I thought I would get this off my chest.  Thank you for letting me be a part of EAW.  I love e-fedding and haven't been able to do it for a while.

One thing I want to say is this has been a tough year for me.  Last year I lost my mom to cancer and it was one of the hardest things to have to go through.  I also suffer from Anxiety and OCD.  And have been having trouble the past couple of days.  I don't tell many people this, but I feel like you guys would understand.  Every now and then I have suicidal thoughts, not that I would do anything, but a few days ago I thought I would and I didn't because I know I have a lot to live for.

And I know that you guys are just kidding with me, but hearing what you say again and again, I kind of take it personal, I know I shouldn't, and I know you guys are just kidding with me, but I would like not to be seen as a joke, as my life isn't so great.

I live in a small town and have a job working at a video store.  The only problem is I feel like I have no friends.  Everyone at work is kind of in a social group that I don't feel included in, yes I'm the new guy and I have only been there three months but come on.  All the people my age are either married or have kids.  I wrote a post on facebook about a week ago at how I was unhappy because I feel like I'm everybody's last choice.  Maybe this is all in my head.  I had two people respond, and I am grateful that they did.  But I have some 800 friends on facebook and it made me feel really bad like no one cared.

To be honest writing is not my strong suit, but I try every time I am given a chance, and with all the things going on in my life right now, I would like to see some bright spots.  I'm not trying to be a dick, but could you guys lay off with the Hello Hello Hello stuff and the other stuff as it is making me feel like a joke, and it's really bringing down my confidence as to whether I am a good e-fedder or not.  I always try my hardest, and to be honest I would like to get to know you guys as I don't have many friends in the real world.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.  I appreciate it.

-Terry Koss aka Shaker Jones.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I hope you'll feel better as the time being because you Will find a lot of people that really care about you. You're not alone. Not Wanting to hijack your thread, but yes, I had a horrible experience a couple of weeks ago but there's a lot of people who keep supporting me, both here and in real life. Feel free to PM me or anyone else if you ever want to talk.

And in all honesty, you are getting better with each promos. Keep up the good work.

EDIT: And I'm sorry to hear that your Mom has passed away. Stay strong.

So this was...an unexpected read. I guess it just goes to show that, unless someone on here elaborates, you never truly know what everyone is going through outside of EAW. First off, I wanna offer my condolences for your mom's death. I can't imagine what dealing with that must have been like. Coupling that with your work situation, it's more than a lot of people would be able to deal with. But you're still hanging in there and taking on the challenges that each day brings, and I hope you know how strong that makes you. Losing a loved one (also to cancer, weirdly enough) played a big part in why I wanted to really commit to fedding again and why I came to EAW, because I really wanted/needed a distraction. It definitely can be a much-needed bright spot and I hope that going forward, we can all try to be the distraction that you need. Stay up, Shaker. 

*hug*

Thank you guys so much 

I want to commend you, Shaker. You've been here for a while now and through all the losses and jokes, you've stuck with it. You've tried what you can to change up your character and you've improved some on your writing. Just keep at it man.

A lot of people joke here a lot and even though it may hurt personally, sometimes you just have to look past it. It's just a part of being in a community. You're going through a tough time so maybe stay off chat for a bit and focus on what's going on or whatever helps.

I am so sorry to hear about your mom and what you're going through. You have people here and you're not alone. Hang in there and let your mind escape when you're writing. Depending on my mood or what I'm going through, it may reflect in my promos somehow or even in my match writing if I can make a joke about it to make things easier. Writing is a great way to help escape reality.

Keep your head up and keep doing what you're doing here.