EAW Presents: The Trial Ep 3 - Let's Play Trivia

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EAW PRESENTS: THE TRIAL. “Let’s Play EAW Trivia!”

(We continue where we left off from the post-Elimination party as it rages on. Highlights of the eventful night are shown as most of the cast is involved -- all except Dark Demon, Cameron Ella Ava, Xavier Williams and Maria who sit in their room, annoyed.)

Tyler Parker: (can be heard from outside.) LET’S KEEP THIS SHIT GOING ALL NIGHT! AFTER AN ARENA LIKE THAT I’M NOT GOING TO STOP CELEBRATING YET!

Cast: WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Cameron Ella Ava: Un-freaking-believable.

Dark Demon: Oh, I can believe it, I just didn’t want to see it. Tyler is a fucking cockroach. Hard to get rid of him.

Dark Demon IC: Should’ve known that ol’ Bust of The Year Candidate Carlos wouldn’t be able to send that bum packing. The thought would have been nice but at the end of the day it’s definitely going to take a far better opponent to take out Tyler and Tarah.

Xavier Williams: We can get rid of him, we just need the right opportunity. Keep in mind how good Tarah is as well, the two are just now clicking so we’re going to need to rely on more than just one good competitor. We need a uniform team to send into the Arena.

Cameron Ella Ava: You’re right Xav. We can’t mess around next time. We might need to put those two on the back burner for now and focus on others. We can peel away at their alliances first.

Dark Demon: Sounds like a good plan to me.

Xavier Williams: How would we go about it though?

Maria: We infiltrate. Get in the “know”. Nick has been talking to me about teaming up for days now. With how chatty he is he definitely has some connections that we’d be able to use to our advantage.

Dark Demon: We seriously have to entertain NICK of all people?

Maria: He’s a good competitor and a real nice guy, give him a chance, at least so we can see what he can do for us.

Dark Demon: Maria, I swear to you, if I have to hear that fucker’s voice I will knock his teeth down his throat.

Cameron Ella Ava: Oh, will you stop? >.>

Dark Demon: -sighs- Whatever, if it would work then sure.

(An absolutely hammered TLA enters into the room stumbling.)

TLA: Ayo, what the fuck fam? Why you sittin’ here stewing around? The party is crazy out there!

Xavier Williams: I’d rather not.

Cameron Ella Ava: Second.

TLA: Stop being such buzz kills and enjoy yourselves for once. We got that good music going, the drank is flowin’ and we’re straight up feastin’ right now.

Dark Demon: Drinks? Ah, screw it, I’ll come out. I’m sure enough shots will blur up some of their ugly mugs anyway.

Maria: I suppose I’ll come too.

Maria IC: Parties like this are huge as far as social game is concerned. After a misfire on my part nominating Tyler and Tarah, I have to try and rebuild some of those bridges.

(We head over to poolside as most of the cast is lounging around, drinking, dancing or swimming. Aria Jaxon tries to join in the pool as suddenly Chris stops here.)

Chris Elite: Hey now Aria, read the sign we put there. No girls in the pool while clothed.

Aria Jaxon: Why is it every time I think we’re cool you have to take it too far with something like that?

Chris Elite: I’m hoping that you’ll eventually come around.

Aria Jaxon: Keep waiting on that. It might be a while.

Phoenix Winterborn: OOOHHHHHHH! Man, she got you there.

Chris Elite: Did anybody say you could jump in? No, so shut up.

Phoenix Winterborn: I’m kidding, geez.

Chris Elite IC: People need to quit doubting me. I showed during the last challenge I know what it takes to get by. I can win this; I know I can and maybe when this is all over Aria can finally see what’s been in front of her the whole time and get with a real winner.

Matt Miles: (swims toward them) Remember boys, try not to get too messy here. No hangovers. Our minds need to be clear for the next challenge, we have to get a win in our camp somehow.

Phoenix Winterborn: Agreed.

Chris Elite: Don’t have to tell me twice. I got this for us.

Phoenix Winterborn: Don’t count me out either, I could pull it off.

Chris Elite: Heh, you sure about that? I’ve been seeing you and Cailin, dude. You two are barely on the same page.

Matt Miles: Still better off than me. With the way our team is doing, I’m not even sure if me and So’Shy are even reading the same book.

Phoenix Winterborn: Well here is your chance to work things out, here she comes!

Matt Miles: Ugh...Hey! HEY! Shy, wanna take a dip in the pool!

So’Shy: You’d like that wouldn’t you! You want me to get in that pool so you and your buddies can oogle at me all night! Well, no thank you! I’d rather be by myself than be stared at like an object. Hmph.

(So’Shy walks off as Matt Miles stares on in confusion.)

Matt Miles:....What the hell was that?

Chris Elite: At least you tried.

Phoenix Winterborn: That’s what you get for trying to to objectify her.

Matt Miles: Phoenix, I swear to God.

(Phoenix and SK laugh much to Matt’s annoyance as we then switch over to the house bar with Nasir handling drinks.)

Nasir: Who is next? A beer for my boy Aren over here! Martini for the lovely Cailin -- uh, Tarah, I think you’ve had enough!

Tyler Parker: Nah, let the girl drink! Come on! Was a stressful Arena!

Tyler Parker IC: It took me a few hours but I finally got Tarah to unwind and join in! Let me tell you, the floodgates have been opened! Tarah is sort of a lightweight in all honesty so the main reason I kept letting her drink was more just because I wanted to see how she would act. (laughs)

Tarah Nova: (slurred) You listen here…...NAAAASSSSirrr…...I will TELL YOU when I have had enough, OKAY?

Kenny Drake: I say let the woman drink.

Aren Mstislav: Yeah Nas, don’t be such a pip.

Nasir Capitani:I swear, If I had a dime for every time someone didn’t put respeck on my name, I’d have.

Tarah: Z-ZERO! Zero dimes, like your title reign number, we get it…..

Aren Mstislav: OH SHIT!

Kenny Drake: Burn!

Azumi Goto: She got you there.

Nasir Capitani: You’re going to do me like that Tarah? Aight. I’m just not even going to bother. I’ll keep pouring.

Cailin Dillon: I think I like drunk Tarah.

Ashlynne Black: For once I’m not the mess.

Y2Impact: (shouting from afar) YOU STILL ARE A MESS ASHLYNNE! YOU’RE TERRIBLE!

Ashlynne Black: (sadly looks down) Oh.

TLA: I brought us some more people, holmes!

(TLA enters the scene with Maria and Demon as immediately some faces turn sour.)

Dark Demon: (sits down) Get me all the beer you can give me, buddy.

Tyler Parker: This motherfucker here…...

Autumn Raven: Uh oh….

Dark Demon: Calm down Tyler, I don’t want any issues.

Tyler Parker: Well you for sure are going to get some.

Dark Demon: And why is that? I didn’t win the challenge. I didn’t personally send you in.

Tarah Nova: Yeah, he’s right, it’s --(Points at Maria)- THIS GIRL’S FAULT RIGHT HERE! I thought we were friends Maria!

Maria: Me and Xavier did what was in our best interest. Nothing personal.

Tarah Nova: By best interest do you mean being a dirty, rotten, backstabber! Well guess what, WE WON! So that blew up in your face….sort of like this!

(Tarah splashes her drink in Maria’s face as right away the cast and crew get between them.)

TLA: AW YEAH! CAT FIGHT! CAT FIGHT!

Nasir Capitani: Let those two go at it!

Tyler Parker: GET HER, TARAH!

Cailin Dillon IC: From True Vixens to The Trial, this statement rings true. Vixens and Alcohol just don’t mix. Put those two together and it’s like World War 3 no matter what.

Maria: OH! You wanna be like that, huh Tarah! OKAY! OKAY! Get off me, I’m not going to hit her! I’m going somewhere else!

(Maria frees herself as she makes a mad dash back to the house, heading right to the room of Tarah Nova as Cloud and Haruna are already in there resting.)

Stephanie: Woah, what are you doing!

Maria: This has nothing to do with you Cloudy, stay out of this!

(Maria goes digging through the drawers as she grabs everything she can.)

Maria: Tarah wants to be mad? I’ll give her a reason to be mad!

Stephanie: Chill out!

Haruna: (half-heartedly) Oh no, please don’t take Tarah’s stuff….

Haruna IC: Tarah’s a good player and all but I’m not exactly going to be up in arms over anything that could serve as an inconvenience to her.

Maria IC: So much for trying to improve my social game tonight.

(Maria has her arms full of Tarah’s belongings as she heads out and makes her way back to poolside, tossing all of them into the pool as some of the cast still is swimming inside.)

Phoenix Winterborn: Well that is going to make things worse…..

Matt Miles: Not like I’m going to complain about a rift in the house.

Aria Jaxon: Yall don’t know how to act I swear -- CHRIS, PUT THAT BRA BACK, I SEE YOU!

Chris Elite: I was just going to help take the stuff out, ease up.

Tarah Nova: Is she serious right now? Is she really trying to mess with the leader of the Vixens division like that --

Tyler Parker: Tarah, forget about it. We can worry later, right now how about we get some sleep!

(Tyler guides Tarah back to her room as Tarah drags her feet, still heavily disoriented as she rambles on, drifting away from her original topic.)

Tyler Parker: Now I see why you don’t drink much, Jesus Christ….

Tarah Nova: You know, I’d make a WAAAAYYY better Harley Quinn than that Margret -- Margot….whatever her name is...I would have done good right?

Tyler Parker: Yeah, I’m sure you would. Now lay down.

Tarah Nova: Fine….night. (cuddles up in bed next to her Mr. DEDEDE plushie.)

Tyler Parker: You guys take care of her, ok? I need her in tip top shape for next challenge.

Stephanie: We got you, Ty.

Haruna: I’d promise you my assistance but I’m much more worried about getting some rest myself.

Stephanie: Haruna!

Haruna: Would you like for me to lie?

(Tyler Parker walks off as we take one more look at poolside where Kenny Drake is looking on. He helps with Cailin in picking up Tarah’s belongings but suddenly jumps.)

Kenny Drake: Wait! What the -- NO!

Cailin Dillon: What’s the matter, Kenny?

(Kenny’s eyes widen as he realizes that his medication got mixed in with the items and is now spilling out into the bottom of the pool.)

Kenny Drake: Urg….nothing, nothing, I had thought I saw something.

Cailin Dillon: Really? What could you have seen that would make you worry like that?

Kenny Drake: I don’t know, whatever I thought I saw was freaky, ok?

Cailin Dillon IC: I don’t know about Kenny sometimes, I know he’s quirky and a bit of a jokester but sometimes he can be flat out strange.

Kenny Drake IC: Well….FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! Maria took out my medication too when she went through the drawers and now they’re all in the water! Who knows if they’re salvageable with how far they sunk! I NEED those! I need them bad! I can already hear the voice in my head...talking to me…...telling me how to play. Hopefully I can show some restraint or else my cover could be blown and the wolf will pop out of it’s sheep’s clothing.

Nasir: Well guys, I think that’s a sign to close up shop! No more drinks, might as well end the party and hit the hay!

Y2Impact: About time…..

Y2Impact IC: Based on these past few days I can safely say that most of my opponents are a bunch of drunken, sloppy, unstrategic, idiots. The partying is irritating but at the end of the day I can’t be mad because I’m sure it’ll end up costing them in the long run when they got to compete tomorrow.

Y2Impact: HBG, you or me. One of us has to win the challenge tomorrow.

HBG: I’ll try. Me and Aren could pull it off but I don’t know.

Y2Impact: Light a fire under that kid’s ass, yell at him, make him get motivated. Do whatever you need to do tomorrow to get him to go that extra mile.

HBG: We better go to bed Imp, the sun should be coming up soon.

Y2Impact: Yeah, we should.

(The two head off along with the rest of the cast as the night ends and we are taken to morning time with the cast all either conversing in their rooms or enjoying breakfast. The camera focuses on Azumi as she’s having breakfast with Stephanie Matsuda.)

Azumi: Is it me or is someone in the house getting a bit cocky?

Stephanie: Oh.. you mean?...

Azumi: YES, you know what i mean.

Stephanie: Well.. you can’t blame her. I would be on cloud nine if I was her. She won the first challenge, that itself would give you an ego boost.

Azumi: I just don’t know why she would do that to Tarah. Tarah of all people! She’s the kindest person on earth. She’s just been such an egomaniac lately.

Stephanie: I don’t know what to tell you, girl.

Azumi IC: It just rubs me the wrong way knowing that this woman who we’ve all known for years can change attitudes so quickly. I love Maria and trust me, everyone else does but she’s acting so shady. She doesn’t even greet us in the morning anymore. She just goes straight to Xavier’s room and it’s clear that she doesn’t want to speak to us anymore.

(Maria walks into the kitchen to grab a glass of water as both Stephanie and Azumi put a halt to their conversation. Maria notices it immediately and she hurries as she grabs her drink.)

Maria (As she’s exiting the room.): What’s up with people talking shit nowadays, damn.

Azumi: (She quickly looks up and yells towards Maria’s direction.) IT’S NOT CALLED TALKING SHIT, IT’S CALLED STATING FACTS.

(Maria continues to walk as Azumi follows right behind her.)

Azumi: You don’t just make your little snarky remarks and think you’re going to leave without having anything said back. Do you know who I am?

Maria: How about you just walk back to your little lesbian party and get the hell out of my face! I don’t know what your deal is, Azumi, jealousy is a powerful thing.

Azumi: JEALOUSY?! You’re joking, right?

Maria: (As she takes a sip.) The only joke around here is your first challenge performance, nuff said.

(Azumi is shocked at the comment she just heard and smacks the drink right out of Maria’s hand. Cast and crew get in between them but Azumi makes it clear that no violence will occur.)

Azumi IC: I’m not going to let this roach get the best of me. If she wants to talk crap then so be it. I was just stating my opinion and I’ll do that again and again if I have to.

Maria: You serious? GET THIS BITCH OUT OF HERE. You’re nothing but a liar! You’ll lie to my face and say that we’re friends then you’re doing this??

Azumi: You stabbed one of your best friends in the back, how should we take your word seriously? You’re a snake, Maria.

Maria: IT’S CALLED PLAYING THE GAME, AZUMI, I’M SORRY YOU’RE SO BAD AT IT!

(Azumi rolls her eyes as she exits the scene. Maria is shown standing next to Cameron and Haruna, trying to comfort her.)

Cameron IC: It’s clear that the fact that we have no communication with anyone outside of this house, the lack of electronics, the lack of just being able to go out is getting to some people. Azumi is starting to crack and we’re all going to witness this trainwreck.

(The girls attending shifts as some screams are heard from the front porch.)

Haruna: Oh god, what now?

(Kenny Drake is shown with his shirt off as veins are pulsing out of his neck. He is throwing furniture around as Chris Elite tries to intervene.)

Chris: YO! YO YO YO YO YO YOU GOTTA CHILL BROTHA!

Kenny: IF ONLY THAT STUPID, ILL LOOKING, BUG INFESTED BITCH WOULDN’T HAVE THROWN AWAY MY SHIT, THEN THIS WOULDN’T BE HAPPENING!

HBG: Someone needs to get this guy a muzzle.

Kenny: OH, HAHAHAHA. THAT’S SOOO FUNNY! OH MY GOD, I'M DYING WITH LAUGHTER! MY STOMACH IS ABOUT TO BURST DUE TO HOW MUCH I'M LAUGHING. HAHA! DOES IT LOOK LIKE I’M FUCKING LAUGHING RIGHT NOW?

HBG: HEY. Do you know who you’re talking to? Fucking wackjob.

Stephanie: WHOAAA, KENNY! What are you doing?!

Kenny: OH MY GOD! KENNAYYY, WHAT CHA DOIN’??? YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I’M DOING CLOUDY? HUH? THIS IS WHAT I’M FUCKING DOING!

(Kenny grabs an innocent wooden chair that’s next to him and he throws it with full force towards the wall. The crew begin to surround Kenny as Chris attempts to intervene once more.)

Kenny: I DON’T THINK YOU ALL REALIZE HOW I LIKE NONE OF YOU. YOU’RE ALL CRAZY PEOPLE.

Chris: KENNY! RELAX, BRO! YOU HAVE TO CHILL!

Kenny: WHO ARE YOU, EVEN? WHO SENT YOU, HUH? I can’t handle being in the same room as you all for twenty-four hours. I need to talk to producers and get the FUCK out of here!

Stephanie: NO, Kenny, don’t you dare say that!

(Kenny angrily walks towards the producers room as a worried Stephanie Matsuda follows.)

Stephanie: KENNY, Kenny, oh god don’t grab that young intern by his collar! Kenny… KENNY! STOP!

Kenny: I’M SO TIRED! (He bursts into tears.) I JUST WANT TO SLEEP, DAMN IT!

Stephanie: (towards producers.) y’all got any sleeping medication?! Roofies?! Anything to get this mother fucker to sleep!

(The scene fast forwards to later in the night as the house seems to be peaceful. Everything has calmed down. The cast members are sitting amongst each other in an awkward silence as Haruna Sakazaki walks into the room with the Samsung Galaxy 7 Edge in her hand.)

Haruna: Hey everyone, we got a message from Starr! (The room begins to liven up a little as some cheers are heard.) It says, I hope your first weekend in the trial house was fun but not it’s time for business. Meet me at the beach wearing your swimsuits and your protective gear. Make sure to get your rest because you’re going to need your brain tomorrow!

Aria IC: The text itself is pretty straightforward but at the same time it’s vague. All I know is that Chris and I have to compete at our best tomorrow. We were okay in the first challenge but tomorrow we have to exceed everyone’s expectations - even our own.

Demon (Towards Xavier.): Using our brain… maybe more puzzles?

Xavier: I have no idea.. Hey, hand me that puzzle guidebook. Wouldn’t hurt to practice in the meantime.

(The camera then shows Tarah Nova sitting outside with Tyler Parker.)

Tyler: We gotta win tomorrow, if we don’t we could possibly be thrown in again.

Tarah: I know.. I really wanted to enjoy myself here but there are too many snakes in the grass to even do that.

Tyler: We came close last time to being first but this time around that’s not an option. We either get the W tomorrow or we’re losers. It doesn’t matter if we get second place, or third place - if we’re not the Power Couple then we’re the losers. It’s as simple as that.

Tarah IC: I really like the fact that Tyler is serious about this competition because in a way, it forces me to be serious about it. It forces me to actually give it my all. I couldn’t have chosen a better partner.

Tarah: I still feel a bit hungover though.

Tyler (As he’s getting up.) Yup, never letting you do that again.

(The night ends and the next morning continues. The cast are shown waking up from their peaceful slumber as they begin to get ready for their next challenge. They are shown getting into their designated busses and traveling to their next location. The finally arrive and they all exit accordingly and stand in their spot as they wait for Starr to emerge. Starr begins to walk towards the cast and they all begin to applaud.)

Starr: Please, save the applauses! Welcome ladies and gents to your second challenge on this season of The Trial.

(The cast is going wild as Starr’s smile fades and he begins to get serious.)

Starr: Before I begin to explain the challenge that lies ahead, we have to attend a serious matter.

Maria IC: Don’t tell me someone else is getting kicked out. Well - actually that’d be better because it’d be less competitors, yay!

Stephanie IC: I’m sweating bullets right now. I hope Kenny’s little outburst last night wasn’t bad enough to send us home. God, help us.

Starr: I heard a little rumor that someone wants to go home…

……

Starr: Kenny, last night you were stating that you wanted to talk to producers because you wanted to go home. Is that your final decision?

(Stephanie turns back towards Kenny who is shown in a groggy, tired state. The cast looks at one another waiting for Kenny’s response… and then the show cuts to a commercial break!)

AD: Are you tired of no one taking you seriously? Do you want to have an outburst so bad but you don’t want that much negative attention focused on you? Well, now with Mr. Passive Aggressive himself, you TOO can learn how to piss off your opponents without saying much. Enroll online for your class today!

(The trial comes back from commercial break as it picks up where it left off.)

Starr: So? What’s it gonna be, Kenny?

Kenny: …..

….
………

Kenny: After much thought and consideration… I…

Stephanie IC: Well, it was nice knowin’ ya! I’m about to whoop Kenny’s ass if he even DARES to say that he wants to go home.

Kenny:.... First off I want to apologize about last night. I had an angry outburst that shouldn’t be forgiven. Chris, I saw the footage last night and thanks for interfering. Steph, love you girl. But… Those comments were just in the moment type of thing and I certainly don’t want to leave and have my partner be disappointed in me. So no, Starr, i don’t want to leave.

(The cast begins to applaud as Stephanie reaches up and hugs Kenny.)

Starr: Alright! That’s exactly what I wanted to hear, Kenny.

Stephanie: HALLELUJAH! THE GOD HAS SPOKEN!

Starr: Alright guys, today’s challenge is called “Let’s play some EAW trivia!” To begin, either you or your partner will each take an individual role. One of you will be tasked with answering questions right here on land with me while the other...

(Starr motions behind him)

Starr: Will be dangling 30 feet in the air above water, hanging on by 3 separate ropes. These ropes represent the amount of chances you get in this challenge. With each question you get wrong, the dangler will have one of their ropes cut. Once you get three questions wrong…..into the water you go and the both of you are out of the challenge. This will happen until only one team is left remaining as Power Team. You have thirty seconds to decide which of you will be doing what, GO!

SoShy IC: So.. I’m either going to die due to Matt’s stupidity or I’m going to kill him with my lack of EAW knowledge. We’re overall fucked.

Cailin IC: By just looking at how tall the structure really is it’s making me regret ever coming on this show. I think I’m gonna let Phoenix take that role.

Chris Elite: *mutters* one, two, three…...NOT IT! Aria, you gotta go up there!

Aria Jaxon: What!? No! Can you even answer the questions?

Chris Elite: Of course I can! Just go!

Aria Jaxon IC: Chris better know what he’s doing, I am not about to fall thirty feet and drown because this boy wanted to look smart.

Autumn Raven: (Towards TLA) What are you feeling comfortable with?

TLA: Honestly, I don’t remember what I ate for breakfast. I think I’ll be better off dangling from that shit, holmes.

Stephanie: (Towards Kenny) What are you thinkin’ Kenny?

Kenny: (As he’s off staring at the distance.) ….

Stephanie: Kenny?

Kenny: ….

Stephanie: KENNY!

Kenny: Yeah, I can answer the questions - or whatever. No way in hell I’m going to be up there. Nope.

Nick Angel: Well, uh, you see Haruna I would go up in the air but right now I’m nursing an injury. The positioning would be real awkward, I may aggravate something, you know?

Haruna: Yes….I know.

Haruna IC: Of course I will be the one doing the handy work.

Y2Impact: I’ll answer the questions Ashlynne, can’t risk you ruining our chances of victory with your stupid idiocy.

Ashlynne Black: I’m going to try to ignore that.

Ashlynne IC: Today is a new day, it’s a new challenge...positive thoughts, positive thoughts.

Heart Break Gal: I can answer the questions if you want.

Aren Mstislav: Yeah, sure, sounds great. I guess.

HBG IC: Me and Aren really have had trouble chemistry wise as a team, we work well but the communication is awkward to say the least. Maybe if I go out of my way to take the lead and do well, he’ll know to trust me and we can start to click.

(Xavier and Nas both let their partners take the questioning as they right away go for their gear as meanwhile Cameron Ella Ava is getting ready to be roped up while Demon remains on the ground. Before she leaves, Demon shoves the helmet onto her head by surprise.)

Demon: Good luck up there gorgeous, better hope I don’t answer wrong.

Cameron: Yeah, you better hope you don’t answer wrong either for your sake.

Cameron IC: If Demon purposely gets his answer wrong JUST to send me in the water I’m never talking to him again. PERIOD.

Starr Stan: Now that roles have been decided and the danglers are all tied up, it is time for round one to begin. The first round will include six teams. The order has been randomized. Let’s get this done!

(The cast applauds as they all take their designated spots. In the first round the teams that will be competing are; Cailin and Phoenix, Y2impact and Ashlynne, Aria and Chris, Nick and Haruna, TLA and Autumn, and Matt and So’Shy. The players who are answering the trivia questions are standing on a podium that’s placed in the middle of the beach. The other players, however, are harnessed on the structure by their lower half as they lay on the ground. The structure begins to move upwards and the competitors begin to dangle from their feet.

Cailin IC: I can feel the blood rushing to my head and I immediately start feeling sick to my stomach. Maybe it wasn’t the smartest move choosing to be up here.

Chris Elite IC: I see Aria up there and all I’m thinking is how angry she’d be having to go into that water. Time to turn that fear into motivation!

Y2Impact IC: I’m obviously the most intelligent of all the competitors so I’m expecting this challenge to be a breeze.

Starr Stan: Ok, you guys are ready? When I ask this question you will have a minute to write down what you believe is the correct answer on the whiteboard given to you. Once your time is up you’ll have to show what you wrote and we’ll see who gets to keep all three of their rope pieces. Now, first question let’s start with something easy that every single one of you should know: What was the Main Event of Pain For Pride 1?

Cailin: (As she mumbles to herself.) Oh shit, I didn’t know we had to go way back.

Y2Impact: (As he’s writing.) Whoever gets this wrong needs to quit and leave EAW, ASAP.

Cailin: Easy for you to say, weren’t you a part of it?

Y2impact: (As he yells towards the structure.) YOU CAN ALREADY GUESS WHO’S GOING TO GET THEIR ROPE CUT, ISN’T THAT RIGHT PHOENIX?

Autumn IC: I’d be lying if I said that I knew. I’m just going to have to wing it.

TLA: (From the structure) COME ON AUTUMN! WE GOT THIS BABY!

So’Shy IC: It’s almost bittersweet if you get an answer right. If you get it right then cool, you have a chance at winning but at the same time that means that you have to endure this incredibly terrifying experience even longer.

Chris Elite: Could it be him? No….that wouldn’t make sense -- UGH! (erases whiteboard and rewrites)

Nick Angel: Hmmm…. It’s been awhile since I’ve watched that event but hopefully I’m right. Memory, don’t fail me now.

Starr: TIMES UP! Put your pens down! Everyone, show your answer. The correct answer for this first question is… A triple threat WHC championship match between CIC vs MVM vs JJay.

(The team members show their answer and the camera pans through all of them.)

Y2Impact: Pfft. Easy…..Nick, how in the world would you think Chainstein and Cuck Fena main evented?

Nick Angel: I never completely watched the DVD, okay!?

Starr Stan: Too bad for you then because that means it’s going to cost your team a rope. Cailin, you seemed to not have got the answer either.

Cailin: Jay vs DDD seemed like a sure thing at the time!

Autumn: Yeah, it made sense to me.

Starr: Too bad it wasn’t. Well, not bad for me since I get to watch -- CUT THE ROPES BOYS!

(A rope is cut from Phoenix and TLA’s harnesses as well as Aria and Haruna’s as she shouts inaudible threats to Nick.)

Haruna IC: Not at all a good start. Maybe he’ll find a way to stop being terrible though.

Phoenix IC: Aw man….

Starr Stan: As a recap, Impact and Matt Miles got the question right. Haruna, Chris, Cailin and Nick got the answer incorrectly. Time for our second round of questioning! Former EAW competitors EOE and Gabriel Eden appeared on what show together?

Matt: (He begins to laugh as he writes.) Was Bailey a show or a person? I don’t remember.

Chris Elite: This is going to be a sure thing. (begins to write)

Autumn: Fuck! Who are they? These names aren’t clicking!

Cailin: Oh! RIGHT! (She begins to write vigorously.)

Y2Impact: The fact that these sleezeballs are mentioned makes me sick.

Nick: (he begins to ponder and looks up towards Haruna.)

Haruna: BAKA! Kakikomi o kaishi! Watashiwomite wa ikemasen!

Nick: Oh… I LOVE YOU TOO, HARU! (He gleefully begins to write.)

Starr: PUT YOUR PENS DOWN! Show us the answers… What? You ALL answered To Catch a Predator??! WRONG! THE ANSWER IS REASONABLE DOUBT CUT THE ROPES!

Ashlynne: IMPACT! YOU MORON! DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? OH MY GOD! I’M GOING TO FALL! ASLFALSFK

Phoenix: YOU REALLY THOUGHT THIS WAS THE GREATEST TIME TO SHOW YOUR COMEDIC SIDE, CAILIN?!

Aria: Y’ALL GONNA HAVE ME HAVE A HEART ATTACK. THIS IS NOT FUN!

Haruna: Only 1 rope left for me then….

Phoenix: Me too. CAILIN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GET THE NEXT ONE RIGHT!

Cailin: SHUT UP PHOENIX! Jesus christ!

Cailin IC: As the week goes by, I don’t seen an improvement with Phoenix and I. We just don’t like each other. Simple as that.

Starr Stan: Now, everyone has lost at least one rope, Phoenix and Cailin, Nick and Haruna, you two teams only have one more rope left as we head into round three. Time to begin: Who was the first person to hold the newly rechristened Pure Championship back in 2014?

Y2Impact: You’ve practically handed us this one!

Autumn: Ah, geez…..

Nick Angel: Time to guess! Best of luck for us, Haruna!

Haruna IC: (rubbing her temples) -sigh- I can’t even right now.

Starr Stan: Time to lock in those answers guys! The correct answer there was Ryan Savage!

Chris Elite: Hold on -- THAT BUM!?

Aria Jaxon: CHRIS YOU BETTER STOP PLAYING GAMES WITH THESE ANSWERS!

Chris: DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT, CUTIE. I GOT IT RIGHT, I WAS JUST MAKING SURE!

Autumn: I swear it was Jacob Steele, I remember he had that face paint or whatever!

TLA IC: Autumn made two mistakes, one she got the first champ wrong and two she wasted one of our ropes believing in Steele, not just Steele but SEPHIROTH!

Nick Angel: I actually got that one right, sweet!

Cailin Dillon: Oh thank God, still in this!

Y2Impact: Wha….how...IMPOSSIBLE! That answer can’t be right!

Ashlynne IC: Imp was Voltage GM and still couldn’t put down the right answer. But I guess my stupid idiocy would have costed us.

Starr: CHRIS, CAILIN, NICK AND MATT GOT THE ANSWERS RIGHT! That means that Y2Impact and Autumn got their answers wrong. CUT THE ROPE, BOYS!

(Each rope is cut from the losing teams when suddenly TLA takes a harsh tumble in the water.)

Starr: TLA, AUTUMN, YOU GUYS ARE OUT!

(TLA swims back to shore as Autumn goes near him. They are both then shown speaking directly to the camera.)

TLA: It is what it is. We couldn’t get it done and now we’re officially seen as the weakest team.

Autumn: I definitely feel that I am at fault for this one. I’m sorry for letting you down, TLA.

TLA: (shrugs)

Starr: ONTO OUR NEXT QUESTION! Nick, Y2Impact, Cailin, Chris - you guys HAVE to get this right or you’re all going into the water. Matt, right now you’re in the lead. The following question is.. What was the tagline for EAW when it was Extreme Answers Wrestling?

Y2Impact: Got it.

Cailin: Um… oh fuck.

…..

Starr: ALRIGHT! TIMES UP! The correct answer is… Where Extremists Are Born and Hardcore Legends Are Created. Let’s see the answers!

Y2Impact: WHAT? EXTREMISTS? Not… right! DAMN IT. I PUT ELITISTS.

Cailin: Oh damn! I thought it was “EAW is the place to be.” I swear I’ve heard that before!!!

Haruna: OH GOD! NICK YOU GOT IT RIGHT! YOU GOT IT RIGHT!!!

Nick: This is why you gotta believe in me, Haru!! ^.^

So’Shy: MATT! YOU IDIOT! YOU FORGOT TO INCLUDE HARDCORE IN YOUR TAGLINE! EVEN I KNEW THAT!

Matt: THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD’VE CHOSEN TO BE DOWN HERE INSTEAD OF DANGLING UP THERE LIKE THE WORTHLESS PIECE OF MEAT YOU ARE!

Chris: I’m so sorry, Aria!! I hope you enjoy your swim at least! Sad

(Phoenix, Aria and Ashlynne’s ropes are cut and they all tumble into the water. Haruna and So’Shy are the only two remaining individuals.)

Matt IC: I’m very pleased as to how this turned out. No matter what, someone from our alliance is winning the heat, perfect.

(Matt is shown walking towards Nick as he whispers something in his ear.)

Matt: “Remember the plan, Nick. You got this.”

Starr: NOW ONTO THE FINAL QUESTION! Whoever gets this right will win for their heat and at the end will go against the winner of the second heat to battle it out for the Power Couple position. Please complete this phrase… IfShe10….

(They both write down their answer quickly.)

Starr: ALRIGHT! Times up! Let’s see the answers!

Matt: IfShe10I’m...A Pedophile?

So’Shy: Are you kidding me?! YOU’RE JOKING RIGHT? WHERE’S YOUR REAL ANSWER?

Nick: IFSHE10IM10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Starr: (His bullhorn goes off) Matt, that answer is incorrect. CUT THE ROPES! NICK, YOU ON THE OTHER HAND ARE RIGHT! You are the winner of the first heat! Congratulation, guys!

Haruna IC: The fact that we won was amazing itself. I’m very happy my body didn’t have to meet the water.

So’Shy: (As she’s swimming back to shore.) YOU’RE SUCH A FUCKING MORON!

Matt: Do you not realize that someone from our alliance JUST won our first heat? What are you bitching about?!

So’Shy: YOU HONESTLY TRUST THAT WEASEL? THE GUY THAT THINKS HE’S FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE?

Matt: I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING. SHUT UP. AND KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN!

So’Shy IC: This fucker needs to ASK ME FIRST whether I’m cool with him obviously throwing a challenge. I’m just so pissed off right now. I don’t trust Nick nor Haruna. They’re both spineless weasels that need to be kicked off of this show as soon as possible.

(Nick and Haruna are both standing in front of the camera after the first heat.)

Nick: I’m just happy I didn’t let Haru down, she’s the person that I need the most support from.

(Haruna and Nick share an awkward hug as the camera pans back to Starr.)

Starr: Time for the second heat. The teams that will be performing are… Aren and HBG, Kenny and Stephanie, Tarah and Tyler, Cameron and Demon and Xavier and Maria!

(The teams split as each member takes their designated role. Some take the podium as others are strapped to the structure.)

Xavier IC: I feel extremely confident going into this. Maria and I won the last challenge and I’m sure we can do it again.

Stephanie: I couldn’t be any more worried. Kenny refused to get on the structure and he’s going to be the one answering the questions. I don’t think he’s in the right mental state to be doing that. We’re doomed.

Demon: Ha! Look, all the smart men are taking their place on the podiums while the women hang around like lunch meat in a freezer - where they belong.

HBG: Ehem.

Demon: You don’t count as a woman, HBG. I don’t recall women having pensises dangling between their legs.

HBG: Oh, fuck off. If that were true it’d be bigger than yours, anyway. Triple the size, too.

Starr: Alright! You guys ready?! The first question is….

TO

BE

CONTINUED.

Too good

What this was a great read, dope as hell.

out of the park, per the norm!

"ZERO DIMES."

So good. SO good.

Man If I don't murder Maria by the end of this shit. I WILL BE PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!

kennydrake wrote:: "ZERO DIMES."

So good. SO good.

Nasir Capitani wrote:

kennydrake wrote:: "ZERO DIMES."

So good. SO good.

What?!? It was funny!

Y'all did amazing, as usual.

Empire Posts : 747 Age : 37

Great stuff. This dude Phoenix needs to get his stuff together though

Cailin Dillon wrote:: Great stuff. This dude Phoenix needs to get his stuff together though

Aah, Nicky.... Finally!

Anyway, great read as usual. I read this thing very slowly trying to understand and just done now.