♚The evolutionary line with Tiberius IV: Human specimen down to knuckle dragger ancestors.♚






Voice over: In this world man has oft attempted to both crack the genetic code and discover secrets of the ancestors on this planet, obsession is all that one could use to define mankind’s search for understanding how we got here and to record the instinct species in our line. Since time immemorial man has known of species like man who have gone to dust within the eons of time, the two most notable the Neanderthal and Denisovan. Within the wealth of human knowledge is also known that we in the long distance past once bred with our closest cousins in the species of history. The two most prolific being so diluted to this day only five percent of their DNA of either can be found in the most inhuman of the humans that walk this earth. For a long time, people believed only these two species would be of note within out genes, but deep in the lands of EAW has Tiberius IV made a ground-breaking study in this concentrated area that discovered the third, The Knuckle dragger.

Apparently, the landscape of EAW has attracted so many of those whose ancestors bred with the Knuckle draggers that great leaps have been made to complete this discovery, including Tiberius’ own attribute spectrum to detect and create an estimation of how much Knuckle dragger DNA you may have.

These attributes are separated as Intelligence, Charisma, Sociability, Consistency(of argument without contradiction), and Exceptionalism. Not all weighed equally, that’s for secrets and another test of your intelligence if you fail to notice this disclaimer.

Today, we use the six members of the Showdown Elimination Chamber as examples.

Welcome to your teacher.
♚Tiberius IV’ voice can be heard and the correct images appear on screen.♚


Tiberius IV
Intelligence(100) Charisma(100) Sociability(100) Consistency(100) Exceptionalism(100)
Human(100%) Knuckle dragger(0%)



Oh you already knew the champion would be a perfect human specimen, if you didn’t you’d be too far gone for this lesson and if you were wondering what your own ancestry was you would be safe to just assume that the dirt you keep magically accumulating on the back of your hand doesn’t come from being able to keep your knuckles away from the ground. It’s no surprise that your champion and king would be the standout in which has no blemishes to speak of, the man that each and every one of you were unable to match from birth itself. Our traits as beings only became more obvious under pressure and countless tests, here in EAW is the place where the world would be able to differentiate me from the rest of you. See without a competitive and artistic landscape like that of EAW, everyone would know that I look better than these people I am stuck with, they’d see my strong facial features and the women at my arms, but they would never come across the fact that I outclass my opponents far beyond the skin deep appearance. They wouldn’t see me entertain with every feat of magic I have performed in this business, as I pull world championships out of my magician’s hat, and escape from any containment just when you think my enemies are about to put an end to me for good. They wouldn’t see my sleek footwork as I masterfully pull off heist after heist each night I’m out on the prowl to snatch away the jewels this business calls victories and my opponents wrongfully assume belongs to them. They wouldn’t know what “Citius, Altius, Fortius, Tiberius!” stands for, they’d think it just a catchy slogan from a man with a million dollar smile, instead of the strong representation of me both being those things compared to my rivals and because I’m always getting faster, higher, and stronger every single day of my life. You should all thank EAW for allowing you to witness me, at least half as much as EAW thanks me for granting it my presence. For I am the man who has shined a light in the dark alleys where cunning little thieves like myself have gone unnoticed, I am the one who held your hands through the mist and into castle you’d never have been exposed to without my leadership.

Prince of Phenomenal
Intelligence(85) Charisma(70) Sociability(80) Consistency(60) Exceptionalism(70)
Human(91%) Knuckle dragger(9%)



Now there is my fellow, albeit lesser, champion in this match who naturally has the qualities to represent his second fiddle status to me on Showdown, the prince to my king, POP! Now I’m sure it’s a tough pill to swallow to know one has more Knuckle dragger DNA than most people have Neanderthal, but you can rejoice to know that you at least stand far above the rest of the scum I have to deal with when wrestling in this company. At a time, I’m sure you had the world fooled into thinking you were a talent just like me, you’re a former world champion and hall of famer, you use to run these streets…when times were getting good and the greatest era of EAW was brewing for the consumption of the world, and I give credit to you as an ingredient for making what this very age is. But now that you’re back, no longer part of the EAW rising from hard times in the dirt, here at the pinnacle your limitations have begun to express themselves in ways that never would have been explored back in the days this company needed someone like you to save it from the Mr.Insults, Moonlight Predators, and many necessary evil names before you that have been forgotten. You even half the time spend your days wandering in a state of both self doubt and confidence, unsure of how you should feel in this environment. Worst of all, you needed the Heart Break Gal to beat me, and I wouldn’t fault you for it if you had manipulated HBG into doing it or concocted your on scheme, I fault you for it because it was just a coincidence that fell on your lap, showcasing that you POP are no longer someone who controls his own destiny, but someone who coasts through every passing day just to see how it goes. Such tepid energy, such inability to walk with purpose, will never take this championship away from me!

Rex McAllister
Intelligence(50) Charisma(40) Sociability(80) Consistency(70) Exceptionalism(20)
Human(65%) Knuckle dragger(35%)



This specimen, the last bastion of humanity in this match, Rex McAllister is someone who at least has the grace to thank me for gifting him the opportunity to be a one night king, but it is I who am even more thankful that he gave more evidence to my studies at the last minute of knowing him before I made a mistake in my reporting. As one might guess by me once knighting Theron Nikolas, I’m a charitable king who often gives people too much credit! I had your intelligence much higher Rex, probably because your blandness had often had me fall asleep without noticing when you randomly expose yourself, but thankfully you began to drag your knuckles for a blink of an eye that happened to be when I returned to consciousness during your talk and I witnessed you claim that no one in the J-Dynasty had ever won an elimination chamber; false Jaywalker did so in 2012. Now my sponsor may have lost many other chambers, but it does me no harm as he has been able to pass down teachings to the rest of the group what it is that it takes to win a chamber, and you rest assured if the Triumvirate had existed before Ares would have been privy to the information that I have!

My fall maybe the one the people want to see the most, but I’m the Mayweather of this company and will go on NEVER giving these people the slip up they’ve been waiting for as they pour dollars and dollars into the events with my face on the posters! Nothing lasts forever? Damn right, one day I’ll retire, and that’s the only time you’ll get this strap taken off me! I’m not quire sure why you trust your fellow chamber members so much. POP? I don’t know if he hates me more than he hates you, or any “hate” for us at all, that’s up in the air. Heart Break Gal? We may have our issues, but at least we were once friends, you have NEVER been anything to her but a problem. Diamond Cage and Theron? Yeah those two for sure hate me the most, and one would think they’d be gunning for me sure, and that may very well be, but I wouldn’t put any bets on those two, a lunatic and someone whose word means nothing, they’re the type of people who have been letting people down their entire lives. Unlike you however, I’m not that concerned with the others taking you out for me or some type of group effort where I need the others to despise you, as you well know I’m a rogue element in the wind, a knife in the shadows, if it comes down to it I’ll dirty my own hands by getting you when you least expect it.

Heart Break Gal
Intelligence(15) Charisma(85) Sociability(30) Consistency(30) Exceptionalism(30)
Human(47%) Knuckle dragger(53%)



Then there’s the Heart Break Gal, the former spiritual leader of Hexa-gun whose rotten soul has seen to it that we exist in these dark days. Failed to beat a nobody to help keep Hexa-gun alive, got rid of Y2Impact, and now continually does everything in her power to take away world gold from the only one left in the team that has the ability to keep our prestige up in value in the current times. What is it that they say? The woman is the emotion of the household, if she’s unhappy, everyone’s unhappy. I thought it was a blessing I and the rest of Hexa-gun got out before you and Y2Impact split apart, we wouldn’t have to deal with the woman who once kept our heads held high and kept us in check like that robot, or “the machine” Impact never could alone as leader, turn things into a decayed version of what once was with her pettiness and malcontent.  But who would have thought you’d come all the way up here to the summit of EAW and try fucking me over? You aren’t someone who operates under logic, you’re someone meant to be controlled by the likes of Y2Impact and Cameron, that’s why you always need someone else to survive and cover for what you lack, it’s why people like me use you as a prop to showcase our talents when we best you inside that ring. See HBG, all you are is a good eye catcher, a good little knuckle dragger that pulls at the heart strings from the people watching you in the zoo. Have you ever seen a zoo animal get kicked? Think of a pet cat or dog get punted across the room? That’s you, over the years you’ve become EAW’s pet animal who all the people pat on the head for yay breaking woman boundaries! But you’re also the pet no one takes serious nor wants to hear from, the fact of the matter is you’re supposed to do the little tricks better people than you tell you to do, you’re the accompanying act, not the main show, not the world champion. The sooner you come to realize that, the sooner you’ll stop being humiliated by me at every turn, but I don’t expect you to before you are dealt a harsh lesson behind that steel enclosure, and the zoo keepers will have to carry you out when you can’t leave yourself.

Theron Nikolas

Intelligence(80) Charisma(10) Sociability(5) Consistency(5) Exceptionalism(30)
Human(33%) Knuckle dragger(67%)



Then there’s the thinking man, the stoic mad man who thinks he’s had it all figured out, but never get’s the job done when it matters the most. Pretty sure you admitted a few weeks ago that frustration has been setting in, I say it’s because you have a lot of self hatred for the fact that your inner nature overwrote whatever functioning brain you have up there. You knew, your best shot was at my side, or at least when I was at my weakest, but instead because you just can’t stand being around people you came after me in the most premature and asinine way possible. I used to think it was me, even when you bad mouthed the Burned Man, Lars, and Drake, I thought there was something about my leadership that didn’t fit you, but then I saw how you interacted with the rest of the locker room, had you used your spot as a special guest referee to play games with others with me not involved at all, and I realized you’re just this antisocial outcast that that rides off whatever winds blow that day and scratches whatever itch comes to you. You just can’t help it. Maybe the itch tells you scratch, and you mess with Diamond Cage, maybe it tells you to scratch somewhere else and it’s time you step out of the shadows, and you burn in the light too soon. I won’t stop you, I no longer care about what it is that you decided to do and ruin yourself.  I say, keep on scratching, eventually you’ll bleed.


Diamond Cage
Intelligence(0) Charisma(0) Sociability(0) Consistency(0) Exceptionalism(0)
Human(0%) Knuckle dragger(100%)



And then there’s the biggest Knuckle dragger himself, Diamond Cage, the good for nothing, the man I hear has already won an elimination chamber, putting him in a different position then the rest of us. But I’m not worried, everyone knows Diamond Cage isn’t the brightest bulb, you’ve forgotten your entire playbook from that chamber event by now, haven’t you Cage? If you ever had a playbook to begin with. You’re someone that makes it a miracle to walk and talk at the same time, let alone ever be expected to not drag your knuckles and stand upright before your king and champion! Look at you, like some dirty ape smelling his own feces, you have the gall to talk about if my shit stinks or not? Listen, we humans don’t spend time smelling our droppings like your kind does, so I’ll have to apologize if I’ve never taken the time to know if mine smells or not to suit your fancy, I prefer to focus on finer things, smell the roses and enjoy the luxuries I steal from other people. Namely, I take the time to enjoy my championship reign that isn’t going to end any time soon. And right now, I think it’s about time I enjoy my beauty sleep heading into the event. I know, you guys will have had a lot to say by the time I grace you all with my presence again, but do be sure to be careful Cage, for you every word is a danger upon your life and reputation. Try to not to choke on your own tongue while I’m gone.

♚End♚

You never truly know beforehand what someone is capable of, you have to wait, give it time, because it's time that rules. Like a gambling partner on the other side of the table, holding all the cards to the deck within the palm of my hands, where everyone else tries aimlessly to pick out the winning ones, I have plenty of time. I will wait. There's time both objective and subjective alike. The objective, that of which this elitist invests in. Everything passes, but nothing entirely goes away. No matter how much time passes, no matter what takes place in the interim, there are some things we can never assign to oblivion, never rub away. There can be brutal moments, filled with grief, pain...fear. Each experience builds to the next. Each chapter written has been another closer to the end of the story.  Those who play their cards right get exactly what they desire and more. There's many that go to far greater lengths just to avoid what they fear than that of which they truly desire. In each experience that I've ever been a part of, I've later used that of which I gained regardless if it came with victory or defeat, and this will be absolutely no different. I'll take that EAW Championship from you all, if you allow it. But what I desire most is what I can take from this experience, that can propel me to greater heights with or without the most coveted prize in our industry today. It's always been this way, and it didn't matter what I had to do to ensure that I did take from each of those experiences or how it would affect the future of others. There is nobody that can prevent my forward progress, I'm fully convinced of that now. After removing every last sad little soul from my path on these terrains, I've continuously moved on to something better. Never at any given moment have I not given thought to any move that I happen to make, all actions that have played integral parts in shaping the future...my future. However, I do want this for others that sit lower than this elitist on the totem pole, but more than that? I want to bring every last competitor below me to show those that are below me now, that the worlds...these fabricated worlds with kingdoms built from dust they all foolishly entrap themselves within, how very easy it can be to blow those kingdoms into nothingness. Many may not agree with how easy the road was to get here, and make no mistake about it, there was lots of thought put into each decision I've made to ensure that my forward progress continued. But what they need to understand is they don't control any of the circumstances involving the outside sources, the decisions I've made, or the final outcomes. They're powerless to stop it, and time? It's on my side. The cards are in the palm of my hands, the winning ones, and at Road To Redemption, this elitist is going to take the next steps in his ascension, reaching heights none of them could even fathom was possible. That of which they didn't foresee is what will destroy any hope they've had of walking away becoming something more, if they walk away at all. I'm not a King. I'm not a Prince. I'm not a Knight. I'm not a Consigliere. 

I'm not any of those names. 

I don't have to be to vanquish them all.

But the important thing they need to remember once they've ultimately fallen short of all the assumptions and expectations they placed on themselves to come through when it counted most, is that it was never the victory in combat that everyone was waiting to see, but that they fought at all. Justice, it's got hardly anything to do with failing or triumphing. Most feel that they have a rightful claim to the ultimate prize because they truly feel that they have earned it. Feeling entitled to something when they don't have it all figured out. Others like you, Tiberius, who haven't seen a rainy day on that constant parade across the country toting that championship belt along with, seemingly a model of perfection that can't do no wrong when that gold is on the line. I told you before, Tiberius...back when we faced off for that belt that you weren't the focus of everything that I was seeking to accomplish, and that still holds true. Defeating you simply removes you from your throne, but you aren't; that belt is not my endgame. There is far too much left for me take for myself down the line before that time comes. You're a but another stepping stone to the next big obstacle. You've gotten to this point by finding victory when it counted most, each time it allowed you to flex you hubris before everyone. It all seemed so easy, and I suppose you have very little reason to believe otherwise at this point, but you still have to prove it one more time. But again, how many in your position ever had an advantage in a match like this, and have been able to live to talk about it with their title held high able to talk proudly about such a moment for the rest of their careers? Not many, and you seek to add your name to the short list that have. Someone like you will always create a false sense of security for yourself when all else fails, and we all look forward to that. It's like I've said before, anything you do now until the match becomes too predictable, and we'll see it coming from miles away. It's when things become too predictable that we're already expecting you will say something that is typically generalized, but it quickly becomes hearsay because chances are someone has already said it, and they'll know you are in a desperate position trying to overcompensate in hopes that it will be enough to turn the tide in your favor. But it will make no difference this time.

Your moments soon become somebody else's.

That's why we're all here. To celebrate a new coronation, isn't that right, Heart Break Gal? It's been a long climb up the mountain, and what a shame if someone was able to send tumbling back down after once again having worked so hard just to get here again. But you'll keep getting right back up after being knocked down because the big bad bullies of Showdown made it so, and that's your little sob story that the universe is expected to hang on as we approach Road To Redemption. You're still a slave, regardless of your view of it, because the reality is that you being a slave to your own obsessions is why you are destined to keep having to climb back up this mountain. Your obsession to be validated on this brand, and to the person that stares back at you in that mirror each day when you wake up ready for "me versus the world" the next installment that comes after all the other ones, just like de ja vu. You've clearly not adapted to me very well, Heart Break Gal. It only took a moment of listening to you speak to realize that once again, I was proven right when it comes to you. You do need this more than me. You need this more than anybody else, because of the historical significance behind it should you walk way the victor. But that's why I will take great joy in playing a factor in your demise on Saturday. I will enjoy watching you crumble once again before me as you have in the past. I don't need to be anything more than what I am now to bring you down to your knees where like a slave, like the stepping stone that you are, where you belong. There's no miscommunication here, there never has been with you and I. Your the Heart Break Gal, Hall of Famer, a multi-time Vixen's Champion, and one of the most influential athletes in the wrestling world bar none, and I'm Rex McAllister, a man. A simple man that has been able to manipulate every last one of your little narratives, turning your folly into my fortune. That's how I operate, how I have gained power. You keep giving it to me. Joe Doe has been of great aid in my ascension, but how are you going to prevent me from taking the final steps toward claiming my place on top of the mountain? Oh, that's right. You'll fight. How unoriginal. I expect more from someone like you, because it's going to take so much more than simple cliche and empty promises to get you to the promise land. You've been dragged down due to your own obsession. They say the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over again hoping for a different result. What you have said in short is that you deserve this more than anyone else in this match. If that's so, then perhaps the stars will align perfectly. I do look forward to you being able to prove me wrong in the end, because you're right. You are viewed as nothing but a girl, and to set the record straight I beat you because you are just a girl. You spill out your emotions, revealing all of your biggest insecurities, and expecting the world to give you all the attention because you are just a girl. You're not looked at, revered, or renowned on this brand, and never will be because you are a girl. You don't have many triumphs to speak of on this brand, just the one that got you here, but soon you'll find out that that one victory that got you here, all the things you happen to say and do will end up being for nothing. 

Just another opportunity taken away.

More melancholy added to your misery.

Leaving you once again to wonder what's next.

As the time draws near to Saturday night, and the blood of Diamond Cage begins to boil more and more, you can see he has his poor soul set on nothing but triumph no matter the cost of pain. Your tenacity is admirable, but I'm afraid none of that has been validated inside of an EAW ring for a long time. So caught up you are in proving you are still that Diamond Cage of old, still trying to prove that with a constant chip on your you can break through all walls in front of you like a tank. You wish to take matters into your own hands, yet it's your same reckless nature, that even you acknowledge could be your undoing in the end, that without much thought inside of a steel chamber with dangerous repercussions is why you will fight. But how are your fortunes suddenly supposed to play out the way you've envisioned when everything else that fell apart in your life went away because you were powerless to stop it? It makes you fight harder, more desperately, but it doesn't ensure much as you should've learned from your many experiences previous. Your views of me, they're rather mundane to me, because much like yourself, I have fought to be here. I have taken from many to be here. Every last experience that I've been apart of has brought me here, and has made it possible to become what I have today? Someone who is on the cusp of taking from you and all the others once again ascending higher, proving that you all were truly unfit for the positions you are in now. You've been in the chamber before, but the past while it can influence everything, it dictates nothing. Everything that you are saying right now hardly means anything to me because I've not been in your shoes, or in the chamber before. So you can understand why it is a waste of yours and my time to constantly tell the world that Diamond Cage is the biggest threat and this ticking time bomb waiting to explode. You should understand by now, that with everything that this elitist has done is more than enough to take any one of you out of the equation any time he sees fit. It's been done before, but it's clear to me that you have not been paying attention. I can't convince you, you can't convince me. And that's why actions speak so much louder than our words ever could. You can continue to declare away what makes you deserving of another moment at the top, and I'll simply be concocting endless amounts of ways to decimate you. 

You're just a simple pawn who holds none of the winning cards.

You barely have a dog in this fight.

It has not mattered whether I truly belong here in anyone eyes or not, because regardless I am here. I'm here because all of you have allowed it to be. You've all played parts in my rise. I'm waiting to find out who, if any, is the one that can reverse my fortunes? Who is it that can prevent my forward progress? When this is finished, and you have walked away with nothing, maybe then you'll give me my due. But that's not what I'm looking for, it's not something I want.

In the end, it will be far more satisfying to destroy everything you've worked for to be here.

See you soon.

Chris Elite I want to express my gratitude towards you before I verbally end your life.

Thank you for being another dancing pawn for me. Thank you for being another cog in the machine. Thank you for being another brick in the wall. All of this - this sideshow, this gimmick and the persona that you put on, this costume you dance around in, these coined phrases that you repeat - it does nothing more than line my pockets. You're just another commodity to me Chris, and I can see why the EAW fan base entertains your garbage, hell even I find you entertaining. You play the character of A disgruntled work horse who's finally rebelling against the system, and it's a story the common man and woman can relate to because everybody wants to be the one who stands up to their boss and comes out better for it, even if it's a complete and total fantasy. Maybe a good late 90's television trope for an anti-hero bad ass, but in the real world there's no such thing. You don't get to say "Fuck my boss!" and come out 100 million dollars richer in real life Chris, I'm sure you know that. But fantasy becomes reality when profit is involved, and that's where you fit in so perfectly. You're my newest and latest cash cow, because you appeal to the modern man's delusions. The key demographic of 18-35, aka the millennials are eating up your rebellious snarky attitude, your street lingo and your sense of entitlement. You even spent months bitching and moaning like a teenage girl on a never ending period , so the adolescent female demographic can relate to you as well. You're profitable by a lot of margins, and I can appreciate a good investment even if it's one that quickly depreciates in value such as you will. But everything that trends upwards eventually trends downwards. The point in every investment is to strike while the iron is hot, proverbially speaking of course, and maximize the profit you can gain from it. Road to Redemption is the perfect event for our match, and it's where things have been headed the entire time. I mean of course I could have just whooped your ass at Territorial Invasion, or I could have set this match up for Ground Zero and whooped your ass there, but you didn't have the kind of momentum that you have now. Now you have millions of people as your captivated audience, and now you have the world at attention, because your words have finally reverberated throughout the EAW Universe and the EAW Universe hears you loud and clear.

And that's the only reason why this match is happening. Not because any of your words crawl under my skin. Nothing you say is going to truly phase me, not even when you bring up my children, not even when you go after my past achievements and attempt to belittle my accomplishments. This match of ours at Road To Redemption which has come with an aptly named tagline of "Gawd vs.  Gods Given Greatness", this match is a well thought out, meticulously plotted business decision from my end. Do you understand? This could never be personal for me. No matter how personal our attacks have been against each other, and no matter how deep our words may dig, this is still the Mr. DEDEDE show when step into the ring. You are only a contributing actor in my feature length film, you don't effect my life whatsoever because I don't only work for myself now, I work for Elite Answers Wrestling incorporated. Meaning when Mr. DEDEDE competes it's not simply for the sake of my own personal glory, as if that weren't evident by allowing a career failure like you to be in the same ring as me. I could have given that "knock off Punisher" Jacob Senn his rematch and beat him a second time in a row and instantly put myself in the right position as a key contender for any World Championship in this company. That's what the old Mr. DEDEDE would have done. I could have tried to fire and bury you, but nobody wants to see me face Jacob Senn again because the results would be obvious. With our match we give the audience the unknown. We've never faced off one on one, and you've never been in a match nearly as big as this, so I figured what the hell maybe we can make some money together and I can beat your ass for free. 

Since you like bringing up my daughter I just want to ask you on a related note, how are them merchandise royalties looking like Chris? Because my daughter's allowance is bigger than your fucking paycheck Chris. But I'm sure once your Road to Redemption pay day comes around that won't be too much different since your merchandise sales have shot up by 500% off of my name. I didn't say all of that to try to be funny and mock you, rather I wanted to bring you back to reality for a second and give you a reasonable explanation behind why you're in the position that you're in right now.  When a surplus in profit is generated you have to look at the key distinctions in the current algorithm versus those in previous algorithms and figures to identify where the consumer saw value in the product, versus where the consumer saw little to no value in that same product. What's interesting about the "Mr. DEDEDE vs. Chris Elite" marketing ploy is that it all happened organically, as in you organically started to dump on my name to compensate for all of your failures. So follow with me Chris because I'm going to explain why you're relevant enough to touch gloves with The Gawd when you should be opening shows with Shaker Jones like the pathetic jobber that you are. Statistically speaking over the last 8 years when you would shit the bed in Chris Elite fashion and lose matches that you should have won, it made no difference whether you complained or kept your mouth shut, because you couldn't draw a dime if you had a goddamn pen and paper. The key difference in this situation is that the name "Ryan Adams" was brought to the table. So let's go back again to how you appeal and relate to a broad demographic, because you see the majority of people are failures in life. They all once had a dream but gave up on that dream somewhere along the lines and settled for mediocrity, but the majority of people don't take the onus upon themselves to show accountability for their shortcomings, so what the majority of people do is come up with excuses. Every time someone else gets what they feel they should have gotten, there's an excuse. "I would have gotten this promotion, BUT", "I would be making more money, BUT". You can come up with a whole litany of bullshit reasons behind why you aren't where you want to be, but as long as you don't have to take responsibility for your own losses you in turn don't have to work harder. 

Now all you have to do is create a foil in the public's mind, and that's where I come along. The concept of a foil dates back to the beginning of time, back to when religion was first instituted as a concept. When you can liken your own foil to the foil in the average person's life, they begin to relate to your struggle even if your entire struggle is a fallacy. You are the ultimate symbol of failure in EAW, you haven't had one good championship run, you've never been able to garner any real momentum. Whereas I'm the ultimate symbol of success. This match of ours is a battle of polar opposites, and opposites attract viewership. And that's all this is, because we both know I have nothing to do with your shortcomings no matter how much you want to pin everything bad that happens to you on me. Let's really discuss this like it's just you and me Chris because the jig is up in a handful of days, we both know you're bullshitting your fuckin' ass off. This whole game of "RY-AN A-DAMS!" "I-WUZ-SKREWED-BY-RY-UN-AD-UMS!" It's-it's a character. You're a character bro, just admit it. Everything down to your whole style is phony. It's not you. Just because you're loud doesn't mean you're actually tough, nor does it make any of your words true. You were put to the test against people like Jamie O'Hara, Cameron Ella Ava, Heart Break Gal, and you lost clean as a whistle. There was no crooked referee, no controversy, there was no outside interference, you just failed and distracted everyone from your failures by vocally slandering my name as some sort of white noise. When it all comes down to it you have failed so many times in your career that it's almost become something that people overlook now, you've shattered any expectations that people would have upon any pro wrestler or athlete in general who's as loud and as boisterous as you. We've seen some of the greats in sports talk that shit! No athlete has talked as confidently and walked as tall as you and got knocked on their ass as many times as you have. And hey let me be at least a little more compassionate here, I've been knocked on my ass plenty of times. We all eat our L's from time to time. Never though have I ever blamed my whole situation on the actions of another man. When you go around screaming "HE'S THE REASON I'M NOT SUCCESSFUL!" about another man, it's like you're calling him daddy. It's like asking why God doesn't love you, accept in this case I breathe the same air and bleed the same color as you. You've taken a completely submissive role and as a man I can't respect that. That's why as a man I don't respect you. 

But as a man, when someone calls out my name and challenges me and openly disrespects me as many times as you have, as a man I have to put my boots in the mud and step into the trenches. Sometimes when a loud mouth little troll like you gets indignant and gets to smelling yourself, and happens to summon up the gall to call your superior out of his motherfucking name, I have to take it upon myself as your SUPERIOR TO BRING THE FUCKING HAMMER DOWN WITH MY OWN HANDS. And that's where we're at Chris. Firing you doesn't resolve the issue. Ignoring you only emboldens you more. Censoring doesn't get the message sent, all it does is allow the public fooled into thinking there's validity behind your lies and slander. What I have to do is take this a step beyond censorship, and that's by silencing you. When you censor a man you take away the public's ability to hear him. When you silence a man you take away his will to run his mouth. So I've granted you the honor of competing with me and I've allowed you the opportunity at mega-stardom and you had better hold onto and savor this opportunity like it were a fucking lotto ticket. Except there's a catch 22 to this lottery, because I'm selling you a dream and in four short days I'm smashing it into pieces. This supposed power struggle between you and I is nothing more than the powerball to you. You're just one of the million other people who've taken their chance at me and failed. You took a one in a million chance and made me millions of dollars, just like the other useful idiots who precede you. But I'm going to make you regret going for broke, because I'll make sure even at the risk of losing everything I have that I leave you in the end with nothing. 

Gawd Giveth, Gawd Taketh away.

 
(The Champion of Life had worked hard. VERY HARD. The training regimen that he had undergone for that day had been intense. Much more intense than he would have anticipated considering Mao had debated dialing back his schedule. He endured and was rewarded with a day off. What did he do? He found a nice, secluded spot with a whirlpool and relaxed, letting his thoughts of the struggles ahead come and go before deciding to elaborate on some of his thoughts.)








As things stand right now, I feel great and more than prepared for my battle in the Elimination Chamber. I’m thankful for my extensive experience in that structure. It may not be the difference between winning and losing, but in a situation as complicated and dangerous as this, I’m more than happy to hedge my bets a little bit. I’ve noticed some recurring themes. Of all the participants in this match, only one of them seems to want to give the future Champion of Voltage and the current Champion of Life his proper due: TLA.


I decided to have a little message prepared for you because I want there to make your life a little easier and even better. I don’t have a lounge of transvestite strippers and the FBI or CIA prowling around my properties, but you’ll just have to make do with my words and a whirlpool whirring in the background. I am sober, and I will deliver my message to you completely without being inebriated. Not by any choice of my own, mainly because my manager has taken alcohol off the table for this week. Yes, it’s that important to win the World Championship, to claim the most prestigious title in EAW. It’s that grand.


You are not going to win the belt at Road to Redemption. Not because you aren’t worthy. You’re not going to win it because, simply put, I’m going to take it. This isn’t some long-winded put down of you, but it’s just the situation. You are good, maybe one of the best in the world, but if it comes down to you and me, I fear absolutely nothing. I have fought battles with everyone in EAW history that has ever been truly relevant. I fear absolutely no living human being. I’ve seen it all and done it all in this sport except one thing: capturing an EAW World Championship, the elusive unicorn of my career for some reason. I love the fact that you seem to love saying Amadeus beat me as if I am phased by that. That’s really cute. I have defeated people like Jaywalker, Hurricane Hawk, Lioncross, Aren Mstislav, GI Styles, Jacob Senn and Zach Crash. Losing to Amadeus to me is like having a bad night at the gym or a bad day at work. Surely, being a fellow former Interwire Champion and one half of the greatest World Tag Team Championship team in the history of this or any other company should merit a little more consideration, no?


And, allow me to clarify my remarks if you misunderstood. Yes, I’m one of the most reviled and disrespected people in EAW history….in terms of how management has treated me through my career and in terms of how many fellow wrestlers perceive me. I have fans. To what extent I do not know, I’m not one to flex my muscle or call on my fans to bail me out of a jam or celebrate every little thing. I’m sociable but not that damn sociable. While everyone doesn’t hate me or respect me, there are some who do, just as I’m sure there are many “fans” out there who cheer you to your face but in the privacy of their own homes want you deported or beaten up or “sent back to Mexico”. You understand? The fans of this company, while I care for their entertainment and enjoyment of our product, I care extremely little for their opinion of how I conduct myself in the squared circle or the board room for that matter. Do you think that Ronaldo gives a fuck about what fans of Real Madrid say of his work? Do you think Tom Brady gives a damn about what a random New England Patriots fan thinks of his progressions on a seven step drop in the pocket? Of course not. That is my relationship with the fans, as complex as it is and as honestly, I can describe it.


As for your plans to make me submit….


Heh……


You’re a cocky motherfucker, aren’t you? I have been in the ring with some real technical wizards. Some really great technical wrestlers. And very few of them have ever been able to turn the trick. Some of them were the beneficiary of circumstances where my overall health and well-being mattered seeing as I had a much more important match down the road. This is the important match down the road. Do you think that you and your amateur at best mastery level of submission holds can topple me, then maybe you’re not quite as bright as I had imagined, TLA? I have several submissions that I use, hell I invented a submission just for fun to bring to Voltage: The Rosso Recliner. You would be best advised to brawl with brawlers or fly with other kicky-flippy motherfuckers. You will not outwrestle the most Complete Wrestler in the World. That is not a boast or a threat, that’s a dead-on promise and the stark reality of things. You’re more than welcome to try, but I would be an asshole if I didn’t warn you of your folly before you even attempted it. There. You’ve been warned.


As for Amadeus, his silence is more and more interesting by the second. Has he lost his taste for combat? Has the power gone out at Nightmare’s apartment building? Did Apocalypse confiscate his phone as well as his balls? I honestly don’t know and honestly, I don’t care. But he will be in the chamber with the rest of us, and I will prove that the Interwire Champion is a cut below that of his predecessors. I didn’t have to beat him before, I didn’t need to beat him before, but I have to and need to now. And, as much as you people insult my record, I have plenty of experience and plenty of wins in clutch situations.


Where is our world Champion? Where is our belligerent one who was supposed to embody the strength of the new generation? I was amused when I started seeing some of the mud slung earlier today, but as it turns to night here in Minnesota, it seems like most of you have lost your gift for gab. Where’s Jamie with his long-winded eloquence?  Where’s Keelan with his caveman-level vocabulary?


Eh, on second thought, it doesn’t matter. I’ve heard everything worth hearing from everyone that I care to hear form, Including you Mr. Dragon. I’ve tamed Dragons before, my friend, so you breathing fire doesn’t startle me in the least. Iron is forged in fire to make steel, and the arms that I possess are as sharp and as devastating as any blade ever known to mankind. So, as you prepare to swoop down on your enemies, remember that there is one man yet with the unshakable nerve and the will who will cut off the Dragon’s head to save the village treasure.


I’m not hearing anything so far that’s motivating me anymore or any less to take the World Championship. At this point, if you need the words of another man to truly motivate you to reach for this goal, then you probably shouldn’t be in this situation to begin with. You people see the relaxing in the whirlpool, the talking, and the matches in the ring. But none of you have seen the amount of preparation, the film study, the working out, and training that has gone into this very moment, these very days. For over two years, even as I lay in the ring trying to stand after what happened at Pain for Pride 9, I promised that I would find my way back to the world championship picture, some way and somehow. And now I’m here. How I got here is irrelevant. How any of you got here is irrelevant, especially to my thought process? And none of you can take away that I belong in that chamber with all of you. Am I at a disadvantage in some respects? Yes. I’m the oldest of this year’s chamber competitors on Voltage and comments from our illustrious world champion aside, in one way he is correct: you only have so many opportunities at this. Also, in a point that I think has more merit than what he said: your body can only absorb so much punishment. Being in EAW as long as I have, I have endured quite a lot. Sometimes you feel superhuman. But the reality is that we’re all men. We all have a threshold, we all have a breaking point.


It's a grim reality that I face every day, but it’s also motivation to keep going. Why? Because you never know what can happen in a match like this. You never know how soon or how late a man will meet his breaking point. The last time I was in one of these, I was the first person eliminated. But…who is to say that I am not the one who can be the last man standing this time? Even with the odds against me, they are just that. Odds. It’s not like they can’t be overcome.


Speaking of overcoming, Lars, I’m actually giddy that you’re well. I’m really glad that you seem to be recovering well from your precipitous fall from the fucking skybox. I’ve done some pretty insane things myself, but I do have to give you due credit for that. It’s a complete disregard for human life to take that type of risk. I think it’s a little foolish, but if that’s what you want to do and how you want to go about life, hey, do you. I will say this though, you’ve presented us with quite the lovely target! I’ve had my fair share of dangerous falls in and out of the ring and there is no way that you will be 100 percent before Saturday. Absolutely no way. And while you’re brave and will do everything in your power to battle through this in route to the championship, even you can’t deny that you will be quite severely hampered. I have a game plan and even though I have decided to keep quiet about it, just understand that my insurance policy will take what’s left of your broken, withered husk of a body and grind it to dust. Also, since your brain probably hit your occipital on the way down after your fall, you should keep in mind that I did have a three-match win streak on Voltage before Amadeus got fortunate. Sure, the winning streak had opponents that weren’t particularly noteworthy, but they are wins. I do admit though I haven’t fared as well on the FPV front as I should. You and Keelan both have had something to do with that, of course, but that is a state of affairs that I plan on rectifying quite shortly from now. Also, there are only FIVE other men in the match, excluding yourself. Unless you’re counting Jamie’s Ego as the sixth man, you apparently have failed elementary arithmetic.


Just a reminder……FIVE……


That is also, coincidentally enough, the amount of federations where I have held a World Championship before this at either the heavyweight or cruiserweight level. I am not a stranger to big venues, dangerous opponents, wrestlers who have a size advantage, speed advantage, whorehouse advantage, crazy advantage, or even a technical ability advantage. Yet, every time, I find a way to rise above and climb my way to the top. Perhaps though, I think taking the gold in EAW will be my most sweet accomplishment. It took a long time to get to this point. Battling myself and the competition at one point nearly became too much to bear and I for a while contemplated retirement. But watching a few episodes of Dynasty, Showdown, Empire and Voltage from home after my tenure as General Manager of Voltage came to an end, that convinced me that it was time to come back. That it was time to retake my place among the elite, and then become the Champion of the Elite. People can say what they want about Voltage. I’ve heard that it’s Jamie’s playground, that he cannot be beaten here. That the people here would not survive and thrive on Dynasty or Showdown (for obvious reasons, Empire is left out of this particular discussion).


TO THEM, I SAY THAT IS BULLSHIT!


And we will prove that. All six (LARS….) of us in the Chamber will prove it together, engaging in the bloodiest, most violent, most brutal elimination chamber of all time. And in the end, when it’s me on the other side, I can tell you that this tiger will not flinch at the sight of a larger beast. This old animal has had long, memorable battlers with people a lot tougher, smarter, and crazier than you and not only survived to tell the tale but gave them a good ole fashioned asskicking in the process. So please, continue to think that anything that you say or do is going to intimidate me. You do nothing of the sort. In fact, you make me laugh. A lot. So, I would suggest getting plenty of ice and taking a cortisone shot or two before you come to the Stadium this weekend because you are in for a long shift in the office.


Some of you motherfuckers are just convinced that you’re going to go in, hit anything that moves and just walk out like an Elimination Chamber is some beat-em-up video game from my generation’s youth. Nah, this aint Streets of Rage or Final Fight. You have to be smart, nuanced, prepared for the occasion. And I will come prepared. More than ready. So, I bid you all adieu, so I can relax and get a good bit of sleep here. Have a pleasant evening, and remember….


I am going to be the ONE to hand O’Hara his ultimate defeat.


All the rest of you have nothing to offer me other than another stain of blood on my fighting gloves.

(We start this promo off backstage with the unnamed interviewer that stalks The High Rollerz on a daily basis. He’s really pumped up. So much so he takes off his High Rollerz shirt and sweatpants to show off a singlet and boots. It’s not a pretty sight, to say the least. His fat is just pouring out of the singlet and his pastiness is blinding all of the innocent men, women and children walking by him. Yes, unfortunately those kids are gonna have nightmares of this day for the rest of their lives. The interviewer approaches The RAD Betting Agency which is basically a door backstage, APA style…except there are a few massage chairs behind the door because David and Jack got that cheddar. The interviewer knocks on the door. David answers with a “not now.”)

Interviewer: Oh my god! To those tuning in right now, I don’t know what to say, other then the adrenaline is taking over. I’M FREAKING OUT BOYS AND GIRLS! THE TIME HAS COME! As you all know, this weekend at Road to Redemption, The Triumvirate’s Lannister and Ares Vendetta put their tag titles on the line against the deadliest trio of all time, The High Rollerz! What’s gonna happen when we all collide?! I’ll tell you what!! Jack, David and myself are going to run right through them. David and Jack, being the pros that they are and just having the overall talent that they possess will tire those fake champions out with their ring savviness and then they’ll make the hot tag to me and I’ll charge into the ring, pick them both up with my superhero strength and Powerbomb them through the ring, sealing the victory. Then Jack and David will put me on their shoulders and I’ll yell “we are the goat tag team” with both titles in my hands. But that’s enough about me. I have inside sources telling me David is behind that door. Woj bomb, I know. Well plus, his voice confirmed it. I know David is training back there. He’s so determined to get back our titles, it’s scary. Never seen him like this. So let’s see what he’s doing.

(The interviewer opens the door because he lacks manners. The interviewer was right, David was in fact behind the door the entire time. But David isn’t training. He’s doing something much cooler...ironing something. Looks like his arm sleeve that he wears for his matches.)

Interviewer: Hey David, whatcha doing? 

David: I could ask you the same thing. 

Interviewer: I’m glad you asked! So like today I was—

David: Oh you didn’t let me finish. I said I could ask you the same thing, but I won’t. Let me make this perfectly clear, I don’t take an interest in the things you do. 

Interviewer: Ha David, such a goofball am I right, guys? But for real what are you doing right now? I’m sure the viewers would like to know.  

David: Before I answer, I’m just now noticing you are wearing a singlet that is way too tight for you. You look even more ridiculous than usual. Something I thought was seemingly impossible. But here you are, once again topping yourself. Congrats. 

Interviewer: I can tell by the tone of your voice that was sincere and I just want to say thank you, it means a lot to me. This moment will be the last thing I think of when I’m peacefully lying on my deathbed. 

David: You’re welcome? But to answer your question, what am I doing? Things. I’m doing dope things, as per usual. It’s expected of me at this point. And to most, that would be a lot of pressure. Having to do dope stuff all the time? Even when the cameras are off? Who could honestly do that? Me. And it comes effortlessly. So shoutout to me on a job well done. I mean look at me right now. I’m ironing my arm sleeve. Who else is doing that? Nobody. I’m light years ahead. A true visionary. LOOK AT IT!!! This arm sleeve is what I wore when we won our titles for the first and oh yeah, the second time as well. This arm sleeve is clutch as fuck because of the person that wears it. I was gonna say that this arm sleeve brings luck like a rabbit’s foot but luck has nothing to do with it. It’s all about that skillz baaaaaby. So yes, this arm sleeve means a lot to me. I keep it in mint condition. It’s usually in a vault back in Vegas but for this match, I’m breaking it out. Ohhhhh shhhhit right? How is that fair David? It isn’t. I was trying to think of a clever response, but “it isn’t” is the true answer, call it Allen Iverson. And I swear to god if Ares or Lannister stains this sleeve with their blood I’M GONNA LOSE MY FREAKING MIND! 

Interviewer: So what’s the purpose of the arm sleeve? To look cool? 

David: Well I mean, kinda. But also because Ares’ hair is always wet.. Like really wet. Unnaturally wet. If I didn’t have the sleeve on while going for a headlock, he would just slip out of it. That’s not fair. That’s cheating. That’s worse than PEDs, which is something I’m always accused of taking. Look at my body. It’s a temple! I’m a Greek god. I weigh in at an astonishing 205 pounds with muscles for days. First thing you think of when you see me is, “oh yeah he’s definitely on the juice.” I’m clean. I’m pure. I’m a world class athlete. I don’t need it. 

Interviewer: Oh true but back to Ares’ wet hair. Why do you think it’s like that? 

David: I’d like to think that the day of the show, whether it’s Showdown or a FPV, it’s always raining outside the arena and he’s walking on the sidewalk, just minding his own business until a car comes by and speeds up near a puddle and all the water lands on him and then he runs and cries and is reminded his parents don’t love him and he has nobody in this world that genuinely likes him and he’ll die alone.. 

Interviewer: Well that escalated quickly. So what’s our game plan for this match? 

David: What? “OUR” game plan? 

Interviewer: Yeah, what do you want me to do out there? I think we need to utilize my speed or strength early on…or perhaps a combination of both. 

David: What are you going on about? You’re not in this match…

Interviewer: It says Ares and Lannister versus The High Rollerz. Everybody knows there are three High Rollerz. 

David: Oh you’re so right. You’re even the team captain of this dream team. But unfortunately Brian Daniels says you won’t suit up for this one. 

Interviewer: WHAT? THAT’S BS! WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?! 

David: He told me that you have to think bigger picture. You’re a premier talent. A lock to main event Pain for Pride this year. You gotta rest up. 

Interviewer: Damn, when you put it like that, it’s probably for the best. Say if I had a freak injury in this match at Road to Redemption, Pain for Pride would be cancelled and it would be all my fault. I wouldn’t be able to cope. So I guess this is for the best, sorry David. 

David: Yeah I think I’ll manage. 

Interviewer: Well, for this week I guess I’ll stick to being an interviewer. You have a big match this week. I don’t really have a question. Just give me your thoughts on this title match. 

David: Road to Redemption, such a fitting name. Nah, I’m kidding. I’m not starting off like that. Everybody does that. They say this week is their shot at redemption blah blah blah. This isn’t about redemption for us. The High Rollerz are the greatest tag team of all time. If I was on a rooftop right now, I’d shout that until my voice was lost. The case is closed. There is no debate, sorry Skip, sorry Stephen A. But for a second, let’s go back in time to last month. What happened at Territorial Invasion didn’t really prove anything. I know, I’m really unbiased about all of this. But the fact is, we wanted Lannister and Ares, two v two. We even marched into Brian Daniels’ office to demand as such. Instead he gives us this six man tornado tag BS. And as a result, a unit that was used to being well, a unit, won. Taking our gold in the process. Not gonna lie, remembering that moment keeps me up at night. I wish I could just shut my eyes and forget. But instead my eyes stare straight up at the ceiling. And when I do, I don’t see a plain white painted canvas, I visualize Ares and Lannister holding our titles. That title was my little bundle of joy. Then Lannister took it and put his hands all over it. That poor title had no idea what was going on. I’m sure it tried to hide from him, like the daughter in that Liam Neeson movie, Taken. And I too promise that Lannister, I will find you and I will kill you. Well not actually kill, but I’m gonna fuck you up nonetheless. I mean just last week, The High Rollerz stood tall, with our titles back in our hands. What a great feeling. A feeling you should have never let happen because that obsession I have for those titles has only gotten worse since then, kind of like that little freak in those Lord of the Ring movies that says my precious!!!! And I can promise you that at Road to Redemption, I’ll be getting my precious back. No, not Gabourey Sidibe, but my championship. I know, that needed clarification.  

You know what I hate? Well a lot of things, but ever since you won those titles, we’ve been on your schedule and it’s tiring. Since you two barely compete on Showdown, we no longer get our weekly matches because instead, Brian says “hey, voice your frustrations with this mic instead.” All this time, we’ve wanted to take our vexation out on you physically, not verbally. Get outta here with that bs. I mean, let’s talk about Lannister specifically. The last three times you have competed on Showdown includes the time we cost you your shot to be in the Elimination Chamber when you faced HBG…haha good times. We did the same to you, Ares…that too was very good times. Then you faced me one on one, a match I was seconds away from winning until your girlfriend grabbed my dick. Yeah, not even a kick or a quick punch, but like a five second grab. But you didn’t care because I’ve already proven that you’re a cuck. Then last week we went at it a little bit and it ended with us standing tall, like I already mentioned, with our titles being back where they belong…in our possession. Do you not see what’s going on? WE ARE SLOWLY BUT SURELY RUINING YOUR LIFE…which is what I promised when you “beat” us at Territorial Invasion. Like I’ve said countless times, those titles are our everything. We aren’t ever going to move on until we get them back. We aren’t programmed like other elitists. They lose a title, they shrug it off and they go after another one. It’s all about accolades to them. All about becoming triple crown or grand slam champions. I don’t give a fuck. I just find it funny how every year it seems, EAW releases a video on their website and YouTube page where they ask the men and women of EAW what their goals are for the upcoming year. Last year it was mostly win world titles or the women’s championship or for the newer guys, to get on a FPV card or win their first title. Not once was winning the tag titles mentioned. Tune in to this year and now everybody wants them. You’re welcome EAW. You’re welcome for rejuvenating this dead ass division when nobody else would touch it with a ten foot pole. You’re welcome EAW for giving those titles prestige by main eventing Showdowns or main eventing a FPV and oh yeah, by putting on instant classics with the likes of RoViper and hell, even The Triumvirate. For the longest time, we were told that we were the disease that was infecting the rusting pile of rubble that was this division. Nah man, we were the knife that trimmed the fat. If it wasn’t for us, Matt Squared would probably still be tag champs because well, Lannister himself already proved he couldn’t stop them last year around this time. Or perhaps Nobi and Lioncross would have won those titles even though they didn’t deserve them. Even Lioncross said he just wanted to win a title in EAW before he hung up his boots. That’s right, any title. It didn’t matter which. Kind of a slap in the face to guys like Jack and myself who put these titles back on the map by giving everything we had to defend them, while the teams before us would just treat them as props or stepping stones and nothing more. 

Put yourself in my shoes. What am I supposed to say to the human filth that is The Triumvirate, that I haven’t before? Like I mentioned last week, the four of us are just going to rehash the same points we’ve made during these past several weeks leading up to this match. I’ll be called a mongrel probably five hundred times this week. Lannister will speak in riddles. And of course refer to himself in the third person. They’ll tell us that we don’t belong in the same ring as them. Even though they know deep down, in their heart of hearts, that match at TI could have gone either way. And that’s about it. Then I’ll try my best to scrap together some kind of retort where I debunk the same theories from our previous encounters. And oh yeah, this will most likely happen every single day this week and I apologize. It takes two to tango…or I guess four in this case? So I suppose this match is rare for us in the sense that since we’ve been a part of Showdown, we haven’t had many tag matches where we weren’t the tag team champions. And since we aren’t the champs, I guess we play the role of our past opponents, where they would just whine about complete and utter nonsense…including yourselves not too long ago. Allow me to clear my throat first…mmmk. Oh my god Ares and Lannister, your reign has been so lackluster. How dare you take advantage of such a week division. Back in the good ol’ days you would have suffered horrible fates against legit teams…yes, back in the good ol’ days when guys like Hurricane Hawk and Prince of Phenomenal were somehow world champs and now they’re…well, nothing. It sure was tough. Oh and now I’m supposed to blame this dead division on you because I guess that’s logical. 

Take my advice and enjoy those titles. Enjoy the fact that all three of The Triumvirate members hold gold at the same time because this weekend, that can and WILL change. When you think about it, taking those titles off of you would be a favor. Let’s face the facts, Ares Vendetta and Lannister don’t mix. You’re like orange juice and toothpaste. I’m sure you already knew this Ares, but you mean nothing to Lannister. It’s a revolving door when it comes to his partnerships. You’re just another Psycho Brody or Heart Break Gal and next year I’m sure he’ll be teaming with someone else. Besides, seeing Ares and Lannister stand side-by-side makes me sick. I’m sure the fans would agree as well. We don’t want to see you being all buddy-buddy. We want to watch you two rip each other part while we chow down on popcorn. I mean think about it, the two of you are too big for this division! A division that belongs to mongrels such as myself and Jack! Why lower yourselves to such scum like us? Gross. But I know that your time with those titles is just a pit stop in your illustrious careers. When your time comes to be inducted into the hall of fame, this reign won’t even be brought up. Why? Because those titles couldn’t mean less to you. You just use them as tools to help spread your message that The Triumvirate is this big well-oiled machine that can dominate a brand with a snap of a finger. There’s no doubt that on your own, in singles competition, you’re damn near unstoppable. But when it comes to tag team wrestling, we run this shit. Something you seem to have forgotten but don’t worry, at Road to Redemption you’ll get a refresher course. 

With all that said, the High Rollerz are about to do something that no other team in EAW history has ever done — and that’s become 3-time Unified Tag Team Champions...all happening in less than a year, too. Just the goat tag team doing goat things. Now back to Susan in the studio. 

Interviewer: Yep, back to you Susan. Wait who is Susan?  

(The camera fades to black. That’s right, the mystery of Susan will never be solved. This will eat away at you for the rest of your lives.)

Nothing noteworthy? Saving your ass isn't noteworthy? Dropping you where you stand when you kept sticking your nose where it doesn't belong isn't noteworthy? Let ask you something, if I was a guy who gave a fuck about what you or anyone else thought about me or my career, I'd be well, just like you honestly, another EAW elitist trying to standout when I'm as see through as anyone else around here. This is how you repay me? Okay Theron we get it, you've beaten me, okay, congratulations and you squandered that opportunity yet making excuses, that's why your soft, that's why your weak and that's why this match is not in your favor. You aren't a man who is capable of putting another man in his end, you are a man who is going to do just enough to scrape by, and that is not good enough. I saw it first fucking hand at Territorial Invasion, I was your guardian angel, I wasted time saving your stupid ass as you were handcuffed and gave you the key and my own weapon and you have nothing to show for it yet you are given hidden opportunities by Brian Daniels that come to the light after you win? I hate to think what would happen if Tiberius were to pin you and you lost, would Brian automatically cater to you and still put you in this match? The world may never know, it's obvious you have Brian's support, despite the fact that he's given me his barbwire baseball bat, I don't need his support, I don't need him, without the baseball bat I'm deadly, with the baseball bat I'm a fucking nuclear bomb in the hands of a loose cannon. You need this, I want this, I accept this, I look forward to this, god damn it Theron, I am this Extreme Elimination Chamber, I am what it's suppose to represent but what it represents now is spectacle, pomp and circumstance, entertainment. When it's suppose to represent survival and nobody knows about surviving through a mile of crap like Diamond Cage, I've done it my whole life, surviving no matter what kind of bullshit I am put through, it's suppose to represent tragedy, there's going to be casualties in this match, you'll walk in but will you walk out? So many factors in this match, and you need this? Why do you need it? Because you believe you were wronged? You believed you are entitled to it and it would have been on your shoulder had the Triumvirate not been formed? Had you gotten a straight championship match with Tiberius? You disgust me, your bravado and you being a naive little son of a bitch is the reason why you and this young crop, these “elitist” look at this as a time to show you could of fit in the old EAW. You have to expect to get screwed, you think shit is sweet because you have a cool name? A cool jacket, a theme song in which fans sing a long to when you make your entrance? Or a stupid fucking umbrella? The feeling of entitlement in EAW nowadays is cute, it's really cute, but you aren't the only one Theron. Rex, is another guy with entitlement in his heart, I won't even start with how he got into this match, that says a lot, another guy not willing to get his hands dirty but will play along, fresh from the mid-card, been having some wins and thinks now it's his time to move on up, this guy doesn't know me at all, “you don't have to kill Diamond Cage to necessarily beat him” well let me ask you something Rex, have you ever fought a man who has actually been EAW Champion in a match where he can do anything he wants to get that very same accolade  back? Have you fought a man who has lost absolutely everything imaginable to where he's willing to do things that are inhumane to another man and to himself to make sure he leaves with the EAW World Championship? I'm an indestructible machine because I'll fight, I'll go down but I won't stay down, I can't stay down, I lose my family I fight hard, I lose my career, I fight hard, I lose my championship and fall off the mountain, I fight tooth and fucking nail everyday of my life, I've had adversity, adversity that would break you because compared to me your a little boy in a man's world playing with stolen money that you can't even fucking count. I'll admit it, It takes a toll, going after it like I don't know when my end is coming takes it's toll, my back hurts, my neck, It hurts to get out of bed, but I do it, because this is what I do. This is who I am, I walk a narrow path while everyone walks the same fucking path, when everyone fades away and burns out who still remains? Diamond Cage. I'm not defeated from the start, you are because you are naive, you haven't even been in this Extreme Elimination Chamber, compared to my hands, your hands are pedicured, I look at your hands it represents your generation, soft, scared, picking your spots, I look at my hands and yeah there's a lot of blood on these hands and I've done a lot of things to a lot of men and women, compared to me Rex you know nothing about carrying this company, I'll give you your due though, you beat me, and I won't complain about Theron making himself a factor in our match because I'll have both of you in the chamber, I'll laugh last when I'm holding the EAW World Championship. 

You beat me in a match where it was mines to lose Rex, congratulations, but we both know that you don't have what it takes, you talk a big game, you talk like your so ready for this, but everyone is ready until they see the sight of the their own blood, until they are beaten to the point where their mind is telling them to quit. Tyson said everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth, well I say everyone thinks their going to be EAW Champion until they run into Diamond Cage, until they run into the last real shooter around here. I shoot to kill, I shoot my shot to put pain on those who are going to try and put pain on me, that is what I live for, I am a man who welcomes this war, I welcome you Rex and Theron to show me you aren't the  pussies I believe you to be, show me that this is your EAW and I'm in it taking up space. GET RID OF ME, PUT ME OUT OF MY FUCKING MISERY SO I DON'T HAVE TO KEEP SHOWING UP AT GRAND RAMPAGE! PUT ME DOWN FOR GOOD AND SHOW ME THAT I WAS DEFEATED BEFORE THE BELL EVEN RINGS!

 There's people who talk about it and there's those who don't have to say a word, my legacy says enough, but my legacy isn't coming with me inside that chamber, but hell is, I'm bringing hell with me and I'm going to put all of you through it, that's a promise, if I go down, I'm taking the entire chamber with me because my hunger to be the EAW World Champion has been increased, Tiberius walks around like his shit don't stink, everyone is building this match as “Tiberius and the Heart Break Gal” blah, blah, blah, Theron posing with the EAW Championship, Rex finally scratching the surface, everyone can label this match whatever they want to but at the end of the day I'm going to be the one talked about, I'm going to be the last man standing, I walk into the chamber the same way I walk out, I'll have something in my hands and damn it I'm walking out with something in my hands and if it isn't the EAW World Champion then I'm taking a piece of everyone in this match with me. Rex standing before you is a desperate man indeed, willing to do desperate things, but you want to know what I'll see standing before me? Another guy whose hype just doesn't fit, another guy who simply can't fuck with me when it comes to this violence, this destruction, this brutality. You are outmatched, you are outgunned, yet you talk like you know me? You don't know me let alone what your stepping inside of, you just are blinded by the words “EAW World Championship match” but oh you aren't just fighting me and everyone else in the chamber, you fight the chamber itself, you fight all of those who believe you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you being pimped by John Doe. You fight failing, you fight not knowing what it's like to be EAW Champion, you fight yourself, and you can't win a battle intuitively, that's why you have a chip on your shoulder, and me, I've always had a chip on my shoulder, I also have my heart on my shoulder, my thoughts and my emotions are usually very visible but I promise you that you won't read Diamond Cage come October 28th, but you'll experience what I've known all along, I'm a warrior, I'm an executioner, I'm everything bad with the world when I'm locked inside and the only thing I have to do is survive. I'm a desperate man who knows Rex, and you are a little boy whose lost, remember that. I simply ask, all of you, shoot to kill, please. Because if you aren't willing to end HBG's career because she's a woman then you won't win, if you aren't willing to wrap a chair around POP's neck you won't win, if you aren't willing to take punishment just to dish out your own, you won't win. If you aren't willing to go in that chamber and fight to the bitter end, you aren't going to win. I'm ready to do all of that and more, so to say is Diamond Cage ready for the Extreme Elimination Chamber? Dumb question, is the Extreme Elimination Chamber ready for Diamond Cage to step inside of it and burn it down to the ground leaving everyone in a pile of rubble as I reclaim the spot that I know I deserve? So many questions going into this match and we, the competitors have the answers. When that chamber of horrors is locked, we'll separate the sheep from the slaughterers. The weak from the obsolete, I enter this match knowing my end could be near, but I don't fear because this is everything I always wanted, a end fitting of a man like myself, it's either triumph or tragedy and I'm done doing shit for other people, this one right here is for me.

THE CHAMBER

The past few weeks have been nothing but an eye opener. For the longest time I have listened to this pitiful crowd that told me I have to play fair like the rest and handle my matches in an honorable way that would justify my future world title reign, and what did it cause? Nothing but heartache. Nothing but multiple defeats that put me two steps backward instead of a step forward. And the moment I stopped listening, well what do ya know, I scored a victory against Prince of Phenomenal, I have ensured that Tiberius Jones gets pushed down deeper in his grave like the bitchboy he is. I have made more progress of threatening his reign in a matter of weeks than I ever did in the past year upon signing a Showdown contract! And all this just goes to show that The Heart Break Gal is more than capable on her own to put names on her death-list and fulfill her promises. I mean, its better than wallowing about my close calls and almost-wins! It's better than every heart-wrenching defeat I've gone through while being forced to walk to the back of the line! This is not happening anymore. I cannot afford to have that mindset. The acceptance of defeat has stung me so many times than I can count since stepping in this brand. The Empire women treated me like an untouchable queen, but here I am nothing but a slave. I stand with the rest who falls in line in this waiting game while they plot the day they overthrow the names that would force open the gates to success. I have been pushed down on my knees by the Tiberius Jones and Rex McAllisters and the Prince of Phenomenals who continue to underestimate me just to ensure that they maintain their smug faces coming into a match. But not anymore. Not this time. I spoke highly of survival thinking that it was all that mattered and it was all I needed but this said waiting game surely has proven the horrifying truth that survival does not equate to control and it surely does not equate to being proclaimed a victor. In a matter of days, I have to throw away that mentality out the fucking window because the only way I can reign is if I tied a noose around the devil's neck and hang him to take his place. Physical pain is the last thing I fear. My body has endured so many beatings against multiple individuals, my skin has been burned on some occasions just to keep a title, glass shards has dug deep into my skin on more than one instances, so anything you can do to me in that chamber is the least of my concerns, I will keep rising up and I will keep fighting until all of you are picked apart and thrown away with nothing to show in the end.

This is it.  My ultimate fight. My career's make or break. My EAW Championship. It's been long overdue, it's about time I make history.

There is quite a miscommunication here, Rex McAllister, a big one that feels like you could lose your head for if you didn't try to understand. Then again, I can't say I'm surprised. Any complexity seems to be lost on you for you can only see what's on the surface instead of reading between the lines. Doesn't it make you question why I stand in the same ring with the exact same opportunity that you gave every effort to? Doesn't it concern you why, no matter how many times you scored a lucky victory over me, that I still stand at the top making more of a statement in my intentions on winning the EAW Championship than you ever could? It's because while you were comfortable sitting on your chair getting all the support and the help you could ever get from the likes of John Doe, I stand back up from the dirt of the rubble breaking into the next opportunity to be in the exact spot that I left in, and I did that alone. You stand here talking so highly about how you have played the game the right way when you had a shadow that did the dirty work for you while you took the convenient side of the bargain with nothing to lose. You have no fucking right to be angry at me costing you the EAW Championship when you never deserved that spot to begin with. If you act like a hypocritical, unoriginal garbage when approaching me, then expect that I treat you the way I do. Let me spell it out for you, Rex McAllister, this is about me and the mistake that you are making when you underestimate and ignore the facts that are thrown to your face. You walk out of Road To Redemption with gold on your shoulder scoring yet another bullshit win that you didn't deserve, do you think it would shake the arena? The crowd will see you for what you truly are when its all said and done, they will find that there is nothing that makes you special or feared, to the point that they question why you're even champion to begin with. They will know that you're just another bag of air with nothing more to give because his limitations were already proven when he declared that he needed help to defeat a fucking girl in a match. But I? I am already a name to be respected and admired, and the fact of the matter is, we can circle the ring forever with or without championships on the line and they will always see me as the better competitor not because of the things I have accomplished, but because of my already proven superiority and the idea that I seek to destroy those who oppose me even moreso without a helping hand. I am the vision of perfection, and there is nothing that you can say that will change that. You are not in any position to right any wrongs because nothing wrong has been done to begin with, and the idea that through the suffering and the agony, nothing can take away my confidence just makes you question if you have ever made me doubt my capabilities. After all, you and I are so different. I will speak of my victories a million times without fail. I will always be the one to put myself on a pedestal while everyone fear what will happen to their careers. I am not some lowly average joe like you who acknowledges any possible defeat every five seconds, I refuse to act like you and the rest who would rather save face in case of the chaos in the ring becoming too much to endure, and especially never those who disgustingly utter disclosures that they may get beaten down beyond repair, when another second, they brag about their never-failing physical strength. Oh, the irony. While you're out there making sense of your mediocrity, I stand here proving my worth, letting the world know that a person who came from The Land of Extreme where EAW itself was built on, is not afraid of any body-crushing, career-ending structure. I am not afraid of being cut or wounded, I live it. I am not scared of getting thrown onto the chained walls for I have endured that feeling more than once and it is what I look forward to... I will stand back up and get in that ring to finish the job while people like you cry and whine from a possibly infected boo-boo mid-match. Do you fucking see how you sound like to me, Rex? Sooner or later we have to acknowledge the idea of walking out empty handed, and I get that. But you're just on another fucking level. You sound like a fucking pansy who intends to play it safe in an environment where we all might end up in a hospital bed, are you even listening to yourself?

John Doe is not going to aid you. Your mother is not going to come for you. So grow the fuck up.

So what happens if the Heart Break Gal doesn't win? Well what the fuck does the Heart Break Gal ever do after every match? She prepares for the next one. I will win the EAW Unified Tag Team Championships and have yet another fruitful reign as I destroy every tag team in this company! And do you know what the funny thing is? That even after that fact I will still be lightyears ahead of you in the pursuit of the EAW Championship. Because it's how I operate, Rex McAllister, I always have an ammo, I always have true potential that can never be surpassed or imitated by people like you. Insecurities, fears, flaws -- what else do you have on me up your sleeve? You want to believe that you have my attention from stating buzzwords when in truth they are nothing but horrible attempts to throw me off and make me feel worthless. But Rex, you are forgetting one important thing -- long before anyone knew who and what you are, I have been numb to these pitiful weightless criticisms. You can ask just about anyone I have faced if they have seen me twitch by their idiotic accusations and half-baked theories... They will claim that it's their way to play mind games when they're only playing themselves, exactly like you're doing now. So desperate to make me feel threatened, so serious about making me listen when your words have been said by many other Jack, Mary, Sam that tried to get under my skin. But just like your feeble attempts before, they fail to work now. I am a superior athlete, Rex, it's beyond your understanding because you have been blinded by the roars of the crowd and the John Does that support you. One person tells you that you have potential and you were stupid enough to believe it.

But there is one tiny detail that you're right about, Rex. I have been a slave. Or at least, that's how it feels like, but not in the way you think. I have been dragged on the ground multiple times, I have been used as a stepping stone by insignificant wastes who want to better their name, I have been drowned, attacked and picked apart by sharks like you, John Doe, Lannister and Y2Impact... all because of who I am and the fact that I stand on forbidden territory. I reside in a land that I don't belong to. I am a threat to the norm and a challenge to everything you are accustomed to. But one thing will not change no matter how you try to crush my spirit -- I will fight back. I will take the EAW Championship. One win is all it takes to justify the bullshit I have gone through just to get to this moment, and that one win will be secured at Road to Redemption.

THE GRAND PRIX

Tell me I'm wrong to jump to conclusions, Finnegan Wakefield, but your stupidity insults me. Your every word disgusts me. Your existence makes me wish I was in a coma. Sometimes I think to myself why the Tag Team Division is in need of desperate help. The moment you present yourself is the moment I get my instant answer. It's times like these when I feel like my opponents are already forfeiting the match before it even started, but at the same time it makes me want to show up in the ring just to slap you in the face and put you back to the stream of reality so you know exactly who you're dealing with and why pansies like you have no place in this industry. Bound by Fate, they at least put up a fight, but you're just on another level of a little bitch. Where is the passion? Where is the intent? It's like all you want to do is to step in the ring and push Ironico to the middle of it, watch him get beat down and run off to the sunset like the moron you are. Any argument you have on Cameron already gave me a headache, I wonder what's in store for me? My love life? My career? Surely a bottom feeding lunatic like you will have a lot of items to go by while he makes himself believe that everyone is afraid of their history, you will keep mashing every point to our minds like any opinion you make should be taken to value. At least Cameron can hold a five star match when it actually counts. At least Cameron can jump from the womens division to the males division with no hindrance and limitations just like I have. A couple of folks thought you made a good joke once or twice and you think you can become a stand up comedian, that's not how talent works, Finn. We forged this alliance because we have trust in our strengths and not because we decided to act like a laughing stock which is what We Are The Bollocks have done everytime they utter their headache-inducing claims. We were making statements and giving our intentions to snatch away multiple Championships in one go, continuously proving our dominance and letting our presence known, and you're right there in your mothers basement beating off to incest porn because you have no real plans to motivate yourself and no goals to keep the path straight in the long run. You fucking disappoint me. I expected a better fight than this. I expected to face two people who are willing to go through hell and back just to win the Unified Tag Team Championships, and instead I get a parody version of the High Rollerz. But in some lengths, I do understand the feeling of facing Di Consentes, even the non believers are enveloped in fear, afraid of what's to come when a couple of laughing hyenas are forced to face two women who display main event performance in every type of match.  For Di Consentes doesn't only seek to win, they seek to dominate and overthrow. They seek to conquer. So I suggest you sit in your fucking corner and contemplate, bring your straw hat and your fanny pack and come back when you have something better to say, you lousy piece of shit.

Come and Get Your Love 





And what is the price for security, Brody? Hmm? This whole peace of mind you have going for yourself that separates you from me, where you feel confident in your own abilities and that you know for a fact that you can win? Is it hope? Arrogance? Nah, deep down, to its core, it’s putting down others as a means to justify your position. But what happens when that security is in questioned or doubted? Well, having served my time in the Army, let me tell you what security is. Security is me doing the shit work that not everyone is capable of doing so that people like you can feel safe and Haruna and Azumi can get married and adopt babies and shit because anywhere else in the world, there are bigger bullies that on a constant threaten the well-being of just about anybody. What is wrong with me giving people their just dessert? Because you don’t feel you deserve to have it bad? Is that what you are saying? My “see the world burn” mentality doesn’t apply to you because Brody fuckin’ Sparks is a saint? Nah girl. As I said, you aren’t the shining beacon of light you preach you are, because at the end of the day, in this business, you are only as good as the people you put down. Your security comes at the price of the misery of others. Their misery is your gain, and that is how I live by those rules, but rather than flat out admit how grim it is, I’m labeling it as “just for fun.” All so I don’t get that urge to go too far and kill. You’re welcome, by the way. You won’t hear me say that often or be as nice. At the end Brody, you are nothing more than a bully and your justification that I have the potential to be good and that I’m a horrible human being will only further inflat that big fat ego of yours, and I wish I can say there is enough time for you to take it back, but it’s far too late. You’re so far the deep-end that anything can cause it to pop and send you back down to the pit of despair until you get the strength to lie to yourself, get your shit together, and beat the living turd out of people. Granted, there is nothing wrong with that in this business, but atleast I have the decency to admit it, in which I’m going to just say, nope, I don’t care. I don’t care what you all think of me. I don’t give a shit if you all look down on me and can’t take me seriously as a contender. Eventually, this “new girl on the block” phase will end I wouldn’t be surprised if you all think of me the same in the next year or so. Why? Because you are all too self-centered and pretentious to worry about your own behind to see how truly fucked up the world is, and all I want to do is even up the score. The sad reality is, I can’t keep up with constantly winning and “being the best” but I certainly can bring people down to my level because what can I say, its hurts a lot more to fall than to fly. So you can just take that holier than thou attitude of yours and shove it straight up your ass like that purple dildo you used last year. Maybe if you clench your ass and bite down, it won’t hurt as much when I end you in the Chamber match.  Safe word is “Revy.”
 
And Azumi. Can’t keep up with the trash talk, I assume? English not good enough for that? This is America, damn it, speak proper English and throw in a couple of “cunts,” “bitches,” “fuck,” “pussies.” Anything. Hell, you know what? I’ll bring a you a book of how to smack talk in the Elimination Chamber just so I can smack you right in the face. Read between the lines. Ha! See what I did there. But seriously, I don’t need to go through all this again when what I said to Brody is just as relevant with each and every single one of you girls. However, unlike you, Brody actually has the proper excuse of confidences by of “security” by actually beating her opponents, where once again, you really shouldn’t. Like what is with you Asians that give people like me a bad name. I mean, look at you, dressed like you’re still wrestling in Japan like you’re proud of your background and heritage. But let’s be serious here, they don’t want any frickin association with you. You’re not even the best Asian on Empire, let alone the Ace of the women’s division. April Song is a better Asian. Stephanie Matsuda is the better Asian. Haruna is the better Asian. And with how ridiculously stupid and kawaii Savannah Sunshine is, she is a better Asian than you are. You bring dishonor to your family and people. You keep coming up short and empty handed and you dare to speak with such arrogance-aru. But dishonor on you, Dishonor on your waifu-aru! Yes, that was the second Mulan joke I made this month you should take is exactly by the context of the original quote-aru! But chances are, you aren’t even Asian enough to have seen it, so I just called your wife a cow-aru! God, it sucks when you have to explain the joke. And this is your fault, Azumi. Because you clearly can’t keep up with the rest that is going on. Seriously, I was so afraid that by admitting that I would struggle keeping up with this Extreme Elimination Chamber match, that I’d be bunched up with both you and Haruna, because guess what, dear? You both can’t keep up either, and you both best hope that the power of friendship can over come the odds and you both luck out and walk out the champ. But which one? Well, since you say it’s you, I suppose that means poor little Haruna will have to take the L just so your dreams can come true. What a horrible husband you turned out ot be-aru? But hey, I did say let this Extreme Elimination Chamber bring out the worse of us, and Azumi, you are most certainly showing it.
 
And Aria, did I tell you to fuckin mentor me? You’re not my mother, father, sergeant, the president, my psychiatrist, brothers, Tarah Nova, or DEDEDE? And chances are, I don’t even listen to them. Keep your opinion of what I could be to yourself and don’t pamper me like I need to be told to keep calm and win titles. I’m not fuckin’ Savannah Sunshine that you can just pat on her head and she’ll be like “I’ll never wash my hair again.” I’d rather be put in a room filled with tear gas than let you pull the crap on me. But I get it. I get it. As the world champion, you feel obligated to be the leader of the locker room. The inspiration to what we should all step up to and try to be. But spoiler alert, if I was champ, I’d still be drinking and tell everyone to fuck off. Trust me. If there is a sense of urgency in this Extreme Elimination Chamber, it’s that Revy should not be the EAW Women’s Champion because she will make things, well, a lot more worse. It’s what I do. It’s what I take pride in. It’s what seperates me from the other girls like Brody where they have built themselves so damn high, the moment they fall, it hurts, where for me, I’m like a mold of clay. Can’t build me up, but can’t break me down either. This lack of ambition, lack of purpose, and conviction, has allowed me to survive for so long that I don’t go into horrible situation thinking I’ll win. I go into every situation knowing everyone loses but I can always lose a little less. Isn’t that what war really is? Because once on the battle field, people die and those lives can’t be taken back as you said. People can’t take back the things I’ve seen and done, but the bright side of thing is, I’m alive, isn’t it? Bullshit. Living is one thing, but sharing it with others is another thing. To say I don’t care isn’t necessarily true. I believe Sharing is caring, and in this instance, I care too much. I want to share the misery I’ve been through, and what better way to let out that frustration and on tv and get paid for it than Thursday night Empire, where crazy bitches go at each other others throat for a belt. But wait, there’s more! Pay more to order Road to Redemption and watch as 6 crazy bitches step into a chamber with weapons at hand and beat the shit out of each other for the same belt. You keep acting like this is all honorable and neat, and as a veteran of war, that seems to be all people can talk about me and how I “survived.” But no one gets down to the nitty gritty of the harsh reality of the situation that this is frickin entertainment and while sure, the fans want to see someone succeed, both some of your more cynical fans, such as myself, simply want to see others fail. Me winning the title is just icing on the cake to see 5 other women fall, and if one of them is Aria Jaxon, who am I to complain? Am I right? So please, keep that constant talk about how “blah blah blah, Revy can be this” or “blah blah blah, Revy is just like Brody” and shut the fuck up. The only thing I want to hear from you is that you won’t underestimate me and you will give me your all as if I was Azumi Goto or Brody Sparks. You think I might not be ready for it, but when on the field, they just throw you out there and you dig deep into that part of you that would do anything to live and just do it. And what a better test of that than being locked in a cage with 5 other hungry animals all aiming for the same piece of meat, and without my guns in my hand, that only makes things more interesting. Trust me, I’m getting used to using “these guns” and I’ve learned to appreciate them more in a sense that is not as quick and clean as a bullet to the head. You can savior the moment and really let that taste of power in overwhelming your opponent take over you. And I want more of it.
 
So please, ladies. I’m ready for this chamber match. I’m ready for it all. I’m ready for Brody. I’m ready for the Champ. I’m ready for little Miss Sunshine, and the commentators making all the racist and horrible Asian jokes. What do I have to do for you all to let you all know I’m ready? Run around the locker room prancing around and singing “I’m Ready” like I’m fuckin Spongebob? I got this. I’ll do my own shit, and you all do your own, and we’ll see how it ends up. If I lose, no biggie. Probably expected. But if I win, how hilarious would that shit be because of all the experience, arrogance, and wholesome feeling-ness going around, and the worse of the bunch takes it all. Hahahahahahaha. Just imagining it. And not even just me winning, what if Azumi, no…. Haruna wins? Like what the fuck? How?!! When you had Aria Jaxon and Brody Spark. Wait? What with Sunshine wins? No, End it. That isn’t as funny, especially if I have to watch her more on tv. But if Aria and Brody loses. O.M.G., my side hurts, I might not make it to the Chamber match at this point. But yeah, I really want to see Aria and Brody lose.
 
Clears throat and settles down
 

I look forward to have this match, “Mentor.” Not that I’ll need a lesson on how to take ‘L’s’ but hey, a good mentor teaches their student everything, both the best and the worse. It’s going to be hard to give that talk, but luckily for you, Aria, I don’t think your mentally as fragile as the other girls and can nut up and take the ‘L’ like the champ you are. 

You probably think this promo is about you. In a way, it is, in a way it isn’t. When I became number one contender, you weren't the first person I thought about. Hell, you weren't even the second. Winning this match is a means to an end, and you’re in my way, Ryan Marx. I may be a sacrifice to your ascension, but you’re the giant boulder in the middle of my road to glory. There some things even bigger than you, sweets. My path has diverged after Empress of Elite. I’m taking the scenic route, looking out the window at pastures left unexplored. The ironic thing is I’m just twelve seconds away from meeting the Women’s Champion in the ring. Four pinfalls, four sets of three seconds. It’ll take three seconds to end your whole world Ryan Marx. Those Five Pillars will come crashing down as I become the physical manifestation of vengeance! This match is your Sodom and Gomorrah. You’re probably sitting back, smiling at this, and claiming you’ve already won. Here is Stephanie Matsuda aka The Sacrifice bearing her little Blasian soul to the world. Bearing my soul to the citizens of Cloud City is what I do best. I am the War Queen of my little warparty of followers. They inspire me to reach further and fight harder than ever before! This is not the story of your rise to power - this is a tale of my road to redemption.

(Stephanie is seen sitting in the locker room of her gym)

Then again, you probably think this promo is about you. 

Yes, and no. This promo is also about Miss Manami who you released from that sarcophagus bloody and beaten. What you did to my mentor did was beyond disrespectful. Not just to me, but to the entirety of women’s wrestling. Maybe that was the message you were trying to send - that you don’t respect us. Or maybe the message was for me - a punishment for the sins committed against The Zeitgeist. If so, I’ll bear that burden. I’ve sinned before and I’m likely to do it again. That’s human nature after all. Manami-sensei taught me a lot about how this business works including how to deal with assholes like you. For two weeks straight I had your number. Everywhere you turn a Final Heaven was headed straight for your face. I am not one to be trifled with Marx! You think you’re in control, but Manami and I already predicted that you would come after her. That’s why she egged you on last week! It took you AND your cronies to take her out! If you couldn’t handle my master on your own then how the hell you think you’re going to fare against me!? I’m in my prime sweets, and I’m going to stop at NOTHING to make sure your heavyweight aspirations dreams go up in dust! You must ask yourself - ‘why is Stephanie Matsuda so consumed with my misfortune?’ To answer that I’ll have to bring up your wife.

Yes, Marx, this promo isn’t just about you.

It’s also about Soledad, your ever so faithful follower. Keep in mind that it was she who called me out. She posted the notice on EAW.com, likely at your request. She’s a beautiful little lemming who would follow you to the ends of the earth. (laughs) I was once like that. I was engaged to a man who thought very highly of himself. He worked night in and out to hone his craft in the ring. He was the last student of my first teacher and the heir apparent to the New York wrestling scene. He threw that down the drain when he killed the man who was like a father to him in the middle of the ring. He too was someone who sought glory any way he can. When we last saw each other, I asked him if it was worth it. I didn’t give him a chance to answer.

(Stephanie stands and walks out the locker room to her gym’s ring area)

I tried to reach out to Soledad, to show her that I was once like her. My fiancee and any other man I dated in this business were just as vain as Ryan Marx. Maybe that’s why I prefer the company of women nowadays (shrugs). Unfortunately, she chooses to stay loyal to you, so I’m going to treat her like I would treat you. She is an enemy, and I will do whatever it takes to bring her down.

(Stephanie shows her hand. Every nail is painted blue except for her ring finger)

I allowed Eddie King to do horrible things to myself and the people around me. I don’t open up about this part of my life often, but I decided to make an exception for you Marx. This is the where the promo is about you. I’m going to hurt you, Ryan Marx. Not just physically; when I’m done with you, your ego will be bruised beyond repair. Your followers will see you for the fraud you are. You claim that I hide behind the shadows of others, allowing myself to be a stepping stone? From where I’m standing, I’m not the one who needs the universe follow me dressed in black hoods. You crave attention to the point where you freak out when you’re left alone for too long. You demand the presence of Soledad because deep down, you hate yourself. You know you’re a monster and there’s a part of you that can’t live with that. You use Soledad as an echo chamber to hear what you want to hear, NOT what you need to hear. You surround yourself with yes men, not thinkers. Everyone in my life knows who they are Ryan. They are thinkers and champions. They are go-getters who can hold their own. My mother figure is a widow with two children who works her ass off saving lives as a nurse. Her oldest daughter is one of the hardest working female wrestlers on the indy scene. Her youngest looked darkness in the eye and stood tall. My best friend is the number one woman’s wrestler in the world. My newest friend is the general manager of Empire. My allies are the veterans of the game in the form of wrestlers, managers, and trainers. Maybe you’re jealous of my support system. Maybe deep down inside you wish people respect you like they do me. Your followers believe in you because they lack the courage to believe in themselves. You are their cheat code, Marx. You don’t provide dreams - you crush them with your selfishness. I can’t allow that, sweets. I can’t allow you to ruin what it means to be a true champion. 

(Stephanie climbs into the ring)

I was made to fight evil men like you. I didn’t believe at first - but I had to be one with the darkness to understand it. Some people say I’m the only one from Empire who can beat you. I can see why - this is not just about overcoming your foe physically. This mindset is about knowing and understanding the beast. You are the beast that will be put to rest. I see you, Ryan Marx. I know how you think. You want to be the special snowflake who thinks they’re beyond EAW.  Sheridan and Cailin thought they were above EAW. Where are they, Marx? Tell me, where did they go?

(The camera zooms closely on Stephanie’s face)

WHERE ARE THEY RYAN MARX!? WHERE THE F--K ARE THEY!?

(The camera zooms away as Stephanie calms down)

Nowhere to be found. Just like you next week. I’m not only a winner these days - I’m a career ender. You don’t belong here anymore, and I’m going to make it my sole mission that I pin you with my boot on your throat. Your wife wants you to end my life? Remember sweets; we’re exempt from murder charges in that ring. Maybe I forfeit my chances and just stab you in the heart with my katana (shrugs). If you want to take it there, I’ll take it there. I’ll be that BITCH who will whoop your ASS! 

You’re so vain, Ryan. You think this match is about you. That’s how you will lose. You will go in there as if it’s any other Saturday night. Your refusal to acknowledge me as a worthy competitor will cost you your belt. To you, I’m just a sacrifice. But to the EAW Universe, to my friends and family, and most of all to MYSELF I’m so much more. I’m the War Queen of EAW. I’m the mentor of the new generation. I’m the future EAW Openweight Champion. But most of all, I’m the bitch that will whoop your ass. Now THAT was about you. You can treat me like I was born yesterday, but I’ve been up all night.

Stay woke.

[Things did not go so well for the self-proclaimed “Champion of Life” as his title challenge on Voltage ended in defeat as he, in a distracted, foolish folly, attempted to taunt Jamie O’Hara and Keelan Centinich which allowed Amadeus to rally and retain the Interwire Championship belt. The brawl that ensued afterwards left a few minor bumps and bruises, but as he screams and trashes his private locker room, it appears that his ego (and pocket book) are hurting much more than he is physically.]
 
(Carlos is shown pacing around the locker room, still in his gear as he randomly kicks the crap out of things. Tables, chairs, locker stalls, innocent bystanders. Whatever.)


Carlos: THIS IS NOT FAIR! I HAD THAT SON OF A BITCH BEATEN! IT WAS OVER! JAMIE O’HARA AND KEELAN CONSPIRED AGAINST ME! THEY TOOK THEIR SEATS IN AN EFFORT TO DISTRACT ME! EVERYONE KNOWS ITS TRUE! AMADEUS WAS IN ON IT TOO, THEY ALL DON’T WANT TO SEE A CHAMPION OF LIFE SUCCEED, DAMN IT! IT’S NOT FAIR! I HAD A PARADE PLANNED! I! HAD! A! FUCKING! PARADE! PLANNED! THIS IS RIDICULOUS! THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING! ITS NOT FAIR TO CARLOS ROSSO, DAMN IT! ITS NOT FAIR TO THE MAN WITH FLAIR!




(Carlos continues to sulk in the locker room, angrily kicking and throwing things like a petulant child even as his manager Mao and an interviewer arrive.)


Interviewer: Carlos, this was a tough setback tonight….


Carlos: No, NO NO! THIS ISNT A FUCKING SETBACK! FAILING SOME GEOGRAPHY TEST IN COLLEGE IS A SETBACK! GETTING A SPEEDING TICKET IS A SETBACK! FINDING OUT THE BITCH YOU SLEPT WITH HAD A VENERIAL DISEASE IS A SETBACK! THIS…. WHAT HAPPENED TONIGHT…. ITS NOT A SETBACK! IT’S A TRAVESTY! IT’S A CONSPIRACY! THESE FIVE MEN AND I USE THE TERM TO DESCRIBE THESE INDIVIDUALS VERY LOOSELY, WERE IN CAHOOTS FROM BEGINNING! THEY WERE AFRAID, ANGRY, THAT AN INSPIRATIONAL AMERICAN HERO, A BONA-FIDE CHAMPION OF LIFE LIKE MYSELF WAS GETTING AIR TIME! THEY HATE ME FOR IT, MAN! YOU KNOW THEY DO! ITS FUCKING RIDICULOUS!


Interviewer: Even though you didn’t win the title, you escaped any serious injury tonight while it looks like Lars Grier and Jamie O’Hara may be seriously injured. Does that make it feel any better for you that the EAW Championship, a title that you have desperately pursued for years, may get that much closer to being yours?


Carlos: Look…I don’t care about who’s injured and who’s on a roll and whatever. I just had to CANCEL a parade in one of my home towns that I paid out of pocket for! I was planning on spending nearly half a million dollars on this glorious event and THOSE BASTARDS RUINED IT! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT COSTS TO BOOK A FUCKING COLLEGIATE MARCHING BAND!? ITS NOT CHEAP! I had fireworks, show ponies for the kids, a riverboat complete with casino and bars all on standby and I had to CANCEL! MY GLORIOUS CELEBRATION RUNIED BECAUSE PEOPLE CAN’T STAY IN THEIR OWN LANE!


Interviewer: But….


Carlos: I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT COME TO VOLTAGE TO HELP SAVE IT! YOU KNOW THE RATINGS WERE IN THE TOILET BEFORE I GOT HERE, RIGHT?! LOOK AT THEM NOW! PEOPLE TUNE IN TO SEE ME AND ALL THESE YOUNG DUDES HATE IT! But that’s okay. That’s fine, In the elimination chamber, they’re all gonna be there. I have them all there, assembled and ready for destruction at my hands. One by one, I’m gonna get even with all those motherfuckers…ESPECIALLY YOU, JAMIE!


Interviewer: But….


Carlos: B-B-B-BUT WHAT!? OUT WITH IT!


Interviewer: No one intervened in your match this week….and, despite your intentions, you have been the one harassing the members of the Voltage Roster since you’ve returned. You assaulted Keelan and his girlfriend, mocked Lars, assaulted Amadeus for no reason, called out the World Champion and belittled one of EAW’s fast-rising stars, TLA, another former Interwire Champion.


(As the reporter says all of this, Carlos looks over at her with a puzzled, indignant expression as if everything being said is the most horrible comment ever uttered.)


Carlos: What’s wrong with you? Really? You think that I’ve done all those things? That’s false, absolutely false. First off, Madison attacked ME. SHE STRUCK ME! And I defended myself. Do I regret it? Absolutely. I don’t think a man of my stature should belittle himself by hitting women, but I lost my cool. And I didn’t attack Keelan as maliciously as you claimed. See, this is all the rage in the media today, isn’t it? You take one or two isolated incidents and make it seem like I was trying to end his career. I barely have even touched this man and you people are trying to exaggerate what happened. Same thing with TLA and Lars. I am trying to pass on the secrets of wrestling and personal success to a new generation of wrestlers, that’s all! Everything that I say and do is a means to that end! I want EVERYONE in EAW to be a champion of life like I am! And as for O’Hara, I have called him out. Not in a derogatory or malicious fashion, but one on one…man to man. In respectful combat. And then I would snap his spine. I am the most self-sacrificing, honorable human being ever to grace a Voltage ring. But no, you and your media with your alternative facts and instigative reporting. It’s insulting!


Interviewer: It was well known how much you wanted to retake the Interwire Championship, but now since you’ve failed-


(Mao’s eyes open wide as Carlos stares down the reporter. She immediately steps in between the two of them.)


Carlos: Fail?! FAIL!? FAAAAAIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!? FUCK NO! I DIDN’T FAIL! VOLTAGE FAILED ME! THEY FAILED! I DIDN’T FAIL!


Interviewer: Very well, as you see it, you didn’t fail. So…with the Interwire Championship belt not in your possession, do you think you’ve lost any momentum?


Carlos: No. I have not lost momentum. I have been preparing for this moment for months. I have been gearing all my efforts towards Road to Redemption and next Saturday, you’re going to see why. I will show the entire world my true strength and I will once and for all silence the doubters and naysayers like you and all the ignorant, self-indulgent media around us. Now if you will excuse me and Mao, I have to get cleaned up and prepare to leave for Minneapolis. NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BEFORE MY FOOT CONNECTS WITH YOUR ASS!
 
(Carlos shoos the reporter off and goes to shower, calming down considerably after his defeat, the brawl and the tense encounter with the news reporter. After paying a fairly hefty bill for the locker room damages, he and Mao leave in Mao’s favorite car: a vintage yellow convertible. The drive to the hotel is a silent one for most of the way until Mao finally decides to speak.)
 
Mao: One thing I really need to know, Carlos. Did you come back to collect a check or did you come back to actually do something special for yourself and the Zaibatsu, hmm?


Carlos: What the hell are you on about? Of course, I came back to get to this point! I spent nearly a year rehabbing and resting to prepare for this Chamber!


Mao: Then why is it that you have been dragging your ass in the ring then? Look, you’re the wrestler, not me, but I know a pattern when I see it. Never mind you picking fights, that’s something you’ve always done. But something that I notice that you do that worries me…. You’re not finishing up when you have someone beat. In the past few months you’ve had Keelan, Lars and Amadeus all on the ropes in various matches and you stopped to try to do some showboating or rub their noses in it. Hubris....


Carlos: But…. I made it into the chamber though, despite all of that.


Mao: Only because you being the most despicable and disliked human being on earth made you an easy insert for Kenny. He didn’t put you in this match to have a chance at winning, he put you in there because he thinks you’re going to get fucking destroyed. You remember what he said when he gave you that last spot, don’t you?


Carlos: I remember.


Mao: Look, you’re a great wrestler, I know you have plenty left in the tank and I know that you have so much to offer not only as a champion but just being in EAW. You have all the ability to live up to this spot, Carlos. Just use it, will you? Just use it.


Carlos: You know I have not had that much luck in an elimination chamber. But…. I just gotta ask you one thing though, is the insurance policy I asked for ready?


(Mao tilts her head for a moment to glance in his direction before quickly turning back to the road.)


Mao: Insurance policy? Think you’re going to die or something? OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…. Wait, I remember now. We talked about this a while back. It will be ready for RTR. Don’t worry. Everything’s being taken care of and it will be ready for you, my friend.


Carlos: Good….so, what are we going to do now that you’re here?


Mao: We’re going to go eat, in a little while though. First…. I think we need to stop by the gym. Ever since I let you run around on your own, you’ve been acting a little sloppy in the ring. I’ve arranged a little sparring session to get your head out of your ass.


Carlos: My head….out of my ass?


Mao: Yeah. Not that you’re not trying or anything, but lately I think you’ve been toying around a little too much. Oh, and that stunt with the company jet did it. I wasn’t going to just sit back and let you self-destruct after everything that WE worked hard for to put into motion blow up in our faces. You’re too good and I’m too good. Plus, with Anthony Leonhart retiring, you and Cloudy need to be strong. That’s the only way my dream of getting the Zaibatsu to flourish is going to work. She’s ready for her title match, she’s focused. I have no doubt she’ll get the job done. YOU though, I’m actually worried about.


Carlos:


Mao: Don’t get all emo on me. You know what I mean. I know this match has a lot of personal stake for you. That’s why I came out here. I want to make sure you keep focused instead of just wandering around, left to your own devices. I can’t obviously work you to exhaustion because you have a fucking Elimination Chamber coming up, but I can keep you from doing stupid things. By the way, this week, 10 PM curfew, no alcohol, no sex, not even masturbation.


Carlos: WAIT…HOLD UP! WHAT ARE YOU, A FUCKING MOM NOW!?


Mao: I’m your manager. And I have power of attorney over your affairs. And if you don’t listen to me, I’ll beat your ass myself…. or just call your mom.


Carlos: Wait…. that’s not necessary. You don’t have to.


Mao: Good. Now that that’s settled, let’s head over to the gym. You’re in good enough shape, but I want your mind in wrestling shape. I don’t want you concentrating on other things or looking good for the cameras. I want you to concentrate on winning fucking matches. That’s something we’re about to snap you out of once and for all…….
 
 
You know something, Voltage is in a very interesting spot right now, isn’t it? For weeks and months, maybe even a year, I have plotted for everything to go as it has. Some disappointing results in singles matches have made things a little more difficult than I would have liked, but here I stand, heading into the elimination chamber. This is the place where some of the most disappointing results of my career have happened. Inside this very structure, I lost my CWF World Heavyweight Championship after a long reign. I also have faced disappointment here in EAW inside this pantheon of steel and glass. Does that make me feel concerned? Not really. Because past results are simply that, past results. This isn’t a fight to settle old scores for me, this is a fight dealing with the future of not only myself, the Champion of Life, but for the future of Voltage itself.


Five men stand in the way of me fulfilling the purpose of my comeback. Five men who I am familiar with on various levels. Five men who I will have to put down to reach the ultimate goal. It’s strange though. These were NOT the five men that I had in mind when I was rehabbing my injury. Well, one of them was, but I’ll get to that in just a little while. My body was so beaten up from years of battle, it was a no-brainer that I had to take time away from the sport after Pain for Pride a couple of years ago. Aren and Victor gave me a rigorous, glorious battle and even though I still see bits and pieces of that match in my nightmares, I can’t say that a rightful winner wasn’t made that night. It took two of the best in the world from keeping me from fulfilling my dream of unifying the CWF and EAW Championships. Even though the competitor in me is disgusted by that thought that I came up short, the human being in me can let that go. Back to what I was saying though, I was working out preparing for the likes of Nasir Moore, the aforementioned Aren, Pizza Boy, and others. I returned to the world and returned to a very different place.


Keelan Cetinich is one of the new breeds that I am fascinated by. Even though he’s won at every encounter that we’ve had in the ring officially, he still carries himself like this misfit that has something to prove. I don’t know whether to find that sort of thinking stupid or amusing yet, I haven’t quite decided. He has won matches of importance, as everyone in the Chamber this year has at some point in their career, but he is one of those that has the most to prove. He has been fancied by himself and the ignorant Voltage contingent of the “EAW Universe” that he is the one to dethrone Jamie O’Hara. That he is the one to end the reign of terrifying boredom that we have going today. That’s a lot of pressure for someone who has not quite lived up to the hype given. I have gotten in the ring with Keelan and honestly, I’m not quite as impressed as most of the rest of you are. Yes, he won the tag team match at Territorial invasion and yes, he defeated me in the deathmatch, but if you look closer at those matches…you would notice that he was dominated physically in both of them. I was the superior man in skill and strategy, but dumb luck and admittedly a little bit of showboating cost me. While I have only myself to blame for those incidents, does he really think that in his heart of hearts that he is superior? Does he really believe that I am not worthy of seeing his true potential? If that is the case, then I’m actually quite thrilled. It would make me feel even more comfortable going into such a hostile environment if someone doesn’t think I’m worth the time or effort. That’s great news to hear. Why? Because I know that they can be had. That they can be guilty of the same offenses that I have racked up. That their own self confidence can lead to their downfall. Please, please remain blissfully unaware of what awaits you, Keelan. Fighting a madman in a deathmatch is one thing, but walking into a cage with a wounded tiger is quite another.


Speaking of the working wounded, Lars, it’s a pleasure for you to join us. I saw you doing your best Crow impression the other week, watching us from the rafters, looking like some vigilante stalking his prey. I do applaud your action of spearing Jamie through a Luxury Box! Bravo. I had never seen anything quite like that and after being under contract off and on in EAW for about a decade, you’d think you have seen everything. That was quite the show. But I do have to wonder, how healthy are you going to be going into the Chamber, friend? You probably took a few life points from Jaime, sure, and that is universally appreciated I’m sure from the other four challengers on some level or another, but was it really worth it? I saw how you guys landed and it didn’t look all that pleasurable to be honest. Are you going to be in position to capitalize on this big opportunity that you and Keelan successfully conspired to rip from my grasp? I don’t know. To save you the suspense, I’ll tell you here and now that I don’t care if you’re healthy. Even though I’ve had the pleasure of spiking your stubborn skull into the mat and pinning you, You and that damn Ravenbeak have been a thorn in my side, literally, since I’ve returned. Now I have you, locked in a cage with myself. Or a series of cages. Or chambers. Or whatever it is they refer to the Chamber as in nickname form. Anyway, the Elimination Chamber is the last place you want to venture injured, little birdie. I don’t know if you’re aware of all the pain and suffering and anguish awaiting you, but doing that kind of stunt like you did this week is some kind of stupid going into it. People can look at my loss to Amadeus and laugh but I go into that match in a much better physical condition because I didn’t do stupid things like what you did. When the Chamber is over, you’ll wish that you had just stayed in the rafters, watching everyone else fight. I smell blood and like the carnivore I am I will rip you to shreds and extract wholesale revenge for all the annoyance that you have caused me over the last few weeks.


And now we have TLA. TLA, we have known each other for some time. Of all the people that are in this match, I actually have the most respect for you. Whether that respect is reciprocated is not something that a Champion of Life such as myself has any concern over. People may not want to admit it, but they know in their hearts that you should be the Champion at this moment. You were robbed, and I have to say that it sickens me that Jamie beats his chest about beating you when it took such an elaborate ruse just to keep you from the belt. Unfortunately for you, that’s where my sympathy for your plight ends. You’re in the chamber now, and I’m in there too. You must deal with me just as the rest of the other individuals involved will have to. While I think that one day you’ll actually be a good champion, that day ain’t coming along while I’m on Voltage. You are good, but I have always been better. You are one of the most underappreciated talents of your generation, but I am the most disrespected, reviled talent that has ever set foot in EAW. Every day I have people coming up to me saying that I’m some sort of disgrace or some bad guy just because a long time ago I told some idiots who were killing themselves that Chairs Were for Sitting. I tried to bring order and class to the classless and they hated me for it. It’s like you baked a wonderful cake for someone and then they tried to throw it at you instead of enjoying it. While I am a little annoyed that you took it upon yourself to put your hands on me, I can’t say that I wouldn’t have done the exact same thing.


I don’t really have any truck with you, though. While I’m irritated at the fact that you think people hate me when that is obviously not true, you are not one of the bad ones. You’re one of the good ones. You are a good hombre. But the problem that you have is that as good as you are, my personal gain outweighs any respect or decency I have towards you. I have spent two long, rehab-filled years plotting for this very day and I’m not going to allow you to take advantage and take that belt from O’Hara. Honestly, I have plenty of other, more annoying fish to fry first but if you’re still around at the end, you should expect no quarter. I have prided myself on being the most complete wrestler in the world and if you’re the last man across from me or the first, you’ll find out why. My advice to you would use what energies you have to take on Jamie, prove to the world what I already know, that you can beat him. That is going to be the only highlight for you career that you will get in Minnesota. Because if you come at me, you’re not only going to end up out of the chamber, you will end up in a hospital bed nursing injury. That’s not a threat, it’s just the reality of the situation.


And of course, there is the Interwire Champion, Amadeus. You won. You kept your championship. Congratulations. But you also know just a little bit of what awaits you in the Chamber now. You survived the Southern Lariat and for that I have to say that my respect for you goes up quite considerably. But the problem that you have now is that I have had a chance to study you. I know what you’re capable of, while I still have a few tricks that you didn’t see. In fact, the only reason you are still holding the Interwire Championship was the conspiracy portrayed by Jamie and Keelan. If they weren’t in the arena, you wouldn’t be walking into the stadium as the Interwire Championship holder. Maybe another time will come where I have a lot less on the brain and take the title from you, but for now I will settle with making sure that you don’t leave the Chamber a double champion. You kept your word when it came to keeping your championship but know this: I intend to keep mine now. You will NOT leave Minnesota as the Champion, and I will see to it personally if necessary.


You know how you got to be on this personal shit list of mine though? Not for beating me. Not for keeping your title. But you cost me a considerable amount of money. PARADES ARE NOT CHEAP TO FUND, YOU UNCULTURED MOTHERFUCKER! And now, since I have to find a way to recoup some funds, I will make sure to beat you to a pulp and take whatever paydays you have coming. I take losing money and losing a chance to celebrate with adoring fans personally, and now that you’ve gotten a taste of what I have to offer, I think it’s high time you got the full, uncensored, completely focused, extremely angry Carlos Rosso Experience. You will not feel the same way about your victory on Voltage when you experience a cold, vicious, punishing defeat at my hands. It will be efficient. It will be without distraction. And it will be epic.


And that leaves only one person left, doesn’t it? In all my years of wrestling, I never thought that I would have a chance to exorcise this particular demon, but here it is. Jamie, you have no idea how long that I have waited for this day. Ever since you pushed me off a ladder, your career has ascended into the heavens. Championships, the Hall of Fame, a girlfriend with fake tits. You deserve them all, especially the fake tits. You are without a doubt the greatest wrestler of your generation. I say that with a bit of begrudging respect. I was able to pull myself from the floor and go about trying to be your equal, but it just never quite worked out. Fluke losses here and there, a loss at Pain for Pride, and injuries that took me months upon months to rehab from. My time since you have been such a dominant force has not been a good one.


But, it’s all past. It’s a past that I acknowledge and understand, but it’s past. My concerns are the present and the future. The present is we are two men that are going to be locked in one of the most infamous structures in wrestling history. The present is that you are the champion and I am not. The present is exactly where I wanted to be. A lot of things can be said about me, and knowing you, you will say many of them, but one thing that no one can say is that I don’t overcome adversity. I had countless surgeries to my neck and knees, but I have still returned. I was embarrassed by Nasir Moore, but I have battled back and honestly should be the Interwire Champion right now. I have suffered setback after setback after setback after setback after setback even since returning to Voltage as a full-time competitor, but here I stand on the cusp of the signature win of my career. Do I expect it to be easy? Nope.


I never expected that I would be in this ironic position. Your career, it took off in a direct correlation where injuries started to hamper mine. I have not forgotten how you celebrated as I looked on helpless. I haven’t forgotten that sinking feeling in my stomach as I watched you pick up accolade after accolade. Even as I made my charge towards a world championship, in the back of my mind I starved for another chance at you. Between you and Aren, I had all the motivation I needed to come back to the ring. I have money. I have won quite a lot in the wrestling world. I’ve had a decent enough career in EAW. But I still want more. People may question my mental health and that’s fine, but I hope that no one will question the fact that I am extremely motivated for this match and you are the number one reason why. When I have beaten you, all the suffering and rehab and pain medication will be worth it. This isn’t a simple rivalry like I’ve had with Keelan since I returned. This isn’t a match of indifference like with TLA, who I respect as a wrestler but honestly have no other feelings about. You are different to me than every other person in this match. Not simply because of you being champion, no, don’t get that simplistic with it, son. It’s because you’re you. And I saw you coming a lot sooner than anyone else did. I knew when our paths crossed back then that they would again, but I never anticipated even with all the scheming that I am legendary for that providence would arrive in such a tantalizing package that I am chomping at the bit to tear to pieces.


Seeing you leave the Elimination Chamber without Championship gold is not a goal. It’s not a priority. It’s not an obsession. It’s a crusade. It’s a glorious expedition that I have undertaken not just for myself, but Voltage as a whole. I am not surprised that you have grown so smug and secure, listening to your own hype even as you scheme on levels that frankly I have to congratulate you on to keep your title. You are the Man, and you have earned that status. But now, it’s time for you to come face to face with an old ghost from your past. One that cannot be killed, cannot be destroyed, cannot be put down or driven away. Even those who hate me know that above all else, I am a survivor. I survived you before, Jamie, and I will survive you again. There is no disputing this. The only true dispute that is left is if you leave the arena as World Champion. I will do everything in my power to make sure that wonderful dream of mine becomes a reality. And I have the tools to make sure that you don’t.


So here we all are, six men gathered from very different backgrounds, different levels of skill, different levels and reasons of motivation. Gathered in a structure designed to torture and restrict its inhabitants. It’s a place that I have struggled. I have never had so many obstacles thrown my way. Never in my long career have I been in such an unfavorable position. That’s fine. Iron sharpens iron. I have never cowered in the face of a fight and I’m damn sure not going to stop now just because I’ve lost one on one matches to almost the entire chamber. The chamber is meant to be an equalizer, a safe haven for a survivor like myself. And I will use every last bit of the structure to my advantage.


I know that everyone in this match is capable. I know that I am capable too. And I know that I’m going to surprise a lot of people and sent a lot of fans back home upset because I plan on walking away from The Road to Redemption the champion. It’s almost destiny. Think about it. The man who should have been champion years ago, in a structure where he suffered several failures, beating back young hungry up and comers while dethroning one of his greatest foes and avenging numerous losses and slights in the process. I am the living, breathing embodiment of what Road to Redemption is all about. This isn’t a coincidence, its fate. It’s reality.


Some of you are going to say that I bitched my way into this match, that I don’t belong. That I’ve gone insane. Fine. But as you all prepare for this match and prepare to take down Jamie, or in your case Jamie defend your position, I simply say to you all that you shouldn’t be surprised that I’m in this position. This isn’t just some Kenny Drake conspiracy or collaboration. It’s hard work, brand-building and clever self-promotion all rolled into one. This match, and by extension all of you, are better for me being involved. This match has it all. Enigmas. Comedy acts. Vigilantes. Underdogs. Champions. You just needed the last ingredient, the man to give this steak sizzle and flavor and it is me. I will not disappoint my beloved following of fans, and I will not disappoint you, my fellow competitors. I will dazzle and dominate like no one would have ever thought possible and claim my rightful position at the very top of the Voltage mountain.


It is amusing to me that with everything that has gone on, people refuse to believe that I am worthy of being in this match, that I was added as cannon fodder. Even the General Manager found himself falling victim to this nonsense. I’ve had to unfortunately cancel one victory parade, but I can assure the good people of my home state of Louisiana that one WILL go on as scheduled as I emerge victorious at Road to Redemption. And if any of you have a problem with that, you have a much bigger problem with me. The kid gloves are coming off, children, and I’m putting the fighting gloves on in their place. Even with those, I’m sure most of you want nothing to do with my punching prowess.


So, I’ve said my peace, boys. Go ahead, tell me how you beat me in this match or that match or how you’re the future or the present or a champion. The truth of the matter is I’m far beyond giving a shit about any of that. This match will bring all my personal and professional demons into a violent one-stop self-redemption shop.


And I’m gonna shop until all you motherfuckers are dropped. Believe that shit.