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EAW Promoz! (Section closed) - Page 39 SIGNUPBANNER
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EAW Promoz! (Section closed) - Page 39 SIGNUPBANNER


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Here you can write promos about shows, Extremist, Vixens, matches, or anything else in EAW. Please do not spam, or put pointless things that aren't promos and DO NOT CHALLENGE ANYONE and remember, THIS IS ALL FAKE AND STORYLINE so please do not take anything serious. Thank you.


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EAW Promoz! (Section closed) :: Comments

Brian Daniels
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 17th 2015, 9:42 pm by Brian Daniels
If you're so much more dominant than myself, why aren't you standing where I stand, Rhaegar? Why don't you stand on the top? That's right, because everyone has degraded your very existence within the confines of Elite Answers Wrestling - anything and everything you do or say, it's meaningless. There's no actuality that supports your bogus claims, nor do you have the intelligence to fully understand what comes out of your own mouth. It's okay though, I like guys like you that end up saying one thing, but completely alters the statement when put in a position of pressure. I don't know if you understand how pressured you are right now, it would seem that you don't work well under those type of standards. Do you? I mean, your loyalty goes as far as the length of yours arms. You were put under a spotlight, where you everyone as a team depended on you to work as a whole together with everyone else. It may have been for the lesser cause, so your reasoning might be just, but how do you expect anyone to give you the benefit of the doubt after you would go and betray your own brethren? It's hard for a man to represent this company, when he doesn't want to represent this brand as a World Champion at all. Those were the words that came from YOUR MOUTH, NOBODY ELSE'S. But suddenly you want to be crowned as the new World Heavyweight Champion? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I repeat, you're a man with unreliable motives. If anything, you're walking on the thin ice... and with every step you take, the ice begins to crack a little more. I'm only surprised that you've been able to outlast your fate to sink and drown in the cold waters below for this long. How could anyone understand the final words of a drowning man? Have you ever stopped and wondered why a human being doesn't converse with a lesser being, such as insects? You should start to consider yourself as that insect, because it's easier to walk all over you, opposed to debating such a nonsense result of you coming out as World Heavyweight Champion. But go ahead, say what you have to say - in fact, go on with this feeble attempt at dethroning me. It won't end as you intend it to, it won't end in the fruitful image you dream of.

I'd like to think that I've been caught up in what's known as "inception", as I don't see the man that once ruled EAW with an iron fist, Jaywalker. I only see a shell of what was formerly greatness - I only see a man that once was, but fails to adapt to what is. It's this same man that's driven fear into this company with multiple reigns, an undefeated streak that lasted for what seemed never ending. I don't know how to go about a man, with a backbone that's already been broken by two other men since his almighty return to the industry. You offer me a whole bunch of threats, but where's the fortitude to support these so called threats? I'm not stupid, Jaywalker, I know what you've been capable of in the past. I know you've taken down the best of the best, you've overseen this company as the very best. I don't need a history lesson out of you, but allow me to threaten you in return. I'm not going to allow you to dig deep inside my mind; you're not going to break me from the inside out. If you haven't notice lately, unlike yourself - I've been on what you would know as a "streak". I wouldn't say this streak is out of pure dimwitted luck either, it's out of the blood, sweat, and tears I've put into this company. My effort will not go unnoticed, I will not be overlooked by the likes of you. So, here I stand... giving you the opportunity of the lifetime. I want to offer you the chance to do what every man with the atrocious track words. I want you to redeem yourself, I want you at your very fullest. I want to see that Jaywalker that broke Extreme Enigma's neck. If you're somehow able to rejuvenate THAT Jaywalker - then I'll be more than grateful to say that I took down the giant as Jacob Senn has, and as Tyler Parker has. I care not for playing the role of the smaller man in this situation, it looks better on me, when a man that has so much experience in this company. The same man that has ended careers, brought forward streaks, the man that's made a dynasty for himself... is struck down by the unexpected. I want to provoke the beast, call me audacious for doing so. If it goes as far as your heart grows a distaste for me, so be it. I'll be satisfied - it'll be gratifying to know when that monster is awoken and defeated... that the legend who once was, is no longer in our presence.
Eclipse Diemos
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 17th 2015, 8:27 pm by Eclipse Diemos
Unforgettable and Unforgiven


(12/15/2015)


Eclipse let out a soft laugh to himself as he turned the small object in his hands over and over, his eyes shining with a new found light that danced in them. That same spark of insanity mixed with nervous energy that was firing in every synapse in his brain. Strength. Willpower. His own endurance. All of it firing out in that single instance before he looked up at his surroundings. A restaraunt. A surrounding he wasn’t exactly used too. With a cough he tugged on the suit he was wearing, trying to push the thoughts of how uncomfortable it was out of his mind. This wasn’t something that he could simply push out further and further, this was something important to him. Something that he would have to cherish and remember for a lifetime. He stretched his hand out, staring at the object in it for a quick moment before blinking and hiding it away in his suit pocket as his guest made her appearance.


“It’s not very often you treat me to a date.” Alexis Parthenopaeus stated with a smile on her face as she watched him quickly pull out a chair, letting her sit down and giving her a swift kiss before taking his own seat. A smile on his face. It hadn’t exactly been publicized news that they were dating, but that’s how Eclipse preferred it. Their life was their own, no need to make it public knowledge if it meant that their private lives would be exploited. Still, this was a real first. Eclipse had never been one to try and go all out for anything this romantic. A nice restaurant and an expensive suit.


“Figured you’d like it.” Eclipse stated, twitching a bit as his fingers circled the wine glass before the waiter came by and filled it to the brim, doing the same with Alexis glass before handing them their menus and walking away, his feet looking as if they would never touch the floor. A thought pierced through Eclipse’s mind, if the blood would seep through the pant legs since the fabric was different. A different experiment for a different time...he couldn’t be thinking about that now. This wasn’t the time for thoughts like that. He let out a slow breath before scanning the menu.


Thoughts drifting deep in his mind, scattering about like wind when he looked at her. Her fair skin...so pale to look at under the light. Her beautiful green eyes. Her red hair contrasting with everything else. That black dress. Those dark thoughts in him were silent, replaced only with something that he took to be happiness. His fingers twitched against the plates that he had placed upon the table before his eyes closed for a moment and slowly reopened, looking back at her. She rubbed her jaw a bit, a noticeable bruise on her face from her battle on Battleground. She had a smile on her face though. One that he couldn’t help but recognize. She wasn’t upset at the loss, she had proven her worth in that match.


“You seem nervous...are you ok?” Alexis asked as she took a sip of her wine, before the waiter came back, her finger pointing to her order as Eclipse motioned to his before he leaned forward on the table with a smile on his face. The suit didn’t feel so bad anymore. In fact...it felt natural now. Nothing could go wrong here. He leaned a bit closer, kissing her with as much passion as he could muster from his nervous energy before removing the box from his pants pocket. His eyes sparkled with excitement as he took her hand, kissing it gently before he moved to a single knee.


“These past few months...I’ve been better than ok. And...I think I know the reason for that. I know that I’m not completely and totally public with my affections...but...this is something that’s true. I love you with all of my heart and soul...and I want to feel like this for the rest of my life...will you do me those honors?” he asked, his voice moving just barely above a whisper as he slowly pulled the box open, the ring shining inside of it as Alexis’ eyes widened in sheer shock and awe as she gazed at it. Her heart hammered deep inside of her chest. Nothing could have prepared either one of them for this. A smile moved along her face as she slowly brought him up, pulling him into a deep kiss.


(12/17/15)


Eclipse ran his hands along the side of his face as his eyes opened up to the room. Around him, the children sat and played, their eyes wide in happiness and the joy very apparent on their faces. He stood up, reaching behind him and removing the leather trench coat from the wall hook, yanking it on and pulling it tight against himself before raising his head up and staring up at the ceiling lights above him. They drifted side to side, and his eyes caught every motion with seemingly no regard to their movements. He smiled, the grin tearing its way across his tattooed face and he reached upwards, taking hold of the chain that kept the light on, his eyes never giving anything away as he stared straight forward.


“My life has been devoted to a singular cause. A cause which has taken its toll on me...both mentally and physically. I have bled for this cause, cried for this cause, and have taken pain thousands of times over for this cause. For this very cause I had vowed my respect...but when it comes down to it...I am merely a tool for that cause. A blade with which I can be used to pierce through my opponents. However...one of my opponent's armor proved too thick. I couldn’t go through. So the blade chipped and was sent to the ground. The cause, instead of picking it up, turned its back on the sword, and marched on. Now...the cause is back and wields me again, but it does not wield me the same way it used too. There is no respect in its swing, no honor in its attacks, and the love of battle that the sword has. So...I wage war once again without a second thought in my mind. I am the unforgiven sword, who will seek to destroy everything around me, because that is my passion and my drive. I don’t care what I have been branded with...because I have been branded it unjustly. Road to Redemption...shall be my redemption.


I face off, once more, with the sickening display of greed that is The High Rollers. I understand their dissension in their ranks, their...droll speeches with no thought given to them. Neither one respects the other, and I can understand why. When last we talked, I listened to you both mock me for my appearance and way of life, and in turn I mocked you. I have no time for that now. When Redemption arrives for me...I won’t waste my breath on mocking. You will be driven down into the abyss at my hands, you will be thrust into the darkness with a broken bones and screams, and in the end you will lament your sins and blame each other for your own failing, because you are both selfish humans. You argue and bicker, and that will be your downfall.


There is another...Greg Ward. A man that has proven his worth as an in ring competitor. It isn’t with anger that I attack you, but purpose. You have proven yourself to have a lot of skill and talent, and above all else you are one of the few members of EAW that  I want to fight head on. No holding back. You have the talent in the ring to go toe to toe with me, and that is something that I can not only enjoy watching, but wholeheartedly respect. However, my respect won’t stop my fists.  It won’t halt my anger and it damn sure will not stop me from breaking you in that ring. I seek redemption, and you are going to give it to me with your broken body. Blood will be the ink that signs my fate with the heavens. I promise you.”


His grip on the chain tightened and he yanked on it, the light shutting off before it slowly filtered back on, the blinding yellow replaced by a dark red that fills the entire room. The children slowly stand up, their faces covered in porcelain masks as Eclipse gazed straight ahead, holding up his other hand. A ring, laced with barbed wire, with a red gem affixed in its center clearly visible.

“Road to Redemption. It won’t matter what stands in my way anymore. My opponents, my mind, the cause, it all won’t stop me. I am pushing through...whether they like it or not.”
Rex32
Watching with Interest
Post December 17th 2015, 7:37 pm by Rex32

Watching With Interest



Scene pans into Rex McAllister, who is at a house show, sitting in an EAW panel room at a bloated shaped conference table. His dirty blonde hair is slicked back by gel and he is dawning his typical out-of-ring business attire. He appears to be marking on a deck of flashcards only wasting but a mere precious few seconds on each one before moving on to another. Camera pans in close on the opposite side of the table facing Rex as he continues to mark flash card after flash card. The camera can now make out what is on these cards. Some appear to have numbers as viewed by the camera, while others appear with words such as “Bad”, “Weak”, “Lousy”. Rex finally satisfied has now stopped and is now quickly compiling the cards together, but into two separate piles. Rex looks into the camera with a satisfying smirk and then back down as he finishes compiling. Then finally he back up he acknowledges the EAW viewers.


Hello there, Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls! Children of all ages! Are you ready? Ready that is…I am referring to this annual Road to Redemption coming up. This is it. This is the show, that by next year, The Rex Master intends on being more than just a spectator at. Yes sir. You see with everything I do comes a purpose. I make sure that everything I do is carefully worked out step-by-step from the bottom to the top. That not only accounts for being in that ring, but also in life. Success in life is what you put into it with everything you do. So if you have watched me this long into one of my Rexcellent promoz! Then you are curious, almost to the point of being annoyed, wondering. What is this guy babbling about? Okay. So I will get right down to it. First and foremost this goes out to any and everyone who got the nod to be a part of the big event this year. Congratulations. It means you have put the time and work into getting this far into your careers. I can appreciate hard work. It is the very foundation that breeds success.

(Rex reaches for one deck of cards and holds it up for the camera to see)

In each of these decks of cards is a card that represents the effort you may or may not have put forth to succeed by the time Road to Redemption all said and done. To leave this event with your hand held up as the victor. That is THE goal. Right??? That is the only thing that counts. The win is the only thing people are going to remember, because in the end there can only be one winner. To be on the winning side means you were willing to lay it all on the line by going further, working harder, and giving more than anyone else. To become a winner you must be willing toooo….

(Rex holds up a flashcard that reads “sacrifice”)

…sacrifice. To sacrifice means to forfeit something for something else considered to have a greater value. Sacrifice does not mean giving up something for nothing. Sacrifice breeds success. Success is simply the measurement of the commitment, sacrifice, and not to mention the pain that one has to endure to achieve a dream. Of course if you walk away from your Road to Redemption experience with nothing then it probably means you didn’t win. To win you must show an unshakeable confidence, you must show your…

(Rex holds up another flashcard that reads “determination”)

…determination. Determination is a character trait where you are intent on achieving a goal. For some success...it’s simply pre-destiny, you can go through trial and error, but eventually success will find you. But for most of us, guys like me, success will come because we were too determined to quit and not afraid to fail. After you make a firm decision to proceed on a task or goal, you may run into roadblocks and obstacles. These roadblocks…these obstacles, they will make you focus all your energy and efforts to succeed at a goal until the job is done. It could take a matter of minutes, maybe only mere hours, sometimes days, even months……...years. But the question is, do you have the drive? Do you have the determination? Do you have the….

(Rex holds up the next flashcard that reads “will”)

…this? Do you have the will to succeed? It was Vince Lombardi that once said “The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will.” Maybe even for some winning isn’t everything, but you know what? The WILL…the will to win…IT’S EVERYTHING. Of course if these qualities pertain to you then you will find this promo preaching of sorts a waste of time perhaps. Either way your opinion matters not in all this. Just consider it then to be a reminder of what you are working for. Reputations are on the line after all.

(Rex slides his arm across the table and knocks the rest of the deck off to the ground. Rex looks straight ahead again at the camera and holds the other deck of flashcards up)

Now…if you don’t walk out of Road to Redemption as the victor. Don’t worry. All might not be lost for you. You may still have something your broken ego and pride can still hang on to. But that just means you fall under these categories possessing these qualities….

(Rex flings the cards off to the side)

These are the qualities that really nobody cares about or cares to associate themselves with. Qualities like “weak”, “lousy”, “subpar”, “below average”, and the list goes on and on. But it all adds up to one trait. LOSING.

(Rex leans forward only slightly rising from his seat but still focusing on the camera)

Trust me The Rex Master doesn’t associate himself with it. Never has and never will. It’s because of the three qualities that I have already mentioned that make me who I am today, and that's a winner. A winner not just in professional wrestling, but in life. You look at the five thousand dollar suits, the lavish lifestyle, and just think this guy is in the wrong profession. This guy doesn't know a wrestling hold from a wristwatch. But make no mistake I am fine well-oiled blend of old school and new school wrestling. I am master of my craft. That alone is not enough though.

(Rex takes his seat again and relaxes his crossed feet on the table)

That's why at Road To Redemption I will be there. I will be everywhere. Soaking it all in. The atmosphere, guys attitudes, their demeanor. The matches. As good as I know that I am I know I can always learn something new. Something that will give me an advantage against any of these wiley competitors. My time is coming. By this time next year I will be at Road To Redemption cementing my career and validating my REXCELLENCE for the world to see. But this weekend The Rex Master will witness what the greats have to offer. I'll be your audience boys. Don't disappoint!

(Rex flashes a smirk as the scene fades)

***SCENE ENDS***







-
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 17th 2015, 7:12 pm by -
 Road To Redemption 2 



You know, I would've never guessed that it would come to The High Rollerz expressing a little actual frustrations as if this match even meant something to them? Maybe the title fits here in regards to "redemption." It comes to no surprise they stuck with the same joke around tactics -- and that is the only sense of security they have walking into this match. They speak to us in the same exact manner that all that has fallen by our hands have. You two will pick up microphones thinking you are dropping the best things possible when in reality, we've heard it all before. Speak the way you feel! When looking at this match, it's no wonder The Iconomy is the selected warriors for this generation.




I'll watch all of your chest heed for when all of your last breaths leave you.


Act how you want, say what you will, this will be no different. The High Rollerz have already displayed a useful hint taking a new style of approach to our words. They reacted as if their backs are against the wall in this one., I like that. The problem here is they only see this company in black and white; there is a gray section in the middle. This company revolves around more than just win or lose.. there is a far more twisted side in how this company works. Success isn't built around how you do.. it's what are you willing to do. What lengths will you go to succeed. The Iconomy has shown time and time again we will bleed and we will make our opponents bleed if that what it takes to win. When we have foreign objects in our hands, it's not for an insurance policy, it's because that's what we will do to succeed. I don't and never have believed in limitations, I believe I can do things that NO ONE else think is possible. Make your excuses as to why we beat you completely out of the match at House of Glass, and while you're at it -- have your why we lost at RTR speech ready for the following Dynasty. Everyone looks at you and see's just what I see.. You're pathetic, worthless.. and time is just passing you by. Your idiotic comments are just you two clinging on to any bit of hope you have left in one another. Bring the fight to us, and we'll return the war that you could never win.. with a single mistake, your careers are in our hands. That's all it takes to put you permanently on the shelf and the fact that you don't realize it makes you two that much more of a nuisance. What makes you worthy to accomplish anything in this company? You've shown no passion nor will to put your body on the line just to be where you want to be. You've qualified for two title opportunities and in each one were completely taken out of the equation as a whole.. you didn't even come close. I can look you both in the eyes and say you have absolutely no future in this company and will stay right where you're at while looking up to The Iconomy as the future.


David is even showing major flaws in his all around plan to beat The Iconomy at RTR. Lack of team chemistry and downing your own partner will serve no purpose and lead you to failure just as you are clearly use to as of late. “That’s what Greg Ward is for.” Greg alone poses more of a threat than you ever will in your career. Belittle him if you will but mark my words, Greg Ward has a future in this company and will achieve it long before you come close to anything.  By the way, David. It’s not that we make claims that we are better than you for fun.. it’s fact. Mr. MVP, let me ask you something. Who are you trying to prove you’re worth something? Is it The Iconomy? Maybe EAW? Well to me it seems you’re trying to prove it to yourself. Forget this month has ever happened, David! Let’s rewind back to your Minnesota Timberwolves days. Even then, The Iconomy beat you around like it was nothing. Even then, we were more talked about than you. Even then, we were still BETTER than you. Who told you we want respect? Respect is something that people think lift their careers as a form of acceptance by the mass. Acceptance isn’t necessary to make it in this sport, Davey. The only reason we were placed on the pre-show was this FPV is stacked with matches containing huge events and the refs decided to push the Hexa gun pin fall over us in the Grand Prix.. speaking of which, I’m sure Semi-Finals are way further than you made it. Look at you, then look at me, David. There is no comparison between us! Week end and week out I go out there and put on some of the biggest and best matches out there! Any time I walk out there all you hear is Boos.. To me, that sounds like I made it. I don’t go out there putting my life on the line for the fans? I go out there and fight to be the best. Keep quoting Y2Impact! Go ahead and carry his luggage while you're at it because his Jock Strap is the closest you’ll ever be to his kind of success. Now I don’t see where you’re saying we aren’t everything we say we are considering our status. We’ve been to Main Events! We’ve beaten 80% of your “Dynasty’s Greats.”  Soon enough you’ll see just how strong and relevant The Iconomy is. Just as you’re use to The High Rollerz will lose, not because of Jack Ripley.. but because David Davidson stepped to the wrong dogs this time around.


Relevancy seems to be tossed around this company a lot recently.. to say The Iconomy isn’t “Relevant” is just as stupid as saying The High Rollerz will be the next EAW Tag Team Champions.


What left do we have left to prove? How much further would I have to go in order to make this company see? Time is up. That clock struck zero a long time ago. There is no need to please anyone, nor is there a reason we should want too. The Iconomy has shown their strengths and have been a very consistent threat in this company. Although the so-called “veterans” haven’t, why would they? Our sole purpose is to beat them out of this company and to replace them with the next generation. Rest assured, I know of a very select few that have acknowledged The Iconomy’s talent and power.. and that is all we need to deliver the fatal blow.. burning this chapter of mediocrity and disappointment this past generation plagued this company with.


Keep testing us EAW. Sooner rather than later, you’ll learn the severity of your actions towards the next generation.


Dynasty can Crumble.


Showdown can fade.


Voltage can lie into eternal rest.


This company can breath new life and revive it’s true form.

Divided We Stand, United We Conquer.
J-Dynasty 2?
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 17th 2015, 6:02 pm by J-Dynasty 2?
Jaywalker promo

They say that man through evolution see’s the colour green in more shades than any other due to the experience of detecting predators and the food we ate in the wilderness, I believe I alone in my years amongst the people of EAW have too evolved to see different shades in what occurs here in this land. Long ago, the words of Brian Daniels would have angered me, to witness such impudence towards my person from such a little man would be cause for much anguish within my soul, but I am no longer a competitor here in EAW. My vantage point has shifted. I am a force of nature, I am the reaper. A hurricane does not fret over a house miraculously left standing at the site of its destruction, the inevitable does not feel cheated by those who have a brush with death only to survive momentarily longer, and thus neither do I. Jacob was tested, and so was Tyler, and so will Tyler again with the rest of you, anyone who comes my way or attracts my attention will be faced with a cataclysm that will either take them to their fall, or have them escape as a sign of their worth for a time. My purpose is to bring calamity, and in this cull know that demise is eventual for all those that it is due.

Brian Daniels, I’d suggest you’d not test fate too greatly, I’d warn you of the repercussions of trying to dive into waters you have not had one of your feet test the deepness of first, for the dangers you brazenly confront may just wash away this little title reign of yours that you hold precious. Many men have made the mistake of taking their momentary time on top and allowing it to go to their small brains, only for me to come in and have them brought low in the most unforeseen events, do not make yourself on of these people. Being world champion does not guarantee your safety, one of the last times I can recall stepping into the ring with a world champion was when I faced Extreme Enigma, and I gave him a lariat so decapitating that it broke his neck and vacated his title while he was sent to the shelf…….and that was an accident while I was simply trying to win a match in a time he and I had rekindled a companionship of sorts, so you can only imagine what types of carnage I can inflict if I truly in my heart desire to bring harm to someone I have grown to have a distaste for. Do not forget who and what you are talking to, it only takes the brunt force of my strike to send one to the infirmary.

As for Tig Kelly, a cub ought to know when to remain quiet when in the lions’ den before those who are grown have to take action. I do not grasp where you obtain such over-confidence, nor do I care, but if you think for one solitary moment that you are capable of being anything more to me than a mere nuisance and dare attempt to step up to me know that you’ll be nothing more than what they call the kids targeted by drones in the middle east, grass cut before it grows too long. There is only one beast who will be crushing skulls and taking head’s off in this match, and know very well that it is the man who speaks before you now. Both you and Rhaegar combined, despite your antics of pretending to be nearly as ruthless as I, could not level the competition in the way that I can alone, perhaps you do not have the soft hearts that Tyler and Brian Daniels have, but you are not hardened in the ways of demolition here just yet.

Rhaegar, your insolence towards MY home will not continue to go unpunished much longer.  Perhaps because people like your brother soiled this company and made it soft you think that these people are the natural state of EAW, but the true mettle of EAW has always been in its harshness and the habitat that forces men to go to the extreme. As long as I stand, such will never stop being the case. Rhaegar, you forget yourself, you were defeated at my hands no long ago, proving that you are not above being brought low by the forces of the EAW landscape, simply because you find shelter in focusing on other opponents who so too ought not be here does not give you the right to walk around like you’ve made a cakewalk out of EAW when its true hardships have shown to be too great for you time and time again. You merely fall off your two wheeled bike and get on a four wheeled one, then act as if you’ve become some sort of master because you escape the bumps and the bruises. Your obsession with these buffoons, and your brother, will not change that you will be in the ring with a man who does not fit the description of anything you speak of, for I do not care for championships, I only care to wipe each and every single one of you off the map and fix the ecosystem of this land.
The Consigliere
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 17th 2015, 5:29 pm by The Consigliere
HBG: Your quest for justice and righteousness may have left the fans in tears and supporting you through the way hoping that Dynasty Wrestling survives another month on its own, but I see clearly through the charade, Lucian. You're calling us out for our morality, and you continue to try to do the right thing in a feeble attempt to put the guilt of your recent mistakes behind. You are guilty of the fact that you are the instrument which made Dynasty Wrestling separate itself from EAW, and was supposed to not air again. You left your co-workers unemployed, you killed their spirit so cruelly that they had to make a desperate effort just to keep their dead-end unfulfilled jobs, by breaching contract and risking settlement because your incompetent ass couldn't keep it for them. You are the main reason why everything is blowing up on your brand, why you have to fight weekly for its ratings to keep it on air, why you have to deal with your unhygenic redneck fans who spend far too much time cheering for equally mentally retarded Elitists like The Iconomy. You are the reason why Zack Crash, despite being only part of the roster, can still walk around with a smirk on his face thinking he's in control of the operations, taking Championships from your moronic elitists, and taking part in god-awful games that wasted everyone's time, and no one could do anything about it. 

So how does it feel, Lucian? How does it feel to be a miserable fuck-up who has succeeded only at complicating the situation? How does it feel being known only for being that one clumsy oaf who couldn't watch his back in moments where it actually counts? How does it feel being that one kid who got caught by his grandma jacking to horse pornography which resulted in her heart attack? 

It's a metaphor, Lucian. Relax.

I know that taking pity is the only way you can still prove you have some shred of credibility, that you're capable of righting your wrongs, but Lucian, you should have known better than to expect I'd actually buy this. I'm way too familiar with this game to be deceived. Seeing competitors in this company who desperately try to gain the support of their idiot fans just to gain some sympathy and the boost necessary to get some inspiration to propel their garbage careers forward is a frequent sight for me. And when they're inspired enough to actually gain some relevant match wins, they start to get arrogant, they begin to reveal that what the fans saw and supported was far different from their actual personality and they have been wearing a mask all this time. And never in my career have I done what people like you do these days, Lucian. I never pretend to be someone I'm not in order to get these dumb fans to support my ideals and to agree with my thoughts. I'm pretty upfront. I state my intentions clearly and I do my best to follow through. When the door closes on me? I kick it open and break my way in. If there's no opportunity left? I create one and I don't ever squander it, like you've done with yours over and over again. No one would dare call me names like incompetent or a failure because they can't actually back it up without digging up information on the internet. No one would threaten to break my bones or tear my flesh without getting a hell of a fight for for their slander, and they all eventually lose. I didn't state all the hardships I've been through in order to gain pity and tell everyone in this match that I've been through hell, I stated it to prove that I'm still alive and I seek to destroy even in moments where you think I'm done and dead. I fight for extreme with every breath I take -- until my bones break, until I shatter into pieces -- I will fight with everything I have. And I don't really care if you think your 2-month alliance with Jacob Senn will do you any favors and that he would actually keep your head up and guide you through this match since he couldn't even protect Christopher Corrupt at Midsummer Massacre even if it meant gold on their shoulders. You're a walking abomination, teamed up with exactly your kind. You are a sad desperate fool who only leeches energy off "big moments" like the "previous years" Grand Rampage which happened, what, almost five years ago? Which, what, you didn't even win? You shattered his dreams at the time, maybe, but the fact of the matter is he always will be ahead of the curve, flaunting his six world title reigns, and multiple other championships like the one he has now, while you have absolutely nothing to call your own, but every reminder that gold is too good for someone like you. You'll find yourself in the corner of your germ-infested bedroom crying about the fact that you were never man enough to take his Answers World Championship from him back then, and you're still not man enough to defeat him now. 

You can be as obnoxious as you please and still tell me with a straight face that you've actually earned some respect, but let me spell it out for you, Lucian -- no one respects you and no one agrees with you. They're not laughing with you, they're laughing at you, and nobody can stand the sight of you. You think this might be yours and Dynasty Wrestling's time -- the night you make up for all of your mistakes and all the times you fucked up just so you can cleanse yourself of guilt -- but it will only result in yet another pathetic attempt on your side. Indeed the fans await you, but not your road to redemption, they await yet another failure, yet another mistake, as they add one more to the list on how Lucian Black has failed to protect his own brand and in how many more ways can he disappoint, but that's only assuming they still have faith in you. 

Sometimes I'm left sitting here BAFFLED about what Clark Duncan says. And no, not for the reasons you think. It's not because he has addressed me and threatened me in ways that other people have already done. It's not because he keeps saying that he has let go of this victory and yet couldn't keep himself from replaying the events of that night, which lead me to believe that it might be the only defining, noteworthy victory he's had in the entirety of his career. Are you going to be living that moment when I bash your face against the Chamber walls, Clark? Is that still what you're going to think about when Hexa-gun puts Zack Crash out of power, which either me or Y2Impact will be responsible for upon deftly annihilating every single one of you, leading to your unexpected defeat? See this is why nobody takes you seriously, Clark, you are truly fixated on the idea that one situation, one victory is predictive of how your future matches will flesh out, and that you've actually found your spirit when we both know it's far from reality and this is just the beginning. You think people like me, people like Y2Impact, never learn from their mistakes and are completely ok being on the losing side twice in a row. But look at our record, Clark. Look at all the weekly victories, and the monthly victories we have had against teams who have shown more will and determination than you and Crash ever had. Teams who did more damage to us but couldn't completely get the job done, who went out of their way to ambush us in our matches with steel chairs, with sledgehammers, even with nothing but their fists, in a comical attempt to back us in the corner, to live out the delusion that they actually are in control and they could get the upper hand, but in the matches that conclude it all, in the matches that puts a decisive finish to their never-ending parade of stupidity, they do nothing but fail in the end. As you will this Saturday.

EXTREME is not a fantasy Hexa-gun has created. It is our code, it is where we breathe and fight as individuals and as a team. It is our goal for this company. And win or lose, it is what we continue to fulfill, it's what we continue to fight for. 

Passion has been lacking on Dynasty Wrestling's side, there's Lucian Black with yet another slew of half-baked statements peppering his speech with idle threats, while here's Jacob Senn downplaying the situation, making a sad attempt to be the voice of reason. I understand that you don't want a debate, and to be honest with you I'm quite sick and tired of explaining the wonders of Extreme Wrestling to idiot pea brains who never in a billion years will understand the glowing opportunities that Hexa-gun has in mind for this company and the true display of greatness that Extremists will showcase when they are indeed out for blood. It's not my fault that you completely miss every point I make, Senn. It's not my fault that you're always on full-retard mode when you address The Mercenaries, and you think that it's our fault that Christopher Corrupt is a brainless twat who couldn't take matters into his own hands without breaking an arm, and you're here seeking justice for it! Seriously, why is it so difficult for you to comprehend? Why do you pretend that this is just another match with nothing at risk and that it won't affect you in any way if you end up losing it, and you're just sitting happily once upon a time on a winter morning wearing a pink furry coat thinking about sunshine, and lollipops, and rainbows, while Lucian Black, while just as speech-impaired as you, shows more bravery and will than you've ever proven you could? Oh! Of course! You are saving yourself the mess of a verbal dispute because even you have no faith in Lucian. You know you have this match lost because you're not only handling the team that you think is under control but is actually just pulling your strings like the stupid googly-eyed puppet you are and dragging you along for the ride, and another who has defeated you and would undoubtedly take pleasure in doing it again and again. You know that this is a lost cause for you, Senn, because Dynasty Wrestling always had weak competitors, and even their strongest stand no chance against me, against The Mercenaries and against Hexa-gun any day of the week, and we have proven that. You know that one way or another, things will never go your way, and after all of it, you'll be thankful that you didn't state any forward intentions or march forth with some righteous act, and continued to stay the middle-man through all this instead of talking a tough game beyond your meaningless threats. And that's why you're nothing. That's why Dynasty Wrestling is getting flushed down the toilet, and you have to fight for whatever it's worth in every single big event knowing it could be downsized entirely in one fell swoop. But don't worry, Senn. The Mercenaries will take good care of Dynasty Wresting, and make sure that your weak competitors turn into blood-thirsty savages who feel the need to kill, making certain that they don't only seek to destroy their opponents, but to fight for dominance that would lead them at the top of the foodchain trampling over dead bodies, pretty much what Y2Impact and I intend to do in the chamber. Because that is The Mercenaries' way. That is the Hexa-gun way. 

That is Extreme Answers Wrestling.
J-Dynasty 2?
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 17th 2015, 4:02 pm by J-Dynasty 2?
Tiberius Jones promo

If I was Brett Kennedy I imagine I’d whine about the certainties in life. I’d moan at how my math teachers would repeatedly inform me that 2 + 2 = 4 no matter which class I’m in, and no matter how many times I try to make the numbers add up to something else. I would stomp my feet and yell whenever anyone tells me that Michael Jordan was the star of the Chicago Bulls in his era.

Since I’m not, I know truth tends to be consistent.

Truth is, Aria Jaxon is one of the most touted vixens in EAW today, with a career defining feat to her name in winning the Empress of Elite tournament, while Brett just isn’t up to snuff.

Brett Kennedy seems to have a problem with such things being old, but Hexa-puns and calling us lackeys are fresh ground breaking things in EAW! They must be, or that’d be pretty hypocritical of him now wouldn’t it?

The difference between these much repeated tales that Brett and I have stated is that what I say is relevant and shows telltale signs in what occurs throughout EAW. Us being “lackeys” have never interfered with our game, don’t forget that at Civil War it was I who pinned Mr.DEDEDE, team captain of our opposition. Hexa-gun has never shown any signs of our unity breaking, or disrespect being common within our ranks. Brett Kennedy? It keeps him up at night, and even he admits he’s usually the one getting his ass kicked, and if memory serves during the whole Minns era in their affair there was a whole period of time in which Aria treated Brett like he was a worthless piece of trash lucky to be in her presence, under no circumstance would the Mercenaries attempt to do that to us, let alone I to Drake or vice versa. I don’t care to know how they resolved their issues, or why it all happened, the fact remains that Aria threw Brett under the bus and it was a common joke for weeks as it continued. How can one pretend to be a tag team worthy of being held to the same league as Drake & Jones when envy and disgust seep from the cracks in their collaboration? They aren’t as tightly knit as they attempt to portray, they’re knock offs and I’ll call them out for it just like anyone with an eye for the authentic would! You wouldn’t accept fool’s gold, you wouldn’t want to walk the streets with fake Jordans on or keep a baseball with a fake autograph on display, not if you have any pride, so why would you accept them on top of the tag team division?

You question my ability, Brett, but where’s your championship credentials? I’ve been a champion, you’ve yet to amount to anything.

Aria and Brett, you can have all these strange fantasies about our relationship with the Mercenaries all you want, you can try to glow and glisten based on some fluke you had over them too, thinking that for some reason that bothers me, but to me our relationship is no different than a Lupe Fiasco appearing in Kanye West’s “Touch the Sky” to hit the big leagues, or Kanye towards Jay Z for that matter. We’re all just playing the game of our talents being able to be broadcasted beside those who respect our skills and allow us to prove ourselves in the spotlight they bring. They use us, we use them, I don’t see what’s complicated about it, nor do I see what is degrading, it’s common sense to do things when everyone has something to gain out of it. Right now you can look at us in any way you’d like if it makes you feel better, but don’t be shocked when the time comes where the Mercenaries and Drake & Jones are looked at as the same type of relationship of Dr.Dre and Eminem, Drake and I are here to make some moves! We’re here to take on weak tag teams, and make reality slap them upside their heads! Under the legends of Y2Impact and The Heart Break Gal, something all the more chaotic and frantic is brewing to make a storm of its own that’ll level the whole playing field.
Dennis Caffrey
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 17th 2015, 3:14 pm by Dennis Caffrey
{The annoying interviewer who always stalks The High Rollerz is standing by with David Davidson, getting ready for an interview.}

Interviewer: Ladies and gentlemen I am pleased to be joined by one half of The High Rollerz, my good friend David Davidson! How are you?

Trying to make small talk? Acting like we are buds again? Just stop man. You're embarrassing yourself. If you were to drop dead right now, on camera, people wouldn't care. They would just shrug it off and proceed with their daily activities. But I'm great thanks for asking. 

Interviewer: Any time David Sad. David last time I interviewed you, I asked you a question you didn't like, but I'm afraid I will have to ask it again. 

Oh why would you do such a thing? You are going out of your way to make me upset? Why? What is this agenda of yours? How pitiful. 

Interviewer: It's my job, sir. For three straight matches, Jack has let you down, by getting pinned in all of them. People continue to say that he is holding you back and quite frankly, I agree. What is your opinion?

I agree. 

Interviewer: Wait what?

I said I agree. He's the weak link. He no longer has the drive that helped establish our names. Remember when we were ready to breakout? On a third match, we had a shot at the tag titles. Fans were blown away by our performance. They kept telling us that we had a bright future ahead of us! Just last week, Jacob Senn said the same thing. It wasn't a question of if we were going to become tag team champions, but when. Now? We are on a losing streak. We went from a promising young core like the Minnesota T-Wolves, to now a terrible young core like the Philadelphia 76ers. I'm being dragged down, but I'm still an MVP caliber player. I'm a leader out there! But my supporting cast is lacking. A quarterback can throw a perfect sixty yard spiral to a wide open wide receiver in the end zone but it doesn't mean jack shit if he drops the ball. Jack has dropped the ball. He continues to find ways to let me down. Our new career path of professional wrestling was supposed to be a fun one. A way to make even more cash. This is no longer fun. I'm sick of Jack being a ball and chain around my ankle. I've proved that I can be a great singles wrestler. I'm undefeated in such competition. But even with all of that said and with my emotions being out in the open, he's still my best friend and he will continue to be so until the day die. My words were harsh, I own up to that. My intentions weren't necessarily to bring Jack down like the old Berlin Wall, but to motivate him. To ease back on the partying like I have. When's the last time he even said a word? He's too busy being hungover. He doesn't take responsibility well. So Jack if you hear this, carry your own weight. Show me you still want to become successful in this business. If not? Well hopefully we won't have to find out the answer to that question. 

I know what your next question is going to be. It's going to be about the pre-show match at Road to Redemption. The Iconomy vs The High Rollerz and Greg Ward. That's what it says, but what it will really be is The Iconomy vs David Davidson. God knows if Jack will even show up and Greg? To be honest I never even heard of the guy until last week when he lost to Chris Elite. I'm teaming with two underachievers. Sorry Jack but it's true. The only reason why I'm even into this random ass match is because of The Iconomy. You see they always try to find a way to disrespect us. Not a new way though, always the same old shit. They always talk about how much better they are than us. Only problem is they aren't. The High Rollerz have been struggling yes and perhaps they have more wins than us in this month alone. But does it matter? They don't have any gold around their waists and even with their minimal success, they are a pre-show act at best. That's why you three formed as one right? You were tired of being overlooked because your names didn't bring excitement. On Dynasty its always been about guys like Brian Daniels and Carlos Rosso and Lucian Black and Tyler Parker and Jacob Senn and Ryan Savage and TLA and.. I think you get the point. There is no JJ Silva or Chris Elite or Eclipse Diemos in that list and neither is my name. I get that. People aren't talking about me because of the fact that I'm stuck. Stuck with someone who simply doesn't give a fuck and maybe I should have the same mindset. I'm not a wrestler. I'm just a greedy money whore. I don't breathe this business, in words of Y2Impact. I won't make the same sacrifices as most. And I don't have to. I'm not willing to put my body on the line for this company. Fuck that. I'm not stupid. I know you three are hungry to get some respect, as well as a win and I'm not going to put myself in the middle of a pack of wolves. That's where Greg comes in. That's even where my best friend comes in because I'm tired of trying to carry others on my back every damn weak. You think you're good Greg? Go out there and show me and the rest of the world something. But if you can't even beat Chris Elite one on one, then there is no hope for you either. You and Jack would get along quite nicely. That's it. That's all I have to say. No jokes, no tricks up my sleeves. That's it.
avatar
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 17th 2015, 1:38 pm by My Watch Has Ended
The norm for me is that once again, even though I want to invoke fear in these rodents, it becomes pretty clear that it’s nothing but child's play to them. To me, there is never a locked door for opportunity and for me, to get to an opportunity, I say the door is pretty wide open because I have a greater shot if anything on taking glory home with me. But that can easily be overlooked because of the past and how the reputation is so low, the Titanic couldn’t sink any deeper. But its stupidity at its finest and I shouldn’t be negated due to these thoughts because I open a possibility of an alternative, something these idiots don’t even fathom. What if Liam Catterson wins the Answers World Championship? Shudders of dread rises pretty quick, nobody wants to assume the possibility it could happen yet, I’m the only person with the brains to even consider the possibility. You either ignore it like a bad infection that ruins all, which is quite metaphorical if you ask them about a possibility of my second reign or you reject every piece of optimism I have because you fear the chance opening for me. I know deeply that a second world championship is calling and my earliest opportunity to claim it lies in this weekend. I will not stay ignorant to the fact this year has been far from generous to me but that ends this weekend. It’s come to the point where no matter your legacy, no matter your records; no matter if you have a right to be called ‘champion’, it fails your hard efforts to silence me. I refuse to break, I refuse to submit to those considered greater than me but in the end, nobody will get the message and I am so intent on making their ignorance the remorse they shall be haunted by during their Christmas period. Most of my threats this week choose to acknowledge ignorance but one man assumes he can fight off the entire world because of how great he is. I have to be the reminder of how that word no longer bares relevancy to who he is today, but don’t worry, you’ll experience what my words meant through actions this weekend, you’ll see! 


Tell me folks, are we supposed to be surprised that DEDEDE proclaims his right to knowing everything in this world? I’m sorry, if you were shocked by the direction in which DEDEDE addressed my comments, you’re thicker than shit. DEDEDE, the man who has been the pinnacle of this company for years is also the man to hold the key to every single piece of knowledge about every single employee that has worked here in the past or is working here today. Or so he’d like to assume that identity because I am just certain that more and more, it isn’t just his in-ring capabilities that are shit but what comes out of his mouth is also shit too. What was I overlooking? According to the man himself, the fact that DEDEDE has accomplished a lot for this company and that he is one of the greatest names to be chiselled on the list of names of those who EAW cannot be the same again if they weren’t to exist within the company? Bullshit, never for one moment have I ignored your accomplishments and what you’ve done for this company. In fact, I referenced it but not today because I am not seeing you as the man who still holds the capabilities to achieve those accomplishments you were able to pull out years ago but just to reiterate, they have decayed. Age does that to us all but there has been a noticeable decline for you for quite some time and the fact that you’re concerned for the likes of Ryan Savage, a guy that was too shit scared to even fight for a world championship quite some time ago, is bothering me because that is not the DEDEDE I saw. The DEDEDE I was recognized was a man who many were best advised to steer away from unless they were to either want to test their career beyond the limits to fracture them for good or were too stupid to assume they’d actually get the upper hand over. You have no right to dictate the feelings over realism over championship victory. NO FUCKING RIGHT! Do you think for one tiny second, I should consider your words to accept the fact I have no hope on claiming the championship? You speak so delicately yet with this delusional tendency to become a sheep on EAW. Repeating the same shit I’ve heard from most of the people in this company, that I am the only person with no chance on becoming champion. You really think Ryan Savage has a chance? You really think Scott Oasis has a chance? Your mind is supposed to be intelligent yet those words of Liam Catterson being the only guy in this chamber match to be isolated from the possibility of victory begs to differ, the same choice of words that shows kindness towards two scrubs who if they become champion then hell will officially freeze over. But keep at it, DEDEDE, the same man who is telling me that I am the odd one out is the same person who weeps over a bitch like Savage. Give me a break…
The Heart Break Boy
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 17th 2015, 11:16 am by The Heart Break Boy
This is one very thing wrong about our Elitist nowadays. They are believing that they're "important." They don't believe in the future of this company instead keeping their own eyes on themselves. I understand that we have to watch after ourselves in this business but in order to prosper and get where you want to be, you also have to take account how you may establish order as a leader or face of this company. I don't take anyone seriously without a purpose in their strive for success. Thomas Minns may say that his purpose is just being a EAW Champion. But IF you win that title then what? Are you going to give us something new to bring onto the table? Are you going to show us how you are the VERY best EAW Champion there ever was? Or will you continue to ball up and stay phased as you are, a loud-mouth, who doesn't approach his thinking before speaking, whom believes that everything he does is out perfection? I have expected for someone generic as Thomas Minns to tell me how he had something far more important to do later on that night after our match. At first, I thought it was a worthy response until I looked back on recent history of champions or even staring in the hearts of them.

A real champion doesn't stray away from competition. He doesn't tell every opponent that they're "not" worthy enough to step in the ring with them. Because if that was a fact, I would come out every single time that a match happened and tell every single opponent this most used phrase. I could easily tell Thomas Minns that he isn't worth talking to my EAW Hall of Fame ring or my OWN EAW Championships. But I won't do that because I know that I'm not important. This EAW Championship shot hasn't come by often before this year. I have indeed bid for a shot this year to correct our misguided Minns. And its something that I never take lightly at all. So since Thomas MInns eyes the Prodigal Son as an embarrassment, I'm going to also correct him in how not six but EIGHT years of doing what I do with breaking chins and printing golden sores can do to you.

And maybe also since I'm not worthy enough in his eyes, he might LUCK up himself and get a chance to experience this tradition.

Kudos to you as well, Xavier. You're not doing what you are told about this business because you believe that your name can spark out ahead of guys like I, Y2Impact, Mr. DEDEDE or a CM Banks. That's good, I always say that you're your own person and can impact to solidify a Hall of Famed career. In many ways, we have ordered our own legacies around in EAW. I didn't immediately come out and tell the world that I'm the "Best in the World," or even the "Greatest of All Times." I had to prove it first. I had to accomplish everything in my career in order to obtain those titles. Of course, I barely look at them now but by God, my Father, I'm always going to boast on being considered one of those things. This is my calling to this business and I'm meant for greatness, not to stroke my ego, but to admit the truth of that matter. If we aren't meant or built for greatness, there's no reason for us to continue this line of work. Now, Xavier, I have no issues with you calling yourself the "Best in the World," but I have an issue that you have yet to prove to me this ordained empire. You have yet proved to me why you should surpass a guy like CM Banks. You have yet proved to anyone that you deserve to be in the upper class or beyond all those household names. Maybe you can prove that in this elimination chamber match. Then I could take your EAW Championship reign, where you beat me and Diamond Cage for seriously. I could take your "Best in the World," title seriously. Thomas Minns is far from the "Best in the World," and I'm not saying that you aren't the best. I'm just simply saying PROVE IT. And you're right about ONE thing, I do hide behind the Bible because its truth. It's also one thing that I ask for when I pray to God and that's to hide me behind the Cross so I may give Him the glory and more as I enter this match and I completely arose my way to a victory.

You say that you have proved how you are the greatest EAW Champion ever, which everyone has to say about themselves who have caught up with the title. But until you hold that title with more dignity and honor. Until you hold that title longer than a Cleopatra Vixens Championship reign. Until you have held that title where I can give you all honor for what you have done or completed, especially the way you've received it. Then I can give you credit. However, there's no such thing, Xavier and you may better step it up in this match before the "Best in the World," as well turns into no such thing.

As for my partner in crime, Pizza Boy, I'm glad that you have decided to cut all things off and consider this match a career threaten display. And I didn't have to teach you that. Far as Stand & Deliver is considered, we are ONE and will continue to embark on our mission to change the world. I believe in you as there are a lot of people who don't believe in you. Far as I'm concerned, there are many people that love to subject our team as an ego boost and wrong motives. We have to be real with ourselves. In this Elimination Chamber match, how in the world can you not try to bring your VERY best? If Pizza Boy and I had teamed up against anyone else in this match, it would be a complete travesty, unlearned method to those who may wind up in this match as teams and doesn't show us how the Heart Break Boy operates. I'm a man of righteousness and do not bound myself to "cheat" to win. If I win, I want to win without any flaws. I want to win coming in with a pure mindset and walk out with that same mind. So there's no choice in what we may face in this match. I just tell you to bring on your greatness. I tell you to see me as the man across from that ring if I were Mexican Samurai. I want a full-effort from you to try and destroy me. I want a loose tooth, I want a sore body and I want to come out of this match, knowing that it stole the show. It's what I have been doing for years and I'm going to continue doing it. Further from that, I'm also going to try and achieve that ultimate goal to become EAW Champion once again, whether anyone sees it or not. Don't be surprised when I'm walking out with a strap that I'm accustomed to throughout my entire career.

This is why I'm one of the best, Jamie O'Hara and no matter how old that I may seem to be, I can still carry my weight with the very best at any given night. At the age of 37, I never thought to be doing this same type of work. Of course, God had other plans for me even when I went blind in 2014. I definitely considered it a drop then but now since I've been back for a while, there's no place for the sympathy of what I've gone through in my life. It's the valuable moment to measure up the time that you will cling onto that EAW Championship. You deserved it, right? Well just like Xavier, I want you to prove it. Honestly, if I were in the same carnal thinking mind, I would be like Jaywalker and tell everyone else that I have nothing to prove of my excellence. But since I still feel that old school competitiveness in me, I'm not only going to be bold enough to say that I'm going to grasp in the minds of you all as the better man on this night. I'm going to boldly tell you that I'm going to crush a young man's dream to travel from country to country wearing that golden platform around his waist. I'm going to be the man to tell you that and also PROVE IT. My Road of Redemption started a long time ago and it never ended. Since it may be my final time ever being able to perform at this type of event, it ends it here. And it ends with YOU, Jamie O'Hara as an eye-witness that I'm still and will ever be the very same...

Golden Boy.


Last edited by The Heart Break Boy on December 17th 2015, 4:56 pm; edited 1 time in total
Cailin Dillon
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 17th 2015, 10:38 am by Cailin Dillon

((OOC Note: This is the last promo for me this week. Heading to Las Vegas this afternoon and not getting back until Sunday night. Good luck to everyone this week!!))
 
Road to Redemption #3
 
A dashboard camera flips on and shows Cailin Dillon driving through the highways of east Texas, headed for New Orleans. She looks out at the distance between small towns where there’s nothing but farmland and smiles.
 
I love these sorts of drives. Most hate them. Most people probably think it’s boring. But what I see out there is decades of hard work to make a living. What I see is pure openness. When something is open like this land is, it’s innocent and vulnerable. In a way, it’s sort of like Haruna. She always has a way of leaving herself open and vulnerable to an attack from any and all directions. When I exposed your seven sins, I opened up a wound that you won’t soon close. The problem is, while you can admit them, they haven’t made you stronger at all. That’s been proven already. If those sins made you stronger, and you truly embraced them, then they wouldn’t be the same reason you have failed as a tag team partner. Notice I say as a tag team partner, and not as a tag team. Cloud Matsuda is a talented wrestler, and you two should have formed a strong, formidable tag team that could compete with anyone. But you didn’t do that. You, Haruna, chose to whine about the arrangement. You hated the name, you wanted to be just a singles competitor and you were being booked too much. Do you honestly think EAW didn’t want to give you a break the week we fought? You think they’re out to get you? This is how those sins still affect you. It’s still the woe-is-me style of Haruna who can’t get past her own self. You are your own greatest enemy. Yet you think this somehow makes you stronger, and you think you are able to gather all those sins together as a source of power. This is just false in so many ways. These sins are not the same kind of flaws you’d want to embrace. You’re trying to channel my own voice by going in that direction, I can sense that. But let me give you this advice: stick to writing your diaries and hope for the best. I toyed with writing in a diary once, and even I can admit that it’s not my style — it’s yours. So why do you think you can embrace the flaw of acting like a down on your luck loser, and that it would somehow make you a better fighter? You’re doing it wrong, hun. That’s not how this works, and you should know that. Your best opportunity in the last few months hasn’t been in singles action. What you should have embraced was Sexy Curry. What a great opportunity. With both of you at your best, and with you in the right mindset, I can’t imagine what you guys could accomplish. Embracing your sins doesn’t turn you into anyone else it just makes you worse. Flaws are not sins, you’ve confused the way this all works.
 
I don’t understand the love and honor you think you are fighting for. Maybe the honor part, but the love bits got me a little hazy. I’ve gotten to where I am today because of hard work. You remember how I was before. I was like that kid that doesn’t study because they think they’ll just get a good grade regardless. I wasn’t happy with just a passing grade, so I transformed myself into a bit of an overachiever. That’s why I’m where I’m at right now. It’s not about any evil spirits or anything magic. You talk about not needing evil to conquer your soul? You let your own emotions bury your soul in a deep pit of despair long ago. You seem to think you can waltz into Road to Redemption and just snatch the title right back. You still like the same gold obsessed, Gollum wannabe that I faced a few weeks ago. I always though you were different than that. I always though Haruna was truly stronger than all of this. When we first started to speak, and talk about your career here, you always spoke of your loss at Pain for Pride as if it defined whom you were. You let it define who you became. And even now, after you’ve tasted a championship reign and then lost it, that moment is what’s pull at your heartstrings and driving you. The truth is, I’m the one who doesn’t need the extra motivation to win. I’m coming into this match knowing exactly what I want to do, and that’s beat you again and start this title off on the right track. You might have been the first to hold it, but I can promise you I will be the one that gives this title what it deserves. But you still approach all of this as if someone out there is against you. You still speak of your detractors. You still think everyone wants you to lose every match, but you don’t realize these same people used to cheer your name and saw you as one of the best this Vixens division could offer. You don’t realize, Haruna, that you let everyone pass you by while you sat idly and didn’t make a noise. And once again, it all goes back to one loss. I always thought you were strong enough to kick that, but now I see your strength is dwelling on the past and being able to muster up enough words that you think you can strike intimidation or fear into me. I’m not sorry to say this, but the last person I’m scared of these days is you. There isn’t a single person up and down this division that is unbeatable, and I’ll admit that. But you are not someone I’m afraid of. I’m not scared that you might catch me off guard and beat me. I’m more than confident in the result this Sunday. I’m positive that nothing will change. No matter what type of match we have and no matter what the extra elements there are… even if this was just a regular one-on-one with no gimmicks, I’m going to beat you and I’m going to remain the Specialist champion. There’s no doubt in my mind about that.
 
We will always have a rivalry, but we never had to be considered enemies. That’s something that you wanted. For months now, you’ve been trying to develop ways to hate me, harboring new hatred for me that you developed from out of nothing. You will enter this match hungry and you will leave it starved. You will not be satisfied by the result of this match. It doesn’t matter how rough you think this match will be, I will outlast what ever you can throw at me. You’ve long developed these bullshit theories. You have told countless people there was a party waiting for me after the original for this title. You’re so full of crap it’s coming out of your ears. Quit fabricating these lies, Haruna. I don’t care what you think you saw. I didn’t plan anything, and I didn’t leave that match crying tears because I wasn’t a champion. I walked up the ramp disappointed, yes, but I wasn’t going to let something like that destroy me. I wouldn’t let it define me. I don’t let matches define me in a negative way like that. That’s just not my style, it’s yours. Had I won that night, I wouldn’t have even attended this faux party you speak of. I would have checked on Cloud, the girl you rammed neck first into the ramp. I would have checked on you, the girl who got electrocuted. I would have celebrated the match we all put together because it was freaking incredible. Can you even see that now? You’re so focused on trying to tell me I’m afraid of losing that I feel like you can’t. That all feels like ancient history now, the night you dug up every last ounce you had to win a title. And even after it, your attitude did not change.
 
Oh, and William Shakespeare never said that, smarty-pants. He actually said, “Oft expectation fails, and most oft there where most it promises.” Still, I get what you’re saying, I really do. The funny thing is, I think your quote applies to you far more than it does to me. I really don’t expect too much of anything from you, because I know you can’t live up to the expectations that were once put in place for you. In the end, you’ll just let us down again. We were friends long before we were enemies, and that never had to change Haruna. But you wanted this to be something different. You wanted me to be something that sparks something inside of you. Even if you succeed in doing that, it won’t be enough. Come Sunday, my reign as the Specialist champion will live on, and you will go down to the back of the pack.
 
Cailin reaches to the dash and turns off the camera as the scene ends.
『zakkii』
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 17th 2015, 10:32 am by 『zakkii』
EAW Promoz! (Section closed) - Page 39 O0240032012942003685

Haruna is seen at the local park, with a peaceful environement is around her. She is reading a novel as the camera zooms in to take a closer look. It was Hermann Hesse's "Beneath the Wheel", a novel about a story of an introvert person.

Haruna Sakazaki: Hans Giebenrath was a young talented man, born with a magnificent intelligence. Heis always consider himself as the prodigy. Everything's perfect was intacted in one single human being which is in Hans himself.He got the looks, the brain, everything except one thing..... the social interaction. Because of that thing, Hans decided to pull back from the society, hiding his natural talent and walk behind the scene to help people. The people of the village didn't realize that each and every improvement of their village is because one of Hans' contribution. He even leave his academical research to help people from the village but what he get from the villagers is totally different from every contribution he give to them. He got expelled from his school after his academic performance decreases plus the onset of symptoms of mental illness because of his pressure during his life. Since that thing happened, Hans' life turns into something miserable. The villager didn't trust him anymore, every time he goes out to the pub crawl, he always ended up drunk and fight. One day, he ran away and later he found dead drowning at the lake. That is the end of the prodigy named Hans Giebenrath.

Haruna Sakazaki: See, No. matter how hard you try, people will never see the progress of how you get that. People only want to see just the result. People only see how loud I complain about my own career but it is nothing if you compare about how much pain I get during all my journey. People saw me as the great wrestler since my arrival but when I'm down, they leave me and looking for some new better wrestler. Nobody appreciate how hard I fall and how eager I am to get back on track. Once I get back again. Nobody wants to see me anymore. Where did I go wrong? I fight for all of them, I fight because I want to give them a magnificent entertainment to enjoy. I want them to stay and rise on their seat, give their clap and appreciate everything I have already done but then again, I was wrong.... Everything I give to them means nothing if I already go deep down inside the pit of failure. Nobody wants to see me raise to the top, they only want another fresh talent who will soon get thrown after their time is done.

Haruna Sakazaki: But.... I refuse to be Hans Giebenrath who ended up losing against his mental pressure. I still have my sanity to keep me walking to my path. I will never listen to any negative thought about me. I decided to remain silent and never give any knowledge I only care about myself and I've proven it worth. Even if I lost, I still don't care about it because for me, I didn't lose anything. My pressure comes because I've been guilty of failing to fulfill the people's expectation about me. I've got any pressure because of those people keeps giving me a diss just because of my one wrong move. I refuse to end my life right now because starting in here, I work for nothing but myself. I raise this fist because I have a dream. I have a promise to fulfill.... I never give up until all those dreams realized. And if there's nobody care about all of this. I do! I do care about it all and I care very much! There's nobody in this world who can be me but myself and that is why from now on, I closed my eyes  and ears from any negative opinion as I will keep moving forward! I have rthe heart of the prodigy and unlike Hans, I only tell it to myself for my advantage.

Haruna Sakazaki: I like Cailin's plan who try  to dismantle me physically and mentally. That's because she knows that you can't beat me easily just by tearing me apart from limb to limb. She knows that I am the one amongst the vixen in that locker room who can't be easily beaten just by any traditional plan. Cailin, and I believe all those vixens are aiming for my vital spots.... My heart. That is my only flaw who can't be covered no matter how hard I try. This unstable and fragile heart is the only thing in me that everything go after. Because they believe that if they attack my heart, the strong and hard-willing Haruna can easily fallen. I admit that flaw, of course I know this unstable emotion can easily be exploited by my opponents for their advantage. Maybe, that is something that makes me walking in a constant motion. But I keep learning something.... Through the dark times in my career that I actually able to cover my heart with a solid steel. It's all because of me! I should stop giving me expectation to the people because I am what I am. As for right now, I am physically and mentally prepare toward this match.

Haruna Sakazaki: I avoid so many dramas in this building to keep me ready once again to keep me walking. That is because I want to go straight towards my own future without listening to anybody who said that they want to help me but just stabbing me in the back instead. I enjoy myself living in loneliness. I enjoy keep myself being in a peaceful and serene mind, building for my power to make me stronger to face the reality of my life. My match with Cailin this Saturday is a prove that I still can give my best to fight and eliminate all my threats in front of me. I failed to live in a title reign because of my own mistake. I don't want to blame anyone or anything because I am what makes I am. I lost that match because there is something wrong in me when I go to that match and all I need to do is to fine where's the spot and fix it. As for now, I finally realized my mistake and I promise it will never happen again.

Haruna Sakazaki: Cailin, once again, I never question about how much you prepare for this match. I never question about how much you want to show the world that you are relevant to the division. I had that spirit.... And just like you, I want to prove myself that I still have that spirit. It is our job to make that title as prestigious as the other title, even surpassing the others. But you surely don't want to hold that title just by an easy victory like the forgettable Age of Nova title reign. You want to keep that title even your body has been destroyed, crushed and broken because you defended it against someone credible to be your threat. I am in that front line... I am aiming for something reasonable for now. A victory, I don't want to expect so much about it. I know, that simplest task to do in this match has a lot of consequences whether is physically and mentally. Go ahead, Cai! Use your words to dismantle my emotion and mentality. I already prepare for it. This Saturday, it's gonna be more fierce battle than our last meet. My reign is short and I will make sure that yours is short as well, adding the day of reigns on my book of history. Titles can change hands so easily but the supremacy will live on forever. I will walk out the winner in our war and even if the reality say otherwise. I will never die by your hands. I will never die in that place after you beat me big time. I will keep geting up even stronger than ever because I learn my mistake and make sure it's not happening again. There is one thing I agree about what you said. At Road to Redemption, our battle can possibly be the match of the night. I agree to make that thing happen. Let us give the best battle in all Vixens Division history.... and about the winner, this time, I take control of the match, while I will got you.... beneath the wheel.

EAW Promoz! (Section closed) - Page 39 O0240032012945435809

She ends the scene by waving her hand towards the camera as the scene goes to an end.
Jamie O'Hara
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 17th 2015, 9:48 am by Jamie O'Hara
Road To Redemption Promo II
Pillars of Sand


Ah yes the dud arm.
 
As so many of you have liked to point out it’s a weak spot. Everyone will target it, I don’t doubt that, I’m prepared to have it squashed between someone’s boot and the steel grating or the chains or the glass or the canvas. Every attempt to once again snap my arm in two will be made. I say do it. Do everything you can to put me back on the shelf because what a fucking story it’s going to be when I, with one good arm walk out that chamber STILL the EAW Champion. A handicapped champion overcoming each and every one of you; if I ever needed a perfect opportunity to show that I’m just a class above all of you then this is it. Wounded, hurt, it doesn’t matter; superior talent finds a way to emerge victorious and you can bet everything that I will find a way. But I guess from the words you’ve all split none of you actually expected me to speak, none of you expected me to compete at Road to Redemption. Not just the contenders, but others have had the belief that I was simply going to walk away from this. No, not at all. My time away from the ring has been spent doing everything to be fit for this match. No alcohol, no late nights drinking in the pubs around the country. Every waking moment spent making sure this dud arm wasn’t going to be a problem come Saturday. You’re all free to target it at will but what lies beneath this cast? A broken bone or one that’s healed? Will I use this as a weapon because I feel no pain or use it because…well it hurts…a lot and I have a constant weapon at hand? So much fixation on an injury that none of you truly know it’s status; in fact Xavier Williams of all people should know the killer blow doesn’t require arms.
 
Did I wake up in 2014 or something? Thomas Minns is literally stealing the same lines that I heard for months. Coward, frightened, scared. I’ve heard it oh so many times before Minns. I’ve heard the same threats, the same jokes, the same mocking tone hurled towards me and every time that person has fallen into the depths of obscurity. The one, common theme amongst men like you is that you build yourself a platform of arrogance, of delusion to stand on. In your mind your pillars put you higher than the rest of us but time and time again those pillars are built from sand…and they fall away. Your platform, everything you talked yourself up to being, every threat you made, every joke you told comes crashing down. A fucking poet I am. Congratulations, it may have taken you some months but you’re no longer suck begging for a chance to prove yourself; do you want a medal? A cookie? Here’s why I don’t fear you Thomas, until you made that “statement” you did jack fucking shit. Being a cheap shot artist may have helped you get into this match but being one isn’t going to win you the EAW Championship. It wasn’t a shot towards myself but labeling someone like HBB as “not important enough” is about as fine of an example of the pot calling the kettle black as I can find. Anyone can do what you have done in recent weeks Thomas. Anyone can attack someone from behind, anyone can steal a championship, anyone can talk until their voice goes hoarse. You believe you’re “special”? You believe you’re a star? Once again, the answer is no. I mean your best victory so far in EAW was against who? Don’t avoid it, please tell me the great names you have defeated so far to prove your incredible ability!
 
Or don’t. Save yourself the embarrassment.
 
You decided to chuck a piss in the ocean thinking you were able to swing with the big boys but the reality is, the very harsh reality that you will sooner than later accept, you can’t hang with the best.
 
People like you Minns never amount to anytime. You talk and talk and talk but can never really get that grip on the higher rung. You can fall back on putting me on the shelf, you can fall back on taking my title, you can fall back on whatever “statements” you made to help you sleep at night but when that door closes and the bell rings you’re done. Again, you’re merely a secondary talent. From time to time we see such talent get their chances to shine but in the end they all fall back to competing against their own kind. Do you think I’m alone in thinking you’re worthless in this match? Far from the threat you oh so try to convince us of being? I’ll give you the time and attention; the first to be addressed, the one to be spoken to in such a fulfilling manner. Whether it’s by my hands, Xavier’s, Pizza Boy’s, HBB’s or our unknown combatant, once Road to Redemption is done nobody is going to see Thomas Minns as a main event quality athlete, nobody is going to see you as someone worthy of becoming world champion. Secondary. Secondary is what you’ll go back to being and secondary is what you will remain as for weeks, months, years to come. I have no doubt about that.
 
Tick…tick…tick….tick….
 
Your 15 minutes of fame are almost up. Make these final seconds count.
 
Xavier seems more content with sticking his fingers in his ears, closing his eyes saying “NO NO NO I’M STILL THE BEST! NO NO NO THEY’RE ALL WRONG! NO NO NO ALBERT HELP ME!”. I mean it’s cute that you think you gave ME a platform a year ago but come on, gave my accomplishments meaning and that I couldn’t “maintain your standards”; that’s just a fine example of clutching at straws Xavier, I expected better. I destroyed that platform you thought you built and replaced it with a greater one. One that had a place at Pain For Pride, one where it’s champion is given far more respect, one where the champion is picked to show why he’s the champion of the next generation. It’s well and truly in the past but it’s relevant because once again I’m going to do the very same thing. “The greatest EAW Champion”, that will end sooner or later.
 
But while you talk so little, someone else seemed to have obtained the wrong impression.
 
I’m not sure what you wanted me to say Pizza Boy. This is indeed business, we all scale the same ladder and vie for the same prize, the same accolades, the same achievements. We all have the one goal in mind when we reach this pinnacle; you will see why I threw such harsh words, such threats to someone I considered a friend when you yourself reach this point. The respect hasn’t disappeared, the sportsmanship will though. When we faced off some seven months ago for the first time this prize wasn’t on the line, I had all but a minor setback on the line. Lose to you? Maybe I would be walking into this chamber match once again a mere challenger. No, this time I’m the champion, I’m the bloke with EVERYTHING on the line, far more than any of you in this match. One month champion, I already carry the stigma of losing Cash In The Vault, I’m NOT going to carry yet another stigma. Win at all costs, you’re absolutely right; I will. The dirty, the dishonourable, the cowardly, the pathetic, whatever it is that I need to do to be the last man in that chamber standing – dud arm and all – I will do it. You can target the “good arm” all you wish, I don’t need arms to knock teeth down throats, I don’t need arms to put this match to bed before you blink. Versatility is a wonderful, wonderful trait to have. Don’t be worried Pizza Boy, I’m more than prepared for it to be targeted if you haven’t got the message just yet and while it seems quite wise to go for the one that works, ask yourself, is it really going to be worth the effort? Short answer is no.
 
Wise words, I expected nothing different. I expect nothing different than the best of the Heart Break Boy inside this match, anything less I would start to question if your old legs can go much further. I guess it’s a level of respect showing the decency instead of running the same lines that I’m sure the likes of Xavier Williams and Thomas Minns will use. At this point I would be rather concerned if I wasn’t capable of preparing for such a variety of talent. Last year gave me a taste of what to expect. A manipulative bastard in Zack Crash, a beast in Scott Diamond, an imposing force in Lannister, a champion who had proven the doubters wrong in Jacob Senn and the will, determination and recklessness for his own welfare in Diamond Cage. I haven’t forgotten just how much I have to deal with in this match; I haven’t skipped over the fact that while Minns doesn’t have a chance in hell, someone like Xavier does…someone like you is more than capable of walking out victorious. But truth is I don’t feel this match has a variety of “difficulty”. It’s far too unpredictable. Instead this comes down to pure will and nobody in this match comes close to matching me. While you have more experience in your thumb, I have far, far more will. I have no doubt that at some point this match on of our heads will fly off the shoulders; question is will it be from a boot of gold, or one of scarlet? You’ll get the best of Jamie O’Hara inside this chamber. You’ll see just how far I’ll go to create everything that you’ve created in your career.
 
I have been that one month champion before. I have been that guy to be humiliated so early in his reign. Years taken off trying to claw my way back to the top and truth is I don’t think I can take such a blow again. I’ll fight; bet your fucking arses I’m going to be a living nightmare inside that chamber. An indomitable force that won’t die, refuses to quit, will simply not leave that chamber as anything short of the champion. It doesn’t matter if you’re the brash kid or the person I call a friend, there is no forgiveness. No henchman signing your praises can do a damn thing. And no fucking God can stop me. Nobody is going to take this belt from me at Road to Redemption. Nobody is going to take it away from me at all.
 
And.

Still...
LVCIAN
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 17th 2015, 6:46 am by LVCIAN
I applaud you, Impact. I applaud you for finally growing some balls and showing yourself in front of these cameras. Now, I know that regardless if I win this match or not I won't be champion and the mistakes I committed before won't be rectified. I won't change the past, I know. It's set in stone, it is unalterable. I didn't sign up for this because I wanted to somehow change the past and become Answers World Champion. It's stupid of you to make that assumption. I came to terms with the fact I lost to you a long time ago. I overcame all of my past failures. That's the only reason I am still standing. That's the only reason I am still going. I don't want any compensations for prevailing in this war. What better compensation than providing you with the ass whooping of a lifetime? There's no sweeter joy than revenge. Getting my revenge is all I want. Not the Answers World Championship, not to amend my failures. I know there's so much at stake here. This isn't just a battle for redemption or retribution. This is a WAR for the future of this company. Don't think for a second I am going to allow you to disrespect me, Impact. I'm not the same kid you came face to face with at Reasonable Doubt! I have experienced metamorphosis after metamorphosis, I have evolved, excelled in a way nobody has ever been able to excel! If you don't want to treat me respectfully so be it.. I'LL MAKE YOU RESPECT ME!! I'm not a simpleton, you are if you think I am still the same person I was five years ago. These days I am considered a "man of honor" but I promise I won't live up to that moniker this Saturday when our paths cross once again! Screw honor, you don't deserve to be treated honorably. What you truly deserved is to drown in a pool of your OWN blood. You want extreme? YOU WILL GET EXTREME, IMPACT! My dreams will materialize and nobody can tell me otherwise. I have worked my ass off relentlessly for years and I KNOW my hard work will pay off. I know my dreams will take shape and there is nothing you can do to stop the inevitable. Perhaps what I have done since my return hasn't been worthwhile, but what these people have done for me certainly has been. If it wasn't for them I would have never made it this far. Win or lose, I headlined more events probably than anybody this year. And I owe it all to them. I know you want my empire to crumble, I know you aspire to burn it into the ground but just like Mr. DEDEDE, Xavier Williams, Zack Crash and even your "quintessential successor" you will FAIL. There isn't a human being alive that can ensure my downfall. I can't be stopped. You can inflict as much damage upon me as you would like, as much damage as humanly possible and I would STILL endure, I would still prevail and I would NOT be STOPPED! I disagree.. I think defeating you or at least whipping your ass would be enough to ease the pain I have been enduring for five years. Maybe I will never be capable of calling myself the first ever Answers World Champion, maybe I will never be able to say a parade was thrown for my career-defining first World Championship win, maybe I will never be able to say I hold a victory over you, but you can bet your ass I will be able to say I kicked your ass. No matter what happens this Saturday at Road To Redemption I WILL kick your ass. I WILL show you what extreme is all about. That's what you wanted, right? Be careful what you wish for...
Ares Vendetta
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 17th 2015, 4:06 am by Ares Vendetta

As cliched as it may sound, Devan, you should be thanking me.

Back in my home of Japan, there are men in prisons that commit crimes to serious that they’ve been sentenced to the death penalty. Now, here in America, you know when it’s coming if you’re on death row. All you have to do is wait. In Japan? They don’t get that privilege. They’re put in their cells, and they wait. They wait, and they wait, and they wait for death to come. They KNOW it’s coming, but when? They’re never told. Any day could be their last. Every single day of rest of their miserable lives is spent wondering if today is gonna be the day that someone walks in and tells them the time has come. Can you imagine that? Can you possibly fathom the torture of never knowing when the trigger is gonna be pulled on your life? Can you possibly understand just how excruciating it would be to sit in a cell every day and never know if your time is finally up? Never having a right chance to say goodbye to someone you love or do something you wanted to do?

What you see me as right now is a threat. All I am to you is just another hungry challenger that wants your gold that you fought your heart out to take at the pinnacle of Pain For Pride. I understand that. I understand your basic instincts as a man, as a competitor, and as a Champion. Most of all, I understand that there’s absolutely nothing I can tell you that you would take to heart and heed and learn from. Everything I’ve told you, everything I’m telling you right now, and everything I will ever tell you will mean absolutely nothing to you so long as you’re the Champion and I’m the challenger.

What an unfortunate way of thinking, because that’s a lie. This was never about fighting to win that Answers World Championship off of you, you know that, right? That was never my intention. Oh yes, we all make intentions, but how often do we follow them up? I’ve made my share of mistakes going down that road, and I don’t intend to make anymore. My intention, Devan, above everything else, is right there on that clock you see counting down. My intention is, at any cost, to ensure you are dethroned by the time the counter reaches zero. This was never about challenging you, Devan. This was always about the Championship wrapped around your waist. I’m well aware that there’s four other people in the Elimination Chamber with us, but them? They’re just names. Just like you. All nothing but names to be added. All names that really mean nothing when it all comes down to it. You could be anyone, Devan. You’re standing in a spotlight that could be occupied by literally anyone else and it wouldn’t make a difference to me. Perhaps when the smoke has cleared, it’ll be Liam Catterson that holds the Answers World Championship. Maybe it’ll be Mr. DEDEDE. Maybe it’ll be Scott Oasis. Maybe it’ll be Ryan Savage. It won’t be you. And in that moment that the Answers World Champion doesn’t become mine? I simply go after the next person that stands in the spotlight, and I’ll do it again, and again, and again, until it becomes mine.

For, what, five or six months now? You’ve bathed in that spotlight and soaked it up for all its worth. Sure, maybe nobody remembers your battle with Liam Catterson, and some could say you were just picking the bones of a corpse when you defeated StarrStan, and some could even say that you proved nothing more as a Champion as you went through Scott Oasis and Hades and Nick Angel, but that’s all still things to look back upon in your time as Champion and cherish for what they were. You were here, Devan Dubian. Your name is etched into history as the man won the Grand Rampage… Well, one of the men that won the Grand Rampage… Journeyed to the main event of Pain For Pride, and became Devan Dubian: Answers World Champion. That’s something NOBODY can take away from you. NOBODY can take away every successful defense you’ve ever had. NOBODY. I’m sure with every victory and every moment you spent in the sun, you knew - deep down in the back of your mind - that all good things eventually come to an end, and your reign was never going to be the exception. That’s a common thing to think: that you’re special. That YOUR reign is going to be THE reign. That as long as you keep on raging against the dying of the light, it can never get to you. You fight men, Devan.

You can’t fight fate.

I may be flesh and blood - a man just like you and everyone else around us in that Elimination Chamber, but I have something that makes me so confident, and it’s something you don’t have. You think I consider myself an Harbinger because it sounds nice? You think I come here and stand in front of you, stating these bold claims just because I want to make myself sound tall? Do you think I speak just to hear my own voice? There’s no doubt about it, Devan, you are one of the best to step into a ring. You are a Champion and you’ve been a FIGHTING Champion. I know you would do anything in a match to capture the win. I know that. What you don’t seem to know or comprehend is what I’M willing to do, because rest assured, it goes beyond the boundaries that you abide by. See, the thing about being who you are as Devan Dubian: Answers World Champion, that means you have to be a certain something and act a certain way and fight a certain way, but me? I’ve got a goal just as you do, but I have much, much less restrictions in how I go about it. I don’t have to worry about coloring inside the lines like you do, Devan. I color wherever I want to and draw my own picture. I don’t follow the path set before me in a maze - I break through the walls to get out. I can see the hate and the instinct to do whatever it takes to keep that Championship raging inside you like a storm, but you don’t even realize as you charge at me that you’re bound by chains that will stop you dead in your tracks. Me? I can go wherever I please. I can do whatever I want to get what I want and there’s nothing to stop me.

Don’t believe me? Why don’t you ask Hades then? If he’s physically capable of speaking. With ease, I took a goliath of a man - one who legitimately threatened your reign - and broke him. You were watching, weren’t you? I could feel your eyes on me. I could feel many people’s eyes on me that night, and that’s exactly why I needed to send a little message your way and the way of everyone else that’s gone and… Thought worse of me after the misfortunate I’ve gone through lately. Now, Devan, I took a nearly seven foot, sadistic giant of a man and sent him to the hospital with his career gone with the wind. Hades never did anything to me. Hades never had anything I wanted. Hades never gave me a reason to do something like that. I did it because it HAD TO BE DONE. Now imagine… Just imagine what I would do to someone that actually HAS something I want.

Someone like you.

If you were smart, you’d understand what I mean and accept the inevitable. You’d know what that clock means and what it counts down to. You’d thank me for giving you an exact date to know when the other shoe drops and you’re put on the mercy seat to pay the toll that every Champion pays sooner or later. It’s unfortunate that you’re not that smart. You’re not that special. You’re just another name behind the Answers World Championship; just another meaningless name in my way. These aren’t threats, Devan. They’re prophecies. Everything I say to you is a reality I will make happen.

I give you my word on that.

Drake Jaeger
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 17th 2015, 3:22 am by Drake Jaeger
EAW Promoz! (Section closed) - Page 39 PqcH3h6GdXz5z1z3fZut0FkTUA_i76VK9RWnN0hJPMaP49SMbrS1zh8UTLxNa09eaoSIbc594X6phaUL_KFCjpLk9TDkkSe2w2_DXXJ00eTcg7VFno-i3W3p2I7pHklfglzuZjTo


六 Drake Jaeger - dressed in his usual black boots, black kneepads, black trunks, black gloves, black trenchcoat, black sunglasses, a streak of black in his hair, and a black toothpick hanging from his lips - is shown standing in front of a large Hexa-gun banner in an unknown location and next to a slightly nervous-looking Rob Colton, who holds a microphone in his hand. 六

Rob: Thank you for joining us here tonight. As Hexa-gun’s new personal Interviewer, I--

六 Drake puts a finger up to stop Rob. 六

Drake: Remember, Rob, INTERN Interviewer. As in, not being paid.

六 Rob slightly frowns and nods. 六

Drake: But I’m sure you’ll be actually hired and making whatever the pay for minimum wage is in no time.

Rob: I won’t let you down. Ahem, alright - on  with the interview. Drake, as you know, you and Tiberius Jones are facing your greatest challenge yet as a tag team--

六 Drake puts a finger up to stop Rob again. 六

Drake: I can see you’ve still got quite a ways to go, Rob, because if you were any good at your job, you would have delved into our background and saw that this is FAR from our “greatest challenge as a tag team”.

Rob: Oh? What would you say your greatest challenge thus far is then?

Drake: Take your pick: Our debut along with Impact against Rhaegar and Kevin Devastation, Territorial Invasion against the supposed “Anti-gun”, Shock Value against a group of people that were willing to sacrifice themselves for a chance to be in the spotlight of a Pay-Per-View, Angelo Brando and that other guy, Jack Black and Jacob Shawn, The Greek Iconomy--

Rob: You’d consider all of those a greater challenge than this one? I mean, Aria Jaxon and Brett Kennedy fought through this Tag Team Grand Prix Tournament as well to get to the Finals. They defeated the likes of Sexy Curry, The Higher Power, and even The Notorious Samurais.

Drake: Ah, another big mistake, Rob: assuming I know who the fuck any of those people are. Since when am I supposed to take note of anyone this company has to offer? Since when are Tiberius Jones and myself fighting through anyone here? You know why Hexa-gun is as successful as it is? Because we’re talented enough to take whatever we want, whenever we want. Who are Aria Jaxon and Brett Kennedy to me, other than two more names that I’ll be listing as a better challenge than whatever else EAW or even Dynasty Wrestling has to offer?

Rob: Well--

六 Drake smacks the back of Rob’s head. 六

Drake: Another mistake, Rob: that was a rhetorical question. You know why? Because there’s not gonna fuckin BE an Elite Answers Wrestling after Road To Redemption! There’s not gonna BE a Dynasty Wrestling after Road To Redemption! That’s it! It’s done! Game over! Thanks for coming! You know, they all did their best, and that’s all that matters right? Well, you know, besides winning, of course. What this is isn’t a wrestling match, Rob. You know what this is? It’s charity. We’re giving Aria Jaxon and Brett Kennedy the chance of a lifetime to shine one more time underneath that beautiful spotlight before Hexa-gun takes over and Brett’s shooting up underneath a bridge in the “Bridge City” while Aria’s selling her body to whoever’s in to chicks that win Tournaments nobody gives a shit about because they couldn’t follow it up with a Championship victory. If TJ and I wanted to, we could forfeit this match, wait for Y2Impact and The Heart Break Gal to win their match and then hand ourselves the win to this whole Grand Prix, but you know what? We’re above such LOWLY tactics. We’re classy guys, you know? We enjoy the thrill of the chase. We enjoy hurting the people that convince themselves they’ve got a chance. Now I’m not gonna say it’s a sexual thing, but I’d be lying if I told you I don’t get off on shattering the dreams of everyone that crosses my path, Rob. I’m sure they’ll do their little underdog thing and put up a decent struggle, but just like putting pressing a pillow down on the face of a child, it’s gonna be futile and it’s gonna be quick. In the end, what are Aria and Brett, huh? Tiberius Jones and myself are two of the greatest prospects in professional wrestling. We’re the FUTURE of wrestling, and Impact and the Heart Break Gal knew that. They took us in and they showed us why EAW must be brought back to its roots. In a World where everyone convinced themselves the war between Extreme and Elite was over, WE rose up and told them fuck no it’s not! It’s not over until WE say it’s over! THAT’S what Tiberius and myself bring with us to every fucking match, every fucking night. What brings Aria and Brett together, eh? Well, like every other chick that’s come into the new Elite EAW, she took one look at the male roster and decided she was better off dating women, but with all the good ones taken, she clearly settled for a guy with a dick small enough for him to be considered a woman. THAT’S what brought them together.

Rob: Language, Drake.

六 Drake becomes suddenly silent and slowly turns his head towards Rob with a scowl on his face. 六

Rob: I… I mean… Language, Mr. Jaeger…

六 Drake slowly steps towards a now much more nervous Rob Colton. 六


Rob: I mean… Jaeger-Sama?

六 Drake remains quiet and glaring as he slowly takes off his sunglasses and stares at Rob. 六

Drake: What did you just say to me?

Rob: L-Language?.... It… It’s a PG--

Drake: NO!

六 A startled Rob puts his head down as if he’s prepared to be attacked, but he’s quickly pulled back and his head brought back up to a still staring Drake Jaeger. 六

Drake: Would you walk up to a Native American and insult them about what they’ve gone through, Rob?

六 Rob’s eyes dart side to side in confusion as he hesitantly answers. 六

Rob: W-What?

Drake: Because that’s exactly what you did just now, Rob. You just insulted me. You just insulted my people. You just spat on Hexa-gun and everything we stand for and everything we’ve been through to get here. I wasn’t born in the United States, Rob, but I’m well aware of its history. You know its history, right? Like, how this entire nation was discovered by explorers like famous Christopher Columbus, yeah? You know what Christopher Columbus was?

六 Rob slowly shakes his head as Drake leans in. 六


Drake: Christopher Columbus was just some prick that showed up to land that didn’t belong to him, and took it from those who inhabited it. Christopher Columbus aided in the beginning of one of the most sickening genocidal projects to have ever stained this nation, and it’s everything that this very nation was built upon. It wasn’t long before Native Americans were looked at like anyone else with skin that wasn’t white and killed off, enslaved, or moved until the only land that belonged to them was a mere fraction of a thriving land that they believed belonged to everyone. Now, I look around here, and I see a company that has been raped of its roots of Extreme, fucked into being “Elite”, had anyone that remained to bear the flag of Extreme condemned or tortured until complacent, and all of it led - sure enough - by some prick that showed up out of the blue and decided to take it for himself. Some would say it’s in bad taste to compare any of this to the plight of the Native Americans, but since when have I ever worried about what taste I leave in the mouths of the people that feed into this farce of a company? Since when have I EVER given even the slightest FUCK about what the people in the back that were all too spineless to do anything about this - what do I care if I leave a bad taste in their mouths? WE show up looking to take this company back to where it belongs and where it was born and where it grew into a household name and where it THRIVED most, and we’re looked at as some kind of invading force? No, no, no - we’re no invading force. You’ve met the invading force. Us? We’re the white blood cells fighting BACK against a disease! WE’RE the Natives that want to keep their country the way it was before these people showed up to shape it into their own vision!

People like Aria Jaxon and Brett Kennedy are just tiny little insignificant fucking cogs in a machine that’s taken over everything and serves no purpose than to grind out hollowed toys that dance around for the amusement of Zack Crash and all of his Yes Men! For the amusement of HRDO and Jon Conning and all of THEIR Yes Men! They’re nothing more than rapists of a World that doesn’t belong to them and never should have become this whored out product that it is now and they look at Drake Jaeger and Tiberius Jones and Y2Impact and Luzmala and the Heart Break Gal and Eris LeCava and they see is violently destroy people and wield our weapons with pride and WIN and they consider us savages that want nothing but anarchy as if WE’RE the pretenders, but THEY ARE! THEY’RE the ones that turned this company into a shell of what it once was and THEY’RE the ones that convinced the World that Extreme doesn’t matter anymore while every piece of trash in the back grew to be just fucking fine with that! Well it’s NOT fucking fine! It’ll NEVER be fucking fine! This entire country was founded upon blood and war, so what are we then? WE’RE the strange, evil force? No - we’re the personification of EVERYTHING you people pretend you aren’t! We’re humanity incarnate! We’re animalistic, we’re narcissistic, we’re anarchistic, and we’re going fucking ballistic every single day we have to sit back and pretend to play nice with pieces of shit like every single soul that inhabits this company and Dynasty Wrestling alike!

六 Drake Jaeger frantically pushes his hair back as he continues to stare at Rob Colton. 六


Drake: I’m so… So tired. So fucking tired of having to inform people like you, and everyone else around WHY Hexa-gun is here. Clearly you people don’t know and don’t understand and don’t WANT to understand, and maybe you don’t have to. Come Road To Redemption, TJ and myself aren’t just going to beat the shit out of two more people that convinced themselves they stand a shot at us. Road To Redemption - it’s an appropriate name and an appropriate place. Hexa-gun IS redemption. And what better place to drive our flag into the heart of this company than at the same event that it all began with so many years ago? Unlike the Native Americans, we’re coming back with weapons and a bloodlust like nothing you’ve ever fucking seen before. You think I’m worried about Aria Jaxon and Brett Kennedy? Some guy we’ve knocked into the dirt before and his whore? Oh, but this is a DIFFERENT story now, right? Things have CHANGED now, right? Now he’s got his little girlfriend at his side and now it’s just TJ and I and now we have to play by the supposed “rules”.

六 Drake chuckles and puts his sunglasses back on. 六

Drake: …. The only thing different this time around, is that we’re not coming to this show to win. We’re not here to send a message anymore. We’re not here to show our superiority to these people, and we’re to make the Hexa-gun name known with another big victory. What’s different about THIS time, is that we’re officially done fucking around.

六 Drake looks into the camera. 六

Drake: Aria. Brett. I’m glad you guys are together. I really am. I’m glad you find such comfort in each other. I hope you live a happy life, but it won’t be a life on the road together as professional wrestlers. That’s over. At Road To Redemption, we’re not coming to win any Grand Prix. We’re coming to end your fucking careers. Go ahead and laugh it off. I’m a funny guy, I know. Just don’t judge TJ and I too much if we’re the ones laughing as we watch them close the doors to your ambulance. The Natives are taking their land back, guys and gals. There’s a song I heard before… How’s it go? Oh yeah, it goes “What Makes The Red Man Red?”.... I know the answer to that.

六 Drake leans in to a still-frightened Rob Colton with a grin on his face. 六

Drake: Hate. Pure, unadulterated hate.

六 Drake pushes Rob out of his way and takes his leave as Rob looks on before the camera fades to black. 六

EAW Promoz! (Section closed) - Page 39 PqcH3h6GdXz5z1z3fZut0FkTUA_i76VK9RWnN0hJPMaP49SMbrS1zh8UTLxNa09eaoSIbc594X6phaUL_KFCjpLk9TDkkSe2w2_DXXJ00eTcg7VFno-i3W3p2I7pHklfglzuZjTo
Mr. DEDEDE
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 17th 2015, 2:17 am by Mr. DEDEDE
This is what happens. You have one good year. One. One good year. Just one, and you think you're the king. A sixteen, maybe seventeen month run and suddenly you've worked up the nerve to sit there on your throne and call me out, say I'm 'exaggerated'... one year, you go one year without completely screwing up everything you've got going for you and now you're suddenly bestowed the right to spell out my story! You think you can just sit there and decide for me whether I have the hunger and the passion to take the title from you? Hah, and where's your merit?? Three or four years of going absolutely nowhere?? Look I get it, okay? I've been stuck in ruts before, granted they've never been nearly as bad as the rut you were in for so long, but I understand how it feels to feel like you're going absolutely nowhere -- it's something that will honest to God eat you alive! But don't ever try to relegate my drive to some little triviality, as if I were brought up in a palace and fed with that same silver spoon that you were. You don't know me. I didn't grow up in castles, I wasn't raised as royalty, I didn't look down at the poor; I was nothing. I could have been nobody -- would have been nobody to this day if it weren't for this sport. I had just enough of a foundation to get off the ground and from the ground I've built a kingdom, brick by brick, and these castle walls stand a mile high -- but the difference is I built it all by hand. I wasn't pampered like you, I'm not pampered like most of your colleagues who call themselves "Elitists" but represent the furthest thing from Elite. And unlike you I wasn't told to look down on people and pat the poor on the heads and drop a gold doubloon in their bucket like a certain pompous, self impressed holier than thou British prick. I had to scratch and claw past everybody else because I started on a level playing field, and people like you seem to forget that. People like you tend to think I just came out of the womb a five time World Champion with the ability to fight in Match of the Year, year after year. This might come as a shock but that isn't the case; believe it or not, I was nothing. Believe it or not, I was a nobody just like anybody else. There was a time where I slept on cots, ate from easy macs, lived off of fucking noodles and got my ass kicked on a nightly basis in the gym, in the ring, on the mat, you name it. But there's a reason why the masses see me as a constant figure of success -- BECAUSE THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM. To become successful I had to want success more than I wanted air in my lungs, and that's why I'm successful! 

The thing about drive like mine is that it doesn't leave you, Dubian. It is a constant, it's a frame of mind, it should be diagnosed as a clinical form of insanity. What I have is a constant desire for success to the point you are willing to risk life and limb for it; THAT'S the kind of drive I have and nobody has a drive like me! Nobody ever will. The proof is in plain sight; as you said, you'd trade in four years of your career for a moderately successful year of my career, and that is exactly why we will never be the same. That is why you and I will never be friends or associates, we could never relate on most topics, we will never be put in the same tax bracket, you will never be in my league; because even though you like to pretend you're a part of the ''ruling class'', you in actuality are just like the people who cheer for you every week, you settle for less. Yes, even the "blue prince" who's had all the worlds riches at his fingertips all his entire life doesn't have the same lust for glory as Mr. DEDEDE. Mentally you are no king, you are a commoner. As condescending as that may come off, quite frankly Dub, you should be happy about that. That isn't to say that you're a complete piece of shit, after all you ARE the Answers World Champion. All it means is that there are levels of pain and suffering that you won't experience in your life. I'm genuinely glad you won't experience it, Dub. I'm glad there are deep, dark moments of my life that you'll never be able to relate to; because quite frankly there aren't too many people with enough character to withstand what I've withstood, and you fall under that category. I've watched you enough to know how you operate, and while I'll go as far as to say you're an excellent Elitist, you won't push yourself to an absurd level that I have simply to win; you won't go the lengths I've gone to to get the job done. Honestly Dub, be glad that is the case. You never know, maybe you'll be a happier person than me for it in the long run. I know I'm going to atone for all of the pain and suffering I've caused one day, and I know I'll have to pay back everything I've been afforded. Be glad you won't have to pay that costly price, even if it means innately settling for less. 

Oh don't get me wrong, you've done some extraordinary things with your career already, Devan. You should be proud of yourself, especially for these past sixteen months. Ever since you returned to EAW at Midsummer Massacre last year you've truly outdone yourself, and if it all ended this weekend I'm sure with the way most people treat you they'd ignore the first four years and focus on the fifth year. The thing is, Devan, it is coming to an end. Maybe not your overall run of exceptional performance, but your reign on top in general is over. You know that deep in your heart -- as a matter of fact I'm sure you knew that from the time I was announced that I would be entering this match. You knew your reign was in jeopardy, you saw the clock ticking, you saw the hour hand creep closer to midnight with each passing day... and we're only three minutes to midnight on the ticking time bomb. As horrifying as that may sound I think you should be excited about that. What defines a man is not how he conducts himself at his highs, but rather how he handles his low's and if he's able to get back up after he's knocked down. Why do we fall? To rise again. It's not always a bad thing when we're down, and I mean this in the least malicious way I can, but I genuinely want to see how you handle being knocked on your ass. It's one thing to repeatedly fail when you've accomplished nothing, but it's another when you've had everything and you lose it all. When the little guy falls, nobody cares. When the giant falls, the world watches. Story of my life! And I say all that because that's exactly what's coming for you at Road to Redemption. You'll get a taste of that hard fall. You're not going to like what happens this weekend, but look on the bright side, it was inevitable right? It was always going to happen, you knew you couldn't hold the Answers World Championship forever. Your reign on top was on borrowed time, and time is almost up. The crown jewel was never truly yours to begin with, you were never meant to inherit the spoils of the Land of Elite because you're not the king, Dubian. I'm the king. No matter how badly I've been dragged through the mud, no matter how much dirt the pundits have attempted to shovel onto my name, make no mistake about it Devan Dubian, you may have gotten to spend a little bit of time on the throne, BUT I AM THE KING. So I hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, because I've worked too hard, I've sacrificed too much to let any one man stop me, especially not you! You see despite our many differences I don't have much of a problem with you Dubian. Maybe it'd be more fun, maybe I'd be able to get more riled up and start really bouncing off of the walls verbally and completely try to blast you but the fact is I've got no reason to do any of that! We're going to follow your lead, Champ. We're going to go in there this Saturday night and take this as far as you want to go. I'm warning you though, I've got all night. I can go all night, into the morning, through the day and into the next night again. I've got enough fight in me to last the whole winter, I'm ready to go into the next year with you. Get the hint? I highly doubt you or anyone else in this Elimination Chamber have what it takes to push me any farther than I'm willing to go, because I have nothing else worth fighting for! I have nothing left to defend besides my honor, and I'm putting that on the line in this match as well. World Championships, accolades and critical acclaim aside; you're the one with everything to lose this time around Dubian, and I'm the one with everything to gain. But you know the adage:



He who laughs last, laughs best.


Last edited by Mr. DEDEDE on December 17th 2015, 11:27 am; edited 1 time in total
Brian Daniels
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 17th 2015, 1:15 am by Brian Daniels
I don't know whether it's the way I came off, or if it's the stereotypical "you underestimate me" response, but you've completely taken my comment the wrong way, Kelly. I've been in your boots, I know how it feels to be "underestimated", wouldn't you take the time to think that every elitist has been in that position at one point or time? You should absolutely not take my judgement of you losing within one week into your championship reign as a statement of "underestimating", Tig. I only meant to make a rather harsh example, one that needed to be made. Isn't that your sole purpose by competing in this match? To make examples out of the contestants that includes me? You pretend that you're not walking into this chamber with the confidence of a lion, when it's eyes lock onto it's prey. It's not rare that every given man or woman, has the right to predetermine their fate. I don't mean to strip away one's confidence, if anything - I'd feel disappointed in those who competed with a lack of faith in themselves. I envy your boldness, it's honestly something I may have lacked early on in my career. It really is, but don't mistake your boldness for stupidity; as you and many others have this rash thought process. I can understand where each and every one of you believe I'm coming from, but that is not the case. You're right about one thing, however - I do want to make a statement, I do have the intentions to walk inside that chamber as the number one entry... not out of a reckless decision. But out of what you have, what the four other men have; confidence. I'm speaking highly of that one word, because I entrust myself, and my mindset to get me through this match. In one piece? I knew from the get-go, I'd be walking into Road to Redemption ONE HUNDRED PERCENT. Are you that naive? I'm fully aware of the dangers that lurk ahead, I'm fully aware that even the smallest of ants, can be dangerous red ones at that. But to confuse my courage with absurdity? You've crossed the line - I was under contract with Elite Answers Wrestling... WHEN IT WAS EXTREME. I have competed in the Elimination Chamber - WHEN IT WAS EXTREME. So, where do you get off by telling me how violent, how sadistic, how harsh this environment will be on me and anyone else? You can call me stupid, you can call me a hero, you can say whatever you want... but you best watch your boundaries when it comes to my intelligence in what sort of condition I compete in. I mean no disrespect, because it all honesty; I respect you. You've given a rebirth to the championship you now carry around with you, you beat a streak that almost seemed unbeatable. But respect is tossed away, it's trashed in this case. With every fist, with every kick, with every maneuver I perform - you'll be expecting the most vicious side of me. I've survived the worst of the worst, glass, electricity, this steel? It's no different to me. You can play the victim of underestimation all you want, it matters not. I'll treat you indifferently to any other promising elitist, I hope you come to cope with that. 

In fact, there's always been that side of me... that "good guy side" that's always wanted to treat every wrestler equally. I find this very difficult to do, when I'm approached by a man who speaks of "Zeus", "Hades", "Poseidon", it's laughable. I'm supposed to take this thing seriously? Oh please, PLEASE, SAVE ME THE POETRY - SAVE ME THE ANCIENT STORIES. I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THESE GUYS WHO DON'T TREAT ELITE ANSWERS WRESTLING... AS A WRESTLING COMPANY. IT'S GUYS LIKE YOU THAT DISGRACE THE ART OF WRESTLING. IT'S GUYS LIKE YOU THAT BRING SHAME TO THIS COMPANY. THIS IS NOT A STAGE PLAY, THIS IS NOT A MOVIE. THIS. IS. WRESTLING. AND IF YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND THAT... WHAT ARE YOU EXACTLY HERE FOR, RHAEGAR? If you're not here for the accolades, the accomplishments, the great feeling of achieving your aspirations. What's your reason for being another waste of space on inside of this company? I don't know how many times I'm going to have to come across boys like you - who aren't here for the "gold", how do you ever expect to come out on top with that sort of attitude? You're only tracing the steps your brother once walked, and we've both seen how well his career outcome became. It was full of close calls, but no cigars. It became a joke, it's what your current status is coming - A JOKE. I guess it's family bloodlines, isn't it? I know you want nothing to do with him, but it's only relevant in comparison to see the lesser has replaced the greater. I can see that you and your brother are polar opposites, but at least your brother had the brains to compete as a wrestler. He always fixated on bringing himself to that next step, taking what once was a pitiful career and making something decent out of it. You? What have you done so amazing that makes you the better cause? What makes you better than everyone else? I lack to find a decent quality that you wield, it's irritating to even attempt to go through the process of pondering. You've offered even less than what Ventura has had to offer - and that's believe it or not; saying something. And when I said before, I try to respect every person to the fullest... you're that certain person that I can't seem to respect at all. It's now known why, I'm not ashamed to say it. I couldn't careless if you felt the same way toward me, it means nothing to me. If you really posed a threat in this match, and believe me - coming for a guy that doesn't care about the stakes acts as no danger to me. I would find it in me, to bring myself to respect you in some fashion. But as of now, I don't even want you to attempt to earn it, you don't need to. I'll just be satisfied that after this, I'll hopefully... HOPEFULLY never see your smug face again. You proved to be a valid example of failure, one example that everyone will soon learn to wear as armor. It's your failures that make you, or simply break you.
Impact
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 17th 2015, 12:25 am by Impact
A loss is always going to unearth critics from that rock they hide under to ignore all of the success that's transpired in the time between now and my last defeat, but it doesn't always force you to adjust or change your approach -- you have to consider the circumstances. I lost count of all the interferences in our match on Dynasty, and certainly I was the beneficiary of some of them, but nothing is black and white in a world filled with grey and it'd be absolutely ridiculous for anyone to assert the interferences on The Mercenaries' behalf "evened the odds." Of course, with a winner-takes-all spectacle scheduled at Road to Redemption, Dynasty is nothing but water under the bridge. The Heart Break Gal and I have more pressing matters to attend to, and both of us are fully aware of the repercussions of this match, both of us are cognizant of the fact we hold the future of EAW in our hands and we absolutely refuse to tarnish this company any further and sully its legacy by allowing any of these vermin to walk out as the victor and essentially handing them the keys to the city. These guys, the Lucian Black's and Jacob Senn's, and of course the Crash's of the world, they're self-interested individuals who are motivated by personal ambitions and fever dreams of riches and luxury, they see this match as an opportunity to cement themselves as a fixture in the mainstream of this business for years to come, and they salivate and foam at the mouths imagining what it's going to do for their career, how it can advance them... While I have the best interests of EAW radiating in my mind, I have no fame, riches, or luxury to gain from the power I'd obtain by winning this match, and I proceed with a completely clear conscience. That's something the other competitors and the "elitists" and "dynasts" can't stake claim to, that they're unable to disprove because all of their actions have echoed my sentiments and to deny them now after everything they've done would be intellectually dishonest, but everything I've done is consistent with the long-term goal both my partner and I have yearned for since returning; reinstalling the hardcore platform that made this company hundreds of millions of dollars and allowed it to see itself become a monopoly and take control of the wrestling business. Let's be completely honest with ourselves here -- ever since the current Crash regime began, EAW has been attracting a different type of wrestler, "elitists" they refer to them as, and ordinarily I'd point to this as a strength and credit him as a Chairman for broadening his horizons and emphasizing diversity, but these newcomers aren't cut from the same cloth as guys like Mr. DEDEDE, guys like Jaywalker, guys like myself, and why exactly is that? Because they're one-trick ponies, excellent technical wrestlers who never had to withstand the brutality and the horror so commonplace and standard in extreme wrestling matches, weak-willed entitled brats that believe "extreme wrestling" is beneath them when it's just an excuse to justify their incompetence versus an opponent that has no qualms about bashing a steel chair over your head; a platitude of the inexperienced. These mental midgets are going to misconstrue my statements and mistake my intentions, and I can already envision it like a premonition or a vivid fever dream -- hordes of never-was, never-will-be nobodies claiming I'm a hypocrite because I advocate a style that has been unceremoniously dismissed by people who lack the honor and virtue to understand that "elite" is the devil's spawn of all the hardship and suffering the extreme regime and its champions endured, but the reality of what I'm promoting is dramatically different than what everyone ignorantly assumes. I'm not one-dimensional, it's not as I have no concept of other styles of wrestling, I know damn well a Picasso painting has just as much merit as a Bob Ross painting, and anybody with an inkling of knowledge about my body of work knows I'm a master of all trades; but the foundation of this institution, the back on which it stood, the root of this tree that couldn't be chopped down... was extreme!  And as far as I'm concerned, a temporary lapse in judgment that results in Crash being Chairman and being driven mad by power doesn't erase that fact; but I know in my heart what the 'E' represents, and at Road to Redemption I'm going to make certain, come hell or high water, that every single audience member in attendance and every single wrestler in the back... REMEMBERS.

As far as Lucian Black is concerned, it's obvious he's more hung up about the idea of Road to Redemption being a grudge match and has become trapped by this foolish delusion he's created in his mind that somehow, some way, by defeating me inside of a chamber in a match with the unpredictable variable of many participants looming large, he can rectify the mistakes of his past and retroactively become the first Answers World Champion that, years ago, I ensured he couldn't be. This daydreaming simpleton has his head in the clouds, still harping over what he knows full well can never materialize, and if that wasn't pathetic enough, he's convinced himself that he's better off having lost at Reasonable Doubt in a match to determine the inaugural Answers World Champion five years ago, he has tricked himself into believing that everything he's done since returning has been worthwhile... And that sturdy, solid foundation he's built, that steady climb up the proverbial mountain of success that he's scratched and clawed to stand and sit atop, will crumble and tumble as I step on his dirty little fingers yet again and force him into another five-year drought with most of it spent contemplating the very meaning of his sad existence and griping about what's already occurred that can't change as opposed to carving a future and a present he can be proud of. Will defeating me at Road to Redemption bring Lucian catharsis? Will it ease his pain and free him from torment? No, that dark cloud that's hovered over his shadow for the better part of the last five years will continue to persist until he's consumed by the idea of a perfect revenge he can never realize. Lucian will never be capable of addressing himself as the first Answers World Champion, he'll never be able to say a parade was thrown for his career-defining first World Championship win, and regardless of a Grand Rampage showing from over a half-decade ago that he's evidently still clinging to, he will NEVER be able to say he holds a victory over me. That reality gnaws at his flesh like an untreated disease, and regardless of what he claims, regardless of what he's cajoled all these unsuspecting fans into believing, Lucian Black hasn't ascended, he hasn't thrived or rose from the ashes, and he damn sure isn't a success story who caught a glimmer of hope from failure and used the pain of defeat to motivate himself into becoming greater. It amuses me, he speaks of his past failures like an implacable man filled with regret who would happily sell his soul to the devil in exchange for riches and notoriety, but there arises that internal conflict when you see him talking about how he's recovered from a seemingly irreparable loss, and it's plainly apparent he hasn't survived this crucible; he's been content merely to skim along in hopes opportunity will one day smile upon his ugly mug again, but dwelling in the depths of his mind is a thought that permeates through his body to its core -- an understanding that his loss to me and his inability to capture that elusive World Championship in the coming years after it will ALWAYS rent a far more massive space in his head than he's leading on. I'd take a bullet for EAW, there are no lengths I wouldn't stoop to in order to restore its roots in my image; and if that means uncovering this tough exterior and tearing off that gritty, stoic Lucian Black mask to expose the tormented soul known as George Copeland lurking underneath, I'll own the occasion and you'll spend the next five years exactly as you've spent the last five years -- ruing the moment.
The Mexican Samurai
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 16th 2015, 10:54 pm by The Mexican Samurai
Road To Redemption Part 2


[ltr]Do you think that this is some kind of joke to me, Dark Demon? I sat and waited patiently for you to address me but it seems that you don't think anything I have to say is really that important, and to think that I would give you at least a little bit of respect to put up a fight. If you think that just because I'm the underdog means that I'm going to roll over for you like the other bitches that you fought, then you thought wrong. I'm going to keep calling you out every single day until I hear that little, Gaelic mouth of yours begging for me to stop punching you in the head. Thirteen seconds? Really, thirteen seconds? No, I'd rather make this beat down a long, drawn-out, thirteen hours, so that way  I can hear you suffer and gargle on the blood that is pouring out your nose and directly into your esophagus. You don't think that I can do it, Dark Demon? Every single day that goes by, I hear more rustling and conversation from the other wrestlers in the back; an inkling of hope and morbid curiosity in the fact that I might have a chance in dethroning the monster that has scared the shit out of the rest of the locker room. A vote here or a vote there and suddenly Mr. Bernie Sanders himself, creates a race out of a competition where everyone but Dark Demon was counted out. You carved a little niche over these last few months and I don't blame you because you have already done everything inside of EAW, and I'm pretty sure that your morale was quite low. You won the Hall of Fame championship and adorned it with the rest of the title belts hanging in the living room but what else was there really left to do but sit and stroke off with your agent, Bryce Dean?

I understand that Bryce Dean was looking out for your best interest but I finally understand why he told you not to wrestle me and it's because he saw the same thing that I did. Even though you hold all these accolades and accomplishments, you've been doing nothing but coasting these last couple months and it isn't because you have a "don't care" attitude, nor is it because you are better than your opposition. You have been coasting because you are afraid to actually challenge yourself and finding an opponent that was worthy of actually giving you a fight. Ironically enough, you were an "Aldo" as they would say in my language and I wouldn't be surprised if you decide to pull out of this fight or find some other type of excuse to not fight me. Bryce could see that you would awaken a sleeping beast the exact moment you changed my attitude from a man who simply didn't care into someone who had to find his passion once again. The way you nonchalantly performed in our tag team was just an indicator in the attitude that you've displayed over the last couple of months and with just a little bit of effort on your part we could of won those tag team titles but NOOOOO!! You made me carry The Notorious Samurais on my back until I struggled and fell down and when I reached out my hand for your support, you were nowhere to be found. Bryce saw it... I saw it... and I'm going to capitalize on this lackadaisical approach you've been taking recently because Thomas Minns should of beat you...The High Rollerz should of beat us....Stand and Deliver should of beat us....and it's time for you to finally suffer a defeat in the middle of that ring that the fans have been clamoring for months to happen and I'm the man that is going to do the impossible.

I'm going to defeat Dark Demon.

So, are you going to stand up and fight back or are you going to allow me to run this shit into the ground? I'm going to keep talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking....until you find your way out of the wormhole and say the stupid shit that you say all the time about hearing the same arguments over and over again. As you struggle to find the vernacular fortitude to come up with a sentence that actually makes sense, I'm going to be thinking of most mischievous ways to make you suffer. Go on, bring your railroad spike because I have a nice Katana that I'm currently sharpening in the old basement and I would absolutely love to for you to meet her. She's a little shy around ugly men but once you get a good taste of her steel, I'm sure that you'll be covered in red.

Let me tell you a spoiler of how this fight is going to end, because it isn't get to end in 13 seconds, no. Kylo Ren is.... oh, wrong spoiler... I mean, The Mexican Samurai is going to make your life a living hell, Dark Demon and I'm finally going to get that elusive victory that I've been seeking ever since the beginning of my career by knocking you the fuck out. This is going to be the second worst famine in Ireland after I eliminate you off this fucking planet.
[/ltr]
Devan Dubian
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 16th 2015, 9:42 pm by Devan Dubian
You know I was brought up to be sympathetic towards others. When you are bred under royalty from the first moment you walk, it becomes natural for you to act sympathetic because you know that almost everyone else in the lot is inferior to you. It is the kind of mentality that I grew up with and now that I look back at my childhood, I wonder to myself if that kind of political correctness that I was forced into as a kid ultimately defined the kind of paradoxical character I turned out to be today because no matter how I look at things nowadays, I can never truly feel empathy for another human being. If you feel that you have been slighted throughout the majority  of your career then you need to wake up and smell reality as it breezes you by, Mr. DEDEDE. However, I do not happen to be as sympathetic as the majority of this sorry lot might be. Everyone has different perspectives at different things and the way I look at this is that you are one of the if not the most exaggerated elitist to ever step in that ring with countless amount of achievements, a man who has claimed that many of the elitists in this company are only barely good enough to hold his jockstrap so excuse me if I could really not care less whilst you sit there shining your many world title reigns. What you are currently going through is just a withdrawal of prosperity, a man who fed with the golden spoon one too many times did not get his due success in this year but that is it. This is what a drought year looks like you but do not stand there and claim to be a lost cause as if you have experienced years of constant tumbling with no sight of paradise. I already did that once and if any of those four years were even close to as good a 'moderate' year you have had this year, I would trade them in an instant. I know the true meaning of misery as a man who experienced for many lot of years, you have only even scratched the surface.

And then on top of that, you actually have enough nerve to even consider winning the world title off of me? I realize that Ryan Savage was on your back in a weekender bag as you so eagerly tried to climb the mountain to relevancy but let me fill you in on what has occurred since you went on your little trip. I not only won the Grand Rampage, put the finishing touch at Pain for Pride in my hometown by winning the Answers World Champion, I have successfully defended in utterly magisterial fashion in the last five months. I am on the road to become the longest reigning Answers World Champion and I'll let blood be leeched dry from my body before I let the lot of you even a moment at this championship. That much has happened since you went on your little sabbatical so you are excused if you still thought that I was the fixated image of a debacle who could not get it done in a world title match anymore, that man is no more. The year I have led cannot be rivaled by one single elitist in this company and that is a fact, you yourself must know how it feels to have be in this position - I am sure you have been here before. I feel invincible and not in the sense of arrogant, that is mindless thinking but rather in a way in which I find it almost impractical to imagine a scenario in which I am pinned and ultimately do not have my Answers World Champion. I am redefining the meaning of being a world champion for every day my reign continues and it would almost be like forsaking that if I were to lose this weekend. You on the other hand Mr. DEDEDE have no story, have no reason - the best you have is that you feel you deserve this championship. It is not like you can walk in unannounced in a chamber anymore and pin everyone to walk out world champion, those days does not exist anymore and sadly, neither does the character that was able to pull it off whether you are willing to admit that or not. You may have nothing to say to these people, you can even go on as far as a rampage to eliminate them all but the one hindrance you will never get rid off, something that will rile you up in years to come is me. You could never overcome the legend of Devan Dubian and that infuriates you, that will continue to aggravate you until you give up. It will have been the one thing you could constantly never beat and dare I say, that is the truth.
The Elite-Lord
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 16th 2015, 8:41 pm by The Elite-Lord
This... mutt. This... underachieving, ravaging, leeching Matt Miles, must have his treason writ in blood. His own blood. This servant of Lannister's war wants to throw on the head piece and chainmail, to bask in Lannister's own riches of glory. The audacity of this traitor, to lay claim to Lannister's territory. Nothing worse than a ravaging dog who has nothing more than bark. The reckoning has begun, he'll claim. The royal conquest of Lannister's crown is on sight, he'll believe. Hear my roar, Lannister, he'll boast. Listen to my battle cry, he'll sing. He'll make that climb...

...Only to realize what is Lannister's, is Alles Fur Lannister. And he'll fall. Just like the rest who have opposed Lannister's claim as the rightful King of Elite.

The iron fist breaks the backs of those that oppose the King's commands. The punishment will fit the crime, this Miles will come to know. Just like Ares Vendetta came to know. Just like Norman Hellion came to know. All men who wanted the lion's share, only to unearth themselves in shame. It was the Angel of Debt that brought upon the decadence of their kingdom of lies. IT IS ONLY LANNISTER'S KINGDOM, THAT MAY RUE THE DAY. THE ACCOMMODATION of LANNISTER'S LEGACY, IS TRUE. IT'S DEFINED. WHO ARE YOU, MUTT MILES, BUT A DOG WHO HAS CHOSEN TO BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS. Even in disgust, Lannister can't even give you the greatest insult of all, which speaks VOLUMES TO HOW MUCH OF A SPECK you truly are in Lannister's presence. Lannister wishes he could claim you were his greatest failure, his greatest lost investment... but you are not. You're no Norman Hellion. You're just you, and at the end of the day, that doesn't account to much. Let alone a crown, with the power of a kingdom behind it. You are not destined for this, Mutt Miles, much like the King of Fools in Ares Vendetta. You are the reaction, but never the action. You are a follower, a deception in the art of war. Meant to be a decoy, hug around the front lines, and to eventually lie amongst the dirt as a sacrifice. That is what you are to Lannister, because that is all you ever proved to be. They say in war there is always a high price in casualty, but Lannister should have known the only price to pay was that of broken loyalty. AND IT IS NOW YOUR PRICE TO PAY, UNTIL THE KING'S WRATH IS FULLY UNLEASHED. THE WITCHING HOUR IS HERE, MUTT, AND YOU CAN'T HIDE IN THE DARK THIS TIME.

You can't escape this catastrophic turnout, this fatal mistake you've made. Look down the line Matt Miles, LOOK AT IT. WHO DARE TELL THE TALE OF WHEN THEY TRIED TO TAME THE LION. TELL LANNISTER, WHO IS THERE TO BOAST. KING LANNISTER TOOK DOWN HOUSE VENDETTA, MADE THEM SEPARATE FROM THE WOLF PACK AND FEND FOR THEMSELVES. WHO, MUTT, WHO HAS MADE KING LANNISTER BEND THE KNEE. NOT JACOB SENN. NOT DEVAN DUBIAN. NOT ARES VENDETTA. NOT VIC VENDETTA. NOT NORMAN HELLION. NOT JAMIE O'HARA. ALL MEN WITH STATURE, WITH PEDIGREE... AND YET, NOT ONE HAS MADE LANNISTER HUMBLE.

SO WHO... ARE YOU.

WHO... THE HELL, ARE YOU.

( Lannister takes a dramatic pause, as he catches his breath. )

No one.

( Lannister begins to laugh, as he mutters the name "Matt Miles" once more. )

What a joke. When Lannister scorches the earth with you at Road to Redemption, it'll be as if EAW didn't even lose a soul that day. If you hadn't made this oh so personal, Lannister would have made you rue the day long ago, for what opportunity you took from Lannister at the Super Show. But you've earned yourself a stage, one where Lannister knows the gallows are on sight for everyone to see. There are no rules in this game, that you have chosen to play with YOUR King. Carnage is only an added bonus, for this hate is mutating like a disease. You have taken gold from the King, and for that, you must pay with a traitor's death. You are nothing to me in name, but your head will make for an excellent display case on the gates of the Lion's den.

You can say "You're no king of mine" - much like the rest who oppose the clawing grasp Lannister has on this Kingdom. But just come to know, the acts of war are much more deafening than the pride you will have brought, and lost, that day. This lion was battle born for a fight, and why is it Matt Miles, that any time you were asked to step up to the plate, you struck out. You won a contract once, under Lannister's guidance and teachings... but when asked to fend for yourself, before and after, you have never arisen to the occasion. Lannister knew it was a risk to bring you into his King's Guard, but he never had thought that your failings would embark on RAGNAROK's legacy. You soiled it to beyond belief. But make no matter, your punishment has been written in stone for quite some time, along with the hole that now resides in the ground. You have ridden on the coattails of Lannister's, and Aren Mstislav's success for too long, without any substance to abide to.

But instead of the continuation of Lannister's conquest for gold, he must stop up, and rid himself of the leech that's been on his back for the better portion of the year. It is up to the King himself to liberate this world from a man of your poor moral ground. How can you even look yourself in the mirror, after all the riches you were promised, and GIVEN. To stab the King you swore an oath to in the back. It is not the act of betrayal that Lannister is truly disappointed in, Miles. You learn the most about a man when he thinks he is not being watched. But it just speaks to the lack of everything in you, Matt Miles, to ensure Lannister could never lay down his King's Justice on you. You are just full of mistakes, aren't you? Either it be making a teammate out of Alex Anderson, or your choices named above. You are nothing more than a contagion anywhere you go. Lannister has already made a promise to make you pay for your crimes, and now he's promising to make you look like a scared little fool. Not that this is the one that requires effort, for your line of sequences will prove that one outright. But nonetheless, Lannister will make you bend at his pure will. You WILL bend, before you are forced to break. You are in Lannister's force field now, just what you wanted. But how misery always comes in force when you bring it upon yourself. You have the stench of a dead man, but the look of a jester. Lannister won't even contemplate, bring awareness to the idea that this match has the crown on the line. For Lannister is not in worry, he is not in a threatening scenario to lose his crown. That's how low you are on the totem pole. If nothing else, you've forced Lannister into the brink of action.

But that is all the further this story will be told, when it comes to your small victories. You are the sight of betrayal, and the aura of deceit. You seem to always fall from grace, only to rise once more. That, is the one good thing that Lannister can claim your way. But at the end of the day, you're nothing more but a bottom feeder who plans to feast. You're not allowed to dine with the royal family, let alone steal from them. But you have. Lannister gets not what you had hoped to gain from this whole ordeal, but entertaining the idea of being King of Elite isn't going to be one of them. You have fallen into the grasp of temptation... but Lannister is not a man you deceive. And considering all the time that has been spent together, this just proves you to be a fool. You are no different from the rest that try to seize Lannister's control. In-fact, you're worse. Corruption and lust, that's the only truth to be told. You are twisted in your human ambitions, trying to take on a man of immortal pedigree.

LANNISTER HAS REIGNED AS KING OF ELITE SINCE JANUARY 24TH. MANY CHAMPIONS HAVE GRACED THIS COMPANY SINCE, BUT THERE HAS ONLY BEEN ONE KING. XAVIER WILLIAMS, TYLER PARKER, STARR STAN, NORMAN HELLION, ALEX ANDERSON, ZACK CRASH, XAVIER WILLIAMS, MR. DEDEDE, DIAMOND CAGE... ALL HAVE FALLEN IN MY RULE. BUT THE KING HAS NOT.

ELITE ANSWERS WRESTLING LOST A STAPLE OF ITS COMPANY IN DYNASTY, BUT IT DIDN'T ONCE LOSE ITS KING. IT MAY EVEN LOSE ITS CHAIRMAN... BUT IT WON'T LOSE ITS KING.

ELITE ANSWERS WRESTLING HAS SEEN KING LANNISTER REIGN FOR 326 DAYS... LONGER THAN ANY OTHER KING IN THE CHRONICLES OF HISTORY.

WHAT MAKES YOU DIFFERENT FROM THE REST?

SO LANNISTER ASKS AGAIN...

WHO... ARE... YOU... ?

WHO ARE YOU TO DEFY THE STAKES OF HISTORY? WHO... LANNISTER WILL TELL!

THE MAN LANNISTER WILL ALIENATE YOU FROM THE HISTORY BOOKS OF THIS COMPANY. AND IN TURN, MADE INTO A MERE CHAPTER IN THE REIGN OF KING LANNISTER. YOU ARE THE MAN THEY'LL SING SONGS ABOUT, MATT MILES. TALES OF GUILT AND DISGRACE. BUT THE MOST DISHEARTENING CONCEPT OF IT ALL... IS LANNISTER WILL HAVE MADE A NAME OUT OF YOU ONCE AND FOR ALL. THE MAN WHO TRIED TO DEFY HIS TEACHER AND KING, BUT ONLY TO BE REMEMBERED FOR THE SLAUGHTER THAT WAS BROUGHT UPON HIMSELF. THE RAINS OF MIDAS, THEY'LL CALL IT.

FOR LANNISTER'S PRICE... IS THE ONLY ONE WORTH PAYING FOR. AND YOU'LL BE PAYING... IN FULL. LANNISTER SENDS YOU HIS REGARDS, ONCE AND FOR ALL.

AND LONG MAY THIS DAY RUE YOU.
VENTURA.
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 16th 2015, 8:18 pm by VENTURA.
Road to Redemption IX
[Some roads are meant to be shut down.]

And just like that, we start to hear an abundant amount of stories coming from each foul competitor for this bizarre "Road to Redemption". These people have actually ticked themselves down in order to tell you all and emotional backstory of how much they have struggled through their individual careers. Is this still a wrestling company, or a ridiculous dramatic play that is meant to get some sympathy from the outside? I just don't understand why you people would resort to these type of things. Besides this week, all of you have had many chances to shine each and every week on your independent shows. You've been given the chance to perform with the greatest "quality" possible in order to ensure yourself that 'Yes, I should really consider myself to be a legitimate competitor in this company." As I have stated then and I will state it again, none of you in this company should be considered to be "legitimate". I just don't see the realness in any of you. I know that in this modern day of age, technology and beliefs are advancing quickly like a freight train, but your mind and attitude needs to advance. You need to carry the mentality of a fighter and a warrior, envisioning each and every single match that you partake in to be one that may potentially be your last. However, we have idols that just drape their heads down and look at the clouds, hoping and praying that they can have gold wrapped around their waists in order to be happy.


Idiots.

Yet however, I somehow managed to get myself involved in an Elimination Chamber match for the so-called coveted EAW World Heavyweight Championship. To honestly tell you the truth, this title bears no significance to me whatsoever. Not even an ounce. For crying out loud, people actually rejoice over the fact that once they acquire a championship belt, they sing to the heavens and seem to neglect reality for the meantime. I do not need to win a championship in order to create a powerful statement to both Elite Answers Wrestling and Dynasty. What I do in that ring, when I obliterate and quickly dispose my opponents in a timely fashion, THAT is how I conduct my statements. Bashing people's skulls until they reach a point of unconsciousness is what I thrive on doing each and every week, because if there are going to be people working for this company that don't exhibit any sort of strength and power, then you are simply not worth my time. I get ridiculed each and every week by you peasants, having insults thrown left and right because you do not want to accept the fact that you people are living false life. At the end of the day, I am still breathing air through my lungs. I've gone through every horde of adversaries that were summoned right in front of me. They have been slayed. They have been victimized. However, it turns out that the slaying that will soon to manifest at Road to Redemption would be one that I can consider to be....special.


If I do manage to prevail victorious at Road to Redemption, and I will, I am not expecting myself to be emotionally driven by this win. My fallen brother, Ventura, was trapped in this ideology of having championships all around him, having artificial materials stamped around his shoulders and waist and having this pretentious mindset that he feels like a "Champion". It's a shameful thing that fate decided to get me together with a man as foolish as my brother, and that is why he no longer exists as a man in my eyes. You people trapped him in this endless loop that he can never recover from. With that, the EAW World Heavyweight Championship will be mine to keep as a sign of how fragile this company truly is. I shall serve to be the true superior that will stand over each and every single one of you. I've waited and waited for far too long for this plan to deliver, and this Saturday night, will be a special delivery for each of you to witness.

Already, there has already been a man that has placed his foot forward to dare challenge against what I say. One of your "heroes" in the making, Your "Champion" Brian Daniels. Brian Daniels? Brian Daniels. Only the great god Zeus can confirm how many times that name has echoed through these walls of EAW and Dynasty. Apparently, I am inclined to stand up straight in fear because of the fact that Brian Daniels has emerged into my waters. Why should I be fearful? Brian Daniels, what is the aura that you have that should make me stand before you as a scared man? That piece of belt that you have there? My roach, please, that means ABSOLUTELY nothing to me whatsoever, and that just justifies and magnifies the personal vendetta between you and I. You have quite the crowd out there that rise up to their feet to cheer your name with such power, and you stand over there with a grin, acting as if you are the hero for the people. You are being a lunatic, that's what it is. Even though I hate almost each and every single "wrestler", at least grasp the common sense that these people are nothing but distractions. As soon as they set their eyes on a different person, you will be quickly neglected by them, and that is how most of you start to rapidly turn into these "bad guys". Like, who do you honestly think you are, Daniels? At least appear to me that you are truly this "champion" that cannot be reckoned with, not a man that looks to create jokes in hopes to get a reaction from a chorus of pathetic sheep that you call your fans. You are just like the other participants in this match, all of you want to entertain and be amusing in a sport that invokes discipline and punishment. The closest that you people tend to come up with is, "I am going to fucking wreck you." It's just too disappointing for me to see that there is no one out there that seems to realize this sort of truth. Note that I am not just singling you out here, Brian, but you suffer from the same condition with the rest of the "wrestlers" for this match. You all just don't understand when you need to move forward and just stop trying and move backwards. You want to accelerate your ego forward, bypass each and every cone that gets laid towards your path. You want to have this bright spark for everyone to admire in awe...you want to be known....you want to be triumphant....you want to "redeem" yourself as you travel down this road...

Not when you reach this roadblock you will...
Jacob Senn
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 16th 2015, 8:03 pm by Jacob Senn
[The video boots up as the sight is brought with a dark room with sheer silence that canopies over the entire area. The silence is only interrupted by the flickering of the bright lights to reveal that it is the inside of the Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans, Louisiana where the Road to Redemption event shall be held. In the middle of the arena, stands an Elite Answers Wrestling wrestling ring that has surrounding it the epitome of what Road to Redemption has become known for: The Elimination Chamber. The sense of dread from what has happened to men and eventually women have entered the demonic structure is able to radiate even through a television, computer, or phone screen to send shivers down any average person’s spine. Standing inside of this cage, it is Jacob Senn. The Fabled Conqueror, confidently and proudly standing within the damned walls of the Elimination Chamber, looks directly into the camera with a glint in his eyes of determination and fortitude as something is on his mind.]

Do all of you think this is some giant debate? That we’re like those primy prince rich-boy Republicans and Democrats fighting over who becomes the shiniest turd to be President? EH-EH! No way! There’s no debating what’s bound to happen in the Extreme Elimination Chamber Match and what’s going to happen is that whether it’s that bonafide, street-walking, line-dragging, pill-popping, whore of a woman by the name of Heart Break Gal, or if it’s the dummy that if I didn’t know any better would have Zack Crash’s hand shoved up his rear speaking for him in Clark Duncan, or the rest of the people that I would believe would have spoken up have up and vanished on us with Zack Crash and Y2Impact. The two men that have inserted themselves so much in this war, making demands left and right about “I want this” “I want that” “I need this” “I need that” like spoiled children demanding Christmas gifts, I was assured they would want to take as much time as possible to spew out their venom at their opponents that will stand before them at Road to Redemption! This is not a discussion about what will happen inside of that chamber because the only thing that will happen is Lucian Black and Jacob Senn covering that cage in the body parts of our opponents and standing tall and the end of the night with our hands raised high in victory! No questions, no controversy, just straight facts that will be made real when one of you’re draped across that mat while being dazed from either a spear, a Harmonic Divergence, or even both! You can make whatever excuses you want, conjure up some reasoning that will make you feel comfortable at the end of the night, but the excuses end at Road to Redemption for everyone! There won’t be any Hexa-Gun members to save you from your utter demise at our hands, ironic justice for what happened at Midsummer Massacre, HBG. There won’t be Quality Control to run in and decimate every person standing that hasn’t aligned with The Crash Regime to secure victory, Clark. The only thing that will determine who walks out with total control of Dynasty Wrestling and Elite Answers Wrestling, it will be those weapons that will encircle the cage and our own abilities to determine it and I will be frank with you, Clark Duncan. You have been on an impressive recent string of victories, but it won’t change that because just like how HBG and her ilk have leaned on the crutch that has been their fellow man, so have you. You have become almost reliant that these groups will rush down to that ring and save you from failure, drag you out of the fires of perdition, but they won’t be there when we are locked haphazardly inside of the chamber. It will be you and the man you stand with and the question is that will they be enough? Will your partner be enough to thwart the forces that stand before you? I believe so for Lucian and me, I know HBG does with Y2Impact considering their “relationship” together, but Clark, you’re uncertain.

Yes, you’re willing to fight in two matches with one of them being inside this very structure that I stand within, but you know the history that Zack Crash has that don’t do what is expected of him. The list goes on from myself, to Diamond Cage, to Xavier Williams, and the list continues with you. I don’t doubt that you trust him, that you believe every word that slips out of his mouth, but does he trust you? Zack Crash is a man that has stabbed many men in the back, even when they were on his side with no intention of turning against him, I would know. Crash doesn’t allow himself to take chances, leaves things to fate, so what would happen if say you, Clark, were the only thing standing in his way from the victory in this chamber? What would happen if you were the thing hanging in the balance? He would drop you like a fly and not even shed a tear about it. However, what if you weren’t and that still happened, the paranoia that caused to him to strike against him will be all for naught and you will be at a great disadvantage. This is the things that runs through my mind, I must wonder what runs through his. What deception he thinks lies within you, what could happen if he doesn’t get this sought-after victory that could very well elude him, thoughts just swirling around his head in a whirlwind of madness. Now, I trust in Lucian Black to get the job done, just like I naturally assume he does the same with me, that doesn’t mean that I trust HRDO and John Conning. The only thing I trust them with, is just like how the American people will trust their future and next President, being the shiniest turd out of the bunch. I have bore witness to corrupt chairman after corrupt chairman. From Ashten Cross, Dark Demon, Mr. DEDEDE, Zack Crash, and all of them placated the people and the roster as someone who would bring change. You think I can’t see through the ruse that they could be trying to pull? I’ve thought it through, I’ve pondered long and hard about what would happen if they turned dark and you know what came up? A dark HRDO or John Conning or even Sebastian Monroe that ends up running everything around here, it has nothing on what apocalyptic atrocities that Zack Crash and Y2Impact would pull. I represent them to protect me and the brand I stand for. I don’t care about who’s standing at the big chair, as long as they aren’t the ones trying to bring an end to what I’ve built with my bare hands along with the others on this roster. You may think that I’m some chess piece, someone that hasn’t thought this through, but I play this game better than you can fathom and the results will show at Road to Redemption.

I play this game with the greatest of quality that I don’t need some extreme method to lean on for a crutch like Hexa-Gun and with all the crutches they have on them, you would think that they would want to shy away from weapons and cages to be around. That’s the problem with Hexa-Gun, they want the method of extreme back because they know nothing else. They know just how they could just savagely beat another human being into retirement, end them and their careers, but I don’t need to end anyone. I just need to beat them, have them know that I’m the better man at the end of the day, and that no one on the roster holds a candle to the talents that are put on display by The Fabled Conqueror. I can conquer any opponent that is set before me without the extreme methods of old, but Hexa-Gun has been living on that ever since they have been brought in. You don’t decimate unless you take someone by surprise, you use the extreme method, or play the numbers game and outman them. Unlike that, I simply outperform and outplay them in every way! I don’t have to rely on extreme or elite to get what I want, I’m the complete package and trust me, the numbers games may have let Y2Impact and you constantly get the upper hand or try to use your extreme methods in regular contest when we try to see who’s the best on the roster. If you want to hide in your cave and hide behind your stipulations, go right ahead, but unlike you I don’t need to hide. I just need to get you and The Crash Regime standing in front of me, and then I will break you down inside of this Hell with savagery and carnage that you crave for until I claim victory! The fact is that I don't fight for Zack Crash, not for Hexa-Gun, not for Dynasty Wrestling, not Lucian Black, but I fight for me and I fight to win inside of this with no regrets at the end of the night!
TLA
Re: EAW Promoz! (Section closed)
Post December 16th 2015, 7:52 pm by TLA
EAW Promoz! (Section closed) - Page 39 SEX

~The following is a Sexual Panther Production and it is not intended for all audiences.~

Advisory Notice: All characters in the following film are portrayed by random homeless people and illegal immigrants willing to work for almost nothing. They are not intended to be based on anything living or otherwise. Please don’t sue us.

Advisory Notice: Due to fan complaints we have edited all the scenes with the black Stormtrooper out of this film.

Advisory Notice: No dead babies were seriously harmed in the making of this film.

Advisory Notice: They were harmed before the making of this film.

Dramatic music begins to play on a screen of outer space with millions of stars sparkling in the sky. A yellow crawl slowly climbs across the screen like a yellow river of piss.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

STAR WHORES

Episode 69

The Fuckboi Awakens

War has broken out across the former Galactic Empire. 

Evil spaceships striking from the dark side fight against the forces of the J.D. Knights as they try to restore the power they once had. Even though at this point most of them have given up, the remnants of this dark and scary force have begun to make serious waves in recapturing their Empire. Led by an unknown Piff Lord they operate in secret striking when you least expect it.

Even now the royal daughter of the fallen Queen Dachsadala, Princess Luzmadala Gonzales-Gaya races across the galaxy seducing every planet’s leader to gain their favor. But her STDs have begun to grow too much for her...can Princess Gaya restore freedom to her Empire before it is too late????

Act I

The Planet of Sandy Vaginas

The camera fades in on a small desert planet town where a few small houses can be seen. A young man cries as he rages at his aunt for screwing him over. 

Aunt Haru: Calm down young my dear son. Don’t cry now young Crywalker. I do these things because I care about you.

Vance Crywalker: IT’S NOT FAIR!

Aunt Haru: Look I have been selling my body for years now and it barely pays the bills! At least we don’t live as slaves and I get to do something I really enjoy. Your uncle would be so proud if he hadn’t died of the Space AIDS years ago.

Crywalker: I’LL SHOW YOU SLUT! FUCK YOU AND FUCK THIS FAMILY!

Crywalker leaves with his robot companions R2-S1 and Si-3PO the Mexican robot. His aunt cries and goes back into their house to hang herself as Crywalker leaves forever. His neighbors can be seen celebrating in the background.

Si-3PO: Tu eres una puta cabron.

Crywalker: I am going to have to fix your translator Si-3PO. I don’t understand whatever space language you are speaking.

R2-S1: *farts*

Si-3PO: Truuu.

Crywalker and his robot friends make their way across the deserts of Sandy Vaginas as they arrive at the first stop on their voyage: the Scott Oasis.

Crywalker: Thank god we finally got somewhere. I am sick and tired of being fucked over by this desert. I will take this desert on but only at the biggest show of the year, not before, not after. I will fuck this desert if I have to.

Si-3PO: Yo chingo tu tia todos la noches.

R2-S1: *shoots lazers starting a nearby tree on fire*

Crywalker begins to wash his face in the holy waters of Scott Oasis. Crywalker eats a pepper growing nearby as he begins to cry from the spiciness.

Crywalker: DON’T LOOK AT ME!

Suddenly an unknown Gungan man rises from the holy waters as he approaches Crywalker to comfort him.

???: Hesa crying? Oh my! How wude! Excuse me. Mesa Clar Clar Duncs. Hallo! Let’s be pals! I will take you to our great leader Emperor Crashious!

Crywalker looks revolted as Clar Clar Duncs smiles at him.

Clar Clar Duncs: Crashious hesa a really nice guy! You will see. Okay? Let your new friend come with you everywhere from now on!

Crywalker: All I ever wanted was a friend…

Clar Clar Duncs: Awww looky see suh I sure don’t got no watermelons but meesa all about that Kool-Aid! Oh yes suh!

Crywalker: What the fuck is that?

Clar Clar Duncs: Ummm not important. Yu and mesa we fuck now yes?

Crywalker: No I’m too sad. Let’s go see your friend the Emperor Crashious. 

Clar Clar Duncs: Well yousa see I am berry berry great but I don’t actually have a ship.

Crywalker: Whatever. I will get one from my boss. He fucking owes me one. No wait… I am ENTITLED to one. See I deserve to get handed this ship. So what if I haven’t been in to work for two months? I’m fucking awesome and he will give it to me. Otherwise fuck him and fuck his ship.

And so our young hero Crywalker and his new friend made their way across the desert to the nearby town of Iconistan a dirty place led by fearsome gangsters and swindlers. However, unbeknownst to them… they were already in danger as the ruthless bounty hunter Boba Matt looks on from behind a cactus.

Act II

The Fall of a Hero

Meanwhile on a distant planet… Princess Gaya daughter of Queen Dachsadala has been making her way sexually through the entire royal court of the Planet of Tig-Keller 9. No man… or woman has been left unsatisfied at the palace… well except for two. The J.D. Knights accompanying her who have been forced to stand watch each and every night. How much longer will it be until horny young J.D. Sadawan Obi-Wan Sennobi gets some of that sweet space pussy?

Obi-Wan Sennobi: Master… I feel the Force!

Qui-Gon Minns: Use it young sadawan! Use the Force!

Obi-Wan Sennobi: I will master!

Sennobi pulls out his lightdildo as he charges into the bedroom. The royal princess Gonzales-Gaya can be heard screaming from inside. Qui-Gon Minns chuckles as he shuts the doors behind him.

Qui-Gon Minns: Ah boys will be boys. Isn’t that right Master Yodera?

The small elderly J.D. master steps out from the shadows smiling wisely.

Yodera: Ah seen me you did! Come discuss much we must!

Yodera leads Qui-Gon Minns down the hallway as the Princess’s distant screams grow fainter.

Yodera: The news you have heard?

Qui-Gon Minns: Yes Master. I am afraid that it is true. I can feel the power of the Dark Side coursing through me like ebola. I am afraid that my young apprentice Obi-Wan Sennobi feels it even stronger than I do. He appears to have been born with a natural hatred for the Dark Side.

Yodera: Their skin color he does not trust?

Qui-Gon Minns: It is more than that Master. He wishes to oppress the peoples of the Dark Side. He wishes to put them in chains on our space fields and… I almost dare not say it… He wishes for the children of the Dark Side to be deported off this world.

Yodera: Hmmm concerned I am not.

Qui-Gon Minns: But Master!

Yodera: Niggers they are!

Qui-Gon Minns: …

Yodera: Filthy spics too they are. The J.D. Knights founded for this reason! So close our goals are! Our slaves the Dark Side will be! The master race we are!

Qui-Gon Minns: You have been corrupted master! Surely you cannot wish that on anyone?

Yodera: Question me you dare? Kill you I will!

Yodera whips out his lightdildo and takes down Qui-Gon Minns in a single strike. Qui-Gon Minns screams in pain as he begins to die on the floor.

Yodera: Shut the fuck up you will.

Yodera chops off Qui-Gon Minns’ dick with his lightdildo and takes it as a trophy. He chuckles to himself as he walks out of the room. Meanwhile unbeknownst to him… the evil Piff Lord Darth Fall is lurking above the staircase… waiting to strike!

Act III

The Lone Wolves

The group of super best friends forever led by Crywalker arrive in the disgusting crime-ridden town of Iconistan. Psychotic people with tattoos all over their faces and bodies are shown murdering people in the open. One citizens of Iconistan steals an entire bag of New Breed dog food from an unsuspecting store owner laughing as he runs away with it.

Crywalker: Over here. My boss is in there. Oh he is going to get it so fucking bad.

A rage-filled Crywalker storms into his boss’ office. Numerous hot naked women surround the warm steamy surroundings as the giant fat crime lord Elitta the Slutt laughs in excitement.

Elitta the Slutt: Ah if it isn’t young Crywalker! Here to ragequit again I see?

Crywalker: Shit I forgot I already quit here like three times.

Elitta the Slutt: Hahaha you dumbass!

Crywalker: You what?

Clar Clar Duncs: Me suh here for your money suh! Me just a poor lil know nothin’ boy from the Dark Side! Please mastah! Give me some scraps!

Elitta the Slutt: Oh you want my money do you! Yeah no. How about you go dick eat somewhere else?

Crywalker: I am sick and tired of this. I have done everything you ever wanted and this is how I get re-payed? I am so fucking glad I quit this place. But wait… there’s more! I won’t hesitate to quit again if I have to…

Elitta the Slutt begins to laugh his ass off as he mutters “whatever”. Suddenly the extremely dangerous and badass Boba Matt enters and shoots down Elitta’s whores with his Space Sperm Shooter. The whores become pregnant as they fall to their deaths at which point their babies also die. Boba Matt laughs as the placenta leaks from between their legs.

Clar Clar Duncs: Now whosa are yousa? Darth Crashious won’t be likin’ this none at all! Oh no imma have to kiss his ass somethin’ extra special tonight! Maybe I will put my lightdildo up where meeesa knows he liksa it the bestest!

Boba Matt shoots his Space Sperm Shooter all over the room for no reason as Si-3PO is hit.

Si-3PO: You bitch. Imma wreck you with my Mexa-Gun!

Crywalker: Si-3PO you fixed your translator!

Si-3PO: Shut the fuck up hater. I’ll whip yo white boi ass mahself to if I gotta. I give no fucks and this lil hoppa gonna fuckin’ pay!

Si-3PO takes out his Mexa-Gun as he fires at Boba Matt who quickly dodges out of the way. R2-S1 begins shooting lasers all over the room starting it on fire.

Elitta the Hutt: No! My pimp palace! Where will I take the hos now?

Suddenly a spacecraft suicide bombs into the pimp palace as a huge explosion goes off. Crywalker can be heard screaming and crying in the wreckage as Si-3PO continues to fire off his Mexa-Gun at the unknown enemy.

???: Stop it you dropkicks! Ay matey it’s time to go outback!

Clar Clar Duncs: It’s yousah! 

???: That’s right it’s me. The legendary lone wolf space terrorist Han Yolo’hara. On behalf of the Space Caliph Anderson I have come to declare holy jihad on all dropkicks around the galaxy! ALLAHU AKBAR MATE! If you fuck with me I won't give you the walkabout if you know what I mean. You can call me Han Yolo for short. That’s what my good buddy Chewcaca calls me isn’t that right baby?

Han Yolo’hara begins making out with Chewcaca as more explosions and screaming can be heard in the distance. An extremely pissed off Crywalker gets up as he stands with his hands on his hips.

Crywalker: Well?

Han Yolo’hara: What?

Crywalker: So you are gonna take me on your ship now right?

Han Yolo’hara: Umm fuck no.

Crywalker: Fuck you and fuck your..

Han Yolo’hara: Okay okay. Mate I really don’t want to deal with this. See I am a lone wolf... and I am meant to be alone... But you seem like a really big pain in the arse so let’s get this over with.

Clar Clar Duncs: Yay! Moresa pallys for meesa! Crashious is gonna love you up some speshal!

Reluctantly Han Yolo’hara and his sexy space whore Chewcaca allowed Crywalker and his asshole friends onto the ship. Little did they know that Crywalker would not stop bitching even after getting what he wanted. But the spaceship was already in the air en route to meet with Darth Crashious… and it was far too late.

Act IV

Darth and Edgy

Meanwhile on the Breath Starr, the secure Piff Lord fortress built specifically to keep Qui-Gon Minns out… Smoke from the Piff Lords seeps out of every crack into space working as a natural camouflage to all potential invaders.

Darth Crashious: Ohohoho! Even now my minions enact their evil plans! I have Darth Fall exactly where I want him!

Darth Demon: *breaths heavily*

Darth Crashious: Don’t you breath at me like that you dirty mick! I made you and I won’t hesitate to put you out of your misery! 

Darth Demon: But do we really want Darth Fall to be at the top of the stairs waiting for Master Yodera?

Darth Crashious: Ohohoho my ignorant little friend. You do not truly know the extent of my evil plans! No… Darth Fall was at the top of the staircase but now you see… he is very much at the top of the NEXT staircase! Master Yodera will not see this coming… oh no… and soon I will have the J.D. Knights begging for my imperial mercy!

Darth Demon: This is by far the dumbest plan that I have ever heard.

Darth Crashious: You dare to question me? The overlord of all the Piffs and Landerson Lords?

Darth Demon: I can tell you are the overlord of the Landerson’s by how idiotic you are.

Darth Crashious: You what mate? I’ll fucking wreck you bitch!

Darth Crashious charges in at Darth Demon who quickly takes him down with a single left hand punch. Crashious gets a shot in as he goes down out cold.

Darth Demon: *breaths heavily* I need another joint.

Act V

A Sexy Party

Darth Fall is discovered at the bottom of the staircase and is quickly arrested for the murder of Qui-Gon Minns and brought into the royal chambers of Tig-Keller 9 to await the justice of her Majesty Princess Luzmala Gaya and her J.D. knight advisors.

Darth Fall: But I’m pregnant…

Princess Gaya: Correction. You WERE pregnant! See I know a little something about miscarriages and after what we just saw happen… gurrrl you sure just had one!

Princess Gaya bobs her head back and forth as she snaps her fingers.

Darth Fall: The Piff Lords will not forget this. We are legion and we will kill you all!

Princess Gaya: Well I ain’t nothin’ gurl if not a diplomat! Look at you with that nasty ass red and black makeup all over your face. I couldn’t even tell you was a woman until you started talkin’!

Darth Fall: I’m not a woman tho.

Princess Gaya: Oh… well that is just too weird even for my tastes! Still… if it means peace with the Piff Lords… this can be all yours baby!

Princess Gaya spreads her legs and opens her dress as the royal court gasps in horror. Darth Fall smiles excitedly as he makes his way up to the throne.

???: STOP RIGHT THERE! I WILL NOT LET YOU TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY FROM ME!

Chewcaca and Han Yolo’hara suicide bomb their spacecraft through the windows of the royal court crashing into a crowd and killing Darth Fall as Crybull emerges.

Crywalker: My lady you deserve so much better. And I am ENTITLED to so much more! Come open your legs for no man… but ME!

Princess Gaya: You insolent little… How did we hear your voice before the ship crashed through the window?

Master Yodera: Wait you must princess…. Chosen one he is!

Crywalker: Yeah that’s right. I’m the fucking chosen one because I get everything handed to me. I’ll have you know that I have worked my ass off harder than anybody in this room.

Princess Gaya: I see… Come we must fuck at once!

Two minutes later.

Princess Gaya: Well that was pretty much what I expected.

Crywalker: I don’t get why we couldn’t have waited to fuck until the biggest night of the year. Next time bitch we are doing it right… or not at all.

Princess Gaya: Well I have a big surprise for you baby. Guess what… I’m your sister!

The crowd gasps as Chewcaca vomits onto the floor. Han Yolo’hara gets turned on by this and begins making out with him licking the puke chunks out of his thick fur.

Crywalker: What the hell? You couldn’t tell me this before we fucked?

Princess Gaya: Oh honey I don’t know if we can call that fucking. We didn’t even…

Crywalker: Okay whatever. I have had enough of this anyway.

Clar Clar Duncs: Come mesa fwend! Darth Crashious gives meesa the bestest of sexy times! 

Princess Gaya: I must meet this Piff Lord at once. I have had enough of the darkness he brings to this land. Master Yodera will you join us?

Master Yodera: Chosen one he is. Care I do not. Weed I will have.

Master Yodera blazes up a joint as he leaves killing random people with his lightdildo.

Si-3PO: Vamanos motherfuckers.

And so our heroes finally make their way to the lair of darkness. The most feared place in the galaxy… the Breath Starr. But things are not as they seem… and secrets will be revealed!

Act VI

A Twist Nobody Saw Coming

Han Yolo’hara suicide bombs his spaceship into the Breath Starr easily passing its defenses and landing in Darth Crashious’ throne room.

Clar Clar Duncs: Crashious! Meesa home! Meesa here to suck your dicksa!

Darth Demon: *breaths heavily*

Clar Clar Duncs: Oh Mr. Darth Demon suh meesa didn’t know you was here! Meesa sowwy!

Darth Demon: There will be no dick sucking tonight I am afraid Clar Clar. The time for fun and games is at an end. Your Emperor like an idiot thought that he could rule the world. I shall kill all who stand in my way. This was about something more once… about equal rights for the dark man! 

Han Yolo’hara: What a bloody dropkick mate. I outta bomb the fuck outta your bloody pissant space station.

R2-S1: Beep beep you badass beep.

Si-3PO: Wait… you just wanted equal rights?

Darth Demon: That’s right. All of this bloodshed could have been avoided if Crashious had just given equality to the Dark people!

Clar Clar Duncs: You shut yo dirty blacksa assa up yousa! Yousa a no good dirty uncle Tom you is! Crashious will kill all the light man! Yousa will see!

Si-3PO: Clar Clar shut the fuck up vato. I will whip your ass holmes if you keep running your mouth.

Clar Clar Duncs: Oh I would like to see you try suh! If Crashious won’t do it I will!

Clar Clar Duncs suddenly charges at Darth Demon with his lightdildo in hand and cuts off one his hands.

Darth Demon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Si-3PO: Clar Clar… you hatin' ass bitch!

Darth Demon falls to the ground as Crywalker and Princess Gaya rush over to him crying.

Princess Gaya: Why… WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN?

Darth Demon: Crywalker… you do not realize your importance!?!?

Crywalker: Actually I’m pretty well aware of it thanks.

Darth Demon: No… you must discover your power! *breaths heavily*.

Si-3PO: You should smoke less holmes. Actually no wait… smoke more I got some shit to sell you. Don't worry I get the best shit at the lowest prices fit for a Piff Lord.

Darth Demon: Join me and I will complete your training! With our combined strength we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy!

Crywalker: I’LL NEVER JOIN YOU!

Darth Demon: But you will fuck your sister? Oh okay I guess this is just a little too big a step for you to take. I didn’t realize you were on such a high moral level… Clearly the lack of a father has had an influence on you boy.

Crywalker: HE TOLD ME ENOUGH! HE TOLD ME YOU KILLED HIM!

Darth Demon: No… I AM YOUR FATHER!

Crywalker: No.... No… THAT’S NOT TRUE! THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!

Darth Demon: Search your feelings you know it to be true!!!

Crywalker: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Darth Demon: Come with me. It is the only way!

Crywalker falls off the bridge of the Death Star to his death screaming as he goes.

Crywalker: Fuck you and fuck this fallllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!

Darth Demon: *breaths heavily*

Princess Gaya: Does this mean you are my daddy too? I would like to make this a whole family affair today if you know what I mean.

Darth Demon: No. Actually I’m not his father either. He was just such a huge bitch I wanted to get rid of him.

Han Yolo’hara: Oh okay I guess that’s understandable ya dropkick.

Si-3PO: Si si todos estamos de acuerdo amigos.

Clar Clar Duncs: So yeahsa. Yousa are not paying much attention to meesa! Typicalies! Listen fwends! We are going to destroy the light side and we will do it in the memory of Darth Crashious!

Darth Crashious: Hohohoho but in a shocking twist that nobody saw coming I am still alive!

R2-S1: Beep beep GASP beep.

Darth Crashious: Look at all you light-skinned niggas coming up in here acting like you own the place. I OWN ALL OF YOU! I AM GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

Si-3PO blasts Darth Crashious with the Mexa-Gun sending him flying off the bridge.

Si-3PO: Have a nice fall...puta.

Si-3PO blows the smoke off his Mexa-Gun as Princess Gaya rushes over and begins grinding on him.

Princess Gaya: You saved me baby! Let me show you a good time.

Si-3PO: Bitch I’m a robot but I ain’t stupid. I don’t want no viruses up in mah programming.

R2-S1: Beep beep beep I do beep.

Clar Clar Duncs: Yousa is a son of a bitchsa! I will killsa yousa for whatsa you didsa to meesa loverrrrrr!!! DIEEEEE HATER! MEEEHHH

Clar Clar Duncs feebly throws his lightdildo at Si-3PO but it lands about five feet in front of him grazing the hair of Chewcaca.

Chewcaca: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

Clar Clar Duncs: Oh shitsa! Meesa really in for it now! Goodbye fwends!!!

Clar Clar Duncs cowers in fear as Chewcaca, Han Yolo’hara, and Si-3PO close in on him.

Epilogue

Attack of the Clars

Princess Gonzales-Gaya takes her top off as she parties with her friends at Elitta the Slutt’s newly built pimp palace on their victory over the Dark Side. Master Yodera celebrates by ordering his slaves to bring out the purple drank. 

Master Yodera: Victory we had. Proud of you light people I am.

Si-3PO: Thanks master. We couldn’t have done it without you.

Master Yodera: Sarcasm you give? Dirty spic robot you are? Wreck you I must.

Han Yolo’hara: Woah there calm down you dropkicks. Let's get ready to watch Chewie's strip show!

Master Yodera: No emotions I have. Way of the J.D. that is!

Elitta the Slutt: Dick eat you must.

R2-S1: Beep beep beep owned beep beep rekked beep.

Dramatic music plays as the credits roll. 

After the credits...

Meanwhile in the darkness of space on an uncharted planet in an unknown system. A coffin opens…

???: Weesa have returnedsa! War is coming fwends!

Suddenly Obi-Wan Sennobi suddenly appears wearing a white robe and hood as he brings down his lightnoose upon the Dark Side clones. The camera fades to black.

© 2015 Sexual Panther Productions Inc.
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