10/24/2016 – Front Door of EAW headquarters - 8:59 AM (A press conference is being held in front of EAW headquarters where the press is waiting for the address over something that happened on the October 21, 2016 edition of Dynasty. Sebastian Monroe approaches the podium) Monroe: Welcome and thank you for joining us at this press conference. It is my understanding that one of our employees may have offended some of you. Some things were said, and some things were done, and let me just remind all of you that we do not condone that type of behavior. Please not associate his actions with how we run this business. As Elite Answers Wrestling, we strive to provide the best form of entertainment for all of our fans. But as for now, let us proceed with the issue at hand. On October 21, 2016, one of our newest signee, Moongoose McQueen had won a match. Shortly after the match, there was an “interference” in our systems, where the ending was interrupted for a message from one of our other seasoned employees. Now fortunately, viewers at home were able to see just that. However, Moongoose McQueen, furious that his victory was interrupted proceeded to, “Curse profusely in front of children, harassing fans, destroying private property and belongings, obscene gestures, indecent exposure in which his bare butt was exposed, and threatening to kill whomever was responsible.” All in a matter of 15 seconds. Now unfortunately, for the amount that we pay him, which isn’t a lot, in exchange, Mr. McQueen has a contract that doesn’t allow us to fire him under these circumstances. His contract, here, and I quote, “Bitch please, I probably have more money than the guy that owns this company. Just give me the same salary amount you pay the least amount to someone here. Probably a Vixen. But in return, my contract cannot be terminated for these following reasons.” It is a very long list, and we don’t have all day to discuss. But this brings us to today’s conference, where Moongoose McQueen has not only paid the fines for breaking the law and violating EAW’s policies, but he will be issuing a public apology. (Moongoose McQueen, in a black sequin suit with sunglasses bursts out of the EAW front doors as the crowd boos. McQueen approaches the podium.) McQueen:…..
(clears throat) Now I know why you have all gathered here today. As a man, are we not allowed to have faults. After all, it is from our mistakes that we learn and better ourselves. We aren’t perfect, but we can certainly strive to be perfect. With that said and done, I apologize for spoiling the Walking Dead hours before the premiere of the latest season. I should not had tweet that “James Knight’s EAW Career is as dead as Abraham and Glenn.
#TWD #EAW #DrugsAreBadM’kay”
(The assistant grabs McQueen by the shoulder and whispers in his ears) McQueen: I’m not apologizing for that? But people were so butthurt about that? Fine… FINE!! I apologize for causing a scene at McDonalds over one missing McNugget. It was a matter of principles.
(Assistant whispers in his ears) Not it either? Ok. It is about the time I broke into a zoo and freed all the kangaroos?
(Assistant shakes his head.) McQueen: Running around the city in my underwear yelling I am a Jedi?
Assistant: Nope
McQueen: Constantly making fun of fans’ favorite EAW’s LGBT figure?
Assistant: No, Sir.
McQueen: Good, because I’m never going to apologize for making fun of Nick. Is this about the time I grabbed that woman by the pussy? I had really low blood sugar. I got a little dizzy and next thing you know, I reached my hand out to grab something, fell forward, and when I regained consciousness, she was screaming hysterically “SEXUAL HARASSMENT!! It’s actually a sweet story guys. This is how I met my wife.
Assistant: No, NO!!
McQueen: THEN WHAT THE FUCK AM I HERE TO APOLOGIZE ABOUT?
(The Assistant whispers in McQueen’s ear.) McQueen: Oh.. THAT?!! Oh, no, I’m not apologizing for that. So I said a few bad words and showed the world my glorious ass. You’re welcome, world, but I was being disrespected. I have every right to be angry and did the things I did. Were my actions wrong? Yes, but what are you going to teach your kids, parents? That cursing is wrong and destroying thing is frowned upon or would you rather teach your kids if someone doesn’t show them proper respect, they shouldn’t do anything at all? What kind of stupid lesson is that to teach? You want to know why I’m here and why I am still with this company? Because I am by definition, living the American Dream, being the true success that I am today, I am role model. See, now you will all now know exactly what kind a man Moongoose McQueen is. I do whatever I want, how I want, and while that behavior has brought me some trouble, that same behavior has allowed me to command the respects of my peers. Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t go around asking for trouble. I’m not the type of guy that looks for the biggest guy in the locker room and punch him in the face to prove how tough I am. It just so happens, Trouble has a way of coming to me, and last Friday was no exception when I my victory was interrupted. My actions last week were simply a case where some “big shot” thinks he can tell me to move out of his way and me planting my foot to the ground instead and pushing back and telling them to move. I am the victim here.
Reporter 1: Mr. McQueen. Can you explain the video that was released shortly after the show.
McQueen: I have no idea what you are talking about.
Reporter 1: Roll out the tv. We are talking about the viral video of you assaulting a camera man.
McQueen: I still don’t know what you are talking about.
Reporter 1: We want the truth.
McQueen: YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE FUCKING TRUTH!!!
Reporter 1: Play the video.
(The viral video shows McQueen in the camera room during the middle of the show. McQueen has one of the crew members pinned to the wall.)10/21/2016 - Backstage of Dynasty (Camera Room) - 8:23 PM McQueen: Why did you interrupt me?!! HUH?!! How can I show off the merchandise if you pull off crap like this. What is the first rule of working the camera?
Crew: Help me…!!
McQueen: (slaps the crew member) Don’t look at him… Look at me.. (slap) What is the first rule? (slap slap slap). Keep.
Crew: Keep?.....
McQueen: The Camera….. on the star. SAY IT!! (slap)
Crew: Keep the Camera on the star.
McQueen: (slap) Good, now why did you break that rule?
Crew: Will someone please get this guy off… (slap slap slap)
McQueen: I told you to look at me, not at him. Now answer the question.
Crew: It’s on the fuckin’ schedule.
McQueen: (slap) ….. LANGUAGE!! And let me see. (McQueen rips the schedule out of his hand)….. Opening, Senn’ victory speech. Match 1…. Match… 2 … blah blah blah. Match featuring me… and oh, look at that… Stupid segment after the match. I see. …. WELL WHO PUT THAT IN THERE?!!
Crew: Blackstar…. PLEASE, STOP SLAPPING ME.
McQueen: (lets the camera guy down….. slaps) … Why didn’t you just say that sooner? Now who the hell is Blackstar?
Crew: He is a wrestler here. A Big shot too.
McQueen: I see, well. Here is my business card. If you want to go get the guy that is responsible for all this, give me a call. I’m the guy for the job.
Crew: But you’re the one that…..
McQueen: I SAID…. The guy responsible for this… aka, not me. The Blackstar guy. It will appear that you have made the request, I accept. I will avenge my honor and get the man that had the balls to disrespect me on live television for you.
Crew: Sure… whatever, just please stop slapping me.
McQueen: (walking away) Hey, is that guy filming us? Are you getting my good side?
(The video ends and the attention shift back to McQueen) Monroe: Our apologies, folks. I do not know how that video got out, but we will find out who and punish them accordingly. McQueen: Now, now. Settle down. Bitches. First of all, that camera guy was only doing his job, and that was focusing the shot on the star, AKA, me. He did the right thing. As for the incident, yes, that was me….. and no, I will not be apologizing for that. Because you see, as a real man, I’m not going to turn on my personal code and way of living. You can’t tame a guy like me. When I am angry, my entire soul becomes enraged. When I laugh, I laugh with all my heart. I have always lived honestly, and when you ask, does he honestly believe his own hype. I say, “Bitch, I am the hype.” It’s true, it’s true. You may all look at Moongoose McQueen as simply a stubborn arrogant man. But deep down, I am a free man and no one can chain me. Not this guy here (Monroe), not the media, not the world. You all may hate me now, but come and get to know me. Drinks are on me after this conference. You might still hate me, but you may learn to love me too. But the most important of all, you will all have no choice but to respect me. You see, your typical average person would let this go. Oh yeah, it’s just one interruption, it probably won’t happen again. But next thing you know, it happens again, and again, and before you know it, everyone walks all over you. And no one uses Moongoose McQueen as a stepping stone. I am building the wall, right here, and right now. You think you can do whatever you want on my time, guess what, it’s going to be on my terms. You may think, who the hell is this guy? Shouldn’t he, the new guy, be the walking on egg shells? No, that is how mediocre people make it in the industry. Kissing ass and slowly waiting for their time. I am an alpha first, and I honestly really have just one rule. Don’t cross into my territory. Don’t take my spotlight. Don’t interrupt me while I do my thing, and we can all co-exist until EAW gives me the next opponent. All I want to do is run my business. I want to make dreams a reality. I want to help people. I want to show the world that one man really can make a difference, and all he demands is respect. Now, I’m going to get away with this. I am a man with a lot of power. I have money, I have the talent, the charisma, and the willpower to do anything. People call me the man with no fear, and In a sense, people are afraid of me. People will say Power and fear go together. Some of the guys back here think they are the next Stalin or Batman. But I have always been a man that commands Respect and gained power that way. I know very powerful people in this industry. No, I am not friends with them, in fact, most of them hate my guts, but each and every one of them will vouch that Moongoose McQueen ain’t no coward. He ain’t no pushover, and never in his life has he been someone’s bitch. And it doesn’t start today. Sorry guys, just because you all are accustomed to letting people get away with shitting all over you, doesn’t mean I have to. I make my own rules, and I live by it, and that makes me better than you. Haters are gonna hate, but they hate what they can’t be. Now if you excuse me, I’m heading to my bar. Drinks are still on me if you are interested. No more questions or comments.
(McQueen walks away, but stops for one moment) McQueen: Almost forgot. Tune in this Friday for Dynasty where I will address this entire issue. Spoiler Alert, I won’t be asking for an apology like you losers. (McQueen cracks his knuckles) I intend to beat it out of them. Expect more of that wacky, crazy, Moongoose McQueen antics. Watch carefully, you all might learn a thing or two.
(McQueen walks away as Sebastian Monroe shakes his head in regret) Monroe: Thank you for coming today. Mr. McQueen feels sorry if he offended anyone. McQueen in the background: HA!!! THAT’S A GOOD ONE!!
Monroe: DAMN IT, MCQUEEN, YOU HAD ONE SIMPLE JOB!! McQueen in the background: DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE AND SLAP YOU. I CAN DO IT! IT’S IN MY CONTRACT!!
by 
Topic: 
Subject: