The scene opens up in a back alleyway in the afternoon. A petite woman of short black hair in black hoodie and leggings looked up to the camera. Her hands in the hoodie pockets as the red brick wall in front of her blocked any sort of background.

“Poverty is something we all see in our lives.”

The woman frowned at the camera.

“To the average citizen a guy begging on the streets is another drug addict who needs more money for crack, or just begging for something to spend on booze! Or even just as much as a scam artist trying to get an extra bang for your buck! Yet you want to know the truth about situations such as these? The truth is, the next thing you know that guy giving out handjobs for crack money could very well be you! The next bum on the streets looking for food and freezing during the night could very well be someone you know, someone you love, someone close to you or even yourself if you aren't careful! Though I bet you're wondering why some random professional wrestler is telling you this instead of some random politician or guest speaker? But you know what? It's the truth! Wanna know how I know? It wasn't because of the way my I played my hand, it was the very hand that I was delt growing up! I mean let's face it, my mom was a teen parent who was only just learning how to make it in the world when I was on the way! My father may have never learned a goddamn thing from that! So you may think that I’m just a sad song with nothing to say, but if you think that I’m wrong, then it probably never happened to you. But from my poverty I learned something, learned how to use what I have and build myself up!”

The woman points towards her face as a proud and passionate posture emerges.

“Look at this face right here! This face belongs to Laura Catherine Laine! The Phoenix so to say! Out of every struggle that has come into my life the past twenty two years, I always managed to learn! And as for me becoming a professional wrestler?”

Laura straightened her body and brought a cooler attitude.

“Well, a man I once loved told me that; the dream is sure, far fetched. But not impossible, sure for most of us it's back to taking bumps in front of twenty plus fans for a hotdog, but if you put your mind to it you can be great!”

“Those words I took to heart, and I knew then that if I got in the ring now and trained up to the top and made it to EAW! That's how far I was willing to go! I brought myself from living in a sketchy apartment in Alberta to becoming a professional wrestler! I mean, yeah sure, I may still live in an apartment, but I never cared for big mansions or big money anyway, most girls seem to curl over it, but honestly it was never about the money, it was about using the life that I have been given and doing absolutely what I can with it! It's about making sure that I wasn't some burden on my mother, because let's face it, everyone in the family who wasn't a planned event always had that anxiety, the anxiety of being disappointing and wondering how your parent’s lives change were it not for your existence, yet at the same time, you are grateful for the fact that you existed! Sometimes that family member wouldn't want to let go and tell you what views of theirs are real. Yet deep down inside me, there is less depression involved, but more or less gratitude! It means that arising from the ashes, I molded myself into perhaps the most adaptive survivor possible! You see,”

Laura sits herself down on a flipped over trash can in behind her.

“I may be barely over five feet, and my not even be a hundred pounds, but that doesn't matter to me. Right in front of you is one of the toughest, flexible and most dexterous women professional wrestling will ever see! Am I going to be stopped by a woman bigger, taller, thicker or stronger than me in terms of muscle mass? Read my lips;”

Laura tongues something out as she lowers her hood.

“Because the friday after Shock Value, Elite Answers Wrestling is going to see, just what kinda woman Laura Laine is!”

Shock value #2

Tuesday, Oklahoma City, 9:00 p.m.


(The scene opens outside an abandoned house. The sky is cloudy, and the wind howls on this night. The shot transition inside down an empty hallway where none of the distinguishing features can be seen due to the void of light. The shot again transitions to a mid sized bedroom which has been cleared of all furniture. It is here we see in the faint beams of light that managed to squeeze past the the two by fours nailed to the walls, Solomon Caine sitting on the floor with his back against the wall and his knees brought up to his chest.)

Caine: "The lightning. When the lightning strikes the earth all will be made whole. All who doubt shall see the sign in the sky that heralds their arrival. When the lightning strikes The heathens will quiver in fear for they know that their time is soon coming to an end. The consecrated day shall be celebrated by those who have served our masters well, and loathed by those who have turned away from their calling. See this Sunday is not about glory or honor being heaped upon my name, or any other who place themselves before my masters' altar. No this Sunday is the day when the filth that festers upon this earth come to witness just a small portion of the power my masters possess as they lay to waste all who dare to offer themselves as sacrifice. The time is soon at hand when the works of my masters will be understood, and on that day it will be too late for all who have not chosen to serve.

Do you hear me Ahren? Do you understand the difference between seeking out their glory and your own? Do you comprehend where of those roads end? I speak to you in order that you may save yourself from the horrors which await the foul wretches of this earth. To spare yourself from the fire that will fall in a glorious reign. Do not let this warning fall on deaf ears. Do not turn your eyes away from the truth that is being revealed to you at this moment. For it will be a terrible shame should your arrogance beget your downfall. For they will not stand for insolence, they will not stand to be slandered, and they will not grant salvation to those who will not put their own ego aside. Awaken from the slumber that this world has cast upon you, open your eyes and see! The terrors that shall be unleashed, they will arrive sooner that you realize. I beg you to come to your senses before that day, BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!

(Caine picks himself up off the floor.)

Do not make the same mistake as that Leech Mike Showman. Do not think that the orders of those who have sent me are simple smoke and mirrors. See while he thinks himself as being righteous and above all of the other heathens, he is his own false prophet who has twisted his thinking. His is a most terrible fate, which he has been bonded to in chains stronger than iron. He holds dear to the wealth and power he has acquired thru I'll deeds committed by himself, and his ancestors, that is all he will ever hold. For on at the chosen hour my master will bring forth the flood of flames that will envelop All that has seen, and made. And when that time comes he shall weep bitterly as he bares witness to all that surrounds him, crumbling to nothingness. His world, his entire being is a temporary delusion. A mere distraction that he can cast his eyes towards to forget that his existence is hallow and vain, and serves no greater purpose but to torn asunder by the hands of those who have sent me.

And now that he has paired himself to Jon McAdams, each shall sample the bitter drink that awaits them at the end of ages. Oh yes Jon, They have not forgotten about you or the bile that you spoke of them with your wretched tongue. I see fear in your eyes, the fear of realizations. The fear that comes when you see that aaaallllll that I have spoke of is the truth. They have told me of how you now have finally recognized the power that they wield, and you have learned some respect for them. But your fate has already chosen. EVERY LAST WORD OF CONDEMNATION I HAVE SPOKE OF YOU WILL COME TO PASS! It matters not if you have Mike Showman counted amongst your allies. It does not even matter how many have agreed to stand counted at your side, for whether it is one, or all the armies of the word! You shall all be obliterated in the twinkling of an eye.

The same goes for the braggarts who boast of themselves to their enemies, and have been trampled under foot EVRY GODDAMN TIME! The sons of thunder who with mighty yells have time and again proven just how weak They truly are. The sons of fools who pass on an evil seed that carries within it a millennia of atrocities committed by filth whom they believe should be honored. My masters will see to it that your wicked bloodlines will end on the day of the great reign. That neither Danny Knoxx nor Jakob DeLion will have nothing to cling to, not even each other, when the hour of cleansing has arrived. So chose the words that emanate from your rotten mouths carefully, for with each curse, and insult that utter against them, my masters will pour out more of the chosen punishments upon you. With every lie you speak about how you are not weak, that much more will you witness the horror that will beset you!

JD Damon. I speak now of you, I ask if you now, even with the servants who do your bidding , have deceived yourself into believing that if you offer yourself up as a disciple to those who have power and authority for the time being, that it will save you from all that I have said was coming? Who will save you when they become nothing more than dust and ash?! You, who could not stand against the strength of mere men, how will you hope to resist my masters who hold strength that can not be perceived by scum like you? YOU CAN NOT! YOU WHO ARE NOTHING MORE THAN EXCREMENT THAT CLINGS DESPERATELY TO THE BOTTOM OF A SHOE! You have not single hope of saving yourself, no matter how far you chose to run, or wherever you would chose to hide they will see you out. They will find you. They will destroy you. The oooonnnlllyyyy thing that you may do is accept your fate and present yourself this Sunday as a sacrifice in my masters honor with the rest of the heathens who have been chosen.


HEATHENS... like Alonzo Calrissian. A thief, not worldly goods, but if the identity of heros and champions. A thief of the hearts and minds of those whose attention sways like reeds in the wind. Those who cast their eyes upon anything that can offer distraction from the knowledge of that all they have built and labored over, has already been brought down to its very foundations. You Alonzo, you are but a jester to them, a clown whom they can laugh at in the short amount of time that they have left, and you embrace that role. You embrace being their fool so that you may gain a pittance of glory from them. Do you not realize that their praise means nothing?! That the vanity that drives you, only leads you nowhere? Has your mind been that warped and twisted that you can no longer decipher what is true?!? If that is then I shall relieve you of the burden of continuing on after this Sunday. I will grant you an end upon the altar of those I serve, that masses of the world might see your down fall, and in doing so have a chance to prosper as the servants of my masters. Do not be disheartened Alonzo for yours is a wonderful task. It is a great honor to be chosen for this purpose. It is what must be done So that their rule may spread, and the nations of sick, inept, and otherwise weak be lifted from this world. Thank you Alonzo for great and marvelous things will come after you have been destroyed.

And Maero, I have yet to call you my ally. I know that you serve your master just as I serve mine, but what you must understand is that you may speak ill of me, I am not the one who holds you fate. But you shall not speak ill of those who have sent me. I dare not question the purpose of what they ask of me BECAUSE I'VE SEEN WHAT HAPPENS TO THOSE WHO DO! I've witnessed the horrors that have seen the rivers of blood that ran in every direction! I've Smelt the burning ash rising up from the charred remains that were left on the streets! I've seen the fire that will bring an end to the empires of men! I've done terrible things, TERRIBLE! Things that give most men nightmares, things that will haunt me until my masters grant me peace! Things that they have told me to do, lest I be thrown into the same pit with the rest of you. And you wonder why do their bidding? Your doubt Maero, will be your damnationnnnnnn. For those who have called me, will not tolerate anyone who would dare defy them! I warn you Maero, do not think your devils are greater than mine. Do not hold hope that you will be spared if you keep down the path you are choosing. For if you do than this Sunday will see you made an example of! You will be crucified along with the others. You all shall be made a public display of pain and humiliation, and when it is done the eyes of the world will see thru you, and all the other filth that has been set for slaughtering. Maero you maybe a blade, but even the finest steel must be made pure by fire."


(Caine returns to his seated position.)

Caine: "The blessed day is soon my brethren, let all who hear my voice take to heart the message of those who sent me. And those who refuse to, you have dug your own graves in doing so. For it is your blood that will run rivers, it is your screams that will echo in eternity, and it is your bodies that will become nothing more than charred logs laying in the streets. ALL of these thing I have been told by my master, and they must become so!"


(The camera pulls back away from Caine, down the hallway, and stands out side where the video began.)

The end

(Ahren Fournier in front of someones house,  wearing his fairy wings)

 

I’m here to give happiness to the world, I’ve got a big box o’ condoms, and I shall share them with the world. FIRST HOUSE LETTUCE GOOOOOO… get it? Lettuce, like let us? You’re a little slow, it’s ok.

Interviewer: Hello Ahren (He creeps out from the shadows) It’s been a while

 

Ahren: WHAT THE FUCCKKKKK, how long have you been there?

Interviewer: A while

Ahren: How did you know I was coming here

Interviewer: Don’t worry about it

Ahren: I’m worried about it

Interviewer: Don’t

Ahren: I am

Interviewer: No stop

Ahren: Can’t stop won’t stop

Interviewer: I wanna ask questions

Ahren: No questions, I’m working

Interviewer: You’ve taken me on the trill fairy adventures before

Ahren: And?

Interviewer: I wanna do it again

Ahren: No… Leave my presence swine… You ain’t trill

Interviewer: Ok I’ll go then…. (Turns to walk away)

Ahren: WAIIIITTTTT!!!!

Interviewer: MY EARS!!!

Ahren: DON’T YELL AT ME!!!

Interviewer: WHAT??!!

Ahren: Wow, really good at taking direction

Interviewer: I’m deaf now

Ahren: good… Now leave

Interviewer: …. I don’t know what you said, but lets go to the first house

Ahren: Damn it… Fine

(They turn and go to the first house, luckily the door isn’t locked so they walk right in)

Interviewer: What did this person do?

Ahren: Soccer flipped a water bottle into a trash can.. super trill

Interviewer: I don’t know what you said, but cool..

Ahren: k I didn’t yell that loud, relax.. Here’s the door

 

(Ahren opens the door, you see a dude sleeping)

 

Ahren: WAKE UP

Dude: AHHHH WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE????!?!?

Ahren: Being trill per usual, how bout you?

Dude: Um sleeping….

Ahren: BEHOLD FOR I AM THE TRILL FAIRY!!!

Dude: OH… Cool!

(Ahren throws some condoms at him, and leaves)

Dude: THANKS MAN!

Ahren: No problem…

(interviewer can tell something’s wrong, as they walk out of his room)

Interviewer: Whats up pup?

Ahren: Don’t call me pup weirdo

(as they walk out the door an attractive female walks in the door)

Ahren: Enjoy

Female: thanks

Interviewer: So whats up?

Ahren: Ahren came to the realization that it was time to talk… talk about… his upcoming match

Interviewer: Oh narrating your life again? Nice

Ahren: It is time… TO THE FAIRY MOBILE

 

(Fairy transition screen)

 

(Camera comes back to Ahren in his Fairy Mobile, which is a pink Lamborghini)

Interviewer: Hey… Can I come in?

 

(Ahren rolls up the window, Interviewer stands there awkwardly)

 

Oh hey Maero whats up, missed you too bud. Last time we faced off I beat you in what 20 seconds? Honestly I didn’t even know you were still employed here. I don’t know what you want me to say? I mean, I gave you what you deserved, you’ve always been, and will always be just a footnote in EAW. Hell you’re a footnote in the Sanitorium, no one gives a shit about you. But one thing that you said confused me, “I’ve made you take a three-second trip to dream town many a time.” I sure as hell hope you don’t mean that you beat me many a time, because we’ve faced off once, and like I said, I destroyed you, your hopes, and your dreams. I don't know man, I guess I lost my cool, I would never hurt Oz, he's my boy. Give him this lollipop (takes out lollipop) I'll give it to you in the ring this weekend. Sorry I don't entertain you as much as I used to, but that doesn't really matter. What matters is results, and that's what I do, I produce the dub. And that will happen yet again this weekend.

 

Wow, has there ever been a team with a combined IQ less than People With Class? Let’s just start with Jon McAdams because he talked first. First of all he talks and talks about the same one topic, that he’s not even right about, and never actually rebuttals anything I say. He’s pathetic. How can you say so little, and be so wrong in that one little sentence. This has been the worst month of my career? What’s this the third week of November? I’m 1-1. I don’t know how you can possibly consider that really bad.? You would be lucky to have a record like that, I mean have you ever won 2 matches in a row ever? I know you lost to me 2 times in a row, so you can’t even beat a person two times in a row, but you can damn sure lose 2 times in a row. This month I have barely lost to Matt Miles in very wishy washy fashion, and I beat the shit out of A Star. So tell me, how is this the worst month of my career?  You’re really good with months aren’t you? You’re really good at the concept of time aren’t you? Yup loss after loss, all 1 of them. You moron Last time we met in that ring, I beat you, and your little friend with benefits hit me from behind like a little bitch, and you joined in. That doesn’t take talent, that doesn’t take brains, it takes a little bitch. You can’t beat me face to face so you have to result to underhanded ways. And it wasn’t even you that hit me, so what the hell are you even proud of? Just following the lead of the leader of PWC, Mike Showman. Which is definitely one of the worst leaders of any team ever. So go ahead and be proud of your record that’s absolutely abysmal, and get your facts wrong, time and time again, it’s fine. While you talk about fictitious things, I’ll live in reality, and keep winning. Stupid just stupid.

 

(Lets out an aggravated sigh)

 

Then we have this moron, Mike Showman, who again drones on and on about all the same shit that he always talks about, just like his partner. ANNNNDDDDD the hypocrisy continues, I don’t know if he had a stroke mid-way through this sentence but let me play this video back. (AHren plays Mike Showmans video) “But anyways, Ahren, it good to see to you talk about me after so many days” Umm what the hell did you even say? It good talk to Mike too.. I’m the retard? Like I’ve been saying for weeks, you can’t construct a coherent sentence. I can’t even understand what you say sometimes, hypocrite. Everything I say, you can understand, it’s coherent. It’s educated, it make sense. You? Well I guess your dad didn’t really spring for the best of the best when it came to teachers. Oh it didn’t end there, there’s a lot more. (Plays the video again) “When people talk about your match with mine.” We wrestled separate matches? My match versus yours? What the hell does that even mean? You mean when people talk about our match against each other.. SPEAK ENGLISH PLEASE. If you call me a retard, at least be smart yourself. (Plays video again)  “That’s right, people like you deserved to kick by the society”. I deserved to get kicked by THE society? Then what happened? I don’t deserve it now apparently but back in the day I deserved it. By the way you don’t need to say the society, just society. Like it sounded like you were saying that I deserved to kick society, because that’s the way you were constructing the sentence, and then you went in a way that just wasn’t a real sentence. I don’t take anything you say seriously because you have no idea how to even say it. The ironic part of this, this is the sentence where he’s saying that he’s exposing me, showing everyone that I am, a “retard”. You can’t even speak English. But let me just comment on what you actually tried to say. I realize I’m broken? Umm, you’re putting words in my mouth, when did I quit? Why would I care that you have a tainted victory over me, or that you hit me from behind because you can’t beat me unless you cheat, or hit me from behind. You’re a little bitch dude, and not once have you been trill through this entire thing. I’m fine, I don’t know why you think I’m struggling, I come up with new material against you every day, you’re that easy of a target. I’m fine, I’m the Trill Fairy, WE GON BE ALRIGHT! I only go out there, and dominate every week. Nothing has changed. You only have the same three topics, and it’s quite boring really. It’s quite funny really, same topics, you’d think that you’d be able to learn how to say the same thing you said in a coherent way, but nope. Back to your ignorant statements though (Plays video) “you don’t know what the taste of wine feels like”… You can’t feel taste…  They’re two separate sensations.. You moron, or should I say retard? (Plays video). “a fail attempt to be honest because both I and Jon know”. Jon and I.. Now I’m just giving you a free English lesson, I should be getting paid for this. And then the crème dela crème, missing the entire point of the whole racism bigotry part. NO I DIDN’T CALL YOU THESE THINGS. Listen to me with your ears, comprehend my words. I know how hard that is because you can’t even vocalize your own thoughts clearly. What I said was, you show the characteristics of a racist, of a bigot. I’m a very clever individual, I’m making connections to your personality to those of people that have these feelings. But let me explain it to you.. AGAIN! Because clearly you’re someone that doesn’t understand something unless you’re taught it multiple times. You hate me because you don’t understand me, and instead of trying to understand where I come from, you decide to hate. Like I said that’s how wars are started, that’s how hate spreads. People don’t understand Muslim culture, so whenever they see someone with a Sikh turban and automatically think oh that’s a terrorist. When like 99% of the time, they aren’t a terrorist, just someone trying to go through their day to day life. So yes, you show the characterizes of a bigot, or a racist Are you one? I have no idea. Just the fact that you share these characteristics with them should change your way of thinking. You fear me, you don’t understand me, greed.. All the things you posses, all things that lead to war, and you and me are going to war Mike, and I will win. I can’t let this loss to you hang over my head forever, I’m beating the ever living shit out of you, and your partner. But as I said, these characteristics are problems you should try to fix, find understanding within, and project love without. The Trill Fairy loves all people. You apparently hate the mentally handicap for some reason. So you place that title on me so you can let out all your anger towards them. It’s odd ya know? And by the way “your retarded brain”… I found that ironic. You know Mike, looking back, you coming to me, begging me to partner up with you, I made the right decision turning you down. I wouldn’t want an ignorant fool like you as a partner, I wouldn’t want someone that can’t even construct a coherent sentence together. Someone that doesn’t even know what class is. But I’m glad you found the man of your dream in Jon  McAdams, you two were made for each other, perfectly untalented people joining forces for a lackluster showing, woo hoo. Anyways, I’ve had my fill of exposing you as the true “retard”, now go home to daddy little boy, maybe he’ll read you a book so you can properly construct a sentence.

 

*tap tap tap*

(Interviewer still there taps on the window)

 

Ahren: WHAT THE HELL I FORGOT ABOUT YOU!!!

 

(Ahren opens the door for him)

Ahren: Sorry I needed my clear headed space, you understand

Interviewer: I do…

Ahren: So where do you want to go?

Interviewer: How about we…

Ahren: Strip club it is

 
(Ahren gives a little smirk, and drives off as the camera fades to black)

Showdown Promo 1

The camera opens on a closed front door from the inside of a shabby apartment.  AV techs and an interviewer stand at either side of the door, waiting in silence for something to happen.  Suddenly there's a knock on the door.  The room erupts to life behind the camera as the interviewer ducks behind the door frame, jiggles the doorknob h, and lets the door swing open on it's own like a cautious SWAT team member in the middle of a sting operation.  As the door creeks open anticlimactically, Pizza Boy appears on the other side holding a pizza box in a hot sleeve out in front of him.  He looks up from his order form and immediately glares.

PB: I've got an order here for...oh you've got to be kidding me.

PB stares ahead at the camera in trembling anger as the interviewer jumps out of the shadows and shoves the mic into his face.

Interviewer: Pizza Boy, we'd like to talk to you about what happened on Showdown.

PB sighs in disgust before putting on his clenched teeth service industry smile

PB: It'll cost you.

Interviewer: How much?

PB: eight-fifty for the pie and a tip for me.  I'm not on EAW's clock right now, so if you're going to ambush me with interviews you're going to have to pay me.

PB slowly turns his head toward the interviewer.  His mouth smiles a warm and welcoming smile, but his eyes are full of indignant disgust.  The interviewer pats down his suit jacket pockets and shrugs toward the camera man in lost horror.  There's a rustling behind the cameras as engineers, key grips, and gaffers scrounge to somehow make up the lump sum of eight-fifty plus gratuity.  PB hangs his head in frustration and tries to temper his building rage.

PB: Don't tell me you guys ordered a pizza without the intent of tipping me, much less paying.

Camera Man: five...six...OK, we've got it.

The interviewer scurries off behind the camera and comes back with two handfuls of wadded ones, quarters, and bent pennies.  He lays it on top of PB's pizza box cautiously as Pizza Boy continues to stare downward in abhorred anger.  He sighs and starts counting the money with his eyes.  He picks up a duct taped together one, glances off camera with a 'really?' glare, before rolling his eyes and picking up one of the copper coated coins within the pile.

PB: OK, never mind the singles that are covered in glitter and reek of yeast, at least that's currency.  But this? This is an arcade token, and I'm pretty sure that I saw one of those 3-D Canadian glow in the dark dinosaur coins? I mean, it's pretty cool, but I'm going to need some American legal tender here.

Camera Man: Yeah, but there's at least eight dollars there right?

PB: Soooo my tip is a nickle that looks like it survived an encounter with a railroad track, a wheat penny, Canadian Power Rangers money and a buck that's got some stripper's name written across George's face?

Camera Man: Actually...I might need that back.

PB: You guys are really making me want to talk to you right now.  

Interviewer: PB, I told them this was a terrible idea.  

Camera Man: Yeah.  He did, but you don't talk to us anymore man.  We got kicked out of Bo and Tye's, you ditch out of Showdown before the show's even over, and you're not even on the hotel registry for travel.  This was our last resort.

PB: Guys.  Listen.  When I'm out on the street, doing my job, delivering pizzas and on the clock I'm not beholding to you.  When I'm done wrestling and want to go home for the night and sleep off my concussions, I'm not obligated to check in.  You're not my parents, and talking to you isn't my obligation as a professional wrestler.  

Camera Man: Yeah, but-

PB: But what?!

Camera Man: We're..friends.  Right?

These words seem to wound PB as he looks away in wincing shame.

PB: I don't make friends in this business anymore.  Certain people need to realize that every time I do someone gets hurt.  I put them in the cross hairs and they end up taking the hit for me when that's not what I want.  

Camera Man: Wow...is that really what you think?

PB continues to avert his eyes.  Before the interviewer can shove the mic in his face again, PB shoves the pizza into his gut and turns to leave.

Camera Man: PB, Brian isn't hurt because he's friends with you.  Brian got hurt for the same reasons you often get hurt. Brian tried to stand up for what was right. 

PB: What about HBB?

Camera Man: He's over on Dynasty.

The room goes silent as PB's head pops back up.  He turns and faces the camera with a stunned look on his face.

PB: What...?

Camera Man: Yeah, he's off on Dynasty right now making a run for-

PB: Shshshs!  So he's...OK?

The Interviewer gives a confused glance over to the camera man, shrugging once more as PB's gaze stays locked dead on the man behind the camera.

Camera Man: I mean...yeah.  As far as I know.  The same goes for Tony, Barney, and Percy.  They're all off somewhere safe.  Some of that's because of you.

PB: But I put them in harm's way.

Camera Man: Are you really going to let yourself take the blame for Drake and Jones being douche bags?

PB glances around the room as his cheeks begin to grow pink with a bit of embarrassment.  His body relaxes as he turns to the interviewer, and then back to the camera with a nervous smile.

PB: I never thought about it that way.

Camera Man: So does that mean you're going to do the interview?

PB: I-I guess...I'm a little flustered though.  Give me a minute.

Camera Man: Alright.  Want to sit down and share a slice with the crew?

PB: Like old times?

Camera Man: Yeah man.  Like old times.

PB: I'd...I'd like that.

The camera cuts off, seemingly momentarily, only to come back up seconds later to the sight of PB with a slice of pepperoni pizza in his hand, and a big wad of it nursed in his cheek as he chews away into the microphone.  He wipes the cheese from his mouth and nods to the camera man, as if to confirm they're rolling.

Interviewer: We're here with the Pizza Boy to get some insight on where his mind's at right now going into next week's Showdown with HRDO making the decree that if he can beat Ares Vendetta in a one-on-one encounter, he'll be able to participate in the Extreme Elimination Chamber for the Elite Answer's Championship.  PB, what are your thoughts?

PB: My first thought right now is that damn this pizza's good! If you want some, hit up Bo and Tye's Pizzeria down in the Bowery.   Come on in and get a slice.  If you can answer the trivia question of how many times Ares Vendetta kicked me in the back of the head at Rite of Passage, you'll get a free slice and a signed bow tie for your troubles.  I don't even know the answer to that one...and it scares me sometimes.

There's an awkward pregnant pause as PB stares dead eyed into the camera.  The interviewer follows his gaze, tilts his head, trying to find what PB's staring at.  PB snaps out of his trance as the camera man lets out a fake cough to get his attention.  He nudges the interviewer and gives him a cockeyed stare.

PB: What're you doing?

Interviewer: I..uh...

PB: It's alright man.  We all space out, get lost in our thoughts...drift off into a melancholy state of regret and angst...but that's not me.  Acting aloof and sad about a title loss isn't me either. Being miserable about being beaten up isn't me.  Walking out of a major Free-Per-View with my head hung in shame over losing a main event championship match isn't me.  I should be humbled, flattered, and proud that I've gotten this far.  I should be elated that I got my hands on Ares Vendetta and Tiberius Jones, that I punished them as much as they punished me.  You know something? I am proud, and rightfully so.  Apparently I must've put enough of a hurting on our 'esteemed' champion to warrant two more shots to get my hands on him again.  That's good, because one way or the other it was going to happen with or without EAW sanction.  As of now he's responsible fo taking two things away from me; thing one? Brian Daniels.  I say thing because he's not a man.  He's a legend.  He did what everyone else was afraid to do after seeing what Ares Vendetta was capable of doing, what lows he'd be willing to sink to in order to remain on top.  He stood up to the Answer's Champion, looked him in the eye, and told him that he wasn't afraid of him.  He did it with kicks, punches, forearms, and submissions.  He put the fear of God in Ares Vendetta, to the point that Ares found it to be imperative to make sure Brian could never lay into him with one of those glorious kicks, or wrap his legs around his appendages with one of those amazing submissions.

Interviewer: It's tragic.

PB: It is, but what's not tragic is the fact that I saw that fear of God in Ares's eyes at Rite of Passage as he laid me out and left me to fall at the hands of Nico Borg.  I felt it in his quivering fingers as he tried to steady the chair around me and help Nico put me away for good.  But you didn't Ares.  I'm alive and well and reinvigorated at the prospect of not only getting my hands on you in Green Bay, but also at the idea of being locked in that chamber  with only you, me, four other men out for your blood,, and my trusty pizza cutter.

Interviewer: I'm assuming the second thing you're referencing that Ares took away from you is the EAW National Championship?

PB: Wow dude, I was on a roll and you just cut me off like that?

Interviewer: Sorry, I'm new.

PB points at the interviewer in a picking accusatory fashion while making a cross eyed face at the camera, inciting chuckles from behind the lens.  The Interviewer straightens his tie and tries to regain some dignity and composure.

Interviewer: Nico Borg is now the EAW National Champion, and it's partly due to Ares.

PB: It's entirely due to Ares.  Don't try to spin it into anything more than Vendetta trying to ruin me.  Don't get me wrong, Nico's a reprehensible clod of a snake oil salesman, but he had nothing to do with what happened to me at Rite of Passage.  That EAW National Championship might as well be around Ares waist because he served it up to Nico on a sliver platter without Borg so much as lift a finger to win it.  

Interviewer: He did win the 24/7 Ba-

PB: Was I in that match?

Interviewer: Well, no but-

PB: Was my title up for grabs in that match?

Interviewer: Uhm...

PB: Ares beat me.  He beat me to retain his gold and he beat me to win Nico that National Championship.  But may I remind everyone that he did so after Jones hit me with the mist out of the starting gate and beat the crap out of me?!

Interviewer: He did, but it was a triple threat which means anything goes.

PB: You know what? You're right, but there will be rules in Wisconsin and there wont be a Tiberius Jones present to do what Tiberius Jones's do best.

Interviewer: And what's that?

PB: Dragging me down with their own failures and shortcomings.  

Interviewer:  Wow.  Some uh, spirited and harsh words from the former two-time EAW National Champion.

PB: Are we done here? Can I go back to work? Maybe, I don't know? Sell some pies to a group of college students who'd probably tip better than this motley crew behind the camera?

Pizza Boy reaches off camera and audibly high fives one of the AV operators as the interviewer looks down at his note cards with the color leaving his cheeks.

Interviewer: Actually...there is one more thing.

The room goes quiet in knowing expectation of what's coming up next on the interview docket.  PB's jovial smile turns narrow.  He begins scratching the back of his head awkwardly as he turns toward the door.

PB: Listen...I uh...gotta go, alright?

Camera Man: It's cool man.  Sorry to interrupt your job and all.

PB: No no, it's cool.  It's cool.

Interviewer: I wasn't done.

Camera Man: No.  Dude, just let it go.  I know you're antsy to prove yourself with the hard hitting questions and all but-

Interviewer: I need to ask you about Tyler Park-

Pizza Boy lunges toward the interviewer, cutting him off mid-sentence as PB holds a finger up in his face.

PB: ...and we were having such a good time.  Don't show up at the restaurant anymore, OK?

Camera Man: OK man...

PB: This was fun though...

Pizza Boy points to the boys behind the camera as he sidles out of the room and into the hotel hallway.  He lets his hands drop by his side as he disappears down the hallway as the interviewer looks on.  The interviewer turns to face the camera.  He looks somewhat ashamed of his actions.

Interviewer: Well, that went well.

Suddenly wadded up paper plates and napkins come flying from behind the camera, pegging the newbie interviewer as the AV crew boo and hiss as the camera fades to black.

Did I or did I not warn you guys last week? I warned every single one of you fucking pathetic losers that I was going to walk into the squared circle and walk away with that victory no matter if I had to cause physical injury weather it be concussions, internal bleeding, torn ACL or a broken arm when I locked in that Machine Break. With that victory I think I deserve to go straight up to the top of the Interwire Championship ladder right? No one wants to deal with the most devastating move in the business today, I proved this past Friday night on Dynasty that I can break someone's arm in an instant when Azreal tapped out in an instant when I locked that baby in. Anybody on the roster doesn't want a piece of me. I bet Hades wouldn't want a piece of me, Kevin Devistation, Mexican Samurai and even Mr. DEDEDE himself wouldn't want a piece of me. Do you want to know why? The answer to that question is because I would crush there stupid face within seconds! I would ruin their career with a blink of an eye and there would be no turning back for them. The Interwire Championship one of if not the most prestigious championships on Dynasty or in our industry period that has been apart of this company since the beginning and that title would sure as hell look good around the waist of someone in a suit and that buys expensive clothing instead of some little latino that finds everything to be a joke in everyday life. In my opinion TLA shouldn't even be Interwire Championship he should just hand the title over to me because I am one of the greatest superstars on the Dynasty roster today! People on this roster don't want to come near me because they are afraid of me and don't want there body broken into pieces. Let me take you down memory road for a little bit here, do you people know how I....Lucas "The Wrestling Machine" Johnson got into wrestling? I bet you people don't because all you fucking do is sit on your ass all day and play video games but in middle school I was the odd person out because I was never good at sports. During the winter of my seventh grade year I wanted to join the wrestling team to release the anger inside of me due to being bullied and the adrenaline rush I got wrestling in-front of crowds is the reason I am here today. But recently I found out getting cheered by all of you is a waist of time? I'm here to focus on winning matches and championship now winning popularity contests and that's the bottom line. You have a problem with the Red Devil like myself? Step up over the line in the sand I dare you because your life would end with a matter of seconds and before you know it you would wake up in a hospital bed with a IV connected to your arm....

Now Kelly Hackenschmidt you decide to be the savior of the day by running down to the ring and make me release the hold? How cute are you? Are you trying to be a little super hero that you aren't? You step into my ring you would be the next person to be tapping out within seconds to my Machine Break! You are lucky Sebastian Monore sent down security to the ring because I would have ruined your career before it got off the floor because the only person you need to be focused right now is mine! The RED DEVIL, THE WRESTLING MACHINE, LUCAS JOHNSON - THE NEXT INTERWIRE CHAMPION! My Road To Redemption continues this week when I take on Ross Vegas inside my ring! This maybe my ring you are stepping into Ross but you certainty take Louisville, Kentucky as your state because frankly I already can't wait to get the hell out of that state and I didn't even get on my private jet to arrive there yet! What has ever happened in Kentucky besides their College Basketball team being good? Oh yeah nothing! Nothing is good about Kentucky, plain and simple. I should be performing of sold out crowds at Madison Square Garden, Staples Center and stadiums like Metlife Stadium or AT&T Stadium! I DESERVE TO BE ON FREE PER-VIEW POSTERS! I DESERVE TO BE ON ALL OF THIS SHIT! Once I capture that Interwire Championship it will be my baby and from then I will become everyone's worst nightmare because I am here to takeover....

 
I don’t have to be told what I can and can’t say. I don’t need any of you to tell me when I should say it. That goes for people on both teams. This match has turned into the punch line of a bad joke so quickly. There was this absolutely ridiculous start up notion here that we were all fighting for something different. At some point we were led to believe that the OG Vixens were going to take over and control everything. In reality they don’t have any power over anything. Every bit of control they have is earned in the ring. That’s why HBG became the Vixen’s Champion at Pain for Pride. That’s why Kendra ripped the Specialist’s title right out of the hands of Tarah in the middle of the Empress tournament. Who cares if this match actually accomplishes anything. This is what Cleopatra wants. She thinks this match solves something. The very person who has walked herself down a path where she’s fighting to keep control of her own show. Now we have this match she made. We were told to make teams. The other two weren’t doing anything so I stepped up and asked Sheridan. Now she acts like some saves the day fucking hero coming in as a white knight to save the day for this team because she volunteered to do this for no reason. On the flipside I’m getting accused of trying to control someone’s relationship because I offered them the chance to join this team. What the fuck actual world are we living in anymore? Can anyone explain it? Am I just plugged into a bad version of the Matrix where I have to listen to us all argue the same thing like the worst case of Deja Fucking Vu I’ve ever experienced? No, it doesn’t need to be like that. Just face the facts. This all started out as some great idea. HBG, Kendra and Cameron looked like they were going to take over Empire and then they all but said it. So a different group rose up. Not because they wanted to be them. Not because they wanted to wipe out their legacies or anything they stood for. They thought they were fighting to make sure Empire was more democracy then dictatorship. And we all wasted our time. So, yeah, maybe what we have here is just a match about pride. Nothing really ocmes out of it. One team wins, one team loses, and then all 10 people return to work on your next episode of Empire. And I believe this match was supposed to settle all of it, too. So we return just throwing all this in the past and moving on, right? That’s the design of it all?  I don’t even know what the point is anymore. I just know that I will show up at Shock Value and I will fight. Not because I’m trying to raise my level but because it’s what I fucking do. I love the competition and I love to win. I’ve spent countless hours preparing for this match because you have to. You can’t just walk into a match with any of those three, even all five of them, and just expect to walk out on the other side. No amount of repeating the same phrase over and over will change that. And no amount of whining about what this match is or what it became after the fact will matter. I don’t need a gimmick or a metal crown or some kind of special trophy to get me fired up for a match. I don’t need this to mean anything special. I know what I want to come out of this match. And I will do everything in my power to make sure that it happens.
 
People like Stephanie, I think they get it. She sees what the deal is. She knows I’m not quite dialed into the drama like some others are. There’s supposed to be so much loyalty between the teams in this match, but the past made sure that wasn’t possible for both sides. At least not completely. Part of the challenge is supposed to be which team can put aside every difference and fight for this win. On paper it’s painfully obvious which team has the upper hand in that area. The OGs. It’s true they know what they want.  They put together a team that has pure hatred for this group. I envy what they did and the efficiency they did it with. Especially when we have the person that boasts about efficiency so fucking much. Maybe the saving grace for this team is we don’t have to rise to special levels to compete with that group. We’ve all done it before, despite what they would tell. There’s no goddesses in this match. Just a lot of people who have worked hard and had pay offs. And all wrapped around three women who literally define what it means to be a woman in this company. That’s right, not a Vixen, but a woman. Look at everything Kendra has done. She has the right to have such an ego. She calls herself the best because right now she almost passes every check box to be in that category. It’s a little weird how she couldn’t even beat me when I had her tapping out two months ago, but I digress on that point. Few can even imagine holding a candle to her right now. Her comeback story has been nothing short of remarkable. And while she made a comeback, Cameron never left. She fought any and everyone put her path and she never disappointed. It wasn’t always a win, but it was never a disappointment. I’m positive on that. You’d hardly find a harder worker in this company. And then you flip over to Claudia, who is an enigmatic talent. She might be the most talented of all three, and when you toss her ability to be straight out vicious, you have a constant threat to win any title at any time. But in this match literally anything could happen. This is the ultimate mashup of personalities and legacies and abilities that there are so many scenarios that could end up happening. Even with the groups, the dynamics could be challenging. I find myself wondering which group might crack a little first. Because even where there is loyalty that exists, there are still egos in play. Many of us have achieved things and have dreams of achieving more. Many of us would go great lengths to win a match like that. For those reasons literally every crazy thing could be on the table. But all any of us can do is focus on ourselves. In the end, it could come down to just you fighting many. But fuck, I’m just talking myself all over the place here. I don’t know what to expect from my opponents or what I’ll see from my teammates, all I know is what I’m capable of and the level above that I think I can reach even in this match. No one should overlook me. No one.
 
Steph I don’t know why you expected me to be any different. I’m not. I won’t change. I’ll just become a better version of what you already know. That’s just what I do. No one is going to tame me. I’m not letting anyone tell me how I’m supposed to be or act. That shit is nonsense. And over and over you keep promising me that I have to have all these new and improved abilities to beat you. This is vintage you. I wouldn’t expect any different. You’ll see me pour every ounce out in this match, and not just to beat you. I wish I could count all the times someone has wanted so badly to send me back where I came from. What a boring, overdone cliché. I can just see Veena puffing out her chest as she yells that over and over again. You think these OGs would accept you with open arms after this match and give you anything? They simply saw talent capable of making some noise. Like I have said for months. And here you are, praising Donald Trump in one breathe and then bashing the very kinds of people that helped get him elected in the next. This is just what you do. And after I see you try and fail to eliminate both Tarah and Aria, I can’t say that one ounce of me will be surprised. Because why you are full of talent and you were bred to do this and all the same silver-spoon fed bullshit we hear from you every time, the one thing you’re best at is failing to deliver. And I know I shouldn’t be here. I know I probably took the place of so many other sluts waiting in line to walk into EAW and call themselves a Vixen. But I’m still fucking here. I wasn’t born to be here. My uncle isn’t the Greatest of All Time. But I worked my ass off to stay here and everything I’ve done has been out of working for it. Not a single person wanted to give me the opportunity to do anything other than breathe the same air as the rest of the locker room. But when I say I’m going to do things, I actually do it more often than not. That’s why I didn’t have to be asked to participate in this match. I was here in the first place. Even without all the drama that went along with it at the beginning, this match as a 3 on 3 would have been headline worthy. You being here doesn’t bring it down, but it doesn’t exactly raise it up either. You know what though, I’m glad your in this match. Everyone here seems to think they’re as good as their last match against someone. So I’d love to see you really try to prove it. I know if I have to, I will. If we’re really going by that logic, look at my last one-on-one match with all five people on your team. Win. Win. Win. Win. Win. Yep. Kendra I don’t know what crawled up your cooch and had you thinking I was going to come out here throwing shit all tantrum style and screaming about how I’m better than you, but you’ve fought me once and did I once go to those depths? Nah. I simply stood in, stood my ground and told you I would fight you until I beat you. And that’s what I did. I see you now doing your best vintage Kendra impression. And I get it. You care about this division greatly, but you also care about yourself. And this division is at its best, in your eyes, when you are standing at the top of it and it’s less crowded. I think that’s how all of this started. But it didn’t get very far because somehow Sheridan got the best of HBG and now we all get to watch that unfold together. Can you believe that while we were here trying to start a war amongst each other, she was scheming an idea of becoming champion and overruling all of us? Sorta crazy that she now thinks she alone will change everything about the Vixen’s Division. Been there done that haven’t we? She tells us how it’s going to be, but it falls on deaf ears. So she calls that cancer, and every one rolls their eyes. You don’t become the best by winning a title and telling people how it will be. You make that happen in your actions after winning a title. Not with your voice. You win and then you keep on winning. No matter the odds, no matter the opponent. That’s what has always defined us and always will. That’s why no matter what you do as Specialist Champion you will never shake the stigma that comes with it. People will forever say I made that title what it is. That’s long before you touched it and long after you do. That’s just how it’s going to be. I might not be an Original Gangster Vixen, but I have overcome greater odds than most people on my team. I was never supposed to be here, never supposed to win. HBG told me I would never, ever do a thing in this company. Yet here I am, still doing things and still winning. That’s not going to stop. This match won’t stop that. The OGs won’t stop that. Hell, my own team won’t keep me down even if it collapses in on itself. I’m not here for the drama. I’m here for the fight. I’m not here to destroy your legacy, I’m just fighting on behalf of my own. I’m at Shock Value for one reason and one reason only. To win. Just try and stop me.

FUCK! I don't need awful introductions on what this war means to me and this god-awful division, and I certainly don't need bullshit metaphors in order to make the audience believe that this match is even necessary when we ALL know that the OG Vixens are the clear winner. Everyone wake the fuck up. Wake up and smell the flowers. You're all approaching this like a bunch of fucking toddlers coo'ing and crying endlessly just to be fed, when what you should be doing is keeping in mind that you are nothing more than snotty piles of garbage that contribute nothing to the progress of this division. You will never amount to anything, not on your best day will you prove that you can be more. Please. PLEASE tell me, how is this so hard to understand? How is it so difficult to get it through your thick fucking skulls that this is nothing but a sad attempt to put bitter tastes in our mouths as you put an end to our reign of terror when you couldn't even get consistent wins against us? How is it so hard to understand that there is nothing you can do to stop us as we eliminate you one by one while our team stays intact? You continue to reject the history that has taught you that you filthy remakes will never be good enough to take over the originals, and that's fine but don't you fucking blame anyone else but yourselves once you come to the realization that we are the OG's for a reason. We are the pioneers. We are the founders, the originators, the seed that planted this thorny rose bush that you call your home, and without us, there's not even a fucking platform for any of you to perform on. Through the Christy Cruise's and the Sabinas, and the SG1's of the Vixens Division that were WIPED from existence never to be spoken of again because of their downright incompetence... through the Lethals and the Tarah Novas and the Haruna Sakazakis who give their fullest efforts to reinvent this division, when they couldn't even hold the weight on their shoulder, Cameron, Kendra and I were the ones who evolved, and adapted and took our careers to new heights with it. We are the ones who terrorized other divisions and landed accomplishments wherever we went. Time and time again, through the years and through the heights of our careers, the OG Vixens are proven and tested in the battlefield and there's not a damn thing that any of you can do that we wouldn't anticipate. Our experience combined with the progress that we've made is going to kill you where you stand. Our strength combined with our creativity will be a nightmare to you once you finally realize exactly what you're up against. We have taken out competitors who are bigger and stronger than all of you lot of toothpicks and your fickle heads combined. We have been through far more challenging situations that definitely tested our strength on a daily basis, which I am certain is more than anything ANY of you have done in the duration of your careers. You let your mouths do the talking with no real action to follow, blurting out nonsense thinking that you're so fucking bold and original when everything you’ve stated has been said by the SAME FUCKING VIXENS that we have already defeated through the years. You're just Level 10 piece of shits who think they can pass for Level 50, and because you stupidly believe that you're on a different league and that you're so fucking special, you get your asses handed to you by the level 100's in the OG Vixens. You think this is a joke? Do you think this is an exaggeration? Let's count the times when you all fell flat on your faces when you got defeated and humiliated in the middle of the ring like the pathetic human wastes that you are. Let's count the times when you complained and whine about the manipulation, the corruption and the deception that went on, basically EVERYTHING but yourselves when the entire world couldn't make it any more clear that you were defeated because of your carelessness and incompetence. That is the sad truth that you try to conceal -- you're just not good enough. You take Empress of Elite wins, and Vixens Cup trophies, and Lions Cup trophies because you're not good enough to take a shot in the dark and actually land a Championship in the palm of your hands unless your opponents are torn and battered and it's guaranteed that you're going to claim the gold, while people like myself, people like Kendra, and Cameron put our heart and soul into matches in order to do the impossible. And at this point in time, I am just so fucking done. When I hear your laughable explanations for why you THINK you could defeat us, I just can't help but chuckle and pity all of you and your sad fucking attempts. YOU TRIED! YOU REALLY FUCKING TRIED! BUT NEVER WILL IT BE ENOUGH.

You know exactly what I'm talking about, Sheridan. You know damn well I only speak the truth, and every statement I make is backed with facts, but the problem is that your tiny fucking brain rejects it because you choose to cover your eyes as you live in your little fantasy world where you can never do wrong as the truth bites you right in the nose. The only argument you have is that I am past my prime despite overcoming my opponents after I've been faced with defeat. The only case that you can throw my way is the fact that I don't care about this division, and that you're the most efficient woman in the world like it's supposed to mean something to me if it's literally coming out of a horse's mouth. You're a sad little cunt who belives that everything should be done right, but tweak your emotions a little bit and screw you out of a match where your loss was inevitable, and there you are putting your plans on hold just for the sake of your sweet revenge. "BUT I WAS VULNERABLE, HBG! THIS WAS YOUR FAULT! I CAN POINT OUT HOW YOU ARE JUST SEEKING ACCOMPLISHMENTS FOR YOUR OWN CAREER GROWTH, BUT I CAN TELL EVERYONE TWO FUCKING MINUTES LATER HOW I'M ONLY IN THE SIRENS FOR MYSELF, LIKE IT MAKES A FUCKING DIFFERENCE" I GET IT, SHER! I GET THAT YOU’RE EITHER STUPID OR A GODDAMN HYPOCRITE! I COMPLETELY GET THAT! I know that German Efficiency is a lie, and that you're just waiting for the opportunity where I'm tired, torn and battered after a match that I just won, because you know that based on our history, that you couldn't defeat me in a fair game on your best day. You can't take advantage of your Vixens Cup trophy because you know that somehow, someway, you're going to fuck up because you're a fucking coward and a shitty excuse for a wrestler, just as everyone expects. You're a fucking joke. You're an inefficient piece of shit who doesn't have the sense of urgency and the will to move forward in her career in a respectable way because you know that you need your big moment in order for your 10 twitter followers to agree on the idea that you actually did some work after making the excuse of biding her time for many months. You took the leap and I respect that. You took the Vixens Championship from me, and that's perfectly fine. But what happened after that? You hid yourself like a scared little girl behind the Sirens because you believe that you were doing what's right and it's the lesser of two evils... THE LESSER OF TWO EVILS, EVERYONE! SHERIDAN SAYS THAT THE CANCER OF EMPIRE, THE SIRENS, IS THE LESSER OF TWO EVILS! At least I can say that my side of the team, we actually deliver results. At least I can say with the OG Vixens, we actually are loyal in the group with the willingness to secure our places at the top, and this average fucking Champion that your whore mouth convinces the world, has actually defended her title twice in body-crushing matches that shocked the airwaves of not only Empire, but EAW itself. And you were jealous of that, Sheridan Muller. You were jealous of the fact that you are not celebrated because you're a boring piece of shit who put her crowd to sleep with her heavy accent and pure repetition that comes with her timid personality, you are jealous of much more interesting events that are happening around you that doesn't even warrant your attention, and you were always bitter of the fact that everyone is drawn into the drama that you never wanted yourself to be involved in. You expect the world to believe that you don't care, you want to pretend like it doesn't bother you every night when you go to sleep, but the way that you rattle and speak, and the fact that you absolutely have no appeal to the crowd in your repulsive existence, we both know it stings. Everyone can see that you're only in this war for one reason and that is to get attention, to be involved in the drama, to show the fact that Ms. German Efficiency is also very efficient in being a pig-headed wannabe as she convinces the world that she's not THAT useless, to get the boys to look at you for a few moments while they stare at Aria Jaxon's ass, to get the fans to actually holler your name and not see you as this one bitch who holds the title but really isn't there. And don't worry, Sheridan, I am not going to tease you about your antics, I am not going to make fun of your nationality, you already know how I feel about you on those regard, and I am certainly not like you who recycle cases and rehashes insults in every promotional video, because I am above that, Sheridan. I have a different approach. I am more direct, conniving, while you're just sitting there in the corner of the room doing nothing but expect flowers to bloom just by staring at it, while they grow instantly on my command. You like to make everyone believe that you're progressing and growing when in truth, if you didn't cash in your Vixens Cup trophy, you will still be treated like NOTHING at this point... and you call me average? Bitch, I am the one who accomplishes gold in a short span of time. I am the one who intimidates her foes with one mere stare, while nobody is shaken by your presence. I am the one who sees a shut door, but barges in anyway because I know I have the power to, and whether I am working by myself or as a team, I make damn sure I deliver and everything I have done from the start of my career up to today wasn't in vain. I come to the ring with passion and drive, and not the Vixens Division and the mindless bitches in it will take credit for my victories because they are not the ones who put in the work to get the job done. What can I say, Sher? I am a selfish person. I am manipulative. I can move mountains and back, not even utilizing half my strength. And there are just times when I'm heated and fumed I vibrate with rage, it terrifies me what I am capable of. But for this match when I face you, do you honestly think I'll twitch just because you're in the ring with me, Sher? Do you honestly think I'll lose sight of what I need to do because the woman who has taken my title is standing in front of me? No! I am going to treat this match like any other, and approach it the way I do downright pathetic vixens like you, Cailin, Aria, Tarah and especially Haruna. I'll eliminate all of you one by one, and I won't even need to seek help when I find myself in a difficult situation because I know that I'm just a facing a puny little bitch who isn't nearly as tough as she thinks she is.

SHOCK VALUE #2

Hello again pests. I addressed you not so long ago I remember that then I illuminated you on some facts on how all roads starting from different directions lead to only me becoming triumphant in the end up victorious in the great scramble match at Shock Value pay per view. I also remember pointing out clearly why none of my fellow competitors except Jon McAdams who also happens to be my team mate in the historical People with Class movement is the only man capable of dethroning me and that being said, I also pointed out that in the end, it is going to be a match between him and me and then the better man would win. Of course like I said before, all roads leads to only direction. Now it seems as if some people have stirred up from their beds after reading my array of facts and on doing that, they have come up with their own set up words and sentences in order to counter my said facts. Now I am not at all surprised. In fact, I already knew that this was going to happen. You see, not everyone is as intelligent and creative like I am. I need only study a situation or something and after I do that, I can give a detailed analysis of what is and what is not in that thing or what is and what is not going to happen. Also, I can say that in the most creative words possible. My unmatched talent is reason why I gave you my array of facts yesterday and now these people or as it so happens that they are my fellow competitors have come up and using my words as a pole in order to stand erect. You see people? They don’t even have a spine of their own. They are using my words, my sentences to add something more in order to contribute to this so call war or words. Now the interesting thing is, those are the people many fans and fellow wrestlers have predicted to go on and win the match and get the title opportunity. I mean, I already knew that the so called 'fans' and my fellow wrestlers are stupid but now I am convinced that their senses don’t work properly as well. Either that or my hate among the people has reached to astronomical levels and it is out of that that they have chosen a different winner fully knowing that that is not going to happen.

Now who are these people? Firstly we have my old pal Ahren Fournier, the man who I beat convincingly some weeks before at Voltage. Then if I remember correctly, in one of the weeks after that, I gave him such a beat down that even his retarded mind should have been put back into place. But I see that is not the case. But anyways, Ahren, it good to see to you talk about me after so many days. I really missed it you know, seeing the fear in your eyes, seeing your blood boiling at my sight and to be honest, your blood boils even more now does it? After all, even after all those big words you said, you still got your ass handed to you by me not once but twice. What you call a tainted victory, I call it a victory. I am one up over you and in the end of the day that is all that matters. When people talk about your match with mine, they will conclude by saying that I beat you and all the bullshit in the middle does not matter. And yes, you can call me predictable because I refer to the same characteristic in you time and time again but the thing that you fail to realize is that, there is nothing more in you that I can talk about. There is absolutely zero other characteristic you have other than the fact that you are a retard and so, that is basically what I have to go by. I mean, look at my pal Jon. He has got so many characteristics that I could go on and compose a novel about it and trust me then, I won’t be monotonous. You know what I am starting to think, this whole thing that you have glorified of me having a problem with you, calling me all sorts of names is just a ploy to make yourself feel better, to give your mind some peace and that I completely understand because I am the man who exposed you. I am the man who saw you for what you are, a dumb fucking retard who is fit to drink my piss and treat it as wine. That’s right, people like you deserved to kick by the society, eating the dirt from the boots of rich and classy people like me. It is because of me exposing you that you feel confused. You feel as if your whole existence was one big lie and now you are trying desperately to counter those terrible feelings that creep up to you wherever you are, be it night or day. Yes, look at me clearly people because I am the man who broke Ahren Fournier, the man you called as the trill fairy, the man who was supposed to be your hero. Ahren, I am enjoying this you know, seeing you struggle like a little fish out of water because this is what this match is. This is the big league you pest and this isn’t your playing field.

You know, I don’t expect people like you to understand what People with Class is because as I said, people like you only know what is the taste of the piss that comes out of us and so you don’t know what the taste of wine feels like. People with Class is like fine wine, the wine that people savour slowly, enjoying every bit of the sip they take and in the end sing praises about it for like weeks to come. Your attempt to sow seeds of confusion among us reminding us the reward of this match is really a fail attempt to be honest because both I and Jon know quite clearly that only one of us can win the match. Both of us know that only one of us can enjoy the stipulation attached with this match. However, what your stupid pathetic brain fails to realize is the fact that one of us can go on and win a single’s title and after that, we can go on to challenge the tag team titles together as People with Class and so in the end, we will end up with two titles at our grasp. So, it’s like a win for our team you see. Still, you will call us racist because you have no clue as to what is racism or when to call someone racist. You will call us bigot because of course we are bigot for rejecting your stupid and retarded viewpoints. You know Arhen, I feel it necessary to point out that this could have been you. Yes, I remember the time when I approached you with the idea of forming a team. I went to you, I WENT TO YOU and you turned me down because your retarded brain could not process the information that teaming up with me is like getting a ticket to success. So yes, as I was saying, this could have been you man. Today, you could have been standing here on the doorstep of becoming a double champion instead of doing, whatever it is you are doing. But yes, I am glad you did not team up with me because if you would have then I would never have met someone like Jon, a man who is my equal in thinking and ability. A man with whom I can dream of taking this People with Class movement well beyond the boundaries of Voltage and making it an EAW wide phenomenon. But yes, right now the focus firmly rests on the event at hand and so, you can go saying all you want, moan all you want about me getting one bullshit fluke victory over you because after Sunday, you will have nothing to do but stare, stare with whatever strength you have left after the beat down I give you and watch me become the winner of this scramble match. Then of course, you will go back to trill fairying, moaning and bitching.

You know, after all this, I should just sit back and relax and ask all my servants to bring me something nice to sip while I enjoy semi naked girls dancing in my pool. But no, not now. Because now, I have a match to win, a match that will change my future. Speaking of which, we have another man in the opening their mouths category and he is someone new, someone I have never faced before. But not to worry, his words seem to paint a pretty good picture of the man I am about to face. So what kind of man is he? A man who tries to be creepy but all he ends up doing is giving me a gala time. Solomon Caine, what is need for all this theatrics? Why can’t you speak man to man? I mean I give Forunier so much shit but he at least talks man to man. I mean, I understand that Nolan’s Batman franchise is quite a popular franchise and it has a pretty awesome comment on theatricality but dude, that is just a movie and whatever happens in a movie, stays in a movie. Like, if they show in a movie that you suddenly wake up one day to find that someone has left you enormous amounts of riches, do you think that is going to happen to you in real life as well? Of course not. Because the poor cannot be rich and the rich will remain rich. That’s why they are called poor and rich. Just like that, all those dark rituals that you were performing only works in movies with special effects, not in real life where you get what you deserve. Well anyways, I really find it strange that you would go through so much trouble only to convince us that our effort is vain and that you will win. But either way, whatever theatricality you resort to, it will have zero impact on the results. Because theatricality is a weapon for the weak. Only the weak hide behind shadows or costumes, a strong man has nothing to hide and nothing to protect. Look at me for instance, all that you see about me is real. My money is real, my charisma is real and my talent is real. No illusions, all reality. And with these, I won back to back matches. But yes, being weak is no shame because not everyone can be strong like me. Not everyone can be born into greatness and that adopt it to take it to expand the boundaries. Just like that, not everyone can win that match. You have to admit that Solomon and move on. And dude, please, no more theatrics. Because that would make your loss look even more ridiculous. Next time if you want to say something to me, say it to me man to man. Not that I think you would actually do that because I think you are a no ball half woman wonder. And with that said, I will let that sink in.

Now, I don’t like repeating myself but I will say it again, I will say it time and time again that I will win. All roads lead to only one destination and you know what that is. But yes, speaking is a waste of time. And I hope that by this time, the rest who have yet to open their mouths understood that they cannot hope to triumph over me in not only the wrestling part but also in the war of words. I am one step ahead of everyone always. I think, I understand, I plan and then I execute. I will conclude by giving a thank you to my partner Jon McAdams. Jon, I am glad that you have understood that People with Class is beyond all these petty people. I am glad that you have understood that we are the catalysts of change in EAW and we will not be separated because of the efforts of no ball wonders or piss drinkers. At the end of the match, People with Class will stand strong and I promise you that our dream will still be there but for the others, their dreams are….over.

Cheers.

(The scene opens with Drastik sitting once again in the same chair that he sat in last week. This time, there is only the single bar of light above his head to illuminate his expression; he is clearly displeased with something. He hesitates before leaning forward and looking blankly into the camera, rubbing his scruff before finally speaking.)
 
There’s something different about this that I wasn’t able to put my finger on the first couple of times I came down that ramp again—something strange about the feelings I had coming down to that ring regardless of what I was able to do. Yes, there’s no doubt that I’ve been able to have the upper hand the last two weeks on Voltage, but something doesn’t feel quite the same as it used to. For a while, I figured that maybe I was so used to the adrenaline of asserting myself in this industry that I no longer feel the fervor. Maybe I had heard my own theme so many times that the sounds of it being sung along by the crowd have been dulled. Maybe I take my profession and my legacy too seriously; maybe I get stuck in my own head and become so overtaken by my drive that I become unaware of everything else around me. I thought all of these things, and frankly, if they were any combination of those things then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Is there anything wrong with being so intent on proving myself and spiting someone as disenchanting and delusional as Nathan Fiora? Absolutely not. But I’ve realized that this isn’t about anything that I’ve been doing wrong. This is about the people who have somehow forgotten what made me what I am.
 
This is about the people who have somehow forgotten about me.
 
Every time someone comes back from some sort of hiatus—especially anyone who has had their time at the top—people automatically bombard them with the same rhetoric. “You’ve seen your best days already and you’re no longer what you used to be.” “You’re hanging on to any slim bit of relevancy you can manage.” “You may have done all of these things in the past, but you’ve never faced me. I’m different.” Every single person that is put in your situation, Nathan, says these things a million different ways. For many veterans, comments like these are frustrating, but they always make me laugh. How else could you reasonably write off what I’ve done in my career? Every single time people have written off my ability to compete by saying that I’ve seen better days they were quickly proven wrong. I have gotten better with every single return I’ve had to this company and this industry and there is no denying that. How else could someone combat the fact that I’ve won five world championships in my career and even, at one point, LEFT this company with both the Answers World Championship and Interwire Championship laid across my shoulders? People have acted like I’m any other accomplished veteran that had all of their success happen in a three-month window and never sniffed it again. But I’m not Zack Crash, Nathan. I’m not Montel Smooth. I’m not Superior Quality 85 or Kawajai or any of those other guys who came and went in the blink of an eye. Look up my name and see how it’s peppered throughout the history of this company in every single category there is to evaluate success. This wasn’t some one-time string of luck. I’ve come in here and obliterated the competition every single time that I’ve returned. And it wasn’t remotely by accident. Yet here I am, coming off of back to back weeks where I demonstrated that same dominance—especially last week where I should have squashed any concerns that I wasn’t fit to compete when I made a joke out of Black Sven. And still, everyone is quietly counting me out for some reason. People still predict that Nathan Fiora, the touted prospect who’s been a prospect for longer than most prospects should be considered prospects, will somehow manage to come out on top. The truth is made abundantly clear: these people that clog up your twitter feed or spam their unwanted opinions on comment sections and forums and pretend to be journalists with their semi-monthly top ten list posted to Facebook don’t know me. They don’t know what I’ve accomplished or what I’m capable of.
 
But Nathan, I know that you know full well what I’m capable of.
 
(Drastik gets to his feet slowly, looking away from the camera and toward one of the walls of the room. The camera moves outward to show him looking at his first Hardcore Championship hanging on the wall. He doesn’t break his stare for a moment, as if he’s deep in his memories shuffling through them. Without looking back to the camera, he begins speaking again.)
 
While I’ve admitted time and time again that I’ve watched you over the last few weeks dominate your division and repeatedly demand competition only to be thrown guys like one of the fourteen DeLion’s that pollute this company, I know that you’ve watched too. Before you even made it to the point where you could land a contract, you sat down in your living room and watched me compete at the highest level. You sunk into your couch in your RRS t-shirt and told your parents about how much you despised Captain Charisma and couldn’t sleep the night I through him off the top of the stage at the inaugural Pain for Pride. You watched as I dragged my own near-lifeless body across a blood soaked ring canvas to go on to win more Glass Walls matches than ANYONE this or any company has ever seen. You sat in awe when the curtain was pulled away and I revealed myself as Drastik, once again being a step ahead of both the competition and management. These people may not know me, Nathan, but I know that you do. And no matter which pieces of that same old rhetoric you settle on throwing at me—no matter which cookie cutter insult you’ve got for me—it will NEVER change the fact that I’ve done what I’ve done and you watched every single second of it—not in disgust, but in disbelief.
 
In just a matter of days, Nathan, you and I will step into an environment that is all-too familiar to me—in the same type of Hardcore Championship match that I built my early career on. You will step into the same slot as the likes of Captain Charisma and Hey Yo Chico and The Book of Wrestling, guys that you saw on your television screen but never even thought you’d stand with. I don’t know if you dreamed of moments like these, Nathan, but what I do know is that when the dust settles and you’re standing behind the curtain, waiting for your theme to hit while you know I’m standing in the ring at the top of my game like I have been year in and year out, you’re going to feel the sick nervousness in the pit of your stomach that you’ll never admit to. That’s the only thing you’re going to have in common with any of those guys I talked about, Nathan. Dream-come-true or not for you, I’m going to make sure to do what I do—notch another accomplishment on my resume. I’m going to show these people who you really are. And in doing so, Nathan, I’m going to show these people what I’ve always been.
 
(After those final words, Drastik turns his head to look at the camera and smirk. Only he and the Hardcore Championship hanging above him are illuminated by the bright white light of the room, his eyes glimmering hazel when he looks directly toward the camera. The lights cut out all at once and the screen is left pitch black, no sound coming from the shot at all. Solid white text flashes on the screen before the video package ends.)
   
SAIL

Less so is it that I think Judas was born of fear than it is that I simply can’t find it in me to care about his origins. When a merchant makes a sale, he usually doesn’t bother to personalize it for his customer; the only real matter of importance is the sale itself. By the same token, Matt Miles’ background and inspiration behind Judas isn’t something I care to deeply investigate. Whether his intent was to instill fear in other wrestlers, or to confirm to himself that all of those physical attributes allowing himself to compete at a world-class level were still present, it is of little consequence to me. When you’re focused on the main course, you tend not to worry about the background noise lagging behind everything else. But what I can’t seem to shake is just how delusional Matt Miles really is. There’s no denying Matt Miles has talent — not as much as me — but talent nonetheless. Rather than focus on his talent and prepare for Shock Value accordingly, he’s choosing to go a different route entirely. He is choosing — entirely of his own volition — delusion over reality. For a guy who swears he’s been “the most dominant elitist in EAW today” for the past seven months, he never bothers to stop and think why nobody else agrees with the notion. Now, I’ll go right ahead and admit it — these past seven months haven’t been as kind to me as I would like. I’ve gone through rigors that would dispirit men of less fortitude. But all of that aside, what Matt Miles has done is essentially create this post-facts pseudo-reality where all of the dominos fall in his favor and every fact is consistent with his agenda. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the overwhelming majority of these “facts” he’s spewing are just flagrantly false. But Matt Miles actually believes what he’s saying his true, he’s headstrong about his convictions, and so referring to them as “lies” is actually a misnomer in this case — which is why I’ve opted for “delusion.” During his stint as Judas, Matt Miles had an impressive showing in the Grand Rampage match and won the National Elite Championship. The problem is that Matt Miles thinks these almost-victories are actually worth something, almost as if he thinks he can just keep piling up losses and tally them up in the record books as half a victory because he “came close.” Even sadder, several gutter-trash simpletons in EAW share that ideology. You’ll see no such excuses for failure from me. It doesn’t matter that I “came close” to defeating Mr. DEDEDE and winning the Answers World Championship at Reckless Wiring. I lost. I don’t live in a world with moral victories; I live in a world of the tangible. But I guess in Matt Miles’ world, if you “almost win” the Grand Rampage, it ought to be as good as actually achieving the feat. I guess in Matt Miles’ world, if you’re playing Russian roulette and end up taking a fatal bullet to the brain, it doesn’t REALLY matter because you almost survived. In his alternate universe, you spin the wheel and land on death, it doesn’t matter because life was the adjacent option — so at least you came close! It just proves that Matt Miles has no actual understanding of how the world works. In a game of survival, the slimmest of margins decide life and death. In the game of life, it doesn’t matter if you came to within an inch of victory if you still end up snatching defeat from its jaws. You can waltz down the ramp with a whole head of steam and fervor only to get humiliated by a hunter turning you into his prey, but humiliation and embarrassment are just part of an aesthetic that doesn’t actually matter in the broader scheme of EAW. A loss is a loss in whatever form it comes. Whether you suffer through humiliation or narrowly lose in a tightly contested match, that isn’t going to change the numbers in the columns. More embarrassing than your warped perception of reality? The fact I actually outlasted you in the Grand Rampage. You talk about the match like it’s your baby, go around flapping your gums saying how nobody expected you to perform so well, and then you act like it doesn’t matter at all that I beat you. You hardly even make mention of it. I entered earlier than you and outlasted you. And if you ask me, the Grand Rampage has far bigger implications than some ho-hum exhibition match on Voltage — but because you didn’t win the match that was actually important, you spend more time talking up your big victory over me on Voltage. Guess what? That victory doesn’t matter. We’re not “joint number one contenders.” I’m the number one contender, and you’re the number two contender. And once I win at Shock Value and take the EAW Championship, you still won’t have any career-defining moment to speak of so you’ll resort to spending the rest of your shitty career talking about that one time you beat Y2Impact and how Judas fooled everyone — oblivious to the fact that nobody cares because you wrote checks with your mouth that your ass couldn’t cash in the ring when it really mattered.

Y'see, Matt Miles talks about me as if I’ve taken some sort of nosedive since my loss at Pain for Pride, claiming I’m clinging to my victory at Grand Rampage to act as though I haven’t done anything of note since. If Matt Miles ever needed a career change, he’d do a great job pretending to be a psychic — because if these bold-faced half-truths are any indication, conning people is what he does best. Matt Miles can brag about his cutesy little streak and his exhibition victories, and yet he turns a blind eye to the fact I’ve massacred every wrestler unfortunate enough to find themselves in my path over these past few weeks. I bloodied Nostalgia and sent him to the hospital — where I understand he is still staying. You won’t see him again in EAW. I handed Vic Vendetta his own ass on Voltage without so much as breaking a sweat. I did The Sanatorium a huge favor and took Phoenix Winterborn off television with another brutal beating. I dispatched Marco Fedor in short order, leading to a rift between him and his former comrade Keelan Cetinich. I can drive a wedge between people without even trying. You want to know else all of those men have in common? They didn’t even hit me. If you want to talk about dominance, look no further than what I’ve done these past few weeks. Your “streak” is something that comes and passes with the seasons; but this trail I’ve blazed in recent weeks has put me back in the rarefied air in which I belong. I already know you’re going to marginalize what I’ve achieved because you’re insecure of your own shortcomings — ones you’ve falsely claimed to correct. But don’t let that gaping void inside your soul fool you — I’ve been every bit as dominant as you have these past few weeks. I’ve effortlessly dismantled my competition. It took you everything you had and more to get a countout victory over me on Voltage — but you didn’t pin me. Yet you bloviate about your small-time victory like you just painted the Mona Lisa. At Shock Value, you won’t get off on a technicality. You won’t have recourse to fall back on or refuge to take comfort in. When you lose, let it be known that you were too busy defending the credibility of the wrestlers you faced in the past — and I was too busy preparing for my match at Shock Value uninhibited by sentimentality. When you lose at Shock Value, and you’re standing at the podium talking about how I shouldn’t have even been in the match — let it be known that while you fooled everyone else, that kind of hypocrisy is exactly what I expect from you. You’re the type to talk about how I’m not guaranteed a singles match at Pain for Pride and run around later on when nobody cares to question it that you should have been in a singles championship match yourself. There’s no real evidence that you come back quickly from your failures. You’ve been piling up victories ever since you returned as Judas. You haven’t experienced any sort of real failure. Maybe I can’t relate because I’m too busy focusing on World Championships, but if losing the National Elite Title turns you into a despondent piece of trash and that’s the kind of “setback” you’re claiming to have rectified, then in all truth you didn’t face any setback whatsoever. Maybe you’ve encountered some bumps in the road since you returned, but you’ve never fallen off a cliff. Your grip on the edge of the mountain hasn’t loosened simply because you’ve forgotten what it’s like to be on the edge of the mountain — and that will be your folly. Your whole career, you’ve been on the chase — but you’ve never made the catch. You can try and talk about the people I’ve beaten and how they “weren’t legends” when I faced them to trivialize my dominance and make my competition seem weak, but the fact is that while you’ve got wandering eyes, I’m too busy worrying about Shock Value to care about the outcomes of events from three, four, five years ago, let alone to make an impassioned defense of my competition and emasculate myself in the process like you’re doing. There’s a difference between sharing a mutual respect and kissing a man’s ass while they’re bending over backwards. That praise you heaped on Pizza Boy falls into the latter category — but that’s none of my fuckin’ business. Winning the EAW Championship IS my business. The moment you embarked on trying to prevent me from reaching that goal, you found yourself in my crosshairs. You’ll never find your way out.

But I will find my way in. One of EAW’s most questionable, eyebrow-raising phenomenas is this penchant their employees have for trying to erase the greatest accomplishments of their peers. You can win the headlining match of Pain for Pride, but if you make so much as the smallest note of it three months later, Bobby McCray from Battle Creek, Michigan will claim you’re “living in the past.” Every Tom, Dick, and Harry in that locker room will point their grimy fingers at you trying to get you to distance yourself from some of the most improbable and incredible feats ever achieved by man. They do it under the pretext of getting you to look to the future rather than basking in past glories, but that, too, is a thinly veiled sham. The real reason people who haven’t accomplished anything worthwhile desperately want to make others who have forget about their greatest achievements? Refer back to what I said — they haven’t accomplished anything worthwhile! If all I had to brag about was Spartan Cups and National Elite Championships and feuds with sawed-off midgets named Pizza Boy, shit, I wouldn’t say anything either. When your magnum opus is the average, you do everything conceivable to disempower the greats by telling them they’re not extraordinary. If I really had this predilection for the past Matt Miles is claiming I do, I’d be talking about each of my six World Championship reigns and how I won, who I defeated. I don’t care. If I don’t have seven World Championship reigns, I might as well have zero. If talking about the Grand Rampage — which happened just six months ago — is me looking for a “saving grace,” that’s Miles’ prerogative. I could talk about how I stifled Nathan Fiora’s rapid ascent and ended his undefeated streak shortly before he became the new Hardcore Champion, or the fact that my lack of wins before these past few weeks was almost entirely attributable to the fact I had no matches for over a month — but that’s not going to win me the EAW Championship. I’ve already earned my stripes, but I don’t feel complete. I don’t feel whole. Ever since returning, I’ve felt this endless longing like something was missing — like I’d lost the final piece to a puzzle that I’d once finished. I learned months ago that the missing piece was my seventh World Championship reign, but against Mr. DEDEDE and Ares Vendetta, I couldn’t find it. Where I had succeeded so many times before, I failed. That’s why I know the past isn’t important in the sense that it paves the way for future success, I’m not a brainless johnny-come-lately World Title virgin like Miles there, and yet I still have the capacity to understand everyone is a reflection of their habits. Matt Miles doesn’t. If he did, he’d understand that my most consistent habit is winning. He’d respect my chances at Shock Value. He wouldn’t bluster about how he just “knew” he was going to defeat me on Voltage three weeks ago like it was some sort of foregone conclusion. But rather than look at things open-endedly and stick to what made him successful since he returned — correcting his flaws, not fixating on his shortcomings, not letting himself get too high or low with a win or a loss — he’s become disinterested in anything other than the sound of his own voice. A screeching, ear-ringing sound that I’ll take pleasure in silencing at Shock Value after I win the EAW Championship. Matt Miles should feel fortunate to be in the ring with me this Saturday, really. While he doesn’t get to take home the EAW Championship, he has the opportunity to make history along with me. He has the opportunity to turn into a trivia question: “Who did Y2Impact defeat to win his record-breaking seventh World Championship reign?”

His name will be one of the answers to that question, and while he doesn’t appreciate it now — thinking that lightning will strike twice and he’ll get to sweep the rug out from underneath me again — he’ll appreciate it fifty years from now when he’s sharing the story of how he lost to The Quintessential Champion to his great grandkids. That’s what EVERYTHING boils down to, Matt Miles. This Saturday, I’m going to make history; you’ll just be part of it.

After all, even the stars need supporting casts.

I remember the night of Pain of Pride like it was yesterday. I was up all night in my hotel room, staring at my hands- the same very hands that struck my teammates with a chair. These are the hands that struck my former friends, the same hands that made my former lover scream in agony last time we crossed paths. Even now I wonder to myself: "How far will I go? How much longer did I need to walk this path before I get my point across?" 

I'll do whatever it takes. Even if you finally get it, I won't stop. You'll never know how it feels being on the other side, bereft of pride and self-respect! You ladies had the privilege of to not even consider my feelings cause- 'oh look! Tarah's doing something cool again! Let's take another selfie!' My former stablemates claimed they cared for me, but in actuality only long enough for their egos to allow. This is why I sold my world to the devil. I’m better off in the arms of darkness than in the company of fake ass friends.

I love how you talk so much shit Aria but yet have the cojones to take me on like a real bitch! You act so hard around your girls, but stay silent when nobody's around. Huh? What's that? Comparing me to your piece of shit ex!? Which one are you referring to? There's so many of them I lost count. I'm surprised Are last this long- too bad his title reign won't. Now that I think about it, you and Aren are the perfect couple. He betrayed Nas just like you betrayed me. God forbid if you two have a baby- I reeeeeeallly hope one of you can’t have kids. You’ll be doing the whole world a favor. Grasping at straws? How about I snap that skinny little neck of yours like a fucking twig! Now THAT would be doing the whole world a favor! You want to see someone who’s pretentious? Look in the mirror sweets. Listen to yourself for the past six months. Where’s the humility you used to have? Whatever happened to the girl who just wanted a chance? Once you won that title it all went out the window. Once you let Tarah in your life, you flipped the script. Should we forget how Maddie put you in your place a year ago in Brooklyn? Yeah, Eris defeated me, but I didn’t have a crown that I FAILED to cash in! But yet your ornery ass kept strutting around like last year’s Miss America! Your time WAS up sweets! You dropped the ball! Fuck outta here!

(points towards a door)

OUT! OUT! OUT!

I can't wait to see the look on your face when your team falls to pieces around you Ms. Jaxon. I want to see the helpless look in your eye once you realize your time is up. You're sick of me!? BITCH I'M SICK OF YOU!!! I’M (clap) SICK (clap) OF (clap) EVE (clap) RY (clap) THING (clap) A (clap) BOUT (clap) YOU! (clap)

I’m sick of your muppet ass makeup! I’m sick of your snoop dog-looking ass sniffing up around here! You want a bone bitch!? Aren’s is not enough for you!? (laughs) of course, nothing’s ever enough for you. And it’s not because you’re a hard worker- it’s because you’re greedy. You’re selfish. And trust me say what you want about the OGs, but their greed was EARNED. I used to say accolades don’t mean shit...but our accomplishments are the legacy we leave behind. I was in such an immature state when I left Formation, but now I can see why. I sat back and observed the Sirens for a while and man if I stuck around I would have been the BB of the group, or a Nicole Frye. Nothing more than a goon to do your bidding. Is that all I was to you ‘Ria? Just another block to add to your ever expanding ego? Figures. This is what I get for fucking with these Cali bitches. The irony is that I was born in San Diego. Heh, takes one to know one and all that jazz. Hmm...maybe we’re both in the wrong in this feud. I’m willing to admit that. But it’s too late to turn back. Our bridge is forever burned. That’s the way the business works huh? This is why I find comfort in the Coven of Sanatorium. I never have to worry about some Casper the friendly ghost-ass bitch tearing down what I spent the past six years trying to build! A friendship that was forged in love and trust only discovered be to paper thin. I would have fucked Tarah up if she talked shit about you! Know that and understand it. It would have cost me Cai, but bros over hoes right? I guess we were never that tight. I spent that night crying my fucking eyes out because of how much of a fool I was. It was my fault though. I was naive and it got me caught me out there. Being Eclipse’s sword is how I grieved, how I redesigned myself. I may not always see his vision the way he sees it, but I don’t need to see things his way to fight. You claim you care about these business? Then prove it to me. Fight me like the bad bitch you claim you are! I can’t get you alone, so I’ll settle for next week. 

Sher...Sher...Sher. It's worse than I imagined.

You're completely incapable of thinking outside of yourself for even a second. Are you afraid of what you'll find Sherball? Maybe you'll see an arrogant child who takes compliments for weakness who thinks stealing a title makes her a champion. The only thing efficient about you right now is your consistency of spouting the same bullshit about me and my team over and over in these verbal blocks of text! It's like I can see the words formulating from the top of your head like some kind of cheap VHS subtitle! Stick to dubbing sweets- or rather let dub stick to you...

See bitch? You're not the only one who can talk shit about someone's love life.

Speaking of which, this is further evidence that you're just like a certain quiet pasty church mouse! Just another vixen with an elitist stick up her ass. You're all the same. Hell, You’re even romantically linked to the Hall of Fame champion…(sighs). Okay Sheridan Nova, I see where you’re going with this. I guess we’re all going to lose to you at the next Pain for Pride? Are you going to try and ‘lead us’ now? Do you have some kind of 100-day plan I should know about? You ain’t go shit. That’s because you are shit Sher. Your gimmick, your book, your suplex, it’s all shit. Time to get my shovel...

Know what I like about you Cailin? No matter what, you never change. Eye on the prize and all that. Don’t get me wrong- I still hate your fucking guts, but not for what you think. We should discuss that in private...one day. For now, I will say this: you’re not the only one who considers herself to be a fighter. All I know is competition Cai. I live it, breathe it, and I’m stronger today than I was yesterday. This belief we have, this ‘eat, sleep, challenge, repeat’ lifestyle is what attracted me to you in the first place. I feared that Tarah tamed you, but I can see that fire in your heart still lingers. Good sweets, because you’re going to need every ounce of fucking skill, power, and speed when fighting me. You’re going to need all the tricks and tips as if you’re reading Nintendo Power on a Saturday morning in your pjs. As long as you keep getting up, I’ll keep coming for you sweets. If this is what we’re destined for, then so be it. I’ll fight you for the rest of my life if it makes me a stronger warrior.

Haruna, Haruna, Haruna. Based on your recent feats, I would say that you’re the one I’m concerned about the most. But, I know a few secrets about you that I’m going to reveal anyway, because that’s what gorillas do (sticks tongue out). We fuck shit up, just like I’m going to fuck up your face. And maybe, just maybe I’ll fuck your…(starts laughing) Hahahaha! Wait! Wait! Is the past really repeating itself right now? Am I forever stuck in these endless fuckboy of a loop with you!? Are we going to be doing this schoolyard shit every late fall Haru-chan? How many times must we fight before we’re just like ‘fuck it’ and climb into my bed. You know you wanna sweets (kissing sounds), Come on sweets (kiss). You (kiss) know (kiss) you (kiss) wanna (kiss). You must be tense...it’s been like several weeks since you got some? Don’t worry, your baby is sound asleep on my futon as we speak. She has a match to prepare for after all, and whatever anger she has for you - which I hear is a lot - will have to be put to better use. I’m rooting for my sisters in the battle royal, but I wouldn’t be upset of Azumi won. Her with that contract...me eventually bullying ‘Ria out of her trophy...and of course, JET as tag fucking champions. 2017 is already looking good for me.

Time to take out the old and bring in the new ladies. Like Hillary, you had a good run, but your best just wasn’t good enough. Should’ve placed your bets on the ‘socialist Jew’.

Feel the Bern, ladies. Feel the Bern…

(Lights a match as the camera zooms in on it before fading out)

I sold my world to the Devil and he gave me the universe.

Okay okay so first of all I just wanted to express how happy I am that Donald J. Trump has won the election, and is just 66 days away from becoming the President of the United States! Personally I hope he is what every irrationally scared lefty baby is saying he will be. I'm surrounded by cucky liberals who've been pissing their pants and diluting their lattes with their liberal tears, crying over how "evil and oppressive" Trump is going to be towards certain groups like gays, Hispanics and women. But really, it's hard for me to find a problem with any of that! Especially the third part... as I always say, I'm totally down for a brave alpha male to come into power and finally take away women's rights. Really, I always have been! I have no problem taking one for the team TBH (tee-bee-eich), especially considering how dreadful women just are in general. It's like these whores don't know their place anymore, it's sickening!

Just look at my opponents at Shock Value. "Team Sirens", as they're called. A buncha broads who think they have what it takes to go up against legends, against some of the greatest to ever do it! After taking one look at Sheridan Mooler, for example, who I suppose is meant to be the team leader since she's the Vixens Champion; you can't help but wonder why the hell women still have any say in anything whatsoever in this world? This Hitlerbitch has the nerve to come to AMERICA, home of the free, land of the brave, and tout her German Efficiency bullshit. Hey Hitlercunt, if Germany is so efficient, why did you guys get your asses handed to you in two world wars? Why are you being run by a terrible leader named Angela Merkel who allows migrants to come in and rape your women en-masse while your diplomats sit there with their dicks in their hands and do fuck all? Germany is EVERYTHING but efficient, and it's evident in how bad of a champion you are. You won that Vixens Championship off of a fluke, and you haven't been an impressive champion ever since, hence why your win was a fluke. You were thrown into this clusterfuck scenario named "The Sirens", which I guess is the retarded stepchild version of The Formation, and predictably so you've come to tout "German Efficiency" while your country is reaching Sweden levels of cuckery and you willingly sell away your democracy. I already beat you once before, Mooler, and clearly anyone who has to call themselves efficient at the ungodly rate that you do has some sort of self esteem issue. It's a sad day when the Vixens Champion is the weak link of their 5 on 5 tag team match, but honestly other than Haruna you look like the prime candidate for just that. The weak link.

Speaking of weakness, Hiiii Tarah! How are you giirl. I guess now that Sheridan's on your team you don't have to be the one holding everyone else down now. I mean you still are a cancer to anything you're a part of, but at least you're not the worst thing going, isn't that nice? Lord knows you hold everyone around you down. Lord knows you suck the life out of everyone around you, lord knows everything you touch seems to wither away and die - much like your relationship with my uncle.  I swear, I am an ORACLE! I think I gave a bitch cunt like you too much credit. I gave you what, like four to six months left together? But now it's like you're nowhere to be found with him! From the stuff I'm hearing it doesn't look like I'll be seeing you at the Adams Thanksgiving dinner. For shame, to think we were sorta kinda somewhat starting to get along! That was sarcasm, in case you were too dense to understand it. Anyway, now that my uncle isn't making you worth a fuck anymore I wonder if you're going to fight this match with any sliver of purpose. I mean, in our last match I damn near snapped the fuck outta your arm. The referee had to pull me off of your pasty ass to avoid me severing your arm from your socket. What kind of "Vixens Killer" becomes put at the mercy of DDD's supposed bratty niece, hmm? I mean I know that's all you bitches see me as anyway, so if that's all I am, then what does that make you? I think all you are, and all you've really ever been is a cum rag that's been used up, washed off and passed around to the next guy. No wonder why you're so white, it's all of that cum you consume on the daily basis. You're a shell a champion who's stick in the hell of obscurity, nothing compared to what people once thought she was, and all anyone sees you as good for is the tabloids where your relationships are closely covered. You were useless to the Demon's Council, you were useless to Zach Genesis, and you are useless to my uncle. You're useless to The Sirens, you're by far the least relevant one in that group, I mean for fucks sake man didn't you lose to "Aquaman"? You realize that's the bitch the Formation kicked out for being so weak, right? You lost to the woman who you teased and clowned and called "Aquaman" out of being inferior, so I ask, ghostbitch, what the fuck does that make you? You're about as useless to Empire as Aquaman was to The Formation, and at least you can make a case that The Formation died after Stephanie Matsuda left. Empire wouldn't blink if you were to disappear, like the pale cumbucket that you are. In fact, no one would care; The Sirens would move on, Empire would move on, my uncle would move on - if he hasn't already - and EAW will move on without you. Hopefully I can get the chance to put you in the Kimura again, because if you ever find yourself caught in the Killer Queen's Rhapsody again, I promise you I'm putting you on the shelf.

Who else who else. Harunaaaaa! That's right! I almost forgot you were on the team! Sounds about right for the most forgettable person, male or female, in EAW. I love how people try to talk down to me like I'm just some stuck up rich kid who waltzed into a contract here, but you have LOSERS like Haruna who literally form career highlights based off of losses, and they don't get the same kind of flack. The best moment of your career was when Tarah Nova defeated you at Pain for Pride, which is ironic because it was also the last time anyone ever cared about you or wanted you to succeed. Tell me I'm lying. Since Pain or Pride 8, people gave up on you, and that's because you're a lost cause and not a worthy investment. All you've done since then was hammer that point home. You already tried your hand at an OG in HBG, and you couldn't hang. You couldn't do it dear. Sometimes I ask my uncle whenever I get the chance to see him, about why the hell did he ever invest in Tarah Nova? He's made better investments in training a rookie HBG, than he ever did dating a thing like her. But then I look at how EAW used to prop you up and I can't help but ask EAW why the hell they ever gave half a crap about you? At this point people just feel sorry for you. You're a charity case, a barely literate one at that. You're also a dishonor to your family, a disgrace to your village, your ancestors should have been raped and pillaged by Gengis Khan, your great grandparents should have been the blast radius of the nukes dropped on Hiroshima. You're a failure and disgrace in every level, you don't even know how to be Japanese right. Japanese chicks don't act like you! Japanese women are supposed to be demure, soft spoken and calm, but you whore yourself out as bad as any of these other ratchet thots in the back. You're all over social media, leading guys on, dyking it up with any and every joshi, and documenting your shitty boring lame life. Take a hint: nobody cares. Nobody cares about you, your awful career, or your worthless life. Commit suicide.

Next up, another opponent of mine, Aria Jaxon. Aria actually managed to earn a little bit of my respect by defeating me fair and square not too long ago on Empire. I'd be foolish to sit here and bash her all night, so I don't have much slander for her. Even if her face does look like it went through a trash compactor, even if she is an animal in the face, even if her edges are in space, even if her boyfriend is an off-brand Methuselah, even if she has a losing record against most of my team mates, even if she is a complete and total hypocrite, even if she is an illogical bitch and a lying whore. Despite all these things, I'll give her this, she's a pretty good wrestler. My recent loss to her motivates me more to go in this weekend at Shock Value and see to it personally that I defeat her and her clown haired little friend.

Cailin Dillon, last but not least, it will be my distinct honor and privilege to make sure that you are forced to bow before The Killa Queen. I know your head is so gassed up from being Empress of Elite, so I know you think you're hot shit. You're not. You're not shit. At least, you won't be when I'm done with you. My main purpose in competing at Shock Value is to knock the wind out of your sails. I know a little bit about you Cai Cai, I know you're a bumpkin little bitch at heart, I know you grew up in nothing but shit and had to fight your way out of the mud you wrestled pigs in to wrestle royalty like me. But deep inside I know green acres is the place for you, and you long to go back to them. ♫GREEEEEEN ACRES IS THE PLACE FOR YOU! FAAAAAARM LIVIN' IS THE LIFE FOR YOU! LAAAAAAND SPREADIN' OUT SO FAAR AAND WIIDE, KEEP EMPIRE YOU WANT THAT COUNTRY SIDE!♫  Green acres is the life for you, Cailin! There's a snake in your boot, and it's not wrestling boots cowgirl! All I want to do is send you back to the green acres you came from. It's the life for you! I made a promise that I'd personally eliminate your Siren-mates Tarah and Aria at Shock Value, but I have no problems adding you to that list. I know a lot about your confidence, because I have the same confidence. But while you stumbled into this, riding in on a mule from whatever shitheap in middle America you came from, I was bred for this. You may be Empress of Elite, but I was raised to inherit the kindgom. The meek will not inherit the earth. The meek will go back to being the meek when the OG's take their place, and I rise in the ranks, I move up in the world, and I become an OG myself. 

I know you simpletons look at my ambition and think I'm just getting ahead of myself. Keep thinking that. You know as well as I know that I'm about as deserving to be on Team OG as anyone else. The only difference between me and any of my teammates is timing. If I had joined EAW in 2012 or even 2014 I would have easily qualified as an OG. If Cleo-fucking-Patra can be heralded and regarded as one of the greatest Vixens of all time for holding the title for a year and only having two title contenders, then I'm worthy of consideration, am I not? The bitch who is backstage holding mics up to peoples faces was once HBG's biggest competition for the EAW Vixens Championship. Cameron Ella Ava literally had to compete with men, because there were no women worth competing against. And Kendra? Kendra got credit literally just for fucking being here for half of her career. I won't deny that my partners are amazing wrestlers, but I'm not as far as you think from that category. You dumbasses are just like the liberal animals protesting in the streets right now, you want a meritocracy when it suits you. Every other time? Who gives a shit, again, so long as it suits you. So I'm working only in the interest of what suits me. Fuck a meritocracy, unless it suits me. I'll prove that I'm worthy of being considered one of the best, by defeating the best. Even if 5 has to become 4, and 4 has to become 3, and 3 has to become 2, and I take them all down 1 by 1. Empire is mine for the taking, and I'm coming for tha throne. Don't expect me to do it? Then like Trump winning the presidency, maybe you can appreciate the shock value when I do.