I would like to take this moment to thank not only myself, but all of my girls who put their bodies on the line to make this happen. We banded together and, thanks to my leadership, prevailed against the mulleted menace. There's a lot of people to thank for this moment:

My brother from another mother of another race, Tiberius Jones.

The first and only seven-time World Champion in all of EAW, Y2Impact.

The Queen of Tag Teams, the beautiful Heart Break Gal.

All of my fallen comrades from The Burned Man to Luzmala to Eris LeCava.

But most of all, I'd like to thank myself, once again, for being the best Drake Jaeger that I could possibly be. For refusing to put pants on whenever I was asked in public why I was wearing only tights. For deciding from mere childhood that being a good person sucks when you can just take the shit you want with enough effort. For having a rocking body that, much like myself, does-not-quit. For being a winner, thank you, Drake Jaeger, you beautiful bastard.