“Sucker for Pain”
Post-Empire.
(Cloud is dressed in her street clothes, emptying her locker with Mao on standby. Maria Gonzalez walks up to the duo with her mic in hand.)
Maria: Stephanie Matsuda, a word?
Cloud: Yeah, shoot.
Maria: Tonight, you completed dominated in your match against Erica Ford- including a MASSIVE back body drop from outside the ring! Do you feel Azumi’s interference played a part in your victory?
Cloud: (sighs) Whether it did or not isn’t the point. The point is Maria, in war, one must be ready for anything. Back in my Sky Princess days I used to whine and complain when a match didn’t go my way. These days, I take responsibility for the outcome of my match. Erica’s problem was that she was unfocused. Now she’s somewhere in the middle of Oregon with Azumi doing only God knows what to her. (shakes her head) Getting kidnapped in Oregon...is there a fate worse than that!?
Maria: Speaking of Azumi, I saw you take a knee during the National Anthem. Was that a sign of solidarity with Colin Kaepernick? If so, I didn’t know you were an activist!
Cloud: Just because I bust heads week after week, and hate on The Sirens doesn’t mean I’m not aware of what’s going on in the world. Matter of fact, I was at a
#BlackLivesMatter meeting last month. Do you see that Pink Judas out there marching? Nope! Then again, I hear she cares more about Russian politics these days…
Mao: Or poli-dick-
Cloud: (laughs) Shut yo mouth!
Mao: I can’t help it! You’re a terrible influence!
Cloud: I never said I was a hero Mao. Anyways Maria, yes I took a knee which made the Caspers and Beckys in the audience furious with me. Good. I draw strength from their hate...their salt flows through my veins!
Mao: And if they hated that…
Cloud: They’re surely gonna hate it when I stop Haruna Sakazaki dead in her tracks in her ever botching quest for gold! I mean what makes her think she even DESERVE a title shot!? Huh!? Then again, she was always a child Maria. She’s one hell of a partner- don’t get me wrong, but as a singles competitor there’s still work that needs to be done. She’s no different than The Sirens, jumping in line when the opportunity suits them. Matter of fact, those OG Vixens pull the same shit.
Maria: So you consider yourself to be an outsider in this battle for Empire?
(Mao and Cloud laugh)
Cloud: Maria dear...that’s the irony about all of this. I already own Empire. They just don’t know it because they have their heads up their asses! Once they’re finished destroying each other, I’m going to walk over their bodies and sit on the throne that rightfully belongs to me! And then our precious GM will have no choice but to sit there and watch as I ECLIPSE her title reign…
Maria: I see what you did there-
Cloud: No you didn’t. Because if you did, you would still have a career as a Vixen. Nobody can see me Maria, and if they claim they do, they’re only saying that because they want to avoid The Reality that dark clouds are coming to Thursday nights and when the time is right...LIGHTNING SHALL STRIKE DOWN FROM THE CLOUDS OF WAR UPON THE UNWORTHY! (shakes her head) None of them deserve shit- except maybe Sheridan. She’s the only one other than myself I would consider to be a true warrior! As for the rest...just shells of their former selves. The Vixens were once a proud group of valkyries, roaming the scorched battlefields of the Land of the Elite. Now they’re just a bunch of power hungry bimbos! And Haruna Sakazaki is the worst of them! That’s right, I haven’t forgotten about my opponent next week! She was nodding her head earlier like I’m going to be some kind of walk in the park!? (laughs) Her secret girlfriend is about to have another ex to cry over?
Maria: Her secret ex? Who is-
Cloud: None of your damn business! That’s a need to know basis! Anywho, when she walks down that aisle and take a look in my eyes...she’s going to realize that she won’t get anywhere near Claudia. And after I’m done with her, that Pokemon-playing hussie is next! There’s nobody that can stop my momentum Maria G. I can fly with the best of them. I can talk shit and knock Ruby back to Tuesdays with Morrie, or I can declare my contempt for The Sirens via a five page manifesto about how awesome I am and how much they suck just like they do. I’m getting sick of their ten minute videos about nothing! They have NOTHING to say Maria! Just like Sakazaki doesn’t have a clue in that impulsive brain of hers about how to stop me!
(yanks the mic from Maria and walks to the camera)
Cloud: Let me help you out Haruna-chan. You’re going to hop and skip your way into the ring with those stupid glowsticks of yours and the moment you enter my ring you’re going to realize you’re in a minefield. A minefield of technical skill, unbeatable brawn, and flawless agility. Each move you make will be used against you and somewhere in that head of yours while I’m busting that ass you’re going to think (Japanese accent) “Oh no! I fuck up big time! My pride broken! Cloud too strong!” You may be rich in cash and spirit Haru, but you’re poor in planning ahead! A poor girl who nobody loves...except maybe that psychotic grinning idiot of a gf...in case you haven’t realized...I know.
Maria: Know what-
Mao: SHUT UP!
(Mao flinches and Maria jumps)
Cloud: Thank you Mao-san.
Mao: You’re welcome Steph-san-
Cloud: Sama.
Mao: (sighs) Sama.
Cloud: We’ve been through this dance before Haru, and each time ended with you trying to get over, or The Sirens pulling some bullshit. Next week you don’t have to worry because I’ll show you just how inept you are and how reliant you were on my superior tactics. Yes, you’re a team player, but my brain is what helped us win those matches. Now I could have gone easy on you...I could have talked about how awesome of a partner you are and how lucky I am to be facing you, but I know better Haruna. I know a thing or two about the DSM-V and you’re just as bipolar as they come! Those highs where you think you’re better than everyone to those lows where you threaten both career and physical suicide…(sighs) I’m not taking any chances with you sweets. You’re nothing but a sucker for pain, even in the face of overwhelming odds. That’s not bravery or pride dear...that’s just pure stupidity.
Mao: (Haruna voice) But you know nothing of bravery you coward!
Cloud: (laughs) Okay you Japanese Charlie Brown. We’ll see who misses the football next week. Oh by the way...in case you didn’t know...you just been ethered.
Mao: Dead. Ass.
(Cloud drops the mic as Maria fails to catch it, tripping over Cloud’s foot in the process.)
Cloud: Oops. My bad.
(walks away, laughing with Mao in tow.)
Cloud’s voice: (off camera) THE EMPIRE’S MINE ASSHOLES!
by 
Topic: 
Subject: