These are a few words that could be used to describe my newest patient. Spawned from Carnage and now trying to find his way, Elijah Stewart represents a lot of what’s wrong with Wrestling, America and the world in general. Cold, calloused souls engaging in savage combat, doing whatever is necessary for them to survive without regard for those around them. It’s a truly tragic state of affairs and one that EAW has willingly exploited, though I fault that more with the immediate previous and current General Managers of the Voltage brands specifically. They didn’t see a human being in the ring when they saw Elijah compete. They saw an attraction, a freak that they could make money off as he engaged in wanton violence for profit without seeking out any actual care.  My client refuses to admit it publicly, but he indeed had a difficult upbringing. His parents, while providing for him in the sense of food, clothing, shelter and general care…. they didn’t provide him with the social and emotional tools to succeed in our society. He is not whole. I don’t want to say damaged because that’s not what I believe him to be. Even though he is a murdering brute who would gleefully fight and injure women and children if the opportunity presents itself, he is still human. He is still one of us.

For months now, The High Rollerz have been the premier tag team in EAW. We have taken this division and we have ran with it. No one has come close to dethroning us. Just ask The Knights of the Dawning what big talk can do.. not much. But through all of this, how much respect do we get? Hmm, I don't know, maybe zero? Every time we put our tag team titles on the line, everyone bets against us. Funny, we've made a living off of ignorant people that doubt us every step of the way. Now don't get us wrong we know that our competition hasn't exactly been top tier, but through whatever came our way, we've came out on top. Now RoViper.. which is a dumb name by the way, want to just get a title shot after not even tagging with each other for years and years. This nostalgia act will go nowhere. That's just what this is, a nostalgia act. Right now everyone is all amped up to see their favorite two elitists back at it again, two of the all time greats merged into one unit, to dethrone the champs. Well the problem with nostalgia acts is... Well it gets old, fast. We've seen it before, it will be fun at first but when they keep being the same team they were way back when? When nothing's changed? Everyone will get tired of it. Here we are, The High Rollerz, the greatest team that this company has seen in years, and we're getting people that essentially just waltz into a match, and ruin everything that we've worked hard to achieve. Why try to stifle the young upstarts? Why ruin a good thing because you have to feed your own ego induced agendas? But no matter, I'm just rambling. I know it's Murrow's doing that this match is taking place, and I do understand where he's coming from. To be the best you have to beat the best, and individually you two are he best. As a tag team though? Are you? I mean you won the Unified Tag Team Titles, years ago, almost a decade ago and from what I know about this company, the beginning completion wasn't all that great. I read into it a little and I found the history of these titles and this is what I found. "The Unified Tag Team Championships were created when EAW Management decided to combine the EAW World Tag Team Championships (held by RoViper) and the EAW Tag Team Championships (held by La Secta Apocolyptica). Since the two teams had already been feuding and the pinnacle of e-federations was coming up, EAW Management decided to book La Secta Apocolyptica and RoViper in a tag team match at Pain For Pride II to unify the two sets of tag team championships and create the EAW Unified Tag Team Championships. At the time, Kevin Devastation (who was part of La Secta Apocolyptica) was Interwire Champion, while Robbie V (part of RoViper) was National Extreme Champion. Because of this, EAW Management made the tag team match a "Winner Takes All" Championship match, putting all six championships on the line". What's my point in bringing this up? Well this shows me that you two have never been about the tag titles. Even when you were tag champions, Robbie still had to have the National Extreme Championship, and whoever got the Interwire Championship. You two aren't a pure tag team like us. All you're doing this for is to get back at Murrow, you couldn't care less about these titles. Of course it would really up your resume wouldn't it? Like you two even need it. Tied for most tag team title reigns in the history of EAW, whoa. That would put you in the hall of fame for sure... but oh wait you already are. Both of you are. So why do this? What more do you have left to prove? Just to show you can beat the young upstarts still to feed your own ego? Well I've got news for you, you can't, you won't. Even though all these people may think it, it most certainly isn't true. Every time we put these titles on the line, we get bet against, surely they'd smarten up by now right? Because every single time we get bet against we win. If we were betting men we would've made a lot of money off these people... oh wait! We are! And we have made a lot of money of, people! You'd think that we'd get an ounce of respect from them after all this time but nope. Which... is actually what excites me about this match. We can finally show that we are the ones to carry this division forever. We are the ones that people should look out for. When we take you two out, it'll be us that will finally be looked at as the legends WE are. This will be our crowning achievement up to date, we legitimize this division, and we legitimize ourselves. 

Robbie you talk a big game for a guy that hasn't even been here. Are we putting you on a pedestal? Maybe, we do know what this match means, we're not oblivious of the ramifications. But we know what we're capable of, we don't go into any match not prepared for any and all possibilities. Have we been in the ring with someone the likes of you and Brian? Probably not, but you haven't been in the ring with the likes of us. And I guarantee that you're in for the surprise of your life. David and I, we aren't just a tag team. We're a well oiled machine, we've been best friends for life. We know what the other is thinking before they even think it. I get you and Brian are friends too, but how long do wrestling relationships really last? I'm sure you two have been bitter enemies before, who's to say it won't happen again? Where as David and I? We've been friends way before wrestling, and we don't have alternative agendas. We know what we want; and we take it.... or in this case, keep it. We aren't doing this for Murrow, we're doing this for ourselves, because we need to. To prove the fans, the boys backstage, you, and most importantly ourselves, that we can do this, and we are that damn good. It would appear that even though you give us some of the respect I would expect to get for months of work, you're not fully getting it. You're still brushing us aside somewhat, because you two may think we're a bit of jokes. But you have to understand we haven't had a reason to take any of what we do here seriously. Who was going to stop us? Do we like to have fun? Make jokes? For sure, but that shouldn't be a reason to downplay what we can do in that ring. This is serious jack now, and you don't want to mess with serious jack. 

Brian you want to talk about how you wanted to break away from Robbie so that you could prove you could be something without him. And although you did do well for yourself, it took a while to get to that point didn't it? And even til this day Robbie casts a shadow over you that you'll never be able to get out of. But I'm not going to play that angle, I'm not going to try and do the whole drive a wedge between team members thing because it is played out. But what I will ask is... It sounds like most of your problem isn't with us... it's with Murrow. And neither of you sound like you even care about these tag team titles. So how is this helping the division? Brian clearly thinks we're a joke, he's already faced the best. But who's to say we aren't on that level of a Jaywalker, or a Lannister? Sure they've been world champions, and we haven't. But what we have done is accomplish what we set out to do, and continue to do what it is we want to do every week. If we set our sights on the world title sure, we'd get that too. But the fact of the matter is we don't care about that. As the great poet, Coach Eric Taylor once said...clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose. 

Teacher: Yes hello, sir. What are you doing in my English Classroom? Are you lost?

David: Hey teacher? 

Teacher: Yes? 

David: Yes, so like I talked to the principal a few minutes ago and he told me to tell you that there's been a death in your family. Should probably go see him and find out the rest of the details.

Teacher: OH MY GODDDDD!

David: Oh wow, she took that all seriously? I was clearly joking, jeez. Did you see her face? She was all worried and on the verge of tears. Haha classic. Oh right, there are kids here. So hey, I'll be filling in today I guess. If Ted Mosby can do this, so can I. 

Wow, none of these markers even work. Hey kid give me that sharpie. Thanks!

Random Kid: Why you do dis? That won't come off. 

David: Hey kid, you know what else won't come off? 

Random Kid: What?

David: This championship. It'll never come off my shoulder!

Interviewer: But like, what about when you wrestle this Saturday? Pretty sure you will have to take it off and give it to the referee. 

Random Kid #2: Who is that guy? He's depressing. Yet, he's a good motivator as well. He reminds me that if I don't try hard in school and mistreat my education, I'll end up like him. 

Oh hey yeah, you're kind of right. Perhaps there's hope for you after all, interviewer. 

So what do you guys wanna do?

Nerd Kid: A pop quiz would be awesome. 

Get out. 

Nerd Kid: But why?

‘

Cause you're not welcomed here anymore……Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye? Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh no not I, I will survvvvvive. Shout out to Diana Ross. Okay but for real, get out. You disappoint me. 

Nerd Kid: What are you looking at, ya nerd?

No pop quiz. No test. No class presentations. Just get out your notepads and pencils and write as I begin my lecture. April 15th, 2017…write that down...is the day of opportunity. I present to you, the Grand Rampage!!! Oh how so many look forward to this event, treating it like Christmas morning by eagerly circling the date on their calendars, months in advance. Whether it be the fans or the elitists themselves. Most of the attention on this day will be directed towards the Grand Rampage match itself…that goes without saying. But this year it will be different. It will be topped. It’ll be topped by a certain duo…A DYNAMIC DUO, and I can only imagine what the headlines will be when nearly a hundred thousand fans are there live, silently witnessing and listening to the ear-piercing screeches that come from Robbie V and Brian Daniels’ mouthes, due to all the agony they endure from this duo I speak so highly of. This sound…man, this sound will send chills up and down the audience’s spine. A sound that could rival the classic nails on the chalkboard shiver. And the fans’ tears…their salty-salty tears will manage to flood Camp Nou, mixing in with their severe and constant vomiting to concoct a unique skin care product to coat their goosebumps. Oh I kid! Relax, I'm not some crazy person! After all, the Grand Rampage is all about positivity and celebration! For instance, we will celebrate the winner of the Grand Rampage as balloons and confetti fall from the sky and from there we’ll watch and observe as their journey begins to unfold as they take their rightful place in the main event of Pain for Pride. Now hopefully they have better luck than Johnny Ventura, Chris Hessian and I don't know…Brian Daniels? Hey, best of luck to you, whoever you may be! Cheers! But like, what else would we possibly have to celebrate though at the Grand Rampage? Ohhh, I could think of a couple of things! I will give you a few seconds to let your minds wander and try to piece together whatever I mean! To those who don't already know, then there is no helping you, for you are as blind as a bat.  

So yes, welcome to Grand Rampage week! This is a week that will be filled and quite frankly, polluted with opinions and voices from countless elitists that will unfortunately lie to your faces with no remorse. Most of these voices will of course come from and belong to the Grand Rampage participants because well, there are just so many of them. You see, they are the cause of this colossal clusterfuck. Yes, I realize what I've done. I just swore. To the children of Chile and Cameroon, I am so sorry. I know how much I mean to you. You have built High Rollerz temples in your backyards in our honor. In return, I am forever grateful. I mean, I try to be the best role model possible because of you guys, you know? But sometimes the bad words slip…so therefore, I am genuinely sorry. With that said, I tell you what. Every time I swear, the interviewer will put a crisp one-hundred dollar bill in this swear jar and I will split the money evenly to your communities..aka using the money to buy our merch and shipping it to your front doors! It's the least I could do. You are very welcome. What's that interviewer? I can't hear you. No, don't you dare step into my shot! NO! NOOO! NOOOOOOOO! So as I was saying before that rude man or woman or “it” tried to sabotage my moment by nearly making our eyes bleed with its presence, this week is indeed going to be a clusterfuck…better reach into your wallet, interviewer. In fact, I predict that five minutes after this video is posted, ten other videos will be uploaded by the men and I think one woman in the Grand Rampage. But you see, if you know anything about David Davidson III, or you know DD3 or Alligator Blood or Buttah because I'm smooth as fuck in the ring…oh hey interviewer, that's another Benjamin…but like I was saying, if you know anything about me, it's that I'm an understanding person. I can easily relate to anybody, you know? Check it, I've gone through some pretty hard times like every other elitist that walks through these company doors with a sob story in their back pocket, waiting in the weeds for the perfect time to play it. You know the stories I'm talking about. The same ol’ stories that every performer on America’s Got Talent has. My dad was abusive. My mom was a crackwhore. My dog got ran over by the mail truck. I worked a 9-5 job cleaning toilets at Taco Bell! WAHHHHHHHHH! You know what I faced in the mean streets of Las Vegas, huh? Do ya?! Well okay, you asked for it! Fair warning, this is tough because it'll bring back bad memories…but like, I never had it good growing up. It was always a struggle. For starters my dad only owned five highly successful casinos in the state of Nevada. I got laughed at because of this at school. Timmy’s dad owned twenty-two! Don't even get me started on my life at home. We always had the finest of food for dinner. It got really repetitive. Lobster again, mom? Sigh, really, kobe beef? I wanted lunchables, okay? Kraft Mac N Cheese. A hot dog! I wanted to go to NASCAR races! And to Pawn Shops like that Pawn Stars show on the History Channel and say hi to Rick and the gang and bring in my really rare coin collection that is worth $55,000 and seeing as how I liked the show I would be willing to go down a bit and let him buy it for $42,000 and then he would say he doesn't know so he’ll have to bring in his coin expert friend because he apparently doesn't know anything about well, anything and has an expert friend on every single item or collectible imaginable…but anywho, then the expert says the coin collection is actually worth $78,000 and then •David takes a deep breath•….and then Rick says he’ll offer five bucks for it because he's a cheap SOB but gets away with it because he's on TV and it pressures me into taking the deal because I don't wanna look bad and I get distracted by his bald head during this whole process. I mean why couldn't I go see them? Their store was only like a half hour away from my house. But my dad would always say no. He told me I wasn't poor or dumb enough to do these things and it really hurt my feelings. I wanted to be poor. It was my dream to be poor! I mean, that's how it works right? You choose to be poor? I tried my best, believe me. I did everything I could!  But unfortunately for me, I was too good at life by being really successful and all. It pisses me off man. It pisses me off to this very day! But I gotta put on a brave face and live with it I guess. It's true what they say, an elegant swan can't be a dirty pigeon. 

So like I said, I'm an understanding human being. I understand why the Grand Rampage participants yack and yack about their chances of winning. They believe in themselves. It's heartwarming is it not? On second thought, no, it's not. It's actually quite annoying when you think about it. Besides, nobody likes a bragger unless it's Jack Ripley or David Davidson. It's true. Morgan Freeman said it once. He gained a couple of wisdom freckles because of it. Now, for this next bit, let's backtrack to the very first thing I said. Opportunity. This whole week is all about opportunity. It's yours for the taking. The world is your oyster. I can throw out a couple more clichés but I think you get the gist of it. The Grand Rampage match is all about outlasting 29 other people in order to compete for the title they've always dreamt of winning, or for some, regaining. Now the reason why I talk about the Grand Rampage match so much is because unlike them, I already have the title I've craved for since signing my name on the dotted line. This here EAW Unified Tag Team Championship. This is my everything. It's so beautiful. Would you just look at it?! It's…its art. Fun fact, Bruno Mars’ hit song “Treasure” is about this golden bundle of joy. And unfortunately I regret to inform you all that there are two mean pirates trying to take me gold. You can't have me gold, RoViper!!

This whole process has been fun…no, EXHILARATING, Brian and Robbie. I know when you respond you'll say something like “it won't be considered fun for you when we kick your ass at the Grand Rampage” or something along those lines. But nah, this has been fun and this Saturday night will be a blast. A big ol’ party of sorts. For us at least. But for you two, it'll be more like a funeral. We say poh-tay-toe, you say poh-tah-toe, kind of thing. Right? Sure. The reason why this rivalry, if you can even classify it as such, has piqued my interest in the first place is because well, RoViper…I must admit, you were right about one thing. Every dog has its day, I suppose. But like I said, you were right about something. And that something is beating Matt Squared to capture these titles wasn’t all that difficult. It was like taking candy from an interviewer. I mean, where even are the two Matt’s these days? Dead? Selling their bodies on street corners? Probz. Or what about the time we defeated Stuffed Crust? The way I see it, it was a match we were destined to win before it even began. That version of Stuffed Crust, that being Lioncross and Nobi, had zero chemistry and it showed early on. But…I’ll cut them some slack. They never had time to gel. Murrow threw them in shark infested waters to see if they could swim and survive, to paddle to safety…but in the end, no matter how hard they tried to gasp for air, they never stood a chance. They were just handed an opportunity to face us for our titles without having to prove themselves. They didn't even have to roll up their sleeves and show the world why they are deserving! And what about The Knights of the Dawning, huh? Actually that's a legit question, what about them? They are just your classic run-of-the-mill team. They were way over their heads the minute they challenged us on social media. Yes, on social media! Times have surely changed. The point is, beating them, putting Kelly through a glass table, all it did was put a smile on my face because other than that, it did nothing for our credibility. 

The state of the tag team division is a sad one. It's been that way for months, way before we got here and made ourselves at home on Showdown. Don't believe me, just go back and watch the Grand Prix Tourney. But why, class? Why do you think that is? We had this exact discussion with the Knights about a month ago. It comes down two reasons. The first reason has to do with us. When you see The High Rollerz on top with the titles already in their grasp and are still years away from even sniffing their prime, the elitists backstage don't even put any thought towards finding a partner in hopes of dethroning us because well, it's not happening. Most elitists are smart enough to realize this. And you know what? Good for them to have common sense, which is something they have a leg up on when comparing them to RoViper. The other reason why the tag division is damn near extinct is because when it comes to the elitists we see today, what are some words to describe them? For starters, the word selfish should be at the top of your list. Because that's what they are…SELFISH! They are selfish because they want all the glory. They want all the fame, the recognition, the long line of ass kissers to sing their praises, so it can fill the void of mommy and daddy not showing them enough affection while they were growing up. I would try to single out these men as ego-driven, but that would make me a hypocrite because I too have an oversized ego and I have never shied away from that fact . For instance, I have a drive to become one half of the greatest tag team that EAW has ever seen. But for the time being, the fans and my peers alike, believe that vision of mine is merely a dream…a mirage, and it will never come to fruition. To respond to that, I’ll say I strongly disagree. Because I believe in The High Rollerz. Shocker right? I'm biased when it comes to this team, sure, guilty as charged…but the connection between its members, that of course being Jack Ripley and myself, is quite rare. I mean, look back at EAW’s history. Look back at every single tag team that has ever graced an EAW ring, whether the ropes where blue, red, or gold. Or hell, throw in green and purple as well for Turbo and NEO. At some point, their friendship, their chemistry, their hopes and dreams of either winning the tag titles for the very first time or retaining them or winning them back…was ruined by a single moment. Something went wrong. The most likely cause is because of a good ol’ sneaky back stabbing. Which begs the question, or actually, curiosity more than anything…what ever happened to ROViper? Why has it been seven years since they've teamed? Did betrayal strike them as well? Perhaps the tag division wasn't a part of their future and bigger plans. But that's the thing, Jack and I, we don't care about going on to winning world titles. You know, the titles that are often perceived as more valuable than the ones currently draped over our shoulders? Preposterous! We also don't care about winning a King of Elite tournament or the Grand Rampage match itself. We are committed to these titles and the division they belong to. Nothing else. No other distractions. No other goals. What you see is what you get and what you currently see is The High Rollerz as your EAW Unified Tag Team Champions and that image will stay true after our match this Saturday night. 

It's no secret that I'm a betting man. And as a betting man, when I look at NBA, NFL, or MLB games or horse races for that matter, before I put my money down, I look at the odds to make sure they are in my favor. For this match, I'm not even going to look at the odds. I'm sure EAW has a poll up on their site, asking the fans who they think will win this match and I'm sure RoViper is leading. They are probably leading by a landslide. And that's fine. That just means more money for my fellow intelligent gamblers who will make that much more money when we find a way to retain like we always do. But like I said, I get it. I get that Robbie and Brian have a laundry list of accomplishments and accolades. I get they've held world titles. I get they are in the hall of fame. I get the both of them have won the Grand Rampage. I get all of it. We are the underdogs. The champions are underdogs. Let that sink in for a few seconds. Perhaps Murrow is right. Perhaps we deserve some appreciation. Perhaps we deserve more respect. But hey, why do we deserve appreciation? Oh I don't know, maybe because we were the only team willing to strike life back into the division? We didn't need to be bribed to do so. We didn't have to be in a tournament against a bunch of inexperienced tag teams and take the easy way out like Matt Squared and “stat pad”, like RoViper is attempting to do as of right now. This…this title is all we have. This is our ticket to Pain for Pride and hope to god that we face a team that has some worth. Because I know if we lose to RoViper this Saturday, that's it. We most likely get thrown into the 24/7 Battle Royal while Robbie and Brian parade around with our titles. But when, not if, but when we win, RoViper will still have options because of their reputation alone. They'll somehow manage to get world title shots, or something very close to it, even with Damien Murrow trying to wipe his hands clean of those two. That's how life works, kids. Flip your page over and write life isn't fair as big as you can. 

Speaking of that man, Mr. Murrow, I've done some thinking lately and I guess I don't get your logic from time to time. The first time I really questioned you and your decisions was from a month ago when you had Lannister defend his Answers World Championship against who else? Brian Daniels. Now, I realize you made this match because you were trying to punish that billy goat for all the evil he's done to you. But why gift him a world title opportunity? Why not make it non-title? Because it would've hurt ratings by a tad? Who cares?! Weren't you the one who told us not to think or care about what the fans want? And then there is this Saturday. You have made your intentions perfectly known. You want us to get the thorn detached from your side and dispose Robbie V and Brian Daniels. By all means, I'm fine with that. But, once again, you have put titles on the line. Thus causing me to order my priorities. An order I'm sure you aren't going to agree with. But the fact of the matter is, the most important thing for Jackie boy and I are retaining these titles. That's where our attention lies and you should know this by now. Maybe if this was non-title, our attention would be elsewhere. Oh well. And to make myself perfectly clear, I don't really care how we win this matchup, since it is in fact under Extreme Rules. I don't care if we make either one of you tap. I don't care if we have to pin you. I don't care if the interviewer slaps you into oblivion. I don't care if Murrow himself gets involved. I don't care if the security guards come out and get their revenge. I DO NOT CARE. I don't live by some moral code. Because I've come to the realization that beating RoViper, in their current condition, is no longer considered a big accomplishment. It won't change our careers. Long after this match is over, we will continue to fight teams that have never teamed together before or at the most, one match…or perhaps we face another team that hasn't teamed for over five years…it's going to be the same old shit. We aren't going to get our respect. When we beat these two once feared men, the excuses will still come flooding in regardless because they can't accept the fact we are better. I can hear it now. They'll talk about the fact they haven't teamed in over seven years. They'll bring up the fact that they have been in grueling matches as of late, usually lasting forty minutes or more at FPVs because they are too big time to compete on regular ol’ Showdown. They'll also bring up their recent hospital visits. They'll bring up how Lannister and Ares and Jay have already done all this damage to them and we’ll just be picking up the scraps. Like a pickle jar they've loosened and we finally open. Like I said, there will be excuses put into play in a desperate attempt to diminish our victory, whether it is hard-earned or not. To that I say, fuck you too then. 

Kid #14: Hey we are still here you know? 

I still remember our first encounter. It feels like it was just yesterday. What a moment that was, huh? A moment I'll always hold near and dear to my heart. We were all sitting around a table, just spilling our guts about a plethora of topics. 

David: Stop! What are you doing?! 

Interviewer: I’m trying to tell you something, regarding your opponents. 

David: Well then. If you have something to say, speak up and share it with the whole class. 

Interviewer: Your opponents, they recently spoke out. 

David: During my lecture? How rude. 

Cameraman: WILL DAVID DAVIDSON RESPOND TO HIS OPPONENTS? WILL THE INTERVIEWER STOP BEING AWKWARD?! WILL THE HIGH ROLLERZ RETAIN AT GRAND RAMPAGE? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON—

David: What was that? Don't do dat ting. 

David: Hey, where are you all going?! 

Random Ginger Kid: Class is over. 

David: No. No it's not. We are going to sit here and watch these videos of theirs. 

David: Any questions?

Random Kid #7: The bearded one, is he homeless?

David: Hmm, I don't think so? I mean, I guess I could ask. Ay yo, Brian. You homeless? Now we wait for the answer. 

Random Kid #6.5: Why that one guy still have a pony tail? Gives me a creepy vibe. 

David: Oh um that's a valid question as well. But he's no a creep. He has a son. They are really tight, isn't that right Mr. V? Seeing as how Robbie spoke first, I suppose I should address him first. Just pointing that out so Brian doesn't get all jealous. Or Robbie as well. I'm not saving the best for last. We are all friends here! Just look at Robbie, kids. Isn't he a cool dude? Acting all nonchalant about well, everything. He made it known a few weeks ago that…what was the exact quote, interviewer? I know you probably wrote it down in your diary. 

Interviewer: “You two are absolutely nothing to me. No offense, but I don't like to waste my time with people who aren't worth it.”

David: What was the point of that, Robbie? Why even bother throwing in the no offense? Why do so many people say that? I remember ranting about this not too long ago. People act as if you say no offense, it's against the rules for the person they are saying this to, to get upset. Let's call a spade a spade. It wasn't a nice comment. Made me cry crocodile tears backstage and you have yet to apologize for this. I'm disgusted and appalled. But I guess this goes with your whole I'm not a good guy anymore thingy. It works. It sticks. But hey, thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to address two guys who aren't deemed worthy enough to talk about…yet, talk about anyways. Means a lot. I'll brag about it for months to come. I promise you that. Believe me, I'm well aware that this is more than a match. It'll be a war zone, literally. With all of the weapons and such. Blood will be spilled, bones will be broken, egos will be shattered. Well, yours that is. I know you better than you think, Robbie. Because I'll admit, I have watched and observed EAW for quite a while. I remember your throat being slashed. I remember you breaking into Kendra’s purse and putting her makeup all over your face and going on this mission to seek justice with that cute trench coat of yours. Your own personal justice. I remember that back then you and Damien were friends. I remember your match…actually no, your instant classic with Mr. DEDEDE at Pain for Pride. And of course I remember Brian wheeling you around in your wheelchair. That must have been heartbreaking for him. To see his friend in such rough shape, both physically and mentally. But then you rose from the dead. You now walk again. You now talk again, with your own vocal cords. It makes me feel like I'm watching that religious channel where a person stands on their own two feet for the first time in fifty years and believes the lord has given them strength again. You are a dangerous man. I see it. I realize it. So when I pick up something, whether it be a chair or a barbed wire baseball bat with fire, I'll make sure to take multiple shots and make Negan proud. And I'll do you a favor by taking you out back by the shed and giving you the Old Yeller treatment. Yes, it is true you have a laundry list of accomplishments. I said some of them a few minutes ago. 

But…oh there is always a but…you also have a laundry list of injuries. You even pointed it out yourself. Your body has gone through a lot. Whether it was due to your own passion or greed or to entertain the fans…you have and will continue to pay the price for all the shots and bumps your body has taken over the years. You used to go by the nickname legendary, if I am correct, but no matter what you think or believe, you are not immortal. And neither are we. We are human, you and I. And there is no doubt in my mind that we will create a masterpiece come this Saturday. Something oh so special. But only two will remember to tell the tale. Brain damage is no joke, people. Next, you keep changing the light you see us in, Robbie. One moment you'll talk about our hunger, our promise, our potential and then the next you are undermining us by painting this picture of us being nothing more than Damien Murrow’s henchmen. For shame. It is true that we have done his bidding over the past few weeks. I mean, we drove steel chairs into Cody Marshall’s spine repeatedly and I had a great time doing it, after the things he used to say when he first debuted. I do not forget. And now it's RoViper’s turn. Step right up! You may say you never wanted this in the first place. Or how you never wanted a chance at these titles because you've been there and done that. Your trophy case at home probably doesn't have any more room. But the fact of the matter is, we never initially asked for this either. Murrow blindsided us by the news and at first we had no intention on accepting this match, but then we got to thinking. We know the value that is attached to your names. The way I see it, we could have faced The Knights of the Dawning again or perhaps face People With Class. Or, we could face two established stars and take that next big step in our careers and solidify ourselves as the greatest tag team in EAW history. Because believe it or not, we are interested in improving our craft and eventually mastering it. Your match with Ares was spectacular. Your match with Jay was nothing short of incredible. You have endurance, I'll give you that. You and Brian both, as you manage to pump out forty minute matches like its nothing. That's probably the biggest knock against The High Rollerz. We haven't raced a marathon yet. Just quick sprints against previous opponents that have been forgotten about ever since. Our longest match was like what, 12 minutes? So yeah, we have something to PROVE. And to those counting on us to trip and fall, we will PROVE you all wrong. Count on it. Lastly, I already touched on this a bit, but to you…you think ending your careers is the most important thing to us on Saturday, but sorry to tell you and Damien, that is not true. Retaining these titles will always be our top priority. And once that objective is achieved, then the real fun begins…well for us that is. Let me give you some advice. Yeah, David Davidson is going to give Robbie V some advice. You heard me correctly. Before Saturday night rolls around, make sure to say your goodbyes to all the people you love. Make sure they know how much they meant to you so they don't have to wonder when you're long gone. So I guess that would only mean Brian, huh? Rather sad if you ask me. 

You know, I find it hard…extremely hard to respect you and Brian. I just don't see what everybody else sees. But perhaps after our match, I can find it in my heart to pay my respects to two fallen legends. We’ll see. 

And then there is Brian Daniels. The Robin of the duo. Before I continue, I asked this before and I'll ask it again because I was hoping they would eventually provide me with an answer by now. Whatever happened to RoViper back in the day? I'm curious to know. Did one of you turn on the other? Was it a mutual decision? I'm curious, is all. Now Brian, I was hoping you would save the whole who are these young punks on my lawn spiel, but you didn't. Just like Robbie, you undermine us. And why? Why must you praise Ares and Lannister but laugh at the idea of The High Rollerz stepping into the same ring as you? It puzzles me. Is it because we haven't won world titles? Right? Because that's the only measuring stick to determine greatness in this company, huh? Nah. The fact of the matter is, we've already accomplished our goal by winning the only titles that intrigue us and that are these titles. So many people settle, Brian. Have you ever noticed that? I could be talking about life in general, from marriages to careers to friendships to shelter…but that would be irrelevant given our situation. I'm talking about how when every elitist joins this company, they'll talk about how it's their mission to win one of the three world titles and they'll do it with ease. The odds are never in their favor. And they usually never do it. They eventually come to this realization and shoot for something more realistic than the stars. A classic example is when the knights were so hellbent on taking these titles from us…and of course, failed in doing so because hello, they faced The High Rollerz…they would later go on and settle by chasing after the New Breed title I believe it was? We do not settle, Brian. We made our Showdown debut back in late November. Since then, we have dominated the tag team scene. For five months. Even when Matt Squared held these and tainted them with their fifth and greasy sausage fingers…there was no doubt, we were still better and we showcased why a few weeks later. You could yawn and be unimpressed and question the legitimacy of our oppositions like you've done in the past so can comfortably close your eyes at night…all because of one lie. You are lying to yourself when you think we aren't as good as we say we are. I've told my opponents in the past that our matches weren't personal. It wasn't personal when we faced Matt Squared. They won that weak tournament, even though they would clearly become unfitting champions. It wasn't their fault they had to face us. I don't blame them. Just like I don't blame Stuffed Crust, who clearly weren't ready or up for the challenge ahead. And of course I don't blame the Knights, for they faced us by default because it was a Dynasty exclusive FPV and they were the only team Dynasty had. 

But this time is different. Not because I think you're a legitimate threat to take our titles away, but because of the way you carry yourselves and the things you say and of course, laying your hands on us just last week. I don't like you. I want to beat you so bad. So so so so so so bad. I want to prove to the rest of the world that without a shadow of a doubt, we are the real deal. We are the future and the present. We will accomplish great things in this company and it all starts with this Saturday. To be honest, I don't know the extended history between you and Damien. I don't know why he won't give you your match with Robbie. If it means that much to you, please Mr. Murrow and turn on your “partner” and I'm sure you could face him at Pain for Pride. I don't say that to play mind games, but to point out a path to make this dream match of yours become true. I mean, we’ll beat the both of you senseless regardless, make no mistake about it. But whatever Damien’s agenda may be, he wants you gone. He doesn't want to see you experience a single moment of happiness ever again. If he wanted you gone so badly, I'm sure he could wait a few months and let Dynasty or Voltage take you in the draft. But instead, he wants to speed up the process by having us finish the job that Ares, Jay and Lannister have started. By all means, I'll do it. Because why not? It sounds like fun. Like I said earlier, this is going to be fun. 

A few weeks ago you looked into my eyes and you made the comment, “you must be new here.” It got me thinking because you Brian Daniels must be new to The High Rollerz and what we are capable of doing. 

What will happen at the Grand Rampage is so obvious, yet so many remain as clueless as you. Remove the hair from your eyes. The writing’s on the wall, Brian. Turn on the lights and you'll see. You'll all see. 

So when or if you ever recover from what awaits you come Saturday night, make sure to take a bow whenever you see fit. 

And I'll tell you what..when it's all said and done, we’ll make sure to take off your boots and leave them in the center of the ring for you as a sign of respect. 

You're welcome. 

'' A woman. Perhaps it were superficial and thoughtless of me, to ever consider being addressed as anything different. Irrespective of my accomplishments, my revolutions and my legitimate wrestling ability, the only connotation, the striking difference which rebels against the norm, is that I am the only female in the upcoming Grand Rampage match. It is somewhat disappointing, people do not address me as Sheridan Müller, they simply title me the woman of the match, the outcast, the throwaway. I suppose illustrating in the dark, and sparking in opposition to a standard would always be tough. I'm fine with this, when I sauntered into Cleopatra's office almost five months ago, and told her the superior lifestyle is in need of a superior challenge, I did not perform such with a smirk, I was aware I'd be entering the unknown, entering a far more tough environment. Don't misinterpret my words, the likes of Cailin and Aria, they're not exactly wrestling a bed sheet, they're just as, if not superior to, the majority of male wrestlers in this promotion. When I state it is tougher fighting in the male division, physical and mental strains do not fit into this formula. It's simply about fighting a picture, cutting against a portrayal, a stereotype. When I arrived in this company, the women's division was in ruins. Eris LeCava and Haruna Sakazaki were the representatives of the term wrestling. We were addressed as Vixens, the likes of the two women I named earlier and myself, we didn't exactly have a sporting foundation to steady our feet upon. It was not a cookie cutter, fairy tale world. My superior lifestyle changed such, achieving what others couldn't in eight years, in eleven months. The narrative, the charisma aspects of the, and I gesture air quotes as I state this, the Vixens division, such no longer exists, you don't need a personality to be a champion, again I reference the former of the two individuals I stated earlier. I walked into this company as a nobody, and with German Efficiency engineering for change, and my ability as my voice, I ignited a revolution, formed an entire brand, and carried a new product into the modern world without breaking a sweat. Establishing efficiency as the producer of talent, the creator of Empire and the Women's World Champion, yes it took effort, yes I spent restless nights illustrating blueprints, and weekends validating my ability inside and outside of the wrestling ring, but it was only the first mark of my superior reign. How do I state this, setting the foundations for a revolution is somewhat easy, building, validating and establishing your revolution, that is the hard part. Being the ambassador for efficient, pure female wrestling, the final ever Vixens World Champion, this is when my superior lifestyle peaked, and whilst many will call me arrogant, whilst the rumour pages and dirtsheet articles label me a coward, a hypocrite, a demanding, special treatment wanting blonde, this is not the case. I didn't leave Empire due to my loss, I quit due to German Efficiency's win. How dare I have ambition, wishing better for me as an individual, wishing to promote my superior lifestyle, shredding the entertainment spectacle this company is submerged within, whilst promoting a healthier, German lifestyle, one with actual benefits, engineered and crafted with such elegant precision. It is always amusing to me how ignorant, pretentious, closed-minded people would encourage and root for me when fighting against my gender, yet as soon as I wish to further challenge myself, they ridicule, embarrass, lambaste me. I cannot comprehend why a woman fighting a man is frowned upon to such an extent, it is almost as if males fear me, yet they point and sneer, smirk and laugh at the same time. It's utterly perplexing. They do not see the superior lifestyle, neither do they acknowledge my unrivalled athleticism. All the likes of TLA, Ryan Marx and Mongoose see, is long blonde hair, an innocent complexion, and a pair of breasts pressed against a sports bra. This is not where my problem lies, I cannot blame a man for acknowledging true, efficient beauty. It is that their eyes, their vision, does not go past that. They simply see a woman, and they assume the common buzzwords. Sheridan the feminist! Sheridan the bitch! Sheridan the weak! Such pessimistic connotations arrive with my name, all due to the fact I wished to engineer a better life for myself, instead of repeating the same process over and over on Empire. That's the problem with Empire. It's not the women. Neither is it the management. There's a height which can be hit as a woman on Empire. The climb to the top is effortless, people get handed championship opportunities out of the blue, after a sole match, despite only existing in the upper echelons of the roster for two weeks. I am the personification of German Efficiency, the one woman revolution. After, might I add without help, illustrating a road for females to perform on a brighter stage, after crafting a championship, leading the sheep to the promised land, what else could I do. Being a multi-time champion does not appeal to me, it is not maximising productivity, efficiency would be kept to a slight. I'm happy to admit Cailin beat me at Road to Redemption, but straying within the realms of reality, I don't believe she would be champion at this moment, if her best friends Kendra and the Heart Break Gal didn't push her to that spot, or if I had stayed within the division. Eventually the process would become tiring, becoming a Specialists Championship doesn't necessarily appeal to me either, considering you could win despite only having learnt to wrestle a week or so ago. As long as you are capable of picking up a weapon, you can win that championship. The only other option I could maintain was running Madison Kaline out of the division for the third time, but after not lifting a finger and causing such outrage, I really don't wish to test my luck with that. Many perceptions and portrayals of me as an individual have been drawn up and posted other the last few months, and my intentions are to bring validation to my superior lifestyle, and redemption to these false allegations. I am not here to be captain feminist. Neither am I on Dynasty to promote the female sex. I came looking to further establish German Efficiency, the future of Elite Answers Wrestling, and winning the Grand Rampage battle, outlasting, surpassing, efficiently surviving twenty nine other individuals, bringing efficiency to the main event of Pain For Pride Ten, it would certainly be pressing a statement onto the fallacious conjectures pointed within my direction.  Reflecting on it for a second, it is a little silly that the main event, of the biggest show this company has ever held, is decided on luck. Sure, you could make an argument for talent, ability, but from a logical standpoint, when judging stamina, concentration, passion, lust, a plethora, a multitude of aspects, simply holding the number thirty spot grants you the highest chance of being in the main event, and through every number, from twenty nine downwards, your odds remain quite high, ever so slightly tilting and drifting the closer to number one you get. I'm really no illusionist, I like to remain within the strains of reality, I recognise we do not live in Berlin and that everything is not beautiful, systematic and precise. I keep to statistics, so when you present this type of match to me, and tell me that Jacob Senn against Lucas Johnson could potentially be the main event of this years Pain For Pride, a very subtle smirk creeps onto the edges of my pink lips. That's nothing against Lucas of course, just the whole presentation of the event as a whole, it defines inefficiency, and it defines America. Just think about how many talented individuals will be embarrassed by someone far their inferior, due to what numbers they drew on a machine. Such a chauvinistic attitude to present to the innocence of wrestling, a sporting, athletic contest drained, pumped and dwindled down by the American lifestyle. Why is everything so over extravagant in this country, you simply cannot leave things in their natural state. I could only imagine the board members in the first ever meeting this company held. What ideas must have been tossed around, how to decide a contender for a championship belt, perhaps have a tournament, hold a few one on on singles matches. Perhaps maintain disqualification and count out rules. Or, or, hold a battle royal, entrances are timed, and the winner could be entirely undeserving of such! Brilliance! My drive for change, my motivation and determination to leave a lasting impact on how this continent portrays wrestling, it is unrivalled. My passion, regardless of how subtle, how uneasy it is to identify, the fuel which powers my superior lifestyle, it is unconquerable. I don't present myself as the most efficient individual in the world to keep the fans happy, to maintain a character, to deliver on a stereotype. I state such as it is an absolute truth, it matters little who or what stands in my way, I made leaving Empire look easy, formulated the perfect, pristine blueprint to vanquish a barrier and continue my path to superiority, and establishing pure, efficient wrestling as the cornerstone, the pioneer within the German Efficiency Era. I am simply a wrestler, a superior, athletic, technical wrestler, who has identified flaws in the presentation of this company, and will not rest until such flaws are systematically eradicated, and reconstructed with superior, precise efficiency. Main events should be decided on talent, not on luck. Wrestling should materialise as athletic, as competitive. This drama narrative, drugging and fuelling this constant headache of mine, it will eventually come to a stop, German Efficiency will fly over Elite Answers Wrestling. I will rationalise my superior lifestyle, on the lovely, delicate road to perfection. Extravagant displays, reckless arrogance will be eradicated, exposed, unsheltered. The second reign of German Efficiency is growing, and I only validate, intelligently supply and justify each word I say with every match I wrestle. Soon my work will catch alight, and pure efficient wrestling with prevail. Grand Rampage will not be determined by gender, neither will it be decided on luck. German Efficiency will hold the blooded impact which shatters this fallacious illusion held over the event, and German Efficiency will grow as the liberator, the revolution, the vanquisher, maintaining the saviour role of pure, efficient wrestling. ''

The cloud of smoke pooling into the air flooded the screen. Behind the smoke, however, was a clear blue sky, the camera panning down just a bit now to reveal none other than the Unfit Dynasty, Axl Willow, standing with his back to a car, a smoke between his fingers. Flicking off the ash that grew on his cigarette now, he dropped it before stomping down on it as a cough exited his lips. A note to take in though was the appearance of Axl, the man dressed in a sharp three-piece charcoal black suit by Lauren Ralph Lauren. The man had a small smirk on his face as well as he walked through the parking lot outside, his right hand grabbing a tight grip on the handle of his suitcase. The noise of the wheels against the asphalt was practically the only noise that could be heard before the sound of a male clearing his throat off screen was now heard and that figure began to speak. "Axl Willow, a pleasure to meet a new talent such as yourself, any thoughts on Grand Rampage?". It was clear the man was a reporter, perhaps an interviewer, so with a small look of annoyance on his face, Willow came to a halt.  Looking in the direction of the camera letting us know that the reporter was behind it, and he snarled before his eyes rolled. "My thoughts? I have none, why? I'm observing the playing field at Grand Rampage, that's why. I'm not a stupid young gun by any stretch of the imagination. This? Elite Answers Wrestling? It's a human game of chess, and how can you win if you don't do your homework?", the Unfit Dynasty spoke now before starting to walk again, the disgust for such a stupid question obviously still on his face. How could you expect him to have any other thoughts, Axl thought to himself, was this hack really that stupid? "Fair enough, Axl, but is there anyone, in particular, you're looking to do your homework on here tonight?", now when the reporter asked this question is just caused Axl to stop in his tracks once again. The man moving his right hand up, looking down at his watch before shaking his head, the sun beaming down on the scene happening and the heat grew with each and every second. "Yeah, anyone and everyone on Showdown. That's who I'm doing my homework on, doesn't matter who, my eyes will be peeled for all of them. Why? Why everyone? See, I do your job better than you do, I know the questions before you even ask, but I'll humor you for now. Why everyone? It's simple, everyone has a weakness, everyone is vulnerable, no one will survive forever because after all...", he paused now, his hand grabbing a grip onto his luggage again before looking directly into the camera. That smug snarl curling his upper lip as his eyebrows furrowed. The pause being interrupted by his motions, walking forward again as he finally spoke up to finish his statement. "....We all die someday.", just as he said this, the Unfit Dynasty cleared his throat, his head turning to the right before spitting onto the ground as he nonchalantly said one last thing, "You'll just die sooner than I will."

The final shot of the video was Axl Willow pushing forward, the camera practically doing a three sixty to watch as The Unfit Dynasty wheeled his bag through the parking lot. The man had to be hot, wearing that many layers in the sun, but he obviously didn't care. It wasn't going to change his attitude, it wasn't going to change what he planned on doing and that was making a statement regardless of how long it took him. The words he spoke, while short, were absolutely true. You had to view wrestling as a fast pace chess game, knowing what your opponent is going to do two moves before he even does it, that's the only way to get ahead and the best way to do that was to study. He was new to the company, but he certainly wasn't new to the game of chess by any means, Grand Rampage might be a day off for The Unfit Dynasty, but soon everyone will be put into check.