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Bad Disney Lessons SIGNUPBANNER
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Bad Disney Lessons SIGNUPBANNER


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 Bad Disney Lessons

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Bloody Jack
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PostSubject: Bad Disney Lessons   Bad Disney Lessons EmptyJune 23rd 2016, 1:01 pm

Something me and a friend of mine enjoy doing is listing off old Disney movies and the horrible morals they teach us.  I thought some of you guys might get a kick out of it, and if you wanna add something to the list, feel free.

Beauty & The Beast - If someone mistreats, that just means they care.

The Little Mermaid - A little deal with the devil never hurt anyone.

Oliver & Company - Money CAN buy you happiness.

The Fox & The Hound - It's ok to be different...so long as we NEVER have to interact with each other.

Cinderella - If your life sucks, just wait and someone will come along and fix your problems for you.

Frozen & The Lion King - It's cool if you want to run away from your problems, you can just come back to them later.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame - Even if your devoted and awesome, you won't get the guy/girl if your an ugo.

Aladdin - Lying NEVER turns out badly.
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kennydrake

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PostSubject: Re: Bad Disney Lessons   Bad Disney Lessons EmptyJune 23rd 2016, 1:31 pm

Add-On to little mermaid: 

Change yourself for a guy first chance you get, even if you've only known him for a day or two...or not at all!
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Bloody Jack
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PostSubject: Re: Bad Disney Lessons   Bad Disney Lessons EmptyJune 23rd 2016, 2:41 pm

kennydrake wrote:
Add-On to little mermaid: 

Change yourself for a guy first chance you get, even if you've only known him for a day or two...or not at all!

Excellent Mr Drake
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ThePizzaBoy
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PostSubject: Re: Bad Disney Lessons   Bad Disney Lessons EmptyJune 23rd 2016, 4:17 pm

The Parent Trap: Manipulate your parents and they'll get back together.

Homeward Bound: Keep waiting for your pets when they suddenly go 'missing' after a big move.  They're totally not dead.

Song of the South:...
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Bloody Jack
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PostSubject: Re: Bad Disney Lessons   Bad Disney Lessons EmptyJune 23rd 2016, 4:22 pm

Pirates - being a bad person is ok as long as every now and then you're good
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Lioncross
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PostSubject: Re: Bad Disney Lessons   Bad Disney Lessons EmptyJune 23rd 2016, 4:31 pm

Bambi - Hunting is bad.

Bambi - Hunters are bad.

Bambi - Does shouldn't be hunted. As in, like, special protection because it'll make the entire biome feel sad, as opposed to when a buck gets shot.

Bambi - We should feel bad when a deer gets shot, because there totally isn't a deer overpopulation problem.

Bambi - Only you can prevent forest fi- holy shit, a GOOD lesson in Bambi exists.
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Lioncross
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PostSubject: Re: Bad Disney Lessons   Bad Disney Lessons EmptyJune 23rd 2016, 4:44 pm

101 Dalmatians - Don't listen to Bob Barker when he says to spay/neuter your pets.

The Jungle Book - Bears are friendly. So are wild primates. Same for panthers. Draw the line at tigers, though.

Ratatouille - Rats in the kitchen is a GREAT idea. Kids, go catch one from the sewer if your mom's cooking sucks!

(Damn. I knew I was a PETA hater, but this is worse/better than I thought.)
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Bloody Jack
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PostSubject: Re: Bad Disney Lessons   Bad Disney Lessons EmptyJune 23rd 2016, 7:26 pm

The Haunted Mansion - its ok to enable an actors poor choices as long as it's eddie Murphy
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PostSubject: Re: Bad Disney Lessons   Bad Disney Lessons EmptyJune 23rd 2016, 10:47 pm

Cinderella: All step relatives are bitches

Cinderella: All ugly people are mean.

Cinderella: Work and suffer hard enough and life will get better (bullshit)

Cinderella: Glass footwear is a good idea.

Cinderella: When you're trying to find your mate in life, go for someone you danced with for less than a minute.  Oh, and nevermind the fact her only friends are rats and she talks crazy shit about them turning into horses that pull a pumpkin turned into a carriage.  Yeah, that bitch ain't crazy.  Your judgement is grrrreat.
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Lioncross
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PostSubject: Re: Bad Disney Lessons   Bad Disney Lessons EmptyJune 23rd 2016, 11:23 pm

The Mighty Ducks - Service for a DUI should totally involve working closely with kids.

The Mighty Ducks - Every hockey team needs at least two forwards who are on the team solely to pick fights. (On second thought, this movie came out in 1992, and this sort of thing was common.)

The Mighty Ducks - The best way to goaltend is to eat big and naturally block the entire net.

The Mighty Ducks - Fall behind 4-0 early. You'll be fine. After all, the finish matters, not the start.
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Bloody Jack
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PostSubject: Re: Bad Disney Lessons   Bad Disney Lessons EmptyJune 24th 2016, 12:35 am

Inside Out - The voices in your head are real people so you're not really responsible for your actions
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Kurt_Burton

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PostSubject: Re: Bad Disney Lessons   Bad Disney Lessons EmptyJune 24th 2016, 9:45 am

Pocohontas-  It's totes OK to date the teenage girl when you are a grown man, as long as she is a "Savage"  It's doing her a favor really.
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PostSubject: Re: Bad Disney Lessons   Bad Disney Lessons EmptyJune 24th 2016, 10:05 am

Another one for Pocahontas is pretty much 'this is how it went down'.  The true Pocahontas story is that she saved the idiot John Smith from death out of pity and hated and resented him, but still guided him through the frontier (that is until Smith blew up his genitals while smoking with a musket between his legs and then went back home to the colonies.  Look it up.)
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Kurt_Burton

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PostSubject: Re: Bad Disney Lessons   Bad Disney Lessons EmptyJune 24th 2016, 10:09 am

Agreed on the accuracy of pocohontas, but it Disney never sticks to the source material.  Of course, I think this is the only real world thing they did though.
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PostSubject: Re: Bad Disney Lessons   Bad Disney Lessons EmptyJune 24th 2016, 5:10 pm

Sword in the Stone - Being king is awesome and fixes all your problems (Apparently Arthur never watched Game Of Thrones)
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Kurt_Burton

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PostSubject: Re: Bad Disney Lessons   Bad Disney Lessons EmptyJune 27th 2016, 8:54 pm

The Lion King-  Seriously, your problems can resolve themselves in like a day.  Take all the time you need.
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kennydrake

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PostSubject: Re: Bad Disney Lessons   Bad Disney Lessons EmptyJune 27th 2016, 9:30 pm

Pixar in general: 

"What if _________ had feelings?"
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Bloody Jack
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PostSubject: Re: Bad Disney Lessons   Bad Disney Lessons EmptyJune 28th 2016, 1:00 pm

Pinocchio - Crime really DOES pay (Seriously watch that movie again and name ONE bad guy in that film who gets what's coming to them.  Even Pinocchio who was a turd the entire time got his wish)
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PostSubject: Re: Bad Disney Lessons   Bad Disney Lessons EmptyJune 28th 2016, 3:07 pm

Up: It's OK that your father neglects you, as long as you have an equally broken elder stranger to hang out with, that neither of your parents seem to know about, while your mom's at work.
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