I walk into the Showdown arena.

My music hits to the pleasure of the audience and out walks Diamond Cage.

Diamond Cage has Jamie flat on his back.

Dark Demon knocks DC for a loop and screams.

**Dark Demon VoiceOver: YOU WANT TO GET INVOLVED IN MY BUSINESS?! I SWEAR TO GOD THAT I’M GOING TO DO THE SAME THING THAT I DID TO HBB, TO YOU!! YOU THINK THAT WHAT DEDEDE DID YOU TO YOU BACK, YOU HAVEN’T SEEN ANYTHING YET!!**

I'm sorry, maybe I was hit a little bit too hard and I had to just remember what occurred on Showdown. I'm not going to lie and say it was something shocking, but why keep this cockroach around. Just doesn't make any sense, why didn't you get rid of me right then and there. Or maybe you were just sending a message. What order was really restored? You resulted to guerrilla warfare in this jigsaw puzzle of a twisted history we have, you wanted to send a message. I see, and I received it loud and clear and I honestly understand. In fact, it might be more fun this way. One thing I was able to catch as I keep playing the footage of me about to win and you getting the revenge from me preventing you from doing further damage to Mike. I understand the barbaric nature of a man, but all Mike was is a that old horse and maybe, just maybe one day he'll come back to race again. Maybe you finally put the final nail in the coffin and put him out of his misery. What you did to him, you had the perfect chance to do to me. I was vulnerable in the ring, or maybe that was a warning, maybe you are warning me and using the examples of Mike to make put fear into my heart. I don't fear you. As much as I know how sick and twisted you can get, I don't fear you. I know deep down in my guts that you know I am not like HBB, I am not born again. I picked your moment where you wanted to end a man for good, and I decided to emerge simply because it seemed like the right time to come back. I haven't had a very good time in this place in awhile. I'm a man with a vendetta. I am a man soaked in blood, most of it doesn't even belong to me. It belongs to those who were noble fighters. It wasn't personal with them, it isn't personal with you either. 

I can clean my body all I want, I can't be forgiven for all the blood I've spilled. I can't be forgiven for targeting a Demon. I have nothing to lose, I welcome this game of chess, I welcome this game of who can be the most sick and most twisted and most violent. Who can push that envelope just a little bit further. I welcome it, I won't shy away from it. Mike is a weak man, you are just as weak as he was. Let me explain, Mike was weak, as much as he could talk about going to a new level of barbarism, his heart wasn't into that. It was the mind playing tricks, but his heart wasn't into it, but you. Man you are a different entente, you are weak as I said before. But you are a weak scum bag, and like any scum bag you'd do what you can, betray who you want, and take advantage of any weak man. Here's where I come in, I like to beat up scum bags, I live my life everyday to get my hands on a scum bag and beat him. But here's where this war between you and I gets interesting, I'm a scum bag aswell, so from one scum bag to another. I WELCOME THIS WAR! It's fitting, we leave a massacre and were on a crash course to a war, but this ain't civil. What this really is, is you not liking me, and I don't like you. There's some bad blood between us. The only thing I can promise is us tearing each other apart, I wouldn't have it any other way. I have nothing to lose to you, maybe you are sick and twisted maybe you are willing to get inside the head of Diamond Cage by doing what all men love to do, you'll try and tear my heart out my chest. You'll soon find out in war, I don't need a heart, nothing matters but me showing up and putting my fist up, I know nothing else. I am a violent buffoon, I fight to survive, I've been having to survive all year. I don't want to die, and leaving EAW felt like dying to me. But I have fought and I managed to survive, the cockroach you hit with a shoe is still crawling. I came back to right the wrongs, I want to do it by myself. I am a known menace to authority, maybe I made you a hurdle by getting in your “business” truth be told you have no business. I welcome new enemies, but you aren't a new enemy aren't you? We know each other, we've known each other for a long time, we've fought against each other. I'll happily take you down, Cameron couldn't do it, the great HBB or whatever is left of him couldn't do it, and maybe you think I don't have a chance, well what you think has never mattered to me anyway. Fact is, I'm excited. I'm looking forward to whatever sick scheme you got. Because for every action, there's a harsh reaction. My reaction might end our sick and twisted little story this time around on chapter one.

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https://eawnetwork.forumotion.com/viewtopic.forum?t=2968

 
 
An axe comes striking down lazily on a block of wood and doesn’t go all the way through. A sigh is heard, almost a pout from a teenage girl as she lifts the axe stuck in the wood up and holds it still.
 
Tommy Dillon: Yeah, not quite like that hunny. Gotta make it a smooth motion when you cut through. That (he laughs) was not smooth, but it sure was something.
 
Cailin Dillon: Seriously dad, what the hell am I doing this for? Are you trying to be all wise and nostalgic and teach me some kind of lesson by making me chop wood for the fire. (She bundles up in her hoodie, slightly shivering) This is Texas, but it’s still winter and it’s at least a little chilly.
 
Cailin shakes the axe in her hands again until her dad takes it and drives it down into a block, splitting it in two.
 
Tommy Dillon: Look at you being all sassy today. Your old man can’t just relax and watch you do some of the housework? Besides, yes, there is something to be learned by this. There’s a metaphor in chopping wood. If you do it the same way every time and develop a little rhythm in your swing, you’ll be splitting wood perfectly every time. And that’s what this is all about, developing that consistency in achieving your goal over and over. You see, you’re really into this wrestling thing, and I don’t know if it will last forever or not, but this is a good thing to learn right now. Whether you wrestle or not in the future, this is going to teach you that consistency and rhythm can take you far. Ok, off my soapbox.
 
He smiles as he steps forward, holding the axe in both hands as his arms stretch out to offer it to her. She shakes her head as she approaches and takes it from him, looking unhappy about it, but ready to give it a shot anyways. He places another piece of wood on the block and she steps up, ready to hit it when she goes weightless. She shakes her head and looks over at him.
 
Cailin Dillon: Dad… do you think mom would be ok with me wrestling?
 
Tommy laughs and backs up to a large log on the ground, bending over and taking a seat, folding his hands together as he looks at her.
 
Tommy Dillon: You know, she probably wouldn’t be thrilled by it all, but she would support you. She used to tease me so much about how I watched and was so into it. She always said I better not get our daughter addicted to it. If she was here today, she’d be watching you every time you fought. She’d make me travel around the country or even world to see you if she could. No matter what you’d do, she would want to watch.
 
Cailin smiles at the notion as she thinks about the mother she never met. She turns her attention back to the piece of wood on the block and takes a nearly perfect swing through it, chopping the wood in two all the way to the block. There’s a screeching sound as she wakes up and looks around a pitch-black hotel room, looking at the clock that read 5:30 a.m. She turns and climbs out of bed, looking around the room for clothes, as she gets ready to head to a workout. She finds her phone and texts her dad.
 
 
Yeah, what’s going on?


 
She’d immediately go into her contacts and make the call, her dad answering on the second ring.
 
Tommy Dillon: Hello?
 
Cailin Dillon: Hey dad, sorry to call early, I was just thinking about mom and all the stuff going on right now.
 
Tommy Dillon: What’s going on? Is something bothering you?
 
Cailin Dillon: Honestly? I’m nervous, I’m excited and I’m everything in between. This tournament is incredible. I fought Maddie tooth and nail, even if she wants to be all crazy delusional and believe that she kicked me ass. Every one saw how I was in the match from the beginning to the end. Pure Karma tough, huh? I mentioned all week how see lost that match with Tarah even though unforeseen circumstances sort of cost her the match… and then she goes and uses the ropes to pin me. I wondered why it was so hard to power out of it. She cheated, that was why. But I lost. Just ironic I guess.
 
Tommy Dillon: Yeah, she used your own words against you, didn’t she?
 
Cailin Dillon: I thought I had a chance, but I was nervous about my biggest match ever, and she was feeling through her anger. But I was right there! Ugh!! But I won’t let one win or loss totally define me. I was having a dream before I woke up… reliving a moment from my rebellious teen years (they share a laugh).
 
Tommy Dillon: Let me guess… something I had to teach your obnoxious butt.
 
Cailin Dillon: Yeah it was the keep chopping wood or sawing wood, or rowing the boat thing… I don’t know. The one that made you sound like a lame high school football coach or something.
 
Tommy Dillon: Hey now, I’ll have you know that I have never lost a football game yet. I’ve never coached one, but still! (They laugh together again).
 
Cailin Dillon: Anyways, that’s kind of how I’ve felt this whole time getting ready for the matches in this tournament. It’s so weird, never have I been in a situation where I know so many of my matches so far out. I mean, I get to fight Haruna and Cam still, and this next match may well be the hardest, but it’s also the only one I’ve even spent one second thinking about.
 
Tommy Dillon: Ah, the rematch.
 
Cailin Dillon: Yes! I think that match between Eris and I was the best one I’ve been a part of since I got here. So much back and forth. So gritty, yet also with so many flashes of technicality. We went at each other so hard during the buildup to that match. She earned so much more of my respect than I ever gave her before. With this while Iconomy thing I have going on, I’ve learned that me and her are sort of in the same category. We’re fighting our asses off just to make sure they’ll give us another match. Neither of us are in the hunt for a title, really, but we’re not going to let it slow us down. We’re so different, yet so similar. It’s sort of amazing. I imagine she’s as jacked as I am to do this again.
 
Tommy Dillon: Where’s the mean tough and gruff Cailin I’ve grown used to lately? Going soft on me?
 
Cailin Dillon: God no, I still want to win, but still… it’s pretty exciting to get another shot at Eris. I think both of us would just love some resolution from that match. Not some dude named Chuck showing up and attacking us. I didn’t even no who Chuck Scene was before then, and now I’m involved involuntarily with this weird feud between him and another guy. But… I want to take advantage of this second chance. I wondered if I would get another one. That was a co-main event but neither of us got as much out of it as we would have loved. The thing is, won or lose, I’ve been waiting to fight her again since the moment that match came to an early end.
 
Tommy Dillon: So this is all about Eris?
 
Cailin Dillon: No, not hardly all about her, it’s just a convenience that I have to thank the booking gods for. If she got put in a different block, who knows when we fight again. But between Eris and Raven Lee, the other girl I fight later this week, it’s gonna be a tough one. All these girls are so much more talented than someone like Maddie gives them credit for. And next week, holy crap, Haruna and Cam? This tournament is amazing, dad. This is more than I could have ever asked for when I came here. And now that I’ve won one match, I just have to keep that rhythm going and develop a little consistency. If I do, I’ll be fighting for tournament title before next month ends. But… first things first, let’s see what happens when me and Eris clash again. Oh, and did you see they triple booked me this week for matches. I’m going to debut in a fight on Dynasty against some girl named.. Suzie Spitz or some thing. It’s a busy week, a rough one really. But I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure I go 1-0 each time. Just like your coach ways have taught me. (They share a quick laugh before it dies off) Anyways dad, I gotta get to the gym. Love ya, bye!
 
Cailin hangs up the call and holds the phone close to her chest for a moment before jumping up and heading out of the room, on to prepare for the next biggest match of her career.

a mitchell street blog.

The land of Extremists is a very funny place at times and the last several weeks have been no different. The word opportunity is beginning to burn a gaping hole in my mind as it continues to confuse me. For the past several weeks I have made my hostility towards Extreme Answers Wrestling management well known. 
So when I was sitting at home putting everything in perspective after my last battleground match, I came to the conclusions things could only improve. Had management promised things they couldn’t deliver? Yes. Had management underutilized my ability in my opinion? Yes. But who was to say that couldn’t all change? I was in good spirits and really did try to keep an open mind. Since then however management has become stuck in quick sand so to speak. They made one bad decision, followed by another and another. It’s like the more management struggles the deeper they become in their mistakes. So where do we begin?


Several weeks ago now I defeated Brett Kennedy in a matchup. One….two….three. Now when it comes to Brett Kennedy, I have plenty to say but that will come. The fact of the matter is I was victorious once again and on my way to better things. This was preceded by my quarter final match in the Top Prospect tournament. Now I have resented this tournament from the beginning however I did what was asked of me and I competed. I showed up to the third string show and once again I was victorious. I have done everything management has asked of me and time after time I have exceeded their expectations. At this point in time my faith in management was slowly beginning to rebuild. They had done me no wrong and I was on the rise. Yet at this same point everything turned and this new low was one I hadn’t thought possible. Showdown rolls around and I have done everything to put my name on that very show. I heard rumors all week that several wrestlers would be involved in a number one contenders match for the Interwire Championship. My time had finally arrived. Finally I was about to be greeted with the opportunity I was promised and deserved. I waited patiently for the phone call to remind me I was required on Saturday Night but it never came. My anger was undeniable but not because I wasn’t chosen…but Brett Kennedy was. The man I had defeated blatantly and for everyone to see was now thrown into MY match.

So on Battleground I decided to make a statement. I am fed up with your stupidity and ignorance management. I have been asked so many times since my outburst “why would you do it Street?” Yet the answer is so simple for everyone to see. If that is what it takes to get my point across in this disgruntled company then that is exactly what I will do. I have made it clear week after wekk I AM A PRIZE FIGHTER. I will not fight for free because the when you’re the best at what you do, you simply do nothing for free. Whether you like me or you hate me, people pay to see Mitchell Street do what he does best. There is a far greater reason for that then simply wanting to attend an event. Years from now your kids will ask you “Dad, did you ever get to see the greatest of all time compete?” It’s at this time you can turn to your little offspring and say “You know son, I did get to see Mitchell Street do what he did better than anyone else”. This is why I made a statement. This is why I will continue to do so until I receive what is rightfully mine….Opportunity. When management finally offers me an opportunity worth my time, I may and I quote ‘may’ stop the beatings.

This week I did receive a call however but once again it was from the outcast brand Battleground. I was told my semifinal match in the Top Prospect tournament would take place this Monday Night. After several moments of some heated language on my behalf I asked whom I was supposed to be facing. The egotistic management executive babbled out James Seymour and your number one contender for the Interwire Championship Brett Kennedy. His words hit my like a truck and the darkest of paths became so clear. It is time for another statement. James Seymour, I really do have no problem with you at all. I have no personal vendetta against you and I do feel for you. You have been forced by management into a match that you do not need to be involved. This is truly a case of the wrong place at the wrong time Mr. Seymour. I’ve seen what you do first hand and believe me I am impressed. You’re good James you really are. But to compete with Mitchell Street you cannot simply be ‘good’. When you compete with the best in the game today, good is insufficient. This Monday Night James Seymour you will take a Wrong Turn and you will fail.

Brett Kennedy……or do you prefer Mr. Number One Contender? I must congratulate you Brett, you succeeded in your match and earnt that very spot. I’ve told you on numerous occasions Brett that I had no problem with you but for an unknown reason you continue to insult me. I read what you had to say and believe it or not Brett, I even read your blog. I see how hard you are working to ‘get under my skin’ so to speak and I really to respect it. Against many here, your tactics may work and you would waltz on your way to victory. However I have been around the block a little Brett and to me imitation is the greatest form of flattery . You have gone from insulting me personally, my background, my Japanese history and my family to now imitating. That is a very strange combination and it says one thing about a man. Brett Kennedy KNOWS he cannot defeat Mitchell Street. I know that since the day I beat you it has been eating you up. I know that since that very day you have promised ‘redemption’. You have promised all of this because he is scared. Promises are the easiest thing for a professional wrestler to make. You can promise anything you want in this business and when you don’t succeed you come back out the next week and start again. The best in this industry do not need to make promises Brett as what I have proven is week in week out I am BETTER THAN YOU.

So my match this Monday Night is the most exciting since my debut. Not only will I advance to the Top Prospect final I get to do it all at the expense of Brett Kennedy. You even went as far to say as and I quote “Mitchell Street could not beat me on my worst day”. If I cannot beat you on your ‘worst’ day Mr. Kennedy then can you please explain why the history books read Street 1…..Kennedy 0? These are some of the things you really have to think about before you speak Brett but you will learn. I still hold out extreme high hopes for you and believe you may even ‘make’ it one day. But mark my words Monday is not your day. This Monday Night I fight for the right for one more match and a match at my PRIZE. The Top Prosepect tournament is now mine for the taking. I do not want the title of ‘Top Prospect’…. I NEED IT. For only if I win this tournament will I truly be recognized as the PRIZE FIGHTER I am! I will walk into Oakland, California and I will walk out with an opportunity at the Top Prospect Tournament. Be careful to take the right path men, because you never know when you may make a WRONG TURN!

This has been a mitchell street blog.

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an unexpected meeting.

Atlanta looks beautiful on a summer morning. You need to get out early to avoid the heat and that’s exactly what I was going to do. I received a message from my father that stated he wanted to attend a local café for breakfast on Saturday Morning. Of course when it comes to family, I obliged and promised him that I would meet him. I had spoken to both my parents recently but have lost touch with my brother. As much as I wanted to bury the hatchet I simply could not look past the fact that he betrayed me in my last Japanese match. The question still burned deep inside me of why he would do such a thing. My own flesh and blood betraying his older brother and for what? I guess we would not know anytime soon as I was not going to be the one to reach out. Yet that was for another day as I was cruising through downtown Atlanta. I finally arrived at Joe’s Café and parked along the front. I slid on out of my vehicle and entered. At this point in my career even in my hometown I could walk down the Street and hardly be noticed. Mark my words that will change quickly.

I entered the café and sat down with no sign of my father. I waited patiently although my patience was beginning to run thin. I poked my head out of the booth and surveyed the area but still no sign. Was my own father standing me up? I doubted it very much as he was a good honest man. My wait was over as a man sat down on the opposite side of the table in my booth. However this man was not my father no…instead it as my younger brother Jordan. I was shocked to see him although he seemed less surprised to see me. I stood up and went to exit the booth as just the sight of Jordan made me sick to my stomach. He pushed me back down however and pleaded for a few minutes to explain. As much as I wanted to leave that café, that feeling deep down could only be cured by an explanation. If I were to look past this betrayal, I had to hear the exact reasoning from the horse’s mouth. For this reason and this reason alone I chose to stay.

.::Jordan Street::.
I know I’m probably the last person you wanted to see across the table but I need you to hear me out. I’m sorry I had to use dad as a way to get to you but I know you would not have come if you knew it was me.

.::Mitchell Street::.
I don’t want this…but I need an explanation. You have five minutes before I walk out for good.

Jordan acknowledges his older brother with a nod of his head. He takes a deep breathe before settling in and beginning to speak.

.::Jordan Street::.
You left for seven years. You left our mother, father and home. We all supported you and believe it or not we still do. When you decided wrestling was your passion no body stood in your way. I am your biggest fan when you’re out there. I truly believe that you can be the best the world has ever seen because you bleed wrestling. I believe you can take that next step and truly become THE guy.

Mitchell cuts his younger brother off and is now quite agitated.

.::Mitchell Street::.
I could have been THE guy! I was about to become TWS Champion and everything I had worked for over in Japan was about to become reality. You stopped that, you…….

Mitchell is now cut off by Jordan who looks agitated. Both brothers are struggling to see eye to eye at this moment in time.

.::Jordan Street::.
LET ME FINISH!

Everybody in the café turns around to the Street booth now as they too are interested in the conversation. Jordan pleads with the other customers that all is okay as they slowly turn back around.

.::Jordan Street::.
You would never have been THE guy if you had won that match. Yes I stopped you winning but it was for good reason. You may have become THE guy in the TWS if you had won their championship but you would never truly have been THE best. Their title was prestigious, it truly was. But if you were going to prove to the world you are the best in the game and you were going to prove everything I knew about you to be correct, you had to leave. If you won that match you would have stayed in Japan no matter what you think you would have done. You may not see it but what I did was the best thing for you even if I had to betray you in the biggest match of your life. For that I am sorry but for allowing you to fulfill your talent I will not apologize. You have gone from wrestling in mid-sized Japanese company to THE company. You are now in the big leagues Mitchell and you have the chance to make a statement.

Mitchell looks around the café for several moments whilst he soaks in everything his younger brother just told him. He looks back at Jordan before beginning to speak.

.::Mitchell Street::.
Thank you. Thank you for explaining what happened I really do appreciate it. As far as your help goes….I did not and I will not need it. I appreciate what you did for me but I did not ask for your assistance. I have always done things on my own and I always will. I am no follower and I am no leader, I am simply Mitchell Street. We will forever be brothers Jordan and I will honor that. However let me make one thing very, very clear. You will NEVER again get involved in my world….wrestling. If you ever step foot in that ring again, I cannot promise our family bond will be enough. You have a good day now….

Mitchell stands up and exits the booth as Jordan looks on with a guilty look on his face. The brothers had made peace to some degree however there was still hostility. Mitchell had still not taken lightly to the fact that Jordan was involved in his world. Would the brothers relationship return to that of past years? Only time would tell……..

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final thoughts.


Monday Night is the biggest match of my career to this point. Win and earn a shot to become THE top prospect in Extreme Answers Wrestling. Lose and it is back to the bottom of the food chain. I CANNOT AND WILL NOT return to the bottom of the ladder. 2015 is Mitchell Street’s time. 2015 is the time Mitchell Street fights for his prize. No more games, no more words. Brett Kennedy, James Seymour…there is too much riding on this match for anybody to get in my way. You will both go on to do great things I am sure of it. Yet those great things do not include walking out of Battleground this Monday Night with your arms held high. Everything I have worked for is coming to a head and I will earn my prize. Top Prospect…..it truly has a nice ring to it. This Monday Night the ascension of Mitchell Street begins. This Monday Night gentlemen, you both take a Wrong Turn!

The cameras show Eris LeCava, after a lengthy week vacation, sitting in a very busy café. She is wearing a tan jacket with washed out blue jeans and tan boots. She has a cup of black coffee sitting in front of her and she then takes a sip. She wrinkles her face as she gives out a big sigh. Eris looks around the café, filled with families enjoying their breakfast as a particular guest catches her eye. A lean woman, in her mid-20’s, wearing a striped turtle neck is seen reading a newspaper in a booth as she sits alone. She takes a huge bite out of her croissant as Eris suddenly sits in front of her.
 
Eris: Hi! Do you mind if I sit here? Oh, wait. I kind of already did that. Sorry, erm, do you still mind or do you want me to move?
 
The woman reaches for a paper napkin as she begins to nod. She politely smiles as she takes a huge sip from her orange juice.
 
Woman: Hi! Of course you can sit! My name is Jacklyn and you are?
 
Eris: I’m Eris! Nice to meet you, Jackie!
 
Jacklyn: Right . . . Um, so, is there anything I can help you with?
 
Eris: No. (She says while smiling.)
 
Jacklyn: Oh. . . do I seem familiar? Is that why you sat here?
 
Eris: No. (Still similing.)
 
Jacklyn: Oh . . . uh, well, it was, um real nice talking to you.
 
Jacklyn begins to hurriedly bunch up her belongings in her arms trying to get away. Eris quickly rises to her feet and stops Jacklyn.

Eris: No, please! You don’t have to go! I’m sorry if I’m being awkward. I’ve kind of been going through a lot lately. You just seemed like a nice girl that needed some company!! I hope I’m not being too much of a bother.
 
Jacklyn: Oh, I see. What’s on your mind?
 
Eris: Oh, nothing. Well – that’s a lie. I feel like everything is becoming to be extremely overwhelming. He almost busted my face with an announcer’s bell, can you believe that?
 
Jacklyn: He? What do you me--
 
Eris: I was really hoping Sami would put him in his place. But if I man like Samurai can’t hold him down, what are the chances that I can?
 
Jacklyn leans over the table and grips Eris’ hands. As Eris’ feels Jacklyns cold hands meet with hers, she is caught with surprise and looks at Jacklyn in the eyes.
 
Jacklyn: (Jacklyn begins to whisper as she frequently looks side to side, as if someone is watching her)  Listen, you don’t have to fight these battles. People are here to protect you! I know a guy who takes real good care of domestic abusers like him. His number is 589-122-87…are you writing this down?!
 
Eris: (Eris slips her hands away and puts them on her lap. She leans back and runs her hand through her hair.) I can’t run away from this anymore, Jackie. I need to finally face him one-on-one. He’s been begging me for weeks to get in the ring with him. He claims that I need to be put in my place, that I have no reason to speak out to him simply because I’m a woman.
 
Jacklyn slams her hands on the table causing a scene.
 
Jacklyn: ERIS, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS!!! YOUR SPOUSE DOESN’T HAVE TO BEAT YOU UP EVER CHANCE HE GETS!! HE’S A PIG! A SCUM! DISGUSTING, DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE LAWS PROTECTING YOU!
 
Eris’ jaw drops as she stands to her feet.
 
Eris: CHUCK SCENE IS NOT MY SPOUSE! THE ONLY WAY HE’D EVER GET A CHANCE TO ‘DATE’ ME IS IF HE GOES TO MY GRAVE, DIGS UP MY BODY AND TAKES ME OUT ON A STROLL! Laws?! What the FUCK are you talking about?!
 
Jacklyn: YOU AREN’T BEING ABUSED BY YOUR HUSBAND?
 
Eris: What?! No! I’m a wrestler! I wrestle in a promotion called Elite Answers Wrestling. WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO EVERYONE I MEET? DO YOU PEOPLE NOT HAVE TELEVISIONS!????
 
The entire café is filled with silence as Eris slowly sinks into her seat. Jacklyn calms down and also sits down.
 
Jacklyn: Who are you?
 
Eris: I’m Eris LeCava… I’m a wrestler! This man, no, I’m not going to even give him that title, this piece of animal feces has been dying to get in the ring with me ever since the day I walked in through the front doors for the first time. He has this obsession with me and he dreams of being able to have his hands all over me – that or seeing the insides of my head all spread out on the ring floor. On showdown, he had to go against another wrestler, Mexican Samurai, and if he successfully defeated Samurai then that automatically granted him a match with me. The match was going fine but for …some… reason it all went downhill. Then, the ignoramus of Zack Crash decided to declare him the winner even though the ref was out cold! And he still wonders why he doesn’t have anyone on his side? So many corrupt individuals in this company and they’re simply tarnishing EAW’s beloved name. Now, on Showdown I have to go against this menace to society. He is a perverted sheep-molesting proof that evolution can go in reverse. He thinks he can beat me simply because he has huge biceps, killer abs that could crush a can. But as we all know, you can’t only have the physical aspect down in order to succeed. You need to have the mental capacity to deal with everything that is thrown at your direction. Chuck seems that he can’t decide what to eat a restaurant without one of his fucking brain vessel bursting. He may be slightly bigger than me (I’ve tried downing more protein to beef up) but in a mental aspect I’m way ahead of him – and my best friend is a doll, for fucks sake!
 
Eris turns around and takes “HBG’s” head out of her pocket and whispers, “I didn’t mean to call you a doll, sorry!! I’ll make it up. If you want, later tonight I’ll dress up as Y2dickpact just to get your nasty fascinations out of the way!” Eris shoves HBG back in her pocket and faces Jacklyn.
 
Eris: And to top it off this week I’m ALSO facing Cailin Dillion. . .a couple weeks back Cailin and I were having a great feud. We were going at it back and forth and we even showed up some of the elitist in our brand. Last time we went against each other, it was just your old regular singles match. Now, this match is important. I’ve been in a winning streak as of late and I REFUSE to let my momentum be brought down. My dream of becoming the Empress of Elite is slowly becoming into a reality. The last time Cailin and I went against each other there wasn’t a definitive winner. This time I’ll make sure that’s not the case. I will do anything in my power to make sure that my hand is raised in victory after our match. Don’t get me wrong – I respect Cailin and I respect her work as a Vixen. However, that doesn’t mean that I won’t look down on her with a smug and cocky look on my face after our match as the ring announcer announces me as the winner. Cailin put up a tremendous fight the last time we squared off and I’m pretty sure she has an idea in mind as to how to handle me next time we go head to head, although, a lot can change in two weeks. These obstacles that I’ve had to face have slowly been changing me and molding me into not only a better wrestler, but overall into a better person. When I face both Cailin and Chuck, I’m going to show the world why I DESERVE to be the Empress of Elite. The other girls have to only worry who they’re going to talk trash to on social media. I, on the other hand, I have been harassed on a day to day basis but I’ve still won my matches. I’ve been humiliated by the likes of others yet I’ve still gone in the ring and shown my absolute best. I want this more than anything and I’ll fight tooth and nail to get what I want . . . This week will either be the greatest week of my life, or the worst.  But I have the power to make it the best . . . I WILL be the winner.
 
Jacklyn: Wow . . . sounds like you have a lot in your hands. But is Cailin the abuser, or what?
 

Eris stares at Jacklyn with a confused look as the camera fades to black. 

Luke is sitting backstage, just a day before his match on Battleground and he seems upset. Olga the bearded woman hands him a funnel cake she brought from the fair, but Luke knocks it out of her hand like any grown adult would do. 

Olga: “Why? Why would you do such a thing you puny little man?!”

Luke Braxton: “One I’m not in the mood to enjoy that delightful snack, two this isn't cheat on my diet day, and three I just groomed my mustache and I can't risk getting powder sugar in it. So let's just jump into this shall we? As you can see I have a camera man in front of me. Well actually the people who are watching this can't see him but…… look I am pissed!”

Luke stands up and gently kicks a chair over. 

Luke Braxton: “As you can see I’m livid! So f’n livid! Actually forget it. This isn't me. I'm not some lunatic who's out for blood. So let me take my seat and explain to you, the loyal EAW fans, about what's on my mind in a calm manner. The last time you saw me was what? Two weeks ago? If not longer? I don't know, I don't have the greatest memory in the world. But what I do remember is the last time you saw me step foot in an EAW ring was back on Battleground when I advanced to the next round in the Top Prospect Tournament. Yeah seems like ages ago doesn't it? I think dinosaurs were still roaming the earth and uh I don't know, I was trying to make a joke there but I couldn't think of anything. Look none of that is important. Believe it or not I'm trying to make a point here and here it is ladies and gents, my young EAW career has already had its fair share of ups and downs. I've won more than I've lost though. I have a pretty sick ratio, so eat your hearts out Call of Duty gamers. Just look at my most recent match. I didn't go through just one man to advance in the Top Prospect Tournament. Not even two! But three! Rhaegar, Max Metal, and Kevin Drake are their names. Tough opponents, sure. I'll give them that. I had my hands full. But once the bell rang I chomped down and as I did I didn't bite off more than I could chew. I was not overwhelmed. Instead I felt right at home, like I belonged and in the end the fat lady, aka Olga sung and I won!”

Olga: “Did I hear my name?”

Luke Braxton: “No you are just hearing things. You should probably trim your ear hair. So as I was trying to say, after my impressive victory I thought I did enough to earn myself a match on my home brand, Voltage, but once again I was left out in the cold, shivering my ass off while I watched my breath appear as smoke. Again I felt like my job was hanging in the balance. It always is. I haven't done enough to earn myself a multi-year contract. I'm basically getting paid per appearance and those appearances seem to be happening once every blue moon and I'll be the first one to tell you it's frustrating. It's impossible to gain momentum that way. I win a match and then I have to wait a few weeks to hear back from corporate, telling me I’m booked in a match finally. It's a cycle that never ends! If I had to make an analogy of some sort, I'd say I'm like a hamster. I keep running in that little metal wheel and as I run I feel like I'm going somewhere! I feel like I'm making real progress but little do I know I'm stationary. I'm just running in circles and it's an empty feeling. You feel like you're not a priority, like they are just waiting for me to raise and wave the white flag and say you win! I'll pack up and go back to the circus life! But they will soon find out that I'm not going anywhere, not until I carve my own path, my own legacy and march right down the road of relevancy and become something special. Maybe then the days of me being overlooked would be over! What a feeling that would be. But until that day becomes a reality, I must continue to fight like my life is on the line because in many ways it is. As I'm sure most of you know by now, tomorrow night I compete on Battleground. Tomorrow night I will deliver and I will earn myself another victory. Add a another dang feather to my cap! And as I do, I will set myself up for rejection one more time by praying I get on Voltage television the following week, but will never come to fruition. Why? Am I not pretty enough? I swear Voltage is like that superficial cheerleader from high school we all know. LOVE ME! NOTICE ME  DAMN IT! I have many talents. Like uh like for example I can juggle fire! I can walk across a tightrope! I can even wrestle a bear! Brown, black, grizzly, polar, teddy, you name it! Actually two of those are truths and one is a lie. You'll never guess which one it is! But I digress. I have to accept the fact that Battleground is my new destination to wreak havoc and I'm okay with it. It's where I got my first career win and it's also where I got my most recent one, so I say let the fun continue!

In about a day’s time,  I face a man that goes by the name of Chris Starr. This is your debut right? Well let me be the first one to welcome you to EAW! Welcome aboard! What? Were you expecting something more? Confetti? Balloons? A stripper popping out of a big cake? A damn parade? Well then, too bad. See I heard what you had to say. I listened to your words very carefully, just waiting for you to slip up and you did. Multiple times actually. First you claimed you're the best wrestler to ever lace up a pair of boots. So you're that guy. Please Chris I beg you, don't be that guy. Nobody likes that guy. It's annoying! So f’n annoying! Just about every elitist I've had the pleasure to face so far has echoed those words, “I'm the best.” Don't get me wrong I like confidence. Believe in yourself! But I also enjoy facts and stats. Yeah I'm a bit of a math nerd. Here's a fact for you Chris, you aren't the best. You're far from it. Who is? Well you were probably expecting me to say myself, but I'm not ignorant like some people. The correct answer is  the men with the three world titles around their waist and the woman with the Vixens title. They are at the top of the food chain! Just chillin’ at the top of the mountain with a snow leopard cub on their lap as they slowly pet it. At least that's what I would do. But Chris you forget all that, let my words fall on deaf ears, and you can continue to fill your head with lies! Dooooooo it! Just DOOOOO IT! Poison your pea-sized brain and let that thick skull of yours continue to harden before I shatter it this Monday, of course. I won't try and stop you. If you want to be made out as a liar, a man who can't even hang with poor little Luke Braxton on your first night, then more power to you.  Just don't cry after it happens. No excuses either. They get tiresome after awhile. You know I should probably be more careful when talking to a “God.” Right? That's what you see yourself as. A badass street-fight plus a wrestling ring equals a god according you. Might want to double check you work, but sure lets go with that. I'll give you a golden star for your effort. So you are a man who had to scratch and claw for everything in life. That's something I can respect. Fighting for your life is also neat. So damn neat. But tell me Chris, have you lost any battles? Probably not seeing as your nose isn't busted in yet, but there's plenty of time for that. You are used to being the top dog. A man that was probably feared. Look into my eyes? What do you see? Stop, don't think about that song. Seriously look into my eyes. Do you see fear? Now look at my body language? Do you sense fear? You don't. You see readiness. You see a man who is determined to shred you into a thousand pieces. Lastly you said nobody has a talent. Not even a sliver. Nobody? Nobody?! Well Chris you are right when you say there will be a lesson to be learned tomorrow night, but it's not the one you're thinking of. The lesson that will smack your right between your eyes is there is always an exception to the rule. Now to quote the very wise and influential Michael Scott, it's time to make the donuts.”

 

 


 

The Dank Files | Piff Fumador Video Diary – YouTube
 
The camera opens up on a smoky bedroom somewhere in Sacramento, California (“Hey Gringo, don’t you mean Tijuana?” – Piff). We hear the sounds Wiz Khalifa in the background of the dimly lit room. There’s a big Mexican flag on the wall next to a poster of Snoop Dogg, with a coffee table barely visible in the background that has a large bong sitting on it. We see Piff Fumador in front of all this, sitting at a desk looking into the webcam. He’s wearing his signature luchdore mask and a tie dye t-shirt while toking on a blunt, blowing the smoke into the camera.
 
Piff:  Hola esé, it’s Piff Fumador here on his Apple Mac, Jack. Also smoking some nice and sticky sour apple haze in an apple blunt wrap, how you do like them apples amigo? It’s a pretty nice strain, I’m pretty chilled listen to Wiz – only thing is it gives you some pretty grande dry mouth. I feel like that scene in the Jim Carrey movie where he gets the cotton mouth? Anyone know what I’m talking about?.. Anyway that’s always solved by some bien Mountain Dew, or should I say Mountain Dank (laughs).
 
He takes another toke and blows the smoke directly into the camera, making the video picture foggy momentarily.
 
Piff: I’m here with my new series on YouTube, I think it’s probably the best way for all my fans to hear updates on my matches in EAW… All 55 subscribers.. But you guys can hear about my life, recommendations of buds and music and lucha libre. See, I am here in my Tijuana fun pad before Voltage tomorrow night where I face some gringo called Masohiro. He’s telling me that the way I live my life smoking god’s dank trees is purely for escape, making my body useless with my soul trapped inside – Who is this loco homie? Did he not see me last week throw 5 over hombres over the top rope? The THC powered all that, it’s not escape esé – It’s a way of life. It helps me focus, puts my mind in the right place. If I wanna chill, it helps me chill. If I wanna eat… Yeah it definitely helps me eat (laughs). And if I gotta fight, it makes me fight with more velocity and intensity that you could ever dream of.
 
Fumador points a remote control to somewhere out of frame on the video, the music changes to Cypress Hill’s ‘Black Sunday’ album.
 
Piff: You see, Masohiro, I’m a laid back hombre. If you wanna hang out and watch South Park that’s all good with me amigo. But once I get in the ring, I let my lucha libre do all my talking – and at Voltage tomorrow night you’re gonna feel the force of my 420 Splash. You say through pain we can find out who we really are, and you’ll find out when you’re on the other end of a DDTHC. Even worse than that, you’re telling me you can get me off the weed to be more like you. I’m sorry holmes but I don’t wanna be some Japanese sex puta getting pulled about by a chain around my neck by some chica. The only chica in my life is the good old Mary-Jane.. Unless any of the EAW Vixens wanna join me for a Netflix and chill…
 
He winks at the camera and takes a swig of his Mountain Dew while putting out the blunt.
 
Piff: Enough about that asshole, you wouldn’t believe what would happened to me after last week’s Voltage. I went for a post-match joint after the battle royal, and couldn’t get back in the arena; worse than that, the security guard didn’t know who I was! I’m Piff Fumador, EAW’s finest strain, the best luchador Voltage has ever seen, king of the pre-show. And then one thing lead to another, I may have had to run away from the security guard when he found my stash I had on me. It was a clusterfucko holmes, and I need your help. Please comment down below on ways I can get a license or something to smoke all the bud I want without having to deal with gringos, you gotta help Fumador – He needs the THC to be the supremo luchador you fans wanna see flying off the top rope every week! But I’m gonna go lift some weights and get a burrito for now, please help with any suggestions. I’ll see you guys in my next video after Voltage tomorrow, take it easy Amigos – And I assure you Masohiro, come tomorrow night… I’m gonna BLAZE… YOU…. UP!
 

The video ends.

Empress of Elite Round 2 and 3 Promo#1

Cailin Dillon didn’t believe me, and she got destroyed
It was just pure domination, she is lucky to still be employed
Now on to the next round in the Empress of Elite
I now face Raven Lee, who should be rubbing my feet
Raven Lee is no match to the Mistress of Death, God’s Gift
Every time I knock Raven Lee on her ass, she causes a continental drift
Cameron Ella Ava is actually someone I respect
However wrestling with me, there will be some side effects
I don’t care if you are a EAW Hall of Famer
When you step in the ring with me, Beware of Danger

Poem by Madison Kaline 2015

I tried to tell Cailin Dillon that she just doesn’t match up in the ring with me, she refused to listen, and she kept running her mouth all week about how she was going to shut me up. She was telling me all week that after her match with me, she would become a household name. (Maddie laughs). The only people in the house who know your name are teenage boys when they are in their rooms….alone. And to be quite honest with you that isn’t saying much. Regardless, I made a fool out of Cailin Dillon, and I am off and running in this Empress of Elite tournament. Now on to round 2, I get to face Raven Lee! Raven is another big talker, kind of like my last opponent Cailin Dillon; all I have to say to Raven is watch my match with Cailin, think before you speak. Don’t make me have a reason to annihilate you.

One match I am looking forward to is round 3 of the tournament, where I will face EAW Hall of Famer Cameron Ella Ava! This will be the first time ever that Cameron and I with lock up one on one! Don’t be mistaken Cameron I do respect you, and I do respect what you have done in your career. However just because I respect you, doesn’t mean I won’t trash you like I do to everyone else, you see Cameron I don’t care how many men you have wrestled with, I don’t care how many men you have blown, I don’t care how many title reigns you have, I know deep down in my heart, that I can beat you. I know deep down in my heart that I am better than you, you may have paved the way for the likes of me but I am here to knock off legends like yourself. Maybe if this was 2011 you might have a chance at me, but this is 2015 and I am the class of the Vixens Division. You had it easy you had what 5 Vixens at the most to compete with back in your day? I have at least 15 other vixens to compete with here, and I am still the best of the class.

I truly am in a league of my own when it comes to the Vixens Division, there is me at the top, and then there is everyone else at the bottom, trying to hang with me.  Poor Raven Lee, a rookie just trying to make it here will never get to experience being the best. But then again most people don’t, I am a once in a life time talent, hell even Grandma Ella Ava knows, I bet she can see it that I am without a doubt the next hall of fame Vixen. Conceited right? Nope it’s not being conceited when you can back it up in the ring, and I do that each and every night I am wrestling.  

So bring it on Raven Lee (Maddie laughs). Let’s be real here, Raven, I’m going to be flat out honest with you, just like my match with Cailin Dillon, I find this to be a waste of time, you are nowhere near my level, I am light years ahead of you. Just please clean your boots when you step in my ring, I don’t want you getting it all dirty, thanks! And to Cameron Ella Ava, I suggest you don’t take me too lightly, I know you are used to wrestling with men so you probably feel  I am nothing compared to them, but just keep in mind I will end you. (Maddie laughs). On the road to becoming Empress of Elite, nothing will stand in my way, not meaningless match with Raven Lee, not the so called Vixens Champion Tarah Nova, and not hall of famers, nothing! At the end of the day, the ring announcer will be holding my arm up high in the air, and saying THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH AND THE FIRST EVER EMPRESS OF ELITE WINNER! MADDIE! Ahh it’s going to be great.
 
I am Empress of Elite.

V0LTAGE PR0M0 #1
 
Dr. Erik Vance:  As a psychiatrist, I often tell my patients not to fear failure when they attempt to seek treatment for whatever illness or issue they are trying to overcome.  Not only will you be unable to succeed if you fear the possibility of failure, but it is also often in times failure that we discover new truths and ultimately achieve more for ourselves.  And while Mr. Brody may have been on the end of a losing streak recently, through our therapy sessions and discussions on the subject, I believe that together we have come to a new breakthrough in his treatment that may do him more good than any winning streak ever could.  In fact, I would go so far as to say that this streak of his could be the best thing to ever happen to him.  Of course the rest of EAW won’t understand, and especially Mr. Dubian won’t understand, and to be honest I don’t expect anyone to.  After all, the rest of you are too stupid and ignorant to focus on anything other than the easy simplicity of a win/lose record.  But I see the true strength one can gain from defeat, and Mr. Brody sees that now too, so any insults you throw at him Mr. Dubian about his, “having no ego” as you put it, don’t hold sway anymore.  If anything, they add fuel to his newly kindled fire!  You see there is a certain kind of freedom in where Mr. Brody is now.  First of all, you and the rest of EAW think so little of him now, it’s almost like a new beginning for Mr. Brody.  Imagine the looks on everyone’s faces when he manages to defeat the current Answers World Champion, the man who just pontificated about wanting “worthy challengers.”  Imagine the shock and awe that moment will hold for EAW’s history!  You opined that Mr. Brody was now like a rookie going into his debut match, and you couldn’t be more right!  This recent string of events has once again reminded him of that youthful excitement a rookie feels before their first match.  How shocked are we when we see that rookie take down the World Champ in their first match?  How much does that rookie’s stock rise from that one moment?  Because in the end, that’s all it takes to redeem a man’s failure…just one moment!  One win, and all this doubt, all this talk goes away forever and Brody is back where he belongs!  And who better to wipe away the past than with the blood of the World Champion, the man who until recently was just like Brody.  A man who was just a joke to the rest of us, who everybody doubted would ever get that proverbial monkey off his back.  You of all people should understand the fact that you can lose countless times, but it only takes winning once to become a champion!  But more than any of that…it’s made all of you underestimate him!  And trust me, if there is one thing you don’t want to do, it’s underestimate a crazy person!  You’ve all become like the lion tamer who feels that the lion is no longer dangerous.  But then the moment when that lion finally takes that unexpected bite is when the fear grows most powerfully!  It’s like the old proverb “pride goes before a fall.”  And after that fall, only fear is left!  You’ve given that back to Brody!  Beforehand everyone already feared Brody, but now he gets to see that fear grow again.  He gets to watch as it suddenly dawns in your eyes just how bad of a mistake you made by getting into the ring with him!  Now of course I’m certain the rest of EAW is probably laughing right now, especially you Mr. Dubian.  I doubt you’ll take any of my words seriously.  But here’s another little nugget of information I’d like you to digest.  I’m certain you’ve heard the old cliché of how dangerous a cornered animal is right?  Use that minuscule brain of yours to think of how dangerous a crazy person with nothing to lose and everything to gain is for a moment!  Do you have that picture in your head?  Good…now throw it out because you’re not even close to the reality of it!  Or maybe you are, and perhaps that’s the REAL reason you advise against Mr. Brody showing up.  Perhaps you’re hoping for an easy victory?  Some champion you are!  Well let me assure you Mr. Brody will show up, and you’ll see what a cornered monster can do.  A man who has lost his pride, who has lost the belief of others, that kind of man is the most dangerous because they are truly free of any constraints and will do anything and everything to win it back!  And Brody will do anything that pops into his head, because why should he care what any of you think anymore?  You’ve given him the permission he needs to commit acts so heinous they even scare himself.  He held back before out of some deep desire for acceptance by the rest of you.  Now that he knows he’ll never get it, his chains are finally broken!  You, on the other hand, still have your own chains that’ll slow you down come Voltage.  I advise you to take this more seriously because you’re truly in a dangerous situation.  Your laughing while standing on the edge of a cliff, and while very brave and daring, it’s equally stupid and idiotic!  You’re bound by the conduct expected of a champion and the win/lose record of one as well.  You said so yourself that you want your reign to be remembered, so clearly you understand at least this much.  Yet you underestimate Brody, apparently not comprehending the difference between you.  If Brody loses, well people expect that now of him.  But if YOU lose…well I hate to see what your legacy will look like then!  You and the rest of EAW have put down Mr. Brody so much, I wonder how disgraceful it would be for you, the Answers World Champion, to lose to the man on a losing streak.  How much would your stock plummet?  Would you even have any?  Do you see what I’m getting at here?  So continue laughing and doubting, for those are common symptoms of the denial in the face of tragedy!  It’ll make Brody’s victory that much sweeter!  And Mr. Brody will win!  He may not score the pinfall or submission, but he’ll win in a much more important way, because there are some things more important than wins or loses.  This week, Mr. Brody will win back his reputation as a monster, and you’ll die trying!  And no you didn’t hear that wrong.  Brody will win, and you’ll die trying!  That legacy you desire so greatly will turn out to be no more than a nightmare you invited into your own head!
 

Mr. Brody is going to bring you back down to Earth.  And the funny thing about standing yourself on a pedestal, it makes the eventual impact of the fall that much harder!       

OOC: Sorry about such a late promo, a very busy and dramatic week this past one was…

 

 

 

 




 







 







 







 







 







 







 




 




 

 




 




 







 

You know something, Crash, for a little while we almost made a bit of a connect. 

I'm trying to make my way up in the world and you have already conquered the world. You're the Chairman. You call the shot in EAW. You had the whole world on your fingertips and to tell you the truth you were the most unstoppable force in the world. What I'm trying to figure out though are three things that are just eating at me right now. Three things that just make me wonder if you are right in your damn mind these days. 

First thing: Did EAW really have a fair fight to determine what brand was going to die at Pain for Pride? It doesn't look like it to me. See, you have a habit of making people do your dirty work. You had Hades and Quality Control do your bidding and eliminate Dynasty from the face of EAW history, forcing the beginning, the genesis of Dynasty Puroresu. I don't know why you did it. Is it because you dislike the color read, felt like getting one over on the board, someone on Dynasty's roster pissed you off before the match. You did all of this crap and then you act as if we had a fair chance of keeping Dynasty going. I think you determined the outcome of that fight long after you made it. Yes. I'm calling you a damn con artist. Yes, I believe you were dishonest with us all along. 

Second Thing: You're calling me a coward or something? Look, I know you're beat up. I know Quality Control kicked your ass. The thing is though, I'm used to having to deal with such circumstances. In fact, as I'm speaking to you now, I'm preparing to face Jacob Senn right here this very evening. Don't you think that the odds will be a little more fair now that I'm coming to pick a fight after already having fought someone the caliber of Senn just the night before? I surely won't be 100 percent unless the stars align and I promptly knock the so-called conqueror out. You won't have Quality Control to hover over me and watch me as we fight; I'm not bringing any backup. As I said, I came to pick a fight.

Third Thing: You want to insult me personally? I have considered your offers and even though I was against signing with EAW, I was more than willing to just keep this as professional and as impersonal as possible. I'm coming to Showdown to pick a fight because I'm a fighter. That's what I do. I know a lot of the people that I mentioned weren't all-time greats as you, the ALmighty Zack Crash, would have us believe, but those are men that I have toiled against for years on end without giving the proper recognition to me. I have battled nonstop to keep my spot in this company, even through all the myriad of injures that have come my way. I restored the honor of the Interwire Championship, Elevated the level of the Tag Team Championships, retired people, humiliated veteran and young boy alike. Why, since Pain for Pride I have mowed down what little competition Dynasty had to offer me.

All I've ever wanted is a chance at the World Heavyweight Championship. That is not YOUR property, but the property of one Brian Daniels. You don't own it. You are not holding it. You just have the right to decide who fights for it. Tomorrow evening, I'm going to give you a very unpleasant reminder why I am the true number one contender and should have been offered that title match and contract a long time before you decided to force Daniels into putting his career on the line. 

You have done everything to make this personal. You act like you're a Jedi on another level, as if I'm some sort of novice, as if I'm some Young Boy fresh off the boat like Matsuda, Franchise Demon or some of these other young kids who think they know what the fuck wrestling is about.

I AM THE MOST COMPLETE WRESTLER IN THE WORLD, ZACK TRASH.


YOU ARE GOING TO FIND OUT EXACTLY WHY......


CARLOS ROSSO IS ICHIBAN.


AND ZACK CRASH....IS NIIIIIIIIIIIIIBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

Do I look like I am joking here?...

Because you people sure as hell are taking all of this lightly, and seeing this all as some big joke. TJ, dear child please tell me why you so think that because you win one match, it was a hell of a match, but you won a single match here against me and YOU think that you have my number, you think you have my entire game plan scouted, THAT YOU CAN NEVER LOSE TO ME AFTER A SINGLE PINFALL! YOU HAVE NOTHING IN YOUR ARSENAL THAT COULD KEEP ME DOWN, WHICH IS WHY MY OWN PILEDRIVER...TWICE EVEN...IS WHAT YOU HAD TO DO TO KEEP ME DOWN FOR THREE TIBERIUS! You couldn't do it without taking a page of Kevin Devastations playbook. You live by the sword, you die by that same sword. And so it seems the only thing that could have beaten Kevin Devastation was indeed something made famous by that very same man. That is what it will take again TJ, and this time I will not ever allow that to happen, because I do believe in the olden sayings, like "fool me once shame on you...piledrive me again and that is just the bad joke on my part.". And this time it is you...it is Hexagun that will have the egg on their faces at the end of the night, because oh glory be to Impact for what he has done, because he can do NOOOO WRONG! BUT WHEN HE LOOKED ME IN THE EYE AND SAID WHAT HE SAID WHEN I RETURNED, OH DID HE EVER DRIVE HOME THE POINT THAT OLE KD WAS NOT WELCOME BACK...AND OH BE TO THE GLORY OF Y2IMPACT ON THAT POINT. I DON'T WANNA BE WELCOME BY THE DIRTY AFRO AND THE EVEN BIGGER EGOTIST THAN I EVER WAS! I don't even think I wanna even be welcome home by any of the boys in the back, or the crowds outside of North Carolina, or the refs, or Hey Yo Chico, Flashback, George the hotdog man...OR ANYBODY ELSE FOR THAT MATTER YOU LITTLE PUKE AHAHAHAHA! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO you got my blood pumping TJ, you got every bit of fiber in my being ready for action on Showdown...................MEEEEE? Brain Damage? AHAHAHAHAHA COME ON KID YOU KNOW I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A LITTLE SICK IN THE HEAD! From shooting fireballs in the faces of my opponents, to pushing my own partner down a flight of stairs strapped into a wheel chair, to damn near cremating Cyclone alive. YOU DON'T THINK I WOULDN'T BE A LITTLE OFF IN THE TOP FLOOR OF THIS OLD BODY? HA! NOW THATS THE PUNCHLINE TJ! Now that is the way to think, thats the way to truly be in this business isn't it TJ, take credit for whats been done a long time ago and say it was your handy work. MAN I love it! I love it when you people try and cut me down, cut EAW down, cut down the Elite that EAW has become under the ruling of Zack Crash. Whos next TJ? What authority figure is keeping you down next my brother? Fight the man, right? IS THAT WHY YOU HAVE THE SAME BARBER AL SHARPTON AND DON KING HAS? IS THAT WHY IMPACT HAS THE SAME TAILOR AS HEART BREAK GAL? WHO MAKES THE UNISEX TIGHTS THEY WEAR SO THEY CAN EXCHANGE CLOTHES?

OH AND IMPACT YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO THOSE ARE WOMANS PANTS!

And lets talk about something you say Impact..."Live With It". Oh I have had to live with everything I have done in this ring, and everything out of it. I live with knowing while you were on top of your game, while Y2Impact was working on more world championship reigns than any other man in this company, I was down in the trenches fighting my own personal wars that I brought on to myself, to fight a fight that not need be fought. AND I FAILED BECAUSE I WENT LOOKING FOR THE UNWINNABLE CONFLICT, NOT GETTING BETTER, BUT STAYING THE SAME MAN...THE SAME MONSTER...THE SAME FOOL WHO BELIEVED HE WAS GOD. But allow me to make something very clear to you Impact, something that you have to take heed to this time, and maybe only this time. I am back, I am not here to fall with egg on my face, I am not here to get swallowed up by quicksand. I am here to walk through the valley, where there is a shadow of a man I once was, AND AS I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEVASTATION...I SHALL FEAR NO FAILURE! Because I am not the man I was then, I never will be that man again, and even now as you know what I am, you looked into my eyes Impact when we were in Charlotte, you saw what I have left in my tank. You saw that the soul in those eyes was not the same one you have seen with my "failures" in the past. You may be the greatest champion EAW has ever had in some form or fashion, but you have to understand that I am the most defiant man to ever step inside that squared circle. I JUST WON'T DIE IMPACT, I JUST REFUSE TO STAY DOWN NO MATTER WHAT HAS HAPPENED ON A PROFESSIONAL OR PERSONAL LEVEL! I have taken every kind of abuse, mental, physical, spiritual. And when you look at me this weekend on Showdown, I want you to look deep into my eyes and see that I am not a ego, I am not a God, I am not a monster...I AM A MAN WHO DARES TO POKE THE BEAR, I AM A MAN WHO DARES TO STEP INTO THE FACE OF A MAN "IN A LEAGUE OF HIS OWN" AND I DARE TO SLAP THAT MAN IN THE FACE AND AM READY TO TAKE ON HIS BEST BLOWS! EVERYMAN IS GREAT IN THEIR OWN WAY, AND MAYBE IN THE PAST IF WE HAD A REASON TO GO TO WAR YOU AND I WOULD HAVE BEEN A VERY BIG MIS-MATCH, AND YOU WOULD HAVE EASILY TAKEN ME DOWN! BUT NOW YOU SEE A FIRE, AND A FIRE IN MY EYES THAT WILL BURN THE WHOLE DAMN BUILDING DOWN IF IT ESCAPED, THAT'S HOW BIG THIS INFERNO HAS GOTTEN IMPACT. THAT'S HOW MUCH MORE I WANT THIS THAN YOU OR ANYBODY IN HEXAGUN OR MY OWN TEAM! I'M NOT JUST FACING YOU, NOT JUST HEXAGUN, BUT I FACE EVERYBODY WHO LOOKS AT ME AND SCOFFS AT THE MERE FACT THAT KEVIN DEVASTATION IS STANDING IN A EAW RING AGAIN.

"HE CAN'T GO ANYMORE."

"HE SHOULD HAVE JUST STAYED HOME."

"HE IS GONNA EMBARRASS HIMSELF AGAIN."

WELL LEMME TELL YA SOMETHING, LET ME MAKE IT VERY DAMN CLEAR WHAT YOU WILL SEE THIS WEEK. YOU WILL SEE A MAN WHO IS NOT FINISHED, WHO IS NOT GONNA EMBARRASS HIMSELF, BUT YOU WILL SEE A MAN WHO HAS CRAWLED FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE MOUNTAIN AND IS NOW KNOCKING ON THE DOOR OF THE UPPER ECHELON, AND WHEN YOU ANSWER IMPACT I AM GONNA PUNCH YOU RIGHT IN THE MOUTH AND TAKE MY PLACE THERE WITH YOU, TO SHOW YOU EXACTLY WHO THE HELL I AM, WHO I REALLY AM, WHO WAS BURIED DEEP BENEATH A USELESS EGO AND A BUNCH OF PARLOR TRICKS. YOU WANT WAR, YOU WANT UPSET THE ESTABLISHED ORDER, AND YOU WANNA SEND ME BACK TO THE DIRT WHICH YOU THINK I BELONG. WELL ALL I CAN SAY IS COME ON DOWN IMPACT, BECAUSE YOU HAVE WON THE ASS KICKING THAT I BELIEVE I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO GIVE YOU FOR BEING THE POMPOUS WINDBAG YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN.

"Live With It"...."Live With It"..."Live With It"...LIVE WITH THIS IMPACT! LIVE WITH THE FACT THAT SATURDAY, I AM NOT BUFFING LIKE THE WENCH SAYS, LIVE WITH THE FACT YOU DID NOT PLAN ON ME BEING A THREAT LIKE YOU WILL SEE I AM, AND LIVE WITH THE FACT THAT ON SHOWDOWN, ITS NOT TIME FOR KEVIN DEVASTATION TO BE SENT PACKING BACK TO THE SCRAPHEAP...BUT INSTEAD IT ACTUALLY IS TIME FOR ONE THING AND ONE THING ONLY...

It’s an odd feeling when your expectations are met with a reality so underwhelming that you question if some force out there beyond the comprehension of man is playing games with you for some twisted amusement in telling you that in this world there are no true challenges. I’m all for a good laugh, but this is far too tragic for even dark comedy and gallows humour. I am the debonair thief, the master pick pocket and raider extraordinaire, the slickest member of the entire J-Dynasty, and I was assigned to Hexa-gun after staking out the forces of EAW from Dynasty Wrestling to provide my services in the venture against Zack Crash. In this time I have geared up and trained for everything, to pick locks, to walk without making a sound, to put down guard dogs and to snatch everything I can get my hands on so that I could be prepared for the operation of obtaining the keys of the kingdom that is Zack Crash’s twisted EAW. Yet as I approach EAW I see the most disgusting of sights, the door is unlocked, it is wide open enough that I can see on the inside to witness the sentries sleep and instead of dogs there are only rats feasting upon rotten fruit of a decayed land where greatness and pride are nothing but a distant memory. Some may say, I am young man degrading my superior elders, but there is nothing to degrade when there is no dignity.

No dignity is what allows a man like Kevin Devastation to break his vow to retire from EAW after I defeated him just so he could pretend to have reclaimed a level of respect in EAW he’s never had to begin with. He claims his ego is over with, yet what kind narcissism does it take for a man to see a war being waged where EAW and everything we believe hangs in the balance, and thinks to himself over EVERYTHING else “I can’t believe they tried to ruin MY homecoming”.

No dignity is what allows Hades to find it odd that there are only four members of Hexa-gun despite our name, yet would rather foam at the mouth about it instead of simply checking Showdown and Midsummer Massacre videos to enlighten himself. Hades would prefer to take the chance of looking like a fool than doing the smallest amount of research on a topic he himself found questionable.

No dignity is what allows Rhaegar to be so nonsensical. And I don’t mean simply that his ramblings can at times become downright incoherent, such as they do. See he claims true wrestling is wrestling naked in the mud, a revolting idea to me but to each his own, and claims he goes all the way without care for adversity to prove he is a wrestler. If he was going to go all the way as he claims, he’d try wrestling in EAW naked and muddy, he would fight Crash just like Hexa-gun does due to Crash not providing proper wrestling and he would never tag team if tag teams were not allowed in Greece. Yet instead, he wrestles with clothes on, teams with someone who he isn’t happy about using the name of one of his gods in Hades and would be fine wrestling us three on one if his partners left him just because Crash put him in a match against us, even though he dislikes Crash. Why wouldn’t he reject Crash? Is it because Crash would cause him adversity? Does the wrath of the chairman concern Rhaergar? I thought adversity did not make him budge.

The worst of them all to me has to be Hades. Maybe it’s because I was green, maybe it was because I was naïve, but when I was starting out people spoke in utter hush tones showcasing how they revered even saying his name. “Hades is a destroyer”, “Hades is becoming a cornerstone of EAW” and bla bla bla. And I believed them. Even Jaywalker once told me Hades was one of his hungrier and most relentless pursuers during his yearlong streak and time as world champion.  If Hades ever was those things, than clearly Hades is the greatest example of there being no strength in victory, success has made Hades’ once lean mean stature one that is now fat and cushy! Hades no longer takes the time to check out the happenings of EAW that directly pertains to him, and I say it’s a damn shame that success has made him this way to the point he is completely oblivious to those who wage war against him and our caught on camera, all six of us, attacking the man he is meant to be one of top generals of. I imagine it probably effects the rest of his game. Instead of running that last mile or doing that extra dumbbell curl Hades most likely says, ”meh, I’ve already been a world champion, I can take it easy.” Instead of digging down deep in each and every single match, Hades probably thinks to himself that it isn’t worth it because he’s always already been to the top of EAW. Our co-leader Y2Impact has obtained more world championships than Hades and the rest of his team can dream of having combined, yet he hasn’t gotten as complacent as Hades has. Well Hades will be taught a tough lesson come Showdown for the errors he commits.

Now I know some might say I was cracking jokes about them being the spook spook squad last time so there is no reason for my surprise, but that was different, I thought they were outdated for their old ghoul personas that people stopped caring about once the internet brought out enough information so that voodoo and such became a joke,  I didn’t think they were stupid and lazy. I thought that when I piledrivered KD into the mat so hard he shrunk that he was otherwise fine, I didn’t realize it gave KD brain damage.

Speaking of which, Hades says he hates the stories of Davids vs Goliaths in EAW like that of Kevin Devastation and I so he won’t let it happen again, but I don’t see it that way, I’ve never looked at myself as a David, I see it as ingenuity overcoming raw force.  Ingenuity is why among all beasts humans are able to take down rhinos, elephants and forces twice as powerful as ourselves, we make traps, we think up plans and we make tools. Tools like guns. This is why Hexa-gun will no doubt triumph over such beings who lack the tools and thought to counter us.

Look at these three, none of them are thinking about true cooperation and making themselves a well-oiled team, like lesser beasts they wish to brute force their way to success over us, but we of Hexa-gun are cooperating and we’re the type of people that internet junkies post on Facebook with a caption under our picture saying “squad goals” because they desire to have their friendships to be filled with people as fresh and united as Hexa-gun. Kevin Devastation seems to be under the impression that I’d break Hexa-gun formation just to wrestle him as if this is between he and I, but I’ve already settled my business with KD when I retired him, now it is time to do what’s right for my fellas and the co-leader who I’m sure is counting on the three of us to wipe the floor with our opposition. Understand that Kevin, you cannot bait me with simple tactics. We are planning to take turns unloading bullets in each and every single one of your craniums as WE dictate how. Man, it’ll be headshot city, and all you have as a team is to be hopeful when you go down T Jones doesn’t T Bag you.

[The Mercenary Lair - Somewhere in Seattle. Heart Break Gal and Y2Impact are seen in the living room, sitting on a black leather couch with a glass coffee table in front of them while the Hexa-gun flag is right behind them. This is where they usually record their log. Y2Impact sets up the camera for their newest video, as HBG is seen on the background talking on the phone]

HBG (on the phone): Indeed, we certainly made an impression dessing up as Quality Control... That was inspired by a cheerleader movie I once watched, it might surprise you. It was a nice touch nonetheless.

[The Heart Break Gal, the co-leader of Hexa-gun, and one half of The Mercenaries, wore her red ribbon-adorned blouse and a beige capri pants. And to flaunt, she decided to place the Tag Team Championship belt on her left shoulder, she listens to the other end of the conversation]

HBG (on the phone): We'll take care of it. We're about to make our statement now anyway, thanks for letting us know. In return, I could set you up on a date with Eris LeCava. Don't know much about her except the fact that she adores me and that she has wild dreams about me. Who can blame her, I'm fucking gorgeous! She might be okay if I asked, though I'm not sure how she's feeling about elitists after that dispute with Chuck... huh?... You'll think about it?... Alright then! See you and the others at Showdown.

[HBG hangs up the phone]

Y2Impact: Was that Tiberius Jones?

HBG: Yep...

Y2Impact: I see everything is progressing nicely. This is what we worked for.

[Y2Impact, the co-leader of Hexa-gun, and one half of The Mercenaries, had on a black shirt and camo pants. He, too, had his Tag Team Championship belt on his right shoulder. As the log opened, the two proudly introduced themselves as the Mercenaries, leaders of a mutiny upon annihilating EAW's chairman back at Midsummer Massacre]

Y2Impact: When I make my arrival and return, no matter how I reach my destination, I end up changing the fabric of EAW, shaking it to its core, and altering the very complexion of the company as we know it. I have clout and leadership skills that neither wrestlers nor managerial or executive figures can stake claim to. I didn't like my options with the current crop who behave submissively and readily bow down to their corporate masters without giving the alternatives a second thought, so I broadened my horizons and it assisted me immeasurably in creating an unstoppable force with immovable objects. I took a gander at the talent crop that lurked outside EAW's domain and it exceeded my wildest expectations. I couldn't possibly pass up on the opportunity to recruit a hungry pack of wolves and feed them the savory meat of Elite Answers Wrestling. I share many easily distinguishable contrasting traits with the men I've selected to be my comrades, but everything required a process, and it was our sameness and like-minded ideals that drove me to scout the talent pool so thoroughly that I ended up finding several outside-the-box thinkers whose mindsets and ambitions mirrored those of my own. Then there's Tiberius Jones, a kindred spirit who rose to stardom on his own mirrors and never needed a helping hand to get there. Aside from the Heart Break Gal and I, he represents the only previously active wrestler from this circle of the industry that I selected. He's already shown his mettle and valor on numerous occasions - and to some extent, so have Drake Jaeger and The Burned Man - but not yet in the official capacity my ally and crewmate Tiberius Jones has. He's refined and a polished warrior who knows the ropes and understand business, he isn't a dim-witted meathead I have to take under my wing and impart knowledge to because he's wise beyond his years and that's precisely why I chose him. I wouldn't align myself with a group of people whose hands needed to be held; there are no kid gloves or restrictive shackles necessary here, and Hexa-gun already proved that thousandfold when we effortlessly pulled off the greatest caper in recent history by forcing Zack Crash to approach his endeavors at our convenience, taking advantage of his power-hungry proclivities, and capping it all off by beating him at his own game in the midst of our formation signifying the most thunderous and memorable debut of any team, faction, or organization in the history of this company. None of us are aspiring to become the latest "big thing," the fresh flavor-of-the-month newcomer, or feel like it's necessary to attempt to become great; rather, we're already self-assured of our own greatness and certain none of us will experience any difficulty broadcasting our brand of excellence on EAW's airwaves and showcasing this first-hand against men considered to be formidable by accepted EAW standards, but not by Hexa-gun's standards. We operate under our own set of established rules, under our own authority, and any opposing force that dares to defy it is more than welcomed to step up to the plate and try. Personally, I would advise caution, because Hexa-gun doesn't just beat their enemies and send them back to the proverbial scrapheap from whence they came; we utterly destroy them until nothing but a rotting corpse of decaying flesh is left.

That's something the returning Kevin Devastation would know about, isn't it? I already illuminated what occurs when I return and now you'll all bear witness to what the opposite of a successful comeback looks like - in other words, the greater portion of Kevin Devastation's miserable and hapless career. He's always believed fervently in his goals and approached them accordingly, and I'll grant him that it's a respectable quality in and of itself, but his approach and method of handling his business has never been conducive to triumph. It has always spelled destruction, it has always foreshadowed doom and disaster, and for better or worse, those are the terms that largely define Kevin Devastation's career. Whether he was a narcissist with delusions of grandeur whose opinion didn't correlate with his actual talent level, or an undead who ascended from his tomb only to fall short and become a runner-up to the same man that was once in his "Black Hand" unit where he repeatedly emphasized that he was above him and was simply acting in mentor-protege, Cyclone -- he always ended up coming up short in the end, and that grated on his nerves and cut him inside so deeply that his soul unquestionably still bears the scar. The student surpassed the master, and Kevin Devastation's week-long reign as EAW Champion back in 2010 be damned, he's never again reached the same level of hype and praise he'd drawn back then and so he resorts to baseless ad hominen insults alleging that I was a "CM Banks asskisser" and corroborating my legendary success with his inaccurate, bitter assertions. I don't know how many times I've heard rumors about Kevin Devastation never coming back to EAW -- the frequency makes it easy enough to understand my forgetfulness -- but he's never been allowed to forget his mistakes and pave the way for a brighter future because he consistently manages to remind himself of them through his inability to defeat his opposition inside that squared circle. When you're gone for a certain period of time and that itch starts creeping back up on you like it has Kevin, one day you're channel-surfing, an EAW program is on and you start fooling yourself into believing you're better than the company's current World Champions and it wouldn't require a painstakingly devoted workload or rehab regimen to get there. Let me provide you with a representation of this man's thought-process that encapsulates Mr. Devastation's highly exhaustive deliberation perfectly...

[Y2Impact begins speaking in a comedic tone of voice]

"Well, it may be true that I broke my back and that I've fallen down ladders and suffered temporary paralysis as a result, it may be true that I never reached my potential and I failed when I had the world on my shoulders and I have far less right now... And I probably shouldn't return, it might be ill-advised to leave the wife and kids at home while I journey on another wrestling escapade that may very well end with my permanent hospitalization... BUT MAYBE! MAYBE I'LL CHALLENGE MR. DEDEDE AND WE CAN DO GAWD VS. GOD AT PFP! I'M SO PUMPED AND JACKED AND FIRED UP, IT'S GOING TO BE MONUMENTAL! IT'S GOING TO BE HISTORIC! THE BIRDS WILL HUM RHYTHMICALLY AS MASTER DEVASTATION STROLLS BY!"

[Y2Impact transitions back to his normal manner of speaking]

We're all human and everybody is prone to making mistakes, and the path our careers have taken is a reflection of the decisions we've made. I rose to the top and I continued to succeed without ever second-guessing myself. I endured an arduous and extensive rehab that nearly tore me limb from limb and concluded with this revitalized version of myself controlling EAW's airwaves since I started wrestling again this past May. Kevin Devastation returns and no one bats an eye, no one cares to notice it or give him the publicity he earnestly believes he deserves because he hasn't earned the right. Reputations can be misleading, but Kevin's precedes him and he's been woefully unable to shake off that stigma for over five years now. Nothing has changed, Devastation. I'm still in a league of my own reserved for only the truly elite and the bravest adventurers, while you lightly tread the mud and suddenly think you're capable of roaming freely before you end up sinking in quicksand and getting swallowed whole. Live with it.

HBG: Oh, jesus. Not this again. Not another Christopher Corrupt. Not another Jacob Senn. At least when they speak ill of my team they have at least some credentials to back up their stories -- not enough, but still noticeable and somewhat worthy of recognition. But as I look at Kevin Devastation and his ugly snarl, I wish for nothing more but to be held by my quintessential partner before I start to barf listening to complete and utter stupidity. I bet you're pretty fucking proud of yourself becoming this infamous outlaw who these days poses as a lapdog of the most gullible buffoon EAW ever had as a Chairman, Zack Crash, to extend your fullest courtesy and strong helping hands. You were denied of your big opportunity at Midsummer Massacre, and after being treated like you're nothing in this company but an overhyped beetleheaded waste of space that nobody even likes, you stand up to Hexa-gun, point your finger at our hired mercenaries and express your determination and fearlessness of what Y2Impact, Tiberius Jones and Drake Jaeger would be capable of in this upcoming match, and in future events we intend to crash in to make situations fall in our favor. But let me be the first of many more to tell you that yelling and blabbering complete nonsense and spewing a directionless threat is not a means to win. Mr. DEDEDE did splendidly at being an old yeller who thinks he could play the cards right by underestimating the force Y2Impact and I bring to this company as a team, but now a couple of months after his humiliating defeat, he ends up fighting for ratings in godforsaken Dynasty Wrestling shows where ringside tickets can be afforded by unhygienic rednecks. I get that you've felt the power of a returning superstar, you feel the blood rushing in your veins as you want nothing more than to show the world that after such a long absence, you are still capable of keeping up with the flow and pulling your weight... Believe me, I've been there, I've made some bad decisions and let everyone know it's all over with, and I am capable of bouncing back from the humiliation I've suffered... But when you start telling every living soul about your grand schemes and get overly upfront about your supposed viciousness, you might just drown in the tide of your own sorrow upon making the realization that those aspirations won't ever materialize. Your grand plans would disappear to thin air once it dawns on you that you were never cut from a special kind of fabric after all and there are elite talents out there who are just like you but could deliver better once they step in and take away your pride, rendering you obsolete and making you vanish from existence the same way Tiberius Jones did. You are fighting in this war to your last breath when nobody even needed you here to begin with. Everyone makes a mockery out of your name and accomplishments for a reason, and it's because each and every time you make a grand re-entrance in EAW, they've always been fruitless and unsuccessful, nothing you attempt to do ever amounts to anything, and I personally guarantee this go-around won't be any different. You're going all-in in this poker game; hotshot Kevin Devastation is taking a handful of his chips and confidently placing them at the center of the table pretending to be bold and brutal... But the problem is, people aren't convinced. People aren't drawn in because the sad reality of it is that your obnoxious loudness and bluffs are worth nothing if you only have a pair of tens in your hand... As opposed to the composed but deadly Hexa-guns who are capable of pulling cards from up their sleeves to be able to throw a winning royal flush. You can fight your way to it, or you can sit down and cry over your failures, but fact remains there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop this force.

I cannot stress enough how I've always believed in the phrase "No risk, no reward", it's one of many values the Mercenaries intend to uphold in the long run the moment Y2Impact and I became a team. I have always believed that nothing is ever enough, limitations don't exist and if you yearn for a bigger goal, then you have to fight harder for it even at the expense of others. That's what separates me from the afterthoughts and the whining whores in the vixens division. They are satisfied participating in ludicrous activities in their bikinis and exerting all that effort for the small satisfaction of declaring themselves the Empress of Elite... But how do you even call yourself an Empress if it doesn't allow you to hold any kind of power? The idea is absurd to me. I wish to aim higher and look at the bigger picture rather than get wide-eyed about a petty competition intended to pass time and make the vixens feel like they're wanted. I wish to use my abilities to think my way through situations and expand the dominance of The Mercenaries. We needed people we can trust for a good price if we wanted to take over. We needed cutting edge competitors who are experienced enough to solidify this unit. We needed real names and real faces to overpower what is an already fragile Quality Control. And thus, Hexa-gun was born. And at Midsummer Massacre, the five of us declared war on Zack Crash, and in the process revealed that former Dynast Tiberius Jones is our sixth member. We showed the viewers that we take no sides but our own, that we are concerned of helping no one but ourselves.

Y2Impact: My goals are beyond your understanding, Hades. I wouldn't be so quick to suggest I've lost my touch; in fact, I'd wager the opposite is closer to the truth than you realize. It's natural people like you and Rhaegar wouldn't want that to be the case, it's wonderfully human to see an insecure behemoth like yourself display an insecurity more common of a 5'5 clerk at a movie theater. You're counting your lucky stars and PRAYING Hexa-gun isn't the unstoppable cohort of rule-breaking, face-shattering comrades we proved ourselves to be at Midsummer Massacre when we annihilated Zack Crash and Ryan Savage. I'd echo similar sentiments if I were in your position, but while I'd stop short of calling myself "the brains behind the group," I organized this union and designed it to uproot and discard the physically incapable men so the strong could flourish while the weak perish in this survival-of-the-fittest game that will completely unravel EAW and the entire world. Par for the course with Rhaegar; after this upcoming Showdown, his country will disown him and erect a flag bearing the Hexa-gun insignia in our honor. Handling embarrassment and dejection is never easy -- it might just be slightly more difficult when Hexa-gun cleans the trash off the battlefield and wins decisively, only leaving upon you the option to accept your defeat and embrace your superiors.

HBG: Upon taking the stage after our respective returns, Y2Impact and I have bested tag teams in EAW who dared to step up, which includes the then-reigning Tag Team Champions, only a month after declaring ourselves as a respected team. We have displayed brute strength, we hatched plans as we struggled to crash in bullet-proof windows in order to get the opportunities we've set our minds to. We did what simpletons deemed impossible, especially for one like me who attempted to and subsequently succeeded at breaking the gender barrier. We won the gold and we've held it proudly as if it were our entitled birthright. And if we can create a storm that flawlessly, what's stopping us from bringing in other members we're certain won't disappoint? Maybe we are overhyped, Rhaegar. Maybe people like us too much that's why we can walk around and act like complete assholes to people like you and Zack Crash, and still be liked by millions. I suppose I'd take the option of being hyped up any day than be someone like you -- someone who has limited means and has to live up to this bland persona, someone who has to try too hard to get his share of the spotlight, as he tells sob stories about wrestling naked in the mud for the purpose of getting noticed by the few people who actually glance his way. We couldn't care less if you dislike us for what we did. It's not our concern how much you misinterpret our actions as some sort of a heroic deed. We've never intended to portray ourselves in that manner, and we take no responsibility for your misconceptions and ignorance. We are building ourselves up as a stronger, unbreakable fortress by competing in the matches scheduled for us, and you're merely a pawn, a stepping stone to our undeniable supremacy, a means to further prove that Hexa-gun can get through against any type of opponent. You, Kevin Devastation and Hades are not like-minded or united in any way, you are in a completely different world from one another despite having almost the same appearances, and I reckon you don't understand what it means to properly synchronize and function effectively as a unit. And after Showdown, Greece will be ashamed of what the hometown hero has done to his already unappealing, distressing career by stepping in the ring and falling victim to three members of the Hexa-gun. And I'll be overjoyed to watch from afar.

We don't need to pull a rabbit out of our hats to defeat you.

Y2Impact: The element of surprise is useless and redundant because we already have all that's required to completely eradicate you from a relevant existence in EAW...

HBG: And we look forward to exploiting that advantage.

[Video cuts. Scene ends.]