Where is Kevin Devastation to seek counsel from when you need him?

The Franchise Demon wrote:

(The scene starts during the commercial break as Stark is walking towards backstage as Franchise Demon is still at ringside near the commentary table and grabbing a microphone. It looks like Franchise Demon has something to say to Stark about the huge tag team match for next week.)

FD: EVAN STARK YOU JOKE! .....You actually showed up tonight? How did it feel? How did it feel Stark? HOW DID IT FEEL BEING BROKEN IN HALF?? 

(The crowd begins to chant WHAT? After everything Franchise says and boo him at the same time)

FD: I know how you feel......YOU'RE SCARED! .....YOU'RE SCARED, I KNOW IT! YOU KNOW IT! SOON THE EAW FANS WILL KNOW IT! ......Speaking of the fans how about you shut up and listen up here? .......Stark wanna know why I attacked you......again? You need to open up your eyes and ears because for once in my life......I was wrong. Wanna know what I was wrong about? ......I was wrong about you being the hero. YES STARK ISN'T THE HERO! I AM THE HERO IN THIS COLD CALCULATED WORLD! .....Wanna know why? This world is always cold man......just look whats going on in today's world Stark, school shootings.......Dentists' killing lions and even people robbing people's houses each day and night! I'm not the villain.......YOU'RE THE VILLAIN MR. STARK! I'm the hero that's trying to put an end to this cold world and you........YOU THINK YOU'RE THE HERO BUT YOUR JUST THE VILLAIN STARKMAN! .....Your the kind of cold person that wants this cold lifestyle to continue.....and I don't want that to happen, none of these idiots want that to happen Starkman. Next week on Voltage.......Tornado Tag Team Hardcore Match, you're going to meet a special friend of mine.....

(The Franchise Demon goes under the ring and pulls out a body bag with Starkman's name spray painted on it and goes into the middle of the ring with it)

FD: STARKMAN MEET MY SPECIAL BODY BAG! ........Next week, the summer is about to get hotter. Hotter.......darker........THIS COLD WORLD WILL BE RISING OVER YOU! ......I will take a great pleasure in destroying you with Psycho Brody and against Daniel Marshall. WAKE UP AND STARE THE EYES INTO THE DRAGON! ..........I'M THE HERO AND I'M THE ONE THAT'S GOING TO END THIS STORY WITH THE BEST ENDING POSSIBLE .......and that's with putting your corps into this body bag!

(The lights go out moments later and then Franchise Demon is no longer seen in the ring.....)

1. What's up with the shit-load of dots? It makes the promo look way too messy and hard to read, if you need to add dots in, add three ( ''...'') which is a small number and doesn't just seem like you did it to make the promo longer.

2. You had something okay here with the people in the world not being who they are or whatever but it comes off generic because so many people say like this and I really thin you could have at least expanded upon or fleshed out more reasoning in your promo. Why exactly are you a hero? What exactly do you want different from 'starks lifestyle'? You really need to explain yourself more and think things through. You could have maybe found a way to tie this into your parents death or something. You always seem to post short promos with tiny bits of information in them when it'd probably be better to do one promo with all you got to say in them.

3. If you're a heel (and I assume you are?), you've done a pretty bad job of getting heat. You might want to look over the how to be a heel post and see if you can apply to anything because nothing you said struck me as 'what a fucking dick'. Saying stuff like 'idiots' to a bunch of imaginary fans isn't gonna get you heat and even if they were real,it's cheap as fuck.

4. Stop saying the goddamn word 'Cold', you overuse it SO much in this promo alone (and plenty of others, including the feed)

5. Proofread over your promos, noticed a few mistakes in there.

When I arrived here, I thought I was a fairly decent promo writer, but apparently, I am missing something that takes me from decent promos to victory. I'm not sure if it's the style, the content, or the character itself that is holding me back but any feedback I could get would be very much appreciated. I have grown to love this place in the short time I've been here so anything I can do to up my game to the level of those around here, I would be eternally grateful.

Gabriel Eden wrote:

When I arrived here, I thought I was a fairly decent promo writer, but apparently, I am missing something that takes me from decent promos to victory. I'm not sure if it's the style, the content, or the character itself that is holding me back but any feedback I could get would be very much appreciated. I have grown to love this place in the short time I've been here so anything I can do to up my game to the level of those around here, I would be eternally grateful.

Would you mind posting one on here or PMing me one?

Gabriel Eden wrote:

Here's the most recent one I posted



The Book of Eden

Chapter 1 Verse 1

    Has it gone too far? Before, it was about making an impact, but as the normal tit for tat would show, this has quickly become personal. Opportunities have been lost between him and I and yet, here we stand, poised and ready to allow the vicious circle to continue to spin. When does it become too much? When does the time come when one must look at the destruction behind him and realize that it is time for things to change? For me, that time is quickly approaching, and by the hand of God himself, I refuse to back down, I refuse to give up, and I refuse to allow this heathen to take what does not belong to him any longer. With Voltage looming on the horizon, I have had enough of this back and forth and I say that the time has come where the culmination of all of this chaos must bring itself forth. When this began, I was seeking to make a name for myself at the expense of Eclipse Diemos. Today, I stand here a determined spirit. I stand here now, anxiously awaiting the moment when I get to stand in the ring with him once more and lay this to rest for good. His antics can no longer go unpunished for it has been written that the Saint shall rise and lay waste to the darkness. At Voltage, at Battleground, no matter where it has to be, wherever Diemos looks to spread his depravity, I will be right there to make him pay for his sins. He believes he bathes in darkness, but the time has come for him to be baptised by fire and burn in my light…

            ~~~~~~ || ~~~~~~ || ~~~~~~ || ~~~~~~

    The sun shines through what appear to be stained glass windows, except instead of actual religious images, the windows show a glorified version of the battles between Gabriel Eden and Eclipse Diemos, telling the story of how we got to this point. As the camera pans around, it appears to be within a church, though nobody else is in attendance aside from Gabriel himself, who seems to be kneeling at the altar. As the camera moves closer, the prayer of Gabriel Eden can be heard echoing through the empty sanctuary.

    “Time is ticking. As each moment passes, my destiny becomes more clear. No longer can I sit by and wait for my stars to align. No more can I bide my time and hope that the miracles present themselves. This week at Voltage, I have to step into the ring once more and I have to face off against three men, while a fourth looms in the darkness. I am not going to pretend that in the back of my mind, the idea of Eclipse bringing his tainted dementia to get involved in my match isn’t prevalent. As I kneel before you today, please grant me the strength and the serenity to see to it that the evil he brings forth holds no bearing on the outcome of the match. As God as my witness, if Diemos gets involved in this match, I will personally see to it that he burns for his sins. After what I have seen from Dynamo Go, I have no reason to believe that my presence in that match is going to matter. Instead, I will enjoy watching Diemos suffer at the hands of Dynamo. Instead, I will focus on the task at hand, and if that abomination shows his face, I will drop him right on top of his tattooed head.”

Gabriel performs the Sign of the Cross before he rises to his feet, turning to face the camera as the rosary still dangles from his hand.

 “As for Voltage, I am prepared to step between those ropes once more and face down the competition of three men looking to make a quick end to my night. Gilbert Gregg, Seto Kontar, and Rokuro Masada each are hoping that this match is going to be the springboard that launches them out of obscurity. The four of us will wage war and at the end of the night, only one man will be left standing tall, sending the fans home happy and with their money’s worth. One by one, the numbers will dwindle until the bright lights of Portland, Oregon shine down upon one man, one saint… Me.”


Gabriel moves down from the altar, slowly striding between the pews as he continues on.

“The only man that has shown anything that resembles the drive, determination, and ability that it takes to succeed is Rokuro Masada. Victorious last week and looking to capitalize on the momentum, he seems to be pretty proud of himself, as he should be. Don’t get it mistaken though, believing in yourself is only half the battle. Take a look at Mr. Gregg for example. That man has all the belief in himself that he could ever need, but when that bell rings, he lacks the ability to make anything happen. Here’s hoping Masada doesn’t climb too high on his own hype train, because the fall he is going to suffer at Voltage could be enough to end him. You see, for too long have I stood on the cusp of a breakthrough, only to have it torn away from me time and time again. Well unfortunately for Mr. Masada, I have had enough and I feel that the time for change has come. That changes comes at Masada’s expense, and nothing short of hell itself is going to stop me from walking out Voltage victorious. If Diemos has done nothing else aside from draw my ire, he has sparked that holy fire within me has me read to set the EAW ablaze.”

As he reaches the end of the pews, he stops within an arched doorway that resembles a pair of angel’s wings. The angle of the camera shifts and with the light shining behind him, it actually appears the wings are attached to Eden. After a moment, Gabriel lets out a deep breath before breaking the silence.

“Voltage will be my rebirth. After the lights go out and the arena empties, the one thing that will be fresh on the minds of the masses will be the beginning… Finally, the ascension of the Steel City Saint will be prolonged no longer. One by one, they all will fall. At Voltage, this saint begins his path to leaving sainthood and the ascension towards becoming the Archangel of Vengeance… Watch these wings as they begin to grow…”

The deep thrum of the organ can be heard filling the church as the scene fades.

I don't know why you're saying that you're not a good promoer or writer because I thought this was very good and actually compelling. You got your character down and the content in it is very good.

Not much advice I can really give you tbh from this promo, although I will say you could make your character more identifiable if you're a babyface so its easier to get behind you and root for you but aside from that, I'd say this is a very good promo.

I agree with Demon.

I am new here, still getting used to the style, but I like that you use description to break up the promo - I see a lot of promos that are simply monologues with no sense of scene or description. It helps that you build an overall picture of the scene.

Here are some general pointers that I have picked up over the years, that people may find useful (providing that you actually like my style of promoing)

1 - Avoid the 'Stand and Shoot' promo: The promos where your character simply stands and talks. There are always creative ways of making a scene, putting your character into a context worth reading. If I don't get a sense of where the character is and some basic description to help me picture the scene, I generally stop reading.

2 - Creativity: This is linked to the above pointer. Give your character something interesting to do, something that leaves the reader hanging on throughout the promo. I like to join my writing together with analogies and metaphors, comparing my opponents to things that I come across in my rp - other than that, take the character on a journey... Have fun with it, it is more than simply smack talk.

3 - Proof read and check grammar: Nothing kills a piece of writing more than poor spelling, poor grammar and general sloppiness. Avoid things like the overuse of ellipsis (dot, dot, dot), missing punctuation marks and overcapitalisation of words (we can get the sense of your character shouting from description).

4 - Work within your own range: You do not need to use $100 words when $10 words will do. Overblowing a piece of writing to the point where one needs a thesaurus to read it only kills the writing. Promo as you would speak, unless you are illiterate. If you use large words when speaking, use large words. If your character wouldn't use simpler words, use simpler words - a simple promo can be more impactful than an elaborate one if written cleverly.

@Gabriel: In that sense, you are a good promo writer. Keep it up, keep developing the depth of the character, keep describing and leading the reader on a journey. I like it.

Hayden the Kiwi wrote:

I agree with Demon.

I am new here, still getting used to the style, but I like that you use description to break up the promo - I see a lot of promos that are simply monologues with no sense of scene or description. It helps that you build an overall picture of the scene.

Here are some general pointers that I have picked up over the years, that people may find useful (providing that you actually like my style of promoing)

1 - Avoid the 'Stand and Shoot' promo: The promos where your character simply stands and talks. There are always creative ways of making a scene, putting your character into a context worth reading. If I don't get a sense of where the character is and some basic description to help me picture the scene, I generally stop reading.

2 - Creativity: This is linked to the above pointer. Give your character something interesting to do, something that leaves the reader hanging on throughout the promo. I like to join my writing together with analogies and metaphors, comparing my opponents to things that I come across in my rp - other than that, take the character on a journey... Have fun with it, it is more than simply smack talk.

3 - Proof read and check grammar: Nothing kills a piece of writing more than poor spelling, poor grammar and general sloppiness. Avoid things like the overuse of ellipsis (dot, dot, dot), missing punctuation marks and overcapitalisation of words (we can get the sense of your character shouting from description).

4 - Work within your own range: You do not need to use $100 words when $10 words will do. Overblowing a piece of writing to the point where one needs a thesaurus to read it only kills the writing. Promo as you would speak, unless you are illiterate. If you use large words when speaking, use large words. If your character wouldn't use simpler words, use simpler words - a simple promo can be more impactful than an elaborate one if written cleverly.

@Gabriel: In that sense, you are a good promo writer. Keep it up, keep developing the depth of the character, keep describing and leading the reader on a journey. I like it.

I disagree with a fair bit of this. Particularly the "stand and shoot" comments. Some people don't like setting the scene every time, especially at this pace it's hard to come up with a brand new setting or scenario with every match. At first, maybe, but I've found it burns up pretty quickly. Many people from Hall of Famers to World Champions do what I call "blog style" promos where - much like a blog - there is no setting or even actions, just text talking about your opponent.

I'm not discouraging setting a scene, but if you have a different style of writing than what's normally thought as an e-fed promo, it's cool here. I think Haruna Sakazaki has a very unique presentation where her promos are formatted like diary entries, so it wouldn't make sense to try and "set a scene" per se. It's not so much about doing things a particular way as it is just having an entertaining promo.

My view on scenes compared to monologue promos:

There's nothing wrong with fleshing out detail and I fancy writing a scene or writing within the structure of one on many an occasion myself, but it's my strong belief that monologues add an element of intensity and realism that is often lacking in scene promos where it reads more like a movie script than words a wrestling character legitimately believes. Some of EAW's greatest promoers write in both story and monologue format, and I honestly don't think either is better than the other. EAW's roots were clearly based in the concise, to-the-point style executed to perfection by the likes of Mr. DEDEDE, HRDO, and many more e-fedders considered legends within this circle. What do scenes do better in my opinion? They humanize your character and allow them to come across like an average civilian you'd meet in the subway. They allow the flexibility to be as creative as the handler wishes, but I find a lot of the people who frequently write in this format lacking in the department of intensity and a sense that the promo is actually being said in real life as opposed to some sort of fairy tale. That isn't to say there aren't exceptional promoers who exclusively write with scenes, but neither a scene nor monologue has anything to do with how effective the portrayal of your character is so much as the person behind it. Quite frankly, I don't give a fuck if you're holding a cigarette on your ear while drinking alcohol on that basis alone; it's all about how you explain your actions, your motives, what your pursuits are and why you're engaging in this activity. Otherwise, it's just a filler no more creative than any promo without a scene.

Furthermore, there's no need to sweat or get nervous over making minor grammatical errors. Quality of writing is extremely important to me, but the fact that creativity trumps over everything notwithstanding, I don't give a shit if you misspell a random word here and there. Certain things like that may be an eyesore to pedant fuckwads, but they're really of very little concern and inconsequential to the main theme of your promo provided you're not making amateur mistakes every other sentence. Be comfortable in your own skin, don't try to adapt to what another person's vision of your character should be unless you want to become unmotivated and constantly start questioning yourself with every line you write. Hashing out a character you enjoy writing for makes it a lot easier to be consistent, and I hope that's something a lot of these people with abstract gimmicks who go inactive after a week or two realize. Creativity is great, but don't attempt to go beyond your means if you can't envision yourself writing for that character without it seeming tedious and boring.

Scene set promos vs just talking promos has been a highly contested clash of opinions for a long time. Personally I do both at random whenever I feel like, and while scene promos are far more logical to me since one might be curious where the person is speaking or what the person doing-and it can add to the character by the motions and how the person carries himself in places and the places themselves can detail what kind of person the character is for being there- just talking speeches are cool on a quick promo sense or if you just don't want to do a scene, and even without scenes someone can have a personal style to their promos that can bring added elements to their characters and promos. Still, logical wise, I see why people support scenes over the other, even though I myself do not always make scenes.

J Dynasty wrote:

Scene set promos vs just talking promos has been a highly contested clash of opinions for a long time. Personally I do both at random whenever I feel like, and while scene promos are far more logical to me since one might be curious where the person is speaking or what the person doing-and it can add to the character by the motions and how the person carries himself in places and the places themselves can detail what kind of person the character is for being there- just talking speeches are cool on a quick promo sense or if you just don't want to do a scene, and even without scenes someone can have a personal style to their promos that can bring added elements to their characters and promos. Still, logical wise, I see why people support scenes over the other, even though I myself do not always make scenes.

I'm very much the same.

Especially when I first started the Clark Duncan character, I found scene promos to be fun and effective in establishing who Clark was. Now, I've slowly strayed away from scene promos as I've had matches where I rather just promo the traditional way (or what is more or less considerd the norm here). Occasionally, particularly in weeks we're I'm not booked for a match, I've make a developmental or topical promo that's in a scene, just for something different. It all comes down to personal preference.

I say why limit yourself to a specific style? Dats racist. Do what you want and do it well.

Vance Tybull wrote:

Hayden the Kiwi wrote:

I agree with Demon.

I am new here, still getting used to the style, but I like that you use description to break up the promo - I see a lot of promos that are simply monologues with no sense of scene or description. It helps that you build an overall picture of the scene.

Here are some general pointers that I have picked up over the years, that people may find useful (providing that you actually like my style of promoing)

1 - Avoid the 'Stand and Shoot' promo: The promos where your character simply stands and talks. There are always creative ways of making a scene, putting your character into a context worth reading. If I don't get a sense of where the character is and some basic description to help me picture the scene, I generally stop reading.

2 - Creativity: This is linked to the above pointer. Give your character something interesting to do, something that leaves the reader hanging on throughout the promo. I like to join my writing together with analogies and metaphors, comparing my opponents to things that I come across in my rp - other than that, take the character on a journey... Have fun with it, it is more than simply smack talk.

3 - Proof read and check grammar: Nothing kills a piece of writing more than poor spelling, poor grammar and general sloppiness. Avoid things like the overuse of ellipsis (dot, dot, dot), missing punctuation marks and overcapitalisation of words (we can get the sense of your character shouting from description).

4 - Work within your own range: You do not need to use $100 words when $10 words will do. Overblowing a piece of writing to the point where one needs a thesaurus to read it only kills the writing. Promo as you would speak, unless you are illiterate. If you use large words when speaking, use large words. If your character wouldn't use simpler words, use simpler words - a simple promo can be more impactful than an elaborate one if written cleverly.

@Gabriel: In that sense, you are a good promo writer. Keep it up, keep developing the depth of the character, keep describing and leading the reader on a journey. I like it.

I disagree with a fair bit of this. Particularly the "stand and shoot" comments. Some people don't like setting the scene every time, especially at this pace it's hard to come up with a brand new setting or scenario with every match. At first, maybe, but I've found it burns up pretty quickly. Many people from Hall of Famers to World Champions do what I call "blog style" promos where - much like a blog - there is no setting or even actions, just text talking about your opponent.

I'm not discouraging setting a scene, but if you have a different style of writing than what's normally thought as an e-fed promo, it's cool here. I think Haruna Sakazaki has a very unique presentation where her promos are formatted like diary entries, so it wouldn't make sense to try and "set a scene" per se. It's not so much about doing things a particular way as it is just having an entertaining promo.

Fair points - I never thought of viewing those promos as a blog-style promo. That will completely change how I view them, give them the context that I need to respect fully where the writer is coming from.

I am coming from more of a 'scene writing' style of promoing - that works for me as a writer. I don't want to discourage anybody else's style, it is more what I am used to. I don't write blogs and don't read them so wouldn't really be able to write in that style. It would feel like something is missing for me. But, there are some talented writers out there that write in that style.

As I am still new here, and there are loads and loads of writers on the roster, can people point me in some directions?
Who are some of the better 'scene style' writers?
Who are some of the better 'blog style' writers'?
Who are some writers that can do it all consistently well?

Hayden the Kiwi wrote:

Vance Tybull wrote:

Hayden the Kiwi wrote:

I agree with Demon.

I am new here, still getting used to the style, but I like that you use description to break up the promo - I see a lot of promos that are simply monologues with no sense of scene or description. It helps that you build an overall picture of the scene.

Here are some general pointers that I have picked up over the years, that people may find useful (providing that you actually like my style of promoing)

1 - Avoid the 'Stand and Shoot' promo: The promos where your character simply stands and talks. There are always creative ways of making a scene, putting your character into a context worth reading. If I don't get a sense of where the character is and some basic description to help me picture the scene, I generally stop reading.

2 - Creativity: This is linked to the above pointer. Give your character something interesting to do, something that leaves the reader hanging on throughout the promo. I like to join my writing together with analogies and metaphors, comparing my opponents to things that I come across in my rp - other than that, take the character on a journey... Have fun with it, it is more than simply smack talk.

3 - Proof read and check grammar: Nothing kills a piece of writing more than poor spelling, poor grammar and general sloppiness. Avoid things like the overuse of ellipsis (dot, dot, dot), missing punctuation marks and overcapitalisation of words (we can get the sense of your character shouting from description).

4 - Work within your own range: You do not need to use $100 words when $10 words will do. Overblowing a piece of writing to the point where one needs a thesaurus to read it only kills the writing. Promo as you would speak, unless you are illiterate. If you use large words when speaking, use large words. If your character wouldn't use simpler words, use simpler words - a simple promo can be more impactful than an elaborate one if written cleverly.

@Gabriel: In that sense, you are a good promo writer. Keep it up, keep developing the depth of the character, keep describing and leading the reader on a journey. I like it.

I disagree with a fair bit of this. Particularly the "stand and shoot" comments. Some people don't like setting the scene every time, especially at this pace it's hard to come up with a brand new setting or scenario with every match. At first, maybe, but I've found it burns up pretty quickly. Many people from Hall of Famers to World Champions do what I call "blog style" promos where - much like a blog - there is no setting or even actions, just text talking about your opponent.

I'm not discouraging setting a scene, but if you have a different style of writing than what's normally thought as an e-fed promo, it's cool here. I think Haruna Sakazaki has a very unique presentation where her promos are formatted like diary entries, so it wouldn't make sense to try and "set a scene" per se. It's not so much about doing things a particular way as it is just having an entertaining promo.

Fair points - I never thought of viewing those promos as a blog-style promo. That will completely change how I view them, give them the context that I need to respect fully where the writer is coming from.

I am coming from more of a 'scene writing' style of promoing - that works for me as a writer. I don't want to discourage anybody else's style, it is more what I am used to. I don't write blogs and don't read them so wouldn't really be able to write in that style. It would feel like something is missing for me. But, there are some talented writers out there that write in that style.

As I am still new here, and there are loads and loads of writers on the roster, can people point me in some directions?
Who are some of the better 'scene style' writers?
Who are some of the better 'blog style' writers'?
Who are some writers that can do it all consistently well?

Best "Scene Style" Promoers- (In my opinion)
1. The Pizza Boy
2. Carlos Rosso
3. Chuck Scene 

Best "Blog Style" Promoers- (In my opinion)
1. Tyler Parker
2. Mr. DEDEDE
3. Dark Demon

Chucky P. wrote:

Hayden the Kiwi wrote:

Vance Tybull wrote:

Hayden the Kiwi wrote:

I agree with Demon.

I am new here, still getting used to the style, but I like that you use description to break up the promo - I see a lot of promos that are simply monologues with no sense of scene or description. It helps that you build an overall picture of the scene.

Here are some general pointers that I have picked up over the years, that people may find useful (providing that you actually like my style of promoing)

1 - Avoid the 'Stand and Shoot' promo: The promos where your character simply stands and talks. There are always creative ways of making a scene, putting your character into a context worth reading. If I don't get a sense of where the character is and some basic description to help me picture the scene, I generally stop reading.

2 - Creativity: This is linked to the above pointer. Give your character something interesting to do, something that leaves the reader hanging on throughout the promo. I like to join my writing together with analogies and metaphors, comparing my opponents to things that I come across in my rp - other than that, take the character on a journey... Have fun with it, it is more than simply smack talk.

3 - Proof read and check grammar: Nothing kills a piece of writing more than poor spelling, poor grammar and general sloppiness. Avoid things like the overuse of ellipsis (dot, dot, dot), missing punctuation marks and overcapitalisation of words (we can get the sense of your character shouting from description).

4 - Work within your own range: You do not need to use $100 words when $10 words will do. Overblowing a piece of writing to the point where one needs a thesaurus to read it only kills the writing. Promo as you would speak, unless you are illiterate. If you use large words when speaking, use large words. If your character wouldn't use simpler words, use simpler words - a simple promo can be more impactful than an elaborate one if written cleverly.

@Gabriel: In that sense, you are a good promo writer. Keep it up, keep developing the depth of the character, keep describing and leading the reader on a journey. I like it.

I disagree with a fair bit of this. Particularly the "stand and shoot" comments. Some people don't like setting the scene every time, especially at this pace it's hard to come up with a brand new setting or scenario with every match. At first, maybe, but I've found it burns up pretty quickly. Many people from Hall of Famers to World Champions do what I call "blog style" promos where - much like a blog - there is no setting or even actions, just text talking about your opponent.

I'm not discouraging setting a scene, but if you have a different style of writing than what's normally thought as an e-fed promo, it's cool here. I think Haruna Sakazaki has a very unique presentation where her promos are formatted like diary entries, so it wouldn't make sense to try and "set a scene" per se. It's not so much about doing things a particular way as it is just having an entertaining promo.

Fair points - I never thought of viewing those promos as a blog-style promo. That will completely change how I view them, give them the context that I need to respect fully where the writer is coming from.

I am coming from more of a 'scene writing' style of promoing - that works for me as a writer. I don't want to discourage anybody else's style, it is more what I am used to. I don't write blogs and don't read them so wouldn't really be able to write in that style. It would feel like something is missing for me. But, there are some talented writers out there that write in that style.

As I am still new here, and there are loads and loads of writers on the roster, can people point me in some directions?
Who are some of the better 'scene style' writers?
Who are some of the better 'blog style' writers'?
Who are some writers that can do it all consistently well?

Best "Scene Style" Promoers- (In my opinion)
1. The Pizza Boy
2. Carlos Rosso
3. Chuck Scene 

Best "Blog Style" Promoers- (In my opinion)
1. Tyler Parker
2. Mr. DEDEDE
3. Dark Demon

Both-
1. Jaywalker
2. Y2Impact
3. Clark Duncan

I'd also like to point out that "scene style" promos barely exist in mainstream promotions like WWE today. I enjoy doing them and reading them, but it reminds me a lot of those skits from early '90s WWF - which were great and all, but most of the promoers people cream over today (CM Punk, John Cena, Seth Rollins, and the like) barely ever have any scene to speak of other than promoing in front of a live audience. That is essentially what people who write "monologue promos" in EAW are doing. It's a mesh of two different styles, both of which are prevalent or have been prevalent in professional wrestling at some point in time.

Lol @ ppl listing themselves as best promoers

The Franchise Demon wrote:

Battleground Promo #1 - 9/22/15

You find that funny EAW Universe? You think it's some sort of joke? YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY?!?! You look up to a person like him? You look up to that cold soul...disgusting....cruel....gutless Diamond Cage?? You people look up to a person that cheap shots people? Diamond Cage labels himself as another hero in this world but he just proved on Battleground that he's like everyone else in this world and all you people watching at home....you people are villains. You people call me the villain? You need to look yourself in the mirror, I'm the hero in this fight. You people may or may not be fans of mine but there are some of you that ask for my autographs at live events or when I'm at an airport then you go back home and sell a shirt or hat I signed on eBay. You people are the ones that are villains just like Hillary Clinton when she got caught in a scandal then is trying to run for president and act like nothing happened. Stuff like this makes me sick and disgusted, it also makes me sick that some of you people enjoy pain being suffered on a human being. Not only pain was suffered but embarrassment was too, I AM THE HERO! WAKE THE HELL UP!!! Diamond Cage maybe satisfied of what happened on Battleground but he will forever know deep down inside that The Franchise Demon kidnapped him and it affected him for almost a year of his life. Diamond Cage knows that deep down inside.....I know it....and all you people know it as well. But the difference between myself and Diamond Cage is that I show up the next week defending my royal kingdom know as Battleground. Cage doesn't care about all you people, if Cage was a true hero he would show up on Battleground every single week? But guess what? He doesn't, but you want to know who does? I DO!

But now I have to travel all the way to the shit hole of America which is Rhode Island? This is probably the last time EAW ever travels to the state of Rhode Island because it's sooo....SOOO dirty! All you people are dirty, you don't clean your streets, you don't shower, you sure as hell don't whip correctly so I sure as hell can't wait till Monday Night after my match to get the hell out of Rhode Island. The only reason I'm going to Rhode Island is to take on Hades in the main event of Battleground. No doubt in my mind, I respect the hell out of Hades, Kevin Devastation, Scott Oasis and Zack Crash. When I first found out Zack Crash sent Hades on assignment to Voltage I was so excited. I was hoping the horrible cancer of Voltage Mr. Ashten Cross would book me a match for Voltage one of these weeks and get to meet Hades. That unfortunately didn't happen then this past week on Battleground I find out 'The Franchise Demon Challenge Series' continues and finally Ashten Cross has woken up out of his shell and gave me something that I want and that is I finally get to meet Hades the Hellraiser. If you people think I was afraid of Hades at the end of Battleground you have another thing coming, I will personally send you to an empty grave with your name on it! Now Hades, there is nothing than I want more at Territorial Invasion: Civil War is for you and the rest of Team EAW to take out that garbage known as Dynasty Wrestling. I will be the happiest person on earth when Zach Crash gets the rights to Dynasty Wrestling on September 26th. You may raise hell wherever you go but I experienced hell multiple times so it's going to take more then enough to put me away. You are going to have to look at not the only the reigning...defending...undisputed KING OF BATTLEGROUND but you also have to look into the eyes of the dragon. All nice things come aside once that bell rings on Monday...I have to do something for myself and that is prove to the world that I deserve to be here and I will do that by making a statement. And that statement is by taking out the most respected person on the EAW roster from yours truly. I will gladly take you to the limit Hades but just remember...I have no problem putting you in a body bag. Get ready to walk into enemy territory my friend!

First I'd like to say that I haven't checked in on this thread in some time and I think you've definitely improved a bit.  There aren't as many hiccups in how you write things out, but I think there's still room for tuning up grammatically and maybe even in the comprehension department.  I'd say re-read, and I'm sure you do already, but take an hour or so and come back to re-read a 2nd time.

Otherwise, it's not bad.  It's generic heel sneering, but it works.  I still don't feel like I know enough about your character from reading your writing, so that might be why the generic crowd poppy 'I hate hometown USA' bit bugs me a little.  The promo also feels like it ended abruptly.  But on the plus side, you're definitely more coherent than before.  My main suggestion would probably be write more.  Tell us about you, expand upon your back story, especially going into a match with someone that you've hinted at having major history with.

Notes: Shorter then usual but wanted to make it look like I was scared going into our match, did I do a good job at it?



Most painful "meet and greets" of my life? Hold up.....Mr. Hades have you heard about my history? Do you know who I am? I AM THE FRANCHISE DEMON, I have dealt with a lot of painful meet and greets in my lifetime. How about the multiple birthdays....the multiple Christmas' when I had to spend in the day care center all alone and no one to talk to? I may had my brother with me in the day care center but that was short lived. All those painful days....nights.....special holidays have been all dark for me since I was less then ten years old. Nothing about me is good? Have you seen my resume? I have defeated a former New Breed Champion named Stark...almost sent him to the hospital that night, had one of the most important matches in my career these last few weeks against Dark Demon, Psycho Brody and Diamond Cage. I pinned Psycho Brody in the middle of the ring one....two.....three! Dark Demon? Fluke victory, still showed an impressive showing and now Diamond Cage this past week on my show! I was trying to talk some sense into Mr. Cage before our match and he decides to cheap shot me out of no where? Another fluke victory in the books....But you want to know something that Cage, Demon and Brody all have in common? THEY ARE THE VILLAINS IN THIS WORLD. I go to Battleground every week and not only defend my royal kingdom with an iron fist but I show the people that pay there hard owned money to see me and show them why I AM THE KING OF THIS FUCKING SHOW! The same result happens every week Hades....someone goes against me in a match and just leave because they have no appreciation for the fans. People like you and myself are the heroes in this world trying make a resurrection and make this world bright again. And I want to start that but I'm just missing something....I'm missing experience. You want to know why I didn't get the job done and terminate Diamond Cage? Not only did he not cheap shot me but I need a special force to take down a person like Diamond Cage. This is why I'm asking you Hades, let me join with you, Scott Oasis and the rest of Zack Crash's team. My royal kingdom can turn into all of our kingdom's and we can rule this kingdom with an iron fist so no one from that disgusting cesspool known as Dynasty Wrestling can step foot in our arena's again. I maybe be that missing piece from Team EAW to take down Team Dynasty. But if we rule this kingdom with an iron fist, there is no point for us to have this match. I want to make people suffer as well and term mercy will not be slayed on my body. Mercy will be slammed on the people in this world that want to make this country hell like keeping the economy still over seven billion dollars debt in taxes. So Hades, I'm begging you as a huge fan and from god take my hand and together we can lead the royal EAW kingdom together and finally take out that disgusting cancer of Voltage.....Ashten Cross!

I'll go against my better judgement and give you advice, even though you've proven time after time to not listen to any advice whatsoever:

-I know you're a heel but you said originally you let your nerves get to you against me, now you're saying it's a fluke. Why change that? The nerves getting to you isn't a huge deal or anything to change around, yes you may be a heel but saying 'it was a fluke!!!' every time you lose gets stale, repetitive and it's unoriginal, especially when you lose clean. Nerves getting to you was a fine ark because hello, IT'S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. 'Yes, my nerves got to me, but I pinned Brody and yes I lost to Cage but I'm still developing, still adjusting to the big dogs and when I do, oh boy you guys aren't going to be able to stop me!'. Come up with something new, the same tired old excuses make reading your promos an absolute chore.

- Get an actual character and stick to it. Seriously. One moment you're this dark guy who lost his parents, apparently a psychopath who needs to see a doctor and now you're apparently a king but then a second later you're a conspiracy theorist about Ashten Cross, which is it?. It's absolutely confusing to me in trying to understand just what exactly your character is. Either decide you're a dark character or you're doing some weird king of Battleground shit, because flip-flopping between both is confusing and un-needed.

-You're a heel, but I don't see anything in this promo that makes me hate you, whatsoever. Am I meant to boo you because you talk about how people showup on Battleground, face you and leave while you show-up every week for the fans? Are people meant to boo you because you call all your opponents a ''villian'' without even remotely trying to explain how? I'm confused.

I'm the Conor McGregor of this shit and I refuse to help. Can't give away all my gold right now damn.

This thread is solid though, read through A LOT of stuff here

King of Battleground is to make it look like I'm to cocky and think I'm real good. I agree I need to jump off the fluke victory shit. Ashten Cross shit is I want revenge on him for not booking me every week and I finally want to feel appreciated in life that I made it with EAW. Trying to connect I had no one to talk to like a family figure and and feel appreciated