[size=13]The Ryan Wilson Show presents: The Book of WilsonA peek at the life of an up and comer.This week: Week Three - Promo TwoVoltage Record: 0 Win 2 Loss 0 Draw
Opponents: Harvey Yorke, Ghost Nathan Fiora, Ghost Azrael, Cody Marshall, El Ironico, Ghost Axl Willow, Shaker Jones
Stipulation: Electric Gauntlet
Show: SHOCK VALUE 2017
No. of words: 2,345 Reading time: About 8 minutes 30 seconds
Chapter Title: One last time before the Shocking Conclusion''JESUS H CHRIST! Holy Jumping Jacks! Saint sacrament de cibole du bon Dieu! Cody! Buddy! Quick question: Can you be any less entertaining? People are paying top dollars to hate you or like you, could you PLEASE make an effort and give them a reason to cheer or jeer your sorry ass? For frak sake man! Your short movie? Cringe worthy! I can do better with a DV recorder bought on discount at Target (Black Friday's tomorrow by the way) and a script written on a napkin while I'm eating at Wendy's on the road to Tampa! Who is your Director? Uwe Boll? (Bastard wrecked great video game franchises with his shitty movies!!) Michael Bay? No, there would've been explosions and Megan Fox in your ~flick~ if he was. M. Night Shyamalan? Who here doesn't agree that this name is worthy of a low level Pathfinder campaign? Paul Feig? (Sonovabitch destroyed my childhood with Ghostbusters 2016!!) Nah, it's none of them. Only one guy can come up with won't-even-be-sold-in-bargain-bin-at-Value-Village quality of ~movies~ and believe it's a master piece. That's you Cody. I mean, you are so full of it that you don't see how hard you're about to smack your face against the brick wall that it Shock Value. You are not an A-Lister, you're a No-Lister! You're some somebody you are A-Nobody! (Good one Ryan!) Thanks man! You can approve every messages your want Bub, doesn't make you suck less. You are the only one who held the New Breed Championship among us Hateful 8. Okay, I got two questions for you then:
1 - Who the frak cares?
2 - Why are you still around the New Breed Championship when you can gun for bigger and better things?
Don't you have the (ahrem) skills to be somewhere better? Aiming for another title? Showcase what you can do against other superstars? I'll tell you what you really are Cody, you are a faire valoir! You're in this match so that us young bloods can trample you and look good! You know what that means in the movie industry? Let's say Shock Value was a movie, your role is not Primary! It's secondary! Heck you're the guy that gets the short end of the stick so that the main character can shine! You are a Red Shirt in Star Trek! You won't make it to the final act! Moi? I'm Lead Actor! And at the FPV I will beat it into you and 6 other secondary characters. Don't worry, you have a good part to play in my rise to stardom here in EAW. You'll probably get award for best secondary role too. Ryan Wilson is rating, Ryan Wilson sits butts in seats, you? Hell if you keep trying to make fun of Harvey's short comings and look like a 15 year old with insecurity issues you'll be lucky to have your ugly mug filmed in an Infomercial! (You're not going to address his Kevin Spacey comment?) Nah, I'll let him dig his own hole, he already looks retarded enough as it is.
Enough of you for now, let's move to something else. Something better.
Harvey Yorke, the Saint who says he isn't one really. I'm intrigued by that mentality to be honest, you say you are still yourself yet you act like a Savior. You are no Negan you know, more like Carl (Look at this
little bad ass! Right?) Yup Mister Fourthwall that's right! Only you don't have a missing eye but hey with what you're telling me I know in the end you're blind or at least visually (If not Mentally) impaired! Now, about screaming that I have something to prove, basically you're telling the World that I flip flop from being face to heel to face to heel. Euh, hello? It's a little something called being a Tweener! Do I really have to give you a wrestling knowledge lesson? You the Savior of Voltage? The leader of the 2 or 3 sheeps that think you're cool? C'mon man, you're better than that! Try to be original, going on repeating what others said to be before (Grier and Wakefield telling me I won't have many opportunities) that's just bore talk! If you want to lul me to sleep with your words while I watch your video on my tablet that's the only ~win~ you're going to get out of this whole thing. So quick dicking around man, you claim to be a bastard who can't get the job done? Ha! Now that's Just For Laughs material! You're a bastard who can't get it done, how do you aspire to be a Savior if you keep thinking the way you do? At least I have a realistic approach to my tenure here in EAW! But in the end I'm going to get what I want. May not be at Shock Value, may not be next month, maybe it will be who knows right? But in the end what Ryan Wilson wants Ryan Wilson always finds a way to get! It's just a hard fact of life man. It's part of my track record. Look at my Wiki, you'll see what I mean. (He won't look.) I know.
Of course you will have your chance at backing up your words, to prove that there is no opportunity on Voltage as long as you're around. But I made a career so far of proving people wrong in the end when it's all said and done. No opportunity for us? My answer to that is simple: Bitch Please! It's not up to you. Are you General Manager? No? Then keep talking meaningless because all your words are devoid of significance! You will be able to get through Shaker, Willow. Maybe you'll be able to go through Azrael, you'll have a breeze against Cody and then I'll be in your way. You are here to spread the truth? I'm here to open your eyes and show you not the truth but reality! I'm your reality check baby! I'm everyone's wake up call! And the reality is the Ryan Wilson Show will take off to new heights comes Shock Value! I'm gonna take the opportunity and I'm going to run with it! You? Like all others you'll be crying wolf! Perhaps even cry a little! But please don't, most of you already look stupid enough as it is you don't need to add more! I'll finish by saying this: Bring your ultra-violence to the ring man! I'll bring my unique blend of it myself! Let's Shock the opposition! Let's shock the World! I'm going to show you my brand of violence, I'll show all of you, and I'm going to fucking love it! Now who's next...
EL IRONICO!!! That's who's next!
The first to have shipped something after my original promotional salvo! I was wondering when any of these blokes would say anything! I guess we were all playing the waiting game, to see who would shoot first! I got bored, so I took the initiative. I knew you would come up with something half decent this week, good on ya lad! We're agreeing on something: Cody is a cunt, then again so is Harvey and Fiona with their attitudes so firmly jammed up their asses. On some aspects, you and I we could get along but that's not going to happen tomorrow night.
You know my honest opinion? I think you're the man to beat tomorrow night. Other than me I mean. To be honest I don't think the Bore-llywood Super ~star~ holds a candle against you, much less a mic from what I've seen. Azrael is intense but you won't have a chance to face him if I eliminate him before you have a shot at the gauntlet. Fiora? Fio-who? Fio-where? Fio-what? His reality will be under my foot or yours at Shock Value. The Saint will be (Wait for it) crucified for his sins and then there's Axl Willow who's barely worth a sentence. (Ouch...) So you see Ironico, it's going to be down to toi ou moi at the FPV and should you win I believe it's going to be one hell of a match because you aren't lying when it comes to the fact that you know the New Breed Champion more than anyone else. Want another fact? He knows you just as well! So should you win in a shocking manner you will have to pull a few rabbits out of your hat to be able to one up him enough to beat Finny-boy. But you're not there yet, you have a lot of road to travel on before you can even have the legit chance to face him and the road ends at Shock Value against 7 other guys that wants the same thing as you. Only... We both know there is only two of them that truly wants it bad enough to go all in! Us two masked men, we'll go the extra miles, we'll do the over time needed to push everybody else over the ledge so that we are the ones (One of us rather) on top of the cliff with our arms raised proudly in the air!
By the way a little jab at the Champ just for kicks: I don't need 6,755 words to get my point across! (Gotta love analytics sometimes!)
Ever heard of Too Long Didn't Read? Jesus... You throw so many words in there that your message, if you ever had one, gets lost under the deluge of letters you mixed together to make your word ragout.
Back to Sir Ironic!
I'm thrilled about your expectations! You want the best to come out of my Super Hero Pyjama ass! Expect no less! Because I know I'll see the best out of you. Not like some other slackers we're facing who I'll verbally abuse in a few minutes. You sir are making me look most forward to the match! I'm glad to know you think you're not as easy to wind down as your Champion-wearing partner, I'm psyched even! Because I know you're bringing your Triple A Game (Was that a gaming industry reference??) and because of this I'm going to have so much fun once we cross path in the gauntlet! Shocking you out of our match will be unfortunate but the goal is to win after all right? And when it comes to games and winning, needless to say I'm a Hardcore Gamer. You too I'm proud to say, some others in our match however are nothing less than casual gamers.
So what I'm saying, if I'm saying anything, is good luck.
Who's next on the list of social degenerates who's jaw I'm gonna curb stomp like in that one movie. Ah yes!
The Shaker! Shake Shake Shake! You gonna Shake yo Booty? Shake yo Booty? Oh! (Oh Lord...) Let me tell you something: If your milkshake brings all the boys in the yard I'm not gonna judge ya, I mean, you do you right? Ah shit... I'm trying to make a pun with Harlem Shake and I got nothing, but that's okay because the same goes for you: You got nothing on me. You think you sound smart talking about my 0 and 2 losing streak? Want to talk about your 14 loses buddy? (Oh snap son!)
There is something that you and everyone on the Voltage roster needs to understand about me: I want the best to come out of my opponent. Let's go back to my NEO days, when I faced their best asset he it started nice, then it got intense and near personal. I had to push buttons and pull triggers to bring the mean out of Reynolds I mean the real bad ass in him. And the matches we had together were AWESOME because of it. So do you really, and I mean really think I'm scared or will regret if you bring the extreme Sunday? Bitch! I triple dog dare you to do it! Hell I triple dog dare the others jerk offs too! Because I won't settle for anything less! I want to face my opponents at their best! Giving me their worse! Bring in the sadism! The merciless! Bring the mean! The unforgiving! Bring the violence! Bring the blood! The pain! BRING... IT... ALL!
I guess I should finish by saying a few words to Axl Willow, Azrael or Nick Fiora.
Nah, not gonna bother much! Why would I waste my precious (My preeecii...) Zip it Golum!! Why would I spend energy on blokes that don't seem to care? I despise Ghost Promoters (Who you gonna call? GhostBusters!) more than I hate a ketchup stain on my sexy outfit. I mean, what does it tell you of an opponent who doesn't do half of what he's paid to do eh? How does that transpire in his or her in-ring performance? Sure, between the time I post this marvel of literature (Aren't you pushing it a bit?) and the FPV they might have deemed it a good idea to grace us with their weekly writing manifesto but the fact remains that they had the whole week to try and impress us with their articulate use of words resulting in a promo for me and the others to tear apart. What's their excuse? The don't have a valid one I tell you what right now. (I'm going out there at Shock Value and I plan to Shock the EAW! My opponents can expect nothing else but an Electrifying performance on my end! If they aren't ready for it, they'll get buzzed out!
In the end boys, you're all going to be Psyched Out! You're all going down at the hands of this trash talking talented no class clown!
I'm going to abuse ya'll, all seven of you, until you lose. And in the end you're gonna all go on home and pout!
That's right! I used the words of my new amazing theme song to close this promo!
And that, as they say, just happened!
#MicDrop #IAintAfraidOfNoGhost[/size]
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