JakobThunderstruckDeLion wrote:

I would like to see you write Finnegan more naturally in your promos.

Define "naturally", because i get alot of promo writing ones, including this one from Lars:

Lars Grier wrote:

I think the major problem with your promos is that they focus too much on character development. Developing and furthering your character's story is important, but equally as important is the focus on your opponent (s) as well. Advice from another friend of mine said that a good promo is a mix between character development and attacking your opponent. 

Honestly, I do not understand the two opinions because I write Finnegan like a normal human being in my eyes, down to earth and humble with real human emotions for a rookie to face. I don't attack opponents in promos because that is really not a babyface thing to do, instead going on an alternate route of selling you on me without burying them. Maybe I'm not seeing what you guys are seeing, but for the sake of better promos, if you guys could PM me any feed back that'd help me understand what yous mean.

I'll do one for Nobi now to get back on track with the thread;

Probably one of the most welcoming people here in EAW, you were here both times I was here and I don't recall you ever having a negative opinion on something or someone.

FinneganWakefield wrote:

JakobThunderstruckDeLion wrote:

I would like to see you write Finnegan more naturally in your promos.

Define "naturally", because i get alot of promo writing ones, including this one from Lars:

I understand that your character is a rookie underdog but the way you write is as if Finnegan is a robot. I would suggest studying Wrestler's promos, don't listen to what they are saying but listen to how they say it-do they pause? Is there certain words that effected by an accent? I'm British and I can assure you that Finnegan would have to be very posh to speak like the way he does.

Also to stay on topic:

Less descriptions. More speech.

You already do what we want. You behave better than before. Keep going, you are doing great and don't forget to keep socialize more with the rest of the member then you will be fine to be here.

You're doing absolutely great here but add more exuberance to your character.

Stick to one gimmick. I've been here like three months and you've had changed four times- stick something that's good and roll with it. Don't give up so easily dude!

You're doing alright so far just try and win more hahahaha

Your presences on the EAW Feed.

This is a tough one. But honestly I feel like we need to make Mel Davezer seem more like a character than he is a parody of Dave Meltzer.

Ask the writers to reinstate the Pure Championship.... that belt is so perfect for you!

Write in English. Everything in English

Bring back Luzmala..... I'm not done with him!

...I can't think of anything really besides being diligent with grammatical errors.

feuding with me.

Embrace the character more, I know it seems backwards with how people mock the idea of it in promos but the fact that it's interesting gives you a chance to embrace that and work with it.

Go full Bray. Extend the limits of the gimmick.

I know I've said this before but I still believe you should have Sylvester Defort as your rep. You can do so much more with your gimmick.

I feel as if the one thing you can do better is make sure EAW creative actually posts the second BTY Podcast

Just stick with the Knight stuff man.

Not leave??? Jk, jk. I think just give yourself some more breathing room. Let your character develop naturally. What I'm saying is this: Don't cage yourself too much. If you want to just add some weird shit to your promo. Go with your gut, but in moderation. Don't ruin your gimmick because you had a weird idea. Believe me, I've done it before.

There's not alot since you've been great ever since winning the Hardcore Belt. Maybe seeing your comedic side back a bit would be a good call, I know that now you're a champ and being serious with yourself is probably the first thing needed in a champions reign but let back the comedic side you have with Oz would be a good way to get a more not so serious Jab at your opponent.

I'd say try to finally settle with Haruna on whether or not you're face or heel as a couple. That's really about it though.

Sir Kelly Hackenschmidt wrote:

I'd say try to finally settle with Haruna on whether or not you're face or heel as a couple. That's really about it though.

It's weird to say the least, but Azumi feels like that heel who you would hate but when placed against bigger heels like the OGs like we were, you would cheer her. So she's a weird tweener.

@Kelly: you better win that tag title! just do your best to win it!

@Azumi: turn face and team up with me, Goddamit!

I'd say try to pull out the cinematic style more often. It has such a flow that I absoloutely love.

Though to the rest of you, stop holding back on the criticism, I know there's something I'm missing to succeed here.

Bump, I still feel as if I am missing something.