table.  The Muzack is replaced with the opening bass line to Iggy Azalea's "Fancy".  Sitting down at the table is Mark Michaels (Dressed not too differently from the picture at the top) sipping a frozen cocktail (Complete with mini umbrella), the beautiful blonde doesn't happen to notice Michaels checking out her ass as she walks by.

Michaels: "Ahhh.... this is just the thing to help a man relax after a long day of  publicity photos, and press interviews.  Yep nothing beats this, just like Jaden Can't beat me.  You know something Jayzer Word is getting around that your not too happy with me.  I mean I understand, after all the only fan you had in the entire world, would rather come get my autograph.  But still that's no reason to bee gulping down the Hater-Aid the way you have.  I mean you talk about the small group of left overs after I spent all day signing autographs, and posing for selfies with people who aren't being considered the missing link.  I mean considering that we're, oh excuse me I meant I... I'm the one out here getting everybody pumped up about Dynasty this Friday.  Considering that I am in the same hell hole of a sate that produced a moron like Vance Tybull, elected John McCain to the senate, and is currently the home of the Cardinals, The Diamond backs, and the Suns, I'm surprised more idiots didn't have to be tossed out on their asses. 

And let's get something clear right now, I didn't want to become the Step-Father to some snot nose, pip squeak brat, but I was making his mother call me daddy all night long if you catch my drift.  Oh yeah see that the real difference between guys like you, and me.  You dress like a DJ, but you're nothing more than the Valet driver's errand boy, While I step right in to the VIP.  You look to find a great party, I am the party.  That's because I am the Marque attraction, I am the must see event of the week, and just like you said I am a leader, because everyone wants to follow me, Whether it's on social media, or it's in the locker room.  They want to follow me because I am the absolute picture of perfection, you on the other hand need to whore out a few front row seats just so that you can think someone will give a damn about you during our match.  Those seats could have helped build Dynasty up a little more.  My followers are willing to pay top dollar when they know I'm on the card.  Instead you gave them away to some ungrateful, nobody and his loser friends. 

Does your petty jealousy know no bounds Jaden?  Are you really that desperate to try and get under my skin before our match, that you'll tear down the entire brand?  You know the same one that didn't need you last week, and sure as hell doesn't need you now.  I guess it must be if you would stoop so low.  You call yourself a man of the people, but yet you try to rob them of what they want to see, ME.  You want to say that I'm nothing but a joke?  Well he who laughs last laughs best bitch.  You say That I' m gonna go out and fall flat on my ass?  I don't think so, Because last week I single handedly dealt with both Trent Yoder and his Gilligan like side kick A-will.  Do you know what the definition of insanity is Jaden?  It's ding the same thing repeatedly, and expecting a different result.  Last week I said I would beat Trent Yoder, and I did.  This week I'm saying I'm going to beat you Jaden, and after I'm done you'll have to crawl back to your "Life Partner" and drown your tears in a bowl of lucky charms, you Irish son of a bitch.

Whether you like it or not, it's no bullshit when I tell you that this match is already Hashtag in the bag.  So if I was you, I'd see if any of Ryan's buddies would be willing to give me his seat, just so that I wouldn't have to be beaten as, as well as embarrassed. Bring your best Jaden, it won't matter if you do, but at least you can say you fought like a man.  This Friday, I expose you for the poser you are, and I show you exactly the type of man I am, so Jaden Picture THAT!"

A waiter comes by and picks Michaels drink up off the table, and leaves a check in its place. Michaels signs the bill to his room.

Michaels: "Finally, the service here is god awful.  Oh and no tip, maybe next time you'll stop dicking around in the back with the rest of the help."

With that Michaels rises out of his seat and out of the shot

FADE TO BLACK

@PicPerfectMichaels Posts: 

                    Good win for @JJSilva, @A-Will & @MaxDachs #Pain4Pride #Dynasty



@PicPerfecMichaels Posts:

               @VanceTybull Stole one IMO #Dynasty



@PicperfectMichaels Posts:
             
             @TarahNova Don't worry, you got it in the bag at PFP. All the other Vixens are just hating because you look almost as good as I do.



@PicPerfectMichaels Posts:

                Calling it now @Alexanderson is my pick for the new World Champion at PFP



@paicPefectMichaels Posts:




  Watching Dynasty Has me pumped for my debut #Later