Previously on “The Adventures of Hawk and Cage”:
( Hurricane Hawk and Diamond Cage are shown talking on the phone and finding each other in Dublin, Ireland. They are shown calling Cameron Ella Ava on the phone before stepping into a bar to find Stephen Fox. It is shown Hurricane Hawk curb stomping Stephen on a liquor bottle and superkicking all of Stephen’s midgets. Cage is showing beating up Stephen. They are shown escaping the scene before cops come )
Episode 2 Begins
( The camera fades into Hurricane Hawk and Diamond Cage sitting in the locker room before an EAW House Show as they are shown handshaking and smirking )
Diamond Cage: We fucked that shitty bastard up..
Hurricane Hawk: DID YOU SEE THAT CURB STOMP?.. I fucked him UP!!!
Diamond Cage: Yeah.. just like I fucked up your baby momm-
( Hawk’s cellphone starts to ring as he looks at it to see the name “Robbie V” pop up as he has an expression of confusion over his face as he answers it and puts it on speaker phone )
Robbie V(Over the speakerphone): Good Day Gentlemen…
Hawk and Cage: What’s up Robbie!!
Robbie V: So I’ve heard you two have went on a personal crusade to take out Dark Demon..
Diamond Cage: Of course.. And we ENDED that STUPID MUTHAFUCKA..
Hurricane Hawk: Put that fucking glass right through his eyes and let him bleed the fuck out.
Robbie V: Well I’ll be sad to inform you that THE MOTHERFUCKER IS STILL BREATHING…
( Hurricane Hawk looks at the phone and scratches his head as Diamond Cage takes it from him )
Diamond Cage: WHAT???... THAT CAN’T BE FUCKING POSSIBLE.. THAT BITCH BLED OUT..
Robbie V: Well he’s FUCKING ALIVE.. So if you guys want to DO IT RIGHT THIS TIME.. HURRY.. YOU HAVE 3 HOURS TO END IT OR I’M GOING TO END BOTH OF YOUR CAREERS.. BECAUSE DARK DEMON BEING ALIVE.. IS NOT GOOD FOR BUSINESS..
( Robbie V swiftly hangs up as Hurricane Hawk is still shown scratching his head and Diamond Cage slaps him in the face )
Diamond Cage: I THOUGHT YOU SAID HE WAS DEAD YOU STUPID MUTHAFUCKA..
Hurricane Hawk(Rubbing his face): OUCH!! MAN THAT FUCKING HURT… IT’S YOUR FUCKING FAULT WITH THEM WEAK ASS PUNCHES YOU THREW…
Diamond Cage: OH.. OH.. I’M WEAK.. I’m WEAK WHEN YOU’RE THE ONE WHO CURB STOMPED HIM.. THAT’S PROBABLY WHY CAMERON LEFT YOU BECAUSE YOUR DICK GAME WAS WEAK TOO!!
Hurricane Hawk(Getting in his feelings): C’mon Cage.. we’re supposed to be partners here.. Let’s just stay on task and get this dumbass Irish pleb.
( Hurricane Hawk’s cellphone starts to ring again but this time it is shown as “Unknown” as Hawk clicks on it and answers as it goes straight to speaker phone )
???: I know where he is..
Hawk: What the fuck who the fuck is this..
???: Forget that.. I know where Dark Demon is.. And if you want him.. Meet me at the interview area ASAP!
Diamond Cage: HEY ARIA.. STOP FUCKING PLAYING AROUND THIS IS SERIOUS.. AND WHY ARE YOU EVEN CALLING HAWK’S PHONE ANYWAY..
( Hurricane Hawk is shown blushing as Cage looks to throw a hard right hand punch before Hawk jumps out of the way )
???: I’m not Aria Cage.. always have been a dimwit..
Cage: HEY FUCK YOU..
???: JUST HURRY THE FUCK UP AND MEET ME BEFORE I LEAVE.. YOU GOT 2 MINUTES..
( The “Unknown” caller hangs up before the camera fades out into Hurricane Hawk and Diamond Cage walking to the interview area as a person is blurred out but is seen standing with a smirk )
Colin Kaline: Ah.. Hawk.. Cage… just the two men I wanted to see..
Diamond Cage: Why the fuck are you here.. C’mon Hawk this fucker doesn’t know where Dark Demon is..
Hurricane Hawk: Wait wait wait.. Colin.. We only got 30 minutes left before Robbie calls us again and fires us.. Where is he..
( Dark Demon is shown behind Hawk and Cage as he looks extremely fat and drunk as he throws up all over Hawk and Cage turns around and steps out of the way )
Hawk: WHAT THE FUCK..
Dark Demon: heh… hey.. Hawk.. tell Cam.. I said … HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII..
Hawk: GROSS.. CAGE YOU COULDN’T TAKE ONE FOR ME YOU HAVE MORE CLOTHES ON??..
Diamond Cage: HEY.. I DON’T DO VOMIT ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS?
Dark Demon: You guys tried to kill me.. So I brought my franssss tooo..
( Dark Demon is shown with Conor McGregor, Hornswoggle, Moonlight Predator, Chris Hessian, and Colin Kaline steps over to his side )
Hurricane Hawk: Really Kaline?.. I TOOK OVER FOR YOU…
Colin Kaline: TOOK OVER AND LOST MY FUCKING CHAMPIONSHIP YOU EGOTISTICAL MORON. SO NOW I’M GOING TO FUCK YOU OVER...
Hurricane Hawk: :heh: …
Diamond Cage(Yawning): I have to fight these fucking jobbers?...
( Diamond Cage smirks as he looks behind the curtain and pulls out two barbwire 2x4s )
Diamond Cage: Always have these set for emergency brothaa..
( Diamond Cage hands one to Hawk )
Hurricane Hawk: As my father would say……….. IT’S CLOBBBBBBBERINNNNNN TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
( Diamond Cage swings for the fences and whacks everything out of Moonlight Predator and then Chris Hessian as Hawk swings for Dark Demon and Conor McGregor knocking McGregor’s teeth out and hits Demon right in the gut as Dark Demon vomits on Hawk again )
Hurricane Hawk: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS…
Diamond Cage: You shoulda aimed for his face dickhead!
( Hawk swings again and hits Demon over his face as his blood starts to pour and he goes down to the ground as Colin Kaline grips Hawk from behind and Hornswoggle kicks Hawk right in his nuts as Diamond Cage pulls out his phone and records it laughing )
Diamond Cage(Laughing): This shit’s going on Instagram ..
Hawk: HELP ME YOU FUCKING DOUCHEBAG…
( Cage continues to record it before putting it up on Instagram with the caption “Are you sure you don’t need a real man Cam?” with the “Hmm” emojis and tagging her as he posts it and then hits Hornswoggle with a brutal elbow shot knocking him out and then Colin Kaline pulls out a blade )
Colin Kaline: Step any forward and I’ll fucking SLIT HIS THROAT…
Cage(Yawning): What are you gonna fucking do.. Kidnap him???....
( Diamond Cage laughs as he steps forward and Colin Kaline takes the blade closer to Hawk’s throat )
Hawk: CAGE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME KILLED?
Cage: :heh: .. Well um.. If you die I can have Cameron Ella Ava to myself.
( Hawk is shown enraged as Aria Jaxon from behind whacks Colin Kaline with a steel chair )
Cage(Singing): I’M SORRY MISS JAXON.. I AM FORRREAAAAALLLL…
Aria: DAD SHUT UP!!! YOU’RE EMBARASSING ME..
Hawk: FUCK.. WHERE IS DARK DEMON?
( Dark Demon is nowhere to be found as Chris Hessian and Moonlight Predator are shown to be laid out on top of each other and Hornswoggle sleep at the foot of Diamond Cage as Hawks cellphone rings and it shows to be Robbie V )
Robbie V: So.. did you fuckers get him?
Hawk(Lying his ass off): Uh.. yeah! We fucking OFF’d HIM!!! RIGHT CAGE???
Diamond Cage: YEAH ROBBIE.. I SLIT HIS THROAT…
Robbie V: Hmm.. good job.. I didn’t card you guys tonight so enjoy the night you can leave…
( Hawk hangs up as his face shows fear )
Hawk: Dude we’re about to be so fucking in trouble..
Aria: Shoulda just told the truth
Cage: SO WE CAN LOSE OUR FUCKING JOBS… HOW DO YOU THINK IM FEEDING YOU???.. HOW DO YOU THINK YOU GET THOSE FUCKING K-MART SHOES.. AND YOUR FRESH ASS WALMART T-SHIRTS..
Hawk: Look we need to find Demon and end this ONCE AND FOR ALL…
Robbie V: If you guys didn’t notice.. You didn’t hang up the phone.. Both of you are fucking fired and I WON’T rehire you until I see Dark Demon DEAD.
( Robbie V hangs up as Hawk goes to the ground curled up and Cage and Aria looks down at him )
Hawk: SOILED IT.. SOILED IT… SOILED IT.. SOILED IT!!!
Cage: FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( The camera fades to black )
PART 3 SOON LMAOOOO!!
by 
Subject: Part 2: ADVENTURES OF DIAMOND CAGE AND HURRICANE HAWK 
