Hey guys I'd like some feedback on my newest promo:

Voltage promo: Punk Rock Country Boy


Our scene begins on a farm.


Shaker: Well hello EAW universe, I am back here once again on my cousin ray miller's farm.  Hey ray what's up


Ray: Hey what's up cuz?



Shaker: I have been on a losing streak.  And i figure you know what, what I'm doing isn't working.  So I figure I'll go back to basics.  Back to where it all started.  You see out here in the country you can clear your mind letting the wind blow by you.  The fresh air does you good.  As you can see I am helping ray feed the cattle, he has about 100 head, so It is one heck of a job to keep them all fed.  Sometimes change is needed.


Shaker puts down his pitchfork.


Shaker: Take a walk with me.


Shaker: This is where it all began as a kid, when I first got into wrestling watching it with my dad and cousins and I was hooked, I don't know what it was.  As you can see over there that is the first wrestling ring I wrestled in sure it doesn't look like much now but back in the day it felt like we were in the big leagues.


Shaker: As I said before the country gives you time to think and re evaluate.  This time has allowed me to refocus my energy my mind and many important things.


Shaker: And as I said before sometimes change is necessary let me show you what i mean.


Shaker goes the clothesline.


Shaker: As you can see here is my ring jacket with all the patches and the hardcore hero and pain city written on the back.  Being the hardcore hero is a big part of who I am and that will never change, but sometimes you gotta do something different.


Shaker points to a jacket on the clothesline covered in a black bag.


Shaker: Now the hardcore hero isn't going away we're just going to say see you later.


Shaker takes the jacket off the clothesline and takes the bag off of it.


Shaker: As you can see there are many different sides to my personality the hardcore hero being one of them.


Shaker turns the jacket around and on the back it reads Punk Rock Country Boy.


Shaker: Now I know what you're thinking punk rock and country those things are the antithesis of each other.  Punk rock being about rebelling and country being more laid back and home grown.  This has been part of my personality as long as I can remember.  It was actually my first name in the wrestling business.


Shaker puts on the new jacket.


Shaker: I love punk rock every since I bought bought my first green day record years ago.  Punk rock showed my that you can be anything you want to be as long as you have the drive to do it.  Things like DIY Do It Yourself speaks to a point where if nothing is happening for you you have to do it yourself.  As it is written on the sleeve of my jacket.  Another principle punk rock taught me was PMA Positive Mental Attitude If you have that no one can ever bring you down you believe the best in yourself and good things will happen.  The many patches on my jacket represent the bands that I admired Rancid, The Clash, Dropkick Murphys, Teenage Head and so on.  The country boy aspect comes from where I grew up.  I grew up on a farm outside of a town less than 200 people.  You had all this room to do whatever you wanted.  It gave you the opportunity to let your imagination run wild.  It also taught me the value of a hard day's work.  Working hard to achieve something, not to have things handed to you.  So from this day forth the hardcore hero takes a break and the Punk Rock Country Boy takes the stage.


Shaker: Now to my opponent this week Carlos Rosso.  You got jokes I see, very very funny, so funny I ain't even laughing.


Shaker gets serious.


Shaker: You have the wrong idea about me man, and inbred chicken farmer, no no no that can no farther from the truth.  I ain't some hick who's simple and don't no nothing.  No I am a strong willed smart individual.  And you think like everybody else that I am going to be a pushover, uh uh.  Rosso you have never been in the ring with a man like me.  On Voltage you will step in the ring with a more focused, more driven, and more hungry Shaker Jones than you have ever seen before.  I will beat you into the ground.  I will ram your head through the mat like a railroad spike.  The Elimination Chamber is going to be nothing compared to what I am going to do to you.  I will make my mark and it will be at your expense.  I am going to climb the rungs of the EAW ladder and you will be the first step.  I am going to win some championship gold sooner rather than later.  And if I have to walk over you to get it then so be it.  Rosso you're all talk.  You're all flash and no substance.  Sure you can talk the talk but can you walk the walk?


The screen goes black and then #PunkRockCountryBoy is seen.

I think you got a lot you could work with here. Definitely keep expanding on yo character tho. You did a lot of telling us how ur punk rock and country which is ok for a debut promo but eventually u also gotta show us. Dig deep into them cultures and really make that who u are on the promo page there's a lot of conflicts and interesting shit I think you could work with. Could be a cool gimmick if u keep it up dawg.

Also someone said u promod after the deadline I would definitely work on not doing that. Promos close on the day the show is posted EST time. So for Voltage it is planned to be posted on Sundays, you can't promo once it's Sunday in EST time. I don't know where you live so if you need help figuring that out I would definitely ask someone.

OK my bad I thought you could promo the day of.  Thanks for the heads up.  Would it be good to use this promo again and tweak it slightly for next week?

You could but you should prolly write a new one to get that practice in and show ur writer u aint a lazy hombre.