YOU! THIS IS MAXWELL DACHS HERE AND I NEED YOUR HELP, BROTHER!

LISTEN HERE, BROTHER! SIGN THIS HERE PETITION TO MAKE CHANGE.

https://www.change.org/p/kerry-keller-eaw-make-kerry-keller-stop-stealing-maxwell-dachs-gimmick

no.

Jamie O'Hara wrote:

no.

LISTEN HERE AUSSIEMANIA! WHEN I BODY SLAMED THE 2000 POUND GI STYLES IN THE SILVERDOME IN FRONT OF TEN MILLION SCREAMING DACHSLEMANIACS I SHOWED YOU THAT DACHSLEMANIA IS RUNNING WILD, BROTHER! AND AT PAIN FOR PRIDE I'M GONNA BRING THE BIG BOOT AND DROP THE LEG ON KERRY KELLER AND RETAIN MY STOLEN GIMMICK!

Brother Brother Jack Dude Man.


Yappapi.

This is funny

How about we compare these two?
Maxwell Dachs:

Alignment: Heel

Gimmick:  Very manipulative. When on the hunt he is very aggressive and animalistic. Needs to be respected and wants his prestige honored. Sees himself as the best wrestler in all of the EAW galaxy. Believes that it is his duty to save the universe. Believes that there is some sort of conspiracy involving the owners of the EAW and and wishes to expose it by using the power has has from his championship.

Kerry Keller:


Alignment: Tweener (Leaning toward Heel)

Gimmick: After a success drought recently, Kerry Keller is angry and is blaming all of his disuccess on EAW booking, creative, and Zack Crash. Keller has begun to think the world, or the entire EAW is out to get him. (Besides Franchise Demon of course) and preaches that they prejudice against him because of jealousy of his talent, or what he calls "general blindness to the truth" Keller has also begun to slightly care what fans think. And also thinks that there is some system In the booking process that screws him over. He theorizes all of this, and says it so much, that he begins to think his theories are the full truth.

Mine is different, while both involve a conspiracy, yours is about "The Power of your Championship" mine is about me being "Screwed over" by EAW and thinking everyone is out to get me. I will admit the gimmicks are similar. But in no way am I copying you

Kerry Keller wrote:

This is funny

you thief.

It's not like the gimmick Keller is using is great anyways. It seems like a more out of script thing anyways.

But shame on you, Keller. You stole Kimbo's gimmick.

kerry keller's "new" gimmick is basically just a summary of my past couple weeks of promos.

Actually very similar in the sense if you read dachs recent promos it's where his gimmick is now. He developed his in your sense and on paper they look different but Dachs has basically what you wrote down as what he is right now lol read his past 3 promos man

Brother brother jack dude brah.


Ric Flair.

Brett Kennedy wrote:

Brother brother jack dude brah.


Ric Flair.

RIP in Pepperoni

Literally no one of any significance gives a single shit about this. Have a problem? Contact the writer rather than lambasting another member of the e-fed on a forum like an immature dickhead about a petty issue. Half of the fucking "gimmicks" in e-feds have virtually no differences aside from their writing style. You have zero authority.

Y2Impact wrote:

Literally no one of any significance gives a single shit about this. Have a problem? Contact the writer rather than lambasting another member of the e-fed on a forum like an immature dickhead about a petty issue. Half of the fucking "gimmicks" in e-feds have virtually no differences aside from their writing style. You have zero authority.

LISTEN HERE DUDE BROTHER. THE CRUISERWEIGHTS LIKE YOU CAN WAIT BROTEHR. WHEN DACHSLEMANAIA HITS YOUR LOCAL TOWN ILL HIT THE BIG LEG ALL OVER YOUR JABRONI ASS AND PIN YOU FOR THE ONE TWO THREE. THATS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN  YOU DOUBT THE POWER OF MAXWELL DACHS BROTHER

Furthermore, if we had to bar everyone from using a gimmick on account of infringement, neither of you two could pull the "conspiracy against me" angle. Fucking stop, you moron.

Y2Impact wrote:

Furthermore, if we had to bar everyone from using a gimmick on account of infringement, neither of you two could pull the "conspiracy against me" angle. Fucking stop, you moron.

LISTEN HERE BROTHER. I WON'T HOLD IT AGAINST A PUNY CRUSERWEIGHT LIKE YOU BROTEHR. BUT I KNOW BROTHER THAT YOU'RE PART OF TEH CONSPIRACY BROTHER! I JUST KNOW IT. AND WHEN I DROP MY LEG DROP FASTER THAN THE FLASH HOPEFULLLY YOU'LL FINALLY UNDERSTAND THAT YOU JUST CANT STEP TO DACHSLEMANIA LIKE ANYONE ELSE CAN. AND WHEN I BODY SLAM KERRY KELLER IN THE SILVERDOME INFRONT OF ALL THOSE SCREAMING DACHSLEMANIACS. ME AND TLA AND VENOM AND AND AND ALL THE DACHSLEMANIACS AND ALL THE LITTLE DACHSTERS WILL RUN WILD ON YOU BROTHER!

I genuinely wonder if you think your tired schtick is amusing in any way. It never was and does not get better with time.

FIRST THING'S FIRST
I WANTED TO LET DOCTOR PROPER KNOW, I WANTED TO LET DOCTOR UNGER KNOW, AND DOCTOR HUGHES KNOW THAT THE RELEASE FORMS HAVE BEEN SIGNED. YOU GUYS ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LAST COUPLE FRACTURES IN THE FOREARM, BROTHER. THE MAIN PRIORITY IN THE YAPPAPAI INDIAN STRAP MATCH IS TO HAVE FLEXIBILITY OF THE WRIST THAT YOU'RE STRAPPED TO YOUR OPPONENT, BROTHER. BECAUSE, IN THE YAPPAPAI INDIAN STRAP MATCH, WHEN YOU'RE IN THE FOUR CORNERS OF THE BATTLEZONE, THE MAIN PRIORITY IS TO GET THE BODY IN THE PROPER POSITION FOR THE STRAPATION, DUDES. WHEN I GET KERRY KELLER RIGHT WHERE I WANT HIM, WHEN I GET HIM OUT OF WIND SUCKING AIR, SWEATING FROM HEAD TO TOE, I WILL CALL TO THE STRAP MASTER VENOM AT RINGSIDE, AND I WILL SAY 'VENOM...' AT RINGSIDE 'GIVE ME YAPPAPAI INDIAN PUNISHMENT STRAP NUMBER ONE!'. AND AS I STRAP YOUR BODY, KERRY KELLER, AS YOU SCREAM TO THE HEAVENS FOR MERCY, AS I SEE YOUR SKIN START TO BUBBLE OFF YOUR BODY, YOU WILL DROP TO YOUR KNEES AND YOU WILL SAY 'PLEASE MR. DACHS, PLEASE I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. PLEASE, I'M SORRY I CROSSED THE LINE'. AND AS I HEAR YOU BEG FOR MERCY, KERRY KELLER, THAT'S WHEN I'LL CALL TO THE STRAP MASTER VENOM FOR YAPPAPAI INDIAN STRAPPAGE NUMBER TWO. THAT'S WHEN THE HEAVIER BELT WILL COME OUT, THAT'S WHEN I'LL STRAP YOUR SKIN, AND THE FLESH WILL BUBBLE. THAT'S WHEN THE FLESH STARTS TO PEEL FROM YOUR HIDE, AND AS I SEE THE RAW, PINK MEAT ON YOUR BACK, BROTHER, I'M GONNA TAKE IT TO ANOTHER LEVEL. I WILL TRANSFORM FROM MAXWELL TO HOLLYWOOD. I WILL DOUBLE STRAP YOU WITH BOTH FISTS, AND YOU WILL SCREAM TO THE HEAVENS 'PLEASE HOLLYWOOD, DON'T HURT ME ANYMORE!', AND I WILL NEVER STOP!

Brett Kennedy wrote:

FIRST THING'S FIRST
I WANTED TO LET DOCTOR PROPER KNOW, I WANTED TO LET DOCTOR UNGER KNOW, AND DOCTOR HUGHES KNOW THAT THE RELEASE FORMS HAVE BEEN SIGNED. YOU GUYS ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LAST COUPLE FRACTURES IN THE FOREARM, BROTHER. THE MAIN PRIORITY IN THE YAPPAPAI INDIAN STRAP MATCH IS TO HAVE FLEXIBILITY OF THE WRIST THAT YOU'RE STRAPPED TO YOUR OPPONENT, BROTHER. BECAUSE, IN THE YAPPAPAI INDIAN STRAP MATCH, WHEN YOU'RE IN THE FOUR CORNERS OF THE BATTLEZONE, THE MAIN PRIORITY IS TO GET THE BODY IN THE PROPER POSITION FOR THE STRAPATION, DUDES. WHEN I GET KERRY KELLER RIGHT WHERE I WANT HIM, WHEN I GET HIM OUT OF WIND SUCKING AIR, SWEATING FROM HEAD TO TOE, I WILL CALL TO THE STRAP MASTER VENOM AT RINGSIDE, AND I WILL SAY 'VENOM...' AT RINGSIDE 'GIVE ME YAPPAPAI INDIAN PUNISHMENT STRAP NUMBER ONE!'. AND AS I STRAP YOUR BODY, KERRY KELLER, AS YOU SCREAM TO THE HEAVENS FOR MERCY, AS I SEE YOUR SKIN START TO BUBBLE OFF YOUR BODY, YOU WILL DROP TO YOUR KNEES AND YOU WILL SAY 'PLEASE MR. DACHS, PLEASE I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. PLEASE, I'M SORRY I CROSSED THE LINE'. AND AS I HEAR YOU BEG FOR MERCY, KERRY KELLER, THAT'S WHEN I'LL CALL TO THE STRAP MASTER VENOM FOR YAPPAPAI INDIAN STRAPPAGE NUMBER TWO. THAT'S WHEN THE HEAVIER BELT WILL COME OUT, THAT'S WHEN I'LL STRAP YOUR SKIN, AND THE FLESH WILL BUBBLE. THAT'S WHEN THE FLESH STARTS TO PEEL FROM YOUR HIDE, AND AS I SEE THE RAW, PINK MEAT ON YOUR BACK, BROTHER, I'M GONNA TAKE IT TO ANOTHER LEVEL. I WILL TRANSFORM FROM MAXWELL TO HOLLYWOOD. I WILL DOUBLE STRAP YOU WITH BOTH FISTS, AND YOU WILL SCREAM TO THE HEAVENS 'PLEASE HOLLYWOOD, DON'T HURT ME ANYMORE!', AND I WILL NEVER STOP!

Lovable asshole gone idiot.

Y2Impact wrote:

I genuinely wonder if you think your tired schtick is amusing in any way. It never was and does not get better with time.

I WOULD NEVER EXPECT YOU TO BROTHER. CUZ THE TRUTH IS MEAN GENE. WONDERBREAD PIPS LIKE YOU ARE IMMUNE TO THE PURE POWER OF DACHSLEMANIA. AND WHEN I HIT THE LEG OF DACHS ON YOUR PIP ASS THE SHEILD WILL BE BROKEN AND YOUll BE UNDER THE SPELL OF PURE UNADULRATED DACHSLEMANIA BROTEHR

Cy > you

better troll
better e-fedder

I think you owe him royalties, pal.

Y2Impact wrote:

Cy > you

better troll
better e-fedder

I think you owe him royalties, pal.

I DONT OWE NOBODY NUFIN PAL. IM DACHS HOgAN AND I AM THE STRONGEST AMERICAN IN ALL OF AMERICA MOTHER FUCKER AND DACHSLEMANIA IS RUNNING WILD ON YOUR BUTTHURT PIP WONDERBREAD CRACKER ASS BROTHER.

go back to reddit tbh

Y2Impact wrote:

go back to reddit tbh

ELLEN PAO'S SAFE SPACE CAN'T HANDLE THE POWER OF DACHSLEMANIA IVE MOVED ON BROTHER. AND WHEN I HIT THE LEG DROP ON REDDIT THE WHOLE WORLD WILL SEE THAT DACHSLEMANIA RUNS WILD