Event: Road to Redemption VII
Date: December 21st, 2013
Stew-O: Y2IMPACT WILL NOT GIVE UP THIS EASILY!!! IMPACT IS A FIGHTER, HE’S A WARRIOR, HE’S A SIX TIME CHAMPION FOR HIS HEART, FOR HIS GUTS, FOR HIS ABILITY TO NEVER STAY DOWN!!! STARR IS TIGHTENING THE HOLD, STARRSTAN IS GOING TO BREAK Y2IMPACTS ANKLE!!! THIS MIGHT BE THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE IMPACT QUIT, IMPACT IS SHAKING HIS HEAD, REFUSING TO TAP OUT!!! IMPACT’S EYES ARE CLOSING THOUGH, THESE MEN HAVE BEEN THROUGH HELL AND BACK, LITERALLY, IMPACT HAS GONE THROUGH HELL HIMSELF TONIGHT AND I THINK THE PAIN IS IMMERSING HIM!!! IMPACT IS TRYING TO FIGHT THIS, KICKING STARR WITH HIS FREE LEG WHILE REACHING FOR THE RAILROAD SPIKE!!! BUT ...OH GOD, IMPACTS EYES CLOSED!!! IMPACT MAY HAVE PASSED OUT FROM THE PAIN, Y2IMPACT REFUSED TO TAP OUT, REFUSED TO QUIT BUT I THINK IMPACT HAS PASSED OUT!!!!! CARLOS IS CHECKING ON IMPACT, CHECKING TO SEE IF HE IS STILL THERE IF Y2IMPACT HAS PASSED OUT, STARRSTAN WINS THE TITLE!!! CARLOS IS TRYING TO SEE IF IMPACT IS AWAKE, IF HE HAS ANYTHING LEFT IN HIM, AS STARR TIGHTENS HIS GRIP EVEN MORE!!!….AND OH MY GOD!!!! CARLOS IS CALLING FOR THE BELL!!! STARR-STAN DOES IT!!!! STARR DID IT!!!!!
( Ding! Ding! Ding! )
Ring Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner ...AND THE NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW EAW ANSWERS WORLD CHAMPIOOOOOOONNNNNNNN………..STARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR STANNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HBG: HE DID IT!!!! STARR-STAN, DESPITE ALL THE ODDS, DESPITE THE INJURIES, DESPITE THE INTERFERENCE, STARR STAN HAS DONE IT!!! WE’VE CROWNED A NEW WORLD CHAMPION!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?!!?! HE CAME WITHIN INCHES, INCHES, AT HOUSE OF GLASS, HE’S BEEN ON A MSSION EVER SINCE TO WIN THAT TITLE AND HE HAS DONE IT TONIGHT!!! STARR-STANS ROAD TO REDEMPTION HAS COME FULL CIRCLE TONIGHT!!!
...
Flashback: Tyler’s mere moments away from achieving his dream! All of the trials and tribulations he’s been put through could culminate here!! HE’S GOT IT! NO--THE LADDER’S WOBBLING! CY’S BACK IN THIS! CY’S CLIMBING THE LADDER AS TYLER TRIES TO REGAIN HIS BALANCE! CY’S UP THERE AS TYLER SWINGS! CY CATCHES TYLER WITH A RIGHT HAND! CY WITH A STEEL CHAIN IN HAND! HE NAILS TYLER WITH ANOTHER SHOT! TYLER DROPS!!! NO--TYLER MANAGES TO LAND ON HIS FEET AS HE LEANS ON THE LADDER! HE SENDS IT TOPPLING OVER!! CY CATCHES HIMSELF ON THE TOP OF THE NEAREST POD!! HE’S STILL IN THIS! HOLD ON--TYLER’S GOT THAT LADDER! HE DRIVES THE END OF IT INTO THE FACE OF CY!! Tyler quickly places the ladder across the top turnbuckle and begins climbing! Tyler pushing himself with all his might to get up there! HE’S GOT CY!! PICKING HIM UP!!! DEPRAVITY CONNECTS AS BOTH MEN CRASH THROUGH THE LADDER ACROSS THE TURNBUCKLE AND LAND ON THE CANVAS!!!!! THEY’RE DEAD! THAT’S THE END OF IT! THEY’RE DEAD AFTER THAT!!
Mak: Amazing! WWEFan’s sending several E.M.T.s out here immediately to check on both competitors following that! Per Pornfan, we might not HAVE a fucking Champion crowned! The medical staff now checking on the condition of both Cy and Tyler here.. It seems as though this is it.. Neither man is moving an inch… WWEFan now coming to check on--HOLD ON!! TYLER ROLLS OVER FOR AN ARM ACROSS THE CHEST OF CY!!! THE REFEREE’S GONNA COUNT IT!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!!!......... TWO!!!!!!!!!!!.......... THREE!!!!!!!!!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“Lies” by Evanescence plays all throughout the arena as the World Heavyweight Championship is lowered)
Announcer: THE WINNER OF THIS CONTEST AND NNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!!!!....... TYLER PAAAAAARRRRRRRKKKKEEEERRRR!!!!!!
(Tyler Parker and Cy Henderson are checked on in the ring while Kevin Devastation is escorted out of the building by security)
Flashback: I really don’t have anything that could possibly be said about this epic contest we just witnessed between six fantastic athletes! That was one of the most insane contests I have ever witnessed in my career and I have witnessed a LOT of insane contests!
(Several members of the EAW roster and backstage crew members come out to the stage to clap for Tyler Parker and all of the men who competed)
Mak: I think that speaks for itself.
(Tyler Parker refuses a stretcher as he’s helped to his feet by multiple crew members while WWEFan proudly hands over the World Heavyweight Championship to him)
Flashback: One of the most violent and passionate battles I’ve ever witnessed, bar none. Congratulations to Tyler Parker, congratulations to each and every man who put their blood, sweat, and tears into this epic match up and thank each and every one of you in attendance and watching at home for joining us for this huge night! Signing off for Mak, the Heart Break Gal, Stew-O, I’m Flashback, and this has been THE SEVENTH ANNUAL ROAD TO REDEMPTION! THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT, EVERYONE!
(Confetti begins to rain down as a hurt Tyler Parker faintly raises his World Heavyweight Championship in the air as the fans and those around the ring clap before the camera fades to black)
(EAW Logo Buzzes)
Event: Reasonable Doubt VI
Date: March 1st, 2014
Mak: GI KICKS OUT!!! HE KICKED OUT! GI KICKED OUT! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! GI’S NOT FINISHED! TYLER IS STUNNED! HE’S ARGUING WITH THE REFEREE… TYLER SEEMS FED UP! HE REMOVES HIS ELBOW PADS AND GETS BACK TO HIS FEET… Tyler trying to finish this anyway he can as he climbs up to the top turnbuckle… MOONSAULT!!! GI SPRINGS UP TO HIS FEET AND INTO THE ROPES TO FORCE TYLER TO LOSE HIS BALANCE! TYLER DROPS ON THE TOP TURNBUCKLE AS GI REFUSES TO DIE! GI MAKES HIS WAY OVER TO TYLER… CLIMBING UP THERE WITH HIM… HE LOCKS THE WAIST!!! DEADLIFT SUPERPLEX!!!! NO--TYLER FIGHTING IT! TYLER BREAKS AWAY AND TURNS HIMSELF AROUND! GI MEETS HIM WITH MULTIPLE FOREARMS! GI PICKING TYLER UP!! POSSIBLY GOING FOR A SUPER BRAINBUSTER!!! TYLER SLIPS OUT AND DROPS TO HIS FEET BETWEEN GI’S LEGS! TYLER GRABS GI AND CHARGES FORWARD!! POWERBOMB CONNECTS!!! WHAT A MOVE! NO! TYLER’S PICKING GI UP AGAIN!! A SECOND POWERBOMB CONNECTS!!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!
Masters: TYLER PICKING GI UP AGAIN?! NO WAY! THE POWER OF TYLER! HE’S GOT HIM UP!! THIRD POWERBOMB CONNECTS!!! TYLER COVERS!!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!!....... TWO!!!!!!!!!!!.......... THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“Lies” by Evanescence plays all throughout the arena as an exhausted Tyler Parker drops to the canvas next to GI Styles)
Announcer: THE WINNER OF THIS CONTEST BY PINFALL!!...... STILL E-A-W HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOOOORRRLLLDDD…. AND NEEEEEWWWW E-A-W NATIONAL EXTREME CHAMPIOOOONNN…… TYLER PAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRKKKKEEEEERRRRRR!!!!
Masters: He did it! He did it! Tyler Parker wins this phenomenal bout! What a match these two men just put on! There was no loser in that as far as I’m concerned!
Mak: Damn it to Hell, GI! I’m never gonna see that 10 dollars again because of you!
(Mr. Mikami and WWEFan help a battered Tyler Parker to his feet as Y2Impact happily hands him the World Heavyweight Championship and National Extreme Championship)
Masters: What a huge moment for this man, Tyler Parker! He’s gone the distance tonight! He’s done it once again! Tyler Parker has not only retained the World Heavyweight Championship, but he’s broken GI’s amazing 11 month reign as National Extreme Champion!
(Carlos Rosso helps GI Styles out of the ring and to his feet)
Mak: I guess I have to give credit where credit is due. These guys did put on one Hell of a match… I guess…
Masters: GI Styles may have not walked out of this one as the victor, but there is absolutely no shame in that loss. He gave this contest his everything! Hold on… GI stumbling back to the ring… Carlos helping his Dynamite Rain partner back in the ring… GI using the ropes as a crutch to help him up before he stumbles forward to meet Tyler Parker face to face… He… GI extends his hand! GI finally showing Tyler some respect tonight! Tyler manages to shake hands with GI Styles before GI takes his leave, great sportsmanship from both men!
(Tyler Parker regains his footing and proudly celebrates with his Championships as Y2Impact, Mr. Mikami, and WWEFan exit the ring to leave him to his celebration)
Mak: I’ve gotta hand it to him, Tyler earned this moment tonight.
Masters: Yes, he did very much earn this. Tyler makes history once again here tonight at Reasonable Doubt as he proudly holds up his World Heavyweight Championship and National Extreme Championship! I can’t think of a better way to end the night than this image here as Tyler climbs up to the top turnbuckle to celebrate! It’s been one heck of a night and I’d like to thank everyone who made it happen! From Reasonable Doubt here in Tokyo, Japan, signing off for Mak, I’m Masters, and thank you for joining us
(The lights go out)
Mak: Yup, fade to black and all that shit…
Masters: Wait, no, something’s wrong… What’s going on?
Mak: How the Hell should I know? I can’t see my hand in front of my face…
Masters: Hello? Are we still on the air? I can hear something going on, but I don’t see anything!
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen….
Mak: Huh?
Announcer: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS FOR THE E-A-W WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!....
Masters: What?!
(The light turn back on to show a bloodied Mikado Sekaiichi attacking Tyler Parker in the middle of the ring with a steel chair as the Hell In A Cell structure has been lowered around the ring)
Masters: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! HE CAN’T DO THIS!
Mak: ON THE CONTRARY, I THINK HE CAN!
Masters: HOW IS THIS GUY EVEN STILL WALKING AFTER THE BEATING HE TOOK?!
Mak: I DON’T KNOW, BUT HE’S BROUGHT A REFEREE AND HE’S GOT HIS KING OF EXTREME TITLE SHOT! GOOD FOR ANY TIME!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Masters: MIKADO IS JUST WAILING AWAY AT AN ALREADY BATTERED TYLER PARKER WITH THAT STEEL CHAIR IN HAND!! THIS IS SICKENING! THERE’S NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO ABOUT IT WITH THE CELL AROUND THE RING! NOBODY CAN STOP HIM! AND WHAT MAKES IT WORSE IS THAT THIS IS TECHNICALLY ALL LEGAL! MIKADO SEKAIICHI IS DENTING THAT CHAIR WITH EVERY SHOT ON TYLER!! MIKADO DROPS THE CHAIR AND HOOKS BOTH LEGS OF TYLER! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! THIS IS SICKENING!
Referee: ONE!!!!....... TWO!!!!!!!!!............ THREE!!!!!!
Mak: KICK OUT?! TYLER KICKS OUT?!
Masters: TYLER PARKER SOMEHOW KICKS OUT! HE’S SOMEHOW STILL ALIVE! MIKADO HIMSELF IS HURT! HE WANTS TO END THIS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE! Mikado signals the end here! We know what he’s going for! This is the same maneuver that defeated Jaywalker earlier! Mikado pulls up Tyler… KING’S LANDING!!!! IT MISSES!! TYLER DUCKED AND PULLS MIKADO IN FROM BEHIND?! HOW’S HE DOING THIS?! ACROSS THE PARK!!!! MIKADO ESCAPES IT AND TAKES TYLER DOWN WITH A HUGE LARIAT; TURNING THE CHAMPION INSIDE OUT! Mikado Sekaiichi looks furious as he slowly pulls himself up… Mikado… Hold on, a sinister look forming across Mikado’s face! Sekaiichi gets up and backs into the nearest corner… No, c’mon! Sekaiichi mocking the mannerisms of Mr. DEDEDE! Tyler slowly rises up to his feet…. He’s in a lot of pain, I don’t know if he can get his way out of this! HE’S UP AS MIKADO CHARGES!! SPEAR!!!!! MASSIVE SPEAR NEARLY BREAKS TYLER IN HALF! DAMN IT! NOT LIKE THIS! MIKADO HOOKS BOTH LEGS!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!........ TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!.......... THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“Hail to the King” by Avenged Sevenfold plays all throughout the arena as the Hell In A Cell structure is lifted and the Referee hands over the World Heavyweight Championship to a laughing Mikado Sekaiichi)
Masters: I can’t believe this…
Mak: I can! We’ve finally got a World Champion we can believe in! He’s a King, Masters!
Masters: This guy’s no King…
Announcer: THE WINNER OF THIS CONTEST BY PINFALL AND NEEEEEWWWWW E-A-W WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIIIIOOOONNNN!!!..... MIKADO SEK-AI-IIIIIIICCCCCCCCCHHHHHIIIII!!!!
Mak: HAIL TO THE KIIINNNNGGG! C’MON, SING IT WITH ME, MASTERS! HAIL TO THE OOONNNEEEEE!
Masters: This is absolutely disgusting…. Mikado Sekaiichi just ripped away this moment of joy from Tyler Parker in the blink of an eye…
Mak: Hey, all’s fair in love and war and THIS was fair! Mikado Sekaiichi has a World Title shot of any time of his choosing and he took it! No shame in that! He’s a genius! He’s a King!
Masters: Sekaiichi has betrayed everyone tonight, including this shocked Japanese audience in attendance… The nerve of this guy! He just ripped away Tyler Parker’s moment in the sun! He just capitalized on GI Styles work! This is absolutely appalling and I really don’t wanna say anymore, just end this, please…
Mak: You may not like it, but you’ll thank this man in the future! This is a Champion we can be proud of! For the first official time, we can call this man not only our King, but our WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! I LOVE IT!
(Mikado Sekaiichi triumphantly raises the World Heavyweight Championship as he stands over the body of Tyler Parker while the camera fades to black)
(EAW Logo Buzzes)
Event: Grand Rampage VII
Date: April 26th, 2014
Mak: JESUS This guy is killing it, that’s THREE eliminations already! Norman Hellion now grabs Zack Crash and TRIES TO THROW HIM OUT OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! BUT CRASH LANDS ON HIS FEET ON THE APRON, NORMAN THROWS A PUNCH BUT CRASH DUCKS AND RAMS HIS SHOULDER INTO THE MID-SECTION OF NORMAN!! Norman stumbles backwards as Crash runs to the turnbuckle, quickly climbing up it as HE LEAPS OFF!! DROPKICK INTO NORMAN!! Norman finally off his feet as the clock is ticking down, who’s gonna be number twenty-nine??
**The lights go out as the countdown clock appears**
10…..9…..8 ….7….6….5….4…3….2….1….BUZZ
( ‘’Twisted Transistor’’ by Korn plays )
HBG: WHAT?!?!?!?!!?!!
Mak: YOU’RE FUCKING ME….
HBG: NO WAY! NO WAY! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
( The lights come back on as Y2Impact is shown on the top of the stage )
Mak: Y2IMPACT IS BACK!!! Y2IMPACT IS NUMBER TWENTY-NINE IN THE GRAND RAMPAGE!!! ANOTHER SURPRISE RETURN! I’M SHOCKED!!!! Imp is in the ring, picking the right target as Hades is getting up and IMP CHARGES – CODEBREAKER INTO HADES!!!! Y2IMPACT CODEBREAKERS HADES THE HELLRAISER!! Hades is down, Imp back up as Crash is getting up and IMPACT WITH THE CODEBREAKER TO ZACK CRASH!!!! CRASH WIPED OUT BY Y2IMPACT!!! I STILL DON’T BELIEVE THIS!! Norman Hellion is up and JUST LIKE THE LAST TWO – CODEBREAKER BY Y2IMPACT!!!!! GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!!!!! NORMAN IS DOWN!!!! NORMAN IS DOWN!!!!
HBG: Jacob Senn unaware Impact is here IS ALSO DROPPED WITH A CODEBREAKER!!! Y2IMPACT IS HANDING OUT CODEBREAKER LIKE ITS NOTHING!!! IMPACT LOOKS FOR DEDE---SPEAR!!!! SPEAR BY DEDEDE!!!!!! BUT NO!!!!! CODEBREAKER BY IMPACT!!! IMPACT TWISTED THE SPEAR INTO A CODEBREAKER!!! Y2IMPACT HAS TAKEN EVERYBODY OUT, NOBODY IS LEFT FOR HIM!! Y2Impact is smirking, this is unbelievable!
10 ……9 …..8 …..7 ….6…..5…..4…..3…..2……..1 BUZZZZZZ
( ‘’ "Lies" by Evanescence plays as Tyler Parker comes out with a glass Tri-force )
Mak: Tyler Parker the LAST entrant in this match, as he gets into the ring and comes FACE TO FACE WITH Y2IMPACT! Tyler and Impact actually shake hands but IMPACT SOCKS TYLER IN THE MOUTH!!! Tyler drops the tri-force and holds his mouth, Impact telling him to ‘’come on’’ but Tyler shakes his head, he’s refusing to face his mentor, his idol, Y2Impact despite what Impact wants! Impact with another shot and another, Tyler STILL refusing to hit Impact! Norman is getting to his feet as he ATTACKS IMPACT FROM BEHIND, PULLING IMPACT IN AND CONNECTING WITH A POWERBOMB!!!
HBG: TYLER THOUGH QUICKLY SMASHES THAT GLASS TRI-FORCE INTO NORMANS HEAD, GRABBING HIM BY THE HEAD AND DUMPS HIM OUT OF THE RING!!!!! TYLER PARKER JUST ELIMINATED NORMAN HELLION!!!!
Announcer: Norman Hellion has been eliminated!
Mak: Hades back up now though as BIG BOOTS TYLER FROM BEHIND!!! TYLER STUMBLES OVER THE TOP ROPE AND ONTO THE APRON, AS HADES GRABS HIM BY THE THROAT, THIS TIME GOING TO CHOKESLAM PARKER OUT OF THE RING!!!! BUT TYLER HEADBUTTS HADES, STUMBLING HIM BACK WARDS AS CRASH FROM BEHIND CONNECTS WITH A PELE KICK INTO HADES!!! HADES STUMBLES INTO THE CORNER, TYLER IS STILL ON THE APRON AS IMPACT CHARGES AT HIM!!!!! BUT TYLER HOLDS DOWN THE ROPES AS IMP FLIES OVER IT AND CRASHES TO THE GROUND, WHAT!?!?!?!
Announcer: Y2Impact has been eliminated!
Event: Dia Del Diablo
Date: May 24th, 2014
Mak: Something’s gotta give! Something has to give in this torturous match! These guys have given everything they’ve got and it still has not gotten them anywhere! Impact seem to be the only man showing any signs of life as he slowly drags himself back up to his feet in the nearest corner… Tyler Parker clutching the ropes as he pulls himself up… Both men make it back to their feet first as they stumble towards one another… Tyler looked ready to fight, but he seems hesitant now! Tyler and Impact meet eye to eye in the middle of the ring; the carnage of the match surrounding them as they look around… Shades of their confrontation at the Grand Rampage… Tyler… Tyler’s slowly shaking his head! He doesn’t want to fight his mentor! A FURIOUS IMPACT NAILS TYLER WITH A JAB TO THE FACE! IMPACT UNLOADING NOW AS HE VERBALLY TAUNTS TYLER!! TYLER’S DOING ALL HE CAN TO PROTECT HIMSELF! Impact puts a stop to the attack as both men stare down once again! IMPACT SLAPS TYLER ACROSS THE FACE!
Impact: COME ON! DO SOMETHING! YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME?! YOU THINK YOU’RE TOO GOOD TO FIGHT ME?! YOU’RE WORTHLESS! YOU’RE A WASTE OF MY TIME!
Masters: IMPACT SPITS IN THE FACE OF TYLER!!! I can’t believe the sheer audacity of this man! He’s lost it! What a sickening display! Tyler doesn’t know what to think, it seems… He… TYLER WITH A RIGHT HAND TO THE FACE OF IMPACT! HE DID IT! IMPACT SCRAMBLES TO GET BACK TO HIS FEET! HE’S MET WITH A BIG CLOTHESLINE FROM TYLER! IMPACT SCRAMBLES BACK UP ONCE AGAIN AS TYLER PICKS HIM UP! TYLER SETTING HIM UP HERE! BLACK CROWN!!! RETRIBUTION!!!! SENN SPRINGS UP TO HIS FEET AND NAILS TYLER WITH THE RETRIBUTION SUPERKICK RIGHT OFF THE JAW!! IMPACT DROPS DOWN TO THE CANVAS AS TYLER DOES THE SAME! SENN DOESN’T GO FOR THE COVER YET AS HE MAKES HIS WAY OVER TO THE NEAREST CORNER! HE CLIMBS UP! SENN’S PERCHED ON THAT TOP TURNBUCKLE! COULD THIRD TIME BE THE CHARM?! LETHAL CONSEQUENCES IN WITH A FOREARM OFF THE FACE OF SENN! Both men unloading into one another! LC quickly gains control over Senn as he lays into him with multiple fierce punches to the skull! LC climbing up there with Senn now! LC continues laying into him! LC SETTING SENN UP! No—Senn fires back with an elbow off the jaw! Another elbow! SENN QUICKLY FIGHTING BACK NOW! LC SLOWLY LOSING HIS BALANCE ON THAT TOP TURNBUCKLE!! SENN WOULD LIKE NOTHING MORE THAN TO GET LC OFF HIS BACK! LC’S IN A BAD SITUATION AS THAT FLAMING TABLE LIES BELOW AND HE’S LEANING TOWARDS IT! LC DROPS OFF THE TOP WITH ONE FINAL SHOT TO THE FACE FROM SENN!!
Mak: NO—LC MANAGES TO SAVE HIMSELF AS HE CLUTCHES THE ROPES! SENN QUICKLY REGAINS HIS BALANCE! LOOK OUT! MOONSAULT ONTO LETHAL CONSEQUENCES!!! LC MANAGES TO DODGE IT! SENN JUST BARELY LANDS ON HIS FEET ON THE APRON! LOOK OUT!! ACID REIGN THROUGH THE GODDAMN FLAMING TABLE!!!! LETHAL CONSEQUENCES JUST SENT JACOB SENN THROUGH THE FLAMING TABLE WITH AN ACID REIGN COMPLETELY OUT OF LEFT FIELD!!!! I GOTTA SAY IT—BAH GAWD ALMIGHTY!!! THEY MAY BE OUT OF THE EQUATION! Impact and Tyler Parker now look to potentially finish their business as they stare down as they slowly rise back to their feet! TYLER WITH A STIFF RIGHT HAND! IMPACT WITH A KNIFE-EDGE CHOP! TYLER WITH A FOREARM! IMPACT WITH A HEADBUTT TO THE SKULL! ANOTHER HEADBUTT TO THE SKULL! ANOTHER KNIFE-EDGE CHOP FROM IMPACT! TYLER’S DAZED! STEP-UP ENZUIGIRI FROM IMPACT CONNECTS!! TYLER’S BARELY ON HIS FEET! HE’S ON SPAGHETTI LEGS AS IMPACT GETS BACK UP TO END IT! CODEBREAKER!!!! NO—TYLER STOPS IT!! HE’S GOT IMPACT UP!! TYLER CHARGES!!! HE SENDS IMPACT SKULL-FIRST INTO THE EXPOSED STEEL TOP TURNBUCKLE WITH A BUCKLE BOMB!!
Event: Showdown
Date: June 14th, 2014
(A video plays; recapping Y2Impact’s turn on Tyler Parker during their bout with Dynamite Rain two weeks ago and last week where Impact informed Tyler they would have a match for the National Extreme Championship at Pain For Pride before showing Impact had viciously attacked Tyler’s Synergy tag team partner, “Good Luck” Charlie)
(Camera cuts back to the ring that’s been decorated with a table with a contract and pens, as well as two chairs as Masters is shown standing in the ring with a microphone in hand)
Masters: I’d like to personally welcome you all here tonight for this contract signing. The Seventh-Annual Pain For Pride is almost upon us and we’ve already got huge matches on the horizon, such as Cy Henderson taking on Scott Diamond, StarrStan against Diamond Cage, Jaywalker versus the Heart Break Boy, and a match that was announced just last week that will be made official here tonight. This match came about when Y2Impact made a surprise return in the 2014 Grand Rampage match, but was eventually eliminated by his well-known protege, Tyler Parker. This would lead to multiple run-ins between the two men on their way to the Hellfire No Way Out Match at Dia Del Diablo, in which Tyler Parker would finally give in to Impact and fight him. However, the very next week, Impact would finally let his emotions get the better of him; turning on Tyler and violently attacking him. It got that much more personal when Impact essentially disowned Tyler and brutally attacked Tyler’s retired Synergy partner, Charlie. Tonight, these two men who have held World Championship gold and gone the distance will sign their names in ink on this contract before finally meeting on the grandest stage of them all at Pain For Pride. First, the reigning and defending National Extreme Champion… He is a former World Heavyweight Champion, former InterWire Champion, and one of the most prolific extremists on the rise today… Please welcome Tyler Parker.
(“Lies” by Evanescence plays all throughout the arena as a determined Tyler Parker makes his way out to the stage in his wrestling gear, a Synergy t-shirt, and his National Extreme Championship on his left shoulder)
Mak: Now that Masters is finally done blabbing, we can finally get this over with as Tyler makes his way down to the ring and he certainly doesn’t look happy whatsoever. I guess I wouldn’t either if I let my partner get beaten to a bloody pulp… Then again, my partner is MK, so I guess it wouldn’t make it on EAW television anyway.
(Tyler enters the ring as “Lies” fades out)
Masters: And the challenger… He is a former six-time World Champion, a former National Extreme Champion, former Unified Tag Team Champion, and former Inter-Brand Champion… Please welcome Y2Impact.
(“Twisted Transistor” by Korn plays all throughout the arena as Y2Impact confidently makes his way out to the stage dressed in a suit and makes his way down to the ring)
Mak: Is there really ANY doubt whatsoever that this man will be walking out of Pain For Pride a two-time National Extreme Champion? Impact MADE that Championship what it is today; the first and last time it was even defended in one on one competition at Pain For Pride, HE was the Champion defending AND retaining it.
(Impact enters the ring as “Twisted Transistor” fades out while both he and Tyler stare down from across the table)
Masters: You may both be seated…
(Impact grabs a microphone as Tyler sits down)
Impact: No… I don’t think I’m going to do that. This should be quick. I don’t have much to say to this aborted parasite that I already haven’t. However, I do have one request…
(Impact looks to a camera)
Impact: WWEFan… I don’t know where you are right now, but I demand you immediately pull the tagline “The Quintessential Champion vs The Quintessential Successor” from the Pain For Pride posters.
(Impact turns to face a stone-faced Tyler Parker)
Impact: This worm is no longer any successor of mine. There is no successor of mine, because there is no man who could possibly fill the shoes that I wear. There is no person that could possibly dream of matching up to my accolades. I was born into professional wrestling as a Champion; taking that Title you wear as my first in my very first match in this company. To some, you may have fought hard and long to defeat GI Styles to become the National Extreme Champion, but to me, you’ve just been keeping it warm for me until I was ready to take it back; just as GI Styles was, just as Moses X was, Alex Anderson, Robbie V, The Dark Emperor, and so on and so on… Just look at yourself, Tyler. You’ve been backed into a corner by your challenger with ease. It’s becomes more and more crystal clear that you were never the man who would take my throne when I’m gone. You were never any son of mine; just some adopted mutt I found on the streets. It’s time for me to strip you of all of my essence that I gave to you in the hopes it would mold you into something great. It’s time to put you down and prove to the World why I never needed anybody to step in for me once Y2Impact is gone, because Y2Impact is eternal. At Pain For Pride, I can finally cleanse myself of all of this… I can make this wrong a right and do what I should have done a long time ago.. And abandon you just like the rest of them until you’re just another faded memory; another nameless victim to Y2Impact’s Land of Extreme. A jungle I have and always will thrive within.
(Impact puts down the microphone and signs the contract as Tyler picks up a microphone)
Tyler: No.
(An annoyed Impact looks Tyler in the eyes)
Impact (without a microphone): No what?
(Tyler slowly stands to his feet as both he and Impact stare down)
Tyler: No as in I’m going to have to decline this match.
Mak: WHAT?!
Tyler: I refuse to be a part of this match.
(Impact picks his microphone back up)
Impact: You don’t have a choice! Pick up the pen and sign the contract!
Tyler: Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’ll sign the contract. However, I’ll sign the contract when it’s too my liking. I’ll sign this contract under MY terms. Under all of that confidence you ooze, don’t forget what you are in the end: The challenger for MY National Extreme Championship. You want to challenge ME? Then we’ll do it on my terms. There’s a lot of things I could do. There’s a lot of different ways I could hurt you, but too many of them are physical. I don’t want to hurt you physically. I don’t want give you a wound that heals as time passes, Impact. I want to scar you mentally for everything you’ve done and everything you’ve said, because that’s the only way to get through to someone like you. Don’t forget that I know you JUST as well as you’ve come to know me and I know that there is no greater punishment you can give the great Y2Impact than humility. That’s what I want at Pain For Pride. I’m not gonna just beat you. I’m not gonna just retain my National Extreme Championship. I’m going to humiliate you. I decline your offer for this to be the usual Extreme Rules match, because I want something more. I want a guaranteed thirty minutes to do anything I want to you and that’s exactly what I’m gonna get, so here’s my idea: Tyler Parker versus Y2Impact for the National Extreme Championship at Pain For Pride… Iron Man Match.
(Tyler drops his microphone and walks past a silent Y2Impact; bumping shoulders with him on his way out of the ring)
Mak: This just gets better and better! I get to see Impact viciously maim this cocky asshole for thirty minutes straight at Pain For Pride! I’m in! Make it happen!
(Tyler Parker takes his leave up the ramp as an annoyed Y2Impact looks on from the ring)
by 
Subject: Tyler Parker vs. Y2Impact - Incongruent Parallels 
