A month or so ago I was granted one last shot at changing pic bases. After much deliberating I have made a definitive decision. I'll be using Aleister Black/Tommy End as I originally intended back in January. I'm not getting special treatment before anybody says anything because this is my final change EVER. The chairman made that very clear to me. I apologize again for making such a mess in January, I apologize to everyone I bothered with my indecisiveness and stupidity. I apologize for being a dick to those of you who absolutely did not deserve it. Guys like Robbie, Brian and even Senn tried to help me and I was a complete asshole to them. I burned bridges I can only hope to rebuild now. I'm not trying to use this as an excuse but it hasn't been easy dealing with the stuff I've had to deal. There were times I had no choice but to say or do things I didn't mean because I just couldn't stand the frustration and anger I felt. I'm angry with myself, how can I not be? I always fuck everything up, everything I touch turns to shit. The frustration I feel is huge, I'm so disappointed in myself and with the way things are for me outside and inside of here. But that is all my fault, it really is. The actions I've done, the decisions I have made led me to this damned abyss I am in right now. Everything negative that happened to me in my life and in efeds I acknowledge I am the only culprit of. I'm sorry I took it out on some of you. I sincerely am sorry. I come on here to try and build something nice, something fun for me to try and escape from the shit I face every damn day but I've just been doing the opposite of that as of late it seems. I hate the drama, I hate doing stuff like this, I'm not the type to post threads saying I am sorry to people. Usually if I do something wrong I just contact them privately and apologize but there's way too many people I got to apologize to and I feel I've messed up too many times to just reach them and talk to them about shit privately. Essentially everyone I was a dick to for no reason deserves a public apology from me. This may sound stupid but I love this place, I love doing this even if people call it a "waste of time" or something for "losers" and I don't want to jeopardize my spot, the chance to talk to people on here, read great scripts and interact with old friends. I'm sorry for everything. I know this change things right away, that wasn't my goal when I wrote this but hopefully it does make you guys understand how sorry I am. And I don't want anybody's sympathy. I just want things to go back to how they were.
by 
Subject: Another one of those threads.. reluctantly 
