using http://www.random.org/integers/, generate 1 random integer between 1 and 99999. If you get a number with less than 5 digits just add however many zeros to the front you need to make it 5 digits, i.e. 298 would become 00298, and so forth.

The year is 2035. You have been arrested by Interpol for using windows computer instead of the authorised apple computers and given a 10 year jail sentence. Escape is impossible. Your fellow inmates are sadists and rapists.

Last digit of your number determines your cell mate. Ranges from 9 the most protected/safe to 0 the least protected/safe. If you roll too low, you're probably going to get raped and tortured. Every. Single. Day.
9: Goku
8: Tifa Lockhart
7: Morgan Freeman
6: Hermione Granger
5: Walter White
4. Princess Leia
3. Anders Brevikh
2. Zooey Deschanel
1. Samwise Gamgee
0. Milhouse

Your second to last digit represents the weapon you smuggled in. Again, 9 is best, 0 is worst.
9. the Ring of Power
8. Blaster Rifle
7. Elder Wand
6. Desert Eagles
5. Shiv
4. Old school xbox controller
3. a Stick
2. Crucifix
1. Banana
0. Piece of paper.

Your third to last digit represents your bonus body condition.
9. Buff
8. Speed Boost
7. Swag
6. Super hearing
5. Harmonica skills
4. Aids
3. Asthma
2. Obese
1. Never lifted in your life (aka just plain weak)
0. My little pony tattoo

Your fourth to last digit represents your warden
9. Eric Cartman
8. Mr T
7. Ceiling Cat
6. Pedobear
5. Hipster Hitler
4. Bowser
3. Darth Vader
2. Ganondorf
1. Kim Jong Un
0. Sauron

Your fifth to last (i.e. first) determines your prison
9. Teletubby Jail
8. Gerudo Fortress
7. Cidhna Mine
6. the Goat Tower
5. Shinra HQ
4. Death camp of Tolerance
3. Alcatraz
2. Bowser's Castle
1. Deadman Wonderland
0. Auschwitz

Would you survive?

Number: 99324


4. Leia
2. Crucifix
3. Asthma
9. Cartman
9. Teletubby Jail

Here were my numbers, I think I have a pretty good chance.

9: Goku

5: Shiv

9: Buff

8: Mr. T

5: Shinra HQ

XD yep, I'm surviving.

My number: 55013
3.       Anders Brevikh
1.       Banana
0.       My little pony tattoo (yo wtf why am I getting shitty ones omg)
5.       Hipster Hitler
5.       Shinra HQ

Nah fam im fucked rip eris. Maddie can take over now so Demon will stop bitching (lol jk)

My Number: 17348

8: Tifa Lockhart
4: Old-School XBOX Controller
3: Asthma
7: Ceiling Cat
1: Deadman Wonderland

Well I'm fucked, Tifa can do all the work I'll sit back with my asthma stricken ass and try to hide.

Number: 89996

8: Tifa Lockheart
9: Ring of Power
9: Buff
9: Eric Cartmen
6: The GOAT Tower

I wanted Hermione :/ but yeah I'll survive.

34461

1. Samwise Gamgee
6. Desert Eagles
4. Aids
4. Bowser
3. Alcatraz

Just my luck...Even if I survive, I got Aids. My ass is grass either way~!