(We start the scene off with Jack Ripley at the RAD Betting Agency just having a grand ol' time. He's lighting matches and throwing them at a downed Interviewer, just enjoying life... for some reason the Interviewer is enjoying it too. He thinks this is how friends treat each other.. It's not. They're not friends, but for some reason any human contact with this man makes him believe that they're closer than they are, and like a leach he just never leaves.)

Jack: HAHA I AM ENJOYING LIFE SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!

(Throws lit match at Interviewer, it's lit fam)

Interviewer: HAHA ME TOO!!

(Throws anotha one)

Jack: Damn! Almost got your eye with that one! So close!

Interviewer: Keep trying Jack you can do it! I believe!

(Jack throws another one, and it hits the interviewer in the nose.)

Jack: HAHAHA... wait...

(Jack doesn't say another word.. He just leaves the scene...)

Interviewer: Aw man, where ya going?

(Jack runs back real quick to give the Interviewer a swift kick in the gut, and walks off again)

Interviewer: Haha, ok bye Jack, catch ya later!

(We catch up with Jack driving his tesla with his thinking face on, he's deep in thought. Next we see him in a lab jacket, with those classic test tubes with red and yellow liquids inside. He mixes the and there's a huge explosion.)

Jack: Hmmm, I see..

(Jack then goes on the computer, he's analyzing charts and shit, he prints them out, and puts on some glasses. Then quickly takes them off, he's done analyzing the charts)

Jack: Hmmm, I see...

(We then see Jack in front of a giant chalk board with a giant math equation on it, he has a group of top scientists with him, they all look at it, they converse, they all nod, and Jack writes something on the board..)

Jack: Hmmm, I see..

Scientist: So you have your answer?

Jack: Perhaps... One more thing I must do..

(Jack goes online and searches Robbie V's Wikipedia.)

Jack: HOLY SHIT! ITS TRUE! THE V IN ROBBIE V's LAST NAME IS VENDETTA!!! ... Hmm never knew that.. Anyways..

(Jack takes off the glasses, and the lab coat and just walks outside and finds a nice shady tree to sit under.)

Hey guys, it's me, Jack Ripley, back again saying words at your face because it's what I like to do. All of you said stuff too, so I suppose I should answer some things that you said. Like my partner said, most of you said some generalized shit that you could've said to anyone. We're beneath you, we're peasants, mongrels, yeah, same old shit. You legit could say any of this to anyone, just recycle it, and it'll sound like new. You guys are lame for real, can you make any real statements against the High Rollerz that doesn't involve us having lack of competition? You know the way I see it, we're above you. You're lower class citizens revolting against us, because we have what you want. We're on top of the mountain, and you are the lowly peasants coming after us. I mean let's look at the facts, you take instructions from your mouthpiece Jaywalker, he says everything for you, and I can see why. None of you are very good at this talking thing, you really don't know what to say about us. I mean Lannister over there is saying how he struck a nerve with us, and really, he didn't. How could you strike a nerve when I don't even understand what the hell you're talking about. I mean the last time  you talked, you started mentioning one of the main topics that I spoke of saying that you'll get to it later, and you never did. You said you were going to debunk it, but you never did. You're a cuck Lannister, you watched your wife who's probably your sister daughter, mom, too, get fucked up, and now you're teaming with that guy. Those are the facts. And Ares, you said it will never be over between you two as long as you two are alive, those are also facts. But here you two simpletons are, fighting side by side. We've always wanted the greatest competition, and for a second I thought we had it. I mean look at your resumes, both ex World Champion, once revered as the best in the business. But dive a little deeper and we'll see just how Lannister won his title. By beating on the Pizza Boy after he just went through a grueling Extreme Elimination Chamber match to win the title. Lannister, do you remember that day? Obviously you do, because that was the day you and HBG lost in the final round of the TAG TEAM tournament. That's right, you lost that night in the scheduled bout for the titles that you try to claim now. So you had to take an unfair advantage and go on and beat on the 5 5' 100 pound Pizza Boy, and take his title. Some would call it smart, I would call it somewhat of a pussy move, but to each there own or whatever that saying is. You knew you couldn't actually beat him, and when he actually got his one on one match with you at the grandest stage of them all, you remember what happened? He beat you, and you lost that title. The funny thing is, all the while you said the same shit to him, that you're saying to us. He's beneath you, he's a peasant, he doesn't even belong in the same ring with you, he proved you wrong didn't he?  You'd think that an event like that occurring would make you stop and rethink some things, and have you change your perspective on viewing people as beneath you. But nope! You know what the definition of insanity is? It's to do something over and over again the same way, and expecting the result to change. So congratulations Lannister, you just might be insane. So go ahead Lannister, keep thinking your this impenetrable war machine that no one can touch, when it's far from the truth. We've seen what happens when you think of yourself in this holy untouchable way, and it works out in our favor. Some wrong information, from the incest cuck known as Lannister. You'd think you'd change your tune with us, seeing that we've actually beat you before, but hey, again, you're insane. And not in the oh he's dangerous, stay away from him kind of way. More in the.. Ok it's time to put grandpa in the home, kind of way. But moving on.

You know guys, the last 3 kings that got together, they were a really nice bunch. They went down to a manger in Bethlehem and they brought tidings of joy. Two of them were kind of a dicks and brought myrrh and frankincense. Like what you trying to say? Jesus was a smelly baby? Fuck outta here. I'm just playing. But yeah, those three kings did right by the world,. They wanted to make sure that baby Jesus was looked after, and helped on his journey through life. They knew that all men were created equal and everyone needs a little help at some point. They didn't think that they were above this poor family in the manger, they wanted to help.. Probably because Jesus was the son of god, but still. That's why I don't understand where you guys come from. They were actual royalty, they were actually born into a better life and lived that life for their entire lives. You three were just given the titles of King, by yourselves. And now that you have put these fake titles on yourselves you now think you're better than everyone. You're no kings, I mean you take instructions from Jaywalker. Also, you take instructions from the GM, seeing that he's our boss and all, how's a King going to take instructions from someone else? How's a King going to have a boss? You guys aren't shit.

I mean here Ares is just going on and on about the same old shit. Do you really think we're complacent? You think we're good with just going up against nobodies? Do you not listen to us talk? I literally said we'll take on anyone, and we want the best competition. I don't know how much more bluntly I can say it. We never chose who we went up against, it's not really under our jurisdiction seeing that we are in fact EAW contracted wrestlers. Meaning we do what our boss says. I mean like you said, this division is a waste land, we're king of the trash right? What do you want us to do with this? I mean I feel like a broken record right now. You're just saying the same exact things that your father said, that Brian Daniels said, that Haruna, and Azumi, and Finnegan Wakefield and Kelly Hackenschmidt... And every single human being in EAW ever says. we get it, the competition isn't that great. What do you want us to do about it? Nobody exists. That is until you two decided to join up, and look at that, when you challenged us, we accepted. Do you see how simple that was? Oh wow, what a concept. You mean to tell me when a team gets together, and actually gets in our face to challenge us we accepted it? No way! Yes way, because we're not running from anyone, we're not hiding, we've been here this entire year, waiting for someone to challenge us, to legitimately challenge us. But it's never happened, and honestly we're still waiting. Like I said, you guys were supposed to be that challenge but you're just like everybody else,  you're nothing special. That's the one gripe you have about our title reign, but like Tiberius ex partner said we are the GOAT. Teams come and go in this business, but the High Rollerz are here to stay. That's not a sign of weakness, it's not because we can't do it on our own, it's simply because we actually enjoy what we do. You do this for a paycheck, to come out here and want to be looked at as the best. We're here because we enjoy it, because it's fun.. We're living our dreams right now, we've wanted to be the Tag Team Champions together for as long as I remember, that's what we wanted. We put our minds together with the same common goal and we achieve it. If we wanted to have singles success we would have it. But that's not what we want, that's not the dream. That's not a weakness, it's not pathetic, it's our purgative, sorry you didn't grow up with someone with the same dream in mind. Sorry you don't have friends with the same skills as you and can't make it with them. Now you team with a guy who's wife you liked to beat on, lowering your level to him. I'm guessing at some point you viewed him as a mongrel too. I bet you didn't view him as a king back in the day yet here you are standing side by side. Opinions change don't they? You can keep spitting out the same old rhetoric that is boring as fuck, because I don't really care, it's all just opinion anyway. It's not like you've actually wrestled us before. Lannister has, we beat him. Your father has, we almost killed him. So really, who would have a better sense of reality, them? Or you. And I understand Lannister shares the same opinion, but he's a little misguided, we did drop him on his head a few times, he probably doesn't have a clear sense of reality, and the occurrences in question. Daddy's little boy Ares Vendetta, born into wrestling, practically given a job because his daddy is a legend. How hard did you even work for this? To be here? You have all strings pulled to get here, and now you look down upon people that might tactually have more skill than  you. Who clearly have more things to say, better points, more valid thoughts. Here you stand in front of actual wrestling royalty due to hard word and perseverance. It took us a month and a half to win these titles, and we don't plan to lose them to the likes of you. The one given everything. You will come to realize that you are beneath us in this tag team division, because that's how it is with everyone we face. There is no one better than us, we are the gold standard of tag team wrestling, and just because you have this skewed vision of the truth, doesn't change a damn thing. We'll put you out just like we did to your father, because your family is weak. You have the same fragile bones in your body that your father does. You're no different, the only difference between your dad and you, is 20 years. You will suffer the same fate that he did, broken and battered by the High Rollerz. It's runs in the family after all.

Now Tiberius, the best member of this faction. Like my partner said you brought up the most valid of points out of the group, and it wasn't just generic rhetoric. You do bring up a good point Tiberius, we don't have to be pinned to lose our titles. So we perhaps we should pay a little more attention to you, seeing that you are in fact the best out of the three bar none. This is just a tag team match on steroids however, and no matter the amount of people in a tag team match we will never falter in that situation. Like I mentioned before The High Rollerz are living their dreams, we had a goal set in mind that we wanted to become the best tag team this business has ever seen, and we've done that. Like your ex partner said, we are the GOAT. It didn't even take a year to get that title either. So within time, through the years, just imagine where our star rises to. Now you two, Drake and Jones have had your other motives, you went your separate ways, because tag team wrestling wasn't the be all end all for you. That was your mindset, having something more in mind. But The High Rollerz? We never have had that in mind, we have always wanted to just be The High Rollerz, and like I said I don't see that as a weakness, it's just what we wanted. Can you fault us for being so non ego driven that we don't care about our individual success? We will keep going, keep pushing on as a team, because we know we're far from being over. Years and years of High Roller success is a given, and it will never end. We're having too much fun to ever call it a career, they're going to have to drag our corpses out of that ring as we get taken to our graves, that's the only thing that can really stop us, death itself. But Tiberius, we wish Drake was still an active wrestler, we wish you two were still around to go up against us. You two are a team that is on our bucket list to not only face off with, but beat. But it doesn't look like that's going to happen. You're showing us that you're as advertised, you're showing us that you would be a challenge, Drake and Jones versus the High Rollerz would be a battle for the ages. But unfortunately, we're stuck with the shit storm that is the team of Ares, and Lannister. Boo hiss, I cry. Much apologies for the not paying that much attention to you before Tiberius, but now that you have my attention, you have my attention, and that's not good for you. There is no one on this planet that can step up against us, and actually beat us when we're in that ring together. We are poetry in motion, we are a gift from the tag team gods, and we prove that night in and night out. our win loss record shows how good we are, and  I know that you guys won't care about that, because the three of you together aren't on that list. But I feel that a 95% win percentage in tag team matches, says something. We have Theron's back, and he has ours. We are going into this battle together, and we're helping each other achieve exactly what we want. We wouldn't go into this war thinking that we are going into this at a disadvantage, we know we're the best. It'll take a lot more than some Burger Kings to take these titles off of us.

HOLD UP... I see some duck over yonder.. I've got some unfinished business to take care of... I'll talk to you guys later, I'm out.

(Jack gets up with the kick up, and starts sprinting at the pond... Camera fades to black.)

 
It’s always such an honor when I can get the read from The Queen’s tone that she’s so much more concerned about me than she really is with anyone else in this match. She’s attempting to put me on full blast as she usually does, but in all complete honesty she’s coming across completely flat. Let’s just paint it like it is, Aria. Nothing about you reaching for success disgusts me, and you know that. The truth is we’re both always reaching for success in our careers and that’s why we’re constantly intersecting paths in the way we do. And the thing is I’ll never be content with anything either. And that’s the whole dilemma, isn’t it? You want to be the best. I want to be the best. And the other truth is you seem to have a problem with everything I’ve done since last November, so isn’t it a tad bit self-righteous for you to attack me for disagreeing with anything that you do? We hurt each other, it’s just what we do. But like I said before, you need me more than you’d care to admit. Because we make magic in that ring, and that changes everything. You and Maddie last month, it was ok. It was an ok match. But the game changer was Cailin Dillon showing up after and dropping you like a chump. That’s all anyone really cared about that. And that’s just because of that magic that we do create together. It’s like a drug for people. They want more. They absolutely crave more. And maybe in some way we both do, too.
 
In the same way you’re trying to look like a bad ass and come at me, let me check things back with you. Did I have to ask you to zap the fuck out of Sheridan at Shock Value? No, I didn’t. Did I have to ask your permission for the OGs to decide to surround themselves around me? I didn’t even ask for it so of course not. Was I supposed to ask your permission to be a part of Pain for Pride alongside you? You might actually say yes to that one, but no. And did I need to stop and ask you for one fucking second if running alongside Eclipse’s family was right for my life and career? No, so seriously go fuck yourself. You stand there and tell me I’m wrong about everything and it’s all just opinions you don’t have to believe. But you’re no different, honestly. In fact, you’re so much more judgmental about the things I do than I am about you. The best part about this week is you have proven my points for me in the way you are so dismissive of the clear moments I show you respect. You say I’m obsessed, but you’re so obsessed with discrediting me that you go out of your way to show that extra bit of Aria shade and shove it in my face.
 
You know what I’m getting at with the queen thing. You’re the one they called the queen. They called you the queen after you were Vixen’s Champion and lost it in, what, a month? That’s not on you and I do admit that. But it’s an annoying affair to see you trumpet it around as not a nickname but a whole persona. Because what I just heard from you makes it sound like I should have been called the queen far before you. Do you know what I did long before you ever won that title? Of course you do. I defined an entire fucking title for this new generation. I beat the Vixens Champion and watched her walk out of there with her belt still safe between her arms. I defeated your precious Heart Break Gal, the queen of extreme, and shut her fucking mouth when she claimed my title. And you know what I dealt with long before you even heard it once? Months of her telling me I didn’t matter and I’d never make it. Months of her pleading with me to quit before I got myself hurt by her and Hexa-gun. And even today when her or her friend Cameron come face-to-face with me, it’s the same shit. They were always threatened by what WE did. That whole time period wasn’t just about you. It was about US and so many others that were taking significant steps to change the course of this division forever. Are you so dismissive of what I did to help the women in this division? Have you decided now that because you don’t like me any longer that this is your division and yours alone? Because I still think it’s ours. You might hate me, but we’ll always be sisters and only death can change that. We will always have a certain degree of love for each other, even if it’s cornered in by a currently immeasurable level of hatred. But I don’t hate you like you think I do. I’m just annoyed. Its never once felt like you were just trying to beat me. More like you were trying to overshadow me. Maybe because in the end you want this to all be YOURS. I’m not nearly the snake you make me out to be. Just a long lost friend trying to go her own way but still serve this division in the best way possible. You don’t have to like it, and you never will until I’m doing things exactly like you say I should, a step behind you and in my place.
 
How many times this week, Aria, seriously. How many fucking times this week am I going to have to say this isn’t about hurting you physically? Seriously. I thought there was a clear layer of sarcasm and humor whenever I mentioned incapacitating you. What the fuck would I do if you couldn’t fight anymore? Punch around Madison every other week? No, that’s really quite a drab conclusion to my career. The girl who defeated Madison Kaline 1,000s of times in boring fights. You have to admit. We are so similar it’s sickening. But also so different in other ways that it brings on a totally new level of nauseous feeling. We both claim to be super competitive people who just love to fight and refuse to quit. But that is why you need me. If you truly are this great legendary protagonist, I’m the antagonist in a story they won’t stop telling for years and years to come. Every single time we’ve fought, we one up ourselves from the time before. We bring new levels of competitiveness to the ring that they didn’t know possible. In the end of our careers we will still be those same to girls smashing light tubes over an EAW legend at Fighting Spirit 2, but maybe we’ll also be legends in ourselves. I don’t know. I used to worry about those things more. I used to truly care just how much people talked you over me when I felt we were more equals. And all those times you spent trying to ensure me that it wasn’t your shared opinion were just wasted worries. Because who the fuck cares about what they say about us in the future when we have too much to be written right here in the present? Fighting me isn’t about proving that you’re worthy of your place. It’s about making your heart beat that extra pace faster because of the excitement of the chase that boils within both of us. We always want to win.
 
Naturally we talk shit like one team us better than the other, and I think it’s a huge waste of our time to really spend our time comparing teams. It’s 5 on 5 but everyone is truly fighting for themselves in the end. If one person goes down, someone else has to pick up the slack and take over. There’s no new, exciting concept here. I could go down the line and talk about your teammates’ lack of success of their issues in this match. I mean Savannah is just as troubling as Sophia, isn’t she? In just one message Alexis completely clouded over what most of your team has said. But I’m not focused on what everyone else is doing. It’s not truly about leading this team through the fire. Once we hit that ring, all four of your teammates will be doing their own thing, too. No matter how much they promise you they’re on the same page as you. You think I’m obsessed? I think Alexis takes the cake with wanting to be the one that personally puts you down and makes her own stamp on this division. I’m just telling you things will be different. We both want to win so much, but as much as you think I am obsessed with beating you and ending this streak, you have your own fascination with making sure I don’t win so you can continue to hold it above my head. Because really that’s all you have at this point, Aria. Everything else you say is just filler until you can reach your ultimate punchline and mention your streak. And you know, your teammates have picked up on it, too. With all the mistakes they make in their own words towards me, all the wrong things they decided to focus on, they’ve now figured out my team has no chance to beat your team because I’ve lost a few matches in a row to you. But how many times have you really pinned me in a row now? Twice? It’s not some great long streak like you make it seem. There’s been some disappointments, but you know disappointment well. It’s as much an unwanted friend to you as it is to me, so what are you really trying to hit at with me? What are you really trying to say? Maybe it got lost in the shuffle when you were so concerned with proving me wrong. But I’ve just proven all you’re doing is saying things that apply to both of us. All you have is your one little kicker line. And when I personally pin you in this match and cause you to leave it or, worse yet, lose it. That’s gone. And then I set my sights on the title. Not because of obsession, but because that’s the next step. I’m sure you dream long and hard of holding that title tight between your fingers for months and months to come. But the truth is the clock is ticking on that, and your time comes to an end sooner than you expected.
 
April don’t ever make another interview with Erica Ford again. This is professional advice. You don’t have to take it of course, but soon you won’t be the Specialist’s Champion and then you’ll literally have nothing to do but scream out at people in interviews “But I made that person tap that time.” You being the champion is nice and all, but your time in the spotlight is quickly fading because you are so fucking stale. You think you’re hilarious because you have this whole bit where you talk about people and why you want to fight them and then you get all lit up and threaten to rip someone’s head off or crush their wind pipe. This is the ridiculous equivalent to the promise to destroy someone. I don’t need to destroy someone like April Song. All I need to do is bring so much chaos to her life that she realizes even in all of her growth over these last several months, she really hasn’t grown that much at all. I respect that you present a challenge to so many with just your size and technical understanding of holds in the ring. But past that there really isn’t a lot to you. You’re like a single layer onion. Once you peel back that first layer you see that there’s nothing there. And no one will care about your opinions on “The Coven” and no one will pay attention to your counter arguments about you being boring. Empire will kill you if you treat it as a joke. That’s what I see you doing right now, and it’s pretty despicable. You can disagree, but as a former Specialist’s Champion to a current one, clean up your fucking act and bring some actual dignity to yourself. The only destruction you’re about to bring is to yourself. It’s going to be so fun to watch your career completely blow up in your own face.
 
But fuck, this is why I keep telling you to just get your shit together and beat her, Consuela. Because Empire deserves better than this idiot. So to your questions since I’m feeling generous. Officially I defeated Aria in February. If that’s how you’re saying she “beat” me at Pain for Pride, right? If you’re going to talk about us really fighting head to head, well, it hasn’t even happened that much where a real result could happen. I don’t really know what you’re trying to get at still. I don’t think me losing to the Women’s Champion is the same as losing to April. Because April is terrible in like 30 different ways. She just has your number, and maybe Aria has had mine on a few occasions. Don’t try to act like your desire and readiness to fight makes you different or unique. I’m proud that you, of all the other people on your time, have stood up to this challenge for Territorial Invasion and really put yourself on the line. You are putting yourself out there to help your team win while some people can’t even be bothered to really show up, and others still are barely putting in effort. You’re doing this for the right reasons. Live all you want for the team, but at the end of the day you will have to do it for yourself because your own teammate doesn’t care about the team. And it’s not that I don’t care about my team and I’m doing this all for myself. I care about all nine of the other women in this match more than you probably even understand. My expectation for them is to be able to handle themselves. I can’t hold their hands, don’t deny that. They have to fight for themselves. And when they fall, I will fight for them. That’s not a promise to do this for myself. That’s a promise to do that for them. Don’t get it so confused, baby girl. For someone that things they’ve got me so pegged, you’re quite a bit further off than you realized. When MY team wins this match, I’m going to make sure I did everything possible to make that result happen. All for the best of my team.
 
Madison. What the fuck are you talking about? Who am I using? Did you watch Pain for Pride when the Sanatorium abducted me after the match? Did you? Nah, you just need something hammer home some kind of false point. You call yourself a sister and a part of the family, but you roll Alexis under the bus in two seconds for the chance to somehow look tougher than her. You aren’t all that tough. And the 2017 version of Madison only started acting like she was the best thing since Amazon launched when she won the Divide and Conquer match at Pain for Pride. There was this fire lit under you where you became even worse than you ever were before. And I hear you’re trying to make people like you more or crowds like you more or something. But you’re way more full of shit than you ever were before and you’re way more of an egotistical bitch than ever before. The thing is you can’t back that shit up. If I met you in this year’s Empress of Elite finals I would beat you once again and make history. The third time’s the charm? No way. You can’t just wake up one day and claim the past never happened because you’re turning a new leaf and you’re going to pretend to be some sort of a star now. I’m quite pleased you’ve never liked me because the feeling has always been mutual. I remember one time you went out of your way to say I was only a champion because I hadn’t fought you. Fucking idiot, I challenged you right then and there and you said I wasn’t worth it. It’s 2017 and people talk about this division as Aria and Cailin. You can deny that all you want. But it’s not Team Madison. It’s Team Aria. And you aren’t the No. 2 top dawg facing her and leading the other team, either. I’m not fading away and I’m not falling back. So good luck watching me from behind while I continue to stand right here near the top, and you continue to slowly slide toward the bottom until you reinvent yourself for the eighth fucking time, only to fail once again. I have to laugh at your flip flop you irrelevant idiot. Last month you said I was jealous because attention was on you 24/7. Now you’re pissed at me and claim attention has to be on me 24/7. I don’t demand attention. I don’t ask for attention. The light that shines on me comes from what I do in the ring alone. And when you can figure out how to do that yourself, try coming back at me again.
 

Once again, I’m seeing a lot of really stupid shit happening this week and all it’s doing is making me anxious to get in the ring and get a couple of you the fuck out of this thing so a real match can begin. This should be a huge match with 10 of the top Empire talents squaring off, but its turned into some of you taking roads so low or directions so wrong that you’re embarrassing Empire all on your own. At least when this match comes to an end you can say you were a part of it.  This match is going to be so incredible, and I have faith my team will do what is needed to come out of Territorial Invasion with the victory. And I have just as high faith that some of you are going to seriously fucking up your own nights in this match. Sorry, not sorry. The right team is winning this match and that will be so delicious. Team Cailin has this bitch in the bag.

Territorial Invasion Promo 3: Pulp Non-Fiction

The camera opens on Pizza Boy standing silently in a corner of the warehouse as Fertility Lynch and Rhea Dire Wolf run drills in the ring.  He studies them silently, but there seems to be a glint of fear and apprehension behind his eyes as he occasionally tries to raise his hand and get his trainers attention.  Finally Lynch and Rhea roll out to the floor to grab some water.  Rhea chugs generously  with the bottle clasped squarely between her teeth as Lynch merely throws her head forward and pours a jug into her red locks.  PB sidles up to her and raises a hesitant finger.  Without even flipping her hair up out of her face, she acknowledges him.

Fertility Lynch: What?

PB: I...I uhm...

Fertility Lynch: Oh dear god, you're not perving off to this are you? I mean, if you are you're paying.

Rhea's eyes grow big as she continues to suck water down like a camel.  PB blushes and turns back to Lynch.

PB: Nononononono I uh...can we talk without Rhea here?

Fertility Lynch: No.

PB: But-but-but it pertains to your line of work and your...uh...'job security'.

Fertility Lynch: Oh.  In that case, no.

PB darts his head around and grabs Lynch by the arm.  She sighs and lets herself get drug a mere few feet away as the paranoid PB shifts his eyes like a shell shock victim looking for the enemy in the tree line.

PB: Eclipse says that uh he has dirt on you.

Fertility Lynch: Oh.  So?

PB: He's got DNA.

Fertility Lynch: *sigh*...do you know how many of me are out there right now? I mean, they're NOT me, but they think they're me.  Do you know?

PB: Ummmm no, no I do not know.  I wasn't made aware of that being a thing.

Fertility Lynch: It is.  To spare you some boring mythos, there are multiple desert cults just outside of Nevada brainwashing a new 'Lynch' every day.  Your former trainer? Tony? Technically a failed Lynch left out in the desert to die.  His wife? Also someone brainwashed to be me, and that's not even counting the poor bottle gingers out there trying to pass of as me just to get away from having to deal with pimps or having to worry about getting their throats slit by some John.  I have no doubt that there's a Lynch out there who'd definitely fall into Eclipse's circle of loons, and I have zero question as to whether they'd ask for his services on occasions, but it ain't me kid.  I don't have DNA.  

PB blinks at this last statement.  He looks down for a moment, before deciding to further pursue his line of questioning.

PB: Oh...and uhhhh why is that?

Lynch holds her hands out to her side and shakes her head in 'duh' frustration.

Fertility Lynch: Um, gee, I don't know? Maybe because I'm the immortal patron saint of excess and debauchery?

PB:...?

Fertility Lynch: I swear, you Catholic types are really holiday crusaders aren't ya? Never heard of Mary Magdalene and her daughter Fertility?

PB: Riiiight...RHEA!

Rhea hops into frame, free handedly sucking down the last morsel of water in the bottle.  PB turns to the smallteen in the wolf fur hoodie, then to Lynch who stands looking offended with her arms crossed, and then to the cameras.  In a moment of self-awareness, PB's eyes glaze over in momentary clarity.

PB: What kind of people do I surround myself with?...OK, I'm going to go visit Bo and Tye now alright? I need some normalcy.  

Fertility Lynch: We're not done training.

PB: I know, I know, I-I just need a breath of fresh air.  

As Pizza Boy slowly backs out of the warehouse, Rhea and Lynch give one another a glance.  Rhea finally spits the water bottle out, letting it sail through the air like a projectile before timidly looking down and fidgeting with her wolf hoodies tail.

Rhea Dire Wolf: Was any of that true?

Fertility Lynch: No, but you can't tell those secular types that you're some demigod predating their dogma without getting into a fist fight over it.

Rhea Dire Wolf: OOOOkay.  I'm going to go lay down in my box.

Lynch holds her hands out to her side and sighs as Rhea backs slowly into her shipping crate and closing the lid behind her.  Cut to outside where Pizza Boy's making his way up the road on foot as the cameras follow close behind.

PB: I don't like being threatened, Eclipse.  I think you realize that as you try to cast aspersions from the dark while claiming you wouldn't do such things. It's quite the cowardly act for a 'god'.  So you're not going to be a 'monster', huh? You think you hold any power over that decision? For one, we've established that you're cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs and hold no bearing over your own will.  Then there's the fact that I've debunked the existence of your 'monster'.  A monster can't hurt you if you don't believe in it. The only damage it does is psychological self-harm to those who believe in it.  Your entire threatening demeanor is a state of mind and nothing more.  You can't worm your silver tongue into my ear and therefore you can't make me believe there's something out there worth hurting myself over.  This is why I've already beaten you.  I don't mean that in some strange Bobby Fischer calling his moves four in advance crypticism  either: I've beaten you.  I've pinned you to the mat for the three.  I've killed whatever boogieman was initially there for me and seen the sad and broken man beneath it all.  I didn't mean to insult you when I said I pitied you.  I meant it.  I think you're a disturbed man whose had disturbing things happen to him, and I understand that coppery taste of vengeance stuck to the side of your mouth like a canker sore.  It's painful, but you just can't help pressing your tongue into it over and over again.  You want justice, but your sick mind has diluted itself so much that you believe you can find rest in a victory over me.  You wont. This championship will only give you more sleepless nights as more and more competitors come at you with a bigger scalpel than I'm packing.  They'll cut into you, use your madness against you, and feed into your insecurities, because this monster of yours only exists in your head and can only harm you.

Pizza Boy passes between two women holding hands while crossing an intersection.  They both look back at him as he storms across, then at each other.  They scoff and continue walking.

PB: You're not wrong.  We've both been used and abused for the financial benefit of others.  Barney wasn't a father to me.  He still isn't, and I never saw him as one.  I never bought into the delusion, even when he started to buy into it himself.  Tony doesn't love me.  If anything, Tony found it amusing to mess with.  All he ever taught me was how to do a bulldog from any conceivable angle.  I suppose that's what idiot savant do when a challenge bores them, but it still doesn't excuse things.  And Percy? Don't get me started on Percy.  Percy was the worst of the bunch.  He was always the one who kept me around with his convincing rhetoric and fast talking.  However, the difference between them and your tormentors is the fact that when they were put in peril I didn't stand idly by.  I showed mercy, Eclipse.  I showed compassion, even when they had none to spare for me. Would you do the same? In the end, they tried to take our humanity, but only one of us walked away from our experience upright on their hind legs.

PB makes his way past a seedy looking woman on a street corner.  She chomps down on a cigar, inhales, and breathes out a smoke ring in his face.  PB tries to avert his eyes from hers as she kicks one hooker boot covered foot up against a light post, and lets the other prop her up in a lean.  With a raspy voice she tries to beckon Pizza Boy over for a good time.  He blushes, but keeps walking as the woman lets out a half-cough/half-laugh.

PB: Lynch...you might know Lynch from your time in the asylum.  That and that alone is something you might be able to convince me. Apparently you know her better than I do anyway  She has made it clear that she's not above murder.  I don't know though...I think I'm safe around her...Maybe she likes me? or maybe she thinks I'm not worth wasting a bullet.  It's more likely she doesn't want to jeopardize whatever cash flow Barney's sending her to get me into actual ring shape after two years of struggling to survive.  I can't pretend to know her motives, but I somehow doubt she's sloppy enough to leave behind any sort of DNA evidence, even if she thinks she's some sort of lost apostle or whatever.  You've given me something to worry about with her, just not what you intended.

A bus whizzes by the camera filled with women in choir gowns.  The sound of singing and tambourine banging emits from the bus's open windows, but quickly fades away as the bus disappears off camera.

PB: And Rhea.  Rhea's almost more of a victim than I am.  She's told me some harsh dojo hazing stories, but at least they taught her how to fight.  She's almost the bizarro me.  Ninteen, abandoned by her folks, sent to what they thought was going to be a fancy overseas boarding school at the age of nine that turned out to just be a joshi academy.  That's a crazy life.  I can't talk though I suppose.  Neither can you, Eclipse.  I guess you and I both understand that family is what you make it.  Maybe I can bring her out of her shell...er...crate and teach her how to love herself, and that others are capable of love...platonic ally, of course.  I mean, she's pretty, and legal, and I'm only like 3 years older than her, and why am I telling you about any of this? Can-can we edit that out?

Camera Man: Ummmm....

As the camera man decides on the fate of Pizza Boy's public image, a red convertible veers onto the curb and nearly takes him out from behind.  He jumps into the arms of a surprised Pizza Boy as PB stares with mixed emotions at the person behind the wheel.

Fertility Lynch: The kid and I are going out for ice cream.  You in or what?

PB: You know you're crazy, right?

Fertility Lynch: What? Oh. Uh, sorry camera dude.  Didn't mean to almost sideswipe you I guess...PB, ice cream.  Now.  C'mon.

Camera Man: Can you put me down please?

PB: Oh, sorry.  Um, I'm not in the mood for ice cream. I just had my friends lives threatened for the second time since getting into wrestling so, uh, no? I need to go talk to Bo and Tye.

Fertility Lynch: You'll only frighten them over the idle threat of a crazy person.

PB: Do you know him?

Fertility Lynch: No.  Get in the car.

PB: What are you?

Fertility Lynch: I told you.  I'm a hooker assassin who might be immortal.  Car. Now.

PB: Do you realize how insane that sounds?

Fertility Lynch: Do you realize how insane you sound? I mean, my god you must be rolling in money, but you're still making pizzas on weekend and whining when you're replaced by someone who needs the dough,and yet you're somehow a man of the people?

PB:...

Fertility Lynch: Get in the car.

PB: OK, but first you have to tell me something.

Fertility Lynch: Is it 'how to open a car door?'

Rhea snorts from the passenger seat.  PB glowers as his face turns red with anger.

PB: Have you ever told me anything truthful about yourself? I mean, like irrefutably the truth? because your whole 'thing' seems like a lie to me, and I'm not getting in that car with a lie, or worse, a loon who believes in her own lies.

Lynch sighs and looks over at Rhea, whose watching 'mommy and daddy' fight from a curled up fetal position in the passenger's seat.  Rhea smiles from behind her knees and shrugs before turning her attention to something behind her.  Lynch glances in the rear view, smiles, and then cuts her eyes at the timid Rhea in the mirror.  With a confident turn of the head, Lynch stares down a waiting Pizza Boy.

PB: Well?

Fertility Lynch: Look behind you.

PB: What is that supposed to mean?

Fertility Lynch: Just do it.  Look behind you.

Rhea Dire Wolf: Hehe, yeah.  Look behind you ya doof.

PB ponders these words for a moment.  He smiles back at Rhea trustingly, then turns his body to look down the path he's just strode down.  He scowls for a moment, trying to process what he's seeing, before his lips part with an even bigger smile as a single tear rolls down his cheek.  He turns to Fertility, then to Rhea.  They exchange knowing glances.  Pizza Boy begins to say something, but then unexpectedly they all simultaneously giggle.  Without saying a word, PB hops into the back seat and buckles up.  Lynch takes one last glance in her rear view mirror, idles off of the curb, and then speeds off, leaving the cameraman behind.  His lens follows them as they leave until they're nothing but a cloud of dust in traffic. It then turns back down the sidewalk where about three blocks down a bus full of redheaded druids exits onto a corner where a fairly weathered and tanned to leather ginger props up on a light post like a straw man outside of a courthouse, and almost a mile and a half away, if you squint you can almost see a pair of redheaded twins just go over the horizon hand in hand as they make their rounds around the neighborhood.

 
So looks like April and Sophia hate each other a lot, at least it lets them do something instead of watching around for the rest of the week. Speaking of watching on the sidelines, been a while since I spoke. Time to throw out some verbal insults like it’s nobody’s business, time to build more self-hype because your Queen Of Whatever-Guard is kind of right. I’m only in this for three things right now, that sweet FPV bonus, making a statement for this match and doing something during a weekend in this hell hole of a place called Russia. Now I’m already getting the two out of three because of this match already THANK GOD but that last one, it’s going a little bit of hard work. For some people, this might be new concept when they think of me, but those people have yet to realize that the real workhorse of EAW is yours truly right here. I personally have the right to say that because it’s a truth filled fact. You really can’t say that people who got a title when they beat the champ on a lucky day way before the champ actually won the belt. Isn’t that right, April? What a weird way for management to give a title shot to someone. Oh, wait! BOTH of our champs got their titles because of BS like that. Well one of them was from Cleopatra but then you realize that pretty much Tarah Nova is acting like Cleo when it comes to giving out title shots these days on Empire!
 
But you still have no right to talk, April. You still seem like one of the biggest pain in my neck these days. You HAVE Erica Ford still getting some dumb amount of spotlight because of April not knowing there are other and probably better interviewers that don’t suck absolutely suck at letting their partner down but really to tell you the truth April. I had my headphones blasting music instead of listening to what you’ve had to say about me because it’s going to be the same thing over and over and over again. Like first you’ll say that you respect them and then just feel like you don’t seem like the biggest nice girl in the room, you’ll talk trash about them. It’s a formula that’s CONSTANTLY done by you. There’s nothing to change it up and it’s actually quite boring when you think about it but I guess when you seem like the biggest military junkie in EAW then you’ll start to just have everything in a basic formula. First sucker them in with nice comments about you respect them and crap followed big shots, disrespecting them.
 
It’s quite a pathetic little strategy to get some sort of advantage in a match where you’re just a side player. Nothing more then a supporting character for this match.
 
To make a weird nerd based reference here, April Song like a generic shounen anime, follow the same formula and takes WAY TOO LONG to get to a point and that might be a thing for most of Empire. Meanwhile, I’m like a cult classic, an episodic tale, constantly getting better and better with each new episode. Think of me like Cowboy Bebop to her Fighting anime. Just so much better!
 
And if you’re not concerned about me then please don’t be, it’s not going to matter to you if I win this whole match, become one of the survivors and possibly even eliminate you from this contest.

 
Enough of that, so I can talk about someone I haven’t spoken about in my whole time in EAW… I think. The literal definition of someone who has yet to actually grow up, Savannah Sunshine. It’s actually quite amazing that you’re still in EAW after what seems like a while since you’re original hype died off.
 
The whole “OMG, SHE’S SO CUTE AND CUDDLY” hype died when people saw that she couldn’t the big level competition but yet she’ll give it her all in this match. She’ll push on through and become some sort of big factor in this match against Team Cailin…. NOPE! No, Nah uh and finally NEVER! And why because Savannah is stuck in this happy-go-lucky mentality, nothing is going to stop her from having a wonderful time or crap like that. See Savannah is pretty much a Disney princess, her heart of gold will save this kingdom but I guess that makes me or even my teammates The Villian of this fairy tale, huh? Hell, I think I like the idea of being a Villain, dream-kil—sorry I forgot that’s the nickname of my team “captain” but yeah, the idea of being a Villain does intrigue me, I wonder how many little Russian kids will cry once Savannah is eliminated from the match? Will her teammates care?
 
No, because none of the two teams for this match are actually going to be loyal to each other, well except Alexis and Cailin but that’s to each other and that’s it!! If we look at the side of my opponents, we see a pink hair Cali-girl who just seems to be interested in winning, a twin who just wants win back her title, an ex-whatever who’s currently the Specialist Champ and seems more interested in facing Sophia AGAIN, Choke Artist Maddie who seems to be more interested in dealing with Alexis, and Savannah who has the best chance of being eliminated first. Meanwhile, I have to deal with Vexx who’s got the best chance of being eliminated first, a team captain who wants to kill Aria, a comeback who done nothing interesting since coming back, and Psycho Mom who’s interested more in getting Maddie on the dark side. So I don't know which is more annoying, my "team" or opponents?
 
And finally yours truly, the one who’s pretty much bored right now talking about everyone else in this match because it’s too much time-consuming. The one who doesn’t care about any single soul on the Empire active roster right now, The One & Only Ace of Empire, I’m pretty much the only person here who just wants to make a statement by winning.

So personal vendettas, no revenge, no jealousy, I’m just here in this match to win it all without giving a crap about any one of you.
 
And as I always say, if you didn’t like anything I said. You can simply…
 

Assen~Na Yo!

Couldn't help but notice my name being mentioned and I don't really care to intrude but all this talk of time winding down is kinda boring me. This match is boring, no one cares for the Triumvirate, no one cares for Theron's revenge now that he has allies to die with him. I want to like this guy, honestly I really do, and it goes without saying that I'm not even involved in this snooze fest  and my name is being talked about which shows that I'm on Theron's mind. Personally, I hope they kill each other, I hope they all burn until they are helpless so I can swoop in and pick their carcasses clean, the way Theron thinks is the way every snot nose dork thinks. “Your time is winding down, your obsolete, it's past your prime, your on borrowed time” blah, blah, blah, all the shit they say when someone is a threat. I was that snot nose little punk, I saw Mr. DEDEDE come back, Robbie V, hell Jaywalker himself returned and I was saying the same ole lame ass shit. Till I saw Mr. DEDEDE getting on cards I had to fight my whole life to get on, till I saw Robbie V instantly get a Heavyweight Championship match along with myself, and until I saw Jaywalker win himself a 4th World Heavyweight Champion. I had to learn shit the hard way, Theron and it seems you want to take the same path. I'll give it to ya, you beat me, whoopty fucking doo, you won a match on Showdown against Diamond Cage but is that win going to mean shit if you go out there and get your ass kicked which is a strong possibility, that win won't mean shit son. You speak of smoke and mirrors, your like everyone. You try to be different with your lame ass shtick of speaking like some martyr, your lame ass entrance, and your lame ass fur coat. But your just like every other punk,  you can't deny it. Your expendable.

I understand why there is confusion, “Diamond Cage you aren't even involved in this match, why do you feel the need to throw your two cents in?” well to be completely honest with you, I don't give a fuck about not being in this match. I have something to say and someone is going to listen whether they like it or not. Revenge... Oh sweet revenge, derailed, my taste, put on hold momentarily because of this stupid match. A match that is over shadowed by a guy who is going to fight his fucking girlfriend for a heavyweight championship, this company sure has sunk ya know, all this reality tv bullshit has taken this company by storm. I want no parts, I simply want chaos, I need chaos, I need destruction around me, hell I may need to be destroyed myself. Because I've been holding in this rage, this unbridled aggression to get my revenge with interest, to cooperate, to work within the system. This is the message you teach people? To follow the rules? Screw the rules, screw this No Way Out match and screw Territorial Invasion. Brian Daniels has this WONDERFUL idea to reward those fucking cowards by letting them fight for a championship? He allows Ares and Lannister, the two men who conspired against me, TO GET IN THIS MATCH! And I had to earn my way? I have no problem earning it but your letting the scumbags run the asylum, you said the inmates don't run the asylum, but you let these pieces of trash walk around here like they own the fucking place? I smell hypocrisy, but eh it's just that normal EAW stench, that foul smelling shit that's been around here since the dawn of this fucking company. But oh, I've made it clear that the games soon come to an end, someone is going to have to pay dearly, a match with Lannister on Showdown isn't enough, as much as I enjoyed driving his head into the canvas, I want to feel his body go completely limp, I want his lower extremities to not function correctly for the rest of his life so every time he tries to move them he thinks of Diamond Cage. I want to punch the teeth out of the mouth of Ares Vendetta so he drinks his meals through a straw and every time he says 'mongrel' it sounds like barking. I want to take my time with Jaywalker, I want to jaywalk all over his body with barbwire wrapped around my fucking boot and then I want to take said barbwire and wrap it around his throat, thus paying him back for being such a piece of shit. And Tiberius, I just want your title, and Theron if you win it, I'll want your title. All these wants, yet what am I left with? Nothing. I have to sit on the sidelines while those who have wronged me have a chance to obtain gold?

Talk about controversy.

(We start this promo off with an emotional David backstage. He goes to take a seat in The R.A.D. Betting Agency. He takes a moment to look at everything around him. Just appreciating life itself. It’s really that deep. He opens his laptop and skypes his mom and dad.)

Papa Davidson: Oh no, what’s wrong son?!

David: Nothing really. Just gonna die. Saying my goodbyes. Hey dad did the Dodgers win last night?

Momma Davidson: Wait, what are you talking about? 

David: Just then I wish my name was Willis. Would have made me laugh. But I’m talking about my match this week. I’m facing kings. They have made it clear that this is the end of the road for me. Who am I to question them, huh? They are kings in a professional wrestling company…it means something, I think. I mean not really, but sure. You don’t see me going to Burger King and questioning their Whoppers…would be ridiculous. His name is literally Burger King. King of the burgers. Although I got one of those paper crown things there so I’m a king now too. But yeah, it’s been real mom and dad. Thanks for always being there for me. If you weren’t I would have been training in Japan with dude’s names tattooed on me and would be mad at the world and call people mongrels or something. Or better yet I would have been in a household with a sister that I would later fall in love with. Yeah I know her and I aren’t blood related but the fact we grew up together would still feel like incest. She’ll have one name right, perhaps a name beginning with C, but then she’ll reveal she was actually Jack’s sister all along or something. It would be stressful. Would probably lose hair because of it and would refer to myself as David and not me or I. 

Papa Davidson: Oh okay. I don’t even know what you’re talking about. 

David: Yeah that last sentence you said is what I say to myself every time I listen to the three kings talk. But what I said was subtle shots at my opponents. Ares and Lannister. Since I’m gonna die I don’t care anymore. I’ll mock them as much as I want. 

Momma Davidson: Who is Ares and Lannister?

David: Um you’re kidding right? Everybody knows who they are. They said so. They are household known.  

Papa Davidson: Oh I know Lannister. 

David: Thank you dad! I knew you would know!

Papa Davidson: He’s a midget right? 

David: Um what?

Papa Davidson: His name is like Tyrone. 

David: Damn it dad, no. You’re embarrassing me. Anyways I gotta go. Make sure to pick out the sickest casket for me. I want a small tv and AC in that bitch. And a small fridge. Stocked with blue Powerade because we are working on a sponsorship. Later. 

(The interviewer stumbles onto the scene. He’s sweating heavily even though it’s actually kind of cold where David is sitting.)

David: Interviewer…

Interviewer: David…what’s going on?

David: Saying goodbye to my loved ones. 

Interviewer: Oh no! I don’t want to hear you tell me goodbye. 

David: Well that’s a relief because I was never going to say it to you. I don’t love you. You are the worst. The Triumvirate should recruit you so I can actually get angry at what they say instead of just shrugging it off for the most part. I was going to say goodbye to my older brother Harley but..

Interviewer: Wait your brother’s name is Harley?

David: Um yes. 

Interviewer: So your brother is Harley Davidson? 

David: Um yes. Way to connect the dots, Sherlock. 

(David gets up and begins to walk around the betting agency and stoop. He sees the camera crew coming towards David as he readjusts his title on his right shoulder.)

David: Seeing as how I’m a dead man walking, I need to use the precious time I have left in this world very wisely. So what did I do first? I listened to The Triumvirate...talk. I caught myself there. I was going to say I listened to The Triumvirate spill their guts but well…they have none, awkward. So since I’m about to be placed six feet under, I now realize that listening to you three spew your constant hot garbage is the exact opposite of what I should be doing with my time. Oh well. I couldn’t think straight at the time. I’m about to die, man. Don’t judge me. Overall, what the three of you said was very expected. Just very generalized and vague statements all around, especially from the cuck and Robbie V’s son. You left a lot to be desired. You left nothing to the imagination. Just like you left no hidden Easter eggs. But what you did leave behind was many stones unturned. I’ll admit that at first, I was a little frustrated with the three of you. Just a little. But, after much thinking, I’ve finally come to terms with how this week will play out. When I say that, I’m not exactly talking about the match itself. I’m talking about the days leading up to your inevitable demise. So far we have made our intentions known. We have stated our opinions loud and clear. Crystal, even. Our opinions are clashing with yours. Just buzzing in a blender. What this boils down to is the three of us believe we will win this match and walk away with all three titles around our waists, while on the other side, the dark side, the three of you believe you’ll win. Right? Cool, let’s pack it up. We are done here. See you at Territorial Invasion. But then again, where is the fun in that? We are all EAW employees here. Yes, even you “kings”. We are contractually obligated to promote our matches. This being no different. Which is 100% true. This match is no different. I don’t care about this stipulation. I don’t care that Theron and Tiberius will also be locked in this prison barred cage like structure with us. Our titles are on the line. Which means all bets are off. That’s even coming from a gambling gentleman. You think you three are resilient? Bitch please. Don’t make me laugh even more. Like I said before, you are messing with the wrong ones. 

(David takes a seat on the third step of the stoop. David looks to his right for a few seconds before continuing. He smirks.)

I feel like I’m not supposed to be enjoying this. Like I should be shaking in fear. With my fingernails completely chewed off and my pants soaked in piss. The warning signs are there. The flashing lights, telling me to turn around. But instead I’m just going to keep chuffing along. Just like the Girl Scouts I’m not buying what you’re selling. Fuck thin mints. Hear that? I just became the most hated man in this universe. So how many, Triumvirate? How many circles will you walk in before you finally get dizzy and realize that you have yet to say anything with substance? You’re on repeat. All three of you. All saying the same ol’ shit. What’s the go to again? Oh right, this whole “we don’t stand a chance against you guys because your talent is nonpareil” thing. Look at you strutting around. Boasting about accomplishments. Telling us who you’ve beaten and how we don’t even compare to them. That we are doomed. There may be some truth in there somewhere. If I crouch down and really squint my eyes, perhaps there is small diamond surrounded by the lumps of coal. Sure, as singles wrestlers, you’re all established. I’m not here to dispute that. I mean you have one current world champion and two former ones and oh yeah your leader is perhaps the greatest EAW extremist of all time. Yes, extremist, not elitist. Thought I should clarify there. But as a unit? You haven’t done a damn thing. Just like Jack, Theron, and myself haven’t done a damn thing as a trio…other than cost that cuck a win this past Saturday on Showdown. How does my boot taste by the way?? Compose yourself David, compose yourself. Yet, even with this mysterious and unproven alliance that we have formed with Theron, I feel good about it. Perhaps I could be saying that because I have no other choice but to my faith in him, but it’s truly genuine. He’s talented. He’s climbed up the ranks rung by rung and already has a world title match under his belt. Perhaps the fastest rising star in EAW history. So he can carry his own weight. Just like The High Rollerz. It’s also nice how we won’t have to worry about Theron’s true motives. Listen to just about any other person that’s booked for TI. Those in the elimination tag matches. The first thing that most of them say is something like, “I’m only doing this for myself. I don’t give a fuck about my teammates. If they get in my way, god help them.” Paraphrasing of course. So like I said, there are no trust issues on this team. Could the same be said about yours? I’m not so sure. 

So let’s get the ball rolling here. Once again I’m going to start with Tiberius and get him out of the way. Here’s a fun fact, my ears actually prefer his words compared to Robbie Jr. and the bald headed cuck’s. Why? Perhaps it’s because Tiberius is more blunt. More straightforward. He makes a point and moves on. There is no hidden agenda. What you see is what you get type of thing. I dig it. Also I don’t feel like I have to decipher his words unlike the other two sloots, so that’s a plus. First of all, before I formally get started with you Tiberius, I must say, you are quite the inspiration. Going from a cameraman, who probably worked with the interviewer that is always bothering us…oh god, I’m so sorry…but as I was saying you went from a cameraman to a King of Elite, and now a world champion. They didn’t think you could do it! Everybody expected Drastik or O’Hara to take that crown, but you didn’t let it get to you. The lack of cheers didn’t poison your brain and stop your momentum. You went out there and you won. You’re a winner. But perhaps your greatest accomplishment is when you beat Kevin Devastation in a retirement match…only for him to return like two months later. Retirements in professional wrestling, especially in EAW, are so stupid for that reason. They should no longer exist because there is always that one guy that doesn’t understand that he’s no longer welcomed here, but comes back anyways and acts right at home. Someone start a petition damn it! With that said, allow me to end my tangent there. Back to you, Tiberius. I appreciate that you are willing to have an actual discussion here. Meanwhile your stablemates refuse. They hear our words loud and clear coming from my stentorian voice…yet they act as if they are plugging their ears with their index fingers and yelling at the top of their lungs, “NANANA CAN’T HEAR YOU!” So circle around and let’s have this book club discussion on the novel, “Tag Team Wrestling: GOAT Edition.”

Now, let’s just state how we feel. You think the Drake & Jones Law Firm was the greatest tag team in EAW history, while we say nah, that’s us. You’re fighting teams such as RoViper to claim the runner up ribbon. But in all honestly, perhaps it’s a little premature to call ourselves the GOAT of this division. I mean we haven’t even been in EAW for a full year yet. Yet our results and accolades speak for themselves. It makes you wonder what we can accomplish in two years. Or three years, or five. And we will find the answer to that in due time. See, that’s where we differ from every other team in EAW history. The titles that we hold tight in our possession are the only titles that matter to us. Singles success? Yeah we could achieve that shit. But that’s not our goal. That’s not where our attention is located. We came into EAW as a tag team and we will leave as a tag team. Then when our careers are over, we can carefully dissect what we accomplished as a team and it will be clear as day that Drake & Jones, RoViper, the other two members of Hexa-Gun…will all pale in comparison to what we did. The answer you seek today will be clear cut in the future. We are the greatest tag team in EAW history. We just told you ahead of time. Whether you chose to listen up or not is up to you, young grasshopper. But let’s expand even further. Championships aren’t the only factor when determining who the GOAT is. I see you made a sports reference, so allow me to make my own. Yeah sports is kind of in my wheelhouse. Let’s even stick with the Michael Jordan theme. He’s the GOAT of basketball, yes? I think that’s something the both of us can agree on. We don’t have to get all Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless in this bitch. But Michael Jordan is the GOAT. Jordan won six titles. Robert Horry, a decent rotational player, had seven. Now, does that make Robert Horry the GOAT? I don’t believe so. So like I said, there is more to this than championships, even though we are already on reign number two as the EAW Unified Tag Team champions. 

Longevity is also a big slice of the pie. There are so many sports stars, including EAW elitists that got the attention of fans all over the globe. They said to themselves that this man or woman is special. They could very well change the landscape of this sport. But something happens. Whether it’s an injury or they just forget how to play or they are just flat out a flash in a pan…something prevents them from reaching that superstar status. Guys like Michael Jordan, guys like Michael Phelps, guys like Tom Brady, and Ali all had something called consistency. Sure, they had an off game or race or fight from time to time, but they managed to learn from their mistakes and continue on with their legacy. You could count on them. Just like you can count on us. But if you truly want to settle this debate, then let’s have The High Rollerz vs Drake & Jones in the middle of that ring. I know, I know…that’s a low blow because Drake is unable to compete and is now stuck behind the commentary’s desk, getting paid to talk about the likes of Jack Ripley and myself. Now perhaps there is a way around this. Perhaps you can butter up John Doe, convince him to team with you, have him put on Drake Jaeger’s tights and I don’t know man, I don’t think most people could spot the difference. This is why you can afford to chirp on and on about how Drake and Jones is this superior team. You have these what ifs and hypotheticals to fall back on. There is no risk seeing as how we will never get this match to prove you wrong. But if Drake magically gets cleared to compete, then I’m going to take a wild guess and say that tone in your voice wouldn’t be as deep and your mind wouldn’t be so sure of the outcome. Oh right we are also wrestling this weekend. So yeah the three of us are going to beat the three of you. Take that. Now I can’t be accused of going completely off topic, even though you were the one who started this conversation. Mom he started it!!!!

Then there is the cuck, Lanny. Fucking hell, please do me a favor and get a Lannister translator for me because I don’t understand what he’s going on about most of the time. Just pipe down, Lanny. This is David time. So from what I could gather, which wasn’t very much because for the most part you make zero sense, which I won’t fault you for since you’re from Germany and everything. Just like how I gave Haruna a break. I’m just a swell fellow like that. So as for the actual content embedded in your speech…well, let’s just say you spun a very good yarn. You stayed true to your shtick. You laid out this foundation with your usual abstruse style. As the words come out of your mouth, your face remained impassive. The presentation of Lannister itself is perhaps the most impressive thing about you. Is that a compliment? An insult? I’ll allow you to decide. Perhaps what impressed me the most this time around is how sloppy you were when you were trying to go from one point to another. For example, saying you managed to strike a nerve? How Sway? Have I raised my voice? Just ready to scream in vexation? Did my mannerisms change like a chameleon? Nah, I don’t recall you saying a single thing that successfully burrowed it’s way under my skin. But you on the other hand, you left a lot of the material I gave you and in return, you placed it to the side. Personal information as well. Your response was something along the lines of I don’t know what I’m talking about. That I messed up. That I made errors in my research. You later said you would correct these mistakes, but in the end you never did. You just moved along. Tried to sweep it under the rug. Why? Because it makes you look bad. You don’t want the general public to view you as the mentally weak recreant that you are. I suppose I would have gone down a similar path to cover my tracks. So let me get this straight, everything I said about Athena or Cerci if you want to go way back, was incorrect? Ares never assaulted her at Triple Threat? He never ruined your wedding? The quote that Jack pulled from Ares himself was just some voiceover from some random YouTuber trying to get views? Saying that as long as you’re breathing it’s not over between you two? Interesting. I mean not you, in a general sense. You are quite boring and I think your face agrees because the more you talk, the sleepier your face becomes. It’s tired, I get it.

Just like I’m getting tired of you. 

I genuinely want to get to know you here so we can make these verbal exchanges less repetitive. It’s only Wednesday, almost Thursday, and it already feels like a chore responding to you. When this match was first announced, I was jumping for joy. I was ready to go. Ready to put these titles on the line against perhaps two of the best going today. Or I guess three of the best, whatever. But that level of excitement was rained out by the dark cloud hovering above our heads. You were right, the storm is coming. But instead of thunder and lightning coming our way, it’s been nothing more than a short drizzle. It’s temporary. Just like you as a unit is temporary. But it’s rather nice to see you taking a back seat when it comes to these alliances. See in your pea-sized brain, you think you’re a mastermind and why do you feel like that in the first place? Oh I don’t know, perhaps it’s because the very first two men you surrounded yourself with had a multiple personality disorder and the other had to answer to a shrink or a teddy bear. It was quite easy to manipulate them, wasn’t it? Just like you thought you could control Matt and Aren as you gripped firmly on their leashes…well that is until they quickly learned the kind of person their master is and that’s a grade A scumbag. What I’m getting at is you can’t lead for shit. You’ve ruined a lot more careers than you’ve helped during your dictatorship days. So good on you, Jay. Make sure to put him in his place before he ruins The Triumvirate as well. Now let’s talk about The Triumvirate since talking about the past is against your religion or beliefs. Or at least it seems that way. Again, open up more. I still don’t understand why you are teaming with a Vendetta. You saw what he’s done to his own family. Robbie V, Athena V, Victor V…and you trust him? I guess you really are the stereotypical powerhouse. All brawn and no brain. I just wonder who the turncoat is gonna be out of you three? Seeing as how I’m a gambling man, hmmmm, I’m gonna go with Ares. Again, when this happens I don’t want to see a single jaw on the floor. Would be the least surprising thing in EAW history. On par with Hurricane Hawk leaving EAW again in the near future. Lastly you continue to talk about this tag division and how poorly it’s ran. You believe you’ll be a breath of fresh air. You can say this and that but in the end you’ll never be given the chance to prove if you were right or not. These are our titles. This is our division. Both of which will still belong to us once this match is finally over. 

As for you Robbie V’s son, I will never agree with your logic. The incompetence is just leaking through the holes you created with the words that originated from your mouth. You label us as mongrels. As nobodies. And then you go out of your way to waste your time on these nobodies. Now why is that? It doesn’t add up. What do you gain from it? To showcase your dominance, perhaps? You don’t only want to beat us physically, but mentally as well. Am I getting warm? Personally, when I view someone as a nobody, I don’t give them the time of day. Perhaps deep down, you don’t view us nobodies? Perhaps you see us as what we truly are and that’s the men that will not only proudly stand opposed from you, but are willing to get inside a cage with you and beat you at your own game. We like our odds. And beneath the surface that bothers you. Now I’m sure you’ll come out and try to convince me otherwise. You’ll stick to the same ol’ thoughts. Thoughts such as us not taking you as seriously as we should will end up costing us big and it’s not your fault, but ours. Not by just taking our titles but essentially wiping our entire careers clean. Try it. Here’s the red button. Press it. You feelin’ lucky bitch?  

If we lose? We lose our titles. That much is true. 

But if you lose in the very first match as The Triumvirate? Then the whole operation you worked so tirelessly on goes kaput in just one night. This aura of dominance you tried so hard to pass off becomes nothing more than a mirage. In other words, just like House Vendetta, you will have failed. 

Then your reputation begins to be questioned. And ours skyrocket. The tag team champs beating singles stars will be quite the headline. It will garner us even more attention and as a result, we will continue to cement ourselves as the greatest tag team in EAW history. All of this happening at your expense. Thank you for being our footnote in advance. It’s become quite clear that we are all trying to use each other. Trying to leap frog the other. In the end only three of us will stand tall while the wreckage in the background with the three bodies stacked on one another serves as a reminder. Come at us, you will face a similar fate. But to you, none of this matters right? My words will go in one ear and out the other. You won’t give this mongrel a second thought. I say anything, you remind me of the time your dad and his friend at the time, Brian Daniels beat us. Let’s ignore the match itself right? That’s what your dad would always give me grief over. I would talk about his recent string of losses and he would respond with, “Did you actually watch the match or did you read the results somewhere online?” But the details never matter right? Just like RoViper’s second reign as the tag champs. People will gloss over the fact it only lasted a week. They just look at the title history and see who has the most reigns. Maybe you should take these titles off of us so we can just win them back a week later so people’s eyes widen with amazement once they see we are already on reign number three! Nah, I’d rather beat the shit out of you. It’s quite an easy decision. Took two seconds. But what won’t take two seconds is our victory at Territorial Invasion. I’ve never once said that this match will be easy. Contrary to your own belief, I know what I’m getting myself into. I know that as you go down swinging, you will take a piece of me with you. Just like I’ll take a large chunk from you. I know weapons are allowed so perhaps I’ll brand the other side of your face. I think it was your face that got branded the first time, right? I’m sure Lannister still remembers. I’ll ask him for the deets. I could go on and on about you but it’s getting late. So fuck you. There. Did it. Roll credits. Nah, I’m kidding, I won’t end it like that. What I will say is I touched on the very beginning of Tiberius and Lannister’s careers. A cameraman and a whore of a hit man. As for you? You’re in luck because at Territorial Invasion, we will see the return of Crimson Mask…but not with the luchador mask covering your face, but your blood. 

On wrongs swift vengeance waits, bitch. 

(David gets up and walks away. Raising his championship in the air on the way out like a real tough guy. The end.)

(Ahren is in his Pink fuzzy chair rubbing lotion on his chest, with his feet up. He's chillin)

So Nico, you don't wanna play with me anymore? You don't think I'm interesting? Aw man, I think I'm plenty interesting, I got a cool collection of buttons and stuff. If that doesn't make me interesting I don't know what does. Look Nico, I know, you beat me the first time we ever faced off, and that's cool, wins and losses happen. But to cast me aside and say that I don't interest you because of it, is very stupid. I get it, don't worry, you beat me, clean, no shenanigans and I respect that. But just because you beat me once shouldn't mean that you don't take me seriously ever again, that's a rookie mistake. I mean, it's not like you dominated the match, it was a back and forth affair that could've gone either way, but at the end, you got me. But like I said, no man has ever beaten me twice before, so if you think you'll be the first, go right ahead and try. I've learned your moves, I'm a chameleon, I eat flies and adapt. You think I'm done for but I just come right on back into your life. I kick in the door waving the 44 all you heard was dirty don't hurt em no mo, but fuck dat I'm taking my ring back... So take dat. take dat.. I'm rapping, how does that make you feel? Did it make you feel feelings? Did I scare you? Did it get a little too intimidating? I know, I run these streets like a pack of wolves prowling the streets, searching for some suckers to fuck up. I don't know Nico, I just don't think you're very interesting to be honest. I mean you talk about the same exact subject every single time, and it's so redundant and boring I just don't care anymore. You like Jesus, congrats! You two should get a room in Cabo together or something and fuck it out already. All this sexual tension is getting me all antsy and I don't like it. It makes me uncomfortable ok? Makes my nips do some crazy things. Makes me sweat my own sweat, perspiration and what not, and even though that makes my glistening sin look great. It's not comfortable. I don't care about your religion, I never have, I don't care that you beat me before, you're not the first and you won't be the last. What I care about is going out there and proving that I belong. I want the World Heavyweight Title and I have shown that I will go to any length to obtain that. I don't care if everyone on my team wants that title shot, It's mine damn it. This team consists of people that aren't ready for a title shot, and people that have had their fill, except for me.

Ahren Fournier is in the prime spot to pick the juicy fruit from the stem of opportunity, and go on and fuck the shit out of it. Just like I do with most things, seriously I wouldn't sit on my couch, things get weird some times. JUST KIDDING... Ha... Ha.. You're weird. Anyways, fake asshole Christian, the point is, you not taking me seriously is a mistake, you forgetting exactly how the past went down, is a mistake, and I will make you pay for that mistake single handedly. Ahren is itching for some gold, and no it's not an STD, it's not a legit itch ok? I'm clean. Shocking right? I guess the good lord has blessed with the genitals of a god... Maybe I am a god? Who knows. I do think this world was created for me, and you're all just players to my game. To my story. You know the funny thing about stories, things don't always go the way that the main character, the Protagonist.. Plug plug on my nickname tying it all in. But the protagonist he goes through trial and tribulation, it's not all rainbows and ponies... I should buy a pony... Anyways, every main character that has ever existed ever has gone through hard times, it may be minor to you, but there's trials he must go through. But at the end of the story he figures things out, and it all works out in the end. Seeing that planet Earth, aka Planet Fournier, is the setting for my story, and you all are my antagonists or just filler it makes sense that I would have some troubles along the way. I mean look back at my career and you'll see that I have actually had a lot of great success, but there's bumps in the road. That's where the true stars come to shine, what happens when you get to those bumps? How do you react? Well here I am reacting to my bumps in the road. I lost to Nico, I beat Lethal Consequences the next week. And here I am standing up to you Nico, and you Scott Diamond, again. That's how I react to failure, head on, because I know that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. I am a superior athlete, I am sexy as fuck, meaty as fuck, charisma for days, I am the total package. So obviously I'm going to have the confidence within myself to prove that I am without a shadow of a doubt, that I.. Not only am ready for the spot light of the World Title, but I deserve the spotlight and the World Title.

And yeah Scott, I mentioned  your bitch ass too. You gave me advice sure, you want me to be serious about things, you want me to not get too confident about everything. I don't need your advice, I'm doing fine on my own thanks. How does my dick taste by the way Scott? Why do I ask? Because right now, you have my sloppy seconds on your shoulder, or was it or wherever you like to have it. You know what I did to that thing when I was long with it?? Hell you know what I did to that thing in public? At times the only clothing I wore was that title. I have rubbed my genitals all over that thing, what do you want from me I got excited? Let me ask you a question Scott, when you won the title did you kiss it? I hope so, I would laugh for days fam. You don't think I've learned this little lesson that you wanted to teach me, and well, maybe I have, maybe I haven't, maybe your lesson was bullshit and I didn't need it in the first place. Like I've said I have had a pretty great career thus far in EAW. Losing one match to you doesn't mean that you're better, that doesn't mean I'm not ready. On that particular night, you beat me, on that particular night you were better. But what about all the matches that I won? What about when I beat Nas, Maero, Keelan, Lethal, Aren, Jon McAdams.. Hell the entire Voltage roster, how about when I beat all of them? Did I not prove that I'm worthy of being here? No, it just boils down to that one match with you doesn't it Scott? that measures my worth in this company in your eyes, and no one ever loses a match and comes back from it. I may not have changed, but in my glorious opinion? I don't need to .. Not yet anyways. But if a day does come where I've lost all hope and I'm down and out about myself, I'll consider changing whatever it is I need to. Just at the moment I just needed a little tweaks to the game plan and stick to it.

As for Jacob Senn, he thinks I'm hiding being this façade of a Casanova. People are way too judgmental, way too obsessed with the lives of others. No, I don't have a façade of being a Casanova, I'm just being me. You act as though I hire the girls I go bang, as if I'm pretending to have sex with them, as if I'm paying for prostitutes. I mean look out into the crowd at any Dynasty show you will see the girls swooning over me. I take advantage of my good looks, and why shouldn't I? I was born better, and to not take girls dreams and make them come true, well won't that make me seem like an asshole? Girls all over the globe will be crying forever, and ever, because I was too selfish not to make their lives by giving them some Ahren Fournier penis. See the fact of the matter is I am saving this world. How? If I don't have sex with all these girls they will have one of two responses. Utter rage, or overwhelming sadness. Think of it, the ragers will riot in the street, they want that Ahren D and won't rest til the get it. They'll kill all who isn't Ahren, and the whole world will die. Girls will kill other girls because they think they're hiding Ahren so that they can have him all to themselves. Then we have the sad ones, the ones that are crying all the time. Now we have to think about building an ark because with all the tears, obviously there will be flooding. Now we have to find a Noah, and collect all the animals one by one. The human race will die out because there will be no more men to breed with because no one can satisfy like Ahren. The girls will kill all the men because they aren't Ahren. And the only one that can satisfy that craving inside the legs, is Ahren Fournier. So now, because you come at me with this, Fake façade of being a Casanova, think before you speak. Because I am exactly what I say I am, and I don't actually have to say it really. You can see it for yourself week after week. Ahren Fournier, is a lifesaver, and I expect a thank you letter fro everyone in the entire world for doing so. But um, what were we talking about? Oh right we're fighting. You know Jacob, just like everyone else probably does, I view you as the man to beat. I don't care if the feeling is mutual, I feel like nobody is thinking that way of Ahren, and that's fine. I like the pressure of not having all the eyes on me, it's neat. I mean, I do, but not in the way you'd want. See you were the World Champion not that long ago, you're a half of famer, you've got that flowing hair, there's a lot going on for you. Yes I know a lot of people make fun of your hair and think it's awful, but don't listen to them you could be a model for L'Oréal with those locks. You are the quintessential EAW Elitist, and that's why I want to prove myself against you. I want to go after you full force, because I want to be the best. A wise man once said you have to beat the best to be the best, and that is true.

That's why I want to go against all of you. I know that all of you are on the top of the crop here in EAW, and I know taht if I win, I show that I belong. I know you're good Nico, I know you're good Scott, I know that entire team is great, but I know that I'm better. I know one match isn't a fair representation of what I can do, and I want to show everyone that as good as can be. One mistake shouldn't dictate an entire life right? Everyone deserves second chances... But I haven't even had one. Not really. There's a lot of talent in this ring come Territorial Invasion, so there will be a lot of chances to show that I belong, to show that I have what it takes to be looked at as one of those top tier talents. I know I am, I view myself as that, but I want everyone else to not just see me as a magnificent hunk of meat, but an athletic panther on the prowl... Or a wolf... Something sexual I don't know, I just want to prove myself. I'm not one for handouts, I know I can earn it. I have the body, I have the face, I have the charisma to be the very best this company has to offer, and I will be. Because I am the Modern Sexual Stallion, The Trill Fairy, and the Crown Jewel of this business. I've waited a long time for a chance like this, I've seen a bunch of guys get there shot while Ahren Fournier had to wait and watch. No more waiting, no more watching, I take the reigns and I control my destiny. Come Territorial Invasion, I don't care if it's you Jacob, you Scott, or you Nico, or anyone else on your team, I won't fail. I don't care if I have to go through my own team members to get to my ultimate goal. Territorial Invasion, is going to be my night. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some Trill Fairy activities to attend to.

(Ahren gets up and grabs his fairy wings. He pulls them on and flies away.. Camera fades to black.)

Frustration and anger, I have shown... and you stand there looking shocked thinking that you somehow caused it. Have you even met me, John Doe? 

My blood will always boil each time I look forward to step in the ring. It's no fucking secret. Everyone who has witnessed my approach would know how passionate I can be with my words and actions. And whether I'm facing the proud lion in Lannister, the unbreakable machine in Y2Impact, or that self-loathing wasp you call Rex McAllister... I just can't help it. It's in my nature. Sometimes rage just overcomes my mind that the only way to get rid of that feeling is to channel my hatred at those who are merely standing in the opposite corner of the ring, even when they have nothing to do with. And even after the dust has settled and another fight is on its way, the clock just resets as I walk right in with a smirk on my face ready to battle again. You do your research, you pause every frame to get an elaborate study of my facial expressions just so you can piece together my hidden thoughts, but did it ever occur to you how many minutes you wasted once you come to the conclusion that The Heart Break Gal never hid her emotions to begin with? If I'm sad, let me frown. If I'm happy, let me smile. These are simple expressions that never took rocket science to figure out, yet there you are, sounding like a bumbling idiot who just throws in the word "manipulation of emotions", as if I wouldn't end up laughing at your horrible, poorly executed approach in that worthless existence. And that is yet another shining example as to why not a single word that came out of your mouth convinced me that you are someone worthy of anyone's fear. This is exactly the reason why your name was never put in a place of importance no matter how many legends you happen to come across. But being who you are, you will never listen to a word I say, will you? It doesn't matter if your theories and predictions are filled with holes and never followed reason. It doesn't matter if your conclusions were never based on firsthand experience... so long as you have a voice, you will keep talking. And I get it, you're new. You're naive. You're stupid. No matter how much you believe that your words are Gospel, to someone who has heard better versions of your criticism and half-baked threats, you're still fucking stupid. And you think bravery is the key to the success that you likely will never taste, and nothing else jus matters. But John Doe, while you love seeing yourself as this mighty tiger that runs silently and swiftly before going for the attack, all you're appearing as is a spoiled brat who thought he could run his mouth endlessly as he desperately forces to get his message across but was never even slightly intimidating to be taken seriously. No, John Doe, I am not going to hear out a damn thing that you say. No, John Doe, I couldn't care less if you don't think I'm special. Did you want me to cry? Did you want me to feel belittled? You're gonna have to do better. 

Settling scores is always an easy task, but the situations that put you there are the everyday shackles that you have to break free from. I'm sorry that you're always free to do as you please in whatever stinkhole you came from, and I am too weak to break free on my own! For someone who is always so open-minded, and "diverse" you seem to be too stuck in a world of order where things are always regulated and arranged neatly in a pile. If that's what you expected from this company, then you came to the wrong place. EAW is a game of numbers, a game of strength and a game of pride. Various rivalries were birthed because of the catastrophe and the never-ending changes that revolve around those three things. If there's one thing we learn and re-learn with the events that transpire, it's that nothing is predictable and anything can happen. It's always about how the athlete responds to the situation and what they will put first that will determine how their game will be won. While the Womens Division did me no good, indeed I stayed. But why? What was so important on Empire that The Heart Break Gal was forced to "bend the knee"? (laughs) Because other than the fact that there were less opportunities to cross borders and General Managers weren't knocking fiercely on my door until early this year, one detail that you conveniently neglected to mention was the fact that I was responsible for representing the entire brand as Champion. Abandoning the division meant abandoning the belt, and the last time I abandoned the belt, this undeserving leech of a crossdresser Cleopatra dug her claws on it the first opportunity she saw, and I would rather burn an entire fucking arena to dust before I let something like that happen again. It's easy to simply say walk away, but what happens when you have an obligation hanging on your shoulder? Was it my fault that I was better than all of them and that nobody else came close? Was it my fault that it took a sneaky cash-in after a gruesome match just to keep me away from the belt? Being the best of the division was more of a curse than a blessing, because there were expectations that needed to be exceeded, and doing less meant that your name as a legend would be tainted. I know, I should spare you the rest of the boring details, that's not what you're after. An uncultured swine like you will never understand what it means to be a Champion, but I do hope you at least understand that for a woman of my stature, I needed to think of the numbers I value. I needed a door to be opened before I could capitalize, Showdown opened it for me and here I fucking am giving my all to keep the numbers moving while you spent too much of your time searching this godforsaken world for enlightenment like a fucking hippie than to look out for yourself and go straight to your personal goals. To your likes, a loss no matter its weight to your future means nothing but an opportunity to be better, but those who have etched their names in history and tasted true success a handful of times, a loss in a major event has a resounding impact and an urgent need to recover or else you can say goodbye to the possibilities you could have had. It's just reality. I understand at this point that plans go awry, and I will only continue to adapt. Never again will I be caught off guard. I will keep fighting until my body gives out because if I let me be stuck in the mud over a single loss, then what's the point of being here? You can only bombard me with so many "what ifs" and "why nots", John Doe, but in the end, all the events that I used to be angry over, including your interference at Dia Del Diablo, will be nothing but a distant memory that I chuckle over once I sit pretty on my leather couch polishing my EAW Championship. And I love myself, John Doe. I love how I'm wired. And I love stealing the spotlight and keeping it on me as I have done many times before. Bring on the pain and bring in the chaos. I beg you. I implore you. Do your worst. Because I sure as hell know, after everything that I have gone through, that there is no pain that you can inflict that I haven't endured a hundred times over. 

And with every failed attempt to hurt me and I rise back up with ease, you will slowly discover that you are not facing helpless rag-dolls to torture like you're used to in whatever hellhole you came from. You are facing a warrior that will fight back. And when you're already on the edge with nothing more to give, you will do nothing but close your eyes and wait for your inevitable defeat. You will finally get to that self-realization and enlightenment that you seek this whole time, mumbling to yourself the sweet words you hate to say out loud -- 
  
"I should have listened."

 



























 

Your overconfidence and complete disregard for basic logic baffles and disgusts me. How can you as a man who has tasted defeat at the hands of myself sit there and think that achieving what you initially failed at as well as outlasting a shitload of other men in a totally separate bout is as simple as "killing 2 birds with one stone". At a point it comes from being confident.. to pure delusion. Lets just dissect the thought process behind this decision for a second.. you initially faced me in a competitive back and forth bout which would prove to be nothing short of a brutal grueling contest. You also lost, but now you feel like if you get another crack at it you can possibly win.. which you won't, but for arguments sake lets say you somehow did miraculously manage to defeat me. You remember how our first bout went, you remember the feeling you felt when you woke up from unconsciousness after eating that pinfall, and you know exactly what I am capable of. You damn sure weren't able to walk out and compete in another match later that night at Dia Del Diablo, so what makes you think that you would at Territorial Invasion? So lets say you did manage to defeat me, you can't possibly after experiencing how the aftermath of a match with me felt, think it's going to be so easy as to where you'll be physically capable to compete in another match. It's a selfish move honestly, you risk your team losing and the corrupt GM continuing to reign over Dynasty for a false sense of pride and brownie points from people who will commend you for being such a brave soul. I can see it now, pity applauses and people giving you props for having to much heart and determination because you limped to the ring beaten and broken down and attempted to get into another fight, and while it makes for a great moment.. reality sets in and the moment ends.. you get your ass kicked and eliminated, life goes on. Surely there is no disputing that you have balls, but that clearly compensates for your lack of brains. You sure do like to stack the deck against yourself, maybe you perform best in high pressure situations though.. they say pressure makes diamonds. Perhaps it was the same diamond that formed at Pain for Pride when going against a career long partner and rival who had once been looked at as your superior, finally escaping the cloud that had covered you for your whole career, and solidifying yourself as an individual. But here we are two months later and he is in a one on one match that can put him in a position to capture another world championship, and you're putting your body and reputation on the line for cheap thrills and a score you'll never be able to settle. This high pressure situation won't do anything for you but burst your pipes and for the final time in your career you will understand that you just cannot defeat me no matter how hard you try. I'll finally be able to move on with you out of my life once and for all, it was never meant to even get this far. I wanted to seek challenges and I ended up with a nuisance who takes everything to the heart. You felt embarrassed that I left you hanging at the draft show and held a grudge, and made sure to show up on my brand despite any restrictions and answer my open challenge. Time after time you have simply done nothing but make my business yours, only for me to give you the business and send you packing. I am not obligated to respect any man who has done nothing to earn my respect, I am not obligated to LIKE any man who has done nothing to make me like them as a person, it's not a personal thing on my behalf, it just is what it is. One thing I always made sure to do as a professional was to never mistake business dealings with personal feelings. Just because I don't know you, nor do I care to, thus as a result have no reason to give you any respect doesn't mean that I hate you or that I felt any negative feelings towards you prior to our dealings with one another. Now is a different story, you give me every reason in the world to dislike you and look at you as nothing more than a distracting childlike irritant. 

You said it yourself, your history at this very event is suspect. While I am not one to believe in superstitions such as having back luck at a certain event, especially in your case considering you have bad history at pretty much every other event, I do see you competing at this event as a disadvantage for you for another reason. The "bad luck" aspect of things is all in your head, you feel as if you haven't been fairly successful in the past at Territorial Invasion and here you are already looking back at the past and comparing it to this year just hoping and wishing that it doesn't end up like it always does. In the back of your mind you'll be so spooked at the prospect of once again failing here to the point where it will consume you and the very thing you tried to avoid happening, you indirectly made happen by putting too much stock into the idea. It's not too great that you have the fight of your life at the very event you suck at because you're a mental midget that thinks the universe just doesn't want you to succeed at it but I'll be glad to give you more material to support that ideology. You claim to not be after my respect, but my pride. You have it all wrong though, because a hypothetical CM Banks loss to Nasir Moore doesn't make me any less of a legend, it doesn't make me any less sure of myself, and it doesn't effect my career in any way. I already proved myself by defeating you at Dia Del Diablo, Territorial Invasion is just going to be icing on the cake. Can you say the same thing about yourself though? Can you say that if you lose to me for the second time in a row that nothing changes? I mean you still have a chance to become the number one contender for the Answers World Championship, but who's to say that you'll be taken serious as a contender or even champion knowing in the back of your mind that your claims of being the best in EAW will be false because everyone knows who your superior is. Thats the difference between me and you, I have nothing to prove to you.. you have everything to prove to me, these fans, and most importantly yourself. My Hall of Fame placement is cemented, my accomplishments is cemented, my win over you is cemented despite what happens on Saturday, but don't get me wrong I am not making a case for myself incase I happen to lose.. I'm just letting you understand that NOTHING will ever take away my pride. In the very unlikely chance of me going down, I won't be going down without taking someone with me. And based on my observations of some of the best performers in this company today, there isn't a soul capable of taking me down. In the present moment I'm sure you don't understand it and I'm sure you'll be bitter about not being able to defeat me.. but in the end you'll thank me when it's all said and done because never before and never again will you ever be on as big as a platform as you have been for the last month from rubbing shoulders with CM Banks. You're welcome. In order to defeat you I'm going to have to make sure you're never able to get up ever again? Eh I doubt that, maybe temporarily.. but when you do manage to get up and recover, just imagine the possibilities going forward. I mean sure you failed to defeat me, sure you failed to secure that number one contender spot thanks to our match.. but you simply surviving is an accomplishment all in itself. Because that means you go out with more knowledge and experience than you walked in with, which will make your upwards battle from the bottom that I send you to right back to the top that much more easier to manage. Perseverance, experience, and a good ol' CM Banks stimulus package? This will only do more good for you long term than harm in the interim. I mean I'm just trying to help you cope with the inevitable defeat, you might as well look at the pros as opposed to the cons, the sooner you're able to accept your fate the sooner you'll be able to move on.

There is nothing significant that can come from all this.

Your bitterness and greed has lead you astray once again.

When this is over all you'll have are more excuses and regrets.

It's very much like crying wolf for you. You want everyone to see it your way, to sympathize as justification for your actions, when someday you will be left standing all alone in a time when you really need help. Your feeble complaints, your over the hill drama, your victim mentality, your whining, your blaming haven't gotten you any closer to your goals or dreams since stepping foot on the brand. Nothing but endless amounts of excuses and nonsense, so caught up in delusion that your status means you no longer have to earn a thing. Today is a new day! This era has snuck up on the both of you, and without much notice, because you weren't expecting it. You underestimated it. Trying to rationalize every time you have been knocked off your thrones is due to a process of not perceiving reality properly, and attempting to make that reality fit your emotions at any given moment or time. You should both stop making excuses, because they serve you nothing of note, and your foes won't believe any of them. I have taken from you both, as I have many, but it was usually due to the fact that like you they were not deserving of achieving that of their greatest desires. It may have come here and there in installments in the beginning, but a little bit here and there has provided me with the types of experiences that allow me to stand before you two once again as I have in the past. Little do you realize how much you both have played your parts in this story to ensuring my rise in this company. Your misfortunes continue because all you have are excuses. You want to keep changing the narrative, but there will be yet another lie in between the promises of your success, and excuses should you come up short again.

You understand what is happening here.

You simply choose not to accept it.

I don’t blame you.

Everything is not supposed to be black and white from these higher planes. I’ve acknowledged it already, and I’ve made the adjustments as needed. Doing things that are right or wrong are typically predicated from whatever experiences we happen to come upon in our respective journey. Nobody survives on these terrains without being resourceful and doing what’s smart. Certainly a survivor such as yourself can understand what it is that this elitist is out to accomplish. With or without the EAW Championship, this elitist progresses on, continuing to contribute to the shaping of the future. As much as you may like to believe that this is simply for my own future alone, what I can safely tell you without sounding off or tooting my own horn arrogantly, is this is for many of the rising Superstars of today. This weekend, all of these many weeks since I first made myself known under the old Showdown regime, it’s been about setting an example, becoming the blueprint for future stars to follow on their respective paths toward future glory. I don’t expect you to understand at this point in your career as maybe you would have in your early experiences in this company. You’re a stepping stone to me, and I know that fact burns you inside to have to accept. You came from the other end of the spectrum renowned over as the greatest female wrestler ever, and one of the few to make the successful crossover biding your time until you could potentially be recognized as the first female world champion, but now you have found out in the dog eat dog world on the male side how much harder you will need to work. You’ve excepted it even. The part you can’t seem to accept is that your time at the top, that changed the moment you decided to make your permanent residence on this brand. You expected everything to be thrown right into your lap the moment you got here because of who you are and the things you’ve done, and that suddenly everyone should bow down to you. Since being drafted to this brand, all it’s been is forward progress for this elitist, and it happened through the many experiences that have shaped who he’s become. The New Era of Showdown should be represented by the “new” and not “old”. The road less traveled has always been the way this elitist has taken, and like before you’re not listening to my words or been paying attention to my travels to be here. You can’t wait to put an end to this, it’s very obvious by now how bitter the taste is at this moment that you aren’t able focus all of your attention on mining more gold for yourself. It’s eating away at you like a cancer from the inside out. As was the case before, I’m in your way. Nothing has really changed accept your actions, and that’s where I’ve made the necessary and proper adjustments accordingly. It’s all about shaping the future of this company, has been since I burst through the curtains and down that ramp. You and Devan have been trying to be the deterrents to something that is not meant to be prevented. These chain of events have happened for a reason. There’s a method to the madness, whether you like it or not. Your moment has come and gone, and since you wish to try and alter the future through acts of cruelty, there is no other recourse but to stand and fight. Let bedlam and chaos have it’s day.

In the end you just need to fall.

Things were never going to change unless someone stepped forward. Now, someone else has stepped into the frame, and you can barely accept that. Everything you’ve put yourself through lately, it’s not been about survival as much as it has been about greed. You’re never going to hear the end of it from me until you decide to go another route or until you are knocked off this path, because this one is not going to lead you toward the fortunes you wish to experience. The ending you are in search of can only be by getting rid of the source for good. The one that has turned your world upside down, and that was the same one that downed you in front of your home faithful. John Doe, he wants diversity. Me? I’m helping shape the future of this company, and if there has to be bloodshed to make that possible, then so be it. You're desperate attempts to try and reverse your misfortunes have all been for naught, your pride and ego leading you closer and closer toward your very own self-made curtain call. It won't matter what you do in your futile attempts, because I will rise above it and you in the end. Everyone makes mistakes, and the one you're making now is in believing that everything you have done since you beat yourself at Diablo is the answer to all of your problems. This won't change nothing for you, if anything it makes things much worse for you once you realize the stars are once again not aligned in your favor. It's one you keep repeating in fact each time you have had to step into the ring with me. There's no luck involved when your fate was already sealed from the opening moments of this season that I interrupted yours and Devan's little reunion that night. You both had a great opportunity right in front of you, and the mistake you both made was the same one everyone else had made previous. You both saw me as insignificant then just as you do now, except the difference is now you realize that it's no longer about you, and that makes you utterly sick to your stomachs, and burns you to your very core. From the very beginning I was the only one that knew that I was more than deserving, and those little results your careers live or die from are the same ones I've been gaining every step of the way because you both are so many steps behind. You couldn't except that I was more than deserving. You couldn't except defeat when it stared you right in the face. Low and behold, nothing has changed, now has it? Your words are still small, your actions make you look too desperate, and your opinions hardly matter and certainly won't change your fate. It's far too often that the folly of my opposition has become my fortune. The days and the weeks go by, but here you are, still lost without a clue of where it's all going wrong. In your eyes all you see is a couple of the new blood that represent nothing significant compared to you, and yet that will lead your downfall once again. So while another may have been a catalyst in my recent ascension into upper echelon of this company, it's you that has contributed to it even more. That may be hard too accept, but then again the truth usually is, but I suppose you will just have to find out for yourselves the hard way just one more time.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

The empty house in the depths of Saint Petersburg had become easy to navigate since he’d been around. Though it got cold at night, it seemed rather...cozy. It reminded him of his home in Arizona in a sense. The worn wood that surrounded the home, the closeness of it all. The walls themselves seemed so nice when wrapped around him. And as the wind began to blow through the home his thoughts drifted passively. Reminding him of his struggle to make it once again to the point of competing at another event. His eyes scanned his own body, catching sight of the healed over scars from the countless wars. Littering his arms were the remnants of his Devil’s Pit matches. Deep scars that had healed all the way over. His fingers traced against the scar along his forehead from his first ever hardcore match in DWF. His spine still bore the burn scars from a flaming tables match in RUW. As habit held, his tongue traced over his teeth, thoughts shifting through his mind as Pizza Boy’s words ran through his ears. There was a lot of truth in what he had said. Repeatedly, he had been reminded of his own failures, but more than that, he was reminded that Pizza Boy was perhaps the greatest champion of the light that he had ever seen. Second only to Nasir. Of course, he did make the mistake of praying to something that had all the amount of existence of a Flat Earth. There was a slim chance that there was truly anyone above listening to what he said. Even if there was, Eclipse would never bow his head to him to confess to any sin. If a god truly existed, that god was a terrible being. A monstrous creation that preyed upon people like him, forcing them to be bent at the knee and to offer their soul and heart and mind to him...even if at the end it means nothing. Even if that same god would more than likely throw you to hell for wearing Mixed Fabric as he would send you to heaven for stoning a divorced woman. His eyes closed tight as the stillness of the home began to get to him. The silence around him except for the wind playing tricks on his mind. He could hear footsteps down the hall, distant sounds of shouting. A woman’s voice drowning out a man’s voice. His heart thudded more in his chest, as he grasped at his head, whispering to make the voices stop. To make all the pain go away. But it wouldn’t. All of the voices simply continued to scream at him, filling his head with their endless screams. They wouldn’t stop. They wouldn’t let him be. They just continued to roar into his ears. His tears began to fall rapidly, as he shook his head, screaming for the voices to stop before he heard it. A muffled gunshot. His head shot up, staring straight ahead down the hall...the dark hall. Nothing. There was nothing there. Like always. Just his empty home. The hovel that he was staying in. Empty. His breath came out in a mist drawn whisper, as his eyes focused on the hallway, his ears filling with the silence once again. His hands clenched and unclenched, stretching his fingers in the cold as he began to grit his teeth.


“I’ve never known love. Isn’t that such a strange statement to say, Pizza Boy? You, the man who was surrounded by friends and allies...tugged along by a man who was only using for monetary gain, say that I’ve never known love. I suppose that’s a common thing to think. You are, after all, correct in a certain sense. I never felt love for a long time. Do you know what I did feel, Pizza Boy? I felt...disdain. Contempt. Pity. And above all else...ignored. When the incident occurred, Pizza Boy, I was left alone in the Asylum. My mind was left to shatter in the cold emptiness of that place, while doctors and therapists poked and prodded in my brain for the chance of figuring out just what they could do to cure me of my madness, but not for my own benefit. They sought a cure for my madness, because in their eyes, it meant that they would make money off of me. I was nothing but a living dollar sign to them. So, I was given no affection. And I fell for that...my mind so...warded by the sense of resentment that I felt...that I found myself craving affection from anyone. I was young, Pizza Boy. A scared child in a room full of people who had committed atrocities, but that was also my only home. So, when one of the inmates showed me attention, pretended to care for me like I was a genuine person, how could I not accept it all? You understand the sentiment I take it. You after all were led by a man who saw you as a dollar sign. And you followed him blindly. Now of course, I haven’t necessarily kept track of that man, or your intentions with him. In my eyes, I only saw you. The child...like me. But unlike me...you didn’t...fall so far into that trap of affection that it was too late to climb out of of. Not like me. When that man gave me the love and affection I wanted, I was blinded by it. And it wasn’t until I was screaming, bloody on the ground and tears in my eyes as he...he...well...I figured out what his affections had actually meant. To do what he did to me, as a mere child. Of course, why would he not, it was partly why he was convicted to the Asylum in the first place. He had caused so many other children to suffer...for some it was shorter. For me, the suffering lasted until his blood rested on the shard of glass that I had gotten. When I stared at his choking corpse, eyes looking up at me with that sickening look of betrayal, I knew just how to take my love back. And that’s what I chose to do. Why I began my...work. My acts. In a sense, it became my religion, but unlike many other religions, it wasn’t to create a deity, I simply had to become the deity. I had to be God to those that would dare to take innocence away. I chose to become this to save others from what I had suffered, and if a thousand that forced others to suffer had to do, I would kill thousands. If the only way to silence the screams of the innocent was to drown them out in the screams of the persecutor, then let me be the maestro to that dark symphony.


I’m boring you with these talks...I can guess that much. I apologize, when I drift into memory it takes a bit for me to pull myself out of it. You’ll have to forgive me for that.” He mumbled with a smile on his face. As the stillness of the house creeped up his spine again, he reached into his coat pocket, removing from it a few items. The first was a red envelope. Red Letters. One of the pieces of his little...Urban Legend. But pressed to it, between his fingers, was a grouping of red hair. Closely tucked against the envelope.

“Understand something, very well, Pizza Boy. I know who your allies are...in a sense I know of their work. I’m an admirer, truly. There is only so many times one can murder before they draw the attention of one like me. And what she does is indeed Murder, Pizza Boy. As well as theft. As I recall, she’s driving down the road in a car of mine...is it nice? I hope that she’s doing well...Fertility Lynch. I’ve walked through the crime scenes she leaves behind. I’ve actually helped her out a bit, at least when it comes to the kills that she thinks are...secretive. I’ve grown used to climbing up my own kills, but perhaps your infamous trainer should learn to hide things a bit better. Or at least put on a hat or beanie after she does the deed, to avoid hair falling out. Easily traceable. DNA wise. But I kept some, for sentimental value. And to remind you of something very important, Pizza Boy. That if I really wanted to...I could go after those you love the most. So very easily could I torch the houses of your friends and family. So very easily could I slit the throats of Bo and Tye. So easily could I shatter every bit of glass and break every bit of equipment in that pizzeria you work at. So easily. But I choose not to. Instead, I’ve decided that I’ll face you as a fighter, not as a monster. You’ve earned that much, Pizza boy. You’ve earned me fighting you one on one as a genuine foe and not as a beast incarnate that wants to rip you apart, without giving your mind a chance to recover. This lock of hair...this is a warning. This is a warning to you that I’m not smoke and mirrors with nothing backing it up. I’m not some slobbering beast that barks at the air while unable to truly bite and tear at his foe. I am a genuine threat to you, and you know that. I want that to sink into your brain, that what I do to you is what happens when I choose to hold back from what the urges tell me to do. And I’m fighting them a lot, Pizza Boy. I’m fighting every bit of my voices to keep this fair between the two of us. I’m fighting them for every moment that I’ve wanted to find your friends and family and leave them strung up and bleeding in your home, just to show you what I’m capable of. Because I respect you. You deserve that much. But, you’ve pushed your luck a bit. You’ve pushed your luck by uttering that you...pity me. I don’t want your pity, Pizza Boy. In the same way that you don’t want me to hold back against you, I don’t want your pity. I was given pity before. Pity isn’t a sign of anything but contempt. It’s a nicer way of saying that you look down on me. I won’t be looked down upon. Pizza Boy...win or lose, I’m going to shatter the resolve that you have. I’m going to remind you that the darkness is much harder to fight out of than you first realized. So pray to your God again, ask him for salvation. Ask him that you’ll be able to see your child again. Ask him to give you strength against me. Ask him to be able to put me down...because if you don’t kill me...you’ll regret it. For the rest of your life.”

One of the “Traditional” Territorial Invasion has a slight twist on it this year. Carlos Rosso and Keelan Centrich will lead their respective teams into a 4 on 4 battle with a 30-minute Iron Man. Carlos’s side will be flanked with the likes of the devastating Apocalypse Diemos, the excessively patriotic Cody Marshall and Moongoose McQueen, the EAW New Breed Champion. Keelan’s side is set to counter with the luchador El Ironico, the very talented Lars Grier and submission mastermind Finnegan Wakefield. With all the combustible elements as well as the offering of a “special opportunity” to the person who scores the winning fall and this match has all the features for a total war. One of the questions that many have though is a surprising one: Is Carlos Rosso prepared to lead his troops into battle. Ever since his return, he has terrorized Keelan Centrich and his girlfriend, Madison Kaline. The results in the ring however have not been so kind to the “Red Storm”, who seems to have been downgraded to a tropical depression after consecutive losses. Even after his loss in the return match to Lars Grier, the former Tag Team Champion didn’t seem too worried, even as the match ended somewhat controversially in his mind, suggesting that the referee incorrectly ruled that his shoulder was down for a three count.
 
(Carlos is shown walking backstage after his defeat to Lars, Mao at his side as he holds his jaw a bit. Cassidy Vega approaches the pair quickly afterwards for an interview but Carlos holds up his hand to cut her off before she can even begin speaking.)


WHOA WHOA WHOA! Everybody chill out. Everyone knows what just happened out there. My shoulder was up and there was an obvious bit of poor refereeing. I had Lars dead to rights and he knows it. I PROVED that I was the better man, and I BEAT him within an inch of his life. You saw it, millions of people saw it. There is no need for me to answer your little questions or be concerned. You know why? Because it’s always been like this. Carlos Rosso…vs THE WORLD. And I always have it hard because the world is so vast and full of challengers…and cheaters…and referees that lack the eyesight necessary to do their fucking jobs. But I’m not worried. You know why? Because this shit doesn’t matter. It’s preseason. It’s an exhibition. A friendly. People think that momentum is important. I have been in positions where I have LOST supposedly important matches before Free Per Views. I have LOST plenty of times before in matches that at the end of the day don’t mean jack shit but a bigger paycheck on the day. You know where I truly shine? Where I truly make my livinghood? IN THE BIG MATCHES! This match isn’t going to change me or change how I feel. And it’s not going to change the fact that Team Carlos Rosso is going to absolutely obliterate Team Keelan Centrich at Traditional Invasion. I didn’t need to need to win this match tonight? Do you know what I need? I NEED to get LSU season tickets. I NEED a bag of ice to put over my jaw because it’s sore! I NEED TO BE HEALTHY FOR THE TRADITIONAL INVASION SPECIAL IRON MAN MATCH! THIS IS ABOUT ME. NOT KEELAN AND HIS BAND OF IDIOTS. NOT YOU, CASSIDY, NOT ANYONE BUT ME….


And a little bit about Voltage being watchable again too. I’ll rest up, I’ll be fine, and my team will be too. A captain should accept when he miscalculated things and tonight, I maybe underestimated Lars a little bit. Hubris plus bad refereeing has unfortunate consequences. But when it matters, I will be prepared.
 
Unfortunately for Carlos, the losing streak that he’s been on in EAW competition continued as he lost in surprising fashion to El Ironico on Voltage. The team captain was obviously not in the same confident, almost jovial mood he was in after his loss to Lars.


(A small press contingent from Russia, Japan and other parts of the world awaits Voltage stars after each match. After his loss to El Ironico, Carlos is seen clutching his head a bit, an angry glare in his eyes as he approaches them, breath slightly heavy as Mao is already nearby, putting a pack of ice on his head.)


Carlos: Well…. say something, bastards.


(The crowd of reporters seems hesitant to ask him anything until he suddenly kicks out at a nearby chair.)


Carlos: I SAID SAY SOMETHING, BASTARDS!


(One of the reporters, a young man with brown hair and glasses, begins to speak in Russian as Carlos looks on at him completely baffled.)


Carlos: What the FUCK did he say?


Mao: Look, My Russian is hazy, but he says that now that you have lost to two members of Team Keelan do you feel less confident about your chances of your team winning. He also wants to know what your impression of El Ironico is now that you’ve had to face him first hand.


Carlos: Fuck him. He wins one match against me and now you people are going to prop him up. He is WEAK. He will get what’s coming to him soon enough. As for my team and my leadership, I HAVE ABSOLUTE FAITH in my team, and in MYSELF. These two matches have been nothing more than an evaluation of the opposition. There was no intent to injure. There was no sense of urgency. These were exhibitions through and through. Next.


(Another reporter, a middle-aged Japanese man, begins to speak and Carlos seems to understand his question more thoroughly, glaring at him through it as the gentlemen stammers a bit toward the end.)


Carlos: How do I feel about being 0-2 in my Glorious Return to Voltage? IT FUCKING SUCKS!


(Carlos flings the ice pack on his head at the reporter, narrowly missing hitting him square in the face with it.)


How would you feel, huh? To have people like you sit here and ask me stupid fucking questions about something that you do for a living? But you know what, it’s okay. Just because you start your season 0-2 doesn’t mean your season will be shit. LOOK AT THE NFL. THREE TEAMS HAVE STARTED 0-2, YET AT THE END THEY WERE THE LAST ONES STANDING! You people, you write your stupid articles about how my team is collapsing on its seams, that we can’t coexist. I DON’T CARE IF I MUST DRAG THIS WHOLE FUCKING TEAM, KICKING AND SCREAMING BY MYSELF TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH, I WILL HAVE THINGS MY WAY AT TERRITORIAL INVASION!!!!


(Mao looks on astonished, completely bewildered about something as he turns to look at her.)


Carlos: WHAT?


Mao: You…called it what it’s supposed to be called for once.


Carlos: Huh?


Mao: You’ve been calling it Traditional Invasion for the last month. Today you called it by the right name. (Eyes narrowing) Do we need to send you through the concussion protocol?


Carlos: I’m fine!


(Carlos shoves his way past the confused reporters, ceasing his interview there.)


Carlos Rosso’s had a rough go of things since his return to Voltage, but now he has a chance to collect his thoughts and hopefully calm down. So here he is, the Team Captain of Team Carlos as he prepares for Territorial Invasion as he prepares to meet Team Keelan.


Keelan. You seem to be looking for a reason why, aren’t you? You really want to know what caused me to attack you all this time ago, don’t you? I’ve told you to your face that I can’t stand looking at you, that I want to hurt you, and you still need further explanation as to why I do what I do? Did that crash through the car window do more damage than I intended on doing? You are comparing me to a lot of men, a lot of jabronies who are either has-beens or neverwas. You want to know what I am? ALWAYSBEENALWAYSWILL. I have been handing out ass beatings in EAW and across this planet for the last decade and you of all your team should know that I am not to be taken lightly. Sure, there have been bumps in the road here and there since I came back to Voltage, but everyone knows that when we have been face to face…VERY BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU…OR YOUR GIRLFRIEND. I’m not going to talk about any of those other motherfuckers on your team right now. I don’t feel like it, they are not worth my time. Not right now, this right here is between you and me. You want to question my heart, that’s fine with me. I have been thrown off bridges, competed in three times as many Cash in the Vault matches with you, wrestled on every EAW brand and have come to do my work sick and injured. I have heart. I may say a lot of goofy shit and have weird losses on my resume, but no one in EAW has ever insulted my heart. You want me to show you what I can do? Fine. I’m coming to St. Petersburg and I’m coming to find YOUR PUNK ASS FIRST. Those other motherfuckers, they will get theirs, if not from Apocalypse, Cody and Moongoose then definitely from me…. ESPECIALLY THAT MOUTHY LITTLE PUNK EL IRONICO! I HAVE WRESTLED LUCHADORES BEFORE, AND I HAVE UNMASKED AND UNASSED A LOT OF EM. Ever heard of El Burrito? OF COURSE NOT, BECAUSE I ENDED HIM MYSELF.


One by one, we are going to wipe you out.


For thirty glorious minutes, the kiddie gloves are coming off. I have taken the best that anyone in your group has to offer, and all I have to do is unleash hell upon all of you. St. Petersburg will be the playground of the most destructive force in the history of EAW. St. Petersburg will be the place where Moongoose, the BIG PICKLE, once again proves why he is superior to Finnegan Wakefield. St. Petersburg will be the place that Cody Marshall BUILDS A WALL and makes TEAM CARLOS FIRST.
And most importantly, St. Petersburg will be the place where the Killer gets Knocked the Fuck Out.
Oh, by the way, Madison, if you lose YOUR match at TI, and you probably will, you’re more than welcome to spend a little time in the winning locker room after the beatings have been handed out and receive a little personal comfort from Yours Truly, eh? I know, I know, it’s an inconvenience dragging around Keelan’s talentless ass, so why don’t you ditch him? I understand the line may be long as all get out: for some reason Moongoose is really popular in Russia. Maybe it’s the stripper outfit abomination he posted on Twitter a while back. But anyway, you probably won’t be first, but you can definitely be next, know what I mean? No hard feelings about that black eye, I hope?


Team Carlos will cause the most pain, destruction and desolation that St. Petersburg has seen since the Siege of Leningrad. You mistake silence for cowardice, boys. Don’t be so cocky when the lot of you are so very weak.


ITS ASSWHIPPING SEASON, BOYS…AND IM GONNA WIN THIS TIME!


(With a shove of the camera from Carlos Rosso’s palm, the scene fades to black.)

Before I begin, I believe an apology is in order.

To StarrStan.

Well, maybe not so much of an apology, but an admission.

I didn't express myself in the best way on Dynasty. I let my emotions get the best of me and as a result it may have sounded that I had joined Team Monroe to spite you. I get how one could jump to that conclusion, but you must realize that isn't the case. 

It was a strategical decision, one that might benefit you just as much as it does me.

You want to prove yourself the superior GM, and I want to be the last man standing, become the #1 Contender to the Answers World Champion and rule over Dynasty holding both of it's championships. But, if I had chosen to be on your team, none of that would've happened. Monroe would have won and chances are I would've been long gone by the end.

It was unwise to think you could put Darkane and I on the same team and expect us to coexist. Actually let me rephrase, foolish to think he would play fair. He's young, he's inexperienced. Being young and being inexperienced makes for a fool. Being a fool in the first real spotlight of any kind is an open invitation to try and cement your name into the brains of the masses. I have no doubt in my mind that Darkane being the young and inexperienced man he is, would've cost you and your team victory by stabbing me in the back, taking me out early and trying to harness that spotlight for himself. 

Who benefits from that? Nobody. Your team would be down an extremist right out of the gate... a loss certain against five of Dynasty's... no... EAW's best, fresh. And I'd be heading for a shower before I even got the chance to get my feet wet. At least this way, I've made it so that one of us can get what we want. It's an even playing field... as far I as I can tell... no hidden agenda's... that I know of, and that's all one can really and hope for isn't it? A fair chance. And I gave myself at least a chance of one by joining Team Monroe, it was never personal. Quite frankly, I couldn't care less about any of it. But if I'm not going to get the chance to defend my Hardcore Championship then I guess this is the second... third... fifth... at least I'm on the card.

That felt good. I needed to clear the air, and hopefully that puts all of my teammates at ease knowing that I can be trusted, knowing that I put my wholehearted trust in them, and knowing that should they break that trust... and they try to do what Darkane certainly would've done... there will be repercussions.

BUT WHAT A GROUP OF TEAMMATES I HAVE! Three fellow Hall of Famers, and the only man amongst the group to not be in the Hall of Fame carries with him a golden ticket to the Answers World Championship that will surely put him on the fast track to the Hall of Fame. I look on the other side and I can't say I see the same. I see a bunch of underachievers, none more so than Nasir Moore, who's greatest accomplishment to date is defeating a former tag team partner of his... you and that tag team partner have a bit of history with me don't you. What was it? Three years ago? When I... well let's not be coy here... when I singlehandedly defeated you and Aren to become the Unified Tag Team Champions. Congratulations on being only the slightly bigger runt of the pair. Ahren Fournier, a man who I've crossed paths with before and defeated, and because it's never a pleasure to have to pronounce his name, I'm going to keep my comments on him rather short. You still haven't changed, yes, I realize it's only been a few months... but I expected something... anything... I gave you advice, valuable advice, and you chose not to take it. Because of that I have little doubt that the result this Saturday will be any different than the first, has anyone ever beaten you twice? I don't know enough to care about the answer to that, but if it's no... that record won't last forever. There's a first time for everything. Target Smiles... who likes to speak as if he were a faceless man. Target Smiles has secrets, Target Smiles is a mystery, but apparently that mystery doesn't translate into the ring since Target Smiles finds himself constantly losing. Target Smiles lost last week, Target Smiles lost that match and Target Smiles lost THAT match and Target Smiles even lost THAT match... so... does Target Smiles lose this match too? Scott Diamonds thinks... yes! Darkane, this isn't the first time I've spoken to you and it damn sure won't be the last. I'm not wasting all my ammunition here, you'll have to wait.

And then there's Tyler Parker. I've chosen to single you out because you're so obviously the crown jewel of this team aren't you? The most accomplished, the most decorated, the most revered, the only Hall of Famer on your team, maybe the only one who will EVER get that honor... but your absence has proven that you haven't been keeping up all that well lately, have you? Yes, there was a time where I was only in this for myself, and it showed. It showed itself with two lackluster years filled with no glory or celebration. But things have changed, I've changed... you should've done your research before foolishly throwing accusations that won't stick my way. In me has awoken a new spirit, thanks to my son and my wife there's new, bright light inside me. My career is ascending again and the championship that I won just a few weeks back, that I now hoist down to the ring every night proves that very fact. The bad blood that EAW and I once had has subsided, the stormy cloud has dissolved. The cliché is old and tired but it fits perfectly, I'm a new man! So much so that I won't take any offense to the names you called me, I'll even excuse your lapse in judgement... this time. Next time know better. Because if not, maybe a bit of that old Scott Diamond will peak through, and not the one you're talking about. The one who would bash in the skull of anyone who dared get in his way, and would do it gladly with no remorse. 

And that warning extends to the rest of the team as well, not just Tyler.

Tread lightly.