Zack says Fool! and takes it back

Winner: Zack Crash

Kicks Zack in the shin and takes the belt while he's laying on the ground clutching his leg. Calls him a wanker as he walks off.

Winner: Finnegan

Iron Fist. Scores a pinfall.

New champion : Anthony Leonhart

The United Nations agrees that France sucks. They award the belt to the rising threat of imperial japan. Azumi Goto is sponsored as their best and is awarded the title.

Winner: Azumi

Kicks finnegan in the wanker and calls him a prat! Then takes belt after a makeout session with azumi

Winner: Zack Crash

Mortimer temporarily restores Zacks sanity and takes the title as payment.

Winner: Mortimer Gotch.

Hardcore Heavymetalweight Championship History:

Azumi Goto - 1
Keelan Cetinich - 1 (won via rollup after offering Azumi a hug)
The Pizza Boy - 1 (won via forefit as Keelan thoughtlessly signed a receipt after ordering a pizza)
Chris Elite - 1 (won via forefit as Pizza Boy signed a document to hand the title over)
Chris' Stove - 1 (won via submission as Chris Elite tapped out after burning his hand on the stove)
Keelan Cetinich - 2 (won via pinfall after pinning the stove)
Big Mike - 1 (won via knockout after hitting Keelan across the face with a pan)
Azumi Goto - 2 (won via forefit after trading a Sony Music record deal to Big Mike for the title)
Iron Chef Morimito - 1 (won via pinfall after pinning a sleeping Azumi in a stove)
Cara Delevingne - 1 (won via pinfall after pinning Morimoto at a Victoria Secret Fashion Show)
Zack Crash - 1 (won via pinfall after rolling up Cara)
Lemmy Killmeister - 1 (won via pinfall after Pizza Boy pinned Crash, but dedicated his victory to Lemmy)
Senor Gonzalez - 1 (won via pinfall after hitting Pizza Boy with a shovel)
Keelan Cetinich/Cara Delevingne - 3/2 (won via pinfall after hitting Senor with a shovel and both pinning)
Nobi - 1 (won via pinfall after hitting a double lariat and pinning both Cara and Keelan)
Bicycle - 1 (won via pinfall as the bicycle landed on top of Nobi)
Harambe - 1 (won via pinfall after taming the bicycle)
Keelan Cetinich - 4 (won via death after Keelan killed Harambe with a shotgun)
Cara Delevingne - 3 (won via pinfall after hitting Keelan with a chair)
Doink the Clown - 1 (won via pinfall after rolling up Cara)
Big Makayla - 1 (won via pinfall after pinning Nobi)
DDD's Chin - 1 (won via pinfall after pinning Makayla)
Kelly Hackenschmidt - 1 (won via submission after forcing DDD's chin to somehow tap out)
Pizza Pie - 1 (won via submission after forcing Kelly to tap out after the pizza pie was stuck to his face)
Petra Chan - 1 (won via forefit after the dog ate the cheese off the pizza)
Nasir Capitani - 1 (won via pinfall after sending Petra to the kennel and pinning the cage)
Azumi Goto - 3 (won via pinfall after rolling up Nas)
Tony Rolland - 1 (won via pinfall after kidnapping Azumi and pinning her in a van)
EAW Hardcore Heavymetalweight Championship - 1 (won via pinfall after laying on Tony while he slept)
Tony Rolland - 2 (won via pinfall after rolling over in his sleep and pinning the title)
Kelly Hackenschmidt - 2 (won via forefit after trading the belt for a bag of weed)
Bird Shit - 1 (won via pinfall after Kelly tripped over and a bird shat on his chest)
Kelly's Towel - 1 (won via forefit after Kelly cleaned the shit off his chest with a towel)
Keelan Cetinich - 5 (won in a ladder match after climbing a ladder and retrieving the title and the towel after Kelly went to take a shower)
Ladder - 1 (won after Keelan slips off the ladder and falls to the ground. The ladder falls on Keelan and pins)
The title becomes vacated after the ladder snaps in half. 
Filthy Frank - 1 (picks up title)
Cailin Dillon - 1 (won via knockout after throwing Frank off a bridge)
The Vixens Championship - 1 (won via pinfall after Cailin falls asleep with the title around her waist)
Cailin Stalker - 1 (won via pinfall after pinning Cailin while she slept)
Security Guard - 1 (won via forefit after the stalker gave up the title for his freedom)
Alberto the Chihuahua - 1 (won via pinfall after guard slips and falls and the dog jumps on him)
Petra Chan - 2 (won via forefit as Petra got into a fight with Alberto and Alberto fled)
Azumi Goto - 4 (won via submission after Petra taps her paw on Azumi making her the champ)
El Landerson - 1 (won via pinfall after rolling up Azumi)
Niki Khan - 1 (won via pinfall after rolling up Landerson)
Keelan Cetinich - 6 (won in a first blood match after giving Niki Khan a papercut)
Mak - 1 (won via forefit after penetrating Keelan with his dick)
The title becomes vacated after Mak is arrested for sexual assault.
El Landerson - 2 (won via finding the title)
Donald Trump - 1 (won via enforcing a new law. Everytime Landerson wins the title, Trump becomes champion)
Pizza Delivery Car - 1 (won via pinfall after Donald Trump gets stuck under the car and the ref counted the fall)
Pizza Boy - 2 (won via forefit after the delivery car breaks down)
Terry Chambers - 1 (won via pinfall after poking Pizza Boy)
Terry's Son - 1 (won via pinfall after lying on Terry)
Stevie Wonder - 1 (won via submission after high fiving Terry's son, which somehow was a tap out victory)
Terry Chambers - 2 (won via pinfall after squashing Stevie)
Pizza Boy - 3 (won via forfeit after Terry Chambers traded the title for a Meatlovers Pizza)
Terry Chambers - 3 (won via ... i don't even know. he took the title back because there was a slice missing in his pizza smh)
Cleopatra - 1 (won in a Last Man Standing match after flashing Terry her tits and Terry fainting, and not answering the 10 count)
HBB - 1 (won via pinfall after making Cleopatra fall asleep by reading the bible to her)
Keelan Cetinich - 7 (won in a tables match after back body dropping HBB through a table)
Brody Sparks - 1 (won via submission after Brody started sucking Keelan's finger and told him all the horrible things she was going to do to him later)
EAW Hardcore Heavymetalweight Championship - 2 (won via submission after Brody tapped out while masturbating)
DDD's Sex Doll - 1 (won via pinfall after falling on the title)
Matt Miles - 1 (won via submission after putting a nail into the doll and pinned it against the wall)
Finnegan Wakefield - 1 (won it in a Yu-Gi-Oh! game after summoning Exodia)
Lars Grier - 1 (won via pinfall after rolling up Finnegan while he drank tea)
Cup - 1 (won via pinfall after Lars slipped over and the cup landed on his chest)
Coffee Mug - 1 (won via knockout after the coffee mug smashed the cup)
The title becomes vacated after the Coffee Mug smashes itself because it was bought at a Walmart.
Donald Trump - 2 (declared himself the new champion)
Cara Delevingne - 4 (won via submission by giving Donald Trump a handjob)
Anthony Leonheart - 1 (won via pinfall after hitting Adieu de France on Cara)
Keelan Cetinich - 8 (won via pinfall after hitting a Murder Crusher on Anthony)
Vince Russo - 1 (won via pinfall after making Keelan faint by showing him a picture of David Arquette as World Champion)
Anthony Leonheart - 2 (won via pinfall after hitting Adieu de France on Russo/Twosso)
Vince Russo - 2 (won via forefit after he contineously lowblowed Anthony)
Batman Cosplayer - 1 (won via pinfall after rolling up Russo at Comic-Con)
Title is vacated due to too much Vince Russo appreciation.
Anthony Leonheart - 3 (won via picking up title)
Keelan Cetinich - 9 (won in an Ambulance Match after poisoning Anthony's steak and putting him into an ambulance when it came to the restaurant)
Finnegan Wakefield - 2 (won via forefit as Finnegan deports Keelan to Australia)
Anthony Leonheart - 4 (won via pinfall after hitting a Single Underhook Facebuster on Finnegan)
Azumi Goto - 5 (won via forefit as Azumi deports Anthony to France)
Kelly Hackenschmidt - 3 (won via pinfall after hitting the Hackentude Adjustment on Azumi)
Mortimer - 1 (won via forefit after trading the belt with a bag of herbs)
Mr Cuddlesworth - 1 (won via submission after locking Mortimer in a bear hug)
Petra Chan - 3 (won via forefit after barking at Mr Cuddlesworth)
Strip of Bacon - 1 (won via forefit after Petra Chan drops the belt on the bacon)
Jakob DeLion - 1 (won via knockout after eating the bacon)
Mortimer - 2 (won in a Chess Game)
Matt Miles - 2 (won via knockout after tripping Mortimer through glass)
Ladder - 2 (won via pinfall after being thrown onto Matt)
Anthony Leonheart - 5 (won via pinfall after hitting a Kinshasa)
Tommy Minns - 1 (won via forefit after flirting with Anthony)
Mike Showman - 1 (won via forefit after cutting Tommy with a chainsaw)
Mister Cuddlesworth - 2 (won via submission after locking Mike in a bearhug)
Leaf - 1 (won via pinfall after landing on Mr Cuddlesworth)
HDRO - 1 (won in an Inferno Match after burning the pile of leaves)
Mortimer - 3 (won in an Arm Wrestling Match)
Aria Jaxon - 1 (won via pinfall after Matt Ryder laid out Mortimer and gave Aria the pinfall)
Zack Crash - 1 (won via pinfall after rolling up Aria after burning Matt's face)
Finnegan Wakefield - 3 (won via forefit after asking if he could NOT have Zack's title)
Anthony Leonheart - 6 (won via pinfall after hitting Finnegan with an Iron Fist)
The title is vacated because The United Nations agree that France sucks, and that they shouldn't hold a championship ever.
Azumi Goto - 7 (United Nations gifted Azumi the championship)
Zack Crash - 2 (won via pinfall after getting into a makeout session with Azumi and falling on top of her)
Mortimer - 4 (won via forefit after getting Zack's sanity back temporarily, and because of it, was traded the title)

Grabs Mortimer by the dick and kisses him until he falls onto the ground. Pins him while grabbing nuts.

Winner: Brody Sparks

*As Brody Sparks celebrates Mister Cuddlesworth steals the title as she admires it in the mirror.

A tree falls on azumi goto and pins her.

New champ: tree

Madison lays over the tree, for the pin!

New Champion: MADISON KALINE

Madison drops the title and it fold onto itself for the pin.

New Champion: The EAW Hardcore Heavymetalweight Title

Pizza Boy heads out of the arcade.  He reaches in his pocket and finds one last quarter as he passes a claw machine.  A first he dismisses it because they're lame and carny, but then he sees a glint within the pile of jamaican banana's and stewie griffin's.  He pops in the quarter, steadies his hand, and clasps the title by it's strap with the claw before dropping it into the machine's prize receptacle.  PB pulls out the title, holds it over his head as a ref appears behind him playing Pac-Man.  Without looking away from the screen.


Ref: We have a winner!

Pizza Boy (4) Submission via Iron Claw (er...machine)

Mortimer trades the title for a Chicago deep dish.


New champ: Mortimer Gotch.

Calls the police on Brody. Brody is arrested. An officer confiscates the title.

Winner: Some officer.

Keelan Cetinich plays shirades with the officer. Keelan starts doing actions...

Two words. First word.

Keelan points to his eye.

Officer: Eye.

Keelan nods. Second word.

Keelan acts out walking into a job and quitting.

Officer: Quitting? Quit?

Keelan nods.

Officer: I quit?

Keelan Cetinich wins the title in an I Quit Match.

Finnegan wins a game of Scissors Paper Rock with Keelan.

Winner: Finnegan Wakefeild

Finnegan passes a referee


Referee: 1.....2.....3....

Finnegan: Why are you counting?

Ref: 4...5...6...

Finnegan: am...am I being counted out?

Ref: 7...8...9...

Finnegan: We're not even near a ring!

Ref: 10!  Winner: Pizza Boy!

The camera cuts to an empty arena where Pizza Boy does some drills.  The ref appears, drops the belt next to PB as he's doing some sit-up's, and leaves.


PB:...yay...?

Hardcore Heavymetalweight Championship History:

Azumi Goto - 1
Keelan Cetinich - 1 (won via rollup after offering Azumi a hug)
The Pizza Boy - 1 (won via forefit as Keelan thoughtlessly signed a receipt after ordering a pizza)
Chris Elite - 1 (won via forefit as Pizza Boy signed a document to hand the title over)
Chris' Stove - 1 (won via submission as Chris Elite tapped out after burning his hand on the stove)
Keelan Cetinich - 2 (won via pinfall after pinning the stove)
Big Mike - 1 (won via knockout after hitting Keelan across the face with a pan)
Azumi Goto - 2 (won via forefit after trading a Sony Music record deal to Big Mike for the title)
Iron Chef Morimito - 1 (won via pinfall after pinning a sleeping Azumi in a stove)
Cara Delevingne - 1 (won via pinfall after pinning Morimoto at a Victoria Secret Fashion Show)
Zack Crash - 1 (won via pinfall after rolling up Cara)
Lemmy Killmeister - 1 (won via pinfall after Pizza Boy pinned Crash, but dedicated his victory to Lemmy)
Senor Gonzalez - 1 (won via pinfall after hitting Pizza Boy with a shovel)
Keelan Cetinich/Cara Delevingne - 3/2 (won via pinfall after hitting Senor with a shovel and both pinning)
Nobi - 1 (won via pinfall after hitting a double lariat and pinning both Cara and Keelan)
Bicycle - 1 (won via pinfall as the bicycle landed on top of Nobi)
Harambe - 1 (won via pinfall after taming the bicycle)
Keelan Cetinich - 4 (won via death after Keelan killed Harambe with a shotgun)
Cara Delevingne - 3 (won via pinfall after hitting Keelan with a chair)
Doink the Clown - 1 (won via pinfall after rolling up Cara)
Big Makayla - 1 (won via pinfall after pinning Nobi)
DDD's Chin - 1 (won via pinfall after pinning Makayla)
Kelly Hackenschmidt - 1 (won via submission after forcing DDD's chin to somehow tap out)
Pizza Pie - 1 (won via submission after forcing Kelly to tap out after the pizza pie was stuck to his face)
Petra Chan - 1 (won via forefit after the dog ate the cheese off the pizza)
Nasir Capitani - 1 (won via pinfall after sending Petra to the kennel and pinning the cage)
Azumi Goto - 3 (won via pinfall after rolling up Nas)
Tony Rolland - 1 (won via pinfall after kidnapping Azumi and pinning her in a van)
EAW Hardcore Heavymetalweight Championship - 1 (won via pinfall after laying on Tony while he slept)
Tony Rolland - 2 (won via pinfall after rolling over in his sleep and pinning the title)
Kelly Hackenschmidt - 2 (won via forefit after trading the belt for a bag of weed)
Bird Shit - 1 (won via pinfall after Kelly tripped over and a bird shat on his chest)
Kelly's Towel - 1 (won via forefit after Kelly cleaned the shit off his chest with a towel)
Keelan Cetinich - 5 (won in a ladder match after climbing a ladder and retrieving the title and the towel after Kelly went to take a shower)
Ladder - 1 (won after Keelan slips off the ladder and falls to the ground. The ladder falls on Keelan and pins)
The title becomes vacated after the ladder snaps in half. 
Filthy Frank - 1 (picks up title)
Cailin Dillon - 1 (won via knockout after throwing Frank off a bridge)
The Vixens Championship - 1 (won via pinfall after Cailin falls asleep with the title around her waist)
Cailin Stalker - 1 (won via pinfall after pinning Cailin while she slept)
Security Guard - 1 (won via forefit after the stalker gave up the title for his freedom)
Alberto the Chihuahua - 1 (won via pinfall after guard slips and falls and the dog jumps on him)
Petra Chan - 2 (won via forefit as Petra got into a fight with Alberto and Alberto fled)
Azumi Goto - 4 (won via submission after Petra taps her paw on Azumi making her the champ)
El Landerson - 1 (won via pinfall after rolling up Azumi)
Niki Khan - 1 (won via pinfall after rolling up Landerson)
Keelan Cetinich - 6 (won in a first blood match after giving Niki Khan a papercut)
Mak - 1 (won via forefit after penetrating Keelan with his dick)
The title becomes vacated after Mak is arrested for sexual assault.
El Landerson - 2 (won via finding the title)
Donald Trump - 1 (won via enforcing a new law. Everytime Landerson wins the title, Trump becomes champion)
Pizza Delivery Car - 1 (won via pinfall after Donald Trump gets stuck under the car and the ref counted the fall)
Pizza Boy - 2 (won via forefit after the delivery car breaks down)
Terry Chambers - 1 (won via pinfall after poking Pizza Boy)
Terry's Son - 1 (won via pinfall after lying on Terry)
Stevie Wonder - 1 (won via submission after high fiving Terry's son, which somehow was a tap out victory)
Terry Chambers - 2 (won via pinfall after squashing Stevie)
Pizza Boy - 3 (won via forfeit after Terry Chambers traded the title for a Meatlovers Pizza)
Terry Chambers - 3 (won via ... i don't even know. he took the title back because there was a slice missing in his pizza smh)
Cleopatra - 1 (won in a Last Man Standing match after flashing Terry her tits and Terry fainting, and not answering the 10 count)
HBB - 1 (won via pinfall after making Cleopatra fall asleep by reading the bible to her)
Keelan Cetinich - 7 (won in a tables match after back body dropping HBB through a table)
Brody Sparks - 1 (won via submission after Brody started sucking Keelan's finger and told him all the horrible things she was going to do to him later)
EAW Hardcore Heavymetalweight Championship - 2 (won via submission after Brody tapped out while masturbating)
DDD's Sex Doll - 1 (won via pinfall after falling on the title)
Matt Miles - 1 (won via submission after putting a nail into the doll and pinned it against the wall)
Finnegan Wakefield - 1 (won it in a Yu-Gi-Oh! game after summoning Exodia)
Lars Grier - 1 (won via pinfall after rolling up Finnegan while he drank tea)
Cup - 1 (won via pinfall after Lars slipped over and the cup landed on his chest)
Coffee Mug - 1 (won via knockout after the coffee mug smashed the cup)
The title becomes vacated after the Coffee Mug smashes itself because it was bought at a Walmart.
Donald Trump - 2 (declared himself the new champion)
Cara Delevingne - 4 (won via submission by giving Donald Trump a handjob)
Anthony Leonheart - 1 (won via pinfall after hitting Adieu de France on Cara)
Keelan Cetinich - 8 (won via pinfall after hitting a Murder Crusher on Anthony)
Vince Russo - 1 (won via pinfall after making Keelan faint by showing him a picture of David Arquette as World Champion)
Anthony Leonheart - 2 (won via pinfall after hitting Adieu de France on Russo/Twosso)
Vince Russo - 2 (won via forefit after he contineously lowblowed Anthony)
Batman Cosplayer - 1 (won via pinfall after rolling up Russo at Comic-Con)
Title is vacated due to too much Vince Russo appreciation.
Anthony Leonheart - 3 (won via picking up title)
Keelan Cetinich - 9 (won in an Ambulance Match after poisoning Anthony's steak and putting him into an ambulance when it came to the restaurant)
Finnegan Wakefield - 2 (won via forefit as Finnegan deports Keelan to Australia)
Anthony Leonheart - 4 (won via pinfall after hitting a Single Underhook Facebuster on Finnegan)
Azumi Goto - 5 (won via forefit as Azumi deports Anthony to France)
Kelly Hackenschmidt - 3 (won via pinfall after hitting the Hackentude Adjustment on Azumi)
Mortimer - 1 (won via forefit after trading the belt with a bag of herbs)
Mr Cuddlesworth - 1 (won via submission after locking Mortimer in a bear hug)
Petra Chan - 3 (won via forefit after barking at Mr Cuddlesworth)
Strip of Bacon - 1 (won via forefit after Petra Chan drops the belt on the bacon)
Jakob DeLion - 1 (won via knockout after eating the bacon)
Mortimer - 2 (won in a Chess Game)
Matt Miles - 2 (won via knockout after tripping Mortimer through glass)
Ladder - 2 (won via pinfall after being thrown onto Matt)
Anthony Leonheart - 5 (won via pinfall after hitting a Kinshasa)
Tommy Minns - 1 (won via forefit after flirting with Anthony)
Mike Showman - 1 (won via forefit after cutting Tommy with a chainsaw)
Mister Cuddlesworth - 2 (won via submission after locking Mike in a bearhug)
Leaf - 1 (won via pinfall after landing on Mr Cuddlesworth)
HDRO - 1 (won in an Inferno Match after burning the pile of leaves)
Mortimer - 3 (won in an Arm Wrestling Match)
Aria Jaxon - 1 (won via pinfall after Matt Ryder laid out Mortimer and gave Aria the pinfall)
Zack Crash - 1 (won via pinfall after rolling up Aria after burning Matt's face)
Finnegan Wakefield - 3 (won via forefit after asking if he could NOT have Zack's title)
Anthony Leonheart - 6 (won via pinfall after hitting Finnegan with an Iron Fist)
The title is vacated because The United Nations agree that France sucks, and that they shouldn't hold a championship ever.
Azumi Goto - 7 (United Nations gifted Azumi the championship)
Zack Crash - 2 (won via pinfall after getting into a makeout session with Azumi and falling on top of her)
Mortimer - 4 (won via forefit after getting Zack's sanity back temporarily, and because of it, was traded the title)
Brody Sparks - 2 (won via pinfall after making out with Mortimer and holding his nuts during the pin)
Azumi Goto - 8 (won via forefit after forcing Brody to watch Westworld)
Tree - 1 (won via pinfall after it falls on Azumi)
Madison Kaline - 1 (won via pinfall after pinning the tree)
The EAW Hardcore Heavymetalweight Championship - 3 (win via pinning Madison)
Pizza Boy - 4 (won via submission after retreiving the championship from an Iron Claw Machine at an arcade)
Mortimer - 4 (won via forfeit after trading the title for a Chicago Deep Dish)
Brody Sparks - 3 (won via pinfall after stabbing Mortimer with a knife and pouring lemon into the wound)
Police Officer - 1 (won via forfeit after Brody gets the title confisgated)
Keelan Cetinich - 10 (won the title in an I Quit Match after playing shirades with the officer and making him say "I Quit.")
Finnegan Wakefield - 4 (won in a Rock, Paper, Scissors match)
Pizza Boy - 5 (won via countout)

Terry orders his dog to attack Pizza Boy and while the dog is on top attacking the ref counted a 3 count.

Terry's dog  (1)

A dog trainer walks by an sets a dog treat on Terry's dog's nose and makes him hold the pose while the ref counts to three.

winner by pinfall: dog treat

Lars eats the dog treat. The dog treat has been eaten, thus Grier has now become new champion.

Lars Grier is the new champ!

Alexis hands Lars some new protein powder, with the side effect of causing the opponent to pass out. Lars passes out and Alexis sneaks a pin. 

Alexis is the new champion.