EAW Promoz!

EAW Promoz!

Here you can write promos about shows, Elitists, Vixens, matches, debuts, or just do some character development. Please do not spam, or put pointless things that aren't promos and DO NOT CHALLENGE ANYONE and remember, THIS IS ALL FAKE AND STORYLINE so please do not take anything serious. Thank you.

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 10:27 pm by **Ahren Fournier**

(We fade into Ahren in the scary old wilderness. He's tough, he's wearing a cowboy hat, he can handle it, it's tranquil at the moment though, so it's actually quite peaceful. He's clearing his head before his big match vs. Keelan)

Here I am in the great outdoors, away from the hustle and bustle of the city life. I've got my cowboy hat on so you know that I'm tough, and mean business. This here is my horse Esteban, he's a good horse.. Well, I couldn't actually find a horse, so I have mounted upon a Moose... It was the closest thing I could find. Esteban and I, we've just been discussing a variety of different things. But mostly, we've been having a good old chat about dear old Keelan.

(The camera pulls out to reveal he's riding a Moose, he plans to ride it all the way to Barcelona.. Or at least to the plan to Barcelona, and then sit on the Moose as the plane goes to Barcelona)

Wow Keelan, you want to talk about how much I got wrong? Whew! Let's start off with this, I have more losses than I do wins? Ok, name them please? Who have I lost to? I'm sure if I had a losing record I wouldn't be touted as one of the best on Voltage. If i had a losing record I don't think I would have ever gotten the title opportunity that I got. Honestly my losses are few and far between, and when I do lose? It's because of jealous, glory stealing peoples interference. People like you who can't stand the fact that I've surpassed everything they've done. Doesn't sound like a losing record to me Ok so enough of the cry baby bullshit, of oh I said it first meehhhh. Like I get I said the I said it first thing, but when I said it, it was just me pointing out the fact you're unoriginal. You are saying it as a way to dig yourself out of your grave, and coming off as childish again. But wow that was kind of a stretch, teenage girl, prepubescent girl... clearly my vocabulary is exemplary more vastly superior than yours, but I mean wow. You kind of sound like a bitch haha. You're really just saying that because I called you out first. You're just grasping at straws to make you seem less awful at this, but it's too late, everyone already knows. I mean you're the guy that thought you beat me twice before.

(A wild herd of campers can be seen.)

Hello locals, 'tis I, Ahren Fournier. Even here, I'm sure you know of me I know you probably don't have much in this land so I shall leave you with bread, and wine. May you be full, and have your thirsts quenched

(Ahren hands them bread and wine from the knapsack on the Moose)

Camper: Uh, thanks.. But we aren't... We're just camping

Campers wife: Hush, he's giving us free wine..

Camper: You have a problem

Ahren: Yes, The Trill Fairy always helps the needy, I'll let you be

(Ahren and Esteban gallop off a bit)

Campers wife: Yay! WINE!!

(Ahren and Esteban keep going until they get to a lake)

Drink up Esteban, you need nourishment for the long journey ahead of us, a journey that will bring trials and tribulation... But most importantly trill good deeds. We are the life savers of the land, I'm so unselfish, even though I'm like the hottest person ever. Like people should are so stoked on me right now. It's like, whoa not only is he really really super good looking, but he's like the most unselfish person ever. How's the water Moose horse?

(Esteban is downing the lake water)

Ahren: you're ok Esteban, you're ok. Anyways Keelan, back to you. I guess I was wrong, I was wrong and gave you too much credit. You got beat down by the wolvesden and took some time off to think? That doesn't speak too highly of you at all. It took you 3 or 4 months .... to think. You missed show after show for mental health days? Really, you're even bigger of a pussy than I thought. You said that you won't give up, but here you are admitting that you kind of did. You did give up, but okay play it off like you had to get things in order. You tucked your tail between your legs, took your ball, and you went home. That doesn't sound very Champion like now does it?

Congrats on winning rising star man, an accomplishment that proves nothing. That's all a popularity contest, you think hall of famers have rising star of the week? MVE? To their hall of fame resume? Hell man; Cody Marshall won that like 5 times, and who the hell is he? That proves absolutely nothing, and the fact that your boasting about that.. yeah you're right, I do think it's pathetic. But here you are saying I've gotten lost in the shuffle, when I am where you want to be. Let's not forget you're challenging me for my title. CHALLENGING, versus the CHAMPION, champion meaning I am higher than you. And yes I know you'll make the very clever pun of yes Ahren you are higher than me because you must be high to think you're better. But no Keelan I just have to look at facts. And the facts are, the only time I ever lose is when someone decides to get involved in my one on one affairs. You're obsessed with me, when have I ever got involved with anything you do? Mention your name one time and now my life is all your life revolves around? Now you won't leave me alone. Do you have pictures in your closet of me that you cut yourself to? I wouldn't put it past ya. You're big accomplishment is that you stayed alive during a match with Drastik and Aren? Congrats. You're biggest accomplishment is losing a number one contenders match, your parents must be proud. And you fought on one FUCKING knee against Kenny drake. So yeah like I said you're fragile, you got hurt. You put yourself in the position where you actually had gotten your knee hurt. Where if it was me? I wouldn't have even had to hop around on one leg. Ive never been hurt, never will. But now all of a sudden you're all better. Like magic! Either you were playing up that injury big time, or it isn't fully healed. You don't wrestle on one knee then all of a sudden you're fine. Hurt knees are basically for life man, and you telling me this just gave me the target. You're not very smart are ya? Yes Keelan I've beaten two people since being Hardcore Champion, I've also only been champion for about 3 weeks! Soooo... 2 out of 3 weeks isn't that bad, considering you were the reason I lost the one. Speaking of which I owe you some payback! You clearly know nothing about me Keelan, you don't think I'm hardcore, you're taking the champion of hardcore for granted. I basically murdered Maero, but that's no Hardcore enough. I torture my body for pleasure every week but that's not hardcore enough. What is your definition of hardcore? Living in the shadows? Cool maybe you should fight the homeless more often then, by your definition they're as hardcore as it gets. Yes Keelan I self promoted my way to getting the opportunity because winning doesn't necessarily get you where you need to be here. I won, and won, and won last year, but still has to face off in battle royal scramble, battle royals scrambles that don't judge by talent, those are luck competitions, and yeah I didn't have that great of luck in them. But when I actually had my one on one chance, I came out on top, and that's really all that matters. Stop living in my past, and open your eyes to the present. But umm in what way did I take the easy way out? Was it when I had thumbtacks in my back? Or when I fell in a pile of chairs? When my face was cut open? What easy way out are you referring to? You say I earn it and then say I has the easy way out... when you're the one that's wrestled twice this entire year and now have a chance at this title. Don't get me wrong you had two great matches. One you won, one you didn't. And you got the first opportunity because of your first match. So how'd you get this one exactly? By showing heart in your last match? Is that all it takes now? I don't know that seems lame to me.

(Ahren looks back at Esteban)

Are we good here Esteban? We have a lot more people to help on the way to Barcelona. I am braving the wilderness right now, making myself mentally prepared for the trials ahead. IF I can handle the cruel wilderness, I most certainly can handle you. I mean, I already know I can, but I'm enjoying this so. (Ahren hops on the back of Esteban and they make their way onward) just a part of the journey. So hey Keelan thanks for the advice about your knee, but I don't think I need any advice from you either. Seeing that your ex easily beat the shit out of you, I think I can handle it fine. Speaking of which are you sure she's done with you? She seems like she still has a lot of aggression towards you, tread lightly Keelan... I'd be careful and keep an eye on that girl. But that's just me. I sense a bunch of hostility coming from you Keelan. A lot of anger, with a lot of cussing for no reason. You know why you're feeling all of this anger? And this food two shows act that you've had for so long is fading away? It's because you finally met someone you know in your heart is better than you. You know that you're up against, in your mind, your match. You know everything I'm saying is right, and you're floundering. So instead of saying things in a calm manner like the norm, you're flying off the handle. I'm getting you off your game. While I'm just here, chilling, I'm calm, I'm keeping cool. Because just like you, I know I'm better than you, and I know this Saturday at Grand Rampage, I'm going to back up everything that I say. Like I always do. You can have all 90,000 people cheering, they can boo me if they'd like. I'm pretty sure they live in a free country? Maybe? Their boos are like cheers to me. So go ahead take their cheers, I'll just take the W.

(Ahren rides Esteban into a city. The wilderness ended, and everybody is lining up to see the Moose Horse, and Ahren. As they all crowd around, Ahren tips his cowboy hat, and throws condoms at everyone. They cheer.)

You're welcome, thank you, thank you, I'm not hero, just a Trill Fairy, doing his Trill duties.

See you this at Grand Rampage Keelan. HIIIYYYAAAA.

(Ahren makes the Moose Esteban the great, gallop away and into the sunset. The camera fades to black)

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 9:44 pm by **Tomi Venus**

Who's In There?

5 - EAW Promoz! - Page 2 10.jpg?i10c=img

[The sun is setting on a pier. The ocean waves move softly in the background with the seagulls cawing.]

"Thank you so much Mr. Smiles!"

[Target Smiles is in his street gear and mask doing autographs for a couple of teenagers.]

"Are you going to be in the Grand Rampage this weekend?"

Well, they have not given me a definitive yes or no so I can't say.

"Aw man. I really hope they let you do it, you're one of my favorites right now."

I'm sure you'll see a lot more of me in time.

"Thanks for the autographs, hope you're in the Rampage."

You're both welcome, you two stay out of trouble.

[Target moves to lean on the railing of the pier facing the water. A man walks up and leans on the railing several feet away.]

???: A lot on your mind huh? After all the work you've put in and everything you've sacrificed you feel like you deserve some level of respect.

Target: People respect me.

???: Fans respect you. People who see what you've done since you put on the mask respect you, but the people you want to respect you don't. If they did you might not be doing this.

Target: I do it because the people want me to do it.

???: It seems that a lot of people don't want you to do it. It almost seems like you're just trying to prove all of them wrong when you should be trying to prove yourself right.

Target: It's not about me. It hasn't been for a long time.

???: Not since you put on the mask huh? But what about before that? Back then it was all about you. That's why things fell apart with her, with your friends, with your buddy who made you feel like you were living in his shadow. You ran away from everything because you were so angry with everyone. You were the only person you cared about. Now you come back with a mask and expect me to believe you're doing it for everyone else?

Target: I owe it to them. I can still do something good.

???: So instead of coming to them face to face to make amends you put on a mask and try to make a difference without anyone knowing it's you.

Target: What other choice do I have? They don't see me as any different than the last time they saw me.

???: But maybe if they knew who was behind that mask you'd be making more progress.

Target: Or maybe they would rip the opportunity away from me before I had the chance.

???: Maybe. But they'll never know it's you.

Target: This mask is a symbol of all the changes that I've made over the last several years. Once it's off all of that progress means nothing. Once it's off everyone who knew me is going to go back to treating me like the person I was before. This mask is who I am now.

???: Then what's the point?

Target: The point is to prove all of them wrong before they know to turn me away.

???: So you just want to prove them wrong?

Target: They are wrong.

???: So forget about them. Think about yourself. You say you're great, you say you've put in all of this work to get here and that you are worthy of success. So go out there and prove it. Prove yourself right.

Target: Do I know you?

???: No, but I know you. I know who's under there and I know that you can only keep him under there for so long before he has to come up for air.

Target: Don't hold your breathe.

???: Trust me T. Sooner or later you're going to have to face this.

[The man walks away]

Target: That bridge is still very very far away. But I'll be ready to cross it once I get there.

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 8:29 pm by **Jack Ripley**

(One half of the High Rollerz, the sexiest tag team that has ever lived is standing outside of a barbershop. He’s excited he wants to look spiffy for his Tag Team title defense against the RoVipers.. He knows that’s not the name, but it’s fine)

Jack: Oh boy I can’t wait to get my hair cut so I can look spiffy for all those picture when we retain our titles! I’ve been going here since I was a kid, they know how to fix me right up! I don’t know why I’m saying this out loud, but I seem to do it every time I come here. Perhaps I want everyone around me to know about my life, and what I’m doing with it at all times.

(Person walks by)

Jack: Hey you!

Person: Me?

Jack: No? Not you… Yu…

Person: Huh?

Yu: JACCCKK!

Jack: Oh my god I haven’t seen you since Vietnam!

Yu: I know, those bastards just kept coming.

Jack: But we won so it’s ok.

Yu: COD man, it’s a tough game some times.

Jack: Haha yeah.. not for me, but I get what you mean.

Yu: You still talk to David?

Jack: Oh, do you not watch TV? We’re big stars…

Yu: Oh really?

Jack: Um, yeah, if you’d turn around you would see that we’re on that poster right there

(Yu turns around)

Yu: Oh yeah look at that. Cool dude.

Jack: Oh, yeah.. I remember why I stopped talking to you, you suck. Go away now.

Yu: Aw L

(Yu sulks away and will never EVER be seen again)

Jack: Hey you!

Yu: Yeah?

Jack: No not Yu.. You! That other guy, the first dumb guy that thought I was talking to him

Yu: Oh. Ok

You: Yes?

Jack: I get my haircut here, isn’t that exciting.

You: Yeah its…

Jack: I mean you probably are very jealous seeing that you’re bald and stuff. But don’t worry our National bird is also bald.. So, you’re kind of patriotic I guess.

You: Thanks… have fun.

Jack: Oh I will, nothing can bring me down!

(Jack goes into his barber shop, everyone knows him, and he gets sat down right away. It’s very busy but even with the hustle and bustle they know Jack comes first.)

Flo: Hey Jackie, everyone busy, but don’t worry we got a new hire that’ll be right ova. He’s very.. .Ok.. I mean, he won’t accidentally slit your throat or anything.. Um so. Good luck

(Jack is nervous, Flo, his trustworthy hair stylist of 20 years has abandoned him. Never has he felt so betrayed… Ever.)

Jack: Well.. It cant be that bad right?

???: HEEYYYY JACK!!

Jack: God… Damn… It.

Interviewer: NEW JOB! WHAT DO YOU THINK?? OOOHH ARE YOU MY FIRST CUSTOMER!! YAY! IM GONNA MAKE YOU LOOK SO GOOD FOR THIS WEEKEND.

Jack: Nope, Nope, Nope, not happening, I said, NOOOOPE.

(Jack gets up, flustered about what has transpired… But not surprised)

Interviewer: What’s wrong?

Jack: Take a seat interviewer.

Interviewer: It’s Barberviewer now

Jack: I’m going to slap the dentures out of your mouth if you don’t shut up and sit down.

Barberviewer: Okay….

(Barberviewer sits down, and Jack puts the apron on him)

Barberviewer: Hey.. w-what are you..

(Before the Barberviewer can finish his sentence Jack shaves the interviewers head… Or so Jack thinks..)

Jack: W-What the hell?

Barberviewer: NOOOOOOOOOO, You’ve found out my deepest darkest secret!

Jack: Ummm

(The Barberviewers wig falls to the ground.. To reveal his chrome dome)

Jack: Oh wow.. Gross, you’re even grosser than I thought.

Barberviewer: You know what? I actually think that this is fine, I like the way I look! I’m not hiding it anymore!

Jack: Yes you are…

(Jack goes over to where they have wigs and he gets the most ridiculous one he can find, and puts it on the barberviewers head)

Jack: Congrats you’re a ginger now.

Barberviewer: Ew, but that means I don’t have a soul.

Jack: Don’t worry you never did. They only give souls to winners.

Barberviewer: Aw man L

Jack: You look ridiculous.

Barberviewer: Hmm I don’t know, I’m kind of starting to like it.

Jack: You are just the worst type of person.

(Barberviewer takes out a donut out of nowhere and starts chomping down, while also trying to ask Jack questions)

Barberviewer: SOOO UH WHAFT YEOU THK BOT..

Jack: I’m going to stop you right there, you disgust me. You have no manners, no hair, no social skills, you embarrass me by just being around me. Get out of my chair before I Sweeny Todd you, mmk?

Barberviewer: Ight

Jack: Go choke on the donut please.

Barberviewer: Ha Jack you’re such a kidder.

(Barberviewer leaves the barber shop)

Flo: WAIT… (she looks at Jack) Where is he going?

Jack: Comic Con probs

Flo: He’s still supposed to be working.

Jack: OH yeah, he’s the worst, you should’ve known that before hiring. Attention span of a mouse, talent of one too in everything he does. And face of a rat… But that’s neither here nor there.

Flo: Ugh.. Well I’ll give you a haircut now Jack, I just got done with the last one.

Jack: Thanks Flo.. How’s the Progressive website.

Flo: You know I hate that joke.

Jack: HAHA, I know.

Flo: HAHA you kidder. So how’s the wrestling going?

Jack: It’s good. Big match this week.

Flo: That’s nice, proud of you and all your success. I remember when I didn’t even have to trim your beard! HAHA

Jack: Yeah Nostalgia is great.. To an extent.

Flo: What do you mean?

Jack: Well Flo if you’d allow me talk to my opponents, I’d explain something to ya.

Flo: Go right ahead.

(Jack looks at the camera and starts talking)

For two Hall of Famers you two seem ..

Flo: What the hell? Has there been a camera here this entire time!

Jack: Yes Flo, you’re going crazy in your older years.. Not sure how I feel about you cutting my hair anymore… But continue regardless.

Flo: Oh Jackie always the kidder.

Jack: Right. Kidder… Anyways, you two seem rather new at this. You guys don't get it, do you? We understand this division is complete and utter shit, that is why we're so excited to face you guys. Rehashing the same old argument that the division is weak doesn't change the fact that we are here, and we are champions. No one has even came close to beating us, which granted, they haven't been the best of competition, but is that our faults? Sure you two probably aren't what you used to be, but at the same time that doesn't change the fact you are wrestling legends. But repeating the same old tired shit doesn't make you innovative, or creative. We get it, the division sucks, but we can safely say that we have been the best tag team in this division in years. You guys want to say that we're repetitive, but you guys are saying the same thing that we've been hearing for months. But I guess you two are the saviors to this division? Oh but you don't care about the titles, it's just an inevitability. Well that'll be just great for the division! Let's have the two guys that couldn't care less about the titles beat the guys that have been here for months reigning supreme, wrestling their asses off for this company because they're legends. Why? Just because they can. That speaks volumes about this division, that two has-beens… Eh maybe I wont use the words has-beens. Have to keep in mind just who two are after all. But two guys that haven’t tagged together in about 7 years can just waltz right in, not even ask for a title match, not even want a title match, and still get one, just because they are who they are. Not only that but they don't even want to be champions, and still expect to be better champions than the current workhorse champions. A golden opportunity for a lot of people just fell into your laps, and you just scoff at it basically. It’s kind of a been there done that kind of thing right? Well that kind of thinking won’t help this division better, it’ll just make it worse. What kind of backward thinking place is this? Shouldn't people want to see us succeed? People want to say that this division is dead, and that we're just paper champions. Ok, and how would beating a team that hasn't competed with each other for 7 years, and a team that doesn't actually want to team winning the titles change anything? How would us beating them mean anything? I'm actually thinking more in depth about this right now, and this whole scenario is a huge slap in the face. You two win, and then what? A whole bunch of new teams will just magically appear? You two just have the golden touch and Sex N Violence, Dynamite Rain, The Mercenaries.. They just all magically reappear? Who would you defend these titles against to make them mean something again? Well, the choices really are.. The High Rollerz... or... The High Rollerz. We are THE tag team in EAW. If you want to prove your worth, we are the measuring stick around here nowadays. That's the problem, their has never been a measuring stick around here for us to prove ourselves with, but you two are the closest option. You want to know where we went? You want to know why we left? I've already said this, I said it months ago. No it wasn't because we couldn't handle the competition that's around here, it's because I got married. I want to go spend time with my wife, I wanted time with my family because in a marriage, that's what you do. Then, when the time was right, when the itch was too much to bare, I called up David, and was like, it's time to dominate again. And that's what we did. I don't care about your repetitive stance that their wasn't any competition, we get that, but with the teams that were around, we beat them all. We did that, we're undefeated as a team, that has to count for something right? Of course not to you. But we've been running through this division so easily, so convincingly, that you should take notice. You take this match for granted, like it appears that both of you are doing, and chalking up inevitability as the main reason as to why you'll win, well I just don't think that's good enough. This isn't fun for you guys, this match is a chore, which speaks volumes on how you view this division. But Robbie you keep talking about longevity, you haven't even been here the whole time, weren't you fired? Didn't you beg for your job back? You haven't been here day in and day out for this entire time, and neither has Brian. You two left too. So who are you two to judge us for taking time off when you did the same exact thing? I get it you guys were here longer than we were before leaving, but ok? You still left. Now that we're here, and we've found success so quickly in our return, we're not going to leave. This is our boyhood dream coming true, this is what we've always wanted. You two dreamed of singles success, and winning world titles. Well the High Rollerz have only dreamed of one thing, and that's where we are today. We dreamed about going into the biggest shows as the champions, walking out as champions, and we've done just that on numerous of occasions, and we don't want this dream to end. Yeah, maybe we took the biggest gamble of our careers by accepting this match. But if you look at our past history with gambling, it normally works out in our favor. As a matter of fact we don't gamble, we take calculated risks. Risks that we basically know how the outcome will play out, and just like all the other times we gambled and came out on top, this won't be any different. Not only are we two of the best gamblers this world has ever seen, we will show that we are also the best tag team. Enough talk about what you have done, and let's talk about the here and now. Let's talk about the present. In the present we run this division, we are the young upstarts that have no problem facing off against any opponent. Should we be scared to go against you guys? Maybe, maybe we should have nerves. But after all aren't nerves the only way to make sure you're alive? That rush of adrenaline is exactly what we need, this competition is exactly what we need to make this division what it needs to be. How will it feel when you two fall victim to us, to the team that has faced nothing but weak competition? To a team that you two feel can't lace up your boots? That wouldn't have been able to hack it back in the good old days? Does your legacy take a dip? We're a team that in your eyes, and probably in the eyes of most, you should be able to handle quite easily. But if you can't? Where do your careers go after this? You asked us the question, I only think it's fair to ask the same to you. Two hall of famers not being able to beat The High Rollerz? Whoa. Where do you go after that? Retirement? Face off against each other because someone want to prove their worth to the other? Obviously the one that is pinned. I can tell you where we'll go, onto the next one.

Flo: AANNNN DONE, masterpiece if I do say so myself.

Jack: Thanks Flo, I look stunning. Don’t worry guys, you two get to see how stunning we really are in person, see ya then!

(Camera fades to black as Jack violently waves at the camera good bye)

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 8:08 pm by **Nasir Escobar**

GR Promo 3: Locked and Loaded

It’s funny to see SO MANY PEOPLE repeating themselves. Uttering the same typical nonsense over and over AND OVER again. You think they’d at least TRY to be a tad bit original with the way they tackle dealing with me for the Grand Rampage. What do most people have to say? “You’ve always come close just to fail.” “You haven’t won the big one yet.” “You’re wasting your time and energy at this rate Nas.” It’s a bit cute in all honesty. And by cute, I mean horribly droll and quite a bit sad. Speaking of human tape recorders stuck on repeat, how about that Mike Showman and Jon McAdams huh? Yeeeeaaaah I know. I am just as sleepy and inattentive saying this just as you are reading or listening to this. I mean COME ON! You each got cheap victories over me, but I guess it seems to be the single most valuable thing either of you peons have ever done in your meaningless existences. I say that because YOU WON’T SHUT UP ABOUT IT! Needless to say today I’m going to be ranting and raving about people’s bullshit when it comes to them speaking about me over the last few days. I’m going to dissect every single one of them. Point holes and flaws in their logic. And make them feel like complete ignoramuses. Why? Because that’s fun for you all, the viewer. Honestly though, if I could sum up Mike Showman with just one simple phrase, it would be this. “WE GOTTA BADASS OVER HERE!” I know I know, look at Nas bringing back old memes which should remain dead. But let’s be one hundred percent real here. Showman continues to talk trash to me as if leeching onto my name will catapult him into my league of talent. The caliber of talent that also includes men who have obtained world championship success. And I am fast on track to doing just the same. So it begs the question. By shouting me out week after week, promo after promo. What does that make Showman look like? Does he seem like a credible threat who can tangle with the best of the best? Or does he look like a desperate little kid raging for attention? I will let you all be the judge of that. Meanwhile Jon McAdams continues to steal victories away from top men. Whether it be myself or it be...Eclipse Diemos. Now do I think McAdams has the potential to get pretty far and pull off incredible feats here in the land of the elites? I honestly believe so. But will he in his current state? Oh hell no he won’t. But now before I move on to someone that’s actually worth my time and attention, let me clear up one final thing about the People With Class. You plebeians actually want to take ALL the credit for what I did to Carlos Rosso at Shock Value last november? The absolute embarrassment and ASS BEATING I brought to the ten plus year veteran solely thanks to a couple of kids who don’t even have a year under their belt combined? Don’t make me fucking laugh juniors. I enlisted you all to help deal with Rosso’s goons and nothing more. You knew your roles and played them perfectly. Meanwhile I was the one who immediately locked the grizzled old man into the sharpshooter and forced him to beg for mercy under me for the entire world to see. And don’t think that I’m not that same guy. I will stomp your punk asses out so bad that my boot will be permanently printed onto you both! Now I recommend you stop trying to be billy badasses and go back to staying in your kiddy table lane before I embarrass you verbally ONCE AGAIN! As a matter a fact, I’m not even going to take mention of Mike Showman or Jon McAdams anymore because at this rate I am simply at a loss of words for how ignorant you two are. Mainly Mike Showman of course. Now if you’ll noticed I mentioned that no matter what kind of physical accomplishments i.e. championship title belts I may or may not have obtained. I am still far in a way in a much higher position on the totem pole of this company than twenty plus competitors within this contest. Funny enough the main guy who just doesn’t seem to get it is Rex McAllister. I mean talk about a tryhard. Look at this guy. He seems to have been the one to start a very funny trend that the likes of Chris Elite, Lars Greir, and Solomon Caine have all followed. And that naturally is talking about how Fortuneteller Hamasa is either going to stab me in the back when I am not looking or that her efforts are a waste because they won’t make a difference in the Grand Rampage outcome. Now all I can really say about this is. PLace yourselves within my shoes for this one. I know it’s a bit difficult for the likes of you. These are some pretty damn big shoes to fill. And I don’t mean in size. Lord knows Lars’ big ass toes would tear my kicks to pieces. No no, what I mean gentlemen is this. You’ve got to understand what I have been through in life before pointing the finger like this. You must know the path that I have walked in life. The events of my upbringing that led to me standing right where I am today. Obviously most of you don’t get it. Or simply aren’t interested enough in the subject, so I will spare you all the little details. Essentially I was an orphan boy, and the woman who took me in after I lost my parent was...Fortuneteller Hamasa. In terms of anything past that, I rightfully cannot tell you at this moment in time. But just remember that this woman is essentially my surrogate mother in life. My guardian. My guide.

Rex, your memory must be just as foggy as I stated before. And you’re too blind to even realize what I mean when I tell you this. “and coming the closest outside of the winner, Lioncross, to securing that briefcase.” HAHAHAHAHAHA! Clearly you and I are remembering completely different situations Rex. I remember being on the ladder and doing ALL the work of detaching the briefcase so that Lioncross could just simply climb up and pull it down for free. Meanwhile I remember kicking your ass through most of the match. Even as YOU admitted dominating you with TWO Grand Slams. Now of course I realize that the second Grand Slam wasn’t my brightest moment. Unfortunately for you even with clashing with some of Showdown’s most talented talent, however much like the Plebs with Class...I’m going to have to remind you that no matter what you want to say, even my failures far outweigh your achievements! Now you can look at your little victories throughout the months and claim to be ahead of me at this point, but I just sit here and roll on the floor laughing. It’s not that you’re not good or that the things you have done aren’t noteworthy. All this comes down to Rex is simply that I am in a different league than you at this point, maybe at some point in Season eleven you can try once more. Until then though I’m going to continue to look down at you. Of course that also leads me to the OTHER guys who talked about Hamasa. The aforementioned Chris Elite, Lars Greir, and Solomon Caine. All I have to say is, Lars is just a slightly improved version of Terry Chambers. The only improvement being that Lars actually is competitive. And by competitive of course I mean that he tries and nothing more. Solomon Caine, well he’s the lost cause of the Sanatorium. The guy who’s only there because they needed an extra spot to be filled. And personally a dude who needs to get that wannabe ron jeremy mustache off his damn face. Finally there is Chris Elite. Yet another guy who I clashed with for Cash in the Vault at Pain For Pride Nine. Chris Elite claims just as Lars does that Hamasa will lead me only to disappointment and that he will toss me over the top rope and bask in the ambience of the crowd hating every moment of it. Well quite frankly you two might hate each other but you sound one in the same right now. I told the entire world that I would be one of the men to beat. If I do get tossed out, I can guarantee you whoever is the lucky man to fling me over the top rope will be looked at as one of two things. Either a crafty son of a bitch who caught me slipping, or a real talent who should ride that kind of momentum and shoot straight to the top. But don’t expect it. I don’t fear any person in this match. Mark Michaels, Nathan Fiora, Elijah Stewart, Zack Crash, Sheridan Muller, Moongoose McQueen, or even the great King Tiberius himself. We all bleed the same blood! And of course that leads me to the guy who’ll be coming out at number thirty. The final entrant in the 2017 Grand Rampage match. Ryan Marx. Now I want to touch on something real quick. “Ignoring me does not make me go away. If anything, it makes me stronger.” I can’t speak for anyone else Marx, but best believe I have not forgotten about you one single solitary bit. I know just how talented you are. Just how smart you are. Just how dangerous you are. I am aware of what you are capable of within the ring. And I must say...I’m impressed. But like I said I fear no man. I’m finally back in that groove that I had in 2016. I’ve got that pep back in my step and I’m locked, loaded, and ready to kick some ass. I keep tabs on all things that go on here in the Land of the Elites, Marx. I am Nastradamus, All seeing and All knowing! I would be a fool to not keep up with you of all people. I mean look at you. I am just praying...JUST PRAYING that I get to see you in the ring this sunday night. God himself would be doing me a service by allowing me to lock up with you Ryan. You can be the snake in the grass all you want, but what happens when one moves hastier than the snake and gets it in his grasps? What’s going to happen when I defang you live in front of the entire world? What is going to become of Ryan Marx when I skin you alive and present you to the world as my trophy? I don’t care if you’re the hot shit of the entire season when it comes to newcomers Marx. And that goes for everyone! This season will be defined and shall go down as the season of Nasir Moore~!

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 6:38 pm by Guest

GRAND RAMPAGE II

And when I shall put thee out,

I will cover the heaven, and make the stars thereof dark;

I will cover the sun with a cloud, and the moon shall not give her light.

All the bright lights of heaven will I make dark over thee,

And set darkness upon thy land,

Saith the Lord thy GOD.

Ezekiel 32: 7-8

The clouds part and the heavens are set ablaze. What constellation ascends through the ether? Bathed in empyrean fire. Dressed in threads of burning gold. to overwhelm our mortal senses by the glamour of its sublime radiance? Is it the sun? Nothing so mundane. Does some antediluvian King split the skye as he leads his band of valkyries on their wild hunt. Better. It is nothing else but that ever vainglorious star of mourning; Lannister himself. How splendorous is he who sings his own song with no chorus. Who proclaims himself a God even amongst the sons of man. Yet even so, every star may be outshined by a greater beacon. And from time to time even the meek moon may eclipse the mighty sun. What hubris it is to castigate the misplaced faith of another when one should share that guilt, and further, should place his blind faith in something as meagre as his own mortal self. Truly, some are ambitious in declaring the name of their God, but how low does the Gutter Prince set the bar. More fool Lannister. Reproving mysterious ideals for the sake of something plainly less than ideal. Does he forget that his own ascent, far from meteoric, was itself winding and hindered? So it was when the bastard Vendetta, much alike in vanity, bid the Star of Mourning to halt its trail across the sky. So it was when the Lion’s first kingdom crumbled to dust. The Gutter Prince is a man, not a God, and he will be laid down again. Because, of course, while the Lannister Lion has reincarnated as the Imperial Eagle, this whole rebranding presupposes a susceptibility which like the failed philosophy of Marx must adapt just to survive. Lannister’s very return to the fore presumes not a fixed firmament, but it’s antithesis, the fleeting impressions of impermanence.

So too is Lannister presumptuous. He supposes that I come to usurp his radiance for fear of the dark. Guided only by fragile delusions and dreamings that shield me from the truth as I sleepwalk to the brimstone of the hell he has laid out for me. O but if only Lannister’s time of boasting was as enduring as this vision of me. A false prophet says the first man, his testimony for naught. His faith is but a crutch, easily kicked away, says the second though I have benefit of the doubt. Yet now Lannister raises his voice in reprise, three men make a tiger, and repetition makes belief of baseless claims. A well worn ritual in the house of Lannister. But rote sayings lend themselves less to prudence and more to that very fool’s paradise of which you have warned me. Turn that lens inwards and take heed, because I am of no illusions regarding my condition. The scripture is clear. Expect not sunshine and rainbows but dark valleys and persecution. Be ready to carry your cross, that is the burden which falls to me and for which I have answered. But that is a blade that cuts both ways. This is not a rite of passage but a rite of passing. For he who lives by the sword shall surely die by it, and Lannister like the next man trades on the urgency of borrowed time. Does vain rejection of one’s defects make thou strong? Or only fearful of the dying light? If any is blind it is the Gutter Prince. Though Lannister’s blame only extends so far. His blindness comes not simply from within, but from without. From his position. From the peril of one whose makeshift wings has flown him closer to the sun than befits his station. Sublime light blinds more surely than utter dark. For though a flickering candle alone shall suffice to reform shapes in the darkness, when a bright light dims the eye remains scarred. Similarly it is not the shadow cast by gold, but it’s glint that seduces and erases insight and hindsight alike. So go on. Walk in the light, Lannister, and i will be glad to fight in your shade. For as a sundial counts the sunny hours not merely along the lines of sunbeams but by the shadow their fingers fail to touch, so too shall I look beyond Lannister’s glories, both real and imagined and take him to account by the iniquities levelled against him.

Shall I count them as you count the hours toward your demise?

I fear we lack of time. Each vanity. Each hypocrisy. Each shallow lie. I have already named a few. Alas, I tire more quickly of repetition than thou. What I will say is that Lannister has gone to great lengths to nurture and maintain his legendary persona. But read in the shadow of the lines. It is a fairy tale; a children’s story to scare the immature and weak of mind. And it is about to become a fable to warn those who would follow in such parlour games. Who is the true Lannister? Beyond the grand boasts and bardic embellishments. Beyond the refracted glare of artificial light. What bones fill the throne? The Eagle, it is said, will fall upon and crush in its talons all manner of beasts and serpents. But this one prefers to ambush the already tested by battle. Hardly the brave and noble creature it now proclaims to be, his actions befit only the cowardly lion of old. Fitting really. For the road we walk is indeed paved with yellow gold. And like the Great and Powerful Oz, Lannister may boast of his his unrivalled eminence with impunity...for a time. But when the man comes around and pulls back the curtain, Lannister will have little place to hide his wretched faults.

Shine, Star of Mourning. Gleam while you can.

But remember that even the stars do die.

Your last hour is shrouded in shadow,

So count each last one as bright

God Is Watching.

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 5:16 pm by **Moongoose McQueen**

When Moongoose hits your eye like a big Pizza Pie, that's Amore.

(Moongoose McQueen is seen looking at a board. It has multiple pictures of Pizza Boy with strings linking up to other pizzas, Lannister, Grand Rampage. McQueen sits there and really thinks about it.)

(Camera shifts to McQueen with a bag of flour and dumps it all over himself. McQueen is still confused. He bends down, and picks up a giant bucket of marinara sauce and bathes himself in it. McQueen tosses the bucket aside, covered in flour and sauce. He licks his lips and begins to jot down notes)

(Camera shifts to McQueen all cleaned up, but sitting at a table with a picture of Pizza Boy. McQueen just stares at it intensely before grabbing a pineapple and smashing it on top of the picture. McQueen keeps smashing the picture until the table breaks and collapse.)

McQueen: WHY DO THESE NOT GO TOGETHER?!!!

(Camera finally shifts to Moongoose McQueen sitting on a couch in a dark room. He is humming a familiar Queen’s song before he starts lazily singing the lyrics)
There are plenty of ways that you can hurt a man
And bring him to the ground
You can beat him
You can cheat him
You can treat him bad and leave him
When he's down yeah
But I'm ready yes I'm ready for you
I'm standing on my own two feet
Out of the doorway the bullets rip
Repeating to the sound of the beat

(McQueen leans forward)

So what is the deal with Pizza Boy? Is he a Pizza? Or is he a Boy? Either way, I’m not understanding exactly why he is the other favorite people are seeing to win the whole damn Grand Rampage. Sure, he is a former world champion, but why is everyone jumping on the band wagon that he might just win it again? Because as far as I know, he hasn’t seem to made much of an effort to take back what is rightfully is, and he clearly isn’t as smart as he think he is if he’s going to put all his eggs in one basket with the Grand Rampage and hope to reclaim it. And people say I’m out of my mind. People say I’m crazy, but hey, atleast I’m a productive kind of crazy that gets stuff done, and I really don’t get that from Pizza Boy. Pizza Boy is like an open encyclopedia of things a loser would say. “Eh, better luck next time.” “Nah, I lost, but I’ll learn from my mistakes.” “There is always next time.” What is this? Kindergarden? Is that why you look like a total mess? Sure, he sounds like a cool guy to hang around, but being chilled and biding for your time doesn’t generate as much buzz and results at a man that charges in and demands for what he wants. How dare he thinks he is better than me just because I’m comfortably to speak what is on my mind. How dare he thinks he is better than me, when all I’m doing is exactly what he is doing, but in way it doesn’t sound as crude. No no, no. We are all saying the same things here. We all want to win the Grand Rampage. We all feel entitled for that shot because we all had issues getting to this moment, at the end of it all, we are all the same, but it will come down just to who wants it more. And at this moment and time, who wants it more? You or me, Bud?

What motivates you? All I hear from you is overanalyzing something that just plan isn’t realistic at all. You try to keep calm and focus on the good parts of your life just because you grew up the guy being bullied or picked on and being weird? Man, I grew up as a kid name Moongoose McQueen when a weird older brother, of course I was a target for people to gang up on, but you know what? I was motivated by hate. I was motivated to prove people wrong. When I talk, it’s to make sure no one else is talking, it’s to make sure people don’t have the audacity to interrupt me or question a single damn thing I do. And here you are, just taking it all in like a little bitch and hoping, just hoping you can surprise us all. I’m not falling for your shit. That goofy persona of yours. You’re so called “unpredictability” and wild card approach. I don’t need to be here for that long to know its all a god damn hoax. You’re just riding off the popularity that the consensus is, people like weird. But you see, the thing about weird is, people only like them when it’s harmless. Otherwise, not knowing what something is and hating it is the irrational reaction of fear, and believe me, Pizza Boy, no one is afraid of you. In the role we are to play and assigned to in life, you will always be the victim, never strong enough to be the bully, and there is why guys like myself, the boisterous ones, come into play, and show you exactly how the food chain works. I am an alpha, you are a beta, and this is why life screws you over constantly, and the saddest thing of it all is, YOU LET IT HAPPEN! You let life do this to you, so how do you really expect to be me, a man that is larger than life. You can’t even control your own path to walk let alone change 29 other mens’.

I just don’t get it. It’s all just another popularity contest where people want to see you win, and believe me. I wouldn’t want their pity. Fans can keep cheering for Pizza Boy all they want. Guys like that will never step up to be the man they want him to be, because any instance he gets a chance, he drops it’s all in a instance. It’s one thing to be a champion. It’s another thing to be a real man. But at this point, anyone can be a champion and make claims they are a real man. But the best ones in history, can maintain it long enough do something special with it all. How long is Pizza Boy going to hold on at Grand Rampage? Believe me, not as long as I will.

Bum Bum Bum. Another one bites the crust.
Bum Bum Bum. Another one bites the crust.
AND ANOTHER GONES AND ANOTHER GONE, ANOTHER ONE BITES THE CRUST.

HEY, I’M GONNA WIN THE GRAND RAMPAGE, ANOTHER ONE BITES THE CRUST!

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 4:29 pm by **ThePizzaBoy**

Grand Rampage Promo 3: Cheesy Triangles And Airwaves.

The camera opens to a dark room. In the foreground, the silhouette of a chair possessing Pizza Boy's body as he sits shrouded in shadows. In front of him, a glowing TV full of static and noise. His fingers clasp the chair's arms tight as the camera starts circling the chair. His eyes, full of the black and white lines of dead air as he stares ahead unblinking and tired into the constant humming glow of the television set.

"Everyone's trying to make some noise. Everybody's trying to make a sound. I don't get that. Moongoose is pissing and moaning about not being acknowledged by name, and Lars continues to jabber about...something. I don't know. It's hard to tell anymore. Me, personally, I like the advantages that come with going unrecognized amidst the white noise and bravado of 29 other men. Unfortunately for me, I'm afforded no luxury considering my name seems to be on the lips of everybody. People I've never set foot in the ring with desperately try to drag my name through the mud while others who have been in the ring with me sing my praises just a little bit too high for my paranoia to appreciate it. And then there are the ones like Tiberius Jones who...well...desperately tries to drag me through the mud, and that's fine. That's OK. That sort of smack talk hasn't beaten me thus far, and neither has false praise or ambiguity. It's all just directionless hissing and humming, not unlike this TV set. You're all just sound waves bouncing around in space trying to hit a nerve, but I assure you I've heard it all before. and that it all sounds the same."

PB rises from his chair and turns off the TV. There's a moment of darkness, before a muted click brings light from an overhanging ceiling fan. PB stands still wearing his Bo and Tye shift clothes. His canvas shoes are faintly dusted with flour, and his apron displays a streaking red stain of marinara sauce. His eyes look baggy, swollen, and tired as he stands within the confines of a frugal studio apartment.

"I've been called possessed, distressed, and zeroed in on Darth Lannister, and it occurs to me that all of those words mean the same thing in my opponent's minds: distracted. Well I'm not. quite the contrary. I'm as focused as a sniper laying hairs over a mark's head. Look at my hands. Are they trembling? Look at my eyes. Are they blinking? Do you see me worrying about Tiberius and his guard? No. Do you see me lamenting the decisions I have to make within a split second of stepping through those ropes? No. Will you see regret in my eyes after I throw one after the other over that top rope and move on to reclaim my Championship? No. Do you know why? Because I've justified my actions long before I've had to pull the trigger. There are a lot of held back veteran talents and promising young men in this Grand Rampage, and any of them fit the bill of a winner. Look at the Vegas odds and you'll see they're neck a' neck. Look at the fan polls and you'll see favoritism toward some dispositions, but mostly a fairly nose-to-nose bar graph. Now that's something special. That's something unique to any Grand Rampage in EAW history. That's not a slight against any prior winners, or veterans, or contestants, but it's a rare and beautiful thing to see the past, present, and future well represented. It makes a man humble. It makes him second guess his abilities, but it also puts him into a position where he's overly prepared and calculating. I've been in the ring with around one third of these competitors and I know their tricks, I know their strengths, and I know their strategies. I feel like I should thank Jonesy because he put each and every one of you at a severe handicap when it comes to knowing what to expect from me. There's no tape to prep you, no track record or averages. I'm a wild card going into this thing, and a dangerous ace to draw at that. Make your pizza jokes and your blind presumptions about me all you like, but the fact remains that I'm an unpredictable variable. The fact remains that I've always been the anomaly that's kept EAW on it's toes, and once everyone settles back on their haunches a guy like me capitalizes. Call it sleazy, call it slick, but I call it being a winner in Grand Rampage. I'll do whatever it takes, even if it means hopping around on the outside on one foot until everyone's gone"

PB lifts one tired leg and hops in place as he talks.

"Or I could glomp on to that bottom strand like a spider monkey until an opportunity arises. I'm a man of principle, no question, but the way I see it it's every man for himself in this match and all of us are going to do everything within our power, through hook, nook, or crook, to walk out of Spain the winner."

PB stops hopping, but keeps his leg lifted. He stands as still as a soldier falling into line as he continues to stare into the camera.

"As you can see, I've been practicing. I've practiced until my knees buckled, until my fingers bled, until my arms ached, just so I can ensure more than one way to survive a rampage. I'm not going in gung ho trying to rip a piece out of a rival. I'm not trying to make a point at someone else's expense. For all I could care there could be 29 other men in that ring with me and I'd still be thinking this way. It doesn't matter what you've done to me, who you are to me, or if our paths have even crossed because nothing in this world takes precedence over the fact that Darth Lannister has to pay. This Grand Rampage is a means to an end, and one that I'm not taking lightly but I go in a clean slate without any apprehension or ill will. I go in the way I wish I were able to go into any match, and that's as a pure competitor devoid of any emotional blinders that might prevent me from seeing the path to victory. Be afraid me. Be afraid that I'm learning menial tasks that seem silly and non-threatening in any other field of professional wrestling or otherwise. Be afraid that my fingers and toes are calloused. Be afraid that my right leg has put on two more pounds of muscle than my left over the past week and a half. Don't ask me how I measured, I just know. Be afraid that I'm a mechanic and not a hero. I'm going into this cold, mathematical, and devoid of pride or the fear of consequence. But as for right now, in my room, by myself, staring into a tripod..."

PB puts his leg down and flushes at the cheeks a little. He hangs his head and averts his gaze from the lens.

"I-I'm a little embarrassed I held my leg up for that long. But the rose in my cheeks wont be there in Barcelona. So be afraid of every silly and specific thing I've trained my body to endure and record through muscle memory. Until then, continue on with your static existence. They'll be waiting for you at the end of the night."

PB lifts his remote and points it over his shoulder. He clicks the static screen back to life. As the camera zeroes in on the snowy haze of signals bouncing off of dead satellites on display on the screen, a snicker picks up on the boom from off-mic.

"Hahaha, what the hell am I doing with my spare time?"

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 4:26 pm by **Moongoose McQueen**

Cameron……Cammy, Cameroon….. C-Dawg….. Cammy Crocker….. Cameroni and Cheese….. Cammy Flay….. Cammybear…… Cameron Cameron Cameron Camelliooooon!…… Camalicious……Camster….. Cam-alam-a-ding-dong……Camelot…..Cambodia…… Killa Cam….Camodo Dragon…. Bestie…. .HOW COULD YOU?!!

Did you ….NOT….EVEN…. give my little brother, Moongoose McQueen, even an honorable mention. I mean, I know he has his fair share of doubter, and haters, but from you, the greatest person of all time. Why?!! I feel so hurt. So betrayed. So….blue balled. If he doesn’t have your support, THEN NOTHING ELSE IN LIFE MATTERS ANYMORE!! I'M SO DISTRAUGHT, MY HAIR IN MY WIGS ARE GETTING SPLIT ENDS AND FALLING OFF. Did that week you spent with him mean nothing to you? Is what people going to see on the television just a lie?!! WE TRADED PLACES, GIRLS!! We traded places!! We signed those contracts together to have work with Moongoose and I live that the hunk-a-hunk hunk of man meat of yours, and even then, you doubt his chances?

I didn’t care in the world what everyone thought. The only opinion that mattered to me, was yours. He rooted for you, Cam. He wanted you to win that Empire Cup. He sent you all that lemon pledge as congrats, and is even hoping you defeating Aria Jaxon. He thinks the world of you. This is the one thing Moongoose and I share in common, and even thought he acts like he doesn’t care or like he has bigger and better things to worry about, I know…. Oh, I just know, and feel it from the top of my head AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLL THE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY DOWN TO MY GOOOLDEN GLOOOOOOBES. *breaths in……….. breaths out and bites* HE’S HURTING. AND I FEEL HIS PAIN TOO! All month was nothing but people on the street walking up to him saying he can’t. He can’t. The humiliation, the constant nagging and reminders, it would drive any normal man insane, but he powered through it. Why? Not because he’s an arrogant, egotistical, asshole that only cares about himself and thinks way too highly of himself, but because he had you. BIG …AND I MEAN…YUUUUUUUUUGE EMPHASIS ON “HAD?”
He respects you, he adores you the way I do, but yet you look down on him. Did what you both share mean nothing to you? He told me you beat up bad guys together, saved lives together, went to a male strip club together…. FOR A JOB!! Not what you think? And he cherished those moments. He holds them dare and can’t even wait for the world to see this side of him and you on PBS, later to debut this week under the new Get In the Sea Productions. Watch it, or I’m gonna get ya….. just kidding… Oh am I?

BUT WHY CAMERON?!! WHY?!! WHY DO YOU EMBARRASS HIM?!! WHY DO YOU NOT BELIEVE IN HIM?!! HE LOVES YOU MORE THAN HE LOVES HIS OWN BRAT OF A SISTER. HE’LL KILLS FOR YOU. HE’LL GET YOU ALL THE LEMON PLEDGES IN THE WORLD FOR YOU. AND ALL HE ASKS IS FOR YOUR SUPPORT! I’m disappointed in you, …. I can’t even look at you…. And it’s hard when you are just the most fabulous, precious, beautiful, mystical, gorgeous unicorn in the world. THERE IS NO ONE ELSE LIKE YOU, GURL?!! YOU’RE THAT RARE!! YOU’RE ONE IN A TRILLION, AND EVEN IN THIS MOMENT OF BETRAYAL, MOONGOOSE AND I STILL HOPE YOU BEAT HE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ARIA, THAT PEOPLE MISTAKEN IT FOR A HATE CRIME!!

And despite all this, as hurt as I am now, please know, that if you need me there, I’ll be there for you. When the rain starts to pour. I’ll be there for you… Like I’ve been there before. I’ll be there for you…..Cause you’re ther.…. (Shimmer starts to break down in to tears)

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, I CAN’T EVEN FINISH IT, BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW ANYMORE!! OH….. METHUSELAH… WHY ARE YOU SO CRUEL IN LETTING THIS HAPPEN?!! SHE WAS JUST PERFECT!! SO DAMN PERFECT!! JUST THE WAY SHE IS, AND YOU WENT AHEAD AND CURSED HER WITH THIS MOMENT OF DOUBT AGAINST MY BROTHER?!! BUT YOU WILL ALL SEE… MOONGOOSE WILL TAKE IT ALL. HE’LL TAKE ALL THOSE MEN IN THE RING, AND NOT JUST ONE AT A TIME. I MEAN…. ALL OF THEM AT ONCE, AND YOU ALL BETTER GET HARD, BECAUSE HE IS GOING TO BRING YOU ALL ALONG FOR A RIDE…….. (Shimmer starts crying again)

OH FOR THE LOVE OF DEDEDE, I JUST MADE MYSELF SAD. I REMINDED MYSELF OF OUR CRUISE CONTROL ADVENTURES!! Found in the EAW zone. If you haven’t read it, I don’t know who you are, I don’t know what you want, if you are looking for a cookie for watching the beautiful friendship Cameron and I have, I can tell you I don’t have any cookies. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that makes me a nightmare for people like you and CSI. If you watch that episode of Cruise Control and the upcoming Get in the Sea productions of Trading Places, that will be the end of it. I will not look for you. I will not pursue you. But if you don’t. I will look for you. I will find you….. and I will do things that will leave you very confused.

Watch those, and Tune in on April 15, when my brother, The one, the only, Moongoose McQueen, win the Grand Rampage. And if he doesn’t, it’s because my best friend, Cameron Ella Ava did not use her super awesome superpowers and believed in him. This loss will be her fault.

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 4:18 pm by **Mike Showman**

GRAND RAMPAGE #4

Oh yeah baby! Mike Showman is back again to deliver some more ‘threats’, ‘warnings’ and ‘promises; regarding the Grand Rampage match. Even though I have said time and time again that I am totally against such ridiculous, I think I will make an exception this time because man, the shit is too much intense. People from left and right are talking shit about each other which is even breaking the barriers of ‘brands’ and that is a major thing that makes this even more interesting. So yeah, hope you guys are ready for me because here I come once again!

I will start things off once again with TLA because like I said before, that guy is chill as fuck. It’s good to get the chilled guy out of the way first especially because right now, I too am cool. Who knows, maybe after talking about all the other guys, I might get mad and furious and so yeah, definitely TLA first. So TLA, first of all, there is one thing you should know and that is, I got no problem with the way you walk or talk. In fact, I find that shit really funny. Also, I believe that in this land of over serious people, you are like a breath of fresh so yeah, I don’t understand from where you get the idea that I of all people would mock you regarding these things? But yeah, if I have to hazard a guess then the reason would bog down to the fact that you are nervous about this match. You are nervous because you realize this is a golden opportunity for you to go to the main event of Pain for Pride and so because of that intense pressure, you are hallucinating about things that have not been done. But don’t worry, I won’t mock you because of this unlike some of the others here even though it is fucking hilarious to see you babble some unreal shit like a sick bastard. Also, now that we are on the subject of babbling unreal shit, let me remind you that I like to be called as the man who gives not shits, the-man-who-gives-no-shits and not the man who gives no fucks. Firstly, I give fucks, especially to hot girls and secondly, those two might sound similar to someone like you but trust me, I like to keep that fine boundary that exist between those two words. But yeah, you made perfect sense about one thing and that is, I have no beef with you. When I meet you inside the ring at Grand Rampage, we will fight until one of us gets eliminated or someone decides to butt in. it’s all respect, all professionalism and I hope it will continue to remain the same once I become the man to eliminate you! Oh yeah baby, I am ready for a fight, come at me bro!

Now let me focus on someone new, someone who I tried to ignore because he simply isn’t on my level but this guy keeps butting in by throwing random insults down my way hoping that I notice and address him back. Yeah, I am talking about Lars Grier. What do you need to know about that man? He is generic, he is boring and his words will put you to sleep. Thank the Gods that it’s a Grand Rampage match not a one on one match because if it were a one on one contest then his same old lengthy sentences about ‘domination’, ‘destruction’ and ‘devastation’ would have transformed me into a Koala! So yeah Lars, you think that I show-off and that I whine, complain and brag? Well congratulations for getting it right because that is exactly who I am. What? You think it’s a joke? No man, I am serious. I show-off because I am a man with class and there is no one in this company who can equal me when it comes to charisma and style. I am so good inside the ring that I outclass anyone including former champions and soon to be hall of famers and so of course I have to whine and complain about not getting competition which is better ‘suited’ for someone like me! And lastly, I brag because I have beaten almost everyone inside that Voltage locker room and as a result, The People with Class is now a major player in the yellow brand. I am pretty sure that if you were in my position right now you would have done the same, brag, whine and complain. You criticize The People with Class for ‘preying’ on a weak Drastik but I am confident that if you were in our position, you would have done the same. And so, stop trying to act like you are some saint! As far as the Grand Rampage match goes, let me put it to you simply, you will not be winning that. You know, there is a saying that the bigger they are, the harder they fall and that is not simply some ‘saying’ because there is a profound scientific theory behind that which states that big men usually have little to nothing thinking power. Don’t get me wrong though, some big men can think very well but you, you don’t fall in that category and so, I wouldn’t be so confident if I were you. Even if you ignore all the sciences and assume the impossible that you brain can think just like mine, you still will lose because you have made a The People of Class your enemy and that is a fatal error. The People with Class will ensure that you are thrown over the top rope and maybe after that, you won’t dare speak to us again in such a tone!

Finally, it’s time to talk about a dear old friend of mine, Solomon Caine. So Solomon, how are you doing buddy? It’s been a long time since we last met and I remember that the last time we met in the ring, I kicked your ass out of the King of the Elite tournament. So yeah, you doing well since that day? Anyways, talking about you is really a waste of time because I have beaten you and that itself speaks clearly that I am better than you. You talk about your master, you talk about how we should rectify ourselves because our paths will lead us to our doom but I believe that if anyone here needs to rectify his path then, it has to be you Caine. I mean, look at you, you are going nowhere in Voltage and while I can talk about beating guys like Aren and Nasir Moore, you have no such big names to brag about. Caine, maybe it’s time to ditch that no good master of yours and actually choose a path that will save your career because right now, it’s going nowhere. If you choose to follow the same road then you will land up in the land of obscurity and so, change yourself. Also, regarding the Grand Rampage match, you won’t be winning it and so, you better start thinking beyond it.

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 3:51 pm by **Aria Jaxon**

MATTERS OF THE HEART -- BARCELONA, SPAIN.

You think you’re different than all the others, don’t you?

You’ve spent so much time calling yourself a goddess and have become so wrapped up in the idea that you’re worthy of being put on a pedestal that you somehow believe yourself to be different than anyone else who’s attempted to permanently rid themselves of the problem known as Aria Jaxon. You’ve convinced yourself that you’re more capable of taking on the task than Stephanie, Kendra, The Mercenaries, or Kenny Drake. If their failures weren’t enough to shake you from your self-important daze, why weren’t your own failed attempts enough to make it painfully apparent to you that I can’t be kept down? You’ve tried, Cameron. You’ve tried your hand more than once. To your credit, you’ve knocked me down before, but that’s never been enough for you, has it? You wouldn’t still be chasing me to the ends of the earth if beating me was enough to satiate you. “This time will be different!” you’ve assured me. “I’ll dust my hands of you once and for all!” But...no, you won’t. This isn’t the night everything changes between us. I highly doubt this is the end of the line. This won’t be the last time we meet, but this chapter of what will ultimately become a storied rivalry? It belongs to me. You can keep spouting off at the mouth, Cameron. You can run in on as many matches as you want. You can film all the cute little vignettes you want, and proclaim that without you, I wouldn’t be here. At some point, you have to come to grips with the fact that none of this is any different from the ways you’ve approached any of our other matches, and win or lose, the one thing you’ve never been able to do is ensuring that I was tossed off to the side completely. Now that I think about it, maybe I shouldn’t be asking you if you’re different from everyone else who’s sworn they’d rid themselves of me. The really pressing question should be if you think you can outdo yourself? Can you finally put your money where your mouth is, Cameron? Your ability to win has never been called into question, but your ability to put someone like me out of commission? That is the bar that you set for yourself here. You’ve talked a big game, and you can’t afford not to deliver. You can’t afford to have me walking around Empire as a constant reminder of the time you said you’d cause one of the pillars of Empire to crumble -- and failed. You can’t live with the knowledge that I’d be a step closer to the Women’s Championship, knowing you could’ve stopped me dead in my tracks -- and failed. You say you had to go to hell and back to feel as on top of the world as you do now, and I don’t know if that’s completely true. You don’t equate repeated losses with hell. That’s not hell for you. Losing to me when you promised you’d grind all of my dreams into dust, that is your personal hell. Knowing that giving it your all wasn’t enough to make me as miserable as I’ve apparently made you might be what you’ve envisioned hell to be. You can’t succeed where others have failed, Cameron, and you definitely can’t suddenly figure out the secret to success when you haven’t been able to get rid of me so many other times before. With this win, I put myself one step closer to ultimately becoming Women’s Champion. In the process, if I have to remind you just how hellish losing to me truly is, then so be it.

This isn’t the first time I’ve had to listen to you try and dish out condescension not-so-cleverly disguised as “advice”. Why would I believe for a second that you’re tryna do me a favor, or that you care about “what’s best for me”? You must’ve mistaken me for somebody who’s not used to all your bullshit. This time around, nothing has changed. You’ve alternated between candy-coated insults that you’ve tried to pass off as pro tips and complaints about how hard it was to regain traction after your sorry ass started to fall behind the curve. It’s all sob stories and pitiful ass “advice” with you, isn’t it? If you’re looking for sympathy for having gone through a rough patch until winning the Empire Cup, I can’t reiterate enough that you’re looking in all the wrong places. Nobody cares that you took your eye off the prize long enough to embark on a backslide for the ages. All that matters is that you recovered from it, and you did, in spades. To be fair, I don’t necessarily have any issue with you being proud of the fact that you got your head back in the game. It’s kinda pathetic that you let it get to that point in the first place, but I guess I’ll look at it from a glass-half-full perspective. You want a pat on the back for working your way out of a rut that you put yourself in. You lost in the Vixens Cup finals. You couldn’t beat me to become number one contender to the dearly departed Vixens Championship. You lost to Jamie at Pain for Pride. You talked a big game about wiping Cailin off the face of the earth, and then she bypasses you to win Empress of Elite. You dug that hole for yourself. It was a hole that, if you spent any more time wallowing in your misery, could’ve ultimately been your career’s grave. If you went to such drastic lengths to screw yourself over, the least you could’ve done was eventually put forth the effort it took to get your shit together. That’s what you’ve done. And now that you’re back in a place you’re comfortable with, you’ve taken it upon yourself to try and acquaint me with the helpless feelings that you came to know so well. None of this is worth it for you unless you leave Barcelona knowing that you’ve completely altered the course of my career. If you feel like you’ve got all the cards, I don’t have any choice but to blow over your fragile little house of cards, do I? It’ll crumble, and all of your aspirations for how this match could’ve gone in your favor will go right along with it. I haven’t lined up a Plan B. I haven’t put a single bit of thought into alternatives or pondered the “what ifs?”, because I’m not accepting anything less than a victory here. Every moment since Pain for Pride last year has led me to this point, and the journey isn’t complete until things come full circle and I’m a champion again. Every win, every loss, every near-miss, and every triumph has served as the compass that will ultimately wind up pointing me toward what could be considered redemption for me. It might be fun as hell for you to recount that HBG is the one that ended my Vixens title reign, but where is she right now? She’s dropped off the face of the earth, and I’m still here, still standing. There isn’t anything you could possibly do to dampen my resolve, Cameron, so that’s why I haven’t bothered to consider my next move if I was to lose. I won’t. You used the “I haven’t lost a singles match in a while” line, but...are you aware that I haven’t lost a singles match since that episode of Empire? It’s also at this point that I remind you that our singles matches have all been back-and-forth affairs. There have never been any one-sided slaughters. If this is left up to numbers and odds, it becomes anyone’s game. Anyone looking at all of our previous history would honestly say they can’t pick a winner with complete certainty as of now, so at a certain point, it won’t be about numbers or odds anymore.

This is about heart.

This will prove to be about who wants it more, and how the fuck could you possibly want this win more than I do? How could you sit back and assume that your reasons for wanting to win would actually eclipse mine? Pride and ego are what are fueling you. Right now, all you need is to be able to say that you beat me, and I fully intend to deprive you of what you need. I wasn’t bullshitting when I said that Empire is where my heart is. The women of this company have busted their asses for years in order to prove that we deserve the platforms that we have now. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved being a part of Empire, but something else I’d love is the opportunity to realistically say that I’m standing atop the proverbial Empire mountain. I’ll get back there, sooner than you ever imagined. Your will to win can’t compete with mine, Cameron. I want so badly to win, for reasons that couldn’t be more different than yours. I’m more than ready to pour everything I’ve got into another match with you and reap the rewards. One more time for the people in the back -- this has a lot to do with heart. And I’ve got no two ways about breaking Cameron’s to get to where I need to be.

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 2:33 pm by **Moongoose McQueen**

"Has Moongoose really stooped so low that he is trying to troll me now? What’s next? Is he gonna photoshop pictures of big throbbing dicks into my mouth and spam it all over my EAW Feed?" - TLA

5 - EAW Promoz! - Page 2 11cgs4l

I take my job as a mercenary very seriously. #TLASurroundedbyDicks #GrandRampage #MoongooseNeverForgets #DatAss

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 1:44 pm by **TLA**

GETTIN’ THE JOB DONE

TLA: Moongoose practically throwing a trantrum out here now cuz everyone is ignoring his ass. Shit’s hilarious. I kinda feel bad for him. Iight fine I got too much heart to watch him suffer like this. Guess I gotta talk some shit about him to give him that warm fuzzy feeling inside. You TLA’s special big boy! Or King of Wrong Style or whatever you wanna call yo self now. I mean King of Wrong Style is right. Cuz Moongoose McQueen be spittin’ off some of the most moronic bullshit I’ve heard in some time. First off he brags about having apparently “beaten me at life” which is basically the equivalent of some fatass nerd on social media calling out someone for having “no life at all”. Has Moongoose really stooped so low that he is trying to troll me now? What’s next? Is he gonna photoshop pictures of big throbbing dicks into my mouth and spam it all over my EAW Feed? I should prolly stop before I give him ideas cuz I’m sure he’s listening and writing all of this shit down to come up with other ways to harass me. Nah I know how this game be played. He tryin’ to get into my head but my bullshit meter is just too strong for that shit. Like his claims of being chosen to lead. Dawg you ain’t been chosen to lead. You comin’ out at number one cuz I dropped yo bitch ass with my “stupid piledriver”. Which is actually a good name for it cuz based on yo ass the people who get dropped with my piledriver end up becoming progressively stupider and stupider. His goal is seemingly to kill as many of my brain cells as possible so that I am essentially a cave man by the time I get all up into that ring. Then he can trick me with ease for that elimination. I ain’t surprised you gunnin’ for me off this personal shit tho homie. In fact I’d expect nothing less.

If you ain’t gunnin’ for me you just some bitch ass coward. I ain’t got no respect to put on yo name.

TLA: Someone else who gotta be gunnin’ for me is that female all up in a man’s world. Sheridan Muller. She think all I see when I look at her is some weak lil bitch. But yo I been in the ring with her before so I know that ain’t the case. What she may lack in size or strength she makes up for in other ways. You can’t count her out although I’m sure that’s what she’s expecting. She lures her opponents into a false sense of security usin’ her feminine charm to her advantage. Whether she doin’ this intentionally or not who knows but people gonna underestimate her. They gonna do it at they own risk. I ain’t one of ‘em. Cuz I know better. If Sher comes at me she gonna get the asswhipping I would give any man or women who stepped to TLA. Sher knows from experience that I am capable of delivering just that. I ain’t just givin’ her the backhand like she some ho outta line. This Grand Rampage. No disqualifications.

She gettin’ these fists!

TLA: Speakin’ of poundin’ bitches… Mike Showman wants to come all up in the Poon Palace after Grand Rampage! Now I ain’t fixin’ to tell him no just cuz we gonna be battlin’ it out in the ring. Mike Showman claims he gives no fucks but when he come up in the Poon Palace after the Grand Rampage he better be fixin’ to give some out! Cuz he ain’t got no beef with La Pantera Sexual then La Pantera Sexual ain’t got no beef with him. Just like Rex McAllister. All respect. All professionalism. But when we get in that ring it’s gonna be no holds barred. No alliances. Goin’ hard goin’ strong.

Goin’ all out!

TLA: Meanwhile we got Mike Showman over here takin’ shots at the way I talk. The way I walk. He got some shit to say about my culture. One thing I ain’t gonna object to is him calling me a reality TV show. Tho unlike most reality TV shows what you gettin’ with TLA is undeniably 100% realness. I bring that reality to my haters and to my amigos alike. I been easy on y’all and you think that makes me an easy target. Yo keep thinkin’ that homie. It’s what I want you to think. People sayin’ I’m the favorite to win this whole thing. Can’t hurt to have a few of y’all underestimating me tho. If you come into this thinkin’ I be an easy target then you missin’ the whole point of all my analyzing and strategy. You think imma reveal everything to you? Nah dawg I be too sneaky for y’all. Maybe I am going hard and strong after the people who I consider threats. Or maybe it’s all a distraction and the people I’m ignoring are actually the people I fear most. Maybe I want them to feel safe before the panther come leapin’ outta them branches…

Strikin’ outta nowhere!!!

TLA: Then we got Lucas Johnson the New Breed Champion and one of the champions I beat coming into this match makin’ his first statements. Makin’ shit known that he comin’ for it all. Homie seems mad as fuck. Watch out. We got an unpredictable one. Never know what the rage beast gonna pull off. He just might explode in that ring and we just won’t see that shit comin’. Who else? Oh yeah Elijah Stewart. I have no idea who he is except apparently Sher kicked his ass on Voltage before hoppin’ the border over to Dynasty. That’s prolly not a fair assessment but who gives a fuck about fair! This homie sucks ass and ain’t worth nobody’s time! I don’t even think I’ve heard anyone else even name drop this lil hoppa. Damn that’s irrelevant as fuck and I be sayin’ this from another brand. What’s yo excuse when even Voltage homies don’t remember who you are!

Who the fuck is Elijah Stewart?

TLA: On the opposite side of that spectrum we got someone who everybody know. The King of Elite himself! Tiberius Jones! Now ain’t that just another blast from the past! See back in 2014 and 2015 when I was just a little rookie ass noob makin’ his way up in the world I took on Tiberius Jones. And that puto always had my fucking number! I ain’t down with that no more. Nah homie. Shit gonna be different this time! Just like with The Pizza Boy you all gonna see just how far TLA has come. Some of y’all ain’t seen me for years. Some of y’all ain’t seen me for months. This is my time! Imma prove to all of y’all just what pure hard work and determination can bring. I live, eat, breath, drink, and sleep wrestling.

You gonna have to match that shit you wanna fuck with me.

TLA: Speaking of royalty we got Solomon Caine up in here talkin’ like he livin’ in 1669 or some shit. Wantin’ yo boi to fall on he knees before his “glorious reign”. Awww hell nawh I know that shit was okay back in France in yo childhood back in 1535 and now it’s becoming fashionable again but La Pantera Sexual simply do not swing that way. I ain’t fallin’ on my knees before you dawg. Maybe you should meet up with that homie who told me to toss some dudes salads cuz you got them gay ass fantasies goin’ into this match that you gonna have to find elsewhere. This is the Grand Rampage not the Gay Ass Rampage. Maybe Shimmer will be hosting that shit. Go sign up for that match holmes.

Cuz I be lookin’ to whip ass not do whatever the fuck you want me to do with yours faggots.

TLA: Chris Elite don’t want none. No he don’t want none. But he definitely gonna get some. Big Mike too if he wanna step to me in that match. Rex McAllister and me got that respectful understanding going. He right that past matches don’t mean shit. The undefeated for a year guy could be the dude losing to El Landerson the next week. I mean prolly not but that shit could happen. You never fucking know. The facts are that both Rex and Chris gotta recognize just what my record mean. It don’t mean shit is guaranteed. It never has. What it proves is that I can get the job done. That I’ve gotten the job done before.

That I will do absolutely everything in my power to get the job done again.

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 1:33 pm by **Moongoose McQueen**

Open Challenge - Just Say My Name

It really is a sad sad state of the world as we know it when the idea of a man being number man automatically inclines that he has no chance at winning. After all, when you look at the list of 29 other men including myself, well, I suppose you are right, I am probably the most and only qualified to stand a chance. It’s a lot like that game, where you can either agree to get hit now 10 times, or get hit 3 times in the future not knowing when it coming. Well, no offense, Lars, I might be dumb enough to be alright with getting hit 29 times and going back on the war path and giving everyone a taste. Because you see, I didn’t go mad, I didn’t give up in my position. Instead, I’m just as confident and comfortable with my position as I’d ever be with any other number. Because that’s just who I am, where if you were to put yourself in my shoes, you’d be quaking in them right now, already defeated not because of 29 men, but because of yourself. At the end of the day, I lost some high profile matches in short time in EAW. But I will never lose to myself, and speak all high and mighty like you want about me being delusional, but don’t mistaken confidence with pure arrogance. I know I can, and I doubt any other man in that ring is willing to lace up my boots and fill the role I am about to fill. Any man would be in despair, but I didn’t quit. I don’t quit. And people are really going to give me shit for that?

This is all bigger grander story that is about to unfold. An epic that people will want to tell their children about. About the man who keeps getting knocked down only to pop back up and knock them back down as well. Because say what you want? Lars, you live in a world where numbers and statistics are the only stories you can tell. You count your wins and your losses, I focus on whom I’ve beat and loss to and the story doesn’t end there. And because of that, you’re a fuckin bore just like the rest of them. You have the charisma of a sack of potatoes that only a drunk depressed irish man can really get into. You don’t intimidate me, you don’t impress me, hell, you don’t even entertain me. And considering you look like a jacked up clown, that’s really just a shame. I mean, what is the point of a clown that doesn’t make me laugh. What is the point of a clown that doesn’t make me scared? Why are you even here? Oh, I know, to fill up space. After all, isn’t that what most people here are just for? Here I am, doing what I do best, market the Grand Rampage, and people can talk shit all about how loud I’m talking, but I get people’s attention. People are watching because of me, whether if its to see me win or see me fail, atleast I have that, Lars. Where guys like you are a dime a dozen and no one will even bat an eye for you. I don’t care about how big you are. I don’t care about how eloquently you speak. That is your parallel. You look like an idiot, and you don’t speak like one. La dee Fuckin’ dah. But you know what my parallel is? People don’t believe me when I say I’ll do something, but some how, some way, I make a believer out of them. Can you say you do that? Can you make me believe that Lars Grier is the threat to me? Because I’m right here, talking about you, but in reality, the thought of you is going so far to the back of my mind, to be lost and place in the “not worth remembering” portion of my brain. Because that is exactly what you are, Lars, a short term memory, and baby, I’m Moongoose McQueen. I going for long term memory, and better bet on McQueen that you and people will remember me. So go ahead, Lars, maybe instead of saying what everyone else is saying and getting lost in the crowd of faceless people whose name I don’t need to remember, because of how alike you all are, why don’t you really man up and say it. Repeat after me. “I, Lars Grier, will see to it, that Moongoose McQueen is eliminated from the Grand Rampage.” AND YOU KNOW WHAT? TRY ME. GO AHEAD! I’ll drop you so fast, you won’t realized you’ve been eliminated until you wake up in the locker room and you have to hear the bad news. “MOONGOOSE MCQUEEN KNOCKED YOU THE FUCK AND AND WON THE WHOOOLE….DAMN….THING!

So who else wants to take a shot at me? Because I’m not here to talk about people that won’t give me moments notice. Go ahead to talk among your brands our about yourselves. I don’t care, but no one here has had the balls to say they will come after my head. You all just assume someone will, but the sad truth is, no one is going to step up to the damn plate and do something about. Go ahead, ignore me. Underestimate me. In the end, you will all regret that decision in what will be the biggest upset of 2017.

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 1:25 pm by **Jamie O'Hara**

V.

You had nothing.

You crawled on your stomach, desperate and lonely.

You were nothing in this world.

The shell of the “Best In The World”, a lingering husk of a man that once stood mighty and proud for the world to be in awe of. A broken mess that no soul he passed would dare to give in the time of day to help mend his wounds. Your achilles heel was exposed, it was sliced and you fell. You limped back to your feet but you could only crawl, not run nor walk. You were emptiness in it’s purest form. You doubted yourself; you had never needed someone in the past, so what changed? Defeated. Stripped away was the confidence, the belief that you belonged in that highest echelon.The belief you drove yourself to near insanity to believe turned to be nothing more than a lie. The monster that dwelled was humbled and in his shame he cowered back into the depths; withering away as he saw no chance to feast - you never put him away.

No gold. No spotlight. No victory.

You had nothing.

And yet Xavier you still wish to tell this narrative that you somehow still had control over your fate. As if the transition, the night and day comparison, existed as an option, not the road you were forced to walk down barefooted. You would still be walking that road without me, your feet would be bloodied, scarred and burnt. Anomalies occur in this business, Xavier; even more so when cheap underhand tactics defined the result but I certainly digress. Scott Oasis defeated Brian Daniels and of all the people that man conquered in his history making reign, did losing to Scott make him seem any less of a legend? No, it most certainly didn’t. Should I remind you of falling to the feet of Thomas Minns? Anomalies are just a part of reality but they are rare enough to never truly be concerned; you and I have both suffered from such, we all suffer from them at one point or another. Again you use it as a reason, an example that I needed you...instead of you needing me. Find one image of the man you became in the dawn of the new season and continue to tell me that everything you changed, everything you thought you had to become was out of choice. Continue to tell me that a man stripped of every piece of flash, every ounce of familiarity of who he was mere weeks earlier didn’t scream that he had reached the lowest point of his career. But it doesn’t surprise me that you continue with such blind delusions. I said it the night and the week after I shattered your kneecap; the further I carried you, the more Xavier Williams of old began to return. More and more it became something less about us but more about you. By the time we challenged for those tag team championships you had all but returned to your former glory and despite how hard you tried to change your stripes, the tiger couldn’t. But to your credit, you most certainly played a role in the rebuilding of Jamie O’Hara. You helped deplenish that last remaining ounce of fuck I could give to someone like you; a career handicapped by his own ego and pride. You never cared about me, Xavier. Despite your best efforts to convince me that you saw me as a brother, you never truly did and it was evident merely weeks after I shook your hand and I took your cry for help. I was only a tool for you to use until you could launch yourself back to the World Championship. I’ve said it multiple times, I’ll likely say it again before the week is done; you wouldn’t have been able to play second fiddle to me. Maybe there was one point in the first moments that The Mighty Don’t Kneel existed that I thought you were a changed man but the moment I pinned you for that title shot, It was only going to be a matter of time until I felt the cold steel of a blade being plunged into my back. No matter how many times you try to change Xavier, you’re always going to return back to this scum-filled rat. You’re always going to return to being the man that cannot live without the attention of the world being on him.

The moment I drove my knee into your skull, I resurrected the monster and I couldn’t be any happier that I did. Now I get to do what Mr. DEDEDE couldn’t do, what nobody has ever been able to do.

And that is break it.

Make it bend to my will.

Because killing it - sooner rather than later - will end your career.

What did you achieve as champion, Xavier? See this isn’t about the break between drinks, it’s the fact that unlike you, when you had the EAW Championship ripped from your grasp - the championship you should never have lost - you got it back and it wasn’t fifteen months, was it? It wasn’t watching Vic and Aren get their “deserved” charitable reigns over you, it wasn’t watching blokes who have floundered for years doing nothing suddenly get a shot before you. You didn’t have to deal with fifteen months of swallowing bitter pill after bitter pill, did you? You went on to main event Pain For Pride, you had your name, your face across every billboard, hanging from every banner tied to a streetlight. I walked convention halls and the carpet was printed with you. When I ripped it from your grasp, you weren’t desperate to reclaim it; you were contempt with what you had achieved as champion. And no matter how high you climb again, no matter if you once again sink to that deathly low; you’re always going to have it. Jacob is no different in that regard. But I cannot feel that way and so you’re damn right this is a woe is me excuse because people endure all but a fraction, an absolute fraction of what I’ve gone through and people come out of the woodwork to whisper sweet nothings in their ears. You see it, you hear it all the time that someone “deserves” to be the World Champion. And each and every time that name mentioned isn’t mine; it hasn’t for fifteen fucking months. All I can do do Xavier, whether it’s too nauseating for you to listen to or not, is remind this world that fifteen months ago I had the EAW Championship stolen from my grasp and never got a fair go. Remind them that I held it for merely weeks. They all refer to me as a former World Champion and speak as if I stuffed my gut full enough of pride and glory as champion that i don’t deserve another chance to reign; that now it’s time for another to take their place on the throne and have their feast. When kings of mediocrity have more successful runs as champions then you do - when you, your opponents, the people who have told you “no” themselves believe you surpass them in every facet of this business - that tends to weigh heavily on your mind. But you never had to worry about that. You never had to worry about being an underachiever. You never had to worry about someone surpassing you because they were never going to fill the shoes you wore. You never had to fucking watch someone you knew couldn’t hold a candle to your name obtain everything you knew you could have achieved. BUT I DO AND I DID. IF I LOSE THIS? IF I CAN’T TAKE THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP THEN I’LL BE REMEMBERED AS NOTHING LESS THAN A FUCKING UNDERACHIEVER. Everything you said about me in your Hall of Fame speech got lost in the crowd of the same words, the same beliefs being thrown at me. Imagine, the person you and so many others think cannot achieve whatever he desires...not accomplishing an ounce of it? See, you left that throne with your career made; Jacob left his over two years ago no different. But again, I didn’t. And while it hasn’t been the years of struggle some say they’ve walked down, three years of being told near consistently that you belong in certain circles and having nothing to truly show for it, I’m starting see this as nothing more than a make or break. It’s that mentality, that this is it, this has to be it, while on one hand is a considerable flaw in my system - a fair chunk of armour missing from my metal suit - it’s the reason why those flames you spoke fondly of Xavier, as much as they may scorch my skin, will not devour me. It’s desperation unmatched; what do you have to lose Xavier? What is it that crumbles in the palms of your hands if you don’t walk out of this match victorious?

You said it yourself.

Nothing.

But I have everything to lose and everything to gain. It brings me closer to the edge of starvation than you will ever reach. And it’s going to be the ultimate difference between you being consumed by the flames of war, and me walking away with the world in the palms of my hands.

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 11:09 am by **Cailin Dillon**

Grand Rampage #3

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery or something like that. But this, this is not even emulation. I know what you think you’re doing, Alexis. I get what you think you are capable of doing and that you can copy me. That you can beat me by being me. But here’s a breaking news flash to you: you will never be me. You will always be what you are. In a way, there’s nothing wrong with that. You’ve done what you have in your career here and now you have a big moment on tap. This is your chance to punch your name in the history books and always be remembered as a champion. But it’s not going to happen. This isn’t about a toy or some weird sisterly battle for supremacy. This isn’t a family affair. I’m going to maim you and rip you apart without any regard for your safety. Our past doesn’t really mean much at this point. I have my eyes set on taking my title to sights not yet seen before. That’s the great part about the first-ever Women’s Champion. Everything I do is setting a new precedent. This is me setting the new standard for women’s wrestling in this company and in the world. If what I saw from you was you not holding back, then I have a great deal of confidence in my ability to absolutely destroy you in our match at Grand Rampage.

There’s something you need to understand. When you say you deserve this or you rightfully earned this, I have to laugh. You lost the match to earn this opportunity. Then that woman broke her freaking neck. Now here you are, winning an absolute clusterfuck-fest and you think it puts you in the right place to take me on one on one. You lucked your way into that win, I saw it. And then last week you tried to send me some sort of “message” by kicking me in the face. That’s the worst mistake you ever made in your career here. I thought you were supposed to be some tough, bad ass leader of a group called the Coven. All the power you should have at your fingertips and the ability to do literally whatever you want. But the message you delivered was completely out of character fro you. It came across more as a scared little girl that doesn’t know how to react to the opportunity she’s been handed. And then it transitioned into some warped little sister thing where you’re just trying to keep up with me, the big sister. You just don’t have it, though. All the talk and none of the action. You’re trying to do what I do and steal what I’ve done, but nothing you can do will ever compare. We aren’t the same. Not even close. I’m a battle-tested warrior that fights to my last god damned breath. I’m a fighter that doesn’t care about the well-being of my opponents. I care about winning, and that’s it. There’s a reason I became the queen of Empire. It’s because I fought for it. It’s because I took it without any care in the damn world. Just look at my track record and try to tell me where you just suddenly slot in and change it all. This match isn’t about your destiny to finally reach a place you’ve wanted to reach all along. This match is about me showing you that you just don’t have it. You aren’t ready for this. But don’t worry, I’ll give you the same treatment I give every single person I fight. If you aren’t ready for this level of intensity, and you won’t be, you’ll only have yourself to blame.

I didn’t just trip overnight and land myself at the top of this mountain. I’ve climbed from the start. I had to do this the hard way. You won one match. Think about that. I’m so much more prepared for this moment than you ever will be. You have a motivation to stand beside me? Well, that’s cute. I’ll always be standing above you. I’ll always be walking day and night with this title on my shoulder and stomping on every night lily that blooms in my path. Is it personal? Hell yes it is. Because you think you’re good enough to walk in here and take this title from me. I’m here to remind you that you aren’t. I’m not going to be the type to stand over here and tell you that you have no talent. If anything, it’s impressive the way you managed to stick around after all of this time. I mean, you were terrible at one point. And then you came back around and made a little noise with that pussy posse behind you. That’s pretty valiant in a way that you never gave up. But you know who never gave up despite losing so much more? Me. I was supposed to be dead in the water after Grand Rampage last year. It might have been the most shocking moment in the show. And then the whispers continued for months after. What’s wrong with Cailin? I heard them, but they didn’t resonate. I was in the gym rebuilding the version of me that had opened eyes in this company with a strong run that defined a complete title. I was making that version of me even freaking better. And I’ve never stopped adding a little element here and there. I’ve never stopped evolving. And what you’re getting isn’t just little Cailin Dillon from Texas. You’re getting Slaylin the destroyer. Maybe you’ve opened some eyes with your performance lately, but they’re still only half open to what you are and what you could become. After this match, they’ll close again and you and the entire Coven can scurry off back to the Sanatorium and start making up the sack lunches for the boys while you wait for your next chance at bringing your brand of darkness into the spotlight. This is not your time, baby girl. My time is not up.

Greatness is not something achieved easily. You’re sitting there right now, nervously giddy with excitement and already making your plans. You’re already telling your friends and family exactly what you’re going to do as the women’s champion. You’re wasting your time. You should be planning your concession speech after I beat the hope right out of you in that ring. That is my ring after all. Maybe Grand Rampage was my lowest of lows last year, but it’s going to be one of the highlights of my year this time around. Don’t make promises to me that you can’t keep. You’ll soon learn how big of a mistake you’re making. You will soon learn just what it’s like to be in the ring with the best in this company. You think some of those “main event” level matches you’ve been in lately have put you in a new class? It means nothing when you can’t do it on the biggest stages of all. That’s where we clearly separate here. I’ve proven what I can do when it’s all on the line. You’ve got a long way to go and have a shit ton to prove in that regard. Unfortunately, you might never get the chance to prove it. For all the motivation you have to win this and stake your claim as being among the best, my motivations completely overshadow and outweigh yours. That’s why I will crush you this weekend. I will crush you under the pressure you’ve placed over your own head. I will break you with my kicks that have laid so many to rest. And if need be, I will tear you limb from limb with the move that’s made so many legends in this company give up. This isn’t a game to me and this title isn’t a toy. You can compare yourself to some delicate flower and you can spin your uncharacteristic messages and try to become someone you aren’t, but in the end, nothing will change for you. You’ll still be the girl trying to lead her band of misfits into real prominence and I will still be the champion that you couldn’t touch. You’re just gonna have to take your seat back at the very back of the line and hope the next time you come around with a big chance like this you don’t have to face me. That might be your only hope for the next time.

I understand your dreams and I know why you feel this need to win the title. I get it. You’ve wanted to be in this spotlight for a long time. But the light is crowded. It doesn’t just shine on me. It shines on a few others hanging around, too. If you want to be the best, you have to be able to beat the best. And you won’t be able to do that this weekend. It’s going to be a pleasure to show you what it means to fight at the top level, Alexis, but this experience only ends in tears and heartbreak for you. For me, it’s just another day as the Women’s Champion. This is what I do, my dear. This is how I was created. The only thing I know how to do is fight to win and I won’t stop until I’m dead. Are you gonna kill me? Pfft, not a chance. You can bring it with your best shot, but we both know how this match ends. At least you’ll be a footnote to history as one of the many successful title defenses by the very first Women’s Champion in EAW history. At least you can say you were there. That’s about all you’ll be able to say about this one.

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 10:03 am by **Lars Grier**

GRAND RAMPAGE PROMO #2

“My, my, how much fun this has been already. Who would have ever see so much filth and scum in one professional wrestling ring? No matter. It’s just funny to see all of you bickering with one another, while I just sit here, and stoke the flames of this madness. You all battle with one another. Rex is too focused on complimenting and encouraging his opponents when he should be attacking them, and pointing out their faults. Moongoose and Ryan are as deluded as ever, since Moongoose actually believes he can win from his position, and Ryan Marx still continues with his God complex. Nasir Moore is being told fraudulent truths and red herrings by an old witch. Chris Elite? He’s still failing, falling everyday like he always does. Lucas Johnson, Mark Michaels, Jon McAdams, Mike Showman? Basking in the glory of themselves, because their ego is bloated to the point that there’s no turning point for them. Zack Crash and Solomon Caine are as crazy and insane as ever, talking to imaginary tutors and gods that don’t exist. Really, I could go on all day. I could sit here, right in this room, and talk about each and everyone’s faults and mistakes, but really, who wants to listen to some rambling, big, buff man who obviously does not tell the truth! And if you’re a person who thinks of that, I’m not mad at you. Really, who would listen to me? Nobody, I presume. Even if I tell the truth about everyone in this match, the truth about who is to win, the truth about this world, you wouldn’t listen. I’m not mad. You’re all just idiotic sheep, anyway. I don’t blame any of you! After all, you were all born with unprecedented levels of stupidity. I speak the truth, my friends. I’m WARNING you that I will win the match, and that none of you should get your hopes up, and yet you insist that either Pizza Boy or TLA would win this match. this Grand Rampage. Yet, you stay ignorant as ever. That’s how the mindless sheep go, don’t they? They follow their shepherds to the ends of the earth, to wherever the shepherd goes. Even when it is perfectly clear that something bad will happen to your hero, or when it is for certain they will lose, you still cheer. Mindless, blind sheep. That’s what you all are. Blind sheep that can’t see the reality that is simply, me winning the Grand Rampage. It’s crystal clear, yet you choose to ignore it. You deny the truth because you don’t like change, because you don’t accept me as a winner. And you know what? I don’t care. Really, I don’t. It just makes my victory all the more sweeter once you realise it. That’s the beauty of my strategy, you see? Stay behind and wait, picking up the scraps that have been left. For now, you can be pathetic, worthless sheep, but know that when I win, don’t say I didn’t warn any of you.”

“Mongoose….McQueen. Wow, you must be having a terrible week, I presume. Taking another loss, and realising that this week you enter in this Grand Rampage match as Number 1. How unfortunate, Moongoose. I would feel pity for you, but that would mean that I would be lowering guard, and in this match? Lowering your defences is NOT an option. But really……why should I be worried about you? You, the man who has been on a losing streak for nearly his entire career? You, the man who has been put up as the mercenary of Sebastian Monroe, has lost in multiple occasions to soooo many different competitors that I’ve lost tracked ? You, the man who ate a pin from TLA which put him in the number one spot? I am really wondering why I am to be afraid of you, when you yourself are thinking you can actually win this match. Really? You think you can actually outlast twenty-nine other men from your spot? My god! People, I think we found someone more delusional than Ryan Marx! Everyone, give Moongoose a big round of applause for achieving the award of “Most Deluded”! Yes, I joke, but really you are delusional, McQueen. You’re delusional if you really think that you can beat twenty-nine other men, win this match, when you can’t even beat Finnegan Wakefield. Finnegan Wakefield! By far one of the weakest, most inadequate Elitist to have ever stepped up to EAW, and you loss to him. That tells everything about you, Moongoose. You are simply nothing more than just a mercenary who can’t do his job, and a deluded competitor who thinks he can withstand those insurmountable odds. People call me a failure, but you? You’re just me, but put upon a grander stage. You’ve embarrassed yourself against Xavier Williams, against Jamie O’Hara, against Lucian Black, against nearly everyone on the Dynasty roster! I tell the truth, but if you fail to listen, don’t put the blame on anyone but yourself, McQueen. Rest assured, Grand Rampage will be a very unfortunate and detrimental night for you, Moongoose.”

“Speaking of Finnegan, hello again, weakling. I see you’ve undergone quite the change since we last met. You’ve found a little friend, Kelly Hackenschmidt, a man I have also encountered before. When was the last time we met each other? Oh that’s right, the EAW Awards Show! Yes, the one in which you came so close to winning, Finnegan, but ultimately couldn’t get the job done. What a shame. Kelly? You weren’t even remembered in that match. Ever since that streak of hope, none of you have done much, haven’t you two? Sure, you cretins formed a tag team, but it’s been flatlined ever since it started. Mediocre at best, and the only highlight was when the High Rollerz threw you onto a glass table. Oh, how glorious that was to watch! Wakefield, since coming here to EAW, you have done nothing else other than to show to all of us that you’re inexperienced, lacking, and complete and utter useless. You even lost to Mark Michaels! Him! The man who cares more about his hairstyle rather than wrestling beat you, the trained, much more aggressive Finnegan Wakefield! Truly a travesty for you. And you, Kelly? You’ve been here longer than me, won more matches than me, yet I’ve been given twice the amount of opportunities in two months than you in your ENTIRE career. Does that not say something about the difference in hierarchy between us? I usually don’t brag, but here’s me, a potential main-eventer and champion, and then you two, barely scraping the roof past the mid card. There is a LARGE difference between us, my friends. And you two? You’re on the wrong side of it.”

“As worthless as you two are, nobody comes close to the absolute scum of this earth, that is Mark Michaels, Lucas Johnson, and Mike Showman. Oh, how much I hate you arrogant, egotistical pigs who think the world revolves around them. You cannot understand how much I DESPISE people like you three. You worthless, lifeless pigs who only live because of their lust for likes, comments, and favourites. That’s what personalities like you want, but you know what you need? Those likes, comments, and favourites shoved right up your asshole! I hate to be so blunt, but in times like these using blunt, brute force is the only way to get through the thick skulls of these apes. I’m generalising you lot because you all are truly just the same personality. Arrogant, disrespectful, egotistical, narcissistic pigs who continue to function for their sole purpose, which is to build their already bloated ego. Mark? The most plausible theory of why you are still in this company is because you give it publicity. But aside from that? You’re as useless as Finnegan Wakefield or any of the bottom-feeders down the totem pole of EAW. You’re too focused on media, Michaels. It’s why you never win anything meaningful. You’ve been told that a hundred times before, and yet you remain ignorant. Not a problem. The world can handle another social media pig. And now there’s Lucas Johnson. Oh dear nurse. Please, PLEASE stop rambling, ranting, and bragging, Lucas! Everytime you speak a child dies in his slumber because of mental retardation caused by you! How could the beautiful, prestigious of New Breed title go from Jamie O’Hara to the obnoxious offspring of King Kong? Lucas, I will simply just say what everybody has thought about you ever since you have arrived here. You, Lucas Johnson, are a JOKE of a competitor. You don’t deserve that title, your wins, your career. You don’t even deserve to step even a FOOT into this company, Lucas. Even Cody Marshall deserved that New Breed title, Lucas. You? You are a disgrace to professional wrestling, and the human race as a whole. Have your fun right now, dancing in the blazes of your title, but be wary, Lucas. Come Grand Rampage, if we meet each other, be scared. Be afraid, Lucas. Be afraid when I grab your legs, your arms, your neck…..SNAP IT. Then when you’re eliminated, know that as long as I exist? You are NEVER safe. And of course, how could I forget the People with Class! Yes, the bottom of the barrell right here in showcase for this year’s Grand Rampage! How sad you pathetic fish are. Deluded with ideas and lines of grandeur, believing themselves to be something more than what they actually represent. Showman, you’re really just like the rest of these arrogant pricks. You show-off, brag, complain and whine. Disgusting and pathetic is just the bare minimum of what I could describe you. McAdams? At the very least, you at least have some sort of foundation within you. You’re a former Hardcore champion, and you beat Eclipse Diemos, one of the best in this industry. Truly a feat to note, but why note something that’s been tainted? You won a championship, yes, after cheated and preyed on a vulnerable, weaker Drastik. Eclipse Diemos? You beat him, but only because you had a little distraction. That alone simply makes you nothing more than a shrivelled up, little boy. You were never ready to defend your title, let alone win it. You didn’t even have the insides to stay and battle Eclipse without capitalising on a distraction, McAdams. Such a tainted, disgusting, filthy tag team. It’s why the tag division is in the state it’s in, because trash like you roam it. You haven’t been successful, and you’ve been here for god knows how long, and yet you haven’t even gotten a tag title. How unfortunate. You can’t even get an opportunity for the tag titles, so how can either of you win the Grand Rampage? Oh, you delusional kids.”

“So many faces, so many new encounters that could happen, including one Nathan Fiora. Intriguing indeed. Unlike everyone in this match, you have a very different motive for your desire to win this match. You’re devoting your victory in the Grand Rampage for your deceased sister. You said she died a horrible death, that she was the only one who gave you light in your life, the one who actually cared about you. Truly, a heartfelt and possibly heartbreaking story, Nathan, but I beg to ask: “Who cares?” Yes, you heard me. Who cares about your sister? Who cares about her death aside from you, Fiora? Harsh, but it is a clarifying one. I am pondering on why you care, Nathan. Thousands of people die each day, each having a family, friends, someone they care about. Why is your sister special? There are kids in this world just like your sister, with a brother and a passion, dying each day. Why dedicate this to your nobody sister? Call me heartless, but really none of us are good people. We’re the cause for all wrong in this world, we have evil inside of us. Why shun away from it? It’s just who we are. Do you think that dedicating a victory to your sister will help you in some shape or form? Do you think it will give you divine, holy powers that will help you win this match? So many questions, yet so little answers, Nathan. You do realise that because you do this, you leave a gigantic burden over your shoulder, yes? You have this big responsibility to fulfill, and have you ever thought about what happens when you fail? No? I guess you didn’t think that through, did you? No matter. At the very least, I shall warn you, Nathan. Grand Rampage is not where you fulfill your sister’s wishes. No, but rather where you break her heart, as soon as you are eliminated. You shall desecrate and destroy her legacy, losing, because you couldn’t get your job done. Fiora Fire? No…..Fiora FAILURE.”

“Nasir Moore? My, my, what have you become? Has the underdog gone so deep down that he now has to rely on a fortune teller? How far you’ve gone, Nasir. How far you’ve gone. I’ll keep this short and to the point, Moore. Don’t heed Hamasa. She is a raggedy, old, filthy rag that deserves to be put down before she can infect anyone else with her lies. Don’t believe me? She’s associated with DEDEDE, Nasir. One of the most opportunistic, backstabbing, malicious men to have ever entered this company, and you are listening to his speaker. Hamasa tells lies, Nasir. Don’t listen, unless you want to be blinded just like Ryan Marx. Or maybe you do wish to be blind? Either way, you’re not going anywhere with this old witch. The only way for you to go is over the top rope, and onto the floor, all because you gave an ear to the old bitch. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Ah, here we are. Rex McAllister. I still hate you, Rex. I hate you with a burning hatred, not for jealousy, but simply because…..you. I hate you to the point that I nitpick and complain about your hair, your clothing, the way you talk, move, breathe. Hatred that I used last week on Showdown, yet you still survived. Albeit with the help of Marx, but you survived nonetheless. And you know what? I’m going to tell you something that I rarely tell ANYONE. Rex, I…...I respect you. Yeah, you heard it. We all did. I respect you, Rex. “What?! How could this be?!” is what I perceive most of you thinking right now, but really, as much as I hate to admit it, I respect you, McAllister. I still despise you, don’t get me wrong, but you? You are a fighter. You fight to get what you want, and I respect that, thus I respect you. You have earned it, now take it and do whatever you wish with it. Brag about how you earned my respect, or you could keep it locked away, hidden forever. Whatever. I don’t mind. I still hate you, Rex, but when we enter this Grand Rampage match, we meet as competitors with mutual understanding of one another. Know, Rex, that when we meet, I won’t hold back. Ryan Marx may have helped you before, but in the Grand Rampage? He can backstab you at any time. He won’t be here to save you this time, Rex. Grand Rampage is my playground, and you are in it. You’ll be playing my games, and although I respect you, heed my warning. I WILL win this Grand Rampage, bring the victory to Showdown, simply because I want it more than any of you, including you, Rex. No cheating, no backstabbing, no double-teaming. Just you, me, and a one-way ticket to Pain for Pride. Good luck, Rex, You’ll run out of it soon, after all.”

“Last, and certainly the least, Ryan Marx. What? You thought I wasn’t going to talk about you, my old friend? No, no, no….if you think I was done after King of Elite and last week, you are VERY wrong. Normally, I hate to point this out and complain, but you shouldn’t be staking claim for ending my battle royal streak, Ryan. You had the assistance of Rex McAllister, double-teaming up on me to eliminate me, so don’t try to paint it as you, the big, bad, macho man eliminating the biggest threat in that entire matchup. And quite frankly, I didn't even care about my battle royal streak. Me? Being a “battle royal specialist?” That was just a little, stupid joke that Murrow created so that he would have an excuse to put me in ANOTHER battle royal. I’m sure he got a kick out of that. Still deluded, insane as ever, Ryan. Still trying to reach out and grab the sun that he oh so wishes to receive in the palm of his hands. Are your cult followers pushing you, Ryan? Are they telling you that you are the biggest star in EAW, that you are the future of this business? Of course, they spread lies. I wouldn’t expect anything less from your cult, Marx. Under the wing of the Emperor of Frauds, of course you are told fraudulent truths. At this point, I don’t think there’s a return point for you, Marx. You’re too far gone the rabbit hole, you won’t be able to get out. Really, how did it all fall apart? You, Ryan, were once a bright, young, intelligent student at a university in England. Then, you came into this business, started twisting and twisting and twisting those lies in your head told you by an old, weathered man. You started creating the Five Pillars, a strange, odd philosophy and cult, Yet there was still a shred of humanity left. But now? Now you’re just…. a shell. A shell of what a human is supposed to be. Gods? Divine beings? You’re talking about topics and subjects that nobody even begins to speak about, because they know it doesn’t work. But yet, you insist. You push, and push, and push, claiming that you are something far greater than any mortal being. No, you are simply a god, a higher power set to change the landscape of this world! Hearing that, my breath failed me. You think you’re evolving, Marx? No….what we all see is the de-evolution of the once, proud human race. When you see yourself in a mirror, you think that you are greater than anybody that could ever imagine, but what I see? What everyone else see? All we see, is the triumph of idiocy in this planet. Yet…..maybe you’re right. Maybe you are my anti-venom, the one who gets the better of me every time. Maybe, but who’s to say that can’t change? Who’s to say that I can’t improve, get better, and finally gain a victory over you? After all, third time’s the charm, right? Heh. The fact of the matter is, is this, Ryan. You? You go ahead and talk to your followers, tell them stories about how great you are, how you’re going to transcend above humanity, telling them lies, while I stay here, get better, stronger, faster, so that I can win this match. Everyone has their limits, Ryan. Sooner or later, you’ll meet it, and because of your idiocy and fraudulent life, you won’t get past your limit because you’ll be busy trying to figure out what went wrong, while I? I BREAK my limit, and get even better. I want this victory, maybe almost as much as you want to be a god. But at least with me, I can reach my goal, Ryan. You can go ahead and reach for the sun. I’ll have the satisfaction of watching you BURN in hell, you miserable wretch.”

GRAND RAMPAGE = PRELUDE TO DESTRUCTION

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 9:12 am by **Keelan**

XXXIII.

The Bitter End

Ahren, Ahren, Ahren.

You know pal, you do truly make me laugh a lot. I find myself chuckling whenever I listen to the things you say. Oh, hold on, no I’m not laughing with you buddy I’m laughing at you. I find myself laughing at your childish attempts at insults, your juvenile efforts of getting into my head and your immature way of explaining why you are such a great person and a great champion. This is your shtick though, right? Your lingo? I mean, this is what got you that Hardcore Championship after all these months, yeah? I find it quite hilarious that you are the one calling me a prepubescent little girl when this is literally how you act each and every single fucking day. I straight up called you a teenaged schoolgirl just yesterday and yet you come around and call me a prepubescent little girl. And you’re calling me out for using that rollercoaster analogy you used the other week or whatever. You may be the Hardcore Champion right now Ahren, but like I said before, your short, pathetic reign with the title ends at Grand Rampage. Yeah, I have failed a number of times with opportunities that have come my way, but it’s all part of the journey. There never has been a wrestler that had won every single opportunity he had placed in front of him - not even the greatest wrestlers of all time. I have no accomplishments to my name? How about winning Rising Star of the week twice? To you that may sound a little pathetic, but to me it shows the entire world that my efforts are being noticed and rewarded. How about ending the career of Kenny Drake? Honestly, the shit I had to deal with for those couple of months was hell but ending his career is definitely an achievement worth noting. I apologize that the only accomplishments you see worthwhile are championship reigns. I apologize that I was feuding against a stable for so long as well I guess. While I was fighting personal demons and kicking the ass of Wolvesden, what were you doing? Just hanging out I guess. Again, caught in the shuffle. Not moving up in your career, not moving down. Just stuck in this idle position. But you luckily found yourself coming out of it and all of a sudden you became the new Hardcore Champion. Well again, kudos to you! You more than earned that title for sure! You said that my head is so far up my ass, but what about you Ahren? To be honest I think you’re riding this wave of momentum and it’s very quickly coming to its bitter end.

You want to talk about results well then let’s go that direction, shall we? Sure, I have come up short in all TWO championship opportunities that I have had – the Hardcore Title match against Nathan Fiora that I lost because Marco Fedor accidentally pushed me off of a ladder into a truck full of shattered glass, and then the number one contender’s match against one of the greatest EAW Champions of all time in Aren Mstislav, and a former world champion and Hall of Famer here in EAW in Drastik, who by the way won. Sure, I lost both times. I came up short in the Triple Threat I admit that, and I had unlucky timing in the Hardcore Title match. What did I prove in the leadup to that Hardcore Title match though? I proved that I belonged in that match because I had defeated six of some of the best Voltage superstars at the time all in the same night to reach that opportunity. And did Aren and Drastik beat the shit out of me in that Triple Threat? Nope. I gave them a fight and a tough one at that. I gave them just about everything I had and I proved to the world that while yes, I have only had a handful of matches this year, I can still hang with some of the best EAW has to offer! I’ve verified that I am next level, and this is what I’ve been trying to prove to everybody since I returned to the wrestling ring after coming out of retirement. Since ending Kenny Drake’s career, the fans have been behind me even more than they were because they know that everything I was saying to them was nothing but the truth. I still belong here in wrestling, and I damn sure belong in this championship match. So if I can take a beating from Wolvesden all at once, falling off of a 20 foot ladder through the announce table and wrestling in an almost hour long fight on ONE FUCKING knee and STILL come out the winner in that 3 Stages of Hell match over a month ago, then you should know for damn sure Ahren that I would be willing to do that all over again in my match with you at Grand Rampage. Because despite where I might be in a match, I’m a guy that will never give up in big match situations such as this one. This time there will be no distractions from anybody else. This time there will be no stables to come out and beat me down. This time I will be wrestling with two healthy knees. The time for all of that bullshit is now finally over, and the time for me to reign as the Hardcore Champion can now begin! But as for you Ahren, you’ve defeated two guys so far in YOUR reign as champion. Have those two guys even come close to being at the level I have earned to be on? No sir. I don’t want to have to remind you again Ahren that the guy you’re about to step inside the ring with this weekend is going to be like nobody you have faced off with before. I promise you that much.

I would like to think the reason that I am on this new level right now is because I took the time off to really think about where I was at in my career at that point. No Ahren, I wasn’t injured. To be perfectly honest, I don’t even know where you got that information from. I took the time off, which I’ve stated clearly in the past, to redesign a plan to come back stronger and better than ever. I changed up my mentality, I changed up my physical training, and I came back with fucking vengeance on my mind. The kid that I wanted to take under my wing to really bring that potential I knew he had in him out turned his back on me. He betrayed me. But the vengeance wasn’t for him; it was for the man that turned him into his own personal lackey and had me hung up in the rafters, and tried to leave me to rot and decay away. I didn’t face a guy that was on his way out … I AM the fucking reason he isn’t here in this place anymore. I’m the reason Wolvesden are nowhere to be found. I overcame such great, incredible odds in that Kenny Drake match all because of this new mentality I have, and I plan to use the same mentality against you Ahren. Because no matter how many times you beat me down, I am going to just keep coming right back up. No matter how many times you hit me with a weapon, I am going to just keep coming right back up. I refuse to stay down, because staying down has such shitty views. The view I want is to be standing over your beaten-up body with the Hardcore Title in the air, looking out into the endless sea of people cheering me on, because they know that I am the champion that they want. Ahren, hardcore isn’t your world and just holding the championship doesn’t make it so. No matter how much you want to try to admit it, it is far from your world. I grew up in this environment, in this setting. The dark side within me comes out when I find myself in this situation. So, keep bragging that this is your world and that you are the champion of hardcore because you will see just how much you fucking own of this world when you face me.

You need to stop being so fucking insincere about everything. The things you are trying to spin against me work just as much for you as it does for me. And hey, you said that about me as well! Perhaps you have been wrestling most weeks but why are you saying that is the reason you’re the champ right now? Didn’t you just say previously that the reason you’re the champion is because you bitched and “self-promoted” your way to that opportunity, because you were tired of staying idle all the time? You’re talking about my ego? You’ve got an ego bigger than your forehead, buddy. That is the reason I said you don’t deserve to be holding that title, not because of the fact that you’ve lost matches. But for whatever reason you think that holding this title allows you to brag about your success, regardless of this fact. Don’t forget you took the easy way out to get that title, Ahren. You even admitted you didn’t earn it. I would love nothing more than to be out there wrestling each and every single Sunday on Voltage too, but I don’t have any creative control unfortunately. I just go where I’m told to go and do what I’m told to do. As soon as I win that championship though, you are going to see me each and every single week in that ring wrestling. Hell, I’ll even defend the damn title every week by throwing out open challenges – I would not mind either way. But hey, amazing stuff on you wrestling every week since July last year! Congratulations on grabbing more losses than wins in that timespan, my dude! Don’t start shooting me advice either because while you believe in that little brain of yours that I am not fit to be holding that title, you are about as mentally retarded as you act and you SERIOUSLY should not be fit to be holding it. Jokes aside though, you’re actually right. It is about how long you can stay there and not about how quick you can get there, and since my return I’ve been staying at this next level that I am on for a decent amount of time and I have no signs of coming back down ever again! You’re saying that your brief few weeks as champion is making your career look better than mine? I’m not even going to mention how you got that title this time, because quite frankly I am quite over repeating myself. You are contradicting yourself with the absolute trash you’re spewing out at me right now. Do you eat toilet paper to wipe out all the shit that’s drooling out of your mouth, boy? It is honestly about time for somebody to kick your damn head in, and I am looking forward to being the one to do just that. This weekend we are both going to be competing in front of 90,000 strong, and when you realize that you aren’t just fighting me, but you’ll be fighting against 90,000 fans screaming my name and shitting on yours, that is when you will find out that perhaps the easy way you took to attaining that title was probably a bad idea. You’re not just a fake champion, you’re a fake guy and I cannot wait to expose you for the fraud that you are at Grand Rampage X! This will be your bitter end, mother fucker!

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 9:09 am by **Xavier Williams.**

The monster you created.

That's a constant fable that I've been forced to listen to Jamie. It wasn't through my own grit and determination that created everything that pumps through this black heart, it was the hand of someone else. That was the story behind Reasonable Doubt over a year ago. I found myself standing in front of the man who shall not be named’s home country with the chance to kick down the doors of the Hall of Fame looming in front of me. But, the story wasn't Xavier Williams against that man. It was that man against the monster he created. It was that man trying to do something that he never could in front of those that loved him the most - but, like the story were walking through together now, Jamie, the ending was no different. The monster devouring the “creator”. This is Xavier Williams in his truest form. This is a Xavier Williams that has conquered everything standing his way long before you had even taken your first steps through the doors of Elite Answers Wrestling. The difference is, I tucked it away for the most part. It was this monster that walked into the first War Games and handed Zack Crash this company on a silver platter. It was this monster that slaughtered Starr Stan a mere week before his triumphant retirement at Pain for Pride. It was this monster that walked into Pain for Pride against the Chairman of the Board to rip back the EAW Championship he never should have lost. This monster wasn't created by a hand of another. It credit doesn't fall into the hand of our old friend. It doesn't fall into your hands. It doesn't fall into DEDEDE’s. It doesn't fall into Jacob’s. I'm it's creator. I'm it's ruler. But, I understand where your idea comes from. I put it away after Pain for Pride. I lowered myself down to your level and I walked your road. I gave you a spotlight and I made you feel more special than you had for months. I made you believe in yourself again, Jamie. You were filled with confidence after that victory over Cameron, but I brought that loss against Nasir Moore not because it was a pointless jab to get under your skin. I brought it up because it was proof that even after the small amount of success that made you believe that you could once again conquer the world, you were still no different to the man that couldn't find his footing for months. Does that sound like a man that could have carried Xavier Williams? I certainly don't think so. I mean, Jamie, it wasn't until the two of us found ourselves standing next to each other before you started conquering names with some form of worth. Together we beat the EAW Champion; together we beat Nasir Moore - two men that you fallen at the feet of within a matter of months. It wasn't until you accepted to hold my hand that things started to take a turn for the better in the career of Jamie O’Hara. I gave you confidence. I picked you up. I gave you a pedestal to stand on. I did that good of a job, Jamie that I built you up enough to where you kneed me in the head and managed to do what no other person had done in months. I could sit here and talk about the knife that was driven into my spine after all of that, but at this stage, the conversation is far past that point. Do you remember the words that I said about you during my Hall of Fame speech, Jamie? I said that there was nothing that you couldn’t achieve. I said that if there was a true freak when it came to describing someone in this business - it was you. Through all of this; through everything that we’ve done to each. Through the tortures, the success - the good and the bad - I’ve never once doubted what you could do. You talk about confidence - which is evident to say that all of three of us are. All three of us wholeheartedly believe that we’re walking out of Grand Rampage with that World Heavyweight Championship. Truthfully, through all of this bravado and pride, I expected to feel a little… different. I expected to feel the excitement of it all. You speak about the fifteen months that you’ve been without a World Championship resting on your shoulder, but I’ve gone without longer. This certainly that kind of “woe is me” excuse. It just something that’s came to light. How long has it been? About Eighteen months to the day. It surprising; time as passed us so fast that I haven’t particularly taken notice of my time not sitting on the throne that I once called home. I’ve thought about the pressure. I’ve thought about the possibility of being forced to taste the failure of not being able to grasp onto something that I want in the span of only just over a month. Most people would feel the pressure; the weight of it all resting on their shoulders - but, I feel nothing. I don’t feel the pressure. I don’t have any form of nerves or butterflies fluttering around in my stomach. That could just come down to attempts of being edgy and cool, because at this point, I’ve definitely proven that I hope that the rest of the world sees Xavier Williams as the coolest cucumber in the bunch. At this point, hopefully they’ll just start calling me the man that shall not be named, because that would certainly make my day. You see, while Jacob stands there huffing and puffing about his time as champion and what he believes makes a World Champion, and Jamie focuses on that need to be champion and the weight of failure that he’s been forced to carry over the last fifteen months. I walk into this match clear minded. I’m not worried. I’m not bothered. I’m feeling better than I ever have. One thing is certain; this is going to be a war that none of us have ever been forced to walk through. Flames will burn higher than the three of us have ever experienced. Our eyes set on that illustrious crown and the throne that we all crave to call our own. I’ll walk through it all, and I know that I’ll walk back out on the other side. No amount of confidence. No Destiny. Nothing is going to stop me from taking what should have been mine at Reckless Wiring. Once that happens, I’ll make sure to go grab a coffee with Sebastian and talk about how great of an investment the new World Heavyweight Champion was.

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 8:05 am by **Rex32**

Grand Rampage Promo # 7

"Nothing Is Promised"

If there is one thing everyone can take away from this, it's that there is no such thing as weak of heart, because everyone in this match has shown they aren't that. Each and every performer at one point or another has exhibited the type of competitive drive, and consistent performance week in and week out, and can be depended upon to put up a good fight until the end. It's fitting to call this event Grand Rampage, because it's really going to be a like raging bulls heading straight for each other with their heads down and their horns out on a collision course, and ready to butt heads with each other in that ring. Everyone is a target of somebody out there, and some have multiple obstacles to deal with at once in that ring. I wouldn't dare say these are the biggest obstacles we will face in our careers, but it's right up there which is the fun part. Many will say this is right up their alley, and others will say they've run roughshod oer in other promotions in environments just like this, and yet is that truly what will define somebody as the winner? Will all this madness really lead somewhere for those that dare to argue their case? All thirty of us will believe that until we speak our last words, and that's the reality of it. Anybody participating in this event earned the right, because "A" they have skills, and the know-how to win such an event. It's crazy that an event like this can really have those one, two, or three people that everyone believes will prevail no matter what. The resignation my mind was in the other day has since lapsed, because when I think about it, all that pressure? It's not on me, not as it is for those that are expected to do big things, because they are favored to win. Those favored to win have to try and stay in the moment without thinking ahead, but they know they shouldn't because you can't win anything that way. That's not winning, if it is in their minds, to think ahead assuming they have a Pain For Pride spot all locked up? That's not a win, because if they put all that pressure on themselves to succeed they will only find themselves with some loss of dignity, and left to cloak their disappointment behind their excessive pride and ego. That's the kind of pressure I'm glad I don't have to deal with. You want to write me off? I say go for it, but make sure you can walk what you talk in the end.

Ryan, I have the feeling we will see each other again fighting to the very end, and I gotta say, that truly does motivate me to make it to end when that number thirty entrant comes. You have it partly right based on your most recent comments, and I do agree. Quality over quantity is a recipe for success, and you have the wins over myself and countless others to prove that it is, but this is not any ordinary match, Ryan. In fact, this is well beyond anything you faced this past Saturday, but I'm guessing that goes without saying. Having experience is a plus, because with it I have this keen understanding of what it takes to get the job done. You might believe quality over quantity, but I believe in both as being a recipe in a match like this. Unfortunately, I'm not out to beat just you and six others week, but more like twenty eight others, so if I don't give you my undivided attention every time you speak to or about me, try not to hold against me, will ya? We're all here for a reason, Ryan, so you aren't exactly alone in faith you put in your abilities to come away with the win this weekend. You can speak as if still completely aloof to you, but you still got to try and keep up this week if you want the win, and trust me, that's not from experience, that's just a simple known fact about this type of match.

It's like Shakespeare said, Pizza Boy, it's not the stars for which hold our destiny, but in ourselves. You are so determined to get back to Lannister, and it's completely understandable from my point of view. Since the calendar year changed you've been at it, trying to scratch and claw your way back toward that Answer's World Championship that was taken from you. When you don't succeed at first, then get back up and try again. It's admirable to look beyond the gold as you are, and straight focused on winning here and then taking Lannister down, because it shows truly what kind of character you choose to embody in this company. It's never easy to become the paragon, be up to a certain standard that pleases everyone, because nobody will ever please everyone. To me, it's simply going out and constantly displaying the meaning behind the words of wisdom you speak with.

TLA, I can appreciate that you can be reminiscent over past wins, they are good to look back to, but they don't always tie to future ones, or vice versa, or else I may be still just a New Breed Champion and you may be still Interwire, for example. Last season when you returned and received that immediate recognition and respect, and I was a bit bitter about it, to say the least. My attitude is different due to my experiences. I realize now that respect earns you recognition. But it's good that you're preparing for the Grand day when we get in that ring. I'm looking forward to it because Lord knows I wouldn't be where I am without the number of times of being pushed to my limits this season. See ya soon, TLA.

As the time draws closer, the feeling of anticipation overcomes me. The idea of testing myself, my awareness, my endurance, my instincts in that ring. It all makes a bit of a difference in a match like this, but it stil promises you nothing, and that's the only thing I should look forward to. In the end we'll just have to see what my aspirations have in store, that's stil something to look forward to.

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 6:43 am by **Ahren Fournier**

(Ahren can be seen in front of a local bar that caters specifically to Australians)

Ahren: So to get a better understanding of who you are Keelan, I came to this here Australian bar... Or as I think you people call it, pub. The Brittish call it that, and what are Australians but the poor mans Brit? Anyways, lets see if we can infiltrate shall we?

(Ahren walks through the doors, and finds a seat at the bar)

Ahren: Ha! Just as I suspected, they don't suspect a thing... No one here knows that I am not one their kind, I am actually...

Aussie at the bar: Oi mate wut the fock?

Ahren: Oh um.. Boomarangs! Kangaroos!

Aussie at the bar: Mate, I fuckin love boomarangs and roos mate.

Ahren: All of us "Australians" do. Oi matey... Shit that's a pirate... Mate, Crocodile Hunter, and Dundee, how cool are they? Just the best right?

Aussie at the bar: THEY'RE TOTALLY THE BEST!!

Ahren: Actually, have you seen the Crocodile Hunters daughter? She's hot now... And legal

Aussie: I hear that mate, cheers.

Ahren: I will cheers you in just a moment. I have something to take care of at the moment.

(Ahren looks directly at the camera, and into your soul)

Now I'm in your mind Keelan, I know exactly how you think. How? Well clearly all of you Aussies are the same, and I learned everything I need to know from this drunk one. You're in for a world of hurt pal. But hey good to see you're stealing my roller coaster ride analogy that I used last week, weird you're trying to pass it off as your own. Just like you though Keelan, always a little too late. Anyways, Jesus Keelan, you're such a prepubescent little girl. All you can talk about is how I haven't capitalized on the opportunities given to me. What.. all 1 of them? Sure I didn't get it done, you beat me that one time. But you want to talk about how many times I've failed? How about you? Here I am the Hardcore Champion of the world, and here you are with no accomplishments to your name. But I'm the one in wrestling purgatory, the one that JUST moved up and got a title, yes I am the one in purgatory. Not the guy that's been feuding with the same stable for the past 5 months, it's me. Like did you even know what that word meant when you said it? Or were you looking into the mirror when you said it? Because wow, all you have to do is look at my waist, then look at yours and see who truly is in "wrestling purgatory". Honestly everything that you're saying about me, can be more said about you. You've had more title opportunities than I have, yet you try to lambast me for the ones I have. You're so up your own ass you don't even know when it's day or night. Because the differences between you and I, are day and night. This business is all about results right, well where are yours? Seeing that you're so judgmental with what I haven't done, it's only right to take a look at your past, and see what you've done, right? You've had your shot at the Hardcore title and lost, you had your chance to get an EAW title opportunity and lost. So don't go pointing fingers "pal". You can't even get your past right, you thought you beat me twice, when you beat me once; and I beat you once. Classic Keelan trying to make himself look better than he actually is. And the problem with that is, the people actually buy that crap. You put on this fake smile, you kiss all of their asses, because you want to be liked just so damn bad. And seeing that they like you, they aren't going to shit talk someone they like. You're one of those special types of individuals who doesn't care what he says, as long as it gets over well with the crowd. You're what I'd like to call a wrestling whore, not to be confused with ring rats ha. I don't know how these people are so easily fooled, I think you have a very punchable face, which is tip off of how terrible you are to begin with.

But hey let's go back to that tag team match, "hey where even is Autumn Raven right now, that name is even more irrelevant than your title reign." Really Keelan? Do you know how shitty that makes you sound? Dragging Autumn Ravens name through the dirt only makes your loss that much worse. If she was so awful why was she able to beat you? Becuause your partner wasn't good enough? Of course you have an excuse, of course you do, and of course you'll blame your partner. Well if that's the case Keelan, if you're so much better than Marco, why weren't you in the match carrying the team? If he wasn't good why did you choose him as your partner? And if he wasn't good, how did he successfully take you out for months and months, you bafoon? Also, if she was so bad, then that just means I was so good I beat you and Marco at the same time, because I am that damn good. Again prissy little bitch, it can never be Keelans fault ever. Man up... like you did when you said you were wrong about how many times you've beaten me... and take at least some blame for your past failures. Now let's talk about all your hard work. Your hard work is sitting at home for months and months recuperating from injury? That's the hard work you're talking about? Face it you got paid for having a vacation and came back and got handed more shit. Wow what an impressive beating you took, why don't you face a guy that's on his way out, so it can seem like you did something good. Then we can justify giving you a number one contenders match for the EAW title. Makes sense. You put so much effort into the 2 weeks you've actually worked this year, so yeah I guess you deserve it over the people that have actually been here. Now this whole thing started because I opened my mouth about you, but you seem to be overreacting, they are just words after all. Right? Words don't have any power unless you let them, and my words consumed you, ate at you, to the point where you couldn't take it anymore. If I was wrong with what I said, why did you react so brashly? Obviously you wouldn't care if it wasn't true right? You act like such a child. Hardcore is your world? Umm no Keelan, Hardcore is MY world, I am the champion of it, I reign supreme. Did I watch your match with Nathan? You mean the one you lost? Sure yeah I saw it, what's your point? Did I see your march with Kenny? I've already talked about it fool. Did you watch my match with Maero? He's incapacitated, he's gone, I injured him to the point where who knows if he'll ever return. The doctors haven't ok'd him yet and the match took place about a month ago. You can claim that Hardcore all you want, but again facts are facts, results are results, and the fact remains that the result of the Maero match made champion of Hardcore. Keep talking about insignificant things that you've done, brag about a match that you lost, that doesn't make you sound better, it makes you pathetic. Do you even hear yourself speak? You're the guy that will show up each and every week? Ok, sure until you get injured again and leave for months, you fragile fuck. Don't make me get big bad Marco here to end your life... just kidding, I can do it myself. Where did this giant ego even come from? Lord knows it isn't from results. You get so close to grabbing that brass ring only to fall right on your face each and every single time. But hey that's what I'm known for right? Well... not anymore it looks like, because here I am the champion. And that's not going to change because some koala bear, kangaroo jack Aussie wants to ruin it for me. Why don't you take a trip to the outback and get murdered by any of the animals that live there. Your country is odd. That will help this title much more than anything else you could possibly do... because that would mean that we wouldn't have to suffer through another forced Keelan match.

Stop saying everything that I said about Maero because it makes you look better, everyone knows the real truth. And the truth is that I am the best champion that this company has seen in a long time. I am here actually here, not in the here you speak of, y'know, here in spirit. I'm actually in the ring wrestling every week, and have been since July of last year. I haven't taken any breaks, I haven't gotten injured, I'm here. I come out here I talk, each and every week because that's what these people need. You're not trustworthy Keelan you've already been put on the shelf... yeah you run hardcore so much, so much so that you couldn't handle Marco fedor and some mortal men. But hey since you want to hypocritical and say one thing then say the exact opposite so be it. I mean how can you say that I deserve this title, yet say that I'm not someone that they can depend on. How have I shown that I can't be depended on exactly you hypocritical sloot? Because I lost some matches last year I should've won? Well here in present day, you know, where we live, I don't lose very often. I am the epitome of resilient, all those times I failed made me stronger, and after all that I still stayed. I stayed and persevered. Isn't that a champion that people can be proud of? To not give up on yourself and be able to prove everyone wrong? Sounds like a pretty damn qualified champion to me. You're so caught up in last year, you're forgetting we don't live there anymore. I mean Keelan, you're seriously getting mad at me for being mad at you because you interrupted me. You know how hard I worked for this, you know the trials and tribulations I encountered and yet you couldn't just let me have my moment. How would you feel if someone made your Championship celebration about them? You couldn't have just been an adult about it, come to me backstage after everything and say hey man that wasn't cool. Where I would probably laughed in your face, but it would've been the more appropriate way of going about it. I guess your parents didn't give you any lessons in manners. So Keelan you ask me, what did I do in my first few weeks? You pinned me, so what did I do? Keelan you do know you signed to this company like 2 or 3 weeks after me right? You act as though I wasn't a few weeks here too. You're a complete and utter moron, that is nowhere near fit to hold a title in this company. But wait, I'll answer Keelan, you see, even though you're older than me, let me give you some advice for life. It's not about how quick you do something, it's about how long you can stay there. Meaning, sure you won a qualifying match, good job, you seem hung up on that one defining moment in your life. But have you been champion? No. Right now, my career is looking better than yours. I stayed the course and over come, and I will continue on this ascension to the top. Maybe if you weren't living in the past, maybe you'd be able to see the future, but maybe you don't want to look that far because you're afraid of what you might see eh? Now, I know you're going through a difficult time in your life. Just got publicly dumped, embarrassed. I know to cope you're watching your favorite episodes of gossip girl, downing some ice cream, and crying your sorrows away. But I just want to say Keelan... it's not going to get better. This weekend and Grand Rampage, you will lose, and your Championship aspirations, they go up in smoke. You will be left without a girl, without a title, and without hope. I'm just glad I'll be the one to do that for you.

And hey side note, the man bun is in at the moment. I know you don't understand style or fashion because you're like the crypt keepers dad, but get with the times.

But now, I would like to sing an Australian drinking song for dear old Keelan. Sir would you like to join in with me? EVERYBODY WANNA JOIN IN?!

Whole bar: AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI

Ahren: NOOOOO WE'RE NOT CHANTING THAT AT THE MOMENT! Here we go everyone, it goes like this!!
Here's to you Keelan.

You're a piss pot through and through

You're a bastard, so they say

You tried to go to heaven

But you went the other way, you went down

Down, down, down, down, down, down, down

Down, down, down, down

You tried to go to heaven

But you went the other way, so get down

Down, down, down, down, down..

Cheers Keelan. CHEERS EVERYONE!!

(Ahren cheers everyone and downs his non alcoholic soda, he winks and the camera fades to black)

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 6:30 am by RoViper

Why did I expect a more complex mindset from two of the fastest rising stars on this roster? I was giving them the benefit of the doubt, but they're proving me wrong. I don't want this to seem like I despise younger talent getting their limelight --- I'd just rather observe those who actually deserve it. What makes a team special? Their unity? Yeah, sure, but it's also their unique approach to the division and their oppositions. I'm not going to divulge too much into whether or not your challenges have been up to par or not, but instead I'll go ahead and reopen an old chapter in my career. And I mean this is one of the oldest chapters ever in my entire career. It's the chapter that revolves around the majority of Brian Daniels' formidable foes combating his psychology with meaningless content. Do you know how many times that same bell has been rung? "Robbie V casts a shadow upon you", "You've always been his sidekick", and "You're nothing without Robbie V". Do you know how tiresome that gets? I don't even find the entertainment that I once did out of it. It was once a funny ongoing joke, but now you're beating a dead horse. How much history have you even bothered to enlighten yourself with? Did you automatically latch yourselves onto the most common insult of them all and decided to run with it? I don't need to remind you that I'm the longest reigning World Heavyweight Champion, but I guess if that's what it takes. Do you really want me to sit here and list every single accomplishment I've collected over the years without Robbie V on my side? He's my friend, my partner, and my brother --- I've already stated those facts. I don't want to take the superiority route here, but in what position are either of you to judge my career? You barely have one for yourselves. "We were lifetime friends, that's why we're so good!" And? Do you want me to accommodate your capability to keep an ongoing friendship? Do you want me to congratulate your success? Is that what makes you special? But if we're going to dig up dirt. Why don't we mention your first go in this company, why don't we? You were promising, but you did nothing to put yourselves out there. You didn't want to put in the hard work and effort, so what happens next? You completely vanish off the wrestling scene for I don't even know how long. And then somehow, someway, you find yourselves back in this company. But you return at the weakest point in the current tag team division. I guess that says a whole lot about you two, doesn't it? We haven't had a stellar division in quite some time. Can I blame you for taking advantage of it? No. I don't ever expect you to wrap your mind around this, but you're far from the levels that RoViper was and is on. You're nowhere near the stature of the greatest tag team known to date.

You know who you remind me of? The Mighty Don't Kneel. I can easily compare your pride and egos with one another, because they also thought that in a matter of weeks that they surpassed notable tag teams such as; RoViper, Dynamite Rain, Sex N' Violence, The Mercenaries, and so forth. I don't even need to explain what happened with the, because it's what's currently happening with you two. I really do often ponder on my enemy's thought process. You know, how they have themselves predetermined to win everything? Right? That's this scenario: The High Rollerz have every intention on ending the legend that is RoViper, but what if they don't? Don't get me wrong, I'm only saying "if" out of retrospect. What happens if The High Horse that The High Rollerz rides in on --- suddenly kicks them off? They've garnered so much success that Damien Murrow has taken notice to them. But won't it be quite a humbling moment if RoViper takes the titles back for a second time? I don't think either of you have even gone through the thought process of that result. You've been so fixated on defeating us, in which case makes it so much easier defeating you. What are The High Rollerz without their Tag Team Championships? Would they just call it quits and leave again when the going gets tough? I was once in your positions not too long ago. I held the Tag Team Championships during this era of the disappointing tag division. It got so boring, that I started to care less and less about the titles. I can only admit now --- that your titles seemingly don't interest me like they once did. I have been in that same attitude for quite some time. The gold that ascends the lowest of low cannot change my current personality. But at the same time when I'm not interested in them, I want to send a clear humbling message to the disrespectful. I want to prove that their dominance is not dominance at all. I want to showcase how their success has only been through sheer luck. You were the best working tag team in EAW, but that was until the man that highly invested into you remade RoViper. I want you to take that in for just a moment. I want you to realize when you don't walk out of the tenth annual Grand Rampage, that's partially because of Damien Murrow. He's done his absolute damnedest to rid the world of Brian Daniels and Robbie V, but instead he's united two rapid wolverines. I don't completely believe that you understand how relentless RoViper was a tag team. I don't think you actually know what we're capable of. You've been told stories, you've witnessed history, but you haven't experienced first hand the strength of RoViper. Yeah, we've both had our differences in the past, but in the end we've always had each others backs. I sacrificed myself for Robbie V and I'd gladly do it again. There will be no other human being in this company who I will respect more than him. He mentored me when nobody else would and I can never pay him back the gratitude. While I played a vital role in his return, that's only the beginning. Grand Rampage? That's another step along our journey... and soon we'll get what we both want, like it or not.

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 6:29 am by RoViper

Cherish that gold, but know that no matter how long it rests upon your shoulders, it will never be your’s.

You thrive in a World where a challenge is nearly non-existent and proclaim yourselves a Kings. You spit on whatever we’ve done together, and you boast that you will use us as your own personal stepping stones.

That gold goes to waste on your shoulders, because every word that crawls out of your mouth reassures me that it doesn’t belong to you, nor will it ever. Don’t speak for me, and don’t make your pathetic assumptions. Those Tag Team Championships you carry are far more than something that represents the absolute best of this division. Our desire for something else doesn’t mean we will fail here. You bring nothing to this table that we haven’t seen a thousand times over. We breathed life into the Division you call home, and we put everything on the line to create what you cherish most. I don’t know you, but I know everyone just like you, so I don’t stand here expecting an ounce of gratitude. I don’t expect respect. It even seems like it was too much to expect you to understand why we’re here. Far beyond the fact that we were thrown into this against our will. We do have a reason to take those Championships from you, make no mistake about that. Do we want to? No. We don’t. We have our own goal we’ve been chasing for some time now, and we will stop at nothing to make it a reality.

However, this isn’t about choice.

It’s not about what we want.

It’s about what needs to happen: the inevitable.

I’ve tasted talk of religion and fate and all that far too much to nearly stomach any of it at this point in my life, but I do believe in some inexplicable phenomena. I believe that a force compelled this match to happen, and I don’t mean the grating voice of Murrow. I don’t mean his selfish lust for vengeance. I don’t mean your cliched hunger to bring down to Legends so you can pretend that just because you shot Jesse James that you’re just as good as him. What compels this match to happen is an inexplicable force that urges us to rid the Tag Team Division of two petulant idiots that honestly believe they’re going to be the ones to destroy everything two of the most decorated athletes in the entire history of this company have built. That they’re going to take what we have gone to the ends of the Earth for and shatter it. That they’re going to rip away something that both of us have put our bodies on the line for in ways that we can never take back. I do believe it in this force. I believe it wants us to bring you to your knees and make you question whatever it is that brought you to this dance, because in all that time you two spent growing up together, you clearly made a wrong choice. You made a choice that brought you to this point; the lowest point of your lives. Far beyond whatever rock you crawled out from under to get here. Far beyond all the trials and tribulations you’ve dealt with in your careers.

April 15th, 2017 will be the most significant day of your lives for the worst reasons possible.

Look me in the eyes and tell me that I’m bluffing when I tell you that we will take it from you. Not just the Unified Tag Team Championships, but everything with it. We will pull that thread sticking out so carelessly and make no mistake, we will yank away until this farce you put on unravels and all that’s left for the World to see is that naked shame. That abject humility that changes the course of a man’s life. I’d be lying to you if I said I don’t take any satisfaction in moments like those brought on by my own two hands. I like it. No, I love it. Nothing gives me greater joy in life than this. The physicality we’re going to give on that night will be a painful experience, no doubt, but when this is all said and done, and you’re left beaten and empty, I will take a great deal of joy in knowing that this will eat away at your psyche for months, maybe even years to come. You come to us looking to cross us out? That’s a stupid move. Your eyes are bigger than your stomach. You want too much. You’re greedy little men, and you will pay for it. You will walk out of that arena with the absolute opposite of what you wanted to badly. Instead of celebrating your retention and the end of Robbie V and Brian Daniels, you will shamefully leave without your gold to keep you warm, and our names burned into the back of your minds. The three most important seconds of your lives repeating again and again. That tumor of doubt spreading throughout your bodies. Will you be able to overcome it, or will it eat you alive? Will all of your talk of this strong bond you’ve got last when faced with crushing adversity?

Are you weak?

I sure hope not.

Weak people don’t last here. Don’t worry though, we’re here to weed out the weak. That’s what we do. Not because we want to, but because we have to. You look at our longevity here and scoff, but do you really know what it means? Do you know what it means to have come this far after years and years of battles and wars? Destroying your body time and time again? Read up on the past and look around. Tell me how many of those names are still here. Very few, I imagine. Does that make us foolish old dogs that need to be put down? I don’t think so. In fact, I think it makes us the soldiers dedicated enough to their craft to have gone through Hell and still keep going while the rest drop like flies, one by one. I have no shame in being an old man beaten by a young, hungry challenger, but if there’s a breath left in my body, that day will not come. Does it shame you to be a young, hungry challenger beaten by an old man? I wonder. All eyes are on you, “High Rollerz” with a “Z” who talk about others names being stupid. This is it. This is everything. This is the biggest moment of your careers, and should you make good on everything you’ve said here already, it will grant you countless opportunities, I’m sure. But… If you fail, then what? Oh, I’m sure you won’t fail, right? Nobody comes here expecting to be beaten. I would think two people with your name would know that everything is a gamble. You made the biggest gamble of your lives by accepting Murrow’s offer. I truly hope luck is on your side when the bell rings. I truly do.

You’ve bet everything from your gold to your reputation.

Yet, you don’t seem to realize that the House always wins.

And this is our House.

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 6:11 am by **Drastik**

[With no exposition, the scene opens up and holds at the image of a clock that seems to be broken. It’s set to three in the morning. Breaking the silence, the sound of an unlatching echo through the room. The clock begins to tick, the hands moving around the numbers. The same lyrics to “Adventures” by Kid Cudi repeat again and again, faintly with the clicking of the clock setting the rhythm. When the clock makes it’s full way around, it locks in place again, freezing. The music stops and the silence holds for a moment longer before a voice can be heard. No one is shown. The clock is the only thing within the frame.]

Inadequate, feelin’ so unwanted,
Make him want to disappear.

We’re three days away from a world championship match that will likely determine the man that will have the honor of headlining this company’s most prestigious annual event. Most people in my position would show off their workout routine. Others would brag about the media questions and the late night talk show interviews and the entire melee that’s bound to follow them around like sheep until they finally make it to Saturday. At the very least, you’d have that uncontrolled excitement—the antsy nature, the unsettled spirit. You’d feel it in their words every single time they spoke because what’s coming up at the horizon might be everything they’ve ever dreamed of. What I’m experiencing tonight, and what I have been experiencing the last few nights, is nothing like that. I’ve done everything I can to avoid media questioning. I’ve made sure to stay away from the crowds of people who want to form a parade around me, leading me into Grand Rampage. I haven’t even been training or conditioning lately, to tell you the truth, Eclipse. And while many will see that as me not taking this match seriously, it’s more so commentary of what’s going on in my head. It’s the middle of the night just three days away from what could objectively be the most defining moment of my entire life, and I can tell you that I haven’t slept one bit. I didn’t sleep the night before. I don’t know if you’ve ever felt this way, Eclipse, but when I get into phases like this, something in me and budge loose and I can disconnect for hours without even realizing it. I can sit alone in my room without a single thought crossing my mind and feel as though I wasn’t even ever conscious. It’s not sleep, but it’s something that gets me closer to Saturday. I’m not sure yet if I appreciate it or if I’m terrified by it. But that’s what I’ve been doing. That’s the reality of the situation.

Time is moving past us.

I’ve continued thinking about what you had to say before about defending your own pride with this match coming up, and I think it might just be the most humanizing thing I’ve ever heard you say. So, if you’d allow for me to take a moment to speak to you as if you’re just another man, I’d like to offer my hand and tell you that I can understand what your battle is rooted in. Though people have seen you as being reckless, though people have pinned you as being insane, the truth is that you’ve longed for structure a lot more than any of the guys in the back. But even more than that, you’ve looked for the position of power to finally be heard because for so long you’ve been written off as being nothing more than that schizophrenic psychopath, that greasy pedophile you joked about, that tacky Hollywood cookie-cutter cult leader. You and I have been written off and stripped of our ability to speak because of our conditions. When I spoke about what I’ve been going through, I was left off the card for weeks. When news broke that I had attempted killing myself at the end of my previous tenure here, people turned their heads away and acted as if nothing happened. You’ve experienced that same thing, Eclipse. The same way that people sit in their cars with their windows rolled up, looking past homeless men holding signs begging for any sort of spare change, people look right past you as if you aren’t there. They turn their heads away. They pretend they can’t hear you. And you’ve taken that as motivation to find a way to force them to look—to force them to hear what you have to say. You’ve tried to get their attention by facing other legendary figures in the past. You’ve tried to use the throne as means to grab the position of center stage while the crowd is forced to sit in their seats and listen to your monologue. And for a long time, Eclipse, you failed to find that. No matter what position you put yourself in, you couldn’t get the people to notice the sign you’d hold to your chest while the rest of them acted as though you weren’t there. So you came to the dumpster fire that is Voltage, you started your little following of misfits that at least served as a peer group to listen to the message you’ve been trying to preach for so long. You even captured the world championship here. But despite what you’ve done, the people you’ve been trying to reach still aren’t responding to you. They don’t give you the respect you believe you deserve. They don’t give you the time of day for you to extend your message the way you’ve longed to do for so long. Telling guys like Solomon Caine or Maero aren’t going to fill your appetite to be heard. That’s why you want this match almost as badly as I do. This is your opportunity—or so you believe—for people to turn their heads toward us, even if it’s just for a second. And when they do, you’re going to do everything you can to extend your message. That’s what this is all about for you. This is your platform. You won’t find it on Voltage, but you might be able to find it here.

If you’re able to stand above my broken body and raise your championship above your head, marching alone to the grandest stage of them all, then there’s no doubting that heads will turn and people will see you. Some might even feel compelled to respond—rolling down their windows, extending what little they can give, treating you with human decency. But the thing is, Eclipse, I just can’t let you do that. It isn’t that I don’t want you to have that stage; it isn’t that I don’t want people to hear your message or humanize you. I can’t let you attain what you want because this weekend comes down to needs for me. I need this opportunity. I need to be put in this position. I need to take one last sip and remember what it tastes like to figure out if I should keep on drinking or just stop and go home. I don’t have another option, Eclipse. You’ll have to keep on searching for your means to be heard beyond your little group of followers or the scattered crowds that fill arenas for Voltage. I’m sorry it has to be this way, but it’s the only choice I have. It’s all I can do. Just know, Eclipse, that while the others turned their heads away and acted as if you weren’t even here, I’ve been here listening. I hear you, Eclipse.

But I need this to heal me.

Inadequate, he is so unwanted,
Make him want to disappear,
From the fire calling,
Damn that is so unfair,
How could I care? How could I care?
How could I care?

[With the final word, the clock begins to tick again, this time with different lyrics playing. As the words are repeated again and again faintly in the background, the arms begin to slow slightly, then the melody with it. The ticking arms crawl to the peak of the clock before freezing again, landing right as “How could I care?” is asked again. The shot is held for a moment. A shadow moves across it. The scene cuts off into darkness. There is no solid white text show—only blackness.]

SAIL

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 3:31 am by **Bhris Elite**

Grand Rampage X Promo 2: Some words of advice

(Chris Elite is shown in an old gym him and Big Mike used to train at when they were younger back in Brooklyn NY,   both of them just finished a long session of training as the camera approaches them while Big Mike is giving Chris words of motivation)

Big Mike: Chris you cannot let this be like past events.   You can’t B, it’s time you finally use those times as lessons instead of letting history repeat it’s self you have to learn from it.   They want you to fail, they don’t want you to succeed Chris Elite isn’t supposed to be the name you are now. You should still be the same idiot from 7 years ago who was just some stepping stone in matches like the 24/7 Battle Royal.   They don’t want to see you winning and every time you do win it upsets them you hear it in the boos and this weekend it’s time you truly do what you’ve been saying, it’s time you ignore these idiots we call the “EAW Universe” like you said you have been. B, it’s time you really let your actions do the speaking show these motherfuckers just how ruthless and relentless you are.   I don’t care how many dreams you have to crush for yours to become a reality you go out there and do that shit B.   You go out there and you give these bastards something to really be upset about. It’s like they say every failure is a step to success and you’ve had a lot of those Chris and you know that. Now it’s time to put that behind you remember every mistake you’ve made in the past and avoid making those same mistakes again and avoid making new ones.   Also don’t let these hating bastards in the locker room get to you with all that talk about all the times you’ve failed.   You are stronger than all of them just because of that B! One major failure and their careers are over you on the other hand learned how to deal with it and if whoever is listening to me doesn’t believe me you go out there and prove them wrong not just for me, but most importantly for yourself. As much as I hate this bastard Donald Trump he said it the best “Sometimes by losing the battle, you find a new way to win the war” and that’s 100 percent true for you. Everyone in this match should be afraid of you because you because you lost many battles but this match this match is a war. A war you will come out on top.   Don’t worry about being a stupid fucking “Fan Favorite” that shit is stupid,   fuck a fan favorite become the most hated winner Chris…

Chris Elite: You know as long as we’ve been friends that’s probably the smartest and most motivational shit you’ve ever said to me and I appreciate that at a time like this brother. Your right though about everything, they do want me to fail they want me to go out there and repeat history they want another reason to mock me and harass me and I won’t allow that from my fails at 24/7 Battle Royal to my failure in the Cash in the Vault even to my most recent against Nico Borg all of those will be used as lessons. If their mad at the fact my name shouldn’t be as big as it is now then just wait until after Grand Rampage 10 because that’s the only name you’ll hear for a long time. When you go Starbucks people will be talking about me,   when you go the playground people will talking about me. When you turn on your television people will be talking about me, and for once it won’t be about me failing yet again.   This time they’ll talk about my success and how I’m the one who is in the main event THE biggest Pain for Pride ever.   It’s time I stop speaking about how ruthless and relentless I am and I go out there and prove it. I Box Office Smash everyone that steps in my way and not only smash their heads in but smash their hopes and dreams. I won’t let these other Elitist get to me with their talk of all the times I’ve ever failed in my career because I’m sure that’s the only thing I’ll be hearing about this week when my name is brought up. I’ll let them have their laughs for the week because by the end of it I’ll have the last one.   They can laugh and giggle all they want backstage but me and you Big Mike we’ll be laughing and giggling all the way to that Pain for Pride main event.   I am stronger than all of them and they won’t admit it they’ll never admit it I know how to deal with failure I know to keep fighting through it and for the first time I’ll finally use it as a lesson all these battles I’ve lost throughout my 7 years here will be used in this war I walk into this weekend.   A war where I’ll place my flag right in the middle of the ring and I’m not worried about a fan favorite.   I’m going to take all of them out.   I want to hear those roar of boos when I take out the likes of Pizza Boy or Nas or TLA.   I can’t wait until I’m the last one standing in the match with one of those “Fan favorites” I can’t wait to hear the reaction when I’m the reason that Pizza Boy won’t get his shot at redemption for the world championship that was stolen from him.   I can’t wait to hear the reaction from all those people who planned on going back to the Poon Palace and having some large extravaganza boo the living shit out of me.   I can’t wait until I make my entrance on the next Showdown and I hear chants like “Fuck you Chris” and all that other lovely shit. I look forward to it actually.   Fuck a fan favorite because all of them will lose anyway they’ll all suffer the same exact fate in this match.   I’m not worried about a fan favorite because their all losers and even If I am the most hated who gives a damn? At least I won.

Big Mike: See that’s what I like to hear B. Also don’t let those stupid prediction sites get to you either. I know how you are and I know you get upset when you don’t see your name in those ignore that bullshit none of it matters! Who cares if people don’t think you’ll be in the final four, who cares if people don’t think you’ll last the longest and who gives a fuck if people don’t think you’ll win. You go out there and prove them wrong! You go out there and make sure no one ever has a single doubt in you again and no matter how much they hate you their forced to pick you as the winner. And if they don’t do that than their just simply hating pieces of shit who won’t give credit where it’s due. Another thing, don’t feel no type of way that no other participants in this match see you as a threat to win this match or just like the fans they don’t think you’ll be in the match either.   Let them keep ignoring you let them keep paying attention to some fucker from Voltage who hired a fortune teller to make himself seem “Deep”.   Fuck the number 1 entrant who hangs out with some dude named Shimmer who runs around in some weird ass face paint. Forgot that zoologist that comes out at number 30.   Ignore the pizza delivery dude, ignore everyone and you go out there and make them the saltiest bastards on this planet!

Chris Elite: You are 100 percent right about everything you’ve said today Big Mike. Those prediction sites don’t mean a think those are just all some fat nerds who live in their mother’s basement still who fall in love with woman on the internet. Their opinions mean nothing and I’ll no longer let them get to me.   If they don’t think I’ll be in the final four? That’s cool because I’m not aiming to be in the final four. I’m not aiming to be in the final 3 or even the final 2. I’m aiming to be the final ONE! The one who can be able to point at that Pain for Pride sign and know I’m going to the main event while the other participants who continue to look over me are the angriest people in the world after all the talk they did this week and their still not the ones who come out on top. Instead though the one they overlooked the one they didn’t bring up once unless it was a reply to me will be the one who is victorious.   All those failures and mistakes you guys keep insulting me about will be the exact reason I come out on top. The exact reason God Given Greatness will prove why he is just that and not just some nick name like “The Man of Miracle’s”.    For now I’m done addressing this match until further notice it’s back to training come on Big Mike…

(Chris Elite and Big Mike get back up and get ready to train again as the camera fades)

Re: EAW Promoz! April 12th 2017, 2:24 am by **Jacob Senn**

At long last, one of the parrots have ceased its echoed squawk and has finally gave creation to an opinion on Jacob Senn that hasn’t been manufactured by another’s lips! Bravo, Jamie O’Hara! Give yourself a big round of applause, pat yourself on the back, and go get you a nice stiff drink to celebrate because you have actually broken out of a cycle that many fall under in this business! Repeated lines of dialogue that drone on and on to become to a point of where a man has to respond with disingenuous remarks to be able to keep up the dance between the two, that has finally ceased with you, but as for our other competitor in this match… he’s luck still hasn’t bode well for him. Maybe next time, chap. However, you’ve impressed me with the response that you’ve given unto me. Nothing that was echoed throughout time, nothing that was thrown at me back years ago towards me, but something genuine! Something unique! Something with merit to it… or as much as you can get with an insult that’s thrown towards me! However, this is the part where I take those words that you spoke about me and make you feast upon them to show why they’re false.

Jamie, did you honestly believe that I was going to risk my chances at retaining my EAW World Heavyweight Championship, only to get involved in your scuffle with Xavier Williams? Did you HONESTLY hope that I would be some gallant knight and save you from the injustice that has plagued you at every turn with him? That’s quite adorable, to be honest with you. I find it charming to see such innocence in your eyes to where you actually thought that I would do that, but don’t get your heart shattered over it. It was nothing personal about it unlike your issues with Xavier, but it was purely a professional observation. See, if I had thrown my championship down and got into the scuffle with Xavier, it might have been my leg wrapped up in a boot like a birthday present for him instead of yours. It could have been my spine that needed a brace and been out of action for quite a decent amount of time, instead of you missing two weeks on the road with Dynasty. At the end of the night, you still have your World Heavyweight Championship and I’m still as healthy as ever, but you’re still bitter. Let me give you a bit of advice, Jamie, since you’ve seem to have missed this lesson when whatever retired loser trained you for this place. The only person that matters at the end of the day… is yourself! There’s nobody else on this roster that’s going to have your protection in mind, to have your safety and security as their top priority, but their main goal is to be successful and become world champion. I didn’t create the hatred that has manifested in Xavier Williams to lead him to decimate you in the manner that he did, you created that when you cost him months of his career by injuring his leg. I didn’t cause him to be unable to hold this prestigious championship on his shoulder after a hellacious Barbed-Wire Steel Cage Match, you did that by forcing your way inside with a pair of bolt cutters! You created the monster that has been at your heels and inside your head during your chase for this championship and instead of passing the responsibility of taking care of this problem onto me, you should be able to be man enough to deal with the problem on your own! I’m not your father, I’m not your babysitter, I’m your opponent and I’ve told you time and time again, I will take EVERY advantage I can to secure this championship in my possession and that’s one of the opportunities that I’ve taken to do just that, Jamie.

Another opportunity that I took was just last week when you had your match with Kelly Hackenschmidt, having you deal with the humiliation of losing to a man that I brought down to his knees, and making a statement to the world at your expense. Do you think I did that because of a lack of respect? No, this is a war. Everything is game in this war for the EAW World Heavyweight Championship and when I saw an opportunity to make sure that you understood the person that would be standing across from you in the middle of the ring in Camp Nou, I took it! I TOOK IT IN SPADES! I DROPPED YOU ON YOUR NECK AND LEFT YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING TO KNOW WHAT GRAND RAMPAGE WOULD FEEL LIKE! I DID IT TO LET IT HAUNT YOUR MIND AND KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU LIE DOWN ON YOUR BED AND ATTEMPT TO SLEEP AT NIGHT! What I did wasn’t born from fear or doubt, but it was to leave a message to you that you would hear loud and clear, Jamie. A warning of things to come and that you need to heed it, but you won’t. No one ever does in this business because they’ve been engulfed by pride and unable to see the destination that comes, but it will be fine. I’m confident in knowing that I’m retaining my championship just as you’re confident in your victory to reclaim the position that you left months ago, but don’t get too comfortable with that ideal. For you’ve said it yourself, Jamie, I’ve been a consistent mainstay in this company and have proven myself against every obstacle that has come into my path. Twice, I’ve had the opportunity and the privilege to be known as the EAW World Heavyweight Champion and showed the world that no matter what they wanted to throw towards me, they weren’t going to keep me away from the world championship! No matter whether you agree with the methods that I’ve been able to accomplish these feats with, no matter if you believe that I’ve walked a path that’s been morally just, I’ve made it clear that Dynasty has become MY HOME AND MY PLACE TO REIGN AT THE TOP! As much as you respected me and you decided to stave off of trying to make a statement against my name, it hampered you in the long run when I made sure that the message was gifted to you. Xavier even wanted to make it clear about his chances, but the truth is that he will meet the same fate as you, broken and defeated at the end of the night. However, you’ve made it very clear that you’re not going to be persuaded by the fact that Xavier Williams, the man that cost you a chance to be crowned The King of Elite under the pseudonym of The King of Bullets and nearly prevented you from being in this match in the first place. You let the entire world that when it comes to my EAW World Heavyweight Championship, he doesn’t matter to you. The only thing that matters to you is becoming the champion and to that I say this, it should be like that. You shouldn’t have Xavier placating to your emotions, allowing you to feast on the boiling rage and hatred that resides within you, and you will lose control. You will see how easy it will be to simply rid this company of the man that has committed numerous crimes against you in this business and take advantage of it, leaving the entire match open for me to strike and remove both of you from contention of this championship of mine, and leaving your aspiration to prove to the world that your first title victory wasn’t a fluke into oblivion. Even with redemption and vengeance at stake with Xavier Williams, another underlying reason for you to be in this match is to gain the chance to prove the world wrong about you being a champion around here. Try your best, fire every shot that you can muster, Jamie! DO EVERYTHING IT TAKES BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT WILL TAKE TO WIN! However, you have your limitations on what you will bring yourself to do because you’ve seemed to have developed a code of ethics that frowns upon doing what you must. If there’s a chair lying on the ground and you have the opportunity to use it, will you take it? If there’s an opening to do something that will leave an unsavory taste in the mouth of the people in Camp Nou watching this match unfold to achieve your goal, will you allow it to happen? I have my doubts because unlike you, I don’t care what anyone thinks about what happens in this match, other than walking out with the championship on my shoulder instead of yours!

However, I need to interject with a message to our resident squawking parrot, Xavier Williams. Still echoing this message about being a poor man’s Brian Daniels, huh? Trying to make that message of me trying to be a diluted version of something superior? Well, let me just rock your world for a second and remind you of the job that a champion has around here, alright Xavier? I know it’s been quite some time since you’ve held a world championship around your waist and the time that you’ve been away from a title of true value, it might have made this particularly unclear to you. My job as the EAW World Heavyweight Champion is to keep this championship with me at all times and do whatever I must to keep it that way. I do anything and everything to make sure that the little nameplate right under here, buddy, it says Jacob Senn. Not The Heart Break Boy, not Mr. DEDEDE, not Lucian Black, not Jamie O’Hara, and certainly not Xavier Williams. Are you still able to keep up with me or have I lost your attention to the scratched record playing in your head about you can make some controversy, if you can call this controversy. Still with me? Good! Now, that’s my only job as the EAW World Heavyweight Champion and you know who has the job of making the matches that I defend my championship against, Xavier Williams? Let me guess… it’s not myself… it’s not you… it’s not Jamie… THAT’S RIGHT! IT’S THE MAN THAT BASICALLY HANDED YOU THIS OPPORTUNITY TO BE IN THIS MATCH ON A SILVER PLATTER! YOU FORGET THAT? DID YOU GET A CONCUSSION OR SOMETHING IN ONE OF YOUR RECENT MATCHES? This is how the business works, Xavier. The man that stands behind you and has crowned you his next golden goose, he’s the one that decides what matches take place here on Dynasty. After that, I get the call of who my opponent will be and what stipulation it will be under. Once that’s finished, I make my appearance at the date and do my job of decimating my opponent and walking out of the ring STILL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! So, if you want to complain about me being in an Elimination Chamber Match, you want to whine about having a match at King of Elite with The Heart Break Boy, or even being placed inside of a Barbed-Wire Steel Cage Match against you, here’s a grand idea that could really relieve you of the stress and jealousy that you seem to be devoured with. Turn your head around, look down at your ass, pull the person’s face that’s attached to it, AND ASK HIM BECAUSE SEBASTIAN MONROE IS THE ONE WHO MADE THOSE MATCHES, YOU IMBECILE! However, other than little notion of the matches that have taken place, let’s examine this scenario of me being a man of cheap comparison to the GREAT AND GRAND BRIAN DANIELS THAT YOU SEEM TO PRAISE MORE THAN ANYONE IN YOUR ENTIRE CAREER! Let’s see… do I wrestle like the man that believed he was born from a dragon for a time? No, not really. Does my vernacular match the words that would be spoken by him? I would disagree with that notion too. What about my actions and how I carry myself? Still wrong because that would mean that I would be some sort of hero to the public eye instead of what you would believe me to be a cancerous leech that intends to suck EAW dry until I have everything that I’ve come for. I’m sorry to say this, but I think you’re a bit confused because unlike this comparison that you have of me, I believe my comparison of you is quite reality.

See, the man that was erased from this company that I compared you to does share quite the resemblance to you, because you share so many qualities together. You both believed that you were victims that were being brought down by the system that runs things here, when in reality, it’s just your fragile egos can’t handle it when things don’t go according to plan. Both of you like to fire your shots that you think makes you edgy and cool with the people of EAW, when in reality, it just makes you look like people who are trying so damn hard to think of something interesting to get the support of the people. Have them pat you right on the back, tell you that you deserve to be the world champion, and that everything will be okay once it happens. Last, but certainly not least, you both shared that bold confidence that made you believe that you were the invulnerable and that everyone should be honored to be in a ring with you, with the truth being that no one could even care about what you were doing. You were once the guy that everyone wanted to pay attention to, Xavier… ONCE! Until you decided to blame everyone else for your problems and not take a good hard look in the mirror to realize why you’ve truly been unable to attain championship gold, you were a threat to many people and needed to be watched. However, what are you now? You’re a mess. A man that relies on taking shots that would be able to make him seem like he’s calling someone out or shining some light on some grand conspiracy in EAW, but you just look like a spoiled brat that got in trouble and is now trying to cover his tracks. You can continue to echo this lunacy that was taught down to the man that you’re attempting to be a duplicate of, but just know that it will get you the same exact thing that he was left with… disappointment.

One thing that has been mentioned is what will happen if I lose? I told the world that I didn’t hide behind some sort of shield or make an excuse for what has happened during my reign as champion and now, people believe that if I ever lost my World Heavyweight Championship that I will raise this shield up. Well, that night won’t ever happen, but let me simply entertain this absurd idea that’s been tossed around. If that night was to come around and for some reason, one of these unimpressive men were able to steal my prize away from me, I would accept that defeat and live with it. I know, quite a shocker, right? Why would I do that when I could easily say that Xavier Williams being placed in this match made me unprepared or it had to be a match with no disqualifications or count-outs for them to win? Honestly, because they would be doing what I’ve done for nearly the past six months. The person who’s able to beat me for this championship will have taken the message that I’ve been telling the world for that amount of time and listened to it! They will have done anything and everything they could possible do to me to walk out of there with my championship, earning the right to hold it, until I make my return to claim it for myself once again! Jamie O’Hara, Xavier Williams, Grand Rampage will be a fight between all three of us in the middle of that ring. Every single one of us want to be recognized as the World Heavyweight Champion and make our march to the biggest stage possible at Pain for Pride X, but only one will be able to. Mark my words on this night that when that bell rings, I’m will do whatever I have to do to be able to win. If I have to charge at one of you and start throwing punches, if I have to remove myself from the equation and force you two to duke it out until the right moment I can strike, and if I have to endure through the rigors and tortures that you both have planned out for me in this match… then that’s the price that I shall pay happily.

For all of that, it’s the cost you must pay to be able to hold the prestigious title of EAW World Heavyweight Champion.

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