I wouldn't even try to fight someone, I'd listen to them because that's going to make my time in there easier and I'd be fine.

Eat a lot of ass

I'd workout most of the time and think about life in-depth

Rule # 1: Respect

Soon as you hit that cold hard sheltered prison with three meals a day and plenty of social interaction, first thing you gotta know is you aint a playa anymore. You aint the one getting bitches anymore, you ARE the bitch. You the new kid on the block, so the first thing you need to have is RESPECT. Respect gets you so far in life and especially jail. Keep ya mouth shut, keep ya opinions to yourself and be as thankful and apologetic as possible.

Rule # 2: Suck n Fuck

You aint big pimpin, you aint got the hoes anymore, you ARE the hoe. Once you step foot into prison you gay. You mad gay. Homie says suck his dick? Suck that shit nice and good. Homie says he want some? Twerk on his dick. You gotta have the OG callin you "baby" and smacking you on the ass on sight. Suck dick and LIKE IT, because you're gonna have a lot of brown meat up in you in every crevice by the time you get out.

Rule # 3: Get Your Weight Up

Must needed. Its one thing to be the little bitch but to STAY a little bitch.?.. nah. You gotta get ya physique up, work those obliques, those arms, those glutes, those abs, shoulders, bench press, everything. You gotta look threatening so these new nikkas dont come in this bitch thinking they run shit and can boss u around. U'll never get respect if you come into jail flabby n sick or skinny as shit and don't get ya bulk up. That's not how u get into the winners circle playa.

Rule # 4: Join a Gang

Scout the armies, join the winning team. If the boys in blue run the asylum, you better become a crip! And if its blood in and blood out, consider yourself crimson. Once you join a gang you get a position of leverage, authority and PROTECTION! Join the strongest crew, and Young Thug it up. Its 2014, people respect gay thugs.

I know what some of you are thinking "oh im nobodys bitch". Thats cool, but when a 6'8 Terry Crews lookin muthafucka approaches you you aint gonna have that internet thug attitude. Follow these steps and you'll survive in jail and eat abundantly. Shit, you might commit another crime just to get back in!

Work out, get solitary confinement so I don't have to be around those asshats

Aren Mstislav wrote:

Work out, get solitary confinement so I don't have to be around those asshats

Solitary confinement: where the guards treat you worse than the inmates. 

Eat, sleep, wash, repeat. Just stay out of people's way and you'll be fine. No harm making friends, just stay out of the wrong crowd. Of course, there's no such thing as a good crowd in prison but make sure to avoid the guys DDD is talking about otherwise your asshole will look like it's been at one of Adam Rose's parties.

Midas Touch Matt wrote:

Aren Mstislav wrote:

Work out, get solitary confinement so I don't have to be around those asshats

Solitary confinement: where the guards treat you worse than the inmates. 

Eat, sleep, wash, repeat. Just stay out of people's way and you'll be fine. No harm making friends, just stay out of the wrong crowd. Of course, there's no such thing as a good crowd in prison but make sure to avoid the guys DDD is talking about otherwise your asshole will look like it's been at one of Adam Rose's parties.