.:EMPIRE:.


I’ve never felt so disrespected in my life.
 
Let’s try something out. We all have our different perspectives but let’s put that aside. Clear your mind. Let your brain rest for a second. Stop what you’re doing and sit down. Relax. Breathe in and out in a slow, constructive manner. Is your mind clear? Are you thinking of nothing? Good. Envision yourself as a successful, talented version of yourself. You got the image in your head? Imagine yourself being able to do what you want when you want. You see that nice 53’’ curved screen tv you’ve always want it? Get it. Or that foreign car you’ve been eying? Buy it. You see that look you get when you walk into a room? You get side eyes but you also get admirers; hoping for a word with you. Because your word is valuable. Your words are worth millions! But we’re only pretending, don’t forget that.
 
You’ve worked your entire life in order to live in the lavish setting you reside in now. You’re respected, honored and admired. But now try to imagine this; you’re the top player of your profession. You’re the one everyone goes to for advice and tips in order for them to be as successful as you. But then, out of nowhere, you’re forced to work with someone who is obviously much more below you. Someone who wouldn’t dare to stand in the same room with you because they’re simply not worthy. What would you do if you were forced to work with this person? Forced to work as a cohesive unit even though you wouldn’t dare to touch the same cup they’ve been drinking out of? What do you do in a situation like this?
 
You’d try your best to get out of it, right? You’d try your very best to completely call of the entire thing because you wouldn’t risk the chance of getting infected with their cowardly aura that always lingers within them. So now that you know where I’m coming from, now that you know how my brain is wired and how my thinking process works; why on earth does anyone think that I’m going to go to this match with open fucking arms? Empire has done many bad things to me. Empire was created in order to better the Vixens division but all I’ve seen is the same people given shot after shot after shot EVEN THOUGH THEY CONTINOUSLY FAIL ATTEMPT AFTER ATTEMPT. Cleopatra, you’re a fucking moron and I hope you never forget it. As for this tag team match, I’m not even going to sweat it. This match is something that NEEDS TO BE CANCELLED, IMMEDIATELY! Who came up with the brilliant idea to have all of the Specialist chamber participants be put into one match? And better yet, have ARIA JAXON AS MY PARTNER? This is fucking ridiculous that I can’t even wrap my head around it. I shouldn’t have to lower myself in order to help the face of the lower class citizens. I understand that ever since Aria lost her title to HBG at Pain for Pride, she’s been a bit lackluster. We get it! We all know that Aria needs a little push here and there because as of late, she hasn’t brought it. She doesn’t have that same glimmer in her eye that she had when she first started out with the company. What happened, Aria? Did going against all of those mentally ill jobbers on Voltage rub off on you, too? Because all that I’ve seen as of late is you losing in an incredibly pathetic manner. You’ve fallen on your face one too many times and that is a MAJOR reason why I’m infuriated. Everyone looks at you as someone who they can relate to. You’re a household name but damn, if only people had the balls to rub all of that bullshit from their eyes and realize that you’re nothing but a phony. How terrible that I’m wasting so much of my time on someone who is supposed to have my back in our match.
This entire match is a complete disaster waiting to happen. Brody Sparks and Madison Kaline? I understand that the Sanatorium was Team OG at Shock Value, and I must admit – Stephanie Matsuda was a great asset but those ties have been cut completely. I used whatever bit of the Sanatorium I could get my hands on and used them to my advantage. It’s a reason why I’m still here alive and kicking and not brain dead like Cloudy over there. Maddie, Brody, we can be friends all you want but I hope you realize that all alliances are completely decimated in that chamber. We all want one thing, and that one thing is STAYING with me until my last breath. I refuse to let my title, my precious, PRESTIGOUS title be in the hands of complete mongrels. I’ve worked so hard, so incredibly hard to keep this title relevant, and I won’t let my hard work go to waste. What will Aria Jaxon do with the Specialist title? Do nothing, obviously, since this flip flopper isn’t even loyal to Empire. She doesn’t receive the male attention she desperately craves so she hops on the nearest dick. I’m so appalled. I’m so disgusted.
 

I don’t have to put up with this mediocre planning. I don’t need to put up with Cleopatra’s mediocre ways as general manager. I’m getting to my reaching point. I’m genuinely on the verge of leaving this place altogether because the stupidity of some is too much to handle at times. I remind myself at times that I don’t NEED to deal with this. This is a choice, but then I look at my title. At the title that I helped legitimize throughout my stay in EAW. I look at my title and I see a new glimpse of hope. A hope that will forever be enough motivation and be enough for me to continue with my dominance in this place. I’ll play nice, Aria and I’ll do whatever it takes in order for us to come out as winners, but don’t be fooled. The moment I get the opportunity to take you the fuck out I will take. There are no friends, there are no alliances. To each their own.

 
[The video begins with footage of a crowded French Quarter night in New Orleans. Tourists, musicians, hustlers and even strippers fill the streets as April walks along dressed in a pair of black combat boots, jeans, a black top and trench coat. She finds her way into an establishment called the “Hornet’s Nest”, a seedy bar. She is instantly recognized by the bouncers and escorted to a VIP booth in the dark recesses of the booth. There a balding, obese man dressed in a white suit is shown drinking with a group of women, all of them giggling as if he was telling the greatest joke in the world. The appearance of April brings them all to silence.]


The Man: Alice….my good friend! How are you this evening, sweetheart! Tonight is a beautiful night! EVERY night that you come and visit us is a wonderful night! Please, come and sit at the booth with us! We have much to celebrate.

April: My name isn’t Alice. You know that.

The Man: Of course, of course, April! I know who you are! The Killer Bee. Winner of over 40 aerial encounters as a member of the United States Air Force! Feared in the mercenary world for her savagery! One of the most reliable people on the planet regardless of the mission put in front of them! One of the most beautiful yet dangerous women in the world! A woman who-

April: Why did you call me here? I flew out and did the observation of that wrestling event like you asked. I even agreed to take part in it starting next week. Do you mind explaining exactly what is going on, sir?

The Man: Sure. I don’t think you have been notified of all the details anyway. We have a few things to discuss.

[The Man goes silent for a while, the bevy of beauties around the table looking at each other confused before he scoffs in irritation.]


The Man: Goodbye ladies. For now, anyway. Cecilia, be a dear and tell Vito to keep watch at the door of the VIP section, will you? I would rather this conversation stay uninterrupted.

[One by one each of the women in their expensive dresses and overdone makeup depart, leaving the VIP area empty except for the Man and April, who immediately sits down and grabs a half-empty bottle of wine, taking a swig of it.]


The Man: Your manners need improving.

April: The quality of the whores you surround yourself with need improving too. I don’t judge you, do I?
The Man: Hmph. Okay. I called you here because there are some things that you need to know about your mission. For starters, it’s no longer a case of something that can be done on a per-week or per-appearance basis. Our client’s needs are so dire at this point that they want you to sign a full EAW contract now.

April: A full EAW contract? Look, listen, I’m not a pro wrestler. I’m not somebody who can just up and leave my post to chase after a bunch of meatheads who scream into microphones and smoke pot. This mercenary thing is how I make money.

The Man: Oh, bullshit. We both know between your retirement package from the Air Force, the Blackwater money and the side jobs I’ve had you doing lately you’re pretty fucking well off. You’re not doing anything steady and you know it. You can take this on and once you see the check that our client is dishing out for you to do it I think you’ll be fine with it.

[The Man slides April a check, made out to her. The slip of paper itself can’t be seen in the video, only April’s reaction to seeing it: her eyes opening a bit wide before letting out a low whistle.]


The Man: That’s a lot of money, isn’t it? And that’s not even including your official EAW contract wages. Think of it as a rather large signing bonus, huh?

April: I guess.

The Man: If you choose to accept that, you accept the contract and the terms of the mission that our client wants carried out during your stay in the company. We can get you in the door. We can pay for your travel and all that rubbish, put you up in hotels, get you whatever training or gear you need. As far as actually doing the job though, you’re on your own.

[April is slid a large manila folder which she opens and looks over.]


April: There are five objectives here that it seems are to be carried out:

1.       The complete pacification of the EAW Vixens Division.
2.       Purge Empire of all cliques and gangs.
3.       The retrieval of any properties that are asked of by the client.
4.       “Specific targeting” of individuals deemed hazardous to the sustainability of EAW.
5.       The protection of individuals deemed necessary for the continued growth of EAW.
 
April: This is confusing to me. Why would you not just hire basic security to sort some of this out? What is one person going to do planted into a locker room?

The Man: That’s not my concern of why it’s going to be done. I was told to pick the best woman I thought suitable for the job and Your name was the first, last and only choice. The people who are putting this together are paying me a lot of money to get this done and I’m in turn going to be paying you a lot of money. And besides (chuckles) after some of the shit you’ve been through in the field this should be like taking lunch from nerds in high school.

[April looks over more of the documents while taking another swig from the bottle of wine.]


The Man: You really need to cut back on the drinking, love. And there are some of the EAW portions of your contract. You’ll appear in whatever capacity they’ll have you. That means television, live events, interviews, media appearances, photo shoots.

[The words “photo shoots” cause April to look up, giving the man a vicious death glare.]


The Man: Hey, it’s part of the gig. Everyone does it for the roster. I’m sure you’ll do some tasteful work. Look, it would be pretty damn hard for me to find a replacement and you’re ALREADY booked once. Why don’t you take this assignment on, huh? You may like it.

[April looks at both the contract and check made out to her and gives the situation a little more thought. After long sigh, she takes the check and signs the contract.]


The Man: I knew you’d eventually see the light. I have something for you to look at. Information about your first two opponents.

April: Opponents?

The Man: Yeah. This isn’t a one-on-one encounter. You’re going to be facing off against two people.

[With a snap of the man’s fingers, a small TV monitor descends from the upper recesses of the building down far enough so that April can see it. In the first video clip, Autumn Raven is shown participating in some of the bloodiest, most dangerous matches in recent EAW history.]


The Man: THAT is Autumn Raven, the Beautiful Psychopath. She is a very dangerous woman. The wrestling nerds that work here pretty much have confirmed that she is a legitimate psychopath. We don’t know if she has a background in any other style of fighting but she is still to be considered very dangerous.

April: She doesn’t look like she’s one for making new friends, either.

The Man: (Chuckles) Believe it or not she has a tag team partner these days. My wrestling nerd intelligence seems to think that she’s overlooking this match and is focusing more on the preparation for a tag team tournament that is continuing. You may be able to catch her off guard.

April: Fighting psychotic people isn’t scary. What’s concerning to me is fighting someone truly resigned to inflict injury upon you that would do it at any expense to themselves. It’s like going against a soldier making a last stand. If the battle is already lost, why take chances? If I could pick my spot, it would be someone at least a little more rational. Those are much easier to put down.

[The Man chuckles a bit as he watches the clip of Autumn suddenly be replaced with one of April’s other opponent, a blonde Frenchwoman doing MMA training in what appeared to be a gym in Paris. April rolls her eyes in disgust as he leers over the woman’s body.]


The Man: And this little number is the lovely Amelie Larrieux. She’s a talented athlete. Used to play soccer in her native France before taking up MMA and wrestling. Known to have a bit of a temper too. I don’t know why such a lovely girl isn’t a model, honestly. Such a shame to possibly see something that pretty be injured in a wrestling match...

April: I see you haven’t ceased your drooling over women, either. She’s new to this wrestling herself and still has better training in the ring than I have. Not that I can’t defend myself but…well, there is a story that a fellow combat instructor told me once. He was in a gym training MMA fighters on the self-defense style that American military use. The one guy who was a jujitsu expert took him down and was trying to put him in a hold that required use of both hands. Effective in a jujitsu competition and viable, but extremely dangerous in a life-or-death situation. In a bit of disgust the instructor took his finger and did a slashing gesture across the man’s throat. The man is confused and the instructor simply says: “If this were a REAL fight you’d be dead.”

The Man: Humph. You don’t seem that impressed with MMA so I can only imagine what your view of professional wrestling is at the moment. You think it’s all performance art, don’t you? Some sort of game for bad actors and mediocre athletes? You may need to unhinge that attitude of yours and do a little research on your new, albeit temporary, occupation. You may be surprised. You might like it. I think it’s a good outlet for your skillset. Though they may want to reconsider putting you in front of a camera.

[April looks over, clearly annoyed.]


The Man: What? It’s not like you are known for your words. You’re known for putting people down fast and hard.

[Without saying a word, April picks up the check and folder of documents before glancing at the bottle of wine, assessing if she should take it.]


April: Nah. It’s cheap. Tasty and decent, but still cheap. I have some Kaoliang at my hotel room anyway. So, do I report to you or someone else for this? How are we doing this?

The Man: You’ll hear from me every occasionally. Considering who the client is, I’m sure they’ll make their presence known whenever they have something special for you to carry out. And I know a few guys who can get you up to speed on pro wrestling. Make sure you’re aware of the ins and outs and such. Pro wrestling locker rooms are peculiar places with rules that seem strange to us but are essential for your mission.

April: (Turning to walk away) You’ll hear from me when I make it to Atlanta. I’ve got a lot of work to do to get ready for this.
 
And so…. I took on one of the most ridiculous and far-reaching jobs that I’ve had in a while. I’m not someone who could be considered an athlete or a fighter. All my life I was a student, then a pilot, then a mercenary. There is so much I don’t know about this mission. Who am I working for? Why do they want the objectives given to me accomplished? What is their role in EAW’s power structure anyway? Why bring in a non-wrestler to try to clean up a wrestling organization? The more I think about this, the more it makes my brain hurt. None of it makes any sense.


Still, the allure is strong. I have money, but being paid handsomely for a job that doesn’t involve killing someone or potentially being killed myself is refreshing and relaxing. I don’t expect wrestling to not be physically demanding or mentally draining, but compared to my past life it’s almost got recreational qualities to it. I’m not looking forward to the interviews and interactions with fans. I don’t like unnecessary conversation and I admittedly have not thought very highly of pro wrestling fans just from the rare instances I’ve bumped into them. But the chance to travel and participate in something so different than what I’m accustomed to is…. interesting.



The journey will be long and the task seems like a daunting one, but I’ve not met an objective that I can’t complete. I will complete my mission. No matter what the cost.

 

(The scene starts with that annoying interviewer walking backstage with a camera guy. He sees David is sitting in The R.A.D. Betting Office, which again is just a door and no walls. So he's sitting in the office, just playing a game on his phone.)

Interviewer: There he is. There's my best friend! 

(The interviewer knocks on the door)

David: Come in! 

(The interviewer opens the door and the camera captures David sitting at the table with a blanket on and drinking some hot chocolate. He looks to be down in the dumps. He doesn't even make eye contact with the interviewer. Which is probably for the best because he doesn't deserve respect. He's an awful person.)

Interviewer: What the? Where did that blanket come from? Is that hot chocolate? Did you make that in like two seconds?

David: Shhhhhhhhh! Stop! You're doing that thing again. That thing you're not good at. 

Interviewer: Which is?

David: Well, everything really. But more so the whole talking thing. It's not meant for you. Let it go..

Interviewer: But David  

David: One sec. 

(David gets his phone out again and plays a song on full blast like that old dude in that one annoying Sprint commercial where he dives into a pool. David’s song choice is “Heart of Courage” because it's so motivating, you know? Yeah you know.)

Interviewer: What is going on? 

(David finally makes eye contact with the interviewer. David is acting all dramatic.)

David: I know what you want, Mr. Interviewer. I know the answers you seek! You want my thoughts on my match from last week, yes? 

(David turns and acts as if he's staring out a window, but there isn't one because the office doesn't have walls. He takes a deep sigh.)

David: I'm not a bad guy, you know? 

(David takes a loud sip of hot chocolate before continuing)

David: I'm a good person. I help the elderly cross the street. I tell kids to stay in school…and I park in handicap spots because handicap people deserve to be treated like everybody else. They are human too! Yet, even with all those good deeds and thousands of hours of volunteer work, I still feel horrible. You see interviewer dude, when Jack and I returned to EAW, we thought we were doing the right thing. Actually no, we ARE doing the right thing. Let me put it like this.. when I look at the Showdown roster, I see determined individuals. I see men that have worked their tails off for years, perhaps even decades for some, to get to where they are now. I can respect that. They achieved their dream, after all. And most of these men have solidified themselves. They have built these strong reputations..not by overnight, but through consistency and longevity, by placing one brick at a time! And it's fair to say that the “top dawgs” of Showdown..yeah interviewer, that's dawg, not d-o-g because I use cool lingo! But as I was saying, the top guys have even created empires with all of those bricks. So again, let me reiterate that they worked hard for that. All the blood, sweat and tears that leaked from their bodies was worth it. But, oh yes there is always a but — they did all that stuff without The High Rollerz breathing down their necks. I know what I'm about to say has been said, or at least thought of, from just about every newcomer looking to make a name for themselves and that is we are going to change Showdown. First we’ll start out by dominating the tag team scene like no team has ever done before. We will then capture the EAW Tag Team championships when the opportunity comes. An opportunity we will force, by the way because we aren't just going to sit on our hands and bite our tongues and hope we get rewarded for our good behavior! We don't need luck to win them either, or a tournament to prove we are the best. So what I'm getting at is its not a question of if The High Rollerz become the EAW Tag Team Champions, but WHEN!!! So once we get those around our waists, we will have them in our possession until we retire. I mean, that goes without saying. And yeah, you can expect some singles success as well. You got all of that? Good because I want to go back to the first thing I said and that is I'm not a bad person, neither is Jack. I want to make that perfectly clear because what you’re going to see from us every week will make us look bad. We will stomp on and over your favorite elitists. We will break them. We will permanently damage their reputations. Yes, the reputations they worked so hard for. And well, we’ll replace them. We are the new shiny toys. The rest of you will just collect dust and do nothing. Which is fine because The High Rollerz has it from here. 

(David looks back at the table and turns the song off)

David: Not bad, huh? I still got it. 

Interviewer: Yes David, that was art! Art in its purest form! Now Davey—

David: No! You don't get to call me that. 

Interviewer: Ok . I guess I was just pressing my luck. But as I was going to say, I wanted to ask you about your opponent for this week, Ryan Marx, but I want to ask about last week first. What are your thoughts on your performance against Nobi and Cody Marshall? 

David: We won, yes? 

Interviewer: Ye-yes. 

David: Then I am pleased. 

Interviewer: Oh, ok that makes sense I guess. Now, like I said before, you face Ryan Marx in a handicap match. That's right, The High Rollerz vs. Ryan Marx! Oh and Rex McAllister will be out there on commentary. 

David: Yep. 

Interviewer: That's it? Yep?

David: Ummm you never asked me a question. You just made a statement. A statement I already knew. 

Interviewer: Ok so what are your thoughts on all I said? 

David: Your questions just keep getting better and better! So creative as well! Look, let's state the facts. At Road to Redemption, it will be Rex defending his New Breed Championship against Ryan. They don't like each other. Imagine that? Some pretty crazy stuff. And I guess this week, Rex gets to punish Ryan by forcing him to compete against Jack and myself. That's not a punishment.  That's a murder waiting to happen! Rex is a sick and twisted son of a bitch, that’s for sure! But I heard what our opponent had to say and he's shrugging us off because he doesn't know who we are or what we are capable of doing because if he did, we would've seen a stream of liquid traveling down his leg. While Rex on the other hand, he clearly did his homework, bravo! This means you should be able to easily outsmart Ryan at RTR..which is something that wouldn't have been difficult in the first place. Now Ryan, I hope you are listening to me closely right now and not doing something pointless again, like playing with that coin. That was very odd. Kind of sad as well because I'm guessing you don't have any friends. It reminded me of some TV show where a prisoner played with a cockroach to pass time. I feel like you would get along with a cockroach. Since you have similar personalities and well, because nobody likes you and everybody wants you gone. Match made in heaven! Agree with me interviewer. 

Interviewer: Yes David, you are right. 

David: Yet, with everything I just said, I kind of respect you, Ryan. Actually, let me clarify. I respect your bravery, not you as a person or as an elitist. As of now, you are going to go through with it. You actually plan on showing up for our match on Showdown. Bravo Ryan, bravo! But I mean, you don't really have a choice, that is unless you want to lose that New Breed title shot. A match you might not even be healthy enough for after this Saturday. I don't mean that as a threat by the way, I'm just reminding you of something called reality. Like I briefly mentioned before, you don't know who we are. That much is clear because you actually believe that we aren't a threat. And perhaps if that line came out of Ares Vendetta’s mouth, or someone that actually accomplished something noteworthy here, I would say fair enough. But from Ryan Marx? I laugh! I laugh not with you, but at you because you kind of remind me of Nobi. Don't get me wrong, I'm not comparing your skill levels, but your mindsets. You both see yourselves as measuring sticks. You both believe you are immune to fear. Especially you Ryan because correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you the dude that can't distinguish pain from pleasure? Damn, my apologies to your past lovers. All zero of them. 

David: And yeah, I agree with Jack when he called you uninteresting, because well, you are. It's a fact you need to accept. Welcome it with open arms! Embrace your true self! I just find it funny how that comment “insulted you more than anything.” Why were you so insulted by it, if you don't think it's true? Huh? You're this captivating philosopher right?! Nah, you're as much of a philosopher as Marshawn Lynch was when he went on Conan and said, “it do what it do.” Look at me Ryan! Deep down I think know that you'll soon be lost! Lost in shuffle! After your soon to be failed attempt to win the New Breed Championship at RTR..down the ladder you go. Then you will be forgotten about and you'll voice your frustration, similar to that Nick Angel fellow but all that talk will fall on deaf ears. I'm not just saying this to get under your skin by the way. It's an observation I made. You can return the favor and say The High Rollerz won't amount to anything! Do it, I won't try and stop you because when that time comes, I won't be all worked up because your opinion on The High Rollerz doesn't matter to me. It doesn't carry any weight. Quick, somebody give me a stamp so I can press the word invalid on Ryan’s head. I also find it cute when you talk about what we do with our time outside of the ring. Talking about our gambling habits! I'd talk about your interests and hobbies as well, but I don’t care enough to ask. So yeah, Jack and I gamble, you got us! But everything you said about gambling was nothing more than stereotypical BS. It's an addiction, David! Nah it's more of a passion! An art! Because when you hear the words “gambling addiction”, you assume the worst. You assume that person is on the verge of losing his life savings, his house, his car, his family — EVERYTHING! Like I said, just stereotypes. But unlike those people, we actually know what we are doing. We play the game. We play the cards we are dealt. We don't press our luck. We don't get hammered and place all of our chips on five red, while playing roulette. Everything we do is done with precision..just like the beating you'll get come this Saturday. You know what, Ryan? I don't like you. But I did like that last line of yours! Talking about how you don't care about facing two opponents because you are used to facing the entire world! Good, because Jack and I? We are the world. THIS IS OUR WORRRRLD!!! And you are lucky enough to be living in it. Yeah man, you’re welcome, don't mention it! Now, Mr. Interviewer and cameraman, you must leave. I have more important matters to attend to. 

Interviewer: Like?

David: Like putting more marshmallows in my hot chocolate. Now leave! 

(The interviewer and cameraman leave, which causes the scene to fade to black.)

Hahahaha, who didn’t see this coming?

Another time where all of a sudden more people are attempted to be shoehorned into my opportunities, we all know I one of the people, if not the lone period, to pin the world champ one on one on Showdown should have gotten a singles title match, just like I the original thief of the CITV briefcase should be facing Lioncross in singles action. Apparently, Lannister long away from the days he was a hitman, is no longer even trusted to play spoiler and now Nick Angel is being employed to brutally beat me “to a pulp” so that he can make sure I don’t walk out with the key to the vault that holds the greatest prize in this industry.

A prize that isn’t just gold, but so too the ability to shape this industry in one’s image and change the atmosphere we have been suffocating in for so long!

Damien is a stale corporate goon, all he wants is to perpetually pump out the same rebranded product year after year! He made ties with the Vendetta family long ago, and now he just wants one Vendetta on top after the other to keep up the status quo, so the boat is never rocked in these still waters!

What Damien doesn’t understand is that the reason he so badly wants to make sure I’m never world champion, is the same reason he can’t stop me! I am the ingenuity of every artist, restrictions breed creativity! Don’t fund this project because it’s too risqué, I don’t need your tools, the underground and my endless effort in doing right by this art form will have my name echoed throughout the world with the toils of working with this passion alone! I am the life force that wakes every sleeping city that Showdown goes to when the people come to see me perform my next stunt and do the unthinkable in that ring!

So who is Nick Angel? Sure he plays the part disgruntled, but that’s no different than all the average everyday blue collar workers who go into their jobs that each of them hates, doing anything for a boss who controls their fates! Nick is wrestling’s tax collector, sent door to door to punish those who do not appease the masters, the type to be there to make the starving artist be evicted. I’m sure Nick has caused his good share of suffering, and thinks himself something special because of it, but that only goes so far. Nick will never be Damien’s favourite lap boy, but he is compelled to get down on his knees enough to be a good beggar to have around to pick out from the crowd when Damien needs a dirty job to be done. Nick hasn’t ever been of much interest otherwise, most have probably forgotten he even works here until he comes right before their eyes as a nuisance.

Now Nick I know you gave up on trying to make the point of where Ground Zero is long ago, a sad example of how you can’t even copy the epicenters and eyes of the storms in this world despite it being what you now claim to do, but the center stage is going to be BROUGHT to you! So please at least try to live up to that moniker of yours that no one else would be proud of, be the “copycat extremist” that follows everything that I do, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll keep up long enough doing monkey see monkey do for this match to be entertaining. But get one thing straight boo, you’ll never know how it is to truly shine authentically like I do! Did these lame tracks like the one you come out to convince you that you could be somebody? Have a place in the minds of everyone? I have four words to prove that concept shoddy. Angels are no fun! Apparently even the fallen ones, taking a death defying dive down isn’t that captivating when the platform was only a two-inch high off the ground Holy Brigade. I’ll show you where the true heavens lie, where pleasure is found and given. But I won’t let you through the gates, I’ll only give you a glimpse to observe it being reached as I put on a show and achieve another victory.  Yes you’ll see……

Pleasure for me, and the world at large.

Showdown Promo # 1 
"The Beating Reality"


You made your bed, and now you will die on it.

Your day of reckoning is coming soon, Philosopher.

In less than two weeks time Ryan Marx is gonna find out the hard way that there is a price to pay when trying to make a name for himself. In less than two weeks time Ryan Marx is going to find out just how much longer the road he is on goes, the one that leads to the promised land. In less than two weeks time Ryan Marx will find out what many others have found out when they've tried to knock this elitist off course, tried to keep this Elitist down. He's going to find out first hand one on one why this elitist keeps on bouncing back bigger better and stronger each and every time he suffers a setback. Ryan Marx has been trying to make a name for himself, trying to add further relevance to his name, and he's been using me as an example. Ryan doesn't believe I am deserving of everything that I have EARNED. Ryan doesn't seem to understand that it's personal actions that always supersedes personal entitlement when being more deserving. Ryan wanted my attention, and now he's got it. Ryan Marx won't be able to handle what is in store for him come Road To Redemption. Ryan Marx will not be able to change anything that fate has in store for him on December 17th. Ryan may want the title, but I want his blood. I want his crimson mask to stain that ring, and if he's been there before he's about to be reminded then what it was like. What it was like to feel vulnerable, with nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide. Soon, Marx, your ass will belong to Rex McAllister, mark my words.

Speaking of using others as examples, along with fate, and unbridled calamity, there's Nico Borg, and this beat the clock challenge. First off, I'm not thinking about the challenge itself that means more for Nico than it does for me. I'm sure Devan Dubian could care less where he ends up in the end, He's been the Answers World Champion going into the chamber before, and he's entered the match at any random number before. None of this is new to him, but you, Nico, ARE new to all this. So I would expect you don't have that same frame of thinking. No, no. See, your mindset likely is that of someone who would prefer to enter toward middle or even last to increase your chances of winning the Answers World Championship. It's not exactly rocket science. The later you enter a match the better. That's not my endgame here this week though. It's not necessarily to keep you from beating the clock, because you won't. It’s keeping YOU from beating ME. It's about setting an example and sending a message loud and clear to Ryan Marx going into that Road To Redemption FPV, which is just what I intend to do. He needs to be taught a new philosophy or two more when it comes to testing himself against much hungrier Elitists. You may want to send a message of your own, Nico, and that's fine, you can try. We’ll both have another nice little back and forth battle then, where nothing is given and everything is earned. You had it easy when you got booked against the remarkably inconsistent Lioncross last week, but your fortunes change this week. That Chamber match is gonna change you, Nico. It's going to change you in a couple of different ways, for better or for worse. You see, with Pizza Boy and Tyler Parker you know it's going to be a back and forth match. The same goes for Ares and HRDO. Those matches could go a while, and then again they may not, but the difference between those matches and ours is the fact neither of those men have ever fought each other before. This will be your second time in the same ring with me head to head, and fourth time overall. There is a possibility that you could pull out a surprise or two in our match, but we are too familiar with each other in the ring at this point that it's nearly impossible to rely on the element of surprise to try and aid you in getting the best time. Every time we've matched up with each other it's been pretty close, almost too close to call, but nonetheless you were the one who came out on top. The x-factor will be Devan Dubian of course. He likely will decide all of this, and to say that I am alright with another man sticking their nose in my business when it comes to that ring once again would be a downright lie. So hopefully Devan has that kind of respect for what I can do in the ring against anybody to let me get the job done ON MY OWN.

Nico, starting out in the chamber instead of in the pod, you never know, it could be a blessing in disguise. Whether or not you can beat me you already know our match will go the longest. You know you won't just be able to put me away nearly as easy as Lioncross, or a JJ Silva, or anybody else that has done battle with you lately. We're like each other's yin and yang, but don't worry, Nico. I know that's not really the case because neither one of us actually speaks of the other much outside of matching up with one another. One thing you can count on though is that you'll be more than ready for a match such as the chamber after our match, and I'll be more than ready to to knock the shit out of Ryan Marx, and put him back in his place for good! On Showdown, Nico, you already know what my endgame is, because it's the same as it has been week in and week out. When that bell rings it's go time. So you had better bring your A game, as you always have in our matches, because you're going to need it. It's like I've been trying to tell you. Your fate in that Chamber match was sealed the moment the match card came out this week. You are my opponent this week, but you are the example that I use to send an message to Ryan Marx. Remember, Nico, I'm not trying to meet anyone's expectations this week, but my own. It won't be about beating the clock...just about beating you, and that's what I'm going to do.

(Dynasty Promo II: "Fear is Not My Master")

The scene opens up to a dimly lit room where EAW Elitist Kelly Hackenschmidt sits on a bench beside a mirror and looking towards the camera. He wore no shirt, but a pair of black wrestling trunks and wrestling boots with a baseball cap covering the top of his long blond hair. His green eyes glaring at the camera.

“So the Hall of Famer speaks doesn't he? Well, that's good news. And It seems as though Mister Pure Wrestling has heeded the call of battle! You see Hades, you are actually right about some things that you said about me. You're right, I am young, my confidence is easily mistaken for arrogance! You're also right about me being a thrill seeker, always looking for the next big fight! Yet Hades, while you see Pro-wrestling as a ways of delivering your punishment, your anger and laying it all down right in that squared circle, then by doing exactly that you are letting me win. It's as you said, I live for the thrill. I live for the challenges life brings and I live exactly for those goosebumps I get when coming face to face with fear itself! Do I take offense to it? No. In fact all you're doing is motivating my victory that much more!”

“Seeing this guy who's obviously bigger than me, heavier than me too across the ring from me makes it feel that much better. You wanna put me through Hel? You want to be the one to teach me the concept of fear? Well I guess it'd interesting because some say that I lack the balls to be in the ring while you on the other hand see me as someone who needs to be taught that guts isn't everything. Well if you want to know where my bold and brash approach on life comes from-”

Kelly stands up, still looking right up at the camera. A proud grin on his face.

“I guess you can say it's in my blood. My ancestors were told for generations that if they died facing their fears; they would ascend to a land above all others where an eternity filled with whores, ale and the finest folk music in human history would await their spirits. That Heimdall would be the first to greet them before opening the gates to the greatest celebration that ever lived! I guess that is where my sense of thrill came from. I guess that's where my bravery originates. It's why when I step between those ropes I am steadfast and charging in with grace that can be compared to Thor himself! So if you seek to deliver the absolute punishment for my ambitions and determination, then I’m afraid that I don't take prisoners! Especially on the battlefield! So while you may see EAW’s current brand as a weak shell of its former self, you’ll soon learn that EAW like it or not will soon become greater than it ever was! It will keep its mainstay as the premier pro-wrestling promotion around the globe and who will be the catalyst as EAW rises to heights it had never even imagined? Well why not a man who has taken his goals and realized that much like everything else in his life: that while his goals may be far fetched, compared to his hunger, his desire, his determination and his athletic ability; far fetched would just mean just around the corner! People always ask me what do they have to do to achieve their dreams? I tell them straight up, that I don't have dreams. I have goals! Because if pro-wrestling has taught me anything, if anyone puts their mind to it, they too can become something glorious! It's what leads me to a sudden revelation I had of how I have been on almost a winning streak while you on a losing one.”

“Your goal is set around dominance, destruction, punishing me for crimes I have yet to commit. Though me? My goal has always been victory, out performing, outwitting and out classing my opponents each and every single opportunity I get; whether it be at the very beginning of the match or at the ending moments! My goal for that match has always been to make sure my opponent knows that I can out perform them just as well as they can out perform anyone else! To make sure that as the guy who puts his head out for a promotion he had only been in for a month and a half! So Hades, In my eyes there is always the look of empowerment and determination! So while yes, there will a larger man at the other side of the ring. But after doing this since I was fifteen years old; you can be damn sure that I have wrestled some guys twice or even three times my size. Some of them may have had that same intention, pain and absolute dominance, yet at the end of the night I outshined and out performed each and every single one of them! Sure you may argue that it's EAW and the stakes are much different. Yet the tactics still remain very similar.”

“You know I think it was Eclipse Diemos who said that he used fear as a weapon and Hades, I see you trying to do the exact same thing; trying to use fear as some sort of psychological weapon. You see fear leads to fear based decisions that are even for me standards reckless and can have major consequences. Yet fear only works when the opponent submits to it and lets it define his life.
That Hades, is not the man I am not will it ever be! I will admit that there is a shiver in my spine, but I never let something that small come to me and make it to the end. Because I know the only difference between a man that is ordinary and another that is extraordinary is that one who is considered extraordinary by others sets fear aside and takes his challenges head on! Sure, my ways may very well be straight forward, yet on Friday night, they will be effective. Best get a close look Hades, because Schmidt's about to get real!”

Kelly says before grabbing a stainless-steel water bottle and walking down the room off-screen.

The first thing everyone seated before a television or computer screen saw was Dynasty’s General Manager Sebastian Monroe’s name tag, polished and screwed on the front door of his office. The hallway was mildly silent, with workers occasionally heard walking by hoping the copy machine was functioning correctly, while others were heard answering phone calls either to schedule an event or answer several questions. However, the main focus was the door to the office of the General Manager. There was a certain eerie aura radiating off the polished oak wood door, many watching wondering what was taking place on the other side of it. As the camera began to gradually retreat, the hallway nearly becoming entirely silent, the door knob was seen being slowly turned. In the office, a pair of muffled voices were heard communicating with one another. With enough of a safe distance from the door, in case security needed to come to escort the visitor out if a fight broke out, Monroe was seen opening the door and halfway stepping out. One by one, giving the General Manager a death stare as they walked out, all four members of The Armada were seen wearing skimpy bodyguard clothing, each one wearing a pair of black sunglasses and an earpiece in their right ear. In reality, there wasn’t really any need for them to have earpieces, since they’re always standing so close to one another and their employer. Once Dandy was the last maiden to exit the office, The Majestic One Agustin Gates sauntered out of the office with that same irritable and cocky smile on his face. His entire demeanor seemed pleased and excited for some apparent reason, stopping at the doorway as the Commissioner extended his right hand out to him.

Monroe: Mister Gates, I do wish you luck against Mister Wakefield.

Agustin: And why would I need that Sir? When your Majesty sets his mind on something, he plans on seeing it through the end. And Finny will definitely meet his end this Friday night.

Maintaining his hand extended out, Monroe arched his left brow in confusion, making sure that his sigh wasn’t heardable. Meanwhile, Agustin was admiring his overpriced cuffs and gold wrist watch, smoothing two fingers against the surface of the watch in pleasure. He was behaving as if Monroe wasn’t important, or that he was simply awaiting him to depart from his side. Standing his ground, Monroe maintained a professional and respectful composure, however the way his muscles were tensing up gave everyone watching a sense that his patience was wearing thin.

Monroe: Besides that, thank you for approaching me with these ideas, and I can’t wait to see what the fans think of it all. Thank you for dropping by Gates.

With a disgusted look on his face, The Majestic One gradually looked down at Monroe’s hand, later meeting his eyes with an ‘Are You Serious’ look. Glancing down at his own hand, wondering what was the problem, Monroe checked both the back and front of it as The Majestic One sighed as he back away from him.

Agustin: Boss, you definitely need to work on how to greet, and bid farewell, to your top Benjamin Franklin bringer. It’s already bad enough that you’re allowing some guy named Senn, who quite frankly has an atrocious sense of hairstyle, to sink my brand. But you still don’t know how to greet royalty? Next time I pass by, I’ll get you several fascinating DVDs centered around the medieval times. Ciao.

Relieved to finally be rid of Gates, Monroe heaved out a sigh of indignation as he closed the door behind him, probably planning to take a handful of Advils. As the small group of degenerates made their way to the nearby stainless steel elevators, the proudly grinning Prince Charming of EAW being circled around by the intense looking members of his Armada, Stacy Tayler was seen rushing up to them with a microphone in hand. Immediately jumping on high alert, hearing Stacy calling out their employer by his first name, all four maidens abruptly surrounded her like a pack of wolves. Not having anywhere to run, Stacy simply quivered in fear as the barks continued to sound and seeing her space diminish, deeply questioning her decision in accepting this assignment. As hard as Stacy apologized, being tossed back and forth from Armada member to Armada member similar to a high school bully scene, the intense situation only seemed to get worse by the minute.

Tsundere: What gives you any right to address his Majesty by his first name?!

Dandy: And what are you even here for? An interview?! Just look at you! *flicking Stacy’s hair to one side in utter disgust* Is this even real? Get your bum a-

Agustin: Heel!

Right at the sound of Agustin’s voice, similar to the Red Sea in the Bible, all four members of The Armada parted into two groups, their heads hung as Agustin walked in between them and heading to a shaken up Stacy.

Agustin: Even though I would love nothing more than to see five women all piled on top of each other, doing the nasty while making this whole hallway be filled with amazing screeches and moans of you know what. However, since we’re a family programming company, I’m going to have to kill my fantasy. Miss Tayler, please forgive my ladies. They’re simply overprotective of me. I tend to find myself telling them to take a breather, and enjoy a warm bubbling bath with me, but instead of relaxing, they’re always on guard…….when they’re in the tub with me. And they especially don’t appreciate when their King gets addressed by his first name.

Agustin’s entire tone was passive with a hint of an inflated self-pride, shrugging his shoulders as he caught the interviewer off guard with a quick wink. Trying to keep herself from looking the seething women close by in the eyes, Stacy simply took in a deep shaky breath as she occasionally locked eyes with The Majestic One. Wanting herself to not show any sign of weakness, Stacy gradually lifted the microphone up to her lips, ready to finally kick off the interview.

Stacy: Agus-

All of a sudden, a surge of malice was shot up into Stacy’s spine as she caught sight of The Armada grilling her with blood lust, her heart skipping a beat or two fearing she would be mauled right on camera. Gulping down a lump of fear, noticing Gates in the corner of her eye lightly tapping his right index finger against his pants.

Stacy: Y-Your Majesty...

Agustin: MUCH MORE LIKE IT! Now, what is the purpose of your unexpected arrival? Was it to seduce me into a janitor’s closet, and having your way with me? Because if so, I hope you’ve been checked over properly. I’ve heard stories about you, and neither one had you completely clothed. But hey, I’m not judging. Just know I’ve lasted more than-

Stacy: Your Majesty, can I know the reason behind your visit with Dynasty’s General Manager Sebastian Monroe?

Cocking his head to the side, befuddled on the question as he took in every inch of Stacy’s figure with multiple glances, Gates snapped back to reality as Stacy quickly waved her hand in his face.

Stacy: Your Majesty, what did you and Sebastian Monroe just discuss back there?

Agustin: Oh right. The Monroe fellow. Well besides a very top secret topic, I voiced my opinion about competing against Dynasty’s human giraffe, who believes he’s cool just because he pops his collar before hopping into the ring. Seriously, he’s child competing in a man’s world.

Stacy: Anything else?

Chuckling with exuberance at the question, Gates lightly placed his hand against his stomach his other hand shot up, signaling The Armada to remain where they stood.

Agustin: You’re a nosy little freak aren't you Sunny?

Stacy: It’s Stacy.

Agustin: That's what I said. But to the answer of your question, I gave the General Manager a royal visit because lately I've been highly upset. I’m a top billed athlete, who’s headlined many magazines because of stunning physique. And not only that, but I’ve squared off against the very best in the squared circle becoming a seven time PRW Cyanide Champion, and a former PRW Internet Champion. What has Finny ever done to get a match against me?! HE ONLY HAS SOME BLAND WRESTLING SCHOOL!

Realizing he startled both his Armada and the interviewer, Agustin inhaled a deep breath with his eyes tightly closed as he regained his composure.

Agustin: My apologies deary. But when I’m booked against rookies or curtain jerkers, it gets under my golden skin.

Stacy: And what were you able to accomplish in the meeting?

Agustin: I was able to at last open the eyes of dear old General Manager Monroe. Before I arrived here in The Land of Elites an esteemed and multi time champion tucked tail, scurrying to safety on his supposed swan song when I showed up. I aided a cheerleader in becoming a top performer in PRW after a one night stand. Sunny, I’m a man with many talents, a chiseled figure, a perfect face, the tongue of a genius.

In the background, The Armada were seen smiling as they nodded their head in agreement, biting down on the bottom lip at Agustin’s final words.

Agustin: Take your mind out of the gutter Stac. What I'm trying to say is that I was bred for greatness. I deserve everything this world has to provide. But for me to be showered by the riches of this world, I’ve realized that certain things needed to be thrown in the dumpster, like Mister Wakefield. All I hear is him saying, I’ve got this. Really? Against me? He has a chance in keeping me down for three whole seconds, or forcing me to utter that I quit? HA DON’T BE LAUGH! Finny, has no chance in gaining his first victory in EAW. I’m just better looking and a better combatant than him.

Coolly placing his hands in his pockets, Gates moistened his lips as a sly smile formed on his face.

Agustin: Our match will be a quick and full of me shaking my beautiful hips. Finny WILL definitely know what hit him after I personally care him to the Trainer’s Room.

Maintaining a safe distance from Gates and his entourage, Stacy was able to keep up with him as he headed towards the elevator. Rushing to push the down button first, Madison giggled as Gates rubbed the bottom of her chin.

Agustin: If people are too afraid to fight me, then maybe it's time I aid another helpless career. That's my job as a king.

As the elevator finally arrived, Gates and his maidens strolled in, making Stacy feel she wasn't invited to accompany them.

Agustin: I’m walking into Friday with the biggest welcoming gift Finny can ever ask for. Something that will actually give meaning to his life. And once that's out of the way, my true reign will commence. He shall be the first to have his knee bowed, and his tongue confessing, ladies if you would.

Before the doors shut before Stacy’s face, The Armada in unison hollered with passion and pride "ALL HAIL YOUR MAJESTY AGUSTIN GATES!"

To the many it’s a hindrance, to the few it’s an aid.  It…is…fear.

Even in light of the years I’d spent observing mankind from the shadows, I have yet to locate the origins of their latest trend.  Fearlessness.  Since when did it become not only commendable, but a characteristic of strength that measures one’s toughness or even more ridiculous, their potential?  Too often do we insist on mistaking foolhardy or fearlessness for bravery, which is truly laudable.  To be brave means you’re sensible.  You acknowledge your fears but you do not submit to them; instead you choose to face them -- to fight them head-on!  That -- now THAT I can respect.  But those who claim to be fearless, I do not respect nor fully understand.  As a wise man once told me, ‘you show to me a man who does not fear, and in turn I will show you a man who is a fool.’  Meaning that someone who is fearless is either reckless or – even worse – a liar.  An individual who has convinced himself and those around him that he isn’t afraid of nary a thing, when deep down he is petrified.  There’s no shame in being scared.  Fear can even be a good thing.  Fear removes the rose-colored lens from our perception so that we may see the bare truth in life.  It reveals to us the line that we shan’t cross.  In the absence of fear we've allowed room for error, stupidity, misplaced arrogance, and careless mistakes -- all that is present in the current EAW -- and ALL that I intend to rectify.  If in order to restore purity to a once great company, I must remind them what it’s like to be scared shitless, then I will do just that; starting with the man who’ll brazenly stand before me.  He’d be wise to proceed with the meerkat’s vigilance else he’ll get more than he bargained for in a fight with the unprecedented.

Through mild study, I can gander why most would assume him arrogant.  He’s quick to shoot off at the mouth – acting on impulse without considering the consequences – and laughs in the face of fear because the idea of a great challenge appeals to him more than fear ever could.  But I don’t believe him to be arrogant.  That doesn’t make him arrogant, maybe stupid, but not arrogant.  This kid has a confidence that only the inferior composed of greater insecurities would find offensive.  He is mindful and respectful of his elders without being a kiss-ass; very respectable.  Alas, he is STILL without fear!  Therefore he must be taught in the ways that my wretched and now deceased step-father taught me; with a clenched fist.  The man he encountered is but a mere cheap imitation of me, who, even on my worst day wouldn’t be fit to hold my hat.  Now mistake me not for arrogant because I am not full of arrogance, I am not full of confidence, I am full of facts!  And assuming that what he said in regards to him taking lessons from his failures were facts, I aim to teach him a valuable one.  When the gauntlet has been thrown down…when his fate has been sealed with the Brimstone Piledriver and the bell has answered the call of the consecutive third pound from the Official's hand…when I leave the broken and bloody mess that was Kelly Hackenschmidt lying in a paralysis state, embracing the canvas, he’ll come to either respect fear out of fear…or at the very least, respect fear out of fear for me.

To him, wrestling may very well be a means of living on the edge, a pipedream of his that’s come to fruition, specifically about willing himself beyond his physical limitations, or hell, maybe it’s even fun to him.  But to me, wrestling is not only a mere sport or a gig; it’s a means of punishment.  And make no mistake about it to my adversaries, it is a waking hell.  Can you imagine getting into the ring with a living giant that wishes nothing more than to do you physical harm -- to scar you mentally for life?  Every grueling minute that carries on you are at his mercy -- at his disposal.  The most excruciating pain you’ve ever experienced in your life being tested with every landing blow.  A great many can.  And soon enough, Kelly will.  I urge him to fight to his very last -- fight as if it were his last, because it may very well be his last.

--
GloryBeToHades

(Scene starts with Jack Ripley sitting at the RAD Betting office table, counting chips with a big grin on his face… When there’s a knock at the door)

 Jack: ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!
(The interviewer slowly opens the door and creeps into the “room” aka the open space behind the door frame)

Jack: INTERVIEWAAAAAAA!!!!!!! What’s up man



Interviewer: Hey Jack



Jack: HEY did you see our re-debut, I know you saw it, I know you had all eyes on that bad boy watching



Interviewer: Yeah all 2



Jack: I’m sure you had all 3 don’t be koi with me



Interviewer: Umm human beings only have 2



Jack: Ummmmmm you dumb? Haven’t you heard of Third Eye Blind? The third one is blind…



Interviewer: I think that’s just….



Jack: You can only open the third one if you do mass amounts of hard drugs… So you should get on that



Interviewer: Do hard drugs...



Jack: Yeah… Live life on the edge, and if you die… WELL you had a good run, how old are you 79?



Interviewer: 35



Jack: Oh god what happened to you?



Interviewer: Anyways what about….

(Interviewer notices Jack isn’t paying attention, and is staring off into the distance quietly singing a Third Eye Blind song)

Jack: Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo...I'm packed and I'm holding, I'm smiling, she's….. Wait what? Sorry you brought up Third Eye Blind, and that’s one catchy tune

Interviewer: You brought up Third Eye Blind

Jack: Yeah crazy how that works… Hey did you know that song is about a hardcore drug life, and it’s riddled with drug, and sexual lyrics. Like in plain sight too, and no one noticed

Interviewer: Yeah Jack I did, but about your match

Jack: Why must you always ruin a good time, here I am counting my winnings, and singing my Third Eye Blind, and you waltz in here and interviewer everything up… aka ruin, I’ve replaced the word ruin with interviewer, because that’s what you do.. ALLLL ZEEEE TIMMEEE… I do French accents now, nbd. I’m pretty cultured.

Interviewer: So can…

Jack: How did I get those chips you ask?

Interviewer: No I wa…

Jack: Well it’s quite simple really! David and I, we pooled up all our money, went to Vegas and bet that we would win our debut match! We bet on ourselves, and won. ROLLING IN THE DOUGHHHH BRUHHHHHH!! You want some?

Interviewer: Well.

Jack: Ha, you can’t have any. If you had done the smart thing and went to Vegas and bet, you’d be in the same position, you foolish fool of a simpleton sloot. Fix your tie, you’re embarrassing yourself!

(Interviewer goes to fix his tie… But he doesn’t have one)

Jack: YOU DUMB???!!!! YOU AREN’T WEARING A TIE! Who dresses you? Your mom? You don’t even know what clothes you’re wearing.

Interviewer: Ok so just going to go right into the questions now… You beat Nobi and Cody Marshall sure, but they aren’t a real tag team, and they attacked eachother mid match. Do you honestly believe you proved anything?

Jack: So like… Your mom dresses you, and does she write your questions for you too? Don’t answer, I already know shhhh, it’s ok. Anyways, yes I do believe we proved that we haven’t missed a step. Did you see me in there? I was like BOOM! POW! Right in the kisser, straight to the moon. In short, I was impressive, David, he was impressive. It doesn’t matter if those two buffoons want to throw away a match at the very end, when they were trying, they were getting outdone, pure and simple. So in my eyes even when it was a fair fight, they were getting outworked, so that crybaby racist sloot, decided to throw a temper tantrum and attack his partner. Not because he hates him, it was because he knew he wasn’t going to be able to beat the High Rollerzzzz and wanted an excuse.

Interviewer: Interesting sentiment.

Jack: Fact of the matter is, I showed I still got it. Like I said, when they were trying to beat us, they couldn’t. And I don’t need them to try to show how sick my moooooves are. Did you see my flips and dips and all that? I’m very athletic, your mom must love me.

Interviewer: *sigh* She does….

Jack: WELL TOO BAD! Tell her to hit the bricks because I’m happily married. She can’t get any of this diiiiuuuggghhh. That’s all for the wifey. #Loyal #InLove

Interviewer: Don’t hashtag real life please..

Jack: WHAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT??!!

(Jack Flips the table again, chips fly everywhere)

Jack: How you gonna tell me what to do in my LIIIIFFFFEEE. (Starts singing Bon Jovi) ITS MY LIIIIIIFFE ITS NOW OR NEVER… I AINT GONNA LIVE FOREVER!!!! I’m going to #Hashtag #everything #now. #ThisIsmyplaceofbusinessandIcalltheshotshombre. #1-0.

Interviewer: You’re an odd individual…

Jack: Hey..

Interviewer: Hi?

Jack: Why are you still here?

Interviewer: I still have more questions…

Jack: Oh… Ummm. HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING OVER THERE!!!

(Jack points to something off camera, and interviewer looks. As the interviewer looks Jack sneaks off to hide behind the table that he flipped, and sits down behind it. Interviewer looks and Jack is nowhere to be found)

Interviewer: *sigh*

Jack: I’m so sneaky

(Interviewer walks over to the table and sees Jack hiding there. He doesn’t say anything, and just sits next to him)

Jack: So you’ve found my fortress of solitude. Good for you, you think you’re tough because you’ve broken through the force shield and sat beside me? I give you credit for that, but that is all  you’re getting. YOU HEAR ME???! I AIN’T TALKIN COPPER!!! YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!!!

(Interviewer just looks at him)

Interviewer: Ryan Marx

Jack: Ugh fine. Rex McAllister picked the High Rollerz to face Ryan Marx as punishment for his little bitch fit he’s throwing. You see that? Even before we wrestle we’re being touted as what we are, people that can dish out much deserved reality checks. He could’ve chose any 2 world champions, or a tag team that’s been here, but nope! He picked us to beat the shit out of this Ryan Marx fellow, because he knows in a handicap match, you have to choose the best of the best. We know tag team wrestling like the back of our hands, and what is a handicap match but a tag team match -1. We know what we’re doing, we’ve shown what we can do, in the past, and last week. Ryan, you’re on this little quest for gold, which is cool I dig it. David and I also have a quest for gold too, and green. So I can cut you a deal, I have a replica EAW World Title that I bought on EAWshopzone.com. Anyways, I can give you it, and your little thirst can be over! Aren’t I such a nice guy. Well, I won’t just give it to you, obviously it won’t be free, give me like 500 dollars, or all the gold coins in your possession!  You give me one of the two and it’ll be all yours! Much easier than trying to beat Rex McAllister for his title I’d say. Look…. (Looks at the interviewer) Ok… Can you not be so close to me, you’re invading my personal space, and breathing all my air. Gonna need you to back up off me a bit…

(Interviewer shifts to the side a little)

Jack: Little more..

(Slides a little more)

Jack: Keep going…

(Slides more)

Jack: TEEEEENY bit more

(Interviewer slides so far he’s out of the shot)

Jack: Is he still in the shot camera man?

Cameraman: No

Jack: Ok Interviewer perfect. Dude that guys breath smells so bad, does he eat pieces of shit for breakfast? Damn yo. Anyways Ryan, you think of yourself as something of a philosopher? Is that what your deal is? You think you’ve got these big ideas, and you’re smarter than all us common folk? Wrong! If you were so smart you wouldn’t be getting yourself into 2 vs. 1 matches, against the greatest tag team of all time! (says in a whisper behind his hand) of all tiiiiimeee. Thanks David. No problem Jack. We are a well oiled machine ok? We are going to be the first ever tag team to be inducted into the hall of fame as a tag team. This is our goal, we gain success together, we are in this together. We don’t have any hidden agendas, we don’t have any individual goals. If one of us win a singles title, we are both the champion. You are in a world of hurt Ryan Marxxxxxx. You think you’re being held down by the suits? Is that what you think? Why would they make it their agenda to personally keep you down? You honestly think you’re so important to them that they would go out of their way to do that? There’s only one thing that matters to them, and I can relate because it matters to me a lot too, and that’s money. They don’t see you as someone they can get behind and sell to the public, that’s all. Just be more interesting, it’s nothing personal I’m sure. But they don’t go out of their way, you just haven’t caught their eye at all because you’re just not that interesting or original! So boom! Another problem solved. I’m so smart, I graduated from college it’s whatever.

Interviewer from off camera: Where did you go to college?

Jack: WHAT?!! You’re not in the shot I can’t hear you! I heard the word college though.. You’re mom went to college. Ha, totally got him. But yeah Ryan, just do something different than the rest of the roster. Everyone thinks they’re the smartest, or have different ideas, but really it’s all the same. But hey, through all your complaining, and bitching, you got your shot at the New Breed title, so I guess they got tired of your complaining and gave in? Congratulations, but that’s only step one, you still actually have to win that match to become the champion, and like I said before, I don’t know if you got what it takes. But that’s later, this week you got The High Rollerz, the greatest of all time. You’d be smart not to over look this match Ryan. If you do, you might not even make it to that title match that you hold so near and dear to your heart. Ok I’m gonna stand up now, I’ve had my fill of sitting. Hey interviewer get over here please.

Interviewer: Oh now I can talk to you?

Jack: Ha, no. Pick my table up for me, I feel as though it’s all your fault that it’s messed up. Thanks, you’re a doll

(Jack pats interviewer on the cheek in a that a boy kind of way, and walks out of the room, going through the door frame, because he doesn’t know that he can enter and exit the room with no walls without going through the door frame.)

Interviewer: I-I’m not doing that…. Ugh fine whatever…

(Interviewer goes to fix the table and get the chips off the floor and the camera fades to black)

Showdown Promo 1

The camera opens on an overhead black and white shot of Pizza Boy in the corridor backstage, laying against the wall with one leg cocked up out in front of him while the other splays out in the other direction.  He pats his balled up right hand in his open left palm as he stares up at the ceiling, and vicariously, at the camera.

"Time.  The ultimate enemy.  As it winds down, ticking, tocking, making a whole lot of racket to get our attention, I realize what it's trying to warn us about.  See, time doesn't run down.  We do.  Time's an illusion, a theory, an invention of the mind.  You could almost say time is nothing.  Hours can feel like seconds, days can feel like years, and the only solid proof we have that the passage of time is deteriorating is watching ourselves grow, hit our peak, and then decompose.  Nails grow, hair extends, teeth fall out, then grow back, then fall out again.  Wounds mend, scars heal, and we march on with time Tyler.  Except when they don't, of course."

PB nonchalantly pulls himself up into a seated position, pulling his knees in close to his body as he peers down the long hallway.

"I hope your homecoming was everything you hoped for Tyler.  I hope you came back with a new clarity and resolve.  I hope that you're 100% going into our match as well.  No rust, no lingering ailments, nothing of the sort.  Why? Because I need to beat you in the quickest fashion possible.  I need you to pop back up off of that canvas after I hit you with a suplex.  I want you to eagerly shake off that knee pain when I hyper extend your leg with a dropkick to the patella.  I need you to foolishly push yourself and give me everything you've got right out of the gate out of what you'll undoubtedly refer to as  'respect'.  But you see the problem with that is you can't respect a nobody, Tyler.  Respect and nobodies, like time, are entities that do not exist.  No matter how hard you try to measure their accolades, no matter how much you want to look back and see the good in people, on a long enough timeline what a nobody accomplishes dwindles down to nil.  My impact on a business that's constantly begging 'what have you done for me lately?' is trivial, especially when every accomplishment and attempt at a better, brighter, cleaner tomorrow is nixed at the knees by the first sign of resistance!  I snuff out HexaGun as OMERTA grew in the shadows.  I avenge my mentor and his true legacy gets struck down by a bastard champion.  I get my chance to avenge both in the same match.  I fail.  I fail so hard that the universe went an extra step and said, 'you know what? you don't deserve your little participation award if you can't avenge your friends.  Nico, come and get this silver platter.' and you know something Tyler? it was the right call. I was stubborn though.  I didn't see what the business saw when it looked right through me.  I'd look in the mirror and I say 'there's a somebody' while  staring at the reflection of an empty room.  The emperor had been stripped down to his skivvies, but he was still too bull headed to realize he was wearing nothing.  So then what'd I do? I drug Erica Ford into my unwinnable battle for gold.  She looked at me with eyes of nostalgia, being a former delivery person herself.  Sure the world had made her a bitter dead end bride stuck at the alter alone, but her wistfulness for me gave her hope, and I let her down."

PB's eyes glass over as he tries to avert his gaze from the camera.  He wipes his tears on his arm and looks up at the camera with a pasted on tough expression.

"So tell me again Tyler.  Tell me how you want to be my friend, how you want me to get my spirits up again.  Tell me lies.  Tell me sweet little lies.  Tell me 'I've still got it', that this is the turnaround marker for me in our little race against time, that I'm not standing before you naked because I have two EAW National Title reigns under my belt.  Tell me that's an accomplishment and not proof of two failures.  Oooh, I know, tell me that our pairing against one another in this beat the clock match is destiny.  Oh I always bite at that one.  Tell me all of these sweet nothings and more and I'll come back at you with the cold, hard, throbbing truth of the matter, which simply boils down to this: You and I are stepping into a chamber of horrors with four other men.  Now I've been in one of these bad boys before, and boy was it ever the slap in the face I needed at the time.  It humbled the tiniest bit of growing esteem I had in my abilities at the time.  Hey, being tossed off of a cell will do that to a guy.  You'll learn that soon enough."

PB closes his eyes and nods in a quick, knowing confidence.

"This match is my make or break, Tyler.  I hate to go all 'optimist' here, but we're in prime position to beat the clock in record time.  We'll know how long Ares and HRDO will go, and we'll know just how quick we'll need to go to off-set Nico and Rex's chances.  Seeing how I can hit the Last Slice out of nowhere, maybe I make this thing a wash with a three second victory? but see, even that leaves doubt in my mind as to whether you're really trying to give me the shot in the arm that my career needs.  To put it simply, while I'd love to have the best time there's a solid fear within me that you'll let your ushy, gushy, feelings get the best of you and lie down for me.  This...doesn't help me. Not mentally.  Not emotionally. It doesn't fill in the scars on my psyche to know that you're such a 'good friend' that you'd lay down for me.  Someone telling the emperor that he's not naked doesn't stop the shrinkage if it's cold outside, and believe me, the atmosphere of that chamber chills to the bone...er...so to speak.   But the saddest truth of all Tyler is that if you gave me the pinfall victory, that 3 seconds, I'd probably take it.  I need the advantage of coming in last.  We've already seen that I can't take out Ares on my own.  I couldn't even take him out with Tiberius Jones in the ring unintentionally helping me take him out.  I'd need that four man pile on to even stand a chance.  I mean, we all know it right? Nobody can beat Ares Vendetta, but maybe nobody would have a better chance if four somebodies helped.  Even then I doubt my capabilities though Tyler.  It's amazing I beat Devan Dubian on my own without someone interfering or holding my hand."

PB gives a cynical sneer toward the camera.

"But therein lies the crux of the problem: The problem isn't that no one's telling the emperor that he's naked.  The problem is that there's some deranged nudist nobody running around claiming he's worthy of emperorship, and a kingdom's doing everything within their power to play along.  I see the glint in your eyes Tyler.  Even if you gave me this, even if you gave me one leg up toward competing in this deranged infrastructure, you've still got gold fever.  You don't think you need the advantage because you've got rest, drive, and a stake in winning that gold.  I'm just the charity case in the path toward what you think is your title victory.  Better men than you have thought the same.  Better wrestlers, bigger stars, men I was more than happy to call friend, men I learned from being in the ring with because they weren't afraid to kick the tires and throw off my training wheels.  I'm not where I am today in EAW because of so-called friends like you Tyler.  I'm at the top of the card because men were willing to spit in my face, make me lick dirt off of the canvas, and shake my hand after I came back from it.  They saw me as a nobody then and they never said otherwise about me, not even after I pulled a victory out of my ass against them.  Dumb luck has made me believe that I'm somehow in league with HBB, Brian Daniels, Jamie O'Hara, Tarah Nova, Ares Vendetta, or even Drake, Jones, and Judas.  Following that belief has only led me down one dead end path after another, but I'm more than convinced that it's also taught me how to beat lesser Elitist than the ones I've listed off.  You are a lesser man Tyler.  You're not Heart Break Boy, you're not Brian Daniels or Cyclone.  To put it as glibly as I possibly can; we aren't friends and we never will be because you'll never be willing to push me into the same circle of confidence that those men did.  Now, am I in their league? No, but for some strange reason they saw something in me that they thought they could push to the forefront of EAW, and that alone gives me the confidence to know that even a nobody like me can beat a pretender like Tyler Parker hastily enough to earn that final pod position, and really that's all I need."

PB licks his lips and glances downward in a mixture of shame and regret for the words that just spewed from his mouth.

"The sad part is that it isn't about skill.  You've got a boat load of talent Tyler, maybe more than most of the names that I've dropped on you like a ton of bricks.  It isn't even about being a veteran or a well-traveled performer.  Do you know what sets you apart from those Elitists Tyler? It's a willingness to put that cold, snub nose, muzzle of reality to my temple and squeeze the trigger when the time comes to kill my hopes and dreams.  You can't do it.  You've got too much puppy love in you to do it.  You're all wrapped up in the past, the 'coulda, woulda, shoulda's'.  You're trying to save a Pizza Boy that simply isn't there anymore.  Instead, a nobody has taken up his spacial area in reality.  If you have any chance at all of pulling me back into this realm of existence, this corporeal plain where somehow, some way, somebody actually has some faith in me, well...the only way to do it is..."

PB cocks his right  thumb like a hammer, bends his index finger, and presses his middle knuckle to his temple.  With his left hand he pantomimes an explosion out of the other side of his head.

"blllamo!"

He gives the camera a sardonic smirk as he wiggles his eyebrows somewhat nihilistically, before snapping back into a sneer as he lunges upward at the camera.

"GIVE ME A FIGHT PARKER!  MAKE ME FEEL SOMETHING! LET THIS ALL GET UNDER YOUR SKIN AND LET IT BLEED YOU FROM THE INSIDE IF YOU DON'T! so help me..."

Pizza Boy gets to his feet, now glowering at the camera with a face full of tears as he lunges at it one last time, falling forward on his knees as he misses with an aimless swing.  Now on his knees, he bends forward, clutching the back of his head as he has a full on breakdown in the middle of the corridor.  The camera cuts to color as concerned rustling comes from off-set.

[Un-Mic'd Crew Member]: Cut! That's a cut! Somebody help me clean this ki-

cut to black.

Just because you say, something doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. (laughs) Don’t mistake my respect for naivete Cam. My reign- while short made history. A history you have and will never achieve: A reign caused by the first woman to ever win a rampage match. THAT is history Cameron. Another piece of history is me beating Cleo in our first match- something that it took you over a year to accomplish if I’m not mistaken! You ‘nurturing’ the title at this stage would the equivalent to pulling a Casey Anthony. (laughs) You were bumping heads with the boys when I first arrived on the scene. When you came crawling back to us, you were just a random encounter Formation used to kick around when we got bored. Months later, you and your OG buddies realized that you couldn’t hack it, so you enlist The Coven to do your dirty work. And even then it took enlisting Cailin Dillon to initiate the coup de grace on The Sirens. So far Cam, as long as I’ve been around, you haven’t done SHIT. Wait- you invited your sister into the clusterfuck that is your current career! I want to see the god damn the old school Cameron Ella Ava! You better bring your A-game sweets, because once it's lights, camera, and action, making the wrong move could spell the end of everything for you. Nah, I’m serious. Every time I fall I get back up STRONGER. Every time people doubt me I prove them WRONG. Even in my loss to Eclipse and Alexis, I turned into a one woman army! I took their combined forces to take me down! As for my sisters, I don’t have to worry about shit. A win for me is a win for them. I don’t have to worry about them leaving me hanging the same way HBG and Kendra left you. There’s trust between us. I’ve been in enough alliances to realize that sometimes your opponents will be your friends or family. Sure I was upset I lost in the first round of this tag tournament, but I REFUSE to let that hang over my head! Hell, if anything I’m confident Eclipse and Alexis will walk out of the tournament with the tag titles! I am sure that either Brody, Madison, or myself will walk out of the chamber with the Specialist Championship! And then on that fateful day, regardless if it's sooner or later…

#CloudyRulesEverythingAroundCammy

Yeah, sweets. Know this and understand it. I’m twice the woman you are now, and the girl you are is half of what you used to be. It’s such a shame too because I know in my heart of hearts you’re so much better than HBG and Kendra. I see the instinct in your eyes. You can sense your desire to be enlightened. I will awaken you, Cameron Ella Ava. With my conquest of your warrior’s spirit, you will see what you lost. You will realize that your biggest mistake was turning your back on this division to seek out so-called greener pastures. There’s no elitist out there that can’t be defeated by one of us. You’re right about the OGs valuing strength- that’s why you guys hired us after all. Our strength is something you wish you had- in fact, if HBG was so confident about the OGs why isn’t she and Kendra tearing up the tourney? Why didn’t she ask you? Once again she’s relying on a man to do most of the work for her. That’s something the three of you share, isn’t it? With all this talk about equality I’ve noticed that you guys only talk a good game when you’re protected. No different from Tarah and Aria, no different from the fan favorite Sher, no different from these newbies who in just two weeks find themselves cuffed by Elitists! (laughs) Such a sad state of affairs. These hoes need a wake-up call- and you are NOT the one to do the honors. So much potential and power you’ve squandered recently. I don’t call myself the best in the world yet- but I am the War Queen. I know and understand that it takes a series of conflicts to win a war. Beating you on Thursday won’t mean the end of you and I. It’ll just bring me closer to becoming the FIRST two-time Specialist Champion. That’s another piece of history just in case you didn’t know. I will take you to Cloud 9 like all the rest where you’ll evaluate what you’ve done wrong in our match. Ask Kendra what it’s like to be beaten by me- oh wait I forgot, she’s above me! (laughs) Damn it, Cam; you’re beginning to disappoint me! Then again, you all disappoint me eventually, except for my sisters. I’m so proud of them, and if one of them pin me to win their first Specialist Championship, I will hug them all the same. A win for them is a win for me after all. Can you say the same thing about your allies Cam? I highly doubt it. You can lie to yourself and the rest of the world, but you can’t lie to me. Your fellow members will stab you in the back when it suits their purpose. I can fall backward, and The Coven will catch me. Maybe after your fall from grace Brother Eclipse and Mother Famine Alexis can offer you salvation.

The irony about your insults is that the OGs accepted me as one of their best. Your chosen champion has gone on record to say I was right about everything. She and I see eye to eye on what this division needs to become. Underestimate me, and you’ll become my next victim. This isn't hopscotch bitch. This isn’t EAW 2K17’s universe mode or some e-fed run by some snot nosed teenagers. This is OUR Reality. I never said you were going to be easy to beat- I said I was going to win. I’m going to win because- unlike you, I am not a shell of my former self. I’m going to win because I want this more than you. I’m going to win because when it comes to the Specialist Championship and a ring full of women, I AM THE HISTORY MAKER! I am the real DANGER here ‘Killa Cam’! That’s the thing about that nickname I gave you- it’s supposed to be ironic. Killa Cam will turn out to be nothing more than an annoying poodle nipping at the heel of my boot. It won’t be the first time I kicked a bitch away. How about you follow your advice and go back to ‘Bitch Camp.' Maybe the counselors there will teach you how to beat me. (laughs) I too enjoy beating people up for money, after all, it’s the best thing about this job. I just do it better than everyone else. I would say that means I’m better than you, but I would rather prove that in the ring. 

(Puts on her hoodie and walks off)

Last man standing.  You know I never competed in a last man standing match.  I’ve competed in ladder matches, table matches.  Hell I can even say I’ve been in a War Games match.  Last Man Standing though? Nope never competed in one, see you need a certain level of hate for your opponent in this match.  You literally have to destroy him/her to make sure they stay down for those 10 seconds and even longer.  With you though Terry I don’t hate you see that would take too much energy I’m just sick and tired of you it’s like I can’t shake you off me.  No matter what I’m at you always seem to be right behind me and it’s honestly pissing me off.  I told Rex and I told everyone that after I lost to him I’d move onto bigger and better and you know what I could of done that.  However I failed to defeat Tyler Parker, with that being said though I wasn’t going to let that stop me I was going to find another opportunity but instead I go backstage and I’m being attacked by you.  An attack you probably thought would leave me out for a couple of weeks. An attack you probably thought I’d take you serious after.  That wasn’t the case though was it Terry? You heard what I said on Showdown you’re worthless always have been and always will be.  Just after next week you’ll get to be worthless somewhere else.  Like at home sitting back being a worthless husband watching me do what you can only dream of doing.  Terry I do applaud you for one thing though.  You are an opportunist. You know how to take advantage of the moment and that’s one thing I didn’t say on Showdown. Confused on what I mean by this? Why let me explain.
 
See Terry ever since you’ve seen me on the come up on Showdown lately you’ve became this crazy annoying pest you are now.  See the more cheers I got by the EAW Universe is the more annoying you got Terry.   You know what you are doing Terry and even though it took me a while I also know what you are doing.  You are trying to capitalize off of me.  You are trying to make a name for yourself on my time.  You are trying to make a name for yourself at my expense.  You see what I’ve been doing you want this fame you want to be cheered the same way I’m cheered.  You want to be loved by the Universe the way I am.  You want to have the opportunities I have and that’s why you’ve always been behind me as of late.  Next week I stop that.  Next time I turn around after Saturday of next week I won’t have to see some big ugly bastard behind me.   A matter of fact I won’t have to look behind me again because I promise after this I am done coming back to guys like you.  I move up the ranks after I am done with you.  That’s the reason I chose the last man standing match.  Not because I hate you not because I despise you because.  YOU ARE ANNOYING THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME!  So a regular old one on one match won’t work I know you’ll find a way to come back and try to make my life a living hell again and I just can’t let that happen right now.  I refuse to be held back any longer and stay stuck in a division I should have been out of years ago.  I’ll leave that to you now Terry.   I know how a Last Man Standing match works.  I know the rules and I know you just have to keep your opponent down for 10 seconds to secure the victory however I’m going to make sure I keep you down longer than that.   I have to keep you down longer than that.  Not only for myself but for these fans.  I have to keep you away for at least a month or so and that’s exactly what I plan on doing.
 

By the time you comeback I’ll be so high up the ladder that you can’t catch up and drag me down anymore,  you’ll be forced to find someone else to find and capitalize on their popularity and probably fail that time too.  Terry you are going to see a side of Chris Elite you wish you’ve never brought out of me.   I’m going to treat you worse than I did you’re former mentor and my former friend JJ Silva.  I’m going to take you out of my hair and the EAW Universes hair.   Saturday in Minnesota everyone finally witnesses the beast side of this Humble Beast.   You are going to wish you stopped fucking with me.  You are going to wish you left me alone and didn’t blindside me last week.  I’m going to do what you wanted to do to me.  I’m going to make a beast out of me on your own expense.  I’m going to use you to make sure people think twice before they pick a fight with me and try to get on my bad side.   You are going to regret acting like you had a pair on Showdown by accepting this match.  Terry you are worthless and that’s exactly how I’m going to treat you on Saturday.   I will be the Last Man Standing and I’ll never turn back on this part of my life again.   Terry if you have kids if you have a wife and your parents still somehow care for you still I advise you tell them not to tune into Showdown because they will witness a massacre of their loved one.  With that being said though assuming you probably don’t mean shit to anyone.  I advise everyone who hates Terry Chamber(So all of the EAW Universe and more) tune into Showdown this week because you are going to get a kick out of this.