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So yeah, it’s really been a splendid morning for me. I stepped outside, uncorked my special drink and drank it slowly in front of the people while attracting maximum attention. I did it so that all people from this city who passed me could watch me gulp down that expensive piece of drink and feel jealous. Oh baby! That was indeed an amazing sight, seeing all those expressions on their faces. Hell, some of them even tried to put on the mask of ignorance on their faces but I saw through that quite easily. I AM A FUCKING GENIUS! But anyways, fuck those guys and fuck the city of Durham. The roads in the city suck balls just like your schooling systems. Hey, that explains the fact why I saw so many douchebags on the road today. Now only that, I don’t really understand the fact why you people fawn over that dark blue abomination of a basketball team. I mean, why don’t you just support winners, teams who aren’t prone to disappointing the people? Well, guess I will never understand fools and bandits who inhibit this filthy town. No wait, let me correct myself, I never want to understand them. I would rather spend time staring at the mirror and admiring my handsome face. Because I am so fucking handsome, so fucking handsome.

Well anyways, as you can probably understand from my tone, I am perfectly calm today. Yesterday there might have been some shit coming out from my mouth but today, it’s a bright new day and a new start. Even though I am in this shithole of a town, a victory over Zack Crash would make this stay a little more bearable. So yeah, the last time when I addressed Crash, I made some threats to him and his family and while I have been criticized heavily for that, I won’t retract a single word from that statement. That statement will stand until the very last day. Oh and allow me to warn each and every one of them who will stand against me in the future that I will do the same to your fucking family. You see, I was a good man, I was a man who wanted nothing but improvement BUT YOU ALL FUCKING HAD TO RUIN IT! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT, THEIR BLOOD WILL BE ON YOUR HANDS YOU FILTHY MANIACS! Yes, alright, enough rage, let’s stick to the point. It’s all going to start with Zack Crash you see. I will beat him on Voltage and from that point onward, each and every week, someone will go down. They might try to stop me by preventing me from participating in matches but then, I will attack them backstage, in their hotel rooms and even when they are inside their locker rooms or the trainer’s room. Nothing can prevent me from destroying those bandits who have ruined my work and so remember this very carefully, no is safe from me.

We might be just weeks away from the grandest event in EAW known as Pain for Pride Ten but trust me when I tell you, I don’t give a fuck about that. I don’t care about participating in a particular match because no matter what match I am in, it will all result in the same, bloodbath. The blood of my opponents will flow painting the ring red and a foul smell will surround the arena. I will unleash hell on each one of those filthy maniacs and there will be blood everywhere, blood and weapons scattered as I beat the crap out of everyone. Yes, YES! IT’S GOING TO BE SO EXCITING. THE MASSACRE, THE DESTRUCTION. IT’S ALL GOING TO HAPPEN, YES! Pain for Pride will have pain and I will be the bringer but pride? Not for my opponents. I warned you all that a revolution is coming and it will start on Voltage with the defeat of Zack Crash. Like I said, no one is safe from me and I won’t rest until you all go down or until the People with Class is the last one standing.

(Would you look at who it is? It's one half of your EAW Unified Tag Team Champions, David Davidson arriving backstage at The Dunkin’ Donuts Center. David is wearing an all black suit…three pieces of course because he's no bum. Just a true professional. So David is walking all sad with a slight frown on his face. He's wearing shades indoors to prove his toughness. The camera pans to a podium between The R.A.D. Betting Agency door and the stoop. David takes a deep breath and stands in front of the podium. He opens his briefcase and gets a piece of paper out and puts it before him. You can hear the press taking pictures.)

David: Please, please…enough with the pictures. Now's not the time. What I have to say today is extremely and I mean EXTREMELY important…it'll change your lives forever. Plus none of you are getting my good side. So we’ll have to wait until after I'm done speaking, as I'll be sure to pose with my golden bundle of joy, this here championship. She's a beaut. The interviewer shined her just moments ago. But yes, I'm here for business. This is regarding what you saw on Showdown last week. Yeah, you know. You know exactly what I'm talking about. What we did to Lyuncrust, an innocent human being…at least I think he is human, well let's just say what we did was inhumane. And man, am I embarrassed by our actions. How we could stoop so low, I'll never know. It was uncharacteristic of The High Rollerz to do such a thing. We are good Christian boys who live the straight edge lifestyle so you automatically know we are good people. We would never and I repeat NEVER attack a man in cold blood like that…I guess something just came over us. Because you see, 9.9 times out of 10, we are all about honor and dignity and respect and all that jazz, you know? We pride ourselves on setting a good example for those who watch Showdown each and every week, whether it's casually or religiously. You can count on us. I mean, the younger generation of fans love us, especially in Chile, Cameroon and Poland. We are very big deals. There's no other way to put it. We are rock stars. We are seen as gods and that's being modest. Yet we don't let the fame get to our heads. Describe us with one word other than humble. Go on. Do it. You can't, can you? Because that's exactly what we are, humble. Do you know what else I am? I'm also the bigger man. That's right, I'm here to issue a public apology to Lyuncrust and Stuffed Crust as a whole. Give me a second to clear my throat,  thank you. Dear, Stuffed Crust…if I could take back what we did last week, you better believe I would. Because that's not what we are about. We don't stand for violence. We promote peace and love. If you haven't already noticed. We don't look forward to partaking in barbaric acts. Such as looking to end professional wrestling careers. The thought of someone actually doing that disgusts me to my very core. People are sick and twisted these days. But back to this speech, or should I say, apology, that I wrote. I know you felt many emotions last Saturday, Lioncross and Nobi. Anger and sadness being the top two. I too am emotional. That's why I'm wearing sunglasses indoors. To hide my tears. Because I don't want you to see them. I don't want your sympathy because I don't deserve it. Not now at least. I know you want to respond with violence to get your revenge. But I ask you two gentlemen, is violence truly the answer? Do two wrongs make a right? I don't think so. I hope you are past that third grade mentality. Lastly, before I answer questions, I need to bring up the fact that we should be punished for our actions. We need to be taught a valuable lesson. Some would suggest we should be stripped of our titles. But personally, I don't think that's good enough. That doesn't fit the crime. We need to go above and beyond so we can make sure that nobody makes the same mistake as us. No repeat offenders! So here comes the punishment. I need this recorded live. So people can see first hand that we live in a world where certain decisions and actions can have serve consequences. Here I go. 

(David rolls up his left sleeve. He cracks his neck because he's really nervous. He looks into the camera as he raises his right hand. He takes a deep breath and slaps his wrist.)

David: Bad David! There, I did it. It was brutal. I might not be able to compete this week after that, but if anyone can, it'd be me because I'm a world class athlete. At this time I'll take some hard-hitting questions. 

Reporter #3: David…what's your favorite show to binge watch on Netflix? 

David: Ummmmm, depends on the mood. Lately I watched Sons of Anarchy. Good show. But like, ask questions about Stuffed Crust. That question was totally off topic and you should feel bad. Yes, you in the front! 

Reporter #547: Who would win in a fight, the interviewer or Lyuncrust? 

David: Probably the interviewer, only because Lyuncrust is laying in a hospital bed somewhere…because of us, haha! Yes, you? 

Reporter #7.3: Well it looks like you'll be facing Stuffed Crust at Pain for Pride. Before I ask my question, I would like to say sorry for that. You and Jack deserve more and better than that. 

David: Yes, yes..we do and thank you. Go on. 

Reporter #7.3: Will this match be an eating contest, so they can at least have a shot in this match? It would at least be competitive that way.  

David: Ha I get it! Because they are bad wrestlers and stuff. Funny! But no, it's going to be a classic slobber-knocker. They'll get what's coming to them. Yes you in the back. No, not you. The guy beside you. Yeah, the funny looking one. 

Funny Looking Guy: Did you just call me a funny looking guy? David come on, it's me, the interviewer. I'm with you every week. 

David: Um what are you doing here? This press conference is for reporters and interviewers only. 

Interviewer: But..

David: Get out. Next question. 

Reporter #M: I see this week you are facing Nobi. What are your thoughts on what he said earlier this week? 

David: Ahh yes, this is true. I am indeed facing Obi Wan Ke…Nobi and yes I'm going to pretend I'm the first one to ever call him that…but as I was saying, I've been looking forward to this match/moment since the day he got that fluke victory over my partner, Jack months ago. And yeah I get a lot of times when somebody loses, they cry out it was a fluke. It's the go to! But in Jack’s case, it's actually true. I mean he got mustard squirted into his eyes for fuck sakes. He could have gone blind after that incident and all Stuffed Crust did was laugh it off. Because they are bad people. That's what bad people do! Worse role models ever. But then again, not everyone can be The High Rollerz. We lead my example at all times. It's just what we do. Let's go back to Nobi, however. You claim you never wanted this to go down the way that it did and that may be true, Nobi…but it doesn't change the fact that you chose it. This is your doing. We may have been the gun, but you're the one that pulled the trigger, when you and your two pals decided to play superheroes and save Brian Daniels’ career. So, we retaliated. We waited in the weeds for the perfect time to strike. And last week, the timing was just so perfect. Oh so perfect! I hope you realize that what happened to Lyuncrust last week, is not our fault either. It's yours! THE BLOOD IS ON YOUR HANDS NOBI AND LIONCROSS! I can tell that when I look into your eyes, you weren't ready for this. You thought this would be some classic high school prank war, but it's not. It's much more. This…this is your end, Nobi and most certainly, Lioncross. We all know that at Pain for Pride, it'll be Lioncross’ swan song. His ears will be exposed to the drum of defeat. And not to get all therapist on you, but how will that make you feel, Nobi? Knowing that you played a major part in letting Lioncross down? Letting him go out on a sour note? That's your friend right? The man that's helped open doors for you. THE SAME DOORS THAT WE’LL SHUT IN YOUR FACE! The moment Lioncross is gone, you might as well pack your bags too. There's no going up for you. Just down. You'll go back to being lost in the shuffle. Return to your once heated feud with Cody Marshall most likely. But what about Pizza Boy?!! Yeah, what about him? It's funny in a way because whenever we are dealing with Stuffed Crust, he's usually nowhere to be found because he's focused on other matters, or opponents, such as King Jones or currently, Lannister. If he wins the Answers World Championship, or I suppose win it BACK, then he'll forget all about you, Nobi. Just like everybody else has. 

(David takes a lighter out of his pocket to prove how tough and cool he is and he flicks the light on and hovers his hand over the flame.)

David: You are so heated, Nobi. So so heated. You are hellbent on taking us out and taking our titles away in the process. But you won't. You are simply incapable of pulling off such an act. 

(David flicks the light off and focuses back at the camera.)

David: In case you haven't realized this yet, I love toying with you. It's so easy and entertaining to fuck with people. Because most people have a short fuse. They wear their hearts on their sleeves. They, just like you Nobi, let the anger get to their heads and shortly after, that anger poisons the brain. They no longer think, but react. You want to beat the crap out of me. Pummel me to the ground. Make me say uncle! Do people still do that? Ah, oh well. But you even said it yourself, you hate me. You hate Jack. You hate The High Rollerz. As for me, I don't hate you. I don't hate Lioncross or Lyuncrust or The Pizza Boy. This isn't personal to me. This is a title defense. This is fun and games for us because we've already beaten you once before and at Pain for Pride, you can replace once with twice. Also, we are going to kill your hopes and dreams along the way. That right there puts a smile on my face. But why would we do such a thing? Simple, because we can. We are the greatest tag team in EAW’s history which means we don't sweat teams like you. It's almost like an exhibition for us. That's all. Hey Nobi, you know what rhymes with all…bawl. You are an expert when it comes to bawling, aren't you? Crying about our tactics. Trying to air it out like dirty laundry. But the thing is, I don't care. If I had morals and a conscience, then yes, maybe I would feel bad for the sins I've committed, but I don't. All we care about are results and these titles. We get victory after victory. And sure some of those wins aren't “clean”, but guess what Nobi? Those wins are just that..wins. You see, unlike you Nobi, we don't let certain guidelines cripple and handicap us. But you do you. Continue to wrestle with a code of honor. Be a goody two-shoes because it's helped you get soooooo far. You've won countless titles. You've headlined numerous FPV’s…oh wait, you haven't. Do you see where I'm going with this? Your outlook on life is holding you back. And as far as I'm concerned, someone like you doesn't belong in the dog-eat-dog world that is EAW. Good guys finish last, Nobi. Such a famous saying, yet a true one at that. Before I go, I would appreciate it if you did me a favor, Nobi, just this one...

Tell Lyuncrust I wish him a speedy recovery. Well, tell him when he wakes up that is. 

(David can't help but smile. Camera faces to black.)

 
Any shred of decency that Tarah had is gone that’s considering she had any to begin with. Claiming to be a leader and what has she done so far this week?  Attempted to stomp out her opposition and crush their skills and careers using verbal assault.  Less like a leader and more like a bully It’s true and you people who are watching this know it’s true. All she has done so far is just butcher myself and the other two because obviously that’s a leader’s job.  I know most of you dumb-minded audience members won’t care as long as Tarah gets to curb stomp the villain at the end of the night, right? Cheer on your Anti-Hero but when she falls to a villain like me, you will learn that your Supergirl can’t be there to be defeat all of the villains and this is one in front of you will be the end of her. I outclass your leader in every simple way when in the ring, I will run circles around her and showcasing my skill as The Best Wrester. You’re probably going to fight for Extreme Enigma’s legacy well simply put out there for you all, I’m not. I’m going for my legacy over anyone else’s. Right now, no one else matters to me. I’m just using this as my platform to the big times, to the rightful place at the top where I truly deserve to be.  While you stay here right at the bottom meanwhile my career is going on an upward climb to the top where the challenge lies for me to beat. More opportunities for me to get the spotlight completely focused on me as it really should be.
 
I desire that spotlight, the respect I have earned but not yet received from the locker room. I’m going to force right out of them on my way to the top. Where I will stand alone, not a single soul will come close and no one near.
 
Especially you Amelie, I think highly of myself because I know it’s true. I call myself The Best Wrestler on Empire because I have proven that point since DAY 1 in this company. Even before Empire was alive, I knew that I was the best wrestler the moment I stepped into this company. I showed you  last week, and I remember right how I knocked you out with a backfist and then spiked your head into the ring. I proved my point that I can beat you, I am continuing to show that my hype that I have surround myself with as The Best Wrestler. Some Blonde isn’t on my level and will probably never be there. So thinking that Amelie’s chances of winning are none to begin with even Tarah wasn’t placed here. Simply put, she’s going to lose at Terminus and I don’t think there’s much more to say. She’s going to get eliminated and return to rotting away in the undercard of Empire. That’s what will happen when you lose to The Ace. When I beat you down and reveal to the world what happens when you think you are actually worth something more then you truly are.
 

There’s this old folk tale in Asian countries better known as the “Red String of Fate”. Where there will always be an invisible red string to everything they believe is there’s for the taking, so mine is truly attached to everything. Every title that Empire has to offer and beyond that. The world itself will belong to me, right in the palm of my hand. When it’s all said and done, I will be at the top, with no one around me. It’s going to start with a simple match against The Frenchie, The Bully and The Canadian. Nothing here will be stopping my Rise to the Top, I’ve worked way too hard to fall here, so right now I’m not thinking about how many I will eliminate but how will I score the last fall and become your Extreme Enigma Match Representative.

 

 
(Cloudy Thoughts)
 
“You know what you have to do when you go out there.”
 
“Hai sensei.”
 
“This will be your biggest challenge. You’re not just fighting for you, but for someone else.”
 
“Hai.”
 
“Imagine the fight before it happens. See your opponent's truth. Understand your foe by becoming them.”
 
“Hai.”
 
“War is complex. See the layers as they unfold- strike when you’re ready.”
 
“Hai.”
 
“Victory must be assured. It is a reality, a fact nobody never deny.”
 
“Hai.”
 
“Do not think like a peasant. There are no ‘what ifs.' Aspire for something more.”
 
“Hai.”
 
“Become a god of war.”
 
“Hai Manami-sensei.”
 

 
I don’t expect you to fear death, Alexis. My concern is getting Lauryn back safe- you know, to her birth mother. No matter how hard you try, you can’t replicate the real thing sweets, and here I figured having two of your own would make you realize that. Or maybe you distrust the adult world, and would rather raise the children you save on your own? Listen to me sweets; you can’t keep every child in the universe, you can’t. Maybe if Sanatorium expanded their horizons- but you guys can’t huh? That means more protection from the authorities, more hands, and your pockets, and eventually, Joseph would no longer be a dark savior. Your family would be one all right- it’d be a goddamn mafia! The next Omerta if you will. That’s the thing about success and furthering your agendas- everyone gets lost in their maze. When I watch you, I see a blind mouse stuck in her labyrinth. (sighs) The Sad thing is I’m the minotaur that’s going to eat you alive. Your scars didn’t give you armor, just a false illusion that pain means you suffered for your sins, paid the cost for victory. Pain is- well it’s just that sweets. Sometimes you get hurt whether it’s physically or mentally. I like to believe that pain and suffering is a result of the choices that we make. We choose to get into a business where no matter what you’re going to get hurt. You’re going to take that suplex, that tag partner is going to betray you, the powers that be are going to overlook you, etc. There’s more heartbreak than celebration, and EAW is living proof of that. Only the Hall of Famers can say they lived a successful career, an aspiration we all wish to achieve. But the path of a wrestler isn’t an easy one is it? We can’t forget that we’re celebrities, role models, spouses, lovers,  siblings, and parents; shit gets complex. 
 
There was no EAW when Michael Hunter was active. Heck, companies would come and go. The 90s was a turbulent time for the industry, and the early 2000s signaled a resurgence. By then, Michael’s injuries were too much, and he was forced to retire. The sad thing about our career is there’s no retirement plan- you have to make your own. What all Mike had was the gym, and once he was gone, Angela was on her own. No matter how hard things got, she made sure her two baby girls always had a place to sleep and food on the table. I helped when I could- hell Angie would never have to work again, but that’s not the life she wants for herself. I can’t just step in and take away her ability to provide. That’s what you did Alexis. You took away another woman’s ability to provide. You should’ve never involved my family in this. They’re just innocent bystanders- then again, this was all about motivating me by force. You admitted it yourself. Do you want me at my worst?
 
(starts laughing)
 
You can’t even comprehend how bad it’s going to get for you, sweets. Those toys that’ll be lying around the arena, the steel and barbed wire surrounding us? I know ways to hurt you that’ll make those cigarette burns look love taps. Since you like pain so much, you’re going to love what I have in store for you. I don’t stop when my back is against the wall, Alexis. I’m going to gnaw away at you until there’s nothing left. Even your soul is up for grabs. When I leave that ring, there’ll be nothing left. For a long time, the EAW universe will talk about what they saw transpire in the ring. The IWC will be excited about seeing a live execution. But, like all things, the EAW universe will move on. The Coven will move on.
 
Joseph will move on.
 
You’ll be forgotten, just another notch in my win column. A fate worse than death for someone who died by my hand. You see Lexi, I do understand you. Everything you’ve said I agree. That’s why I have to destroy you. You and I are so much alike- which scares me. The only difference is I realized how out of control things have gotten. There’s no limit with you, and now innocent people are involved. Maybe you wouldn’t let them burn Serenity, perhaps Lauryn would be safe in your care. I can’t take those chances because, like me, you’re willing to go to any length to make your point. I lost so many friends due to my actions. I missed the respect of my peers, and it nearly cost me the love of my life. It’s too late for redemption- all I can do is move forward. I have to thank you, Alexis. You taught me there’s no avoiding my destiny. My life consists of competition and war. I’m addicted to it. No matter how hard I try to tell myself otherwise, I relish the fact you made things worse between us. This battle is a fight you can’t win sweets. You already admitted it yourself: I’m a fighter first. Wrestling is my bread and butter, what I was bred to do. Generations of Japanese wrestlers on one side and a legacy of military soldiers on the other. I am the culmination of war in the arena and on the battlefield! Don’t be afraid- be blessed that you will die by my hands in a blaze of glory. I can offer you a swift death since my only objective is to win for Lauryn’s sake. One blink and you’ll be in a better- Nah. With the things you’ve done, you’re probably going straight to hell. Heh, in the future I’ll be there as well. We’ve done a lot of wrong things together; there’s no place in heaven for us.
 
On Thursday we enter in a place between heaven and hell. A private realm shared between you and me, watched by the EAW universe at large. There are no safe spaces in The Devil’s Pit, no bubbles to hide inside. The only sounds in this echo chamber will be your screams of pain. Two more days until you die Alexis Diemos. Welcome to the Green Mile.
 
(Looks at her phone for a few moments)
 
I just ordered your final supper for the night before. I threw in a bottle of wine too. Such a shame you have to die in a foreign land. But hey, soldiers die overseas all the time. Sucks, but thus the nature of war.

Considering the pain in the ass it is at times to get stuff posted without a mod present as well as the main site being under construction, I'll post Google Docs links to the Empire Eight rankings for Empire here until the main site is running properly again or in the case I can't find a mod to post them.

#3 and #4 were turned into a combo edition: 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1HEaGNZtWRvXJfyDQHgX2wf_Ra7xBpfoGfLUSkcLD8lw/edit?usp=sharing

#5 will be added shortly.

So yeah, after some heavy days of back and forth verbal assaults, it has really been a quiet twenty four hours. Of course my friend Jon has said some very intelligent words about the People with Class and our worthless opponents but still, something has to be said from my part to break this silence and so, I will oblige. Before I start though, allow me to issue a fair warning to my opponents. Nasir and Aren, what you are about to hear from me contains words that may injure you mentally and leave you in a state of terror. So, I highly recommend that you take the necessary precautions before hearing this and also, please don’t blame me or Jon if something goes wrong with your life because of this. Lately I have seen that guys you are blaming the People with Class for almost everything that is wrong and trust me when I tell you that is something we do not appreciate. So yeah, please take the necessary precautions and no blaming, alright?

What I am about to tell you all today is a story, a story of two guys named Stupid and Idiot. So both stupid and idiot were born on one fine day….well I am not entirely sure about the day being fine but you know what? Let’s make a positive assumption and move forward. So yeah, Stupid and Idiot stepped into childhood and much of that was spent in the shadow of greater guys, guys who were not only talented but also good looking. These two guys went to a school where they were least popular candidates and also were bullied at each and every instance of their lives. After getting bullied heavily, they went crying to their parents who would tell them tales of heroes and knights and they would sleep in the night peacefully dreaming that one day they would become those heroes while the real winners in the school were fucking the most beautiful girls in the school. Well anyways, Stupid and Idiot grew up and very soon, they found out that they sucked in almost everything. They weren’t the most athletic and so they couldn’t pursue sports, they weren’t the ‘nerdy’ types and so they had no chances whatsoever in securing a shot at higher education. Apart from that, they also sucked in music, oration and many other things and so they soon realized that they were simply fucked. Again they went crying to their parents but this time, they were greeted with nothing but slaps and were kicked out of their house because their parents were smart enough to realize that trash is best kept outside rather than inside the house. So, they wandered from here to there crying and watching as the real winners started talking their places in the world. They saw in surpirse as they saw men like me getting all the glory, women and money and forcing other people to bow in front of them. But whenever they came, they received nothing but kicks and abuses. That’s how their life went on.

However, one day Stupid and Idiot did something different and decided to attend a wrestling show. In that show, they saw something that became the turning point of their lives. They saw the people or the ‘fans’ cheering for guys who were good ‘guys’ inside the ring. Sure, the ‘wrestling’ from those guys was absolutely dismal but hey, the people still loved it! They also saw how the people started booing the so called ‘bad’ guys even if they actually did some decent wrestling. That is the day they decided, they were going to be professional wrestlers. They will do something ‘good’ in front of the ‘doofus’ fans and instantly be a hero in their eyes, something they were unsuccessful at during their school days. They would cheer for them and clap for them and they so they would become the heroes and the knights about whom they read about. Sure, they had no idea about the wrestling part but hey, no one cares about that right? They only care about who is ‘heroic’ and who is ‘villainous’ inside the ring. Thus, their wrestling career started. They started to wear some tights, do some foolish things in front of the people and overall convince them that they are with the good side and you know what? It actually worked. The people started cheering them on and soon, the world started talking about two ‘extraordinary’ talents who would surely become future legends. Because of their popularity, they started getting opportunity after opportunity at greater things while the guy who was actually talented started fading away. Time flew by and soon, Stupid and Idiot became champions and started hogging the limelight even more. However, after sometime, they got bored. I mean sure, they were winning and all but still, it all seemed kind of monotonous to them and they desperately started searching for ways to make this shit interesting again. That is when it hit them…TAG TEAM! Yes, Stupid and Idiot decided to form a tag team and they decided to name it the Stupid-Idiot Connection, an accurate name in my opinion. They claimed that they were friends in order to make this team more believable to the people but deep inside they knew that this was all an effort or an understanding to remove their boredom and of course win some tag team titles. When those objectives will be achieved, they would soon go back to being single competitors with the promise of teaming up for no reason whenever they felt bored again.

Now that was a wonderful story isn’t it? Wait what? You want to hear the conclusion? You sure about that? You sure you don’t want to end it while it is still in happy mode? Well alright. So one day, Stupid-Idiot team became a little too cocky because of all the success and they challenged a well formed team of winners known as the ‘Classy ones’. Expectedly, they lost because this new team gave no shit about the opinions of others and wrestled like monsters. However, Stupid-Idiot learnt no lesson from this. They claimed that this victory was a fluke and challenged them again. Infuriated, the Classy Ones accepted the challenge and made an arrangement amongst themselves that they would put a full stop to this worthless time wasting. So they next time they met, they decimated the team of Stupid-Idiot and so ruthlessly that they had to pack it in and go back to the same dark corner from where they came. Again, they started to cry just like their childhood but this time, there was no one there to wipe their tears and tell those tales of heroes and knights.

THE END!

Aah, such a wonderful story with an amazing ending. Oh and by the way I should mention that all the characters in this story are fictional and any resemblance to real life people is purely co-incidental. This is Mike Showman and I will see you all next time, with a new story.    


Have a nice day!

(Cloudy Thoughts)


“I made up my mind.”


“I know Mia. Just...be careful.”


“I’ll try. As long as I get Lauryn back, I don’t care what happens next.”


“Just come back home when it’s all over. Come back to me.”


“If the fates will it, so be it.”


Honestly Meagen, I don’t know if there’s anything else left to say. I told you what’s going to happen, and you’re going to continue to deny the possibility of my vengeance coming to fruition. In a way I don’t blame you- that title you hold in those tiny hands of yours is the only thing you have going for you. Without it, you’re nothing. Just another yes woman for Alexis to look down upon. This journey of mine made me realize I have a long way to go in establishing my legacy as the greatest female wrestler of all time. There are those in this promotion who are better than me. I can safely say that Brody Sparks is not among them. You haven’t proven shit except that you can beat two has been and beat my bae’s record by hiding from real competition. You’ve proven to the world that you hide behind children to get shit done. You’ve proven to the EAW universe that you can be easily riled. You’ve proven to me that I have no worries tomorrow night. You will pay for your crimes Meagen. I will beat you. Your belt belongs to me now, along with your aspirations of going to Pain for Pride.

It’s too bad things have to be this way. I once respected you, considered you an equal. You’re more than capable of continuing on your own. What you lack Meagen is confidence in your ability. Even if you think you’re good, deep down inside you’re unsure if you can establish and sustain a legacy. It’s alright sweets because we’re about to have a merger. Everything that you were, everyone you ever wanted to be shall be absorbed into me. 

I am thou.

Thou art I.

Sayonara Meagen Christine Vaughn.

Am I supposed to feel sorry for you? Am I supposed to have tears running down my face because you weren't on Pain for Pride last year? You weren't on the New Breed team that I had to carry on my back?! I am the last person standing from that team last year because the rest of them didn't give a damn. They don't care about this company, they don't care about this division! HARD WORK, BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS GOT ME TO THE POINT WHERE I AM TODAY AND THAT IS THE RULER OF THE NEW BREED DIVISION! Ever since I captured the Young Lions Cup trophy last year the goal was always to capture the most prestigious title in company history and that is the New Breed Championship. Don't get me wrong Mark, you have amazing talent but you are just not as good as me! Be different from this new generation of wrestlers, put your damn phone down for a minute and care about yourself. I see a lot of my old self in you. You go out to the ring every-night and you use that crowd energy to your advantage and not only win them over but winning matches in the process. WELL WHO THE HELL CARES? WHO THE HELL CARES ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA? WHO CARES ABOUT THESE DAMN FANS? WAKE UP! WANT TO KNOW THE REASON I STAND BEFORE YOU TODAY THE CURRENT AND LAST EVER EAW NEW BREED CHAMPION? THE REASON WHY I AM HAVING THE GREATEST TITLE REIGN IN COMPANY HISTORY? IT IS BECAUSE I HAD AMAZING GUIDANCE FROM SCOTT OASIS AND TOOK THE ADVICE OF BLOCKING THOSE HORRIBLE FANS OUT! The only person I focus on is myself and what do I get when I focus on myself? I get the expensive suits, I already hate the girls but more and more of them are coming in and of course my private jet! The Social Media? Like the king of dorks? You really think I care? You really think I care about likes? I care about followers? I DON'T! I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT ANYONE ELSE ON THIS PLANET! I ONLY CARE ABOUT MYSELF AND ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS THAT FRIDAY NIGHT YOUR IN A FIGHT THAT YOU CAN'T GET OUT OF! YOU ARE STEPPING INTO MY PLAYGROUND! YOU ARE STEPPING INTO MY YARD! I AM CALLED THE WRESTLING MACHINE FOR A REASON! I am the best fucking wrestler on the planet, better then CM Banks. I am better then Methuselah and I am sure as hell better then StarrStan! So many times now I've heard "This is the new and improved Mark Michaels! Or the new and improved Leonhart!" And to me it's all a load of crap because it doesn't mean anything. I was the same way when I arrived on Voltage, every week I would enter a match expecting a different outcome but guess what? The same outcome would always stay the same! I am getting an ass kicking of a life time? Man I sure bet that is going to happen. Do you realize what happens to people when they step in the ring with me? I break bones, I make people bleed, and make them suffer. All those years as a kid I wished I had an escape route and now I do. Ever since I joined the amateur wrestling team at The Ohio State University all I wanted to do was release that anger.

Throughout my years winning division titles little bits of anger was released but not all of it. Ever since I was a little child I always wanted to be was a pro wrestler and the transition to EAW was my way out of releasing all that anger in my opinion. At first more and more anger built due to my early start on Voltage...

I feel like once I grabbed that Young Lions Cup a lot of the momentum shot up but was quickly crushed at Pain for Pride Nine and then shortly after at the draft show losing to Aria Jaxon. I was drafted to Dynasty and felt like a lost soul. Once Scott Oasis approached me I knew it was my way out and ever since then I dominated ever since. I AM THE GREATEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO THIS BRAND IN A VERY LONG TIME, I AM MAKING THIS DIVISION GREAT AGAIN! THIS FRIDAY NIGHT I WILL MARK YOUR FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME OFF THE TOTEM POLE AND YOU FALL TO THE GROUND SO WILL YOUR PAIN FOR PRIDE DREAMS! I WILL RETAIN MY TITLE AND SIT AT THE TOP OF MY THRONE BECAUSE BOTH OF YOUR BLOOD WILL BE ON MY HANDS!

Burning Desire Promo #3






(The scene opens inside the private loft suite of EAW's Social Media Champion "Picture Perfect" Mark Michaels, at the Franklin Guesthouse in Brooklyn, New York. It's here during the mid-evening hours that we find Michaels sitting down on the living area sofa, intently studying footage of Anthony Leonhart hitting the Lion Roar on several of his opponents.)

Michaels: "Don't let him build up a head of steam. Keep him grounded."



(Michaels leans in closer as the images on screen switch up to that of Lucas Johnson setting up the F5 and the Machine Break on various opponents.)


Michaels: "Can't let him catch me mid-air. And definitely don't want to give him my arm."


(A knock at the door makes Michaels pause the footage. He opens the door to find his agent Johnny J standing in the hallway.)

Johnny: "Hey Mark, you mind if I come in?"


(Michaels takes a step to the side to allow Johnny inside.)


Johnny: "How did the workout go today?"


Michaels: "Excellent as always. I feel I'm at my very best Physically this week."


Johnny: "And I see you're studying, you find anything useful?"


Michaels: "Of course I did Johnny, by this time Friday night I'll have picked apart and exploited every chink in their armor, and that New Breed belt will be as good as mine."


Johnny: "You sure of that? I just heard what both Anthony and Lucas had to say about this match and they sound plenty fired up."


Michaels: "Oh Their fired up?! Well I'm a goddamn California wildfire that has spread all the way out to the heart of New York State! That's how fired up I am! Compared to me there nothing more than a couple of those little sparklers that you give to kids on the forth of July. Believe you me John, nobody wants to win this one more than me. Nobody has been chomping at the bit harder than I have, and nobody has has a bigger burning desire to become the EAW New Breed Champion more than I do!

I most certainly have a bigger desire than that incomprehensible asshole Leonhart! I mean was he high when he decided to go off on that tirade?! I could hardly make out what the fuck he was trying to say. He thinks I called him a samurai. What I actually called him was some wannabe poser who saw a few too many Kung Fu movies on Netflix and decided to just kinda do that. He's as big a disgrace to himself as he is to Professional Wrestling. All his talk about how some jackass in Japan conned him into thinking he's worth half a damn in the ring. Where was all that training last week? I beat Anthony in less than five minutes, and yet somehow he was rewarded with being slapped on to my New Breed Championship bout. Leonhart needs to face up to the fact that I am superior to him in every conceivable way. There is no 'High Tech' reason, whatever that means, why I'm gonna kick his ass. The reason is actually quite simple. It's because I'm better than he is. I'm a better wrestler, and I'm certainly better on the mic, just try and make heads or tails out of his interviews.


It's time for Anthony to pull his head out of the clouds, or out of his ass, and open his eyes to the fact that he will be standing across the ring from the single greatest professional athlete to ever grace EAW with his presence.

You want to pretend to be lion Anthony? Get ready to be skinned alive by and turned into a throw rug that I'm gonna wipe the mud from my boots on. If you know what's best for you, you'd better skip coming down to the Barclay Center for Burning Desire, or at the most maybe just buying a ticket, and sitting your ass down to watch the the future face of this company, take possession of a title that has long been overdue to be handed to him. This is my night, this is my Championship, and this is my time! The Mark Michaels era of Elite Answers Wrestling is about to be ushered in, and with it a new golden age for the sport of professional wrestling. And your dumb ass is about to get a front row seat of me getting my hand raised and my friends, followers, and subscribers shaking the foundations of the arena with their chants and cheers!


What a moment it will be, when I am standing tall over both you and that gravy filled fuck Lucas Johnson!

That's right Luke, one way or another I am gonna be the one who walks out Friday Night as the leader of the Next Generation. One who the locker room can be proud of. A ring general that took men like Mister DeDeDe, Y2Impact, Zack Crash, and Scott Oasis to the limit SINGLE HANDEDLY. You go on and on about how you brown nosed Scotty till he maybe threw you a nickel's worth of free advice. You happen to forget that he ran like a little bitch the moment he got matched up against Mark Michaels! Kinda the way you tried to run and hide whenever I called you out to face me.

You want to run your mouth about ending my Pain for Pride dreams? Mother fucker you better get ready to eat those words the same way you stuff your face with everything in the trays at catering! Because while I'll be stepping down to the ring with the New Breed Championship wrapped Perfectly around my waist, you'll be outside trying buy tickets from a scalper.

You still haven't learned the difference between us. You try and try to be a star, I am a star. You beg and plead for the spotlight to be on you, I get it every time I step out in the stage. You try to pass yourself off a a great wrestler, I prove it with every performance I give in that ring. I am the man who stands alone of being called Perfect! I am the man whose in ring talents and endless charisma have gained him an army of people who spend their entire day wanting to know where he's going, what he's doing, and who he's going to beat the next time he steps in the ring!

So Keep telling yourself that you're some kind of conquer who has made the entire division his bitch, you and me both know that you just barely eked out a win at hell's warpath, and have been the definition of a paper champion since. Hell had to straight up crib my style just to stay relevant here in EAW. Bitch keep puffing out your chest and scream like that jackass on voltage, solo whatever the fuck is his name. It won't do you a lick of good when the time comes for me to plant your fucking skull into the mat! I am coming at Burning Desire to recuse the New Breed Championship from becoming a trivial title. I am coming to save it from having to spend seventy days, barely strapped to your waistline, as you roll in mediocrity like a pig rolls around in shit!

You want me to bow down to you for finally finding enough of your balls to nail me from behind? How bout I'll do so after you finish kissing my ass for giving you a moment that will live forever on social media. Because after I get done whipping you worst than your grandpa did last week, When I stand over you with that belt held high over my head, just think about all the likes that image will get.

This Friday will be the crowning moment of my career thus far. It will be the moment looked back upon as the one that changed the entire landscape of EAW forever. It will be a Moment that will be replayed and looked back at in the annuals of history as the first in a long, long line of Championships held by theTwitter Trendsetter, the Instagram Icon, the Hashtag Hero to millions upon millions of men, women, and children the whole world round. The first piece of gold in EAW that was claimed by the future face of the industry, the brightest burning star that this company has ever known, and hands down the single greatest professional athlete to ever lace up a pair of boots and step thru the ropes. The man who is the Destiny of Dynasty, the undisputed Social Media Champion, and the absolute picture of Perfection. This will be looked on as the moment that "Picture Perfect" Mark Michaels took the next step in his path to greatness. So Lucas, and Anthony better start picturing THAT!"


(Michaels settles back into his seat and resumes his film study.)

FADE TO BLACK.

Voltage Promo #3


Sunday, 6:28 A.M., Dublin, Ireland


(The Scene opens outside the 3 Arena. It's here as the daybreak raises over the horizon that we find a lone figure with his back turned towards the camera entering the frame.)

???: "Though the road is long and winding, though it be treacherous and beset on all sides with strife, my masters have guided me to this place alongside the path that shall lead to their glorious reign. For tonight, They shall make their presence felt. Tonight they shall awaken the masses of the world with screams of terror and agony that shall pour out from the
Mouths of those who thought themselves to be greater than the ones who have sent me. Tonight, there is no fortress to strong, no tower to high, and no weapon forged that could prevent the streets running red..."


(The man turns to face the camera. His face is unmistakable. He is the man known as Solomon Caine.)


Caine: "... with blood. Oh yes, so as have they whispered in my ear, so shall it be done. Tonight they shall strike a blow to one who has belittled their power. One who has disregarded all that has been spoken of thru their messenger. Tonight shall bring the about the downfall of the proud who paid no heed to the warning that was sent!


Mike Showman, you question why I serve those who called me. Why I bring about their will upon this earth. It is the same reason as it has always been. I DONT WANT TO BURN!!! I don't want to be caught by the floor of fire! I don't want to know the horrible suffering that the rotten filth who walk this earth shall! I do what I must that I should be spared! I know what is to befall this world, I see it whenever I close my eyes! I cannot tell you adequately of the destruction that lies in wait. The woe and misery that shall sweep over all mankind and all he has built. That Mike Showman is why I serve.

Have I not spoken plainly when I said that it is not glory nor gold that I seek. It is not Pride or even how one goes about making a day's wage that concerns me. No, it is salvation, that is why I must do all that is commanded. If by tearing the flesh off your body is what must be done to save mine, than so be it. Should I be made to rip that evil tongue right out of your mouth, than I shall. I warned you Mike Showman, I warned you. Yet time and again you have disregarded all that I have said as theatrics. I tell you now that soon you shall see that there is no need for illusions or deception for me. For at the chosen hour, every last ill word that You have spoken of them, shall be another lash against you. Every barb that your mouth has tossed at my masters, shall counted against you when they unleash their wrath upon you.

You dare to compare yourself to them Showman? Do you hold any authority over any creature other than that wretch Jon McAdams? Do you hold the key to life and damnation in the palm of your hand?! Are you the one who is sending the fire that shall purge the world from the bastard filth?! No you are not. You are nothing compared to my masters, for they are the ones who can twist and manipulate the evil desires that Breed in the hearts of heathens such as yourself, to bring about all that they wish and Desire.

After tonight Mike Showman, it shall not matter who you have vanquished, it shall not matter whom you have bragging rights over, all that shall matter is that you shall recognize the works of their hand! The time has come for sign to the masses of their great might. The time has come to stay the demon of doubt that Infects the minds of you, and all who follow you. Now is the time when their great power shall bring the people of your class to your knees as you beg and plead for the smallest shred of mercy! This is a day of reckoning Mike Showman, wether you realize it or not, their shall be a great penalty for those who have ignored their call, for those who threw away a chance at salvation! Tonight they shall harvest a ripe fruit of the sweetest revenge.

Listen well for these are the words of the ones who have sent me, and hey must be made so!"


(Caine turns from the camera and lowers himself down to his knees before the large arena looming over him.)


The End.

Ares Vendetta wrote:

Stark wrote:

great fucking card so far! i'm hoping to see a Hiromu title defense (I'm not entirely sure how the BOSJ plays into hiromu defending on this dominion card).

 
Pending he doesn't win BOSJ himself, he should be defending against whoever wins it at the show.

OH Okay. I'd expect Kushida to win this one, but assuming Kenny wins the IGWP HWC at Dominion, I don't think they'd have Kushida win too. Two HUGE moments in one night might be too much, then again it's not unprecedented.

Kushida is my #1 pick for the tournament, followed by Hiromu himself for #2, with Ospreay and Ricochet tied at #3, and Scurll at #4. It's gonna be fucking sick.

Voltage Promo #3


Sunday, 7:40 p.m., Berkeley, California.


(The scene opens backstage at the Haas Pavilion. It's here in the building's boiler room that we find the outline of a lone figure. He steps forward, just coming into the light. As he does his sinister facial features and bloodshot eyes come into view. This is the man who has destroyed men's lives with his vicious attacks. This is the man the world knows as Solomon Caine.)


Caine: "And now stands the hour of sacrifice. It's craving for flesh and blood too great to be ignored. Now is a time when a life shall be laid down for the honor of my masters. Now is the time when they are coming to claim you Ahren Fournier. Now is the time when they desire to devour you. For with every opportunity you have been given to purify yourself and serve them, you have disregarded their warnings and cast them aside. You dismiss words of life and death as repetitive rambling, the words of a fool. I tell you the message does not change for my masters are still coming! They are still bringing an unending damnation to wretched Heathens such as yourself who hear not even the simplest of terms! Make no mistake Ahren Fournier, that the ones who sent me, they are coming, with every moment that passes, they draw that much closer.

But you, you have become bloated on yourself. You cannot see past the end of your own nose. When I spoke to you, I sent word of their gracious offer of mercy onto you. How they could have spared you from the terrors that haunt my eyes whenever I close them. And you could not bring yourself to care. YOU DID NOT CARE!!! You pathetic fool. What kind of filth cares not about his own life?! You have no motivation, why should you? You do not do the work for something greater than yourself. You only live to satisfy your wicked desires. And now you have indulged in them to Where they no longer give you the pleasure they once had. Your life is as empty and hollow as they had foretold. Now here you are delivered onto me that I might put an end to your suffering.

For this is not about spectacle or sport. This is neither about silver or gold. My purpose here is to spread the words of my masters to the masses. To bring forth the good news to those who would hear it. To give the world knowledge of the flood of fire and how it shall tear down all that the hands of man have built to its foundations. You have heard this warning, but you still deny the ones who sent me. You speak of how it random chance that keeps us forever locked in battle. I say now that this war between us shall rage on until the End Of Ages!

Only then, when their glorious reign has spread over the earth, shall I be free of you. I understand now that you are the thorn in my side that must drive me to continue with all they have charged me with. I must forever clash with you Ahren, that I see all the depravity of the worst Heathens made flesh. I must forever demonstrate the power that they wield.

Yes Ahren, it is not me you have to worry about. I have never claimed it was. You may jest and spread horrid lies about me. You may belittle me in front of all the world, for I am but the messenger. The Voice who cries out for this world to awaken from the deep slumber that has blinded the
I have never said it was I who deserved glory or to be feared. What I have always proclaimed is that it is the ones who sent me, they are the ones who whom you should hide away your face in fear of. They are the ones you are at odds with. They are the ones who desire to see the bones in your body broken. The flesh rended, your blood running thru the streets as a river. They shall have it. As their servant I shall see it done. For if I cannot, then I know I shall suffer a worst fate than you.

I won't let you be my downfall. I won't let you be my damnation. I WONT LET YOU BURN ME!!! I won't let you!!! I won't let you!!! I won't let you!!!


Goddamn you Ahren Fournier! For all of eternity my you feel the fire upon you! May your screams of pain echo till the end of time! May I rejoice all of my days upon seeing your wicked corpse being eaten alive by the flames!

Goddamn you Ahren, Goddamn you.


You, who tries to twist my words till they have no meaning. I seek not the knowledge of this earth. All that is known upon it shall pass away into death. I seek only the truth, the truth that comes from the ones who called out to me in whispers sweeter than honey. I seek only to serve them. Not to garner golden trinkets, or the validation of filthy wretches who will burn for all the atrocities they committed before the eyes of my masters.


You who disrespects the ones whom I serve. Perhaps you shall learn respect when you are sacrificed upon the altar. Or perhaps you will understand how they align all things in accordance with their will, when you are humiliated and defeated by a woman.


Enjoy the pleasures of this earth while you may. Eat and drink and lay with all that you can. For soon, sooner than you realize, your golden glory shall be ripped away from you. Your skills and talents shall fail you. Your body, mind, and spirit shall be crushed in the palm of their hand.

Remember well Ahren that you have brought this all upon yourself.



These are the words of my masters. They must be made so."


(Caine steps back into the shadows. His figure disappearing into the darkness.)


The End.

Dynasty Promo #3


@PicPerfectMichaels has posted a status update:


"You know something followers, as I sit here moments away from making my triumphal entry on the stage here on Dynasty. I have a moment to reflect on everything that has brought me to this moment. From the first Social Media site I signed up with, to the first time I worked out with Don Hibson, to seeing my first wrestling match on television that fateful Saturday morning, to one of my earliest memories. One where I heard someone say the words 'L'Etoile du Nord'. I remember asking my father what those funny words meant, he told me that it meant the star of the north. The motto of Minnesota ended up being a sort of prophetic word, because here I stand now today as not just the star of the north, but of the east, west, south, and every space in between. I have become the biggest thing to hit since... well since ever. I have become a crossover superstar that commands an army of followers on social media. I am the most popular superstar on Dynasty, the one who sells the boat loads of tickets and merchandise that keep this overbloated brand out of the red. I don't need to hide my identity, because as I've said time and again I have nothing to hide. You hear my Smiles, not a goddamn thing.

Every Friday night I step into the ring and make this company money hand over fist. Enough to keep bottom feeder talents like you with food on the table. But if you want to keep acting like an ungrateful bastard, that's fine. I'll do to you what I do to each and every other gimmick loving freak whose ever crossed my path. See I've told you already about how I've gone toe to toe with guys like Mr.DeDeDe and Y2Impact, but in your case Smiles I feel like I should talk about the other side of the coin. Like for instance remember RedRum the clown? Of course you don't because in his first match in the company I kicked his ass back to the side show tent. Or perhaps you might recall The Riddler, you know the guy who just a month ago everyone was wetting their panties over because he was dark and mysterious and spoke about his struggles or whatever. One screen cracker sent him back to whatever hole he crawled out of. He came in one week, got a shot at the new Breed Championship that he didn't earn, and Mark Michaels kicked his overrated ass right out of EAW (sounds kinda familiar doesn't it). See every time one of you goofy, gimmick guys act like you're the biggest thing since sliced bread, I right here to remind you that there's a big difference between the shit, and just being shitty.

See while you like to act like you're the only one who ever worked in bingo halls and swap meets, I'd like to remind you that there is a mega mart worth of guys just like you who I chew up and spit out faster than a fucking machine gun! You're nothing special Target, you're just another bargain bin gimmick whose head gets a little too big from his flavor of the month pop. But the sad thing with you is that while the other no names I've kicked to the curb at least were able to make something of splash (no matter how small it actually was) you Smiles, you aren't even a fucking blip on the goddamn radar. Believe you me pal, the only reason anybody half remembers your name, is because you have shared the ring with the single greatest professional athlete to ever step between the ropes.

Target, you sad, strange, Michaels envy suffering son of a bitch, You say I only put up the highlights on my social media post, well in a way your correct because my entire life is a highlight reel. From the moment I open my eyes, till I settle in for the night, every single solitary moment is must watch when it's me! That is why I deserve to be placed on those billboards and tv ads. I know what I am worth, and that is exactly why it pisses my right the fuck off that I'm being saddled with you Target. I deserve to be in the ring with the best of the best, it's the exactly reason I signed with EAW in the first place. Instead my talents are being squandered in a throw away squash match with some joker who no one will remember when he's gone.


You talked about it how you worked in shit holes with no A/C, well get ready because once I'm thru with you, those buildings will seem like Madison Square Garden compared to the places you'll have to take bookings at just to pay the light bill.

Target get ready, because you are in for an A-List ass kicking. One that you'll be feeling for weeks. I am about to smack you upside the head and send that mask of yours into the third row. I am fixing to walk out to that ring, in front of every last one of the doubters who said I'd never amount to anything in this business, and show them exactly how my combination of speed, strength, technique, and charisma, have earned me the title of Perfection incarnate. So Target why don't you just sit back, relax, and enjoy your first class seat on the end of my boot all the way across Lake Superior!

After I am done with you tonight Target, there won't be a single doubt in anyone's mind as to why I am the Twitter Trendsetter, the Instagram Icon, the #Hero to millions upon millions of followers from St. Paul to St. Ives. Followers who recognize my greatness. Followers who know that I am the future face of not just Elite Answers Wrestling, but of this great sport that I have dedicated my life to. They know that I am the the brightest burning star that this company will ever know, and thats it's all because I am hands down the single greatest professional wrestler to lace up a pair of boots. That is why I command this army of friends, followers, and subscribers, my skills in the ring have translated to me becoming their undisputed Social Media Champion. I am the unquestioned picture of perfection, and with Pain For Pride just over the horizon, I am going to prove to every last one of you head in the sand haters that there is no such thing as being better than Perfect! Target, you're gonna learn that lesson well in just a few minutes, so while you can go ahead and Picture THAT! #Dynasty #EAW #PicturePerfectHomecoming"


44,000,000 users liked this.

Tapping out of EAW's system? Are you serious right now? Are you actually stupid? I was not going to tap out of the company as a whole. You're way more stupid then Monroe when he was the one that offered the big contract for me to stay on Dynasty. Monroe knew I was going to be the one to save the New Breed Championship from staying off Friday nights and I did just that. You are right that one foot was out the door but It was out the door and looking at Showdown and Voltage not at other companies you one dumb lion. I wish you were a tiger so I could compare you to Kenny that retarded tiger from a few years ago. Get your facts straight before coming at me Leonhart, all these stupid remarks from your mouth are just making me more angry and that is not good news for you Anthony. Do you not believe me when I say I am going to end your career? You don't take me seriously? Little by little when the domino's started to fall with my best friend Scott Oasis, haters will be proven wrong and you're just another domino to fall Anthony Leonhart, and you will learn a valuable lesson in rookie mistakes. You will forever be known as the rookie that never made it to the big time, the big paychecks, all the girls and championship belts. I would get the fact checker out before you claim something that isn't correct Leonhart, "so next time, you wanna say something intelligent, think before you say the damn thing before there's the return of the boomerang hits you in the back of your freaking neck." That's a big pet peeve of mine, coming something that isn't correct. Like who are you? You shouldn't even be stepping in my ring? I AM THE RULER! THE NEW BREED DIVISION IS MINE, YOU WILL NOT STOP THE WRESTLING MACHINE! THIS FRIDAY I AM NOT ONLY GOING TO SPIT IN YOUR FACE, BUT THAT SPIT WILL TRANSFER TO EVERYONE IN YOUR INNER CIRCLE. YOUR FAMILY, YOUR FRIENDS YOUR GRANDPARENTS. MAYBE THAT IS SOMETHING YOUR BETTER THEN ME AT ANTHONY AND THAT IS HAVING BETTER GRAND PARENTS! CAUSE I CLEARLY DIDN'T, YOU WANT TO CALL ME A COWARD WITH USING THAT ANGER THAT HAS BEEN BUILDING EVER SINCE I WAS A LITTLE CHILD? HAVE YOU EVER EXPERIENCED THE PAIN I FELT? ....No! You haven't. But this coming Friday night in Minnesota, the very state I won my first NCAA Division One Heavyweight Championship in. I will walk out not only with my reclaimed New Breed Championship but also with your blood on my hands.

 
You think you know me, but you have no idea. You Ella Avas are just peas in a pod. Just like your sister you’re more interested in delivering some condescending attempt at a character assassination. And you know, maybe I am always the victim in my mind. But I always have something to fight for. Me. What’s wrong with wanting redemption? Apparently in your world it’s some sort of sin!
 
You want me to believe that Cam cashed in because I tried to take her head off, well, that’s all good but I don’t even remember seeing her. You see, I was so out of it from the four-person assault that just took place that I didn’t know Cameron from Brody Sparks. And that lethal kick? I’ve seen the tape. I looked more like a drunk person stumbling forward and trying to raise my leg to make the next step. Cameron lazily stepped to the side and knocked me clean out. That lethal kick that made her decide right then and there that she needed to cash in? I’m not saying it wasn’t smart. I’m just saying I thought if she really wanted to fight she would just tell me. She wasn’t trying to protect me over long months. Her group was dead. You can’t keep a group alive when it’s a solo act. Cam isn’t that different than me in this situation. She was in a group and one person decided to just up and leave before it got going. So she and her friend practically begged me to be a part of it. They tried to show their good faith by showing up at my match and helping me. They invited me to be around them. Then the other one was “injured” and she’s never coming back. So Cam was alone. And if it wasn’t for the test-tube grown clone that stands beside her, she’d be just as alone. Because while I’m this deep, dark person that has no friends or family or anyone around for me, you two are just as bad. You can only go around backstage being pretend nice to people for so long before they figure out what’s really behind the mask. You two are deeply vain people that actually don’t care about anyone but yourselves. And somewhere in that thick skull of yours is the idea that it makes you not only different than me, but better. And that’s just not true. I only know one way of deciding who is better, and that’s in the ring. I think I got caught up dealing with group drama, and then dealing with all of Cam and Kendra’s ideas that I lost sight of what I really wanted in front of me. I’m not letting that happen again.
 
You must have missed the end of Empire where I publically asked for a rematch? I know, keeping up appearances backstage is very, very difficult. With Cammy in the ring, you had to pull double duty. So I’ll let you know, both Aria and I asked for matches. I guess I technically even had the last word. And that was just publically. You don’t think when they brought me to at Grand Rampage and told me what happened I didn’t march into Cleopatra’s office right then and there and ask for a rematch. But this place is funny. They always want to know if you deserve a rematch. You’d know if you’d actually held a title for once. Or maybe it was different in Cameron’s hay day. But honestly, I think I do deserve a match. And I can bang down doors and stalk people through the hallways and I don’t know if it will make any difference. If they do give me a rematch, the title is coming back home. It’s as simple as that. And if I have to take it off Cameron or Aria, because let’s face it… Cam ain’t beating Aria if they fight… I’ll do it. And the next time I’m holding that belt it will be a completely different experience with Cailin Dillon at the top. And it will be a reminder of why you don’t want piss me off.
 
As the person who literally defined the Specialist’s Championship, I do wish you luck when you have you shot at that title. It’s sort of changed and evolved honestly. It used to be a much harder title to defend. Now they just drag it out on special occasions and such. But that title is what really elevated me and showed people one specific thing. I finish what I start. Think of the challengers and even how they grew toward the end of my time with that title. Look at the Empress tournament that I was so lovingly told by your sister I wouldn’t win and then that I’d just continue to be irrelevant. She couldn’t even meet me in the finals. Sad face. And then when I faced Sheridan Müller, I showed it again. Dead in the waters, I rose up from the depths and took her down to become champion. Maybe the last few months was just an identity crisis trying to be what Kendra and your sister wanted me to be. But not anymore. I’m done playing their game because it worked out the way they wanted. Now I do what I want to do. I do what got me here in the first place. And that means beating anyone they put in that ring with me and not shifting my focus elsewhere until I’m done with that. So that means my focus is on you, Consuela. Fuck Cam and whatever else she’s doing this week. I don’t really care what she has to say. Do I want a rematch? You absolutely bet, but it’s not on the plate this week. The only thing in front of me this week is beating you. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Honestly, I like a new challenge. And you’re all new and shiny and dare I say it… no you’re not as plastic as she is nevermind. But you’re still new and shiny, until I wear it off with this match.
 
You can vow to do this and vow to do that and make all sorts of promises in between, but the only thing that will happen on Empire is me taking you to task and showing you, for real, how a champion fights. Consider this to be your primer for fighting Ms. Every once in a while Sparks. Everyone is looking to make their mark. Even those at the top. If they weren’t, your sister wouldn’t have just cashed in to become the champion. Even as a living legend or whatever she wants to call herself, she was still looking to make a mark. So as a recently named former champion, you better believe I’m just ready to jump right back on the horse and ride full steam ahead. I’m not going to dwell on this like you’re thinking. This is just pure motivation to get right back where I belong. I’m actually glad to see this fire you have to give me a loss. It’s going to make it so much more satisfying to throw you on your back and see the powerless look in your eyes from the video boards inside the arena as I wrench back on your shoulder and keep pulling until you cry out and quit. It’s either that, or try your damndest to recover just in time for Pain for Pride. It’s nothing personal, it honestly isn’t. You aren’t Cam. You’re Consuela. But that doesn’t mean you won’t get the same kind of beat down normally reserved for her. I’m not holding back anything. Whether it’s you, Cam, Aria or freaking MJ Doom or Amelie Larrieux… I’m ripping everyone apart. It starts with you, my dear. You can think about making your mark after this week. For now, you’ll just have to settle with thinking about the loss I’m about to hand you. Cam can wait. All I’m thinking about is the skinner, less busty sister that’s standing in my way. And I wouldn’t want to the one standing in my way.

Dynasty promo #3
 




 
(The scene opens backstage at the United Center.  It here, just moments away from this week’s episode of Dynasty officially kicking off, that we find a crowd of reporters who have gathered inside the private dressing room of EAW’s undisputed Social Media Champion “Picture Perfect” Mark Michaels.  The press swarm Michaels as he starts to unpack his ring gear from his Coach leather duffle bag. )
 
Reporter 1: “Mister Michaels, What are your thoughts about your opponent’s new attitude?”
 
Michaels: “The same as they were about his old attitude.  I couldn’t care less whether SpruceGoose is acting like a stoic and serious competitor who only does this because he couldn’t cut it working as a gay prositiute, or if he’s this goofy doofus who acts like Drake Jagger is Elvis or some shit, because in either case the end result is gonna be the same.  I am gonna wrestle circles around him, and pin him one, two, three in the middle of the ring.”
 
Reporter 2: “how do you feel about the fact that Moongoose McQueen has stated that he wishes for you to succeed here in EAW?  Does that paint him in perhaps a more positive light to you?”
 
Michaels: “No it does not, because I see right thru his bullshit flattery for what it really is.  This is Mongoloid McRimjobs way of begging for mercy.  See he thinks that if he throws a few compliments my way, that I won’t absolutely torch his ass in the ring tonight.  He’s not the first one to have tried this same tactic, and just like all the others, all he’ll get for his hot air is my boot print right across his face!  So for the record, I don’t care if that underachieving choke artist has anything nice to say about me, because I couldn’t give two shits about his opinion.  I don’t care if he wants me to do well because I don’t need his best wishes to go out to that ring and dominate like only I can.  And I sure as hell don’t want him, or his face paint wearing, freakshow, main bitch to give me a hug.  We’re not friends, we never will be, after all why would I want to be friend with him?  I have millions upon millions of friends, followers, and subscribers from every corner of the globe who are waiting in line for me to possibly accept their request for me to allow them to look upon my life and see just how great and glamourous it truly is.  Every single one of them are waiting with baited breath to be found worthy of seeing what I eat, what I drink, where I sleep, who I’m wearing, and when is the next time they’ll be able to get a glimse of my perfection live in the flesh.  So Boondock McScumbag, and his ‘bestie’ can head right back to whatever hole they crawled out of, and finish up that game of hide the sausage.  Meanwhile I’ll be occupying myself by cultivating and captivating the hearts of each and every EAW fan here tonight.”
 
Reporter 3: “McQueen has been very vocal about you doing your best to rise up in the ranks and be a role model, what are your feelings towards those remarks?”
 
Michaels: “Well it makes me feel pretty pissed off for starters.  Firstly I am always at my best one hundred percent of the time.  Don’t believe me, look back to Grand Rampage when I knock the fuck out of both TLA, and the Pizza Boy.  Second, Pain For Pride is just a few short weeks away, and Burning desire is even closer, so right now I’m making it a mission to go out every night and make my best even better.  So far can’t say I’ve had much luck because nothing is better that Perfect!  Third, I am a role model to millions, meanwhile that loopy headed fuck McDickhead has to offer people money just to give him the time of day, hell you saw that kid who told him to piss off just the other day.  The kid didn’t care that Moonbeam was on a top rated weekly television show, he straight up denied his friend request right to his face.  Or even the poor women of Drake Jagger’s Harem, there they were mourning their loss at this horseshit wake that McCukoo  put together, and he couldn’t even get them to take the gift basket he was giving away.  What the hell does Junegloom know about being a role model? 
 
And before any of you ask anymore pointless questions let me just say this, He wants the real Mark Michaels?  Well here I am!  With me, what you see is exactly what you get.  I don’t need to use some sort of gimmick as a crutch like so many others do.  I don’t need to hide my face behind a mask to make myself more interesting and mysterious.  I don’t need to be some schizoid freak who just broke out of Bell View to beat whoever they stick in the ring with me.  And I certainly don’t have to act like an out of touch asshole or his butt buddy just to remain relevant after getting tossed on his ass at Grand Rampage!  I am better than that, and each and every single son of a bitch in the locker room knows it.  That’s why every one of them is a Michaels envy suffering hater who wishes they had one tenth of my talent.  They wish they had the combination of speed, strength, and technical acumen that I possess, and they all became bitter towards me because of it. 
 
Even our general manager is painted green because of how jealous he is of me.  So he sticks me with mongrel mother fuckers who aren’t worthy to lace my boots in an attempt to hold me down!  Sebastian Monroe knows that it’s me that fills the arenas, sells out the merch stand, and makes his little television show a ratings juggernaut, and how does he reward me?  He saddles me with guys who will never be more than preliminary match players.  I deserve main events and marquee match ups.  I am due title shots, I should be the guy who’s face is on the banners and billboards every time we head to a new town.  This is what I am due, and one way or another suits back in Jersey are going to hand it all to me on a goddamn silver platter! I don’t care who I have to go thru, as long as I get all that I am due. 
 
So Toonsluice McJagoff consider yourself in for a long night that’s gonna go by pretty fast.  I’m gonna beat you quicker than a hiccup, but I promise you’ll be feeling it for the next week.  I am done playing around here on Dynasty, I am fed up with guys who walk in off the street or suddenly show up after a six week vacation  getting handed opportunities that should rightfully go to me!  So to demonstrate just how royally pissed I am, I am gonna kick the ever loving shit out of Jackass McGee tonight.  I am gonna beat him harder than the Celtics beat the Bulls! 
 
Tonight, I am gonna squash that peon the suits are sticking in the ring with me, and I’ll do it again next week, and the week after that, and the week after that.  And I am not gonna stop until I stand on top of the mountain they call EAW.  Its only the rightful place for the twitter trendsetter, the Instagram icon, the hashtag hero to millions upon millions of followers the whole world over!  Followers who recognize my greatness both in the ring, and out of it.  Followers who see that I am the total package.  My skills are only matched by my charisma, my influence is unequivocal, my form is unmatched, and my gameplan is unblemished.  I am hands down the single greatest professional athlete to ever lace up a pair of boots.  I am the brightest burning star that this company has, the destiny of Dynasty, and the future face of this company.  I am perfection incarnate, and tonight I am gonna chew up McQueball and spit him out.  I going to show him the dictionary definition of  a star, an icon, of Perfection! But hey Moonloser look on the bright side, after this you can Netflix and chill… with your mom.  Tonight it’s my hand that’s getting raised, so you best start picturing THAT!
 
No more questions, I got a match to get ready for.”
 
(The reporters try to press in closer for a final word but are forced back by security.  Michaels pays them no mind as he begins to thread the laces of his boots.)
 

FADE TO BLACK.

 
They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery or something like that. But this, this is not even emulation. I know what you think you’re doing, Alexis. I get what you think you are capable of doing and that you can copy me. That you can beat me by being me. But here’s a breaking news flash to you: you will never be me. You will always be what you are. In a way, there’s nothing wrong with that. You’ve done what you have in your career here and now you have a big moment on tap. This is your chance to punch your name in the history books and always be remembered as a champion. But it’s not going to happen. This isn’t about a toy or some weird sisterly battle for supremacy. This isn’t a family affair. I’m going to maim you and rip you apart without any regard for your safety. Our past doesn’t really mean much at this point. I have my eyes set on taking my title to sights not yet seen before. That’s the great part about the first-ever Women’s Champion. Everything I do is setting a new precedent. This is me setting the new standard for women’s wrestling in this company and in the world. If what I saw from you was you not holding back, then I have a great deal of confidence in my ability to absolutely destroy you in our match at Grand Rampage.
 
There’s something you need to understand. When you say you deserve this or you rightfully earned this, I have to laugh. You lost the match to earn this opportunity. Then that woman broke her freaking neck. Now here you are, winning an absolute clusterfuck-fest and you think it puts you in the right place to take me on one on one. You lucked your way into that win, I saw it. And then last week you tried to send me some sort of “message” by kicking me in the face. That’s the worst mistake you ever made in your career here. I thought you were supposed to be some tough, bad ass leader of a group called the Coven. All the power you should have at your fingertips and the ability to do literally whatever you want. But the message you delivered was completely out of character fro you. It came across more as a scared little girl that doesn’t know how to react to the opportunity she’s been handed. And then it transitioned into some warped little sister thing where you’re just trying to keep up with me, the big sister. You just don’t have it, though. All the talk and none of the action. You’re trying to do what I do and steal what I’ve done, but nothing you can do will ever compare. We aren’t the same. Not even close. I’m a battle-tested warrior that fights to my last god damned breath. I’m a fighter that doesn’t care about the well-being of my opponents. I care about winning, and that’s it. There’s a reason I became the queen of Empire. It’s because I fought for it. It’s because I took it without any care in the damn world. Just look at my track record and try to tell me where you just suddenly slot in and change it all. This match isn’t about your destiny to finally reach a place you’ve wanted to reach all along. This match is about me showing you that you just don’t have it. You aren’t ready for this. But don’t worry, I’ll give you the same treatment I give every single person I fight. If you aren’t ready for this level of intensity, and you won’t be, you’ll only have yourself to blame.
 
I didn’t just trip overnight and land myself at the top of this mountain. I’ve climbed from the start. I had to do this the hard way. You won one match. Think about that. I’m so much more prepared for this moment than you ever will be. You have a motivation to stand beside me? Well, that’s cute. I’ll always be standing above you. I’ll always be walking day and night with this title on my shoulder and stomping on every night lily that blooms in my path. Is it personal? Hell yes it is. Because you think you’re good enough to walk in here and take this title from me. I’m here to remind you that you aren’t. I’m not going to be the type to stand over here and tell you that you have no talent. If anything, it’s impressive the way you managed to stick around after all of this time. I mean, you were terrible at one point. And then you came back around and made a little noise with that pussy posse behind you. That’s pretty valiant in a way that you never gave up. But you know who never gave up despite losing so much more? Me. I was supposed to be dead in the water after Grand Rampage last year. It might have been the most shocking moment in the show. And then the whispers continued for months after. What’s wrong with Cailin? I heard them, but they didn’t resonate. I was in the gym rebuilding the version of me that had opened eyes in this company with a strong run that defined a complete title. I was making that version of me even freaking better. And I’ve never stopped adding a little element here and there. I’ve never stopped evolving. And what you’re getting isn’t just little Cailin Dillon from Texas. You’re getting Slaylin the destroyer. Maybe you’ve opened some eyes with your performance lately, but they’re still only half open to what you are and what you could become. After this match, they’ll close again and you and the entire Coven can scurry off back to the Sanatorium and start making up the sack lunches for the boys while you wait for your next chance at bringing your brand of darkness into the spotlight. This is not your time, baby girl. My time is not up.
 
Greatness is not something achieved easily. You’re sitting there right now, nervously giddy with excitement and already making your plans. You’re already telling your friends and family exactly what you’re going to do as the women’s champion. You’re wasting your time. You should be planning your concession speech after I beat the hope right out of you in that ring. That is my ring after all. Maybe Grand Rampage was my lowest of lows last year, but it’s going to be one of the highlights of my year this time around. Don’t make promises to me that you can’t keep. You’ll soon learn how big of a mistake you’re making. You will soon learn just what it’s like to be in the ring with the best in this company. You think some of those “main event” level matches you’ve been in lately have put you in a new class? It means nothing when you can’t do it on the biggest stages of all. That’s where we clearly separate here. I’ve proven what I can do when it’s all on the line. You’ve got a long way to go and have a shit ton to prove in that regard. Unfortunately, you might never get the chance to prove it. For all the motivation you have to win this and stake your claim as being among the best, my motivations completely overshadow and outweigh yours. That’s why I will crush you this weekend. I will crush you under the pressure you’ve placed over your own head. I will break you with my kicks that have laid so many to rest. And if need be, I will tear you limb from limb with the move that’s made so many legends in this company give up. This isn’t a game to me and this title isn’t a toy. You can compare yourself to some delicate flower and you can spin your uncharacteristic messages and try to become someone you aren’t, but in the end, nothing will change for you. You’ll still be the girl trying to lead her band of misfits into real prominence and I will still be the champion that you couldn’t touch. You’re just gonna have to take your seat back at the very back of the line and hope the next time you come around with a big chance like this you don’t have to face me. That might be your only hope for the next time.
 
I understand your dreams and I know why you feel this need to win the title. I get it. You’ve wanted to be in this spotlight for a long time. But the light is crowded. It doesn’t just shine on me. It shines on a few others hanging around, too. If you want to be the best, you have to be able to beat the best. And you won’t be able to do that this weekend. It’s going to be a pleasure to show you what it means to fight at the top level, Alexis, but this experience only ends in tears and heartbreak for you. For me, it’s just another day as the Women’s Champion. This is what I do, my dear. This is how I was created. The only thing I know how to do is fight to win and I won’t stop until I’m dead. Are you gonna kill me? Pfft, not a chance. You can bring it with your best shot, but we both know how this match ends. At least you’ll be a footnote to history as one of the many successful title defenses by the very first Women’s Champion in EAW history. At least you can say you were there. That’s about all you’ll be able to say about this one.

So, the last time I addressed you all, I focused my verbal attacks mainly on Nasir Moore because that little shit has been a huge pain in my ass for the last couple of weeks. However, in that ‘rage’, I overlooked the fact some of the other competitors of the Grand Rampage match were kind enough to mention me in their rants or speeches or testimonials or whatever that they recorded specifically for that match. Now when a man likes to talk as much as I do, ignoring them would be absolutely criminal and so people of the other rosters, here I fucking come! Hope you are fucking ready for this!

So yeah, let me start off by talking about a man who has really interested me ever since the day I joined here, TLA. I mean, he is a guy who is chill as fuck no matter what the situation is unlike some here who blow off more steam then a fucking locomotive even when someone cracks a harmless little joke. So yeah, TLA, my name is Mike Showman and I am the leader of the new generation. But I think there is another nickname that you might be appropriate for someone like you and that is, a man who gives no shits. That’s right, I don’t give a shit about anything or anybody and that is what makes me so popular with the people……alright, that might be in a negative way but hey, popularity is popularity right? Anyways, I am sure we will get along pretty well in the match because after all, we have so many things in common! I mean, just like me, you want to win the Grand Rampage match. Just like me, you want to headline Pain for Pride and just like me, you got an asshole of a rival who just won’t fucking stay down even when their asses are literally on fire because of the beat down that we delivered. So yeah, no problem between us whatsoever and so you have nothing to worry about. Also, there is one last thing that I want to say and that is, even if I am “a massive ass snek just waitin’ to strike on yo boi” you don’t need to worry about that as well because even if I strike, I will make sure that the strike is as butt friendly as possible. You dig that? Even if you get your butt kicked by me more than once in that match, you still won’t have to worry about a sore butt because as I said, butt friendly. But yeah, after the match, maybe we can hang out a bit in your famed ‘poon palace’ and fuck some nice bitches? That would be amazing and who knows, maybe your poon palace will rise in popularity when someone ‘classy’ like me walks in through those doors? So yeah, poon palace, after the match. You savvy?

Alright, one down and may more to go so let’s not waste any time and move on to the next gentlemen in the queue, Mr Ryan Marx. Oh yeah baby, this is what I was waiting for, the chance to talk about Ryan Marx, the leader of new…..what? What the fuck is that? The leader of the new breed? Come the fuck on Ryan Marx, what the hell you smoking down there at Showdown? That nickname belongs to me and I alone can use it. Trust me pal, I am in in no mood to share shit with you, you get that? Sure, you might argue that you are the true “leader of the new breed” because got more titles and accomplished a lot more than me but titles and other shit don’t define a man, their skill and charisma does. Look at me, I am overloaded in skill, charisma, good looks and along with that, I have a ridiculously sexy voice. So yeah, I would appreciate it if you dropped that nickname because that only suits me, the true leader of the new generation. Also, I am pretty sure that once I spend the same amount of time in EAW as you have done, I will achieve more than you. But anyways, let’s talk about the match shall we? So according to you, the fact that we ignored you is turning you into a snake in the grass? Now, that would have been a badass line but the comparison with ‘snakes’ fucking ruined it. Like I said, not everyone can talk like me! So yeah, the thing is, snakes are technically deaf and they piss in their pants when they hear some loud vibrations. So you compared yourself against a creature who is a not only a handicap but also is easily scared by people thudding their boots against the ground loudly. Sure, sure you will now argue about the fact that snakes can deliver a deadly bite to their prey that can even kill them and do many other shit but the thing is, humans or most other animals are powerful enough to prevent that ‘bite’ from landing. How you say? It’s because of their minds. We humans, we are gifted with a great mind and if used properly, we can easily outsmart something that like ‘snakes’ because they are dumb as fuck. I can outsmart you Ryan Marx, just like I have outsmarted guys like Nasir Moore and Aren Mstislav. Because unlike the others, I can use my mind effectively. Those guys I just mentioned are the ones who are much more experienced than you are and so, I won’t face much difficulty in outsmarting you too. So yeah, you can be a snake, you can fight harder but always remember, there will be someone there will be out-thinking you each and every moment in that match.


Well, all the talk has increased my hunger quite a bit and so, how about some food? Some pizza maybe? Cooked by none other than the Chef maybe? Alright, alright that’s enough with the lame ass jokes. It’s time to get serious and talk about…The Pizza Boy? Sure, why not? I mean, I usually eat a pizza but sure, I can talk about a boy named after Pizza. So yeah, you think that I should have surpassed you a long time ago eh? Well you don’t have to worry about that because I am on the right road and I am speeding up steadily. I have already eased past two speed bumps named Aren Mstislav and Nasir Moore and so I believe that I am ready for the rest as well. But yeah, there is something else I need to talk about and that is, the amount of people who have predicted that you will be winner of the Grand Rampage match. I mean, it’s really amazing how much support you can generate from the locker room and also from the fans. That being said though, the fans are fucking stupid and their predictions are fucking garbage and so, their predictions probably won’t come true. But still, if I eliminate you from the Grand Rampage and put an end to your dreams and break the fans’ ‘heart’, that would be like a NOS boost to my already fast running car! Hell yeah, just imagine the headlines, “Mike Showman eliminates Pizza Boy from the Grand Rampage!” That will be amazing or as I like to say, that will be ‘classy’. So yeah Pizza Boy, let me lay out my plan for the match. I will enter the match, I will eliminate some assholes and then when you come in and then I am going to focus my enter energy on eliminating you from that match. Also, I will be eating some ‘pizza’ before the match so that I am overflowing on energy…….alright, the usage of ‘pizza’ is getting a bit stupid and lame but in any case, see you on Saturday, Boy!

Dynasty Promo #3


(The scene opens inside the Four Seasons hotel in St. Louis, Missouri. It's here inside the Hotel's most expedition suite, that we find EAW's Social Media Champion "Picture Perfect" Mark Michaels, sitting down by the kitchen counter, dressed not in his typical Designer dress shirt, blue jeans, of sued loafers, but in his workout gear which is drenched in sweat, drinking down the last few gulps from a large bottle of SmartWater. Michael takes a deep breath as the last few drops trickle down his threat.)

Michaels: "John?!"

(Michaels agent Johnny J, emerges from the living area)

Johnny: "Every thing okay here Mark?"


Michaels: "Toss me a towel."


(Johnny does as requested of him. Michaels begins to wick away the excess sweat from his forehead and face.)

Johnny: "Mark you sure you're okay? You've been really pushing yourself with all the extra sets you've been doing in the gym. I don't want you wearing yourself out before this Friday."


Michaels: "Don't worry about how hard I've been training John. Just know that when Grand Rampage rolls around, I'll be more than ready to go. I am upping my game, because I will be damned if I enter this year's Pain For Pride season as anything less than Perfect!"


Johnny: "That's all well and good Mark, but don't overlook this Friday night. You're facing off with a man who tried to end your career the last time you two were in the ring together, and who knows what he might try to pull on Dynasty?!"


Michaels: "Oh don't worry about that either John, I am more than prepared for anything that fuckface-Egan Wakefield might have up his sleeve. That limey little shit has just under twenty four hours before I publicly execute him before a world wide television audience. Wakefield is in for an absolute beating from bell to bell, one that he will never forget. I am gonna kick Finnegan's ass so hard, the next Wakefield wannabe Is gonna fucking feel it! Then maybe the next guy who thinks he's just gonna walk all over Mark Michaels, and try to put me on the shelf, might just think twice before I put my boot square up his ass too!

I swear on everything that is holy, I am going to tear Finnegan Wakefield to shreds out in that ring. I am not just going to embarrass him, I am going to leave my Mark on him. In ten years from now when he barely crawls out of bed, and he grabs his aching back, and feels his knees buckling under him as he stands up, he'll know that I'm the reason why. When he orders Chinese delivery for dinner, and can't tell the driver his address because the concussion I gave him is still lingering, he'll know that He should have never tried to screw with Mark Michaels. When he looks back on his career, and hears time after time about how he was once an up and coming prospect with huge upside potential, until he made the mistake of pissing off the greatest professional wrestler of all time, he'll know exactly how much he fucked up. He'll know exactly how far over the edge he fell off when I post a selfie of me standing over his mangled and broken body all over Social Media. And sadly by then, it will be far too late for him to do a goddamn thing about it.

That's what a horse's ass like him deserves. He deserves to have all his double talk exposed, because while he talks about how he was the man who was going to win that four way match, it was my Screen Cracker that put down Target Smiles. And for all the talk about how I wasn't in that match mentally, I was the one who was mere seconds away from winning that match. And for all he likes to talk about how he isn't a jealous little bitch, instead of crawling into the ring and picking up a New Breed Championship match, he decided to suplex me head first on to the concrete! Actions speak much louder than words Finnegan, and by the end of that match you knew I was on my way to claim my New Breed Title belt, and once I did, you knew that belt would never leave my waist. So because you couldn't beat me on that night, just like you sure as hell cant beat me tomorrow, you tried to put me on the shelf simply because your Michaels envy got the better of you. But like always, you just came up short and couldn't get the job done.



Finn bit off far more than he could ever hope to chew last week. He dared to try and test me last Friday, me. The man who has battled with the best that EAW has to offer. The man who went to war with Chris Elite, Heart Break Gal, Y2Impact, The HighRollerz, and Methuselah all in a single match. and now this week I'm going to toss this flunky r right out of EAW, just like in gonna be tossing the twenty nine overhyped, underdeveloped, jackasses right over the top at Grand Rampage. And with that limey shit out of this company, EAW will be all the better for it. We won't have to waste precious money and television time on a guy who's only resting on another talent's laurels. No more will promising young prospects like Kelly Hackenschmidt be held down by that lead noose. Finally Dynasty can shed the dead weight and claim its rightful place as the crown jewel of this company. And of course I shall be the center piece of this brand, and elevate it to a level of greatness the likes of which no brand has ever seen before.

So let Finnegan take his three person online poll, and shove it directly up his ass, because while I'm going to enjoy beating his ass black and blue, I'm gonna finish him off quickly so that I can devote my full attention to the Grand Rampage match. Where will cut thru mother fuckers like a hot knife thru butter on my way to receiving what has long been overdue to me, the main event of Pain For Pride. And on the grandest of stages, with the biggest spot light shining the brightest it ever will, at the biggest Pain For Pride in EAW history, I will take my place as the face of Elite Answers Wrestling, when I become the new World Heavyweight Champion!

So this Friday night, I'm gonna give all my followers just a taste of what's to come when I not only outclass, but obliterate Finnegan Wakefield from bell to bell. So everyone in the locker room better pay close attention, because anybody who tries to stand in the way of me getting all that I am due, they are gonna end up exactly like Finnegan Wakefield will on Dyansty. They will be battered, bruised, and broken at the hands of the Twitter Trendsetter, the Instagram Icon, the Hashtag Hero who will ride down the road to pain for pride as conquering prince who will become a king. The man who will stand head and shoulders above twenty nine knuckleheads who are gonna get first class flight on the end of my boot right over the top rope next Saturday. The man who will have Finnegan Wakefield on his hands and knees praying for mercy from the god of wrestling. The man whose unmatched talent has made him a pop culture phenomenon. The man who is the brightest burning star that this company will ever know, the man who is the future of EAW and the sport of professional wrestling! The man who is hands down the greatest professional athlete to ever lace up a pair of boots. The man who is going to prove without a shadow of a doubt, there there is No such thing as being better than Perfect, so Finn Wakefield and the rest of the fuckbois in the Grand Rampage match better start picturing THAT!


Now if you'll excuse me, I have a workout to get to."


(Michaels stands up off his seat, and strides with a powerful confidence out of the shot.)


FADE TO BLACK.

Dynasty Promo #3


@PicPerfectMichaels has posted a status update:

"Well my dear followers, here I stand moments away from stepping out before the world and begin to take possession of all that I am rightfully owed. Soon I'll be punching a ticket to the New Breed Championship, and there won't be a shadow of a doubt as to who is the Undisputed best to ever step into the ring. So all of my Blindfolded haters out there, feel free to pull your heads out of the sand or out of your assess, and pay your respects to the hardest working man in all of professional wrestling. The man who has put in more hours in the gym, more time in film study, and more time in promoting the EAW and Dynasty brands across every corner of the globe. The time has come for people to recognize the changing of the guard, To recognize the New face of not only this company, but of this sport as a whole. Now is the time for the Mark Michaels to be shone in the limelight that he was born to. To become the icon, the legend of this industry that no one will ever be able to measure up to!


That's right no one. Especially the three piss ons who are stupid enough to think for a single moment that they could ever stand a chance against me. The guys of who should really know better, because everybody with half a brain knows that there is no such thing as being better than perfect. Well I guess that's telling enough, I mean just listen to the bullcrap that pours out of their mouths.

Like for instance Finnegan Wakefield, the old English chap who for all care can go ahead and pip pip, cheerio, eat a spotted dick and then go fuck himself with it. And honestly that's the best that a C plus player like yourself could ever hope for in this sport. Tonight is the biggest opportunity of your career, not because of the title shot that hangs in the balance, but because you get to share the ring with yours truly. For a week you've experienced the most relevance you will ever know. Finny boy, enjoy it while it last because after tonight, it's back to clinging on to Kelly and Laura and living vicariously thru them. After tonight you get sent back to that mediocrity cesspool you crawled out from curiosity of the man whose followers the whole world round have made him their social media champion.

Take for instance Chris Paradise. He, just like so many others before him, claims that my words are empty. That somehow all that I have said in the past week is meaningless. And just like each and every one of those asshole before him, I'm gonna drive my knees right into his face with a screen cracker and get the one, two, three! You want to talk about how I'm supposedly some dumb, oafish caveman, well I bam bamed your mom last night, so how do you like that generic insult you psychward living, shit eating, son of a bitch! In just a few minutes I'll be happy to put you, and Morty, and all the other seven dwarfs who live in that screwed up head of yours, out of your goddamn misery tonight. In fact I'm just chomping at the bit for the chance to do so.

And speaking of screwballs who I can't wait to send back to whatever hole they crawled out of, how could we forget Target Smiles. Well we could but since he's about to step into the ring me we might as well mention him as well. Listen Smiles, I'm gonna make this really simple so you could understand, you don't belong here. You are an insult to this sport and I will not stand for it. You think I'm somehow afraid of you? Nothing could be further from the truth. The truth is that I despise men like you because all of you freaks in face paint or mask are all blight upon this sport. And I will not allow a single goddamn one of you to make a mockery of any longer. I am tired of jackasses who think that just because they wrap some fabric around their face, they they can cut it in this industry. I am tired of the low level jackasses who have zero personality or charisma, slapping something on their head, and proceed to make jackasses out of themselves and there by proceed to shit on the show that gave them time which could have been devoted to someone much more deserving, like me! Target, if nothing else, I am going out there to end this fascination everyone has with new guys who roll in off the street looking like something out of a comic book geek's wet dream, getting huge opportunities off the bat, blowing them, and only then realizing that they don't have the skill or the stones needed to be a champion. That ugly trend ends tonight


And it's all thanks to the twitter Trendsetter, the Instagram icon, the hashtag hero to millions around the world. The man whose combination of speed strength and skill are unmatched by any other. The man who is hands down the greatest professional athlete to ever grace the sport with his presence. The man who is headed to Grand Rampage as the New Breed Champion, and whether any one likes it or not, you better start picturing that!

Now if you'll excuse me I have a number one contender's match to win!"


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(Cloudy Thoughts)

“What are you going to do?”

“Huh?”

“If you win, what are you going to do?”

“‘When’ not ‘if.'”

“Hmph, aren’t we confident.”

“I have no choice; I have to be.”

“So, ‘when’ it’s you and me in the ring: what will you do?”

“Beat you, plain and straightforward.”

“Last time you said-”

“This is not last time. I have nothing left to lose.”

“You got me.”

“I still haven’t got you back. The aftermath of Grand Rampage will determine that.”

“You think you’ll take my title away from me?”

“I did it before; I’ll do it again.”



(The scene opens up to Stephanie sitting in the office of her gym, wearing glasses and a Brooklyn College sweater. She has a stack of papers and a cup of coffee next to her.)

Hmm, where should I begin? Where should I even start? I  gave you five a chance to state your cases, an opportunity to show the EAW universe why you’re all best suited to face Cailin Dillon at the Grand Rampage. All I see now is the same cluster-F that I saw before last year’s event, which resulted in me in winning not only the Specialist Championship but the first ever all-female rampage. You see, words can be regarded as a reflection of one’s ability; How one defends their talent can be a clue to as how quickly one thinks on their feet. Can anyone of you dodge my blows as quickly as you respond to my words? Per the trash you five are forcing me to listen to, I think not. Some of you seem to think the idea of taking blows somehow makes you better in the ring. A better training dummy perhaps, but not a talented grappler. Like, take for an example Alexis’ claim of absorbing and dishing out pain. To me, it sounds like you seem to relish the hurt you put your body through. (laughs) Bish, why!? The whole point of being good at what you do is to avoid pain while giving your opponent hell. Do you think I liked getting kicked in the face by my ex!? Hell, nah! The next time she pulled that shit, she ended up on the ramp trapped in a Blasian Sunrise. You remember right? I think you had Tarah trapped in your torture device of choice. When I was in The Coven, we were a group of talented little vixens, outsmarting everyone who came across our path. That’s what won Brody the Specialist Championship. That’s what got me a match at Malicious Intentions. (taps head) Using our brain is what made us the biggest threat to Empire. But, as I saw where things were going, the Coven turned into a couple of goth brats, whining about how ‘nobody understands our pain, and how we’ll spread darkness and terror across the land.' (shakes her head) You know what Mao did before my match at MI? She slapped the shit out of me and told me to grow the hell up. She told me I didn’t need pain and anger to guide my way to victory, but keen strategy and wolf-like instinct! I needed to be a savage stalker, patiently lying in wait for the perfect time to pick my opponents apart. She reminded me of my heritage; My relatives Yasuhiro, Matty, and Koujiro Matsuda. She told me that wrestling was in my blood, that the evolution of Western catch-as-can to Eastern puroresu was forged deep within my soul! 

(Sighs and takes a sip of coffee)

So, you’re playing with dollies now, Alexis? What are you five!? That explains a lot. The shy little girl who stood in the background while her four sisters wrecked shit while clutching her teddy bear. You jumped me once and all of the sudden you’re Mary Magdalene Superstar!? I think you missed your calling as a comedian because you’re killing me right now, and it’s not from your world renown wrestling skills! Talking about burning us to the ground- only thing that’s burning is that yeast infection you got from all that stress you’re feeling! Wikipedia that, you’ll thank me later (winks). There’s no need to give yourself more pain to escape from. (shakes head) ‘escape from pain’ no wonder you could barely win a match back in 2015! Hell, it took the whole Sanatorium to take out Tarah in the Empress Cup, while it only took ONE Cloud to take her out of commission. That’s another thing Mao pointed out: All of you equals me. And by all, I mean (wide eyes) THE ENTIRE FREAKING SANATORIUM! The whole stable equals to me on my BEST night. Want proof? It took four Coven witches to take me down, by surprise I should add! You're too weak to take me on yourself, sweets. Maddie? Been there, done that. Jocelyn? I taught her everything she knows! Brody? “Oh! I beat Tarah and Azumi, look at me! I did everything Cloud did back in 2016!” If that pain kept you alive ‘Lexi, then prepare yourself Old Yeller, cause I’m putting your ass down for good. Click. Click. Boom.

(Gun gesture)

Now, while I reload, who shall I target next? Maybe Megan Same. (laughs). If you didn’t get that (whispers) I just called you a basic bitch! You mad Raine-maker? You looked pissed while spewing that venom! The only thing you’re gonna make ‘Raine’ is are tears from your eyes as I walk away victorious.

(thinks for a moment)

Rainedrop, contract on top
Smokin' over Megan atop the ring box
Screwin' Keelan’s bitch like she a thot, thot 
Cookin' up wins like dope in the crockpot
I came from nothin' to somethin' ninja
Lexi thought she pulled the trigger did ya?
Call up the Coven, so they come and get you
Cry yo ass a river, here lemme give you a tissue
My skills are bad and boujee
Taking basic bitches to Cloud City
My art is savage, ruthless
Kick, punch, leave all you hoes toothless
I’m bad and boujee, call me Stephanie
Take Azumi by the head, call her Headphanie
None of you ex-vixens ready, ya’ll can’t see me
Slaying these lyrics, Cloudy is the new Maddie

Click. Click. Boom.

(Gun gesture)

Familiar Voice: (off camera) Zip. Zap.

Speaking of Azumes, she’s throwing enough salt to fill a lake in Utah. What I do admire is that you’re baring your fangs, and showing me why I’ll be thinking of you as dangerous for the first five seconds of this match. If we were back in JET, you would be in the main event every night of the week. Welcome to the big league's sweets, and right now I’m setting the bar! Go ahead, jump a bit, see if you can grab it and lift that cute chin over the precedent I’ve just created. Wait, you can't? Well too bad- land on your feet, maybe next week you got something new to show me. I’ve got an idea- use that contract the week after GR and - Nah actually scratch that. Don’t take my advice; it’ll only cause you further embarrassment. Just hold on to that MacGuffin a little while longer. I’m going to be the champion for a while. Maybe you can seduce it from Haruna after she finds a way to steal it from- nah, that won’t happen either. Welp looks like you assed out!

Click (sigh). Click (sigh). Boom (sigh).

Familiar Voice: (off camera)  Womp. Womp.

That was depressing. Maybe I went too hard- I’m sorry. By the way, that was an apology to ‘Zumi NOT to that fake ass Helena Bonham Carter over there! Yeah, I’m turning the gun back to you ‘Lexi! You did say you can take whatever I can give right!? You did say you’ll get up each time I tear you down right!? 

(stands up, and slams her fits onto the table)

YOU THINK YOU CAN SCARE ME WITH STORIES OF HOW MUCH YOU GOT YOUR ASS KICKED!? THAT ONLY REASSURES ME THAT THIS MATCH IS GOING TO BE EASIER THAN I THOUGHT! CONGRATULATIONS! YOU PLAYED YOURSELF!

(composes herself and sits down)

Again.

By the way, you only took everything from me because I ALLOWED it. I allowed it because I was vulnerable. In fact, the architect of that vulnerability will be joining us tomorrow night! That’s right, the Elite City Siren herself! What empty promise are you going to deliver this time? The shit you’ve been bragging about haven’t been relevant since last year! ‘Your division’ disappeared the night Cailin defeated Sheridan for the title and retired the Vixens Championship forever. There’s nothing for you here Tarah! You said it yourself- “Nobody Likes You!” Shoot that writes itself! I feel like I’m wasting my time responding to you, because every time you speak, you dig your own grave! You can’t even beat people in your specialty matches! How the hell can I take you seriously Tarah!? I really, reeeeaally want to consider you a threat, but for the life of me, I can’t think of anything that should leave me SHOOK. The nostalgia people remeber of the good ‘ol days? Yeah, you was awesome back then, and I want to see that side of you tomorrow night. But, some of yo Jersey boi’s bad luck seemed to rub off on you. Even Fiora’s better than him. Aren eclipsed him, just like how the man with that namesake did as such. So I’d suggest you take him out of this convo, because I don’t need to bring up his wack ass talent to dissect your argument to the world to show why Tarah Novacan’t anymore. Leader? (sips coffee) Your sorry ass couldn’t lead a horse to water the way you are now. You destroyed my relationships, so I buried your career in turn.

Click. Click. Freaking Boom.

An eye for an eye bitch. Don’t let me cash you outside. 

(sips)

Wait, there was a point to this video. Gosh darn it, you herbs made me lose track of what I was going to say! (shuffles papers around) Ah! Here it is! You see, I was looking back at one of my college papers on the violent mind and how it relates to pro wrestling. Long story short, pro wrestling is a competitive sport. A violent mind has only one objective: “to hurt for the sake.” Now that’s cool and everything if we were one of those wack ass extreme promotions back in the day *cough*RUW*cough* but, we’re not. We are Elite Answers Wrestling, What keeps us, Elitists - we are Elitists now, right? What separates us from the rest of the industry is our ability to adapt, and the end goal of winning matches. Or at least, some of us succeed while the rest fail miserably. Our current champ is a perfect example of someone who can adapt to their environment. This is not so much to kiss her ass, but rather state a point. When she fights, she does it to win. Playing with sharp toys is cute and everything, but keep in mind this is an ULTIMATE X match. Stupid name, but a tolerable concept. The art of savagery, when used with a keen mind, can allow one to cut through any adversary while accomplishing their goal. While the five of you will be thinking of ways to hurt me, I’ll be formulating a plan to climb those ropes and obtain the keys to the empire. Once that happens, there’s nothing any of you can do. I’m trying to teach you something, so I can have some competition tomorrow night. What’s the point of being savage when there’s no competition? In the Sanatorium, I wanted to hurt because I was in pain. Yes, I was a fux-gurl for a while, acting like someone stole my vintage Jordans. (shrugs) It happens. Sometimes this business tears you down. Relationships get complicated, and before you know it you’re washing dishes for twenty-seven hungry mouths because your ex preferred a has been over you.

(Looks past the camera)

Don’t give me that look! Anyways, I don’t know. All I can tell you is that I’m in a better place than I was before. In fact, I think I’m at my best. I owe that to my manager. Can’t wait for you to come back sweets. I’ll be waiting. Meanwhile, It’s time to get ‘Laurafied!’What The hell does that mean anyway!? I mean, if it does mean what I think it does…

(leans forward)

Call me- Hey! I was just playing! You’re going to walk out the room now!? (gets up and walks off camera) That’s right! You better get in that ring! Your ass got two weeks to prepare! Hold up; I’m going to join you-

(camera goes black)