The following is a PUBLIC ADDRESS from the Greatest Champion the World has ever known. The one true world's champion. The standard bearer of the Past, Present and Future of professional wrestling.
Carlos Rosso. (Carlos is seen sitting in a lounge chair on the patio of his family's Baton Rouge home, drinking tea. Mao is next to him lounging about, looking a bit bored and sleepy.)
Carlos: Ladies and gentlemen of the EAW Universe, I thought that it was time to clear the air a little bit. A few people have gone to running their mouthes about me. It's coming from all sorts of directions and the shots and insinuations have been so stupid and preposterous that I have asked for, no, DEMANDED equal time and been granted it. Before I address the three stooges, as I'm starting to think of the Trio of Lioncross, Thomas Minns and my opponent this Saturday night, the "mighty" Chris Elite.
But before I do that, I just want to remind the naysayers on social media and in the locker room, etc. etc. that the CWF World Heavyweight Championship is a recognized and legitimate championship sanctioned by EAW.
#SHOWYOURGOLD time!
Now that the Champion of the World has said hello, let's get down to business!
Minns! While I appreciate your concern and your willingness to put Lioncross out of his misery, I just need you to understand a few things, alright? First, as much as I respect your ability as a wrestler, I hope you realize exactly what you're getting yourself into wrestling Lioncross. He's not the over-the-hill goat you think he is, okay. The man can still wrestle. Go look at the tape from Reasonable Doubt. The man SHOULD have beaten the World Tag Team Champions by himself and if Yours Truly had not made a buisness decision with the foresight in mind that I had, Lioncross would be walking down the aisle to face you with two titles. You're great, but believe me, I've been in there with some of the guys he's fought. The Heart Break Boys, The AJ Ariases, the American Dragons, the Impacts, the Jaywalkers of the world. You are a great talent, but nowhere near that caliber...yet. For God's sake it took almost everything you had to try to beat Chris Elite. This is a step up in competition. NOT that I'm rooting against your success. I'm just wanting to make sure that you understand that what you're dealing with is a little tougher, a little more dangerous than you're acknowledging.
Chris, Oh, Chris! I love riling you up. You are absolutely RIGHT! THIS WEEK! SATURDAY! PORTLAND OREGON, YOU WALK ONTO CARLOS ROSSO'S SHOWDOWN, MY SHOW, AND FACE THE MAN! THE CWF HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD! THE LEGEND. I'm not a myth? You know why? Because myths are exaggerated. Myths are fake. I AM NEITHER OF THOSE. I. AM. REAL.
You seem to be misunderstanding a few things. I'm not trying to be CWF back. It's dead. The company is dead and this title, the most sacred title in that company's short but well-respected annals is here in EAW to be defended. Why do this? For one, Showdown needs a legitimate World's Champion. Does anyone think that Mr. Vendetta who basically had a title GIFT-WRAPPED for him and served on a silver platter is a legitimate World Champion? I didn't think so. He's on borrowed time as it is but that's is an issue for another day. You should know what this title that I wear represents. It represents the fighting spirit of that now long-gone promotion, it represents the apex of the wrestling style that I spent countless hours perfecting. That same fighting style, mind you, has put you on your ass several times since your arrival or return or whatever to EAW.
Look, Chris, I don't have any "beef" with Lioncross. I simply want him to stay out of my way until I have completed my final mission as the CWF World Heavyweight Champion. I will unite this belt with the EAW Championship currently held by the fatass from New Orleans. I will prove that I am the ONLY person who should be entitled to call himself World Champion on Showdown. But I will not rest on my laurels while waiting for this wonderful day, no no no. I'm going to pummel people like Piff Fumador. I'll accept the challenge of a Cloud Matsuda, a Beretta, a Thomas Minns, Chris Elite...ANY ONE AND EVERYONE WHO WANTS A SHOT AT THIS BELT CAN COME AND GET IT. THATS THE KIND OF FIGHTING CHAMPION I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN AND ALWAYS WILL BE.
Lioncross was simply baggage that needed to be put aside. Nothing more.
I expected you to hurl insult after insult in my direction and in the direction of the loyal fanbase of the Legitimate World's Champion. And you did. But get this, when we get in the ring in Portland, I'm going to do what I traditionally do when I face you: beat the shit out of you. Repeatedly. Until I get tired. And once I get a power bar I'm going to continue to beat the shit out of you. It seems like every time I try to straighten one of you young boys out, you come back with more sass, more stupidity, and more entitlement. WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO CALL YOURSELF ANYTHING ON SHOWDOWN!? SHOWDOWN IS MINE! IT IS MY HOUSE! I RAN IT YEARS AGO, AND AS A WRESTLER, I DOMINATE IT! I have not lost since I returned and I will be damned to hell before I see a little brat like you show me up, you understand? You just were in the ring with me a few months ago? I damn near kicked your head off...and I was in a good mood dealing with you. You want me mad AND motivated? Do you have a death wish? Oh, again, THE CWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP IS A SANCTIONED AND RECOGNIZED EAW CHAMPIONSHIP! I ALREADY HAVE "THE BIG ONE". All I want to do now is collect all the other "big ones" and take my rightful and deserved place as the greatest champion that has ever lived.
So, I've come roundabout to say something much shorter and simpler than what I've said to you. You want to know what I have to say about Chris Elite? How I feel about the Fresh Prince?
Be ready. Please, just be ready. I'm not overlooking you. I'm not going to take a victory for granted against you because you have, ONCE, been able to get the job done against me. I'll give you due credit for that.
And why does everyone talk about me like I'm some old fart?! I'm not even thirty-five, damn it!
LIONCROSS, I know you're going to be doing commentary for my match. I'm going to be adding my own commentary to your match because, let's face it, Minns couldn't draw a dime if you gave him the best art equipment in the galaxy and you're a charisma vaccum. I am not there to beat you up. I'm there to LEND MY PRESENCE. Stay in your lane and I'll stay in mine. I double-pinky-swear this time that I won't kick your face in again.
Also, you really think I'm trying to live in the past? This is about the future! THIS IS ABOUT THE MONEY! Imagine the amount of money, the amount of media coverage that a CWF-EAW title match would bring in? Carlos Rosso vs Mr. Dedede! Carlos Rosso vs Vic Vendetta! Carlos Rosso vs that goat-faced moron who has a title on Dynasty! Don't you understand? This is all business-related? You really think I want to relieve all those days where I dominated CWF for more than half a year and turned back challengers left and right? How I won CWF's Triple Crown and eventually took control of it entirely?
Okay, a little bit.
But this isn't just a bit of nostalgia, Thomas, LC, Chris. 2016 will see me dominate Showdown with the same ruthless Iron grip that I once exercised as it's General Manager. I won't need board schemes or executive powers or drawing the attention of a few naive young fools to do my dirty work, Looking at you XAVIER WILLIAMS.
I'm going to do it by myself. I'm going to do it my way. And I'm going to do it better than anyone could possibly have expected. You want to know why, boys?
BECAUSE CARLOS ROSSO IS FUCKING......ICHIIIIIIBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN.AND.......
He is.....
POURING.....
FLOODING......
ABSOLUTELY ROLLING.....
IN. THE. GOLD.Chris, Good luck in Portland. You're going to need it. And if you have a deity that you pray to, the next couple of days would be a good time to make peace with em.
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